Successful individuals often need creative outlets beyond their primary profession to maintain mental well-being, and having a supportive network of friends is essential for managing the challenges of balancing multiple roles such as acting, motherhood, and content creation.
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S2 Ep11: Balancing Acting, Motherhood and Content Creation - Don’t Touch It | Carla FreemanAdded:
Hello everyone and welcome back to Don't Touch It. I am Caroline Parker, your host. Today I have Carla Freeman. She is an actress, but she also is a comedy content creator. We talk all things motherhood. Why am I craving the chaos?
She has a larger age gap between her children and the importance of having friends. Let's get into it.
>> Welcome.
>> Thank you. Thanks for having me.
>> We both just sat down and we're just like >> just having a chat.
>> I know. We have met each other a couple of times and when we have we've like >> Yeah.
>> gravitated towards each other in the room. I think we just have similar energy.
>> Yeah. It was a premiere and the film was literally about to start. We were just at the side like >> we were by the uh they when you go to premiieres they have like a drinks table on the side. Yeah. And I was like, well, have one champagne for now and then I got to have one for because they take it away. Yeah, they take it away. Yeah, that's depressing.
>> That's clever. If you work out the um Yeah, the drinks table. It's clever. I was too late for champagne.
>> Oh, no. I drank them all.
>> Exactly.
>> Right. So, you are online and you do comedy content, but you are an actress.
>> Yes.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Traditionally.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> So, you went to acting school? I did.
>> How was that like process? Was that out of college? Did you do that for university? I did that. So in yeah instead of uni basically. So I went to college and then when people go to uni you can go to drama school or you can go to university and then go to drama school. But I went to drama school. I went to Guilford and I loved it.
>> Me. Yeah. Yeah.
>> Yeah. Sorry.
>> Yeah. Sorry.
>> Um Yeah. I loved it. I loved it. Um it was really good fun. Yeah. For three years.
>> Oh wow. And your husband is also an actor.
>> He is. Yeah.
>> Yes. Did he do the same?
>> He did the same. Yeah. Different drama school. We didn't meet at drama school.
Okay. But >> he went to one in London.
>> Um, yeah. So, sadly, we are both actors.
Yeah. It wasn't really my dream to marry another actor. But there we go.
>> Cuz most people I've had on most people I've had on, they like one has been the creative and then the other one is boring.
>> Yeah. That's a nice balance. The one is boring. Did you just say >> like my husband?
>> They're like, "What does he do?" And I'm like, >> he has like a chaing job, you know.
>> He's stable.
>> Yes. He is mentally aware of his Yes. of his How did you and your husband meet?
>> We met doing a pantomine.
>> Yeah.
>> No.
>> Yeah. At the Liverpool Playhouse, we did What was it? Probably Aladdin.
>> Was he the Dome?
>> No, he wasn't the Dome. He was the baddie and I was Princess Jasmine.
>> Yeah. Boo. Boo. I've got Yeah. Yeah.
Some really great pictures. And um Yeah, that's how we met.
>> That is epic. How long do you do a panto for? like pre-production then >> it was >> you together quite a lot.
>> Uh yeah well we did it for three years on the trop. So the first >> wow dedication >> dedication but the first there's this thing in like the acting world where you have to check if it's if you like the person or you like the person because you're in the little bubble with them and you just it's really exciting and you spend all your time with them.
>> So I just wanted to check also I was in a different relationship at the time when I first met him. nothing, you know, but you know, >> um and so yeah, so it took me a good two years and then the third year I was like, "Oh, yeah, actually it's not a bubble thing."
>> Oh, so you weren't together the whole time? It was just towards the end.
>> No, just go the last one.
>> And to anyone who's listening who maybe isn't aware of what a pantomime is.
>> Oh, >> yeah. Cuz it's only a UK thing.
>> Really?
>> Yeah. So, I took Kyle, my husband's American, obviously, I took him to his first pantomime when we >> last Christmas.
>> I didn't realize.
>> Oh my god. He let went walking out of woking theater. He was like, >> "It's quite wild.
>> Was that I told you it was submersive."
>> It's really, you know, >> it's like a Christmas. Every year in the UK, >> everyone pretty much goes to a panto and it's it's not Christmasy though.
>> No, they try sometimes Christmasy stuff, but it's >> like we did Who would we do? We did Aladdin this year. We had Aladdin and then last year was sleeping. No. God, no. Oh, when you said we did, don't. My family, we did it. And it's really like you, it's the same lines. It's actually the same structure almost on most panto.
You know what you're getting when you go behind you and there's a bench scene with a ghost and >> the speeding up song, things like that, pretending to knock each other over the head.
>> Yeah. I actually controversially really dislike pantos.
>> But perhap sorry blasph blasphony >> blasphemy >> blasphony.
>> Yes. Um I Yes, I do. I do. Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. I struggle through but I really there's something I find just really like he's beh like he's behind you. He is behind you.
>> I don't enjoy it. I'm like just look to your right. Like it stresses me out.
Also I did three of them and I Yeah, I enjoy doing them. I don't enjoy watching them.
>> Okay. And then what got you into making the absolutely amazing content that you do now?
>> I Thank you. I well I think it was kind of the lockdown era. I was a little bit late. I'm always a bit annoyed about that. I was about >> I was about 7 months late into the lockdown time.
>> Oh, I was as well.
>> Were you?
>> I actually didn't do it in lockdown.
>> No. No.
>> I came after >> it to because I was really I think I was really inspired by everyone that was doing it in lockdown, but I didn't have the confidence. I was like I can't no I can't do no. That's no.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then actually it was my husband. He was like, "What? You you're so dafted and stupid and you do such Yeah, thank you. Romance."
>> End of the sentence.
>> Thank you. Thank you. And um yeah, he he was like, "Let me just film it and just put it. Who cares? You can take it down like in like two hours if you don't."
And he just filmed me doing something and I put it out and I was like, "Oh."
And some people were liking it. I was like, "Oh, they're like, "Oh, we love a supportive kid."
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's very supportive.
>> You do this. Um, I think of you while I put my children to bed. You do this one skit which is so funny.
>> Um, we have That's Not My Fairy.
>> Oh, yeah.
>> We also have >> That's not my bee. We have like That's not my penguin. That's not my donkey.
There's a whole array of books and you essentially go through each page and they've got like That's not my fairy, it's skirt is too silky.
>> You have adapted it into like that's not my swimming lesson.
>> Yeah.
>> The mom is in a cool room.
>> Yeah. Yeah. It's >> She's not sweating.
>> Funny.
>> And you do That's not my evening.
>> I think was your first one. That's not my mom.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. The first one was like her hair is brushed.
>> Yeah. She's going for a poo on her own.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> How do you find your inspiration >> through literally what you said like I'm we've got all those books and I read them. I'm like that's not my fairy. Her wings are too shiny. And then I'm like, what if I did like what if I humanized it and put like situations into >> Yeah, >> cuz your content is semi like >> obvious >> but it's lands so well that it's >> Oh, thanks.
>> Perfect.
>> Yeah. Well done.
>> Well done you.
>> Well done you.
>> I love your stuff.
>> How do you come up with like your characters and stuff?
>> Um >> is it is it a reflection of you?
>> Have you seen my characters? Um I characters is is something I really love like all the I'd say all the that's not mine and everything. I I also Oh god.
Sorry. Sorry.
>> Um >> smashing the place up.
>> Um I would say yeah I do certain things I do because I I enjoy them, but I also think they're really like there's something relatable that I want to share with everyone. But my character stuff is stuff for me that I want to try out and I'm like I don't really care if I do care desperately.
but care less if it's not greatly received because I'm trying something and I'm enjoying it. And I'd say, >> yeah, I don't know if they're me. I do a mom character and that's basically >> my mom. So, it's not that >> a little bit my mom. Hi. Hey. It's not me. Oh, that's ridiculous. Um, yeah. So, it's quite easy to do stuff like that.
But I don't know if they're what was the question again.
>> Do how do you find how do you find inspiration on your characters? Do you find it some an outlet for your actor skills and your journey through that to be able to have something that's quick and easy you can pick up your phone whereas like a lot of the time for actors you have to go through um I say interviews what they call auditions and all that and it's such a process Paul you actually can get to the character whereas your phone you can just like pick up and do it. I think I >> creative out outlet.
