Reporting My Daughter's Pediatrician For Sharing Her Medical Info To My Estranged Mother... AITA

Added: 2026-05-27

[00:00:00]First story is titled Am I a Hall for reporting my daughter's pediatrician for giving medical information to my mom without consent?

[00:00:08]To start, I female 35 have been in no contact with my mom for over a year for many things she did. My daughter is diabetic. She's four. I handle her treatment and I used to let mom handle babysitting since she wanted to.

[00:00:22]However, she started getting involved in my daughter's treatment. And there were incidents where she took away insulin from my daughter and lied about it till my husband found out. She has always been against the medical recommendations and tried to keep my daughter's treatment away from her. We stopped letting her babysit after my daughter went to the ER because of her. We went no contact for 2 months and my mom went nuts and turned everyone against us. CPS were then called on us by her. After my sister told me it was her, my husband ended up sending her a cease and desist letter, and a restraining order might be considered if she escalates. Now we're being careful. I took my daughter to a new doctor since she's suffering from lung problems. He's my friend's husband, but my friend recommended his practice.

[00:01:04]We really thought nothing of it. We've been visiting him for 3 weeks now, and we have no issues up until yesterday. A family member called to berate me for not telling them about my daughter's pneumonia and that her condition was worsening. I asked how they knew and they said my mom was visiting my daughter's doctor and he told her. I was in shock. They said she knew which practice it was via a friend of hers. I was livid. I went straight to my daughter's doctor and confronted him. He didn't react. He didn't even deny it. He confirmed my mom came at X time the next day and he gave her medical information about my daughter's condition. I lashed out at him and told him he shouldn't have done that. He said my mom was concerned about her granddaughter and just wanted to know about her condition.

[00:01:47]I let him know I will be reporting him for his violation. Then my friend defended him saying that I'm overreacting and needed to calm down. I insisted. Then I left. Our mutual friends heard about the argument and told me that my relationship with my friend of 10 years will be over if I report her husband. Said this is not the way to deal with it. But I just couldn't let this go. But they said I should just let my daughter be seen by another doctor and let this go.

[00:02:13]Now for the top comments, not ahal. Dear God, report him. That's a big HIPAA violation. He gave out a minor's private medical information to someone who was not listed on her documents as being okay to tell. It doesn't matter if grandma's worried. She's not on the list. Doesn't matter he's married to her friend. He violated HIPAA and huge code of ethics. Find a new doctor for her stat. Yes, I'm arranging for my daughter to see another doctor. Everyone is telling me to just stop taking my daughter to him and not try to cause damage to my relationship with my friend by insisting on reporting him. They mostly blamed my mom and me and said that I shouldn't get others involved in my family conflicts.

[00:02:57]Not Dehal. The doctor involved himself in family conflicts. Not you. Definitely report him. He needs to learn to not do this again. Holy Batman. NTA, NTA, NTA, NTA, NTA. HIBAA violations are a serious crime. Jail time and huge fines, not to include a loss of a license. Report the hell out of him. Do not give him another chance. Find a new doctor and fill them in immediately about who they are allowed to give information to. Yeah, especially because he was so nonchalant about it all and didn't apologize for the breach. He should have had his spidey sense tingle though. Like why is grandma asking me and not getting it from the parents? Not a hall. What makes this truly gregious is if this has been a friend of yours for 10 years presumably they're aware of the situation with your mother. Even saying the husband may not be aware, he shouldn't have given third party information. And when you confronted him, it seems like he was basically saying, "Yeah, so what? No big deal.

[00:03:58]That's why he needs to be reported."

[00:04:01]Now for the next story. Am I a-haul for not letting it go and still expecting an apology from my mother-in-law?

[00:04:08]Husband did I have a 10-month-old baby got sick at 2 months old. So I told everyone that we would be limiting contact and not allowing others to hold him for the time being. My mother-in-law lost her mind, claimed I was keeping her grandson from her and never let her hold him. She had held him several times in his two months of life and we had photo proof and basically cried a whole river to my husband over it and made me seem like a monster is out to get her. It caused a huge fight between me and my husband until he realized she was exaggerating and straight up lying. He contacted her and told her that me and him are a team. We won't budge on this.

[00:04:44]No one is to hold him until we deem it safe. And he called her out on her lies and told her she owes us an apology for the way she acted. her response, "Have a nice life." She didn't speak to us for 4 months straight. I reached out a few times about going by to get my husband's mail, obviously bringing a little one with me, and she'd either not respond or just say on mailbox and leave it at that. I would have had no issue letting her come to the car to see the baby, but she never asked, and I admittedly didn't push it because I was mad. She also turned his entire family against us. Not a single member of his family bothered to get our side of the story and just stopped speaking to us. No one reached out to ask how the baby was for 4 months. Suddenly, she sends a text that this is stupid. We need to move past this because she misses her son and her grandson, leaving me out of it, of course. Husband told her that he wants to move past it too, but we want an apology for how she reacted to us setting a simple boundary and needs to be addressed to me as well. She said that in no way will she apologize because she did nothing wrong and has nothing to apologize for. Husband told her in that case we can't move past it.

