HARSH TRUTHS ABOUT MEN THAT WOMEN LEARN TOO LATE

Added: 2026-06-02

[00:00:00]You won't really get far with women by respecting them.

[00:00:03]>> Yeah, you won't get far. You see, all of those things of sitting down to discuss it and talk it out and have an understanding and an apologize and let her know everything you're doing. Let her know where you are going, let her know how much you make. Give her everything she wants.

[00:00:22]>> You will find out at the end of the day that some guy who doesn't do [ __ ] >> is her.

[00:00:30]You'll find out that some random guy who does not do any of those stuff is >> Don't worry, disagree with me all you want, but after 3 months, you'll be back watching this video.

[00:00:42]>> Coming from a performative nice guy, he said you won't get far with women. What does that really mean? Did he mean getting into their panties, or did he mean building a family with them? Of course, we all know the obvious answer.

[00:00:54]Some men are nice to women not because they genuinely care about them but because they want to have sex with them.

[00:01:01]The nice guy is a strategy for some guys too. For many men, the primary goal is sex, and neness becomes a means to an end rather than an expression of genuine interest. When he spoke about guys who don't do [ __ ] yet sleep with her, it gave me a much clearer picture of the dynamics he's describing. What he described sounds less like a discussion about a healthy relationship but more like the classic nice guy friend zone relationship kind of a thing or should I call it situationship. I understand that some women out there also cheat but women rarely leave men that they like and are treating them well. So the nice guy looking around a girl of his interest. However, it often looks like the main guy is getting all the benefits with minimal effort. From his own perspective, he's doing everything right but getting nothing in return, while another man appears to be succeeding without following the same script. They speak out of frustration. Example, the video we just watched. The statement he made is typical of the male best friend kind of setup. Men that choose to be best friends or remain best friends with a woman that is actively dating another man. Their resentment is often directed at the boyfriend, they usually have this underneath belief that their neness should also end them a chance with the girl. This belief raises an interesting question. What percentage of men are genuinely friends with women without quietly waiting for an opportunity to present itself so they can sleep with them? This might also apply to women doing all them bestie kind of a thing.

[00:02:44]But you know on this channel we talk about what men do. Let's quickly have a look at how people reacted to what he said. We had a lot of men reacting excited because they're kind told them exactly how to play the game. Also in the comment section we had women responding. So let's have a look. That's exactly what I told my babe. I don't want to do relationship again. date that guy you're going to meet and still let us be effing with two condom. Imagine.

[00:03:10]So this guy is claiming that the girlfriend is dating him. He's claiming to be the main guy and the girlfriend has a side guy. He's tired of that dynamics saying she should still have the side guy while she comes back to sleep with him with double CD, which means he truly doesn't care about her.

[00:03:24]It's all about the sex. I don't want us to debate on this. I know the lady has her own fault, but right now I'm just focusing on her. The best thing is to be a side guy. I don't want to be the main guy. Again, still talking about the side guy, the main guy. It's all about sex or majority of them. So many men out there are actively dating so they can constantly have access to a woman's body. Imagine being in a relationship with someone that would tell you, "Go out there and cheat and then come back to me so we can sleep together with double condom." Best believe that man has someone else he's cheating on you with as well. But this is someone responding. It's funny when you're young. A time is around the corner and you will never heal from your own past.

[00:04:07]That's the truth. Right now they think is the game. They play the game. They play the field. A time will come in the future where you will have to face the repercussion of your actions. You think piling up body counts is the way to go.

[00:04:21]No, there's always a consequence for that. You might not be facing it right now, but sometime in the nearest future.

[00:04:28]If you guys are meeting the wrong girls, stop generalizing it. It happened to me does not mean it will happen to you.

[00:04:35]These next comments are coming from women now. Wow, too many broken people out there. That's why I run from people.

[00:04:42]This is part of the reason why my mother really suffered in her life with my father. Or wait, let me give you guys a better option. Why don't you all just start dating men? It's not a bad thing to date your gender. Leave us alone.