>> Exactly that. Exactly that. It's so that is a creative outlet and I desperately I I really need that in life. A creative that's why I wanted to be an actor and so it's amazing for when I'm not acting acting I can still >> get my kick and my creativity on on the platform because it's yeah it's brilliant. Do you feel like there's a shift in your acting world at the moment with people like content creators, influencers and stuff?
>> They're sort of jelling together at the moment. You know, there are influencers at the Golden Globes and there's some of them are being cast in theater and movies and stuff. How do you feel as someone who kind of does both >> for the shift in the industry? Do you think it's a good thing?
>> I think it's new.
>> It's I think it's just new. I'm not one of those people that I I have there are people that are like, you know, they get quite annoyed at that fact cuz they're like, you haven't trained.
>> I I am genuinely of the mind that there is space for everyone to do everything in that if it's your time, it's your time and if you're skilled and good enough and it's your part, it will be your part. So, I think >> I think it's kind of great if I I think it's all creative, isn't it? So if people were wanting to be creative and be in movies and making stuff so that they can be in movies, then we should be encouraging that. However, >> there Oh, it depends who it is really, doesn't it? There are some there are some people I'm like, seriously?
>> Yeah.
>> You really got that bar? Is that cuz you've got 16 million followers and you know that that'll get bums on seat in the theater? But then if I was making a movie No, if I was making a movie, I wouldn't do that.
>> You wouldn't shade. You wouldn't hire someone who's got the followers?
>> I No, not purely based on followers. I would hire them if they were perfect for the part and they happen to have loads of followers. What a win-win.
>> Yeah.
>> I definitely wouldn't go looking for someone with massive followers.
>> Do you think people in the like traditional sense look down still very much so on content creators and influencers >> as a bit of a threat almost?
>> Yeah, I do. I think so. Cuz before everyone was like moaning about Harry Styles just being uh cast in movies and that was sort of like the biggest threat and now we've got >> influencers.
>> That's so funny. I literally watched a Harry Styles clip yesterday and I was like >> he is so lucky >> cuz I'm not joking he's very beautiful boy but he was kind of you know just above average when he was singing and looked like I love Harry Styles now.
Like don't get me wrong, he's fantastic, but yeah, but at his audition, if you watch him, like he's not like >> he's attractive.
>> Yeah, he was attractive and he really hopped on the machine. An expression, let's do the little mop head.
>> He had the mop heads. He was Is he Scouser?
>> No, he's >> Manchester.
>> Yeah, he's up north.
>> He's like top north. I think he's more like Yorkshire vibes, isn't he?
>> Is he?
>> Yeah. He's not a Scouse.
>> No. Sorry. Get that out. edit that out.
That's gone. That's gone.
>> Um, do you ever feel like, cuz obviously I'm not going to guess your age, but we're not Gen Z.
>> Don't guess my age.
>> Do you ever feel like making content in a very like Gen Z world?
>> Do you struggle with >> putting yourself out there in like nerves of that? Cuz I know I do.
>> Yeah, I do. I do.
>> I feel so old.
>> I feel so old. If you don't want to feel old, like do not do this because it is so >> also like I get influenced by stuff and I'm like, of course her skin looks [ __ ] good. She's [ __ ] 19. Like and I'm like, oh by that look at that glow.
I'm like, you know, I just turned 40.
>> Yeah.
>> And I'm just like, >> I'm 36.
>> I'm like, >> that's great. I loved being 36. Did you?
>> Yeah. Yeah. Cuz Eta was like four and I was like And I didn't have my second yet. And I was just like back in my Yeah, >> that >> just being really cool like that.
>> Yeah, >> cuz that's what all the cool kids do.
Shake their head.
>> And this is why it's bad for me to be on Instagram.
>> Yeah. No, I do. I find But then I also find like I quite like it because I'm like I know some of these young followers that are I don't like to call them young because it sounds patronizing. They're doing amazing stuff like younger than us.
>> Younger than us.
will might see my stuff and be like, "Oh, that's kind of funny."
>> Yeah. And I'll be like, "Yes." Like, I hate the whole agism thing. Like, I really It shouldn't ex I mean, of course, it exists, but it shouldn't exist. Like, I think Yeah. I don't know what I'm trying to say.
>> It's all right.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. But it does make me feel like, >> can I swear on this?
>> Yeah, girl. You already have.
>> Does make me feel like [ __ ] Have I Sorry.
>> We've already swear a few times. You're okay. Um, before I move on to your children that you've obviously talked about, what has been your favorite acting job that you have booked in the traditional real world?
>> Yeah, in the in the real world.
>> Real world.
>> I have booked a job actually and not have booked. I've shot a job that I can't say speak about >> I don't know when this is going to come out. This will come out um March.
>> Don't know.
>> It's risky. Let's Let's not It's going to be onto It's It's not the It's not the Well, it is for sentimental reasons, but not for career reasons. Um I Yeah, I've just done a job for It's a comedy and it's going to be on the BBC and it's um by one of my favorite directors um who I was it was like a dream to work with. This kind of a dream job. I'm not like a massive part, but I'm a good part in it. And it was really good fun. And that's coming out this year, and I'm really excited about that. That's probably my favorite job.
>> Oh, amazing. Oh, look, we'll have to look out for that.
>> Oh, yeah.
>> So, you've spoken about your children.
>> Yeah.
>> So, you have your daughter is eight.
>> She's nearly eight. Yeah.
>> And then two. Just turned two.
>> Yeah. Same as Cuz our Yeah, >> they're the same, right? When is yours two?
>> Yeah, she turned. She turned two. Yeah, in January.
>> Yeah. So, I've got a January birthday.
So um God too we were actually joking in the um cafeteria bit where we were like this is how old I am pulling out our regrowth.
>> How Yeah.
>> This is how old is yours?
>> Cuz your reg mine is this age.
>> Yeah. That's how old mine is.
>> This is and this age >> the regrowth. It's funny when I get a blow dry uh you can see the ages of my children through my blowd dry. I've got Charlie's Charlie's a good length cuz that's four and then we've got Olivia's two. So that's that length. I think I've grown up cuz I did the bob.
>> You did the bob.
>> I did the bob. So, I've lost the Sophie hair.
>> But, um, you're actually one step ahead of a little bit ahead of me. I'm really scared for like the next bit of the kids, the tween.
>> Are you?
>> I think that's the most scared area of motherhood, I think, for me. Yeah.
>> Yeah. Actually, no. I say really, of course it is. It's It's absolutely terrifying like to think that they'll be out in the world like >> Oh, no. I was thinking that because they're mean to us.
>> Oh, cuz they're mean to us. Oh, yeah.
>> Is your daughter not mean to you?
>> No.
>> Joanie will be another kettle of fish.
Let me tell you, she she claws me in the face. I can't No, I can't control it.
And I'm like, >> I don't understand why. Like and with Eta I remember her being like just you know PE kids used to come and claw her and like you know when she was little and I used to be like >> it must be the parents.
>> It must be the parents.
>> It must be the parents because Eta would never do that. Must be the parenting.
And now I've got Joanie. I'm like [ __ ] it's not parenting because I'm great parent and she still will claw. She goes right into the eyeball sometime. She doesn't do it to Griff just me and Eta.
>> Olivia sometimes she'll be like cuddle cuddle and I'll hold her. I'm like, "Can I have a can I have a hug?" And she goes, "No."
>> And I'm like, "Oh, okay." And then like if I'm cooking, she'll random me just go.
>> Joanie says, "Oh, great. Thanks, mate."
>> Joanie says, "No, go away."
>> Oh, God. And she tells people as well if we have playdates and stuff. She's like, "Byebye. Go away now." I'm like, "Oh, [ __ ] hell." Literally polar polar opposite of the people pleaser in me.
I'm like, she says that to everyone.
It's a term of endearment, honestly.
It's awesome.
>> How do you juggle now having two kids with your husband both being actors and creators?
>> Uh, not very well.
>> Okay. Yeah, >> it's really hard this year. I mean, that's how privileged I am because it's a really privileged problem to have, but has been the hardest I think that I've had so far in my life. Like to juggle a one-year-old, a seven-year-old, two different jobs like is it's mental. And also, neither of my children sleep, which is fantastic. Even the old one, >> the older one is still, she has nightmares. She will always come into our beds. Like there was a little period where she slept. I feel bad even talking about this because all I talk about is sleep.
>> Oh, >> all I talk about soing boring.
>> Sleep and poo.
>> Sleep and poo. Yeah. Less on the poo because the sleep takes over.
>> Sleep is so boring.