[00:05:54]She responded by threatening to sue us for grandparent rights for a child she has not tried to contact in 4 months and doesn't know her at all. Sister-in-law and an aunt-in-law both contacted us saying nasty things about how we are just using a baby as a pawn to make mother-in-law miserable. My significant other and I both agreed we wanted to go full no contact with his family, but we let them know we left a line of communication open via text if they decide to move forward with the GPR issue. It's been 4 months instead and mother-in-law occasionally sends holiday cards to little wanted husband and purposely leaves me out of them, but otherwise none of them have tried to contact us. My entire issue is that even if mother-in-law was mad at us because she couldn't hold him, she still could have been facetiming or doing socially distanced visits with us to see the baby. Same goes for the rest of his family. She recently contacted my mom asking how to fix it. My mom told me and husband that we need to just get over it and forgive her despite her lack of apology. I'm of the belief that she's a grown woman and she should know how to a respect boundaries and b apologize when someone tells her she's done something wrong. My husband agrees. Am I the a-hole for still wanting an apology?

[00:07:06]Not a-hole. If you let her have her way after all that has happened for months family against y'all exaggeration, you're letting her know that it's okay to do that and that in the end she will get her way. Y'all would be reinforcing that behavior and you may counter it again. in the future. It's unfortunate that it went that far. I'm not so sure if making her apologize will really fix anything. She might not even know what she's apologizing for despite it being obvious to you or others. That is my exact thought process. After all of this, the least she could do is apologize. And if she gets away with the behaviors without doing so, she's going to think it's okay to act that way in the future. Also, it's been 8 months at this point. I know that part is a little confusing. And yeah, honestly, for me, an apology won't do anything at this point. Before she threatened grandparents rights, I may have been able to move past it, but pulling that card when all she has to do was say sorry was enough for me. At this point, the apology would just be nice, but it won't change much, at least for me. I know my husband wants to hear it, too.

[00:08:11]And I told him it's his choice if he wants to forgive them and have a relationship with them. So, for anyone who's saying you should just move past it, you should present a story of a child who has been throwing tantrums, crying and lying, threatening people when they don't get their way, maybe list some other general examples of what she's done. Then ask them how they'd handle it. See what their answer is. See if they say the child should be disciplined in some way and expect an apology. You can respond that if a child is expected to act better and apologize, then why is it different when the same behavior is coming from mother-in-law?

[00:08:45]not a-hole. Firstly, it's great to read you and your husband are on the same page about this and are supporting each other. Secondly, what a ridiculous person your mother-in-law is. Your child was sick at an incredibly young age and she not only made your reasonable request of limiting contact all about her, she turned the family against you and had everyone gang up on you. The fact that no one even checked in with you about how the baby was doing shows they don't care and are petty, selfish people. You absolutely have the right to an apology. If you were to get one, she'd unlikely mean it. And it's not going to end undo any hurt. But it's the principle of the matter and also the fact that if you let it slide, she'll think this behavior was acceptable.

[00:09:28]Sorry you've been having to deal with all this drama whilst looking after a newborn. Not a hole. She knows how to fix it. All she has to do is apologize.

[00:09:37]Her calling your mom and asking her how to fix it is a disgusting manipulative tactic she's using to try and turn your own family against you. If I was you, I would be done with her. Period. Apology or no? Frankly, even if she apologizes, she clearly has a grudge against you now. That wouldn't be surprised if she tries to come at you in the future about something else once she's back in your life. I'm glad others see it. I was genuinely starting to feel crazy about it because my mom is constantly telling me need to just let it go. I couldn't fit it in the post, but twice now my mother-in-law has contacted my mother once 4 months ago and then again recently asking how we can fix this.

[00:10:19]Ma'am, where are you getting we from?

[00:10:22]It's you say sorry. She doesn't get it and I don't believe she will anymore.

[00:10:30]That's why for me, although I want the apology, it won't mean blind forgiveness. I don't think it will for my husband either, but he's a lot more willing to repair the relationship if she does. And that's fine. Won't stand in his way. He understands my hesitation.

[00:10:46]Next story. Am I a-haul for withholding my baby from my mom? I'll admit that title makes me sound like a monster. My husband and I have a 15-month-old son.

