0512(1)

Added: 2026-05-16

[00:00:00]I want you to think of a situation where you've had an argument, and maybe you walked away from that argument thinking they were bang out of order there and I was in the right. Maybe there's things that you could have done differently, but in that moment everything's black and white. You're right, they're wrong, and there is no reflection. So, timing is fundamental when we're doing a debrief. A common mistake that people make is they're looking to make it about blame. They're looking for a confession.

[00:00:21]They're looking to own up because we think that's the way that people learn, that you must admit that you are bad or did bad and therefore but that's not how it works most effectively. All that does is trigger people either into re-escalation or it triggers a result of the person shame shielding and then blaming everybody else because they can't take that level of shame or or guilt [music] that they feel in that moment.