>> Yeah. If I had good sleepers, it would be more about poo, but it's just sleep.
>> That's horrible. And it really affects your mental health, the sleep.
>> Like it's horrible if you haven't for years. I just like seven years not slept. And the thing I think is the worst thing is that I'm like if you put your I'm so envious of parents that have good sleepers. I want to just put my kids to bed >> and not parent in the night. I'm parenting it. I'm parenting 24/7.
>> Mhm.
>> Just Yeah.
>> I have a friend who puts her kids to bed at 5:30. So she's already all >> the time. I'm like 7:30. She like text me. I'm like >> Baisy, I'm putting the kids to bed.
She's like, "Oh god, I'm so sorry. I forget." cuz um Elsie's been down for 2 hours.
>> No, [ __ ] off. And also, my sister has had a baby. And I love my sister more than anyone in the world, but she's had a baby. She's now like one and a half.
Ola. And I was like, this kid is going to sleep. I know it.
>> Guess what? Guess what? Ola goes down at 7:00 and wakes up at 7:00.
>> Oh no.
>> Whoopsy [ __ ] do.
>> Oh, does yours not?
>> And then Al will ring me and go, "God, I'm so tired." And I'm like, >> cuz of one night.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, >> we struggle with that obviously with ours cuz we got three. It's like >> I cannot You're my hero. If I had three, >> I think I I don't know what would happen to me.
>> Not going for a third then.
>> No.
>> No.
>> No.
>> No.
>> Was your age gap um intentional?
>> If that's my asking.
>> Yeah. Yeah, it was. It was. Do you know what? I used to say it wasn't and that we were just like it was co and it messed everything up. But and I'm like why was I pretending? It was intentional. Like I cuz didn't sleep. I was just exhausted all the time. I was like, there is no way >> I can have another one when I'm this.
>> Yeah. When I'm this knackered and then >> but also my sister I have the exactly the same age gap between ETS and Joanie that I have between me and my sister and my sister's like my best friend. She's >> who's >> I'm older and Al is 5 years younger.
>> Was it nice bringing the baby home like to her? Yeah, it was amazing and I love having it's I was there was never any doubt like I'm so lucky. Thank god it could happen but I I always wanted to.
>> Yeah.
>> I don't know whether >> are you one of two.
>> I'm one of two and I think it's what you come like I don't know >> where you come from. I'm one of three.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> I always think this I'm like is it what you come what you know is what you kind of I mean unless you're an only child and you want kids obviously that's different but like >> I think if you have like it's me always been me and my sister so I'm like well I'm going to have two kids. That's going to be what it is. Yeah. Yeah.
>> Was your daughter like helpful? Does she want to get involved?
>> Yes. She's great. She's not helpful.
>> No, no, no. The help is >> I do now. I'm like, can I just go and have a quick shower at Can you literally just be with and I'll get up the stairs and I'll just say I just I have to be like she's seven.
She is not the mother. She did not choose to have this baby. Like >> cuz you do see that a lot online where a lot of like if you have loads of kids.
So I have a friend that came from like 10 kids and off that actually she would never do that because she then raised her siblings. So I think you either like >> like it and know it or you go I'm learning from my mistakes and I'm not doing that.
>> Yeah. Or my mother's mistakes.
>> Can you even imagine having >> it's it's >> I don't know how you physically could do that >> in It's different in America. there's more space.
>> But even with the I could have the biggest house of my life and I'd still would not cope with 10. Could you have 10 kids?
>> I wouldn't do it because obviously my my friend say her name. Um I call her I just would just keep going. I actually would have a fourth if I was still in the US.
>> This is so interesting to me because I love that cuz my mind is completely opposite. So I love and I this is I love talking to people that have completely opposite feelings to me because I'm >> What? So what part of So it doesn't >> cuz obviously you're exhausted. You're a mom but you don't that doesn't that's not the overriding feeling for you.
>> No.
>> So what is we are we I just want to we are in a detached house luckily. We are the shouting house of the road >> and I'll I'll wear my crown. Yeah. We're loud.
>> Yeah. Sorry loud and proud.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Um who someone we're e shouting at them, they're shouting at us, they're shouting at each other, dogs barking like we're a noisy house.
>> Communication and communicate. Yeah.
Yeah. Kyle the other day was like, "God, the kids are shouting." I was like, "But we shout like they're just mimicking."
>> Yes.
>> And we don't shout. And my husband naturally is loud cuz he's American and they don't have the inside voice.
Sometimes I'm literally like, "Can you stop yelling?" And he's like, "I'm not Wait." Then he start then he goes complete polar opposite and I'm like, "You're so dramatic." No.
>> Yeah. I just thrive off the like madness. And we just got a dog because >> we just got a puppy dog because Olivia now is two and all my kids are two years apart. So now the kids and the dog are two years apart.
>> Oh wow.
>> I just crave it.
>> You crave the you crave the chaos.
>> Yeah. In the US I would life is just more set up for more kids. I think it's really >> how how >> so like in England we walk most places for example. You got the balance bike out which they ride for 3 seconds and then you've got So imagine if you had two kids that just decide halfway through they don't want to do their bike. Could you imagine? So like >> in England it's harder to have more kids because you're walking everywhere and it's hard because I prefer that kind of life. In the US, you get your car's bus and then you get out and then you get back in your car and then So, it's more transactional which is easier >> with kids. You think it's more set up just kid-friendly?
>> No.
>> Oh, >> no. No, no. I don't think the country itself is more kidfriendly.
>> Oh my god. 100% not.
>> No, no, no. It's not more.
>> It would terrify me.
>> We're very kid-friendly in the UK. And I actually think that's crazy because there are places like Spain and stuff that are even more, you know. But um yeah, I would have another one. I wouldn't now because I feel like I would have be taking away from the children that I have.
>> Yeah.
>> But yeah, I just love the chaos.
>> I love that. I am gonna take try and take some of that next time as you're completely overwhelmed.
>> No.
>> Okay.
>> No. Two actors.
>> Is my house quiet?
>> Singing in the shower.
>> We're doing all kinds of things. I love that.
>> It's crazy. I'm I'm worried for my kids actually sometimes like um >> last night essa came over she went can I have some more love like she'll everything is like a I I don't know where she got that accent from and like I'm like where'd she get accent from and Griff's like probably one of us doing some sort of bit in front of each other like >> it's a non Yeah it's very loud our house >> but you love the loud sometimes I feel again with the sleep, with the loudness, I'm just like I just stand in the kitchen like this is crazy levels and I couldn't add to it. But I'm going to try and take your loving the chaos. I'm going to try and embrace the chaos more.
>> Me and Kle a couple of weeks ago like the >> Does Kyle love the chaos as well?
>> I don't know. I think it's more me. But like we did at one point everyone was going mad and we stood in the kitchen and we went >> they're [ __ ] crazy.
>> And we couldn't stop laughing and we were like those crazy. I mean, like Olivia was like just had a nappy on, sat on the table. Charlie was like trying to pick up the dog. Sophie's got like a massive princess dress on. And then they start fighting. And I was l just like this is crazy. And then they It's when they all start fighting.
>> And then Olivia, my I don't know if yours does this. She doesn't know why other people are crying, so she just cries if they cry. So then you're like, Olivia, I'm trying to console your brother.
>> Yeah. Like go, "Oh, Don's sad." I'm like, "It's not about you, babe.
It's not about you.
>> Do you ever feel like you needed to pause when you did when you got the children got the children as they arrived at the front door? Um had your children from your acting >> like did you have to take a long break?
Was that difficult for you? Well, with Eta and the whole acting world, I would love to not take a break, but it's really massively oversaturated, so competitive, and I am a middle-aged white woman, and it's very >> tricky. Yeah.
>> Um, which is another reason why I started Instagram, to try and, >> you know, be seen by more people. Um but uh no I think when I had ETA I actually got quite low because I wasn't doing Instagram at the time because this was like nearly eight years ago and I didn't have any I didn't have anything else other than being a mom and although my god I was so lucky and I loved it at the beginning actually at the beginning I didn't love it at all. I was really overwhelmed. I'd done some nannying on and off whilst I was acting and so everyone had been like when I was pregnant they're like, "Oh my god, you're gonna be the best mom. Okay, you are gonna nail this. Oh my god, you will love it. There's no other people when your baby comes out straight away.
You're going to absolutely love her." So I was set up >> I was set up. I was like, "This is it.