[00:04:55]Don't date us. Date your fellow men so you don't have to go through all this stress. But we know men will not heed to this advice. A lot of them even if they are gay, they want to date women just to prove to their fellow men that they're not gay. I don't know why they're hiding that. Why the society is not accepting them for who they are. It is a confusing situation.

[00:05:16]>> Women do not respect men that respect them. If you want women to respect you and admire you, you have to disrespect them. If you're nice and considerate and put in tons of effort, you will be invisible. They will step on you.

[00:05:30]They'll never desire you. What? Uh-uh.

[00:05:35]Uh-uh.

[00:05:37]Uh-uh.

[00:05:39]Did y'all know that this logic is keeping a lot of you single? This doesn't make any sense. If you want a woman to respect you, you need to show her respect. You know what I'm saying?

[00:05:50]Being nice to her, showing her kindness, showing her respect is how you get her to be interested in you. The quickest way to repel a woman is by being disrespectful. Okay, it is mind-boggling to me that there are men who really believe you have to treat women poorly just to get them to want you. Like, that that is crazy. At this point, I feel like y'all are intentionally pushing women away. Like, y'all are enjoying being lonely.

[00:06:18]>> Why aren't I getting success with women?

[00:06:20]Why do they all get turned off by this?

[00:06:21]You know, I'm giving. I'm polite. I'm generous. Why is it backfiring? Because most guys have been sold this lie that uh being generous towards women, being giving towards women, being polite towards women equals attraction. And it doesn't. However, enforcing your boundary, drawing a line in the sand, letting the girl know what you accept, what what you don't accept, that's what creates attraction. This is something that you will never ever see in a movie.

[00:06:46]This is something that they will never ever ever ever show you on television.

[00:06:49]Even though it's the truth. Why? Because it disempowers women. Anything that disempowers women, they're never going to show you on television. Anything that empowers them, even though 99.9% of it based on BS that will never help you, that will kill her attraction for you.

[00:07:03]Oh, they'll make movies around that all day long. All day long. And then you dummies will watch these movies and then believe it. You'll believe it. And then you'll go out there on these dates and then you'll try to do it. Really watch your behaviors around women you like, women you date, and ask yourself, even with these little micro behaviors, is this validating her? Am I validating her on in some way, shape, or form, even subconsciously? Ask yourself that. And when you identify it, don't do it.

[00:07:34]>> The way that you treat women shows who you are as a person, as a man. If you don't respect women, you don't respect anybody.

[00:07:43]>> That's a damn bar. I know. That's right.

[00:07:45]That's true.

[00:07:46]>> Seriously though, really does say a lot about a man, how he even just speaks about women.

[00:07:51]>> Black women, listen to me. They never going to stop treating you wrong. They never going to stop looking at y'all as a sexual object. They going to lie. They going to cheat. And they going to take you through a whole bunch of stress, right? And then say, "Hey, you supposed to be the ride or die. You supposed to go through this cuz if you really love me, listen, men want to make y'all suffer." That's just the god honest truth.

[00:08:10]I don't know what to tell y'all anymore.

[00:08:12]I've been having conversations with men for two to three years in this space.

[00:08:16]You hear the things they say, you see the stuff playing out in real life, they don't give a damn. They're never going to stop treating you bad. They're never going to evolve. They're never going to be better as a collective group because they don't give a damn. Even the men in these space on on Tik Tok, YouTube, all these places, right? The things in which come out their mouth, they portray themselves to be a good man and then be the exact same pookies and Ray Ray that they tell y'all to avoid. But they be the pookies and ray rays. You know what I'm saying? They don't give a damn.

[00:08:45]They're never going to change. They never gonna get their act together. I can't even truly, you know what I'm saying, promote marriage right now because [ __ ] going to cheat. And then say, "Hey, it was a mistake. Cheat ain't a mistake. That's a choice."

[00:09:03]I I don't like What is it going to take?

[00:09:06]Women, you better off single. Y'all happy when y'all single anyway.