[00:10:57]We never planned on having more kids as we already have two boys, both currently in high school. My only sibling also have two kids who are also both in high school. So, a new baby was a big deal to everyone. I live 30 minutes away from my mother and although our relationship isn't a great one, I figured I'd be seeing her a lot. Well, the baby arrived with quite a traumatic entry, so we restricted hospital visits so I could recover, not play host. My mom was unhappy with that as I didn't let her new husband in to see the baby at the hospital. Honestly, zero desire for someone I didn't know very well to see me in adult diaper and a sports bra and nothing else. So, right after, she kind of avoided us because she had hurt feelings. Then, she was sick for a few weeks and couldn't see him. Then, the pandemic started. All in all, she didn't see him from when he was a couple months old until he was 7 or 8 months old.

[00:11:50]After that, when she did see him, it's because I've gone to her house. I honestly got tired of trying to push the relationship, so I quit taking him out there often. Anytime she brings up how long it's been since she saw him, I remind her that she's more than welcome to come to our house anytime she wants.

[00:12:06]My husband and I both work full-time.

[00:12:08]She only works part-time. She's retired, so I feel like her driving out isn't asking too much. The last time she came out to visit him was for his first birthday. Since then, I've taken him to her house once. Now she's guilting me about how he doesn't know who she is, and she's upset that she never sees him.

[00:12:27]Should I be making more of an effort again? Am I the a-hole for not making sure he sees his grandparents often?

[00:12:34]Now for the top comments. Not a hall.

[00:12:38]You are not withholding your baby from your mom. You're allowing her to see the child. Your mother is the one not wanting to put any effort into building a relationship.

[00:12:47]Many of my friends have children whose only contact with her grandparents over the last year has been FaceTime. If she can't be bothered to come to you, maybe she can at least talk over the internet.

[00:12:57]Honestly, these days people's feelings are so easily hurt. And those people don't realize that everyone has feelings, but some of us are adults about it. Not ahal. You're not withholding your baby. She's choosing not to engage and playing the victim.

[00:13:14]not dayhaul. Complaining about a problem you can easily solve is your own fault.

[00:13:19]She's choosing not to visit. That's her decision. And she doesn't get to see your grandchild because she doesn't visit. That's your consequence. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Her choices are her own. Not a you have three kids and both of you work full-time. The two of you don't have the time or the energy to be providing on demand visits off the baby.

[00:13:42]Relationships work both ways. She's perfectly capable of getting off her ass at night posterior and coming to her house if she wants to see the baby.

[00:13:50]She's an adult and is perfectly capable of making an effort on her own part to get to know the baby. You and your husband are completely in the clear.

[00:13:58]Feel free to tell your mother to grow up and stop being so self-centered.

[00:14:03]Now for the last story. Am I the a-hole for telling my daughter that she needs to get a real job or move out? My daughter, 24, female, had to move back in with me and my wife 3 months ago. She used to live in her own apartment since she was 19, but unfortunate events cost her to terminate her lease. Anyways, she's studying at a close by university and working on her thesis. She's also employed as an assistant, and they pay her on an hourly basis, so she has to document her hours, but they only give her her salary at the end of each semester, which is basically moderate lumpsum. But the fact that she's not receiving a monthly income means that she's not able to pay me rent in due time. I get that she's still studying and that she's my daughter, but I can't have a grown adult woman stay in my house rentree. So, the other day I brought up the topic and she said that she's trying her best, but that she's overwhelmed as is juggling her assistant work and her studies. I was sort of annoyed at this and told her that her assistant work isn't a real job, that her hours is lenient and that she needs to get a real job to cover her monthly rent or that she has to move out. She started crying and said that it is a real job and that the lumpsum will be just enough to cover her rent and her student loan debt. But I'm still not eager to sit and wait for her on her rent. My wife overheard a conversation and she's really upset with me now. She said that I'm insensitive. My wife is usually at home and she said that she can tell my daughter is overwhelmed.

[00:15:31]Apparently, she's working till early hours in the morning and only been getting an average 4 to 5 hours of sleep since she moved in with us. She has to submit her thesis soon, which is a major deadline a month from now. My wife said it's not like she's loafing or wasting her time doing nothing or playing video games. My wife also told me that my daughter's assistant work is a real job and she often works extra hours.

[00:15:54]Sometimes she'll get called in for nonsensical reasons, but that she never heard my daughter complain about it, but that her exhaustion is quite obvious.

[00:16:02]Well, apparently it's not that obvious.

[00:16:05]If it was, why didn't I pick up on it?

[00:16:07]But my wife is ignoring me now, and I'm starting to wonder, am I the a-hole here?

[00:16:13]You're the a-hole. You didn't pick up on it because you are an insensitive a-hole who sees his daughter as a money source and not his child. And honestly, if you don't pull your head from that dark hole it's in, then you'll be lucky to even have a daughter or wife. My favorite response to date. Honestly, I'm 64 and my 99-year-old mother would freaking be thrilled if there was any way she could help me out. And if it meant me moving in with her so she could see me more, I can't imagine anything making her happier. Unless Opie is seriously in trouble financially, I can't even imagine acting like this as a parent.