I'm going to" and I pushed that baby out expecting cuz Griff's got really dark hair. I've got really dark hair. I was expecting like a full-on little baby Malgi. Like I'm like, "Oh my god." And and I have to be with her 24/7. She just she won't be put down and I've got nothing else I'm doing apart from I found it completely. It took me about 6 months I think to really >> start enjoying it if I'm honest.
>> Yeah.
>> And then oh my god I loved it more. Yeah that is okay. I want to say this because it is completely okay and normal and I would have loved someone to have said that to me to go don't worry by the way if you have this baby and it's really [ __ ] weird at the beginning and you're really overwhelmed. That's >> essentially that you're a stranger is put on your chest. You don't know.
You've got to You naturally have those like I could lift a car instinct with your children of course, but like you this is stranger. You have to get to know each other.
>> Yeah, 100%. And I think that conversation now is so much more common and I love that it is. It's brilliant.
But I think even 7 years, 80 years ago, it really wasn't. Um, so I'm Yeah, >> it's great that it is now. And obviously now I like love her more than anything else in the whole world. But and it's interesting because of that with when I had Joanie, >> I did have the love straight away. I did feel that because there was no pressure.
I was like, I probably will feel the same as but I was just like, oh my god.
>> I think it's in the movies as well. They like tell you you're going to have this massive gush of love for your child when >> it's true. Like an intense experience.
>> Can you tell I did hypnoirthing?
>> Did you? an intense >> in hum out push that balloon up into the sky.
>> Did you hypno birth with both of them?
>> Uh I no I I did hypno birthing with someone amazing. She's called Holly and she's brilliant. And I did >> shout out Holly.
>> Shout out Holly. Um Holly de Cruz. Um she was amazing. And I I I did a few classes just because I'm very anxious person and I just wanted to be a little bit more zen going into it because it's quite an anxiety inducing thing.
>> No, because it was soing fast. I did you know what the buildup I did? I stayed at home but I stayed at home too long cuz I was more like I was doing all my breathing and then >> Yeah.
>> So by the time you got to hospital it was like go >> I got to hospital and I had half an hour and then she was born.
>> Were you like transition? Were you transitioning or in the taxi >> because also we just moved house so the hospital was 45 minutes in a car.
>> It was po actually >> were you stressed?
>> No, because I was in it.
>> You went in for the like this is going to happen no matter what.
>> I I in that situation would have rather been me than Griff because I can't even imagine like >> the noises coming out of me, the language coming out of me and he's just kind of got to be like to this poor taxi man. He's put bin bags all over the taxi.
>> Oh my. The poor taxi man pulling up.
>> I took chocolate stuff. It was a local cab.
>> Was it a local cab? Okay. Yeah. And I took >> That's actually better.
>> Yeah. Well, >> imagine if it was just an Uber.
>> I think neither. I mean, >> if we're going to pick which one on the bus?
>> Yeah.
>> Could you imagine?
>> No.
>> Did you How were your births? Obviously, you didn't have time for like an epidural or anything like that?
>> No, I didn't have time. Um I would have loved one, but I didn't have time. I Yeah. ETA was 6 hours from start to finish and short.
>> Yeah. Especially for the first also my best my girls when they had their babies. I was the last one of my girls to have a baby and they'd had those I mean maybe you have as well the horror stories of the 24-hour labor of like >> my Sophia was 36 weeks. My oldest >> she was born at 36 weeks of labor. No, >> she was imagine 36-hour labor cuz I had an induction and it just took a really long time. My body just was like I was overdue. So like I had to had to I had to have it. But yeah, it took a really long >> When did you say 36 hours?
>> Like when I walked into when I had my first bit of medicine, my induction, I guess, was 36 hours.
>> And then it took And did you have to stay in the hospital that time? Oh my god.
>> Yeah. When America, it's very controlled.
>> And in America, you have to pay >> that time. I was pretty lucky. I was We were in the military at that time. Okay.
Yeah. So the military healthcare is similar to like the NHS. It's kind of like allin-one sort of thing. It was with my third I had private cuz we were out of the military and that was an experience.
>> Yeah.
>> But that wasn't 36-hour labor hopefully.
>> No, but it was 36,000.
>> No, I'm just kidding. I mean, it probably was. I think after insurance, like cuz your insurance covers most of it. Most I think we ended up paying like $7,000 or something.
>> God, we're so lucky. And then your monthly even think of that.
>> Yeah. every month you then pay $600 as well um for your family insurance and then it was like $7,000.
>> Would that be the same if you had a home birth? Like if you had to hire the >> Ain't no one doing home births.
>> No, I know. It's terrifying. I'd love to be that person because I love watching them. I think they're beautiful and >> they're really common in the UK.
>> Too anxious. I'd just be like, >> "Yeah, me too.
>> Well, what's happening here?"
>> Yeah. I I want all the medical intervention, which is great for America cuz they're like, "Sweet. This is what we do.
>> Here it is."
>> Yeah.
>> It's on tap. So, no more.
>> No more. No, I'm I'm Yeah, we're we're we're complet Well, I've always wanted I've wanted a dog my whole life. I watched Beethoven when I was like seven. It was like my favorite film. I watched it all the time.
>> Just desperate. I used to >> Oh my god. And in Beth Hovven, too. When they get the girlfriend, >> Regina tries to take the dwars from New Jersey.
>> That's very good.
>> Thank you.
>> That's very good.
Um, yeah. And yeah, so since I watched Beethoven, I just have wanted a dog, but my mom and dad were very like they loved traveling and they love dogs. They're dog people, but they love traveling.
Also, they had a really awful experience with a dog when a dog died and they they just didn't want it.
>> It ruins your life.
>> They That's what my dad was like. It's It's I can't get a dog because I just think about the death of it. And and so >> already you're already anticipating >> already me and Kyle have been like right okay so we've just got the puppy say a golden retriever average life 12 years but already like guessing and I'm like literally I was like we're already thinking about this dog dying we' literally got it like 3 weeks ago like it's mad but they bring you so much joy I know and I can't wait and now I'm a proper grown-up so I can get my own >> get a St. Bernard >> no >> although I mean >> St. Bernard St. Bernard in America.
>> It's St. Bernard. If you've grown up with Beethoven, it's St. Bernard. Um, >> it's a St. Bird in the UK. Don't get one of them.
>> I used to really want a big dog. Like a big scruffy. No, like I don't know what they're called. They're like they kind of look a bit like a whippet, but they've got >> But they're not a greyhound, but they're like um >> a dove.
>> They're fluffy, maybe. No, not the Jedi dribblies >> just because of the cleaning. Yeah. I mean, I And I did want a rescue dog. I wanted to go and get rescue dog but with two kids I don't know >> you actually okay so we recently got a puppy and I think as well because obviously your Tik Tok hits different countries it's really difficult in the UK to get a rescue dog with children >> so a lot of the time it's 16 plus for children >> also having a second dog for us we we already have a dog so we couldn't there was >> unless we got one that was like a local thing and somebody need but those don't really come up much we actually almost got a dog off a dog walker whose owner had passed away and I really wanted this dog and I had this whole vision in my head.
>> Um, didn't get it in the end, but yeah, it's really hard to rescue in the UK.
>> Yeah, >> I also have a rescue dog and I'm not sure >> I would bring a rescue dog into my home >> with young children. I understand why that rule is there in the UK.
>> I get it and and I do get it and this is like the color before kids that was always like, I'm going to go and get a rescue dog. I'm going to home. Like >> you see those videos of the awful like and you're like, "Oh, I can give it a nice home." But then >> that the woman three doors down from us, she does dog she trains dogs for dog therapy.
>> Wow.
>> Oh, like um like disability dogs.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's It's amazing. And she's so lovely. And she always like gets et and Joanie to come and she's like, "Come and meet the dog."
>> That is fantastic.
>> So amazing. Anyway, >> I suppose for her that's uh socializing as well.
>> Yeah. Uh, but cocka poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooos are meant to be really great with Is that my >> anything poo?
>> Poo >> like cavoo labradoodle.
>> I So I But I'm not I'm not a I'm not in the knowledge of the dog breed.
>> I've seen doodles and nutters. My mom had two Labradoodles and like they're just so scatty. I mean I just got golden retriever. So >> Andrex Andrex.
>> No, those are Labradors >> like I said. Yeah, this one would be like long head.
>> I'm going to have a sip of tea and it's >> sip for tea. Oh my god, I forgot to say you are my first actual tea person, so I can use my tap for tea. Ready? Go.