[00:09:09]I can't tell. I can't I'm not about to be no no male advocate. I can't advocate for these men because these men are trash. [ __ ] ain't [ __ ] right now in in in today's time. [ __ ] Maybe maybe ever.

[00:09:24]But I cannot sit up here as a married man and say, "Hey, you know, I need to advocate for No, it's better it if if possible remain single." You know what I'm saying? Y'all need, you know, enter relationships at your own risk, fam. Enter relationships at your own risk.

[00:09:40]Because I can't advocate for men and say, "Oh, you know, it's good men out there." I I don't know where they at. I ain't going to lie to you. And then, you know, all that woman's intuition and all that all that stuff. Listen, though, it may be some truth in it. You can only discern so much.

[00:09:57]You don't know it all. So, you're going to get finessed.

[00:10:01]Some of y'all have been finessed.

[00:10:05]And there are protections in marriage, but even that can fail because I don't believe most men are built to be faithful and true. This this this right here, this loyalty, this marriage stuff, that's for that's for the real [ __ ] And a lot of [ __ ] ain't real.

[00:10:22]But then they want to have their cake and eat it too. And then if they cheat, they say it was just a mistake. Women should forgive.

[00:10:30]Listen, men not going to stop cheating.

[00:10:31]Men not going to stop using y'all for your box. Men not going to stop treating you wrong.

[00:10:36]Your best bet is to probably stay single.

[00:10:38]>> Let's discuss the two main points I got from these videos. Women love men that have boundaries and they find them to be very attractive. What exactly does a man with boundaries mean to a woman? When a man has boundaries, he signals that he knows his worth. And women find that to be very attractive because it shows he respects himself and can respect others.

[00:11:03]Having a boundary suggests that a man is emotionally mature. He is stable and not easily swayed. Women often feel safer and connected to a man who can communicate his needs clearly. Plus, a man with boundaries isn't chasing approval. He is looking to get connected. And women love building connection. So for men that have boundaries, that balance between them caring and being independent tends to foster more authentic attraction. The second point they touched on is the manipulative aspect. Men understand the game of emotional unprecability.

[00:11:40]Emotional unprecability taps into the aspect of psychology called intermittent reinforcement. It's about when rewards like affection appear randomly, the brain gets hooked trying to win it back and this pattern activates dopamindriven reward pathway. In relationships, when a man alternates between respect and disrespect, that inconsistency creates an emotional whiplash. The person on the receiving end, which is always women, tries harder and mistaking the beliefs of highs for love. I mean high emotions.

[00:12:18]The emotions you get from anticipating the next time he's going to treat you right. But over time, this erodess a woman's self-esteem. This type of manipulation traps women into emotional loop. Men and manipulation are like five and six. Ladies, as a reminder, men hate women who understand patterns. Men hate women who are good at pattern recognition. Understand that men operate in a realm of safety and stability. If a man is a hard worker and is always on grind time, he is going to be that hardworking man no matter what. If a man operates in safety and stability, he doesn't venture out and does anything exciting, he's always going to be a man.

[00:12:53]If the man is the super eccentric and a super exciting type man, he's always that. If the man is the cheater, he's typically always that. Now, can people change? Absolutely. People can always change. But understand, it is rare when men just randomly venture out. When men venture out constantly, especially when it involves women, it's typically they're putting on a a ruse, a facade, they're faking it. Women operate in their emotions a lot when it comes to things. So, this is why the these things lead women to be more eccentric, more going after life. Oh, you know what? I just feel like I want to go do do this and do that. And you see that they're more they experience life in a more vibrant way than us men do. So ladies, when you are super educated and you are super out there, this is why the this pushes men away for so much because they then recognize that you will catch on to their game. You will catch on to the ruse. You will catch on to the facade super quickly. I was watching an episode of Pop the Balloon and this woman, she was wellraveled, well educated, very beautiful. Everything was 10 out of 10.

[00:13:56]But everybody kept popping on her. My wife asked why. I looked at her and I heard her talk and I heard them talk and I said, "She's too put together." And she was like, "What do you mean?" I said, "She's way too put together. She's too put together. She's too educated.