[00:16:49]Yeah, pretty a-hole big time. I was expecting to read about some deadbeat daughter who can't be brother to work or study at all. But it sounds like your daughter is doing her best and her best seems pretty good and you should be proud of her, not to grade her and her work. You should be ashamed of yourself.

[00:17:07]Unless that money is all that's keeping you from the homeless shelter, you should really shut your mouth about it.

[00:17:13]Oh, and exhaustion and burnout is pretty noticeable if you pay attention to someone at all. especially someone you live with. Sounds like you need to really examine your attitude.

[00:17:23]You're already the a-hole. A thesis by itself is a full-time job, and it sounds like her assistant work is full-time hours on top of that. She's likely working harder than you ever have. He posted and deleted a comment saying, "When I was her age, I was already out of the house and in a steady relationship, but I never went to university like her. She's definitely working harder than he did at her age.

[00:18:07]First story is titled, "Am I the a-hole for telling my brother he got exactly what he deserved when he pushed his girlfriend away for being a gold digger?"

[00:18:16]My brother is a very hardworking man and at 27 he is now very wealthy and doing well for himself. He's been with his girlfriend for 6 months and throughout the time we have gotten close because we both like hair, makeup, and shopping. I never knew there was anything wrong with our relationship except when she texted me last week saying she would love to hang out but thinks it'll be inappropriate because her and my brother broke up. I asked her why and she said she was sick and tired of auditioning to prove she was with him for the right reasons. She went on to say that my brother is paranoid she's after his money so he would test her like one leaving out his bank statements on their bed and getting upset when she picked it up. Two, going out to eat at high-end restaurants he requested and leaving his wallet at home at purpose to make her pay the bill and prove she's not going out with him for money. three, never buying her gifts and questioning her when she asks why he doesn't. I was so shocked, so I had to hear my brother's perspective. We spoke and he told me everything she said was true and that there's nothing wrong with making sure his girlfriend is with him for the right reasons. He said he left his bank statements on the bed and was peeking through the door to see if she would be curious. And when he saw her pick up the papers, he knew in his gut she was using him for his money. So, he set up the restaurant idea to see if she would get upset at paying a $500 bill, which he was. I asked him if he thinks her being an elementary school teacher could have contributed to her being upset at a $500 bill at a restaurant he wanted to go to, and he said no. He said the straw that broke was when she asked him why he hasn't bought her a single gift since they've started dating. when she bought him a gaming console and new rims for his car and he knew she was just discreetly asking him to buy her an expensive gift. He confronted her and said he thinks she's with him for his money. So she said, "Let me do us both a favor and dumped him and blocked him.

[00:20:17]He's upset about the gold digging witch." And when I laughed, he called me an a-hole. He said I would never understand what it's like being a rich man and being used. And I get that concern, but I told him if he thinks any woman will be okay with his tests and additions, he is delusional as hell. If he doesn't want to be used for his money, he should start dating people as wealthy as him or leave lower income people alone if he's not going to be genuine in his relationships unless they pass his test.

[00:20:46]Now for the top comments, not A-hol sounds like you told your brother the truth. He sounds immature and testing a partner never turns out well. He said it's impossible to find a woman as wealthy as him, so he's forced to date middle and lowerass women, so he's still going to continue his tests. I told him he should go to therapy, and he said I'm crazy. Your brother knows there are such things as prenups. Yeah. Also, well, I'm by no means wealthy. I do all right for myself, as I am sure is the case for many on here. I will say if I were invited to be treated at an expensive restaurant and be stuck with a $500 bill as a test, I would be massively blasted and would end a relationship.

[00:21:30]There's no way I would have paid a bill on a teacher's salary. I would have left his butt right then. He goes after lower to middle class women because it feels like he has an advantage over them. He likes the power. This seriously, he enjoys feeling superior and making them jump through hoops. Not the A-hol OP.

[00:21:50]Also, dump your brother and stays friends with the ex. Only A-hol here is the brother. Also, where does she teach?

[00:21:57]That she can afford game consoles, rims, and $500 dinners. Clearly, she's really responsible with her money. Something you'd think the brother would appreciate if he weren't such a shallow a hat. She told me she dipped into her savings for all that and not her salary, which is sad because she still has student loans and credit cards she's paying off. Not going to lie, I've dated men like this and a girlfriend is better off without this mindfield of mind games. She's clearly too good for him.

[00:22:28]Now for the next story. Am I the a-hole for only taking care of my wife and ignoring our roommate? My wife and I live in a house with a mother-in-law apartment over the garage. We got gifted a house from her uncle and we use it for both a house and for work/side projects.

[00:22:46]So, when we were going to rent out the mother-in-law apartment, it made sense to rent to an artist. Our roommate is a very intense woman all of the time.