>> Imagine if I just did this knowing that I was going to start my podcast. And every person that's commented, I've got these beautiful mugs. Everyone has like um >> like they'll have like imagining had Rabina like everyone's >> I did not know that was available.
>> Yeah.
Um, so yeah, I'm going to have a sip of mine. So I'm really happy um that someone else is drinking tea. It's not fashionable anymore. I >> was going to say so I'm really happy.
I'm just going to have a sip of my tea.
So I'm really happy.
>> Tea. Yeah. Um yeah, tea is not that fashionable anymore. People don't really drink tea.
>> I think fashion is a load of crap. But fashionable is what you No. No.
>> Oh. Although my lovely agents here, um we had a matcher at an event, didn't we not?
>> I still think about it. I got two and then had quite a strange stomach.
>> Was it a matcha with um with flavor?
>> It was very sweet.
>> Yeah. No, it didn't taste like because I No, I've had that before and I'm not I got one in like Soho and it was like from >> a really healthy shop and it tasted like it tasted like I'd fallen head first into soil >> and so when this stand was there I was like I'm not getting one of those. But then it looked very milky and it was syrupy.
>> So bad for you then. so bad for me that I couldn't taste any of the tasted like pudding. It was delicious.
>> Yeah. Not for me.
>> I don't like the um thought. I also don't drink coffee. So >> ever?
>> No. I don't like the taste of it. Won't even have a tiramis.
>> Do you like terram? Oh, >> she beat me to it.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, >> you don't like tiramisu.
>> I know. And I worked at Kuchio's for a while.
>> Oh, what a loss for you. And they do like they make the tiramisu in like this long like canteen trays and then you they cut them and they're big slices. I always remember thinking like oh god that cream looks so good and a couple of times I'd be like >> before serving it.
>> I'd have a little lick and I like at the end before they're about to throw it away if it's been out for a couple of days and oh the thought of >> No, you don't like it.
>> Nah.
>> Well, what's your favorite coffee?
>> I didn't like coffee but I trained myself. Griff is such a coffee lover.
>> That our thing when we were dating, he would always go and get a coffee. And I just think it's really cool.
>> Oh.
>> Like I think if you're a coffee drinker, it's just much cooler than a tea drinker. I'm a tea drinker.
>> But I also think when you say, "Oh, just have a flat white." I'm like, "Oh." And I'm like, "I'll just have an English breakfast >> with a lot of milk. Just leave the bag.
It don't touch it."
>> Yeah. Don't touch it.
>> Don't touch. Hey.
>> No. Can't do that.
>> Yeah. I um I would love to be able to be like, "Can I have a like a one and a half shot latte with like vanilla?"
>> An Americano black.
>> Oh, that's what Kyle drinks. My husband has that.
>> That is the coolest order. I think the coolest >> in America they do like filter coffee.
>> It's a lot of filter coffee. They walk around the the places with the jugs.
>> We don't have that.
>> I love that.
>> That's so It's giving hope so much. It's giving And also when I've been I've not been to America that much. I've been to New York like five times and I loved it.
But that reminds me of like when they just come around in their aprons with the thing and I'm like, "Yeah, top me up. Hate it and I'll leave the rest."
>> Shake it.
>> But yeah. Yeah. So I trained myself to like it because I like I have to and now I just have like sugar and loads of milk in it and I'm like sugar in your tea >> and if I It depends on how I've slept.
So usually Yes.
>> Yes. I was about to say going back to the children.
>> Going back to the children. Yeah. A sugar a sugar in the tea. Just a little treat as well. you come across very put together online. I know your I know your I know your characters are like a bit scatty and can be all over but I think genuinely and even just sat here I think you're doing better than you probably think.
>> Yeah.
>> Thank you. You're welcome.
>> But I think when you're in it, it's always you always feel like you're >> What's the saying? It's like if you lie in bed and you worry about your parenting or your what you're how well you're doing means that you care.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. And I think you do very well.
>> Oh. Do you find parenting quite anxious or like nervous like to how you're molding them for the future?
>> Do you know what I that is one blessing about the no sleep is I haven't got the time to even think about that. I'm just like I'm just doing my best. The thing that I really push in our family and this is going to sound wanky is that it's just honesty and being open all the time and like so if I >> lose my [ __ ] with eta I'll be like do you know what I'm so sorry I shouldn't have shouted you then. That was not your fault. That's me. Do you forgive? I'm really sorry. And just owning it in front of her and stuff like I don't know.
>> That's very powerful.
>> I think so.
>> I think it's more powerful than you think, especially to the child.
>> I think Well, she always like and and she's already started. She goes, "Oh, no, mommy. Sorry. I shouldn't have done that." Or And I'm like, >> cuz they mimic you.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And and even like Yeah. Just just being really honest.
like at the moment she's like, you know, I I like the friends in my class, but I don't really feel like they're my people. And I'm like, >> wow.
>> Yeah, she's deep. Eta is deep.
>> ETA is deep. Which is the not positive side of being very open as a parent.
She's like, and I just said, well, you'll meet your people when you're meant to meet your people. I believe that. And she's like, yeah, >> yeah, >> that's a lot for a kid to think about as well. Why Sophie just runs with everyone?
>> She'll randomly she'll be like, this boy made really poor choices today.
>> Stop. I love that >> when they say really grown up phrases.
It's my favorite.
>> We use good choices and bad choices. Not not bad choices, sorry. We use >> that is a poor choice. We avoid the word bad. I don't know why I just said it. We don't use the word bad. We say that is a poor choice. Cuz for me, I'll be like, right, if you've got on the counter, >> I'll be like, Charlie, that was a really poor choice. And how are you going to get down?
>> That's good.
>> Like things like that.
>> Or like he I want to let the dog out the kitchen. going to be like, I think that's a poor choice because she's going to jump on you and we're about to eat.
>> Do it.
>> Yeah.
>> But that's up to you. And I think it's really >> teaching them responsibility for their actions.
>> Definitely.
>> Yeah.
>> Definitely. Yeah, it's hard. Oh my god, it's hard when you we're talking about twins and stuff like that. I mean, >> I'm really scared.
>> Yeah. I guess it will all just come out when they get to that age and you see how well you've done up until then. Then you're like, >> wonder what their therapy is going to be.
>> Yeah.
>> It's a lot of responsibility. Like you're creating their childhood.
>> I know it's a lot.
>> I really felt that at Christmas, let me tell you.
>> Did you? How come?
>> Oh my gosh. Do you not find Christmas?
No, I'm talking to the woman that would have 10 children. I find Christmas >> You're Father Christmas now.
>> Yeah, I'm [ __ ] Father Christmas. And I also didn't realize I swore this much.
Sorry. Um I find Christmas since having kids, which is really upsetting because I love Christmas, but a lot of the joy has been zapped for me.
>> Yeah. Because >> Christmas Day or like the whole thing?
>> No, the leadup. Christmas day, I can still find pockets.
>> It's so funny. I'm the complete opposite.
>> Really?
>> Yeah. I find the leadup easier. I find the day very stressful.
>> I think maybe this year we had bug after bug after bug in the leadup. So that probably maybe next year I'll enjoy the cuz I love the anticipation. Like I'm always someone that I prefer like the weeks before my birthday to my birthday.
No way.
>> Because Yeah. Not anymore. Now it's just you're a mama so your birthday's just like happy birthday. Um but um yeah I used to I remember at school just get so excited and be like it's October time.
Yeah >> I still do that.
>> Yeah.
>> Oh I love that. I love that.
>> I'm like guys it's August. Welcome to my month.
>> It's August. Here we go. Everyone ready?
>> You ready for me?
>> I love that.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Do you find you are able to escape your children? Well, >> like do you go on holidays? Did you prioritize your time with your friends?
No, >> I would love I actually see my girls tonight. I'm so excited.
>> Oh, great.
>> Um I But we all kind of We all have a lot of kids. I I have the least actually out of They've all got three.
>> Um Is that why you don't?
>> That's why I don't. And one of my best friends also moved to Paris. There's four of us and we Yeah. Yeah. She fell in love with a Frenchman.
>> Wow. I know. Don't go. Don't we all? But we resist Kate.
>> Stay away from me.
>> Because we stay with our friends. Um, so yeah. So, has she moved to France?
>> Yeah, she lives in Paris, which is great actually because Yeah. Great. Yeah, it will be even better when the kids are a bit older. Um, but yeah, I don't I actually wanted to not that I do January like resolutions cuz it's too much pressure and it's but I want to pro make myself more of a priority this year >> because Yeah. No, I don't I haven't been on holiday abroad for like three years.
which is I know very privileged abroad.