[00:14:09]She will catch on to their [ __ ] extremely quickly." Very beautiful black woman who had absolutely every single thing together. Checked off all the boxes. But at the very end, when they was like, "Well, what's the reason?"

[00:14:20]Well, you know, it just you seem like it's like two together. Men love women that they have something over. Men love women that they can get over on. Is it all? No. But is it a lot? Absolutely.

[00:14:31]Y'all, you know what men don't realize is that women notice every single change that like they do. Like we notice that y'all have a pattern when it comes to communicating with us. So, for example, okay, like texting patterns, calling patterns, this that and the third. My friend, she's dating this guy, right?

[00:14:48]And whenever they like hang out, he would always send her a black truck. So all of a sudden he sends her a band to pick her up and she called me and she's like, "Girl, something is wrong." You know what I mean? But like to the normal like out normal man or just anyone on the outside, they'll probably be like, "Girl, there's still a car. It's still a car." No, the man always sends a black truck. So this band is like something is uh like something is weird. Lo and behold, couple days later, he was acting weird.

[00:15:22]So it's like we notice every little thing. Like no matter how little a man can literally respond with a period. I'm like, "Oh man, something is wrong. He does not text." Like do you know what I mean?

[00:15:31]That's how girls are. And we know we know, right? One day my old man texted me a unicorn emoji for the first time.

[00:15:40]Then I knew he was texting a [ __ ] Crazy how you notice every little thing the man does, but don't realize what you've done for him to change. and understand if the man thinks he's inadequate, why isn't he recognizing that? And why isn't he making initiatives working towards changing?

[00:16:01]Who said is a woman's responsibility to fix a man, to change a man, to make a man become a better version of himself, to make a man develop himself? This comment was left by a man. Obviously, sometimes that God intuition everyone talks about is just pattern recognition.

[00:16:18]We notice deviations. Yeah, that's right. I'm not sure about the intuition being pattern recognition. Although she said sometimes men have patterns. Even we women, we do have patterns. But if you truly want to understand the man you're with, you need to pay close attention. It's just a matter of time you're going to figure out what his patterns are. And then when they tell you you're overthinking, nine times out of 10, you're not. That's true. Men use this word, oh, you're thinking too much.

[00:16:46]you overthinking just to dismiss whatever you're focusing on or whatever issue you're trying to raise at that given point in time. How come you barely notice when a man is not happy? This is a man trying to blame women. Oh, we're talking about pattern recognition. Why aren't we talking about, oh, he's a sad man, sad? Why is he not sad? If he feels unhappy, what is stopping him from speaking up? literally had a dream of him leaving me for another girl and he denied that it would happen. Guess what the hell he did a few days later. I guess he left you for that same girl.

[00:17:22]Some men will call a loyal woman crazy the moment she starts seeing the pattern. And you got to think about this. When a man calls you crazy for seeing his patterns, trust me, it's not because you're wrong. It's because you're waking up. And his goal is to keep you asleep. Because think about it.

[00:17:38]How many times have you brought up an issue calmly? Even your tone was soft and somehow right after that conversation, the whole thing got flipped on you instead of addressing his behavior. How many times have you pointed out that something didn't add up? And what did he tell you? You just overthinking. You crazy. You just making [ __ ] up. You just love starting a fight instead of what? Addressing the pattern.

[00:18:05]And sweetheart, that's not confusion.

[00:18:07]That's deflection. Pay attention because the moment you start connecting the dots, all of a sudden he feels exposed.

[00:18:15]When you stop expecting halfass answers, now he's starting to feel the pressure.

[00:18:20]But here's the thing. Instead of him stepping up, his new strategy is to shrink your confidence. And if he can make you doubt your instincts, doubt your memory, and your reactions long enough, then he doesn't have to change.

[00:18:34]You'll do all the changing for him because now you'll start to question yourself replaying conversations on loops. You'll start to wonder if you're imagining things. You'll even start to ask yourself, are you being too sensitive? Are you just making [ __ ] up?