[00:22:55]She's almost a caricature of a man-hating feminist. I hate using that term as an insult because I believe in equality, but it's the most concise way to explain this woman. This woman hates the entire world, but especially me. She has tried to explain to my wife that I'm evil because of entire laundry list of assumptions about me. I've heard her go on rants when she's outside about men and everyone she views as the enemy, though. So, I'm just a more available target. I don't like her. She stresses me out every time I have to talk to her.

[00:23:28]and I wish she would leave, but evicting her isn't an option for multiple practical and legal reasons. My wife and I both have histories of trauma, but 2020 has been harder on her. She's often afraid to go in public, so I have been doing most of the errands and taking care of her a lot more. The roommate has caught on to this and has decided that I owe her the same care because she is taken to cornering me all around the small yard to demand to know why I refuse to give aid to a high-risk member of my household and that I have to help her because I am clearly able and owe her. She has made multiple videos accusing me of discriminating against her for being a single woman artist and wanting her to ration food and starve by forcing her into the world when it's too dangerous. I don't care about her Twitter followers, but I am concerned that maybe I need to do something to help. It does look like she's losing weight and has been out a lot less, but I really can't swallow helping someone for free that is constantly mean to me and showing phone cameras in my face to try to film a staged argument to try to get some kind of internet fame. Am I the a-hole?

[00:24:36]Now for the top comments. Not a-hole.

[00:24:39]For goodness sake, she's not a part of your family. You're the landlord and she's your tenant. Unless it's in the lease that you'll provide these things.

[00:24:48]Tell her to pound sand. That's the only obligation you have to her. Whatever's in that document.

[00:24:54]She's not a part of your family. This she has no right whatsoever to demand that you care for her. She sounds like a horrible woman. Not a not a-hole. OP. I don't fully know your circumstances or where you are, but if she's dumb enough to keep an online record of her harassing you, because that's what it is, then depending on the level of those your state laws about recording and consent, etc., you may very well have the ability to file for a restraining order, which could possibly get her tennis rights straight out the window. I know you said it isn't an option, but put in writing to her that you do not give her your consent to appear in her videos and just speak with a lawyer if you can to see what your options are. If you're in somewhere like California, she's breaking the law. If she's video recording him within their home without his consent, that is likely illegal as well. Awesome point. I agree to get her out. This can't be good for his wife either. It's in the yard. She doesn't have access to the main house.

[00:25:57]The next story is titled, "Am I the a-hole for telling my mom's new husband I don't want the responsibility of being his kid's big sister?" My 16 female mom got married in January. My mom's husband has two kids. His son is seven and his daughter is five. My mom's husband has wanted me to be their big sister, but I have mostly done my own thing since they got married. It's not that I'm not happy for my mom. I am. She has been alone since my dad died when I was five and it was just the two of us through my childhood. So, I am happy for her. I'm just not totally into the idea of us the whole big happy blended family where there's no step or half or anything before the titles of mom/dad/siblings.

[00:26:43]My mom's husband and I have buted heads a lot over this. The stay-at-home order was tough because his kids wanted me to do everything with them. He wanted me to do their school from home with them. And he wanted me to play with them and come up with fun things for us to do together. And I just want to focus on my work and talk to my friends online and via games since I couldn't see them for months. He didn't like that at all and it made things tense. I sat with his kids sometimes, but I couldn't get away from them and didn't want to spend my free time with them or my study time.

[00:27:17]The other week, we had a blowup about the whole thing. His kids are back in school. I'm doing distance learning, so they are around less and I'm able to see my friends outside and he doesn't like that I'm spending no time with his kids.

[00:27:31]He said I'm supposed to be their big sister and I told him I didn't want that responsibility, that I didn't sign up for having my free time taken over by his kids. My mom said she gets it, but it wouldn't hurt to try a little more with them and be the sister they're crying out for. She said it would mean a lot to her, but if I can't, I can't. Am I the a-hole?

[00:27:54]Now for the top comments. Not the a-hole. I told him I didn't want that responsibility, that I didn't sign up for having my free time taken over by his kids. Damn straight. He wanted me to do their school from home with them, and he wanted me to play with them and come up with fun things for us to do together. Sounds more like he wants a free babysitter. Why would you have been doing their school from home with them when you had your own work to do? My mom said she gets it, but it wouldn't hurt to try a little more with them and be the sister they're crying out for. She said it would mean a lot to her, but if I can't, I can't. Listen, I'm not saying that you shouldn't be nice to them or interact with them at meal times, etc. But beyond that, you have your own life.

[00:28:37]And a 16-year-old is not typically going to want to hang out with a five and seven-year-old more than with their own similarly aged friends. The step aspect of it doesn't even come into it. If your mom's husband wants to force you to spend your time with them, he can ask you to babysit paid. And if you want to do it, then you can. Your time is your own. Exactly what I was going to say.