You mean alone with the kids? No. Do >> you go away with the kids?
>> Yeah, we do go away. We haven't actually been abroad with the kids. Um we we booked to go to Italy and then Eta got a double ear infection and we couldn't fly which was which was really rubbish. And then since then I think that scared me a bit to be honest actually cuz we lost so much money and I was like it's so haphazard with everything and then we just haven't got our asses in gear to go abroad with them. you go away all over England and stuff, but >> do you think that's come out of co people doing stations? I actually think it's a really lovely thing to have come out of co is people appreciating going on England holidays to Scotland.
>> Also, I Yeah, I want to go to Ireland.
That's my next stop to go around.
>> Nice.
>> But I also love the sun and heat, so there is that.
>> I'm not going to find it there.
>> No. No. Um, yeah. I don't know. I can't remember what I was going to say.
>> Girls holidays. You're going to go abroad. Oh god, I would love a girls.
Aren't you going? Didn't I see something? You're going >> I haven't been on a sun lounger by myself in seven years.
>> Oh my god.
>> And I'm going to sit on a sun lounger and go with my friend. Two of us. Girls holiday. She doesn't drink. That's fine.
That's her choice. Okay.
>> Why'd you say it so aggressively?
>> I'll just drink for both of us.
>> She doesn't drink. That's fine. That's her choice.
>> No. Do you know what's funny? She's actually very good at um She doesn't need to drink cuz she's naturally so funny without trying to >> You don't need to drink. No one needs to drink. Oh wow.
>> You don't need to drink. Yeah. No, I I >> Okay.
>> I need to >> have a drink.
>> Nobody needs to drink.
>> No one needs sometimes.
>> It's nice.
>> Yeah. I I like a little glass of wine in the evening.
>> I love Whispering Angel.
>> Whispering Angel is elite. Do you know I went for in this summer I went um to pick Esther up from a play date and the mom was like, "Come here." She's so lovely. She's like, "Come in. Come in."
I was She's Irish, so I was nearly going to do that and then I thought I won't embarrass myself. Come, come in. And she was like, "They're playing so nicely.
Come and sit in the garden." Well, she bought out a bottle of whispering.
>> I love these. These are my favorite playdates.
>> And honestly, it was probably the highlight of my month. Like, it was I had the best hour in that garden just and her husband came and joined us. He was back from work early. Came out.
>> God, it was great. I didn't even know it was whispering angel actually because they were just bringing out glass. I was like, "This is delicious." I said, "This tastes a bit like" She's like, "Whispering angel." It is like, "Yeah, >> at Christmas time it goes down to like £18." Cuz normally it's like 22. I like to stock up.
>> Yeah. Yeah. No, it's really really cold as well. Really crispy cold.
>> Delicious.
>> I know we always try and say it, but like prioritizing friendships. Do you find that difficult to prioritize friendships in your now 40s with two children?
>> Um, oh god, I hit the microphone again.
Sorry, drop kick it. Um, no, my friends are like so important to me and for my mental health, I have to prioritize keeping them. And I think it's quite I mean I say this obviously if you have lost touch with your friends, I'm sorry, but like for me, we have a WhatsApp group and we are on it every day.
>> Yeah, >> every day someone will just It doesn't even need to be and we don't all all reply every day, but we're all hearing each other every day. And we do all reply because we're crazy.
>> Can't miss anything.
>> Yeah. Can't miss anything. Don't miss out. Um >> but I do so there's there's a WhatsApp group with my girls girls that I just I speak to them all the time, but seeing them I need to prioritize more because like I'm seeing them tonight but we don't it's hard to get everyone together.
>> Um >> people are busy.
>> People are bloody busy. Um >> yeah. So I would say no. I'd say I I still try and really put in that the little bit of energy I have left >> into friends. Into friends. Yeah. Into friendship.
>> Are they friends that you've had for like a long time? Are they new friends in motherhood?
>> I've got loads of different group. I'm so popular.
>> So I'm so popular, Caroline.
>> Oh my god. I hate having loads of friends. Good for you.
>> Damn. Do you hate having loads of friends?
>> I don't want loads of friends. I mean, when I say I've got loads of friends, I I think the ones that really are real real are maybe I've got six.
>> I always just feel like I'm I'm booked, which is terrible. Um because you should always be open to new people because so many people >> No, I don't have any new friends. No, I'm not having new friends. Sorry.
>> Maybe three years old. And actually some of my threeyear friendships I actually hold a lot of value into than some of my older friends which sometimes oh we're in different phases of our lives >> and I'm like >> yeah sometimes the old friends you're like if I met you now we would not be friends we would not be friends.
>> Yuck.
>> No >> but you have actually my trauma bond say that I'll get Yeah. Um, yeah, you have and you've just been through a yeah, a lot of stuff. But yeah, I do have a certain friendship that I really would like to get out of, which is quite interesting.
>> But I'm not got the >> draining.
>> Yeah, everything is wrong about it, but I'm too scared.
>> It's hard. It takes It takes such strength to walk away from a friendship.
>> It does.
>> I think sometimes friendship breakups are worse than boyfriend breakups.
>> Would you agree?
>> Yeah. I've never had one.
>> You've never had a friendship breakup?
>> Because I'm No, I'm a [ __ ] and I just let people >> I'm like that's No, not even I just keep them in my life.
>> That's why I have so many like there's anyway. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I will deal with it. I think when I've just got more energy and I'm more I think a lack of sleep like breeds a lack of >> feeling strong enough to do something.
And I think once once I'm there I'll do something about it. But >> I mean your daughter's only just turned two. Yeah. I mean they say like postpartum can sometimes, you know, is like two years. I kind of still only feel like I'm like liftartum is like four years. I think postpartum is until they start school and then you're like, "Oh, >> there's my pink coming back because I've got some time." Like, I haven't got any time.
>> Yeah. But it's quite nice cuz your daughter obviously is in school full-time. You got to focus on your daughter. That must have been really nice.
>> That's really good. Yeah. I think that's another reason we did that as well because I couldn't >> I don't know how you did the 2year I again like I just it wouldn't >> I had all three home. Yuch.
>> Yeah. I had all three at home because in the US preschool, Sophie, four. Yeah.
>> Oh my god.
>> She was four. So I had Oh, no. She had No. Yeah. She was at home.
>> Wow.
>> So >> three at home.
>> It's a lot.
>> Yeah.
>> I'm okay.
>> I'm okay.
>> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they're at school now and my Charlie starts school in September. I'm like, I'm dying over it.
I looked at him on his birthday and I was just like, I can't believe you're starting school. Like it is mad that they're starting to go off and I'm sort of like unlike you. I'm like mourning this period of my life already because I know I'm letting go of it and it's >> I'm losing the baby.
>> The baby baby.
>> Yeah. Cuz I really like the newborn stage.
>> I love the newborn like not with Joanie.
I loved the newborn stage. It was really easy. They just snuggled. You just strap them to you and kind of get on with it.
>> Yeah. I love her baby wear. I I miss and I'm jealous of my friends because a lot of my friends are younger than me. I'm jealous of them that get to >> experience it, >> get to do it now.
>> Yeah.
>> And it's hard because I'm so happy for them. Of course, >> but I bet they'd love it if you just put a I was going to say put a strap on. I don't mean that's not what I mean. A strap. Do you know what? This is my mother. She calls it a strap on. She calls the the baby carrier a strap on.
And she says it so loudly in public and I'm like, "It's not called a strap on, Mom." She's like, "Call the pass. Can you put the strap on? No, it's a baby carrier. It's a baby carrier. You know what I mean? I mean, because she doesn't she probably doesn't know what a strap on is, you see. So, that's why she will she'll be like, I don't know what you talking about, Connor. So stupid.
Embarrassed so easily.
>> Just don't yell strap on in this bougie South London cafe.
>> I love that. You're a London mom.
>> I'm a London I'm a London mom. Do you always see yourself as staying as as that's where she gets the accent from?
>> That's where she gets Oh, wonder.
>> Do you like being the London mom where you just sort of like walk out? Do you have a car? Do you drive?
>> I do have a car. I drive everywhere really cuz we've just moved actually to So, we're in South London, but we're >> little bit more further out.
>> Little bit more.
>> A little bit more.