[00:18:48]What's wrong with you? You will find 21 things that's wrong with you. Meanwhile, his pattern remains the same. So remember this. A man who calls you crazy for noticing a pattern repetition, he's not shocked by your accuracy. He's threatened by it. Because once you trust your own awareness, you stop arguing.

[00:19:08]And when you stop arguing, when you don't have any negative emotions clouding your judgment, you start making decisions you should have made a long time ago. I can't lie. You're not wrong.

[00:19:19]And here's why. A woman with discernment will hold a man accountable. She'll challenge him. She'll refine him. And she respects the truth. Weak men will see that as a threat, and they don't see it as an act of love. And what this will do is this will put men in a position where they're intimidated because now this is forcing the man to become better. And that's intimidating. It's out of the comfort zone. And there's a lot of men that are still ruled by their flesh. Meaning that they're going to choose what feels good over what is good. Finally, a lot of men can't even perceive what a woman with discernment even is cuz they're lacking it themselves. They're spiritually blind.

[00:19:51]They can't even see it. And the reason I say it's an underrated quality is because it doesn't come with loud packaging. And I repeat, the only men that are going to be able to see this quality is the men that have done inner work. They've built a relationship with God and they prioritize their personal development over everything.

[00:20:06]>> I hate when a [ __ ] be like, "Oh, you act like a [ __ ] You acting like a [ __ ] What you think? You you ain't no [ __ ] You a female." I know I'm a female. But see the thing is you mad because I know the game. Like dude on the phone with me today, he like, "See that's your problem. That's your problem. You just too you you just you need to understand that you a woman. You a woman. See, you be hanging out with your brothers and them. They said that you act like your brothers. That's your problem. That ain't my fault. That ain't my fault that I hung out with my brothers and I know the game. You know what I'm saying? I I hung out with my daddy them and I know the game. You feel me? Like he's like, "See, that's your problem. You think you slick." I said, "No, [ __ ] I don't think I slick. I know I'm slick." He talking about some No, you don't. I said, "Nigga, I had you fallen and I had a whole another [ __ ] on the side. [ __ ] I'm slicker than Rick. He talking about some [ __ ] you ain't nothing." I said, "Nigga, you must not know who my daddy be.

[00:20:53]You must not know who my daddy be. That [ __ ] slick. That's where I get it from.

[00:20:58]Like, yeah, you going to get mad at me.

[00:20:59]I learned from the best. Men hate women who understand patterns. Men hate women who are good at pattern recognition.

[00:21:07]They find comfort in sticking to familiar patterns, routines, predictability, and known rules. This can make them sometimes seem more mundane than women when compared to women who tend to be more expressive and flexible in emotional intelligence. Now when a man or when some men encounter women who are good at pattern recognition who are able to spot emotional games or routines, it can feel threatening to them. Such women see through the facads and suddenly the man's predictability is laid bare.

[00:21:42]Rather than men adapting or deepening connection with women, they respond with frustration towards women who are put together. The truth is is not the pattern recognition that is the problem.

[00:21:54]It is the discomfort of being seen too clearly challenging their predictability comfort. In a healthy relationship, when men and women break out of their patterns and embrace their mutual awareness, it opens door to more authentic connection. Instead of them relying on old dynamics, they can both grow together. But a lot of men are not interested in that. They don't want to build connection. The type of men who dislike women with pattern recognition often feel insecure with losing control.

[00:22:25]These men may rely on traditional rules or subtle manipulation to maintain upper hand. When they get confronted with women who see their tactics, it challenges their dominance. In reality, this discomfort does not come from the woman's capability, but from their own fear of being fully known, fully exposed. Because when their game is exposed, the relationship either deepen or dissolve. For some men who understand that smart women can easily recognize patterns gravitate towards partners that they perceive are less likely to see through them. Such men repel smart pattern aare women because their insights can ruin their usual playbook.

[00:23:09]So the fear of being figured out push these men to avoid women who they believe will challenge them. So they choose relationships where they can maintain the predictable upper hand.