[00:29:02]Even if they were your 100% bio siblings, you still wouldn't want to hang out with them, not the a-hole.

[00:29:10]Now, for the last story, am I the a-hole for locking my wife out of my accounts?

[00:29:15]Am I the a-hole for never giving my wife access to my bank account again? The last year has been a real hell for me.

[00:29:22]Deaths in the family, medical issues, emergency surgeries, and of course, money issues. Through all of it, the only constant is my wife's spending. I go in for treatment. Because of this, I cannot work. So I tell her we need to budget. She says she understands. But within 3 months, I am looking for financial help because she kept buying whatever she wanted at the time. We get a bit of holiday money and we agree to not spend it all. While I was in treatment, she spent it all. We get tax refund. Within 3 months, that's gone. I cash in a long-term investment to clear out all debts and give us a cushion that should have lasted indefinitely. That lasted 5 months. In the last month, disability gave her a total of 1,800 in payments. Even though she pays no bills, it's already gone. For your information, I have no access to her accounts. The only reason she does not have access to mine at this time is because I've been garnished twice for her old debts. So, I took her name off to avoid it again.

[00:30:23]Update info. Some posters have asked about food costs and such. The funds she gets every month are not used for any food shopping initially. Because of my current condition and the situation we are in, we get a benefit until things clear up. This is where most of our food needs are met. But the number of times I have had to cover extra costs because the benefit has been used up as well as her own funds has become almost common.

[00:30:50]And yes, she knows how upset this makes me. I have literally looked at her and told her just how broke we are because of her mishandling of her accounts. The shock on her face is real as the reality of what she had done hits her. I can recall a few times I had to explain to her that she had spent all our extra funds within 1 to two weeks of getting them. This impact just does not last.

[00:31:14]Divorce is not on the menu, at least not yet.

[00:31:19]Now for the top comments. Not to A-hol.

[00:31:22]This sounds awful. She needs to learn not to spend money and budget. If she can go through that much money with no bills, it's extremely concerning. I wouldn't let her in my account either.

[00:31:34]Maybe start having her itemize what she buys and explain to you in detail why she absolutely needs that item and why she couldn't live without it. Maybe that will help her realize her spending is affecting the household funds. I wouldn't even give her an allowance to be honest. If she doesn't have any bills, then she can get a part-time job.

[00:31:53]If she wants to continue spending, she can work for it. This doesn't work. It's seen as controlling, abusive, and holding money over your partner regardless of how much is wasted or how much it hurts watching your savings and sacrifice disappear in takeaways and coffee. Source now to income broke husband. Not a reconsider your marriage.

[00:32:17]This woman will financially ruin you. I see a divorce in your future, Opie. And I don't think that's a bad thing.

[00:32:25]And that's the end of this video, folks.

[00:32:27]As always, leave a comment and hit like and subscribe. And if you want more of this content, turn your notification on to get updated on the latest videos. And I'll catch you in the next one. Stay safe.

[00:32:40]Am Hall for getting a newly married couple kicked out of the apartment. I male 23 rented an apartment with a guy named Chris. He's not a college student unlike my previous roommates. Reason I chose to rent with an older guy is because of the situations college students put me in and being responsible. Not everyone, but that's my experience. He had a girlfriend at the time that visited two to three times a week. From what I understand, her family weren't approving of their relationship. One evening, Chris came and brought his what I thought was his girlfriend, and he told me they just eloped and are now married despite his wife's family's disapproval.

[00:33:24]She brought a small bag with her. Asked if she was going to live with us. He said yes. I asked if the landlord knew and whether any changes were added to the lease since she's living with us. He said the landlord allowed her to stay till she starts working and pay for rent. I said, "Congrats." Then I went to my room. The next day, I noticed Chris's strange behavior. He started asking me to eat breakfast outside and let them have privacy slash asking that I keep my laundry in my room slash asking that I stop bringing certain foods into the kitchen and fridge cuz his wife's allergic to them and no more friends over. I was so annoyed, especially after I got called names whenever I entered the apartment because I walked in on them doing it in the living room several times. I had to exit the place quickly and they kept me out for like 3 hours once. Chris was livid. Instead, since my parents didn't do a good job at teaching me what is appropriate and what's not, he thought he'd make a list of places I'm not allowed to go into the apartment during certain times. Example, not using TV after 12, not using the bathroom after 12 as his wife might be dressed in revealing clothes till I talk to him first. What time I'm allowed to return to the apartment and when I'm allowed to use appliances and such. I flipped out and asked him what the hell am I paying rent for? Then Chris said if I respect myself enough, then I'd stick to these new arrangements. Yeah, well, I had enough respect for myself to go talk to my landlord. So, I told him everything.

[00:34:54]It turned out that he didn't know Chris's wife moved in. He had an argument with Chris and gave him an eviction note to leave the apartment.