>> Little bit more. Um, yes. So, we now have to drive to a school. Um, which I actually quite like walking. I quite like the walk, so I miss that. Um, I grew up in Cornwall and Yeah. Yeah.
until I was went to drama school. So, um, >> I really miss the sea and the the openness like that. There's so much of London that I love, but I really crave beach and sea. Not even in the summer, just like a winter walk on the beach.
>> I love winter walk on the beach. Yeah.
You need a dog.
>> Yeah.
>> Get down to the witterings.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, >> yeah. So yeah, the dream would be probably to move out. Not to Cornwall cuz for work we can't live in Cornwall.
It's too far. But definitely >> some sort of coast would be really amazing.
>> Would you do like Brighton?
>> I we looked in Hoveve actually.
>> Oh, nice. I like Hove.
>> Absolutely.
>> Oh my god. I was like, do you know what?
We'll move to Hoveve because London is crazy. Crazy expensive. Like I can't it's ridiculous. Look at like right move Hoveve like anyway. So let's stay where we are. Yeah. Jesus, it's so expensive.
It's just all the wrong timing, isn't it? If I'd had done it like even 5 years ago, >> like anyway, sorry, boring chat.
>> They've built up Hoveve as well recently. So, they built up all along.
>> It's really It's still really creative and it's got loads of little antique shops and it's just really I love it.
It's >> I love the way everyone is like really authentically themselves down there like and there's no judgment. I think it's really great for children to see that as well. Like I have a friend who lives down there and when I take Sophie, she always like that guy. Look at that guy.
And I'm like, "Yeah, isn't that cool?"
>> I'm always like, "Yeah, look at him.
He's got a pink mohawk or there's a guy walking around in his like beard." Like, and I'm like, "Yeah, isn't that really cool?" Oh, he they woke up this morning.
He was like, "I'm going to wear this."
>> And like, and it's inspiring for children, I think, to see that.
>> Definitely.
>> People being themselves. Yeah.
>> Cuz in London, we all just wear the same thing. Although, I'm a bit out there today.
>> You look beautiful. I also would say that London though if you get on the tube in London there are it is quite a feast for the eyes sometimes like I growing up in Cornwall where literally >> everyone was white everyone was Christian it was very oh >> interesting >> yeah it was and I didn't even think it at the time and then >> being in London I it it's like oh wow and I love that my kids are growing up here because I'm like oh and their friends are all multicultural like and I love that and I I never had that so it's great Like one of Eta's best friends is Japanese and she goes and like when they go for playdates they have the most incredible food and when they come to mine I'm like oh better up whoops.
>> Um my friend one of Sophie's school friends is Indian so when it was like Dvali we went and did like the Dvali fireworks and they were brought candin it's so nice for the children to like learn all these things. She just went to South Wall. I think it's South Wall.
Like they call it like Little India. And they she bought all this takeaway and my whole table was covered in all this amazing Indian food. And I'm like, "What's this?" And she goes, "Oh, I don't really know. Just eat it."
>> Amazing.
>> And I'm like, "Oh, this one's spicy."
>> No, >> love it. I think it's so good for the children.
>> I was brought up in Sorry, which is probably not as extreme as >> Corn. But still, I didn't see as much, but it is so nice for children to be able to see. I think it really opens them up.
>> Definitely. Um cuz I don't hold rel I'm not religious. So I think it's really nice for her to see other religions and see that everyone's right >> cuz no one's wrong. It's all right.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> And that's how I teach it anyway to my children.
>> Same. Yeah.
>> Same.
>> Love it. Right. Should we do our uh don't touch it.
>> Don't touch this. Don't touch this. Oh, no. That's not can't touch this.
>> Can't can't.
My ick is actually a parenting ick.
>> Okay, go on. Great.
>> Um uh and it is when mothers openly talk about how great their kids are at sleeping.
>> Yeah, >> that's my big or anything.
>> I unless I really love you like my girlfriends or my family, I'm not interested at how good your child is at anything. I want to hear the [ __ ] you're going through and the and how difficult your life is. I don't want to hear that.
Oh, we're so lucky with her. She's just always slept because I want to punch you in the face. And I also don't want to hear she eats everything. She just eats everything. Oh, like just basically we just I I was determined just to make one dinner for everyone and I wasn't going to budge on that. So now she just eats everything. Well, listen. Actually, I was determined to do that, but it went terribly for me and now I make three different dinners every night. Do you?
>> Well, I try not to. Last night I did, but one of them's got tonsillitis at the moment, so I had to make her like little star pasta and everyone. Yeah, >> that has to be the stars.
>> It has to be the stars. They get everywhere. Oh my gosh.
>> Yeah, cuz they're kind of like they're almost like rice gumpy. They're all on the bottom of my slippers. They're like Anyway, >> my husband thinks it's funny. Like we bits in the UK, he's like all the kids eat weabicks, but it's like the worst thing possible because it gets stuck to the bowl.
>> Oh yeah. Oh, you have to soak it immediately. Immediately.
>> Immediately.
>> Weabix is like trending >> like online >> really >> as a British person. How amazing is that?
>> That's fantastic.
>> Thinking of a real I could do about Weabix.
>> Yes.
>> There's this content creator called Courtney Cook and she like eats Weabix.
She's American. She like really is fascinated by British culture and she like bought Weabix and shows it in her video and now Weaberix is going viral.
And like I I keep getting tagged in it cuz I always eat Weabix.
>> You do always eat I always eat Weick. I love. So I'm like, I wait having it moment. People keep tagging in it going, "Actually, Caroline, I found >> she's done this for ages."
>> I'm like, "Who knew We trending." Yeah.
>> Yeah. There you go. Find find content.
>> That's not my cereal. That's not my breakfast.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> No.
>> Yeah. But yeah. Right. My uh Don't touch it is always about my husband.
>> So my husband's got a new thing at the moment which he really likes.
>> Okay.
men and hobbies. It's been a a reoccurring thing on this um series about how annoying it is that men have hobbies because women don't have them.
My husband currently, it's not really a hobby, it's more of a just a thing. He's got this board that he lays down and it's got spikes on it.
>> Like a prana mat like a that you lie on.
>> Yeah, you lay on it.
>> Yeah, I've got one.
>> Have you?
>> Yeah.
>> I come down >> I come down in after putting the kids to bed or whatever >> and he's on it. Kyle is just in his underwear lying on this mat bulked straight completely still. And I'm like, "You're all right.
>> Hey, >> hey." And he's like, "Oh, God. Yeah, I'm just doing my back." And I'm like, "Oh, I'll go clean the kitchen."
>> Oh, hang on. He's got his mat out before everything's sorted.
>> Sometimes, yes, sometimes. No. But it's all >> And that's your ick. You don't like You don't like it? No.
>> What don't you like about it?
>> Just all of it. It's seeing him. It's sing that. Yeah, I get that. That being like, no, >> don't do that.
>> Don't. No, I didn't lie on it in my on my on my pants.
>> In my pants.
>> In my pants.
>> Do you enjoy it, though?
>> I didn't do it. I've literally done it three times cuz I don't have time to to lay to lay down lay down because it wouldn't occur to me.
>> I'm doing the kitchen, Kyle.
>> I'm loading the [ __ ] dishwasher.
>> Um, yeah, they are quite good though, you know.
>> Is it? He has the one that even has the neck.
Got it.
>> So, he does the back and the neck.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> It looks I don't know why I'm not one of those people.
>> It's really painful.
>> Yeah. At first and then but then your body kind of I only do it cuz my I've got the worst back. So, I try and find anything that Well, there you go.
>> Cut him some slack. God, >> he's trying to fix his back.
>> He does. He does all the bits for his back. It's just annoying. It's just an ick. Like, why can't you do it upstairs in the bedroom?
>> It's definitely a bedroom. It's a bedroom activity. And he's there in the in the living room.
>> No. In your pants. No. No.
>> Right. So, we'd have some viewer ones.
People have write in and they do theirs and we essentially just react to them.
>> Fantastic.
>> Yeah.
>> Okay. I feel like this is way too common. I don't really agree with it, but after after I gave birth, I kept having a lot of people commenting on my body. Not in a nasty way, normally quite positive. You look great. Oh, you'll bounce back. I know what they mean and it means well, but my body had just done something amazing and I just don't think I need to be thinking about bouncing back. Don't touch my body.
>> Yeah.
>> Did you get that?
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah. I also think I gave birth, my first was when I was 30.
>> I was really nervous like seeing online.