[00:23:22]>> You can find love with somebody that's broke. You can find somebody that But I think that men are more um intimidated by women that got their stuff together.

[00:23:30]>> Why is that?

[00:23:33]>> That's um I think I think because um men are used to being providers.

[00:23:42]>> Men are used to being you know depended on. So when a woman has her stuff together, it feels like what is his purpose in her life? But there's way more purposes than than just that. But to the average man, that's if a man feels like he has money, right?

[00:23:58]Cuz like I said earlier, women protect their body, men protect their money.

[00:24:03]>> So if a man feels like the only thing he has is money, and you already got that, then what is what is what is he providing? It's funny because hearing you say that makes me understand why a specific relationship in my life did not work out. It is though because I dated a guy who literally said to me, he was like, "You're you're not typically my type."

[00:24:23]And I was like, "Well, what is your type?" He was like, "The girls that I have to bring up and the girls that don't have it together, so me, I'm like, "You damn near met your match. Like, anything that you're able to give me, I'm able to give you, too." So, it was like a all right, but I'm supposed to be this guy for you. and like how are you able to do this for me too? It was almost like a culture shock for him but it didn't work.

[00:24:44]>> But I feel like um men do a fix her up all the time. Men get women down the street. Men get a crackhead and next thing you know the crackhead is whacking Louis bag. How do you you don't have an education? How can you even afford all that? Cuz a man put me there. So women get that you know they get it because men is fix all the time. Like and you would see women working hard and she's still in a hood. Why? Because she don't have a fixer up. But you get what I'm saying? It's nothing wrong with that.

[00:25:15]Men do it all the time. So why can't women do it? And all this problem kind of really happen in America. A lot of women can follow man cuz they live in America. The way the system is like a lot of women if you really want to get married just go under like go just go to Haiti like an underdeveloped country like go to Jamaica, go to Trinidad.

[00:25:33]You'll find a good man. Give her a background. Give him a background check.

[00:25:38]Make sure make sure he's not sick. Most likely he's not going to be sick cuz they eat good down there and you bring them up here in New York or in America and you make sure like you know you give them a house. You check that credit. You build that credit up a house and a car and all that going to be fine. And these men going to be loyal to you cuz they are good men. Sometimes they leave you a lot of >> okay they're going to need you.

[00:26:00]I can't within 5 to 10 years and within that time you go back and do what you did before like what's wrong with that husband number two.

[00:26:11]>> Wait wait wait. So that's the thing >> men don't like smart women that have a backbone. They like the ones they could keep lying to and still smash. Some men do not want a woman that stands her ground and talks her [ __ ] They want a gullible stupid emotional support dummy.

[00:26:25]Men that dislike women with the backbone only exposes the fact that they're not man enough to handle her. A woman that stands her ground feels like disrespect to a weak man. If he calls you hard to deal with, he's just mad you're not easy to manipulate. He likes you stupid and not smart. That way, he can go cheat in peace. Men say they want a strong woman until that strong woman is strong enough to leave his ass. If he calls you too much or hard to deal with, it's because the title of boooo the fool has already been taken by another dumb [ __ ] Some men only fall in love with a woman that doesn't own a brain cell. He doesn't want a queen. He wants a clown that keeps running back to the motherucking circus like a dummy. Dad ass. They're right. It's true that the fixer narrative often plays out in one direction. It is usually tied to cultural expectations. Historically, women are socialized to nurture and support while men are often framed as providers. So, some men try to fix because the society tells them that their value is tied to providing or shaping. On the flip side, women have been encouraged to seek stability.

[00:27:34]Remember, these patterns aren't rules.

[00:27:37]We have some women out there fixing men.

[00:27:39]I would never advise a woman to fix a man. If you must fix a man, make sure you have the good man, the kind man.

[00:27:47]I've heard numerous stories of women that fixed men and they got dumped at the end of the day. They got cheated on at the end of the day. To some men, it often comes down to feelings of wounded pride or fragile sense of identity. When someone feels saved or built up, they may wrestle with gratitude versus shame.