[00:35:02]Chris came back and said he couldn't believe I did this to him. Said he thought we were friends. I remained quiet till his wife came yelling that they're screwed, that they don't have money to rent elsewhere and family won't take them. I kept shrugging while Chris was screaming at me, asking if I'm happy with a newly married couple being homeless because of what I did. Chris been guilting me saying I should have talked to him about it. Am I the a-hole?

[00:35:27]Now for the top comments. You're absolutely not a-hole. Chris seems to think that he can dictate the happenings of the apartment 100% when he only pays presumably 50% of the rent. He also obviously lied to you, telling you that the landlord said it was okay. Never have I had a landlord, even the most lenient ones, just allow another tenant without adding them into the lease. It's cute they thought you were friends when he so blatantly disrespected you. This is manipulation. They're homeless because of his doing, not yours.

[00:36:00]Hands up if you want to bet Chris told girlfriend/wife that department was his and Opie was leasing a single room. So of course he can lay down the law probably. Sounds like he's trying to be the big man on campus, which ultimately translates into a-hole, given that he has no ground to stand on. Not a-hole.

[00:36:23]You didn't do anything to them. They did it to themselves. Their rules were ridiculous. And you absolutely don't have intercourse in a living room you share. They were the ones breaking the rules set forth by the landlord in lease side. And he lied to you about it. You are not a here, but Chris and his wife are. Yeah, the couch wasn't available the entire time since Chris said didn't feel comfortable with me sitting on it since his wife sits there all the time.

[00:36:50]Suddenly, I'm seeing why her family didn't approve of this relationship.

[00:36:55]Chris seems to be controlling idiot.

[00:36:57]Don't sweat over it. You did nothing wrong. Not the hell. Chris sounds like an entitled Nothing to feel guilty about at all. You didn't do anything wrong. Your only mistake was the initial concession to let the wife in without conditions. Hard to see a situation like this coming though.

[00:37:16]Now for the next story. Am I a-haul for telling my sister that she can stay with me but her fianceé can't? I 28 female am.

[00:37:27]It's a lot but I managed. It's helped by the fact that some of the kids are older and I have had a lot of help. I couldn't have done it alone. My sister's 33 female partner, 34 male, can be crappy about it. He thinks he has some sort of moral high ground due to my kids. And him being older than me means he treats me like he knows better than I do. He and my sister are facing eviction soon, and they want to stay with me. I've said that she can stay, but he can't. I don't want him around my kids when it's a family event that we can leave any time.

[00:38:00]Why on earth would I want him living with us with no escape? My sister was upset but ultimately accepted. However, she has asked if I would change my mind more than once. I said if he found somewhere else to stay the majority of the time, we would negotiate on him coming over a certain number of nights per week, which she accepted. Her partner, on the other hand, is hopping mad. Says I'm being cruel, using my power over him to humiliate him and punishing him for his opinions. He even compared me to a tyrant. I've said that if I was on a fence before, there's no way he's allowed here now. And said that while I was open to him coming over if my sister is staying with me, I now don't want him coming over at all. My sister has said that this isn't fair and she should be allowed to see her boyfriend, that I'm not her mother. I can't control her and that if she's going to be paying rent, we agreed she'd give me 100 per month for food, bills, and guest room. Then she should be allowed guests over. Am I a-haul for not letting him stay over? Info: My sister has not moved in yet. We're still just talking through everything and I have a very good security system, so she cannot realistically sneak him in or anything like that.

[00:39:13]Not day home. And honestly, if your sister is going to be that way, tell her she's not welcome either. She's a guest in your home and it is not her house, even if she's giving some money a month.

[00:39:25]Not Dehal. And I'm seriously more worried about your kids. His attitude to you is bad enough, but kids pick up on this crap. Please, please do not let him near them for the love of God. What happens if he's at home full-time and you have to leave unexpectedly to get something done? Would you trust him with them while you do dayto-day things like grocery shopping? Please don't subject them to this. You're right to exclude a boyfriend. He sounds like a tool. Based on your sister's comments about entitlement based on rent, I'd reconsider allowing her to stay. After a month, it will be my boyfriend has a right to stay here as I want because I pay rent. This sounds like you're setting yourself up for trouble. Tell them to go somewhere else and check their attitudes and entitlement if they expect people to want to help them in future. Not day-hole. $100 a month works out to $3.28 a day. It's laughable. If her boyfriend weasles his way into the house, the rent is further reduced to $1.64 per day for each of them. This is supposed to cover food and utilities too. Not day. It's your house and you get to decide who is and isn't allowed in it. Secondly, if this person is like this to you, what kind of things is he going to say to your kids? You've absolutely done the right thing telling him no. And if your sister doesn't like it, she can find somewhere to live.