I'm like, I'm not going to bounce back like a 21-year-old. I guess it goes back to the eye cream, people selling stuff like >> Yeah. Yeah.
>> It's really hard. It's really hard.
Also, I think >> just don't comment on people's bodies, right? Just don't I don't ever really comment. I say like you look beautiful >> or like your hair.
>> Oh god. Yeah. Like your hair, like your skin. M >> oh wow what you're wearing. But I would never unless again I'm close with them.
>> I don't even think no even even my girls I wouldn't comment on their figures.
They might bring up something about their figure and then I'll be like oh so you want to talk about your figure then then I >> open the conversation for them.
>> But I just think no like also I don't walk around commenting on men's bodies ever. Like >> you would never put your mind. I just think it's And also I I remember when I had Joanie this time like I was really lucky and I'm going to be a wanker and say it but like I I did get my figure back quite quickly after um ETA. Not that I was, you know, but I remember someone commenting when I had Joanie.
I'd been sent this really lovely actware and I was so appreciative. It was a mama act. I can't remember the brand. I'm so sorry. But it was this it was lovely.
like had the sports bras you could take off for breastfeeding. It was really great >> and I was like and I really and it was a woman brand and I really wanted to champion her and and so I put a post up with me in a picture of it and and the amount of women that were like I think it's really unfair that you've posted this. Yeah. Like so your body looks like that and you've just had a baby. Like I'm like this is so unkind.
>> I'm just existing.
>> This is horrible. And also I actually personally you don't know how I feel about my body. I was actually really insecure after Joanie about my body cuz it did change. Like >> I I think just commenting on bodies full stop is just a no no for me. Just don't.
>> If that was me, I would actually naturally I think distance myself from that friendship.
>> Like if people are constantly saying things I'm like that's draining.
>> Or say just say please don't comment on my body. I really don't I don't like it.
>> Yeah, I agree. It's tough. I think women only do it to each other which is really sad.
>> It is really sad. It is really sad. Do better, ladies.
>> Right. This happens every time I go to the toilet on my own.
>> I already know where this is going.
Which already means I'm feeling optimistic.
>> I sit down and like clockwork, I hear my children start talking to me from outside the door. Not crying or anything, just fancying a chat.
>> Keeping me company, I guess. Don't take advantage of the next time you pee in peace.
>> Do you pee in peace?
>> Uh, not really. I don't do anything really in No, I don't. No, I definitely don't pee in peace. We've got a downstairs little cubby toilet.
>> And I have to keep the door open if Joany's around and I need it and she's toddling back and forth and like I'm like, "No, fingers fingers door."
>> Don't take the toilet roll.
>> No. No.
>> I think if it's a weekend as a treat, me and Griff might tag team a toilet. Oh, >> like maybe. And just be like, "You watch the kids. I'll go and sit on the toilet and have a wee and do a bit of a scroll for like >> scroll. little girl.
>> But apart from that, no. No. And I don't even think about it to be honest. I really don't.
>> No. I think it's just become >> I don't go I hold my wei in because I don't often have time to go for a wee.
>> Until I'm like, I'm going to sneeze and wet myself unless I go for a wee. Now, >> like I'll come home and I'll be like, oh gosh, I really need a wee. Oh, I got to school.
>> An hour later. And I'll be like, I'll do the school run first.
>> That's probably really bad for you.
>> Or really good for pelvic floor. M >> but probably bad for the the bladder.
Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Yeah.
>> Um Okay. I walk my dog with big headphones on like very visible ear overear ones.
>> I'm dyslexic. I read that complete. I I read that as ear over overear ones. And every time someone's tries to talk to me, I can't hear you. That's the point.
I'm wearing them so I don't have to talk to anyone.
>> Oh, bold and strong that is, isn't it?
I've got big overear headphones. I've got them with me today. But I You wear them?
>> I wear them all the time.
>> Yeah. Well, to How do you listen to your pop? They're my earphones.
>> But do you wear them at home?
>> In the house?
>> Yeah.
>> No. No.
>> No. When I'm like taking the trip. What?
>> Yeah. Some people do. Do you not see Oh, maybe it's a lie. What do you mean?
>> It's all a lie. Do you ever see like Tik Toks or Instagrams of people cleaning their house and they put their headphones on and then they start cleaning?
>> What?
>> Yeah. I could never be paranoid cuz someone might Yeah. or something smashed down the Yeah. No, >> absolutely not. And when I've got these big old headphones on, I've still got half of one off just in case someone's like, "Stop, duck," I'd be like, "Oh god." Carla uh was the target of an attack because she was the only one that didn't hear >> that. Like honestly, this is the kind of [ __ ] that would go through my head to Harry Styles.
>> She was listening to Harry Styles >> before he had progressed.
>> What a lucky boy.
Um, yeah. I don't wear headphones >> ever. What about if you're editing?
Like, no.
>> No.
>> No.
>> I'll wear headphones. Actually, car bought me some for Christmas. Um, I'll wear them on the train. That's about it.
I don't have like >> Yeah, that's when I wear headphones.
Only if I'm going on a train or >> sometimes, well, because I still need to sit in ETA's room sometimes for her to sleep if she's had a nightmare. So, I'll do my editing on a cushion in her room with my headphones on.
>> Oh, wow.
>> Because she just wants me in there, which is obviously parent fail.
>> Wonder is this is nearly 8-year-old. If she was on me, I'd be really failing. Like, that would be terrible. No, she's in bed. She just wants me to sit with her for a bit if she's She thinks there's monsters everywhere in her bedroom. And bless.
>> I think the the nightmares thing is really sad. It does get old very quick because it's frustrating for you wanting to sleep or work or have time to yourself. But it's I didn't realize how common it was.
>> Like >> do yours get >> actually Olivia might the 2-year-old starting to get them.
>> Yes. Yeah. That's really Yeah.
>> Cuz there was a black fly in the, you know, the big massive ones was in the living room a couple of weeks ago and she was so scared of it and then she had a nightmare the other day and she was holding on to the side of her bed like quivering going um fly fly. Yeah. And I was picking up and honestly, you know, when you pick them up and they sort of like crawl up your shoulder, it was like it was so sad.
>> Well, the really sad thing that I read about the nightmare thing is that they can't at the because of the age they are, they don't know it's a dream. So, they think it's real life. They don't know what a dream is yet. So, they think it's an extension. That's why when I go in when Joanie has one, she goes, "No, mommy. No, no." Cuz she I'm obviously become part of this dream. And she's like, "No, go away. No." Oh my god.
>> Awful cry. It's so sad.
>> It's awful.
>> It's so sad.
>> Yeah.
>> Um Yeah. The nightmares why Charlie gets into bed out to the morning. I mean, he is like an absolute lump. He's a log.
He's out.
>> So if he ever >> That's what I dream of.
>> Yeah, he's our middle. It's our two girls. Maybe it's a girl thing.
>> Maybe our boy is out like a light. Which is funny cuz he had reflux as a child and he was the worst. He was up every 2 hours up until he was about three and then he's turned corner.
>> This is an instance where I don't mind if a kid sleeps and I get told about a kid sleeping because you've gone through the [ __ ] >> Like it's not like he was born and was an angel. Like you had your you've earned your stripes.
>> Did my time.
>> Yeah.
>> We used to have like a joke on my Instagram stories be like the 3:00 a.m.
club.
>> So I'd like post like anyone else awake and we'd all be like >> but that's so lovely as like that. So >> it was like our little community.
>> Yeah. I think that's one of the nice things about social media.
>> Definitely. Definitely. It's not feeling alone. Like if ever I've had like a mini meltdown and I've put it on like going, "This has been so hard." People like, "We're with you. We see you. We're there."
>> I think it's nice about a generation.
It's also our worst about generation is being able to talk just like even like this. Yeah.
>> Like someone watching this and like being open about it. I think it's really nice. Anyway, we finished.
>> Yeah.
>> Anyway, it's so nice. Yeah. Anyway, that's it.
>> Anyway, that's it. Okay.
It's so lovely.
>> Did you enjoy that?
>> I really liked it. I just felt I was chatting.
>> Don't know what I was saying really.
>> Yeah.
>> Thank you so much everyone for listening and see you guys next week. I absolutely love it when you guys write in. It just really lifts our episodes. I love hearing your stories, your icks, your irks, all your little dilemas. And if you would like to write in, it is don't touch it at cararolineparker.com. Or you could just leave a comment below. Bye guys. See you next week.
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