[00:28:08]For some men, once they feel restored, they want to reclaim their sense of independence. And if they never fully dealt with their own selfworth, they may subconsciously associate that woman that rescued them with period of their weakness. This is called the nurse and purse syndrome or a builder's remorse dynamic. Some men want to be the hero to a woman. They want to be the ones saving the dancel in distress, not a woman saving them. even when they are obviously in need of being saved. When a man's ego or sense of masculinity is tied to being the hero or the provider, that man might struggle with gratitude when someone else plays that role for him. It's not about happiness. It's about them feeling restored to a role that they think defines them. So instead of them appreciating the woman that helped them, they will be out there seeking a dynamic where they can feel like a rescuer again. So as a woman before you think about fixing a man you need to understand the kind of person the man is. I mean you need to have a deeper understanding of the kind of person that man is. The opening video clip was about a nice guy that got rejected even though he did not put it that way. So, I went to Reddit with a mind of expanding that conversation because if you go through the video or if you've watched the video up to this point, you should have or you must have noticed that I didn't speak much on the nice guy. So, I would love to expand the conversation on the nice guy. So, I went to Reddit to see if they had a conversation on the nice guy thing. And yeah, I found two different posts. So, I'm going to read this one says, "How do you stop being the nice guy or get rid of the nice guy syndrome?" This one responded saying, "Gain the courage to be disliked. Decide what you stand for.

[00:30:01]Making that decision will alienate people, and you have to be okay with that. Don't just bend over and agree with people for the potential prospect of sex." You see, a lot of men are being nice to women because they want to have access to their panties. I already said that. And it's nice to have a man talk about it. Yeah, he's actually confirming it because this is what most nice guys are all about. Have integrity, get a life, do things for your own sake, gain your own stories. Those will be the things that attract quality people, whether they be friends or lovers, into your life. I remember talking about women finding men that have boundaries attractive. The reason why a lot of women don't yield towards nice guys is because they don't want to be with men like that. Men that don't have discipline, men that lack boundaries.

[00:30:58]Being a nice guy means you have to be people pleaser. You have to yield to people's terms and conditions. You have to do things to please people. You put other people before you all the time.

[00:31:09]I'm not saying that you should not be humane, but putting people over your own needs, people's needs over your own need all the time is not a good way to live life. So, women don't want to be with men that don't have strong boundaries.

[00:31:23]Imagine you choosing a nice guy, choosing to date a nice guy, and then the both of you are out there and he has other women coming to him, throwing themselves at him, and he cannot set boundaries. So when you hear nice guys say women are not choosing them, they are just lurking around hoping that one day the great opportunity would come their way. They are not choosing them because of the fact that they don't have boundaries. Absolutely spot on. It's wild how freeing it is once you stop seeking validation from everyone around you. When you start living for yourself, you attract people who truly resonate with your genuine self. It's like leveling up in life. Suddenly, you're surrounded by individuals who appreciate and respect you for who you are, not who you're trying to be. Plus, the stories you gain from living authentically are way more interesting than you'd get from just going along with the crowd. A lot of those so-called nice guys are performing. They are not being their authentic self. Like I said, they are doing things to please people. They do things that they think might be what people want. Especially when it comes to women, they do things that they think might be what women want just to have access to women. Be nice because you want to, not because you want a reward.

[00:32:40]Exactly. Usually, any guy who says they are the nice guy is usually far from actually being the nice guy from my experience anyway. And the actual nice guys are pretty humble and don't have to parade around that they are the nice one. This second post really explained the whole nice guy concept and um it's quite a lengthy one but I'm going to read everything. The post started off by saying some clarification please. What exactly is a nice guy and why is it such a bad thing? So this person really wants to know. So this comment is lenty. So yeah let's get into it. I think that's part of it, but not the whole story.

[00:33:21]Generally, the phrase nice guy refers to a man who attempts to fulfill the traditional male gender role in his relationship with females. A nice guy does a lot of favors, pays for things, holds open doors, gives a lot of compliments, is always available to talk and listen, acts chiverous and protective, and never aggressive or forward. Generally, he does all these things because he believes that's what he's supposed to do and that's how he's been socialized. What this guy described is same as the very first video clip we watched. And there is an underlining expectation that by filling this role, he will have success with women because he thinks that's the kind of man that woman want. They are not doing it because they want to do it or they truly like you. you're doing it so they can have access to you. There are different stages of being a nice guy though and different ways that the nice guy mentality can manifest itself in external behavior. The first meaning is often self-applied. It refers to a guy who believes he is doing everything right as described above but still has poor results with his female relationships and maybe other aspects of his life. He is very confused and disheartened when he doesn't have any success despite believing he's doing everything the way he's supposed to.

[00:34:45]This is where the adage nice guys finish last comes from. The nice guy who tries to woo and win the affection of a woman he's interested in but is confused and disheartened when he sees the girl run off with the bad guy or the [ __ ] or the nice guy who works hard at his job, plays by the rules, doesn't step up on his toes, or caught any corner's etc., but then his coworker steals his idea and ends up getting all the credit for it and a promotion. After repeated experiences like this, the nice guy's confusion often turns into bitterness and resentment, exactly the first video we saw, especially towards females, which partly manifest itself in the second sub definition. So yeah, this is the second definition. Now he made reference to the second meaning which referred to as nice guys is based on a more female perspective of a bitter nice guy. A nice guy who has become resentful from his repeated failure and rejections will often complain about it since he believes he's done everything right. He thinks there must be a problem with girls for not wanting to be with him.

[00:35:56]This one sounds more like himself. He becomes outspoken in sharing his frustration with friends and people around him. This nice guy effectively ends up trying to shame girls for not liking him or for not reciprocating his affection. He tends to blame all girls in general for his problems. From the girl's perspective, this guy comes off as needy, controlling, and pretty obnoxious. Girls then become resentful in tone for being made to feel like they owe him something, especially if they perceive that something to be sex. And often that's what it is ultimately.

[00:36:30]Unfortunately, the nice guy sees his reaction from women and thinks it only serves to prove his point. So, it's kind of a bad and ongoing cycle in our society, especially with teenagers and young men. Most nice guys have ulterior motive. I'm not saying that we don't have guys out there that are genuinely nice. Of course, we do. But most of them have ulterior motive. Being the nice guy is a strategy for some guys. Yeah. Just like you having a guy that is not interested in being a Christian or maybe he's a passive Christian. He's not interested in going to church. All of a sudden, he's going to church. He's being consistent because he's interested in a particular church girl. Yeah. It's all performative. So the guy that is now going to church because he wants to woo a girl is performing pretending to be who he's not. Same goes with the nice guy. You know you don't like this person. You know all you want is sex.

[00:37:26]And then you've said to yourself you're willing to perform to act nice to be at her beck and core to serve her so you can eventually have the opportunity to sleep with her. Ladies, nice guys are very dangerous. I see the reason why women go after bad guys because you can tell who they are. You know they are bad. Deciding to be with them, you know what to expect. But with nice guys, they are very dangerous because you don't see them coming. It's hard to tell who they truly are. It's hard to tell what they are capable of because they mask their true identity with being nice. Don't get me wrong, this is not me in any way saying you should choose a bad guy, a guy that is dangerous, a guy that is part of a gang over a nerd, a simple looking guy. No, being a nerd, being a simple looking guy does not necessarily mean you're a nice guy. The nice guys I'm talking about, we all know them.

[00:38:15]We've all encountered them. And if you happen to encounter them, if you're yet to do so, just open up your eyes and be more observant. You will notice them.

[00:38:24]For the first guy, I mean, the first video clip I played where the guy was talking about how women don't deserve to be respected, how respecting a woman will make you lose her. That statement makes no sense. He's a nice guy that did not get what he wanted to get out of his niceness to a woman. He is obviously a frustrated nice guy that is hating on the active boyfriend of whoever he was interested in. Let me know your thoughts on this and I will see you all in the next one. Don't forget to like and subscribe. Thanks for your support.