[00:40:50]paying a load more than 100 a month and she can have a likes visit. Thankfully, he's got the sense to not say anything to the kids directly. But my oldest, a teenager, has overheard some things he did not appreciate, which he now holds against the fiance. I don't doubt that if he was living here for however long they need to get back on their feet, he would say more things that the younger kids may overhear.

[00:41:13]Next story is titled Amier Hall for telling my brother's girlfriend that all said and done she's still a guest in our house. My parents have an apartment in San Francisco that they generously let me and my brother share while we working out here. They own it. We split utilities and we've been living here for the past 2 years. Headed to myself for another year or so before my brother joined me. Recently, that is for the past 4 to 5 months. My brother has found himself, as he often does, with a rather quirky girlfriend who just doesn't have a sense of boundaries. When she's not stoned and pretending to do art, she's constantly acting like she's the in-house interior decorator that we hired, constantly giving suggestions and unsolicited feedback. Worse, she's really taken to being comfortable here and is practically living out of my brother's room. I've caught her lounging in the living room topless or in just a robe, walking around naked from my brother's room to the bathroom. He uses the guest bath. I use the main one attached to my room, hanging her bra panties to dry on various pieces of furniture. It's just really bad and trashy. I've told him to keep her in line, but he refuses to listen. He's totally smitten with her, and I can't blame the guy. I think the last straw was finding her in her panties on my favorite chair. Reading through my mail stash, picking out what? Her mail that is starting to come here now. I yelled at her and said I would appreciate it if she were to give our place a little respect and realized that all said and done, she's still a guest in our place.

[00:42:47]And until she at least engaged to my brother, there's no obligation to consider her family, you know. She huffed a little and then said I should mellow out or something. But I was then done talking to her and stormed off. Am I the a-hole here? I'm at my wits end dealing with her. Edit: Ages. I'm male 25, he is male 23, and she's female 22.

[00:43:10]Now for the top comments. Not dayho.

[00:43:13]She's getting her mail delivered there.

[00:43:15]Kick her the hell out. Not Dehal. She could use mail been delivered as proof she's living there. You need her out ASAP. But ultimately it is your parents decision and you need to let them know before it becomes a legal issue. Info: How many days a week is she staying over? Is she there when your brother is not? Does she pay anything towards the bills? Not the hell. Unless slash until your brother wants her to officially move in. She's a guest and should be more respectful. I'd ask your brother why her mail is coming there. Have they lowkey moved her in without telling you?

[00:43:52]Yeah. I don't know if she actually got mail or is just pretending. I'm going to bring it up with the parents. I didn't want them to get in our mess. The deal was with split utilities and that's it.

[00:44:04]Not deho. Don't get stuck with a squatter claiming squatters right. Kick her out quick. Never thought about this.

[00:44:13]I second this. I live in San Francisco, too, and tenant protections here are insane. If she is getting mail and has been her primary residence for more than 30 days, she might have established tenency and getting her out will be a nightmare. Talk to your parents immediately and kick her out. If need be, you might need to get a landlord attorney.

[00:44:34]Now for the last story. Am I the a-hole for taking money from my boyfriend because he did something dumb with my car keys?

[00:44:42]So, for starters, I don't currently have a license, so I know for a fact I did not lose these keys in question. I have not driven it all this year. The other day, I realized my car's inspection was out, and I asked my friend at a car dealership if he could come get it and get it checked out, which he said, "Sure." So, I start looking for my car keys, and I have two sets of them. Both are gone, and my boyfriend insists he didn't take them, even though he's the only person who can drive and does drive that car a few times a week. After hours and hours of searching, I finally find one of the keys in his pants that went through the washer and dryer and won't start the car at all. The second set is still nowhere in sight. So, basically, after a week of searching, I had to get the car towed to the dealership and purchased two new sets of keys to be programmed. It cost a fair bit of money and my boyfriend feels that since it's my car, it's my problem. I ended up taking half of the cost from cash in his wallet. Part of my annoyance is he did the same thing a year or two ago with my truck. Lost both keys. Thankfully, I was able to prove to the dealership what happened and that I owned a truck and they were able to get me a new key without the truck being towed in. I paid for both new keys that time myself. Am I ahal for taking money like that from him? I also want to add, I'm currently working part-time from home due to the loss of license while he works full-time. I make less than he does now, but I still pay my half of the bills.

[00:46:10]Edited to add, since apparently within the 5 minutes of being posted, I'm being accused of making horrible life choices and being a drunk driver, I'd like everyone to know I have epilepsy and had a seizure at the end of December, which requires my doctor to take my license for a minimum of 6 months. This is why I'm working part-time now because I can't drive to a job and my doctor wants me to use this time to recover properly.

[00:46:35]What the hell? Not a hole. You should be paying the full price. If you're not using your car, honestly, just sell it.

[00:46:44]He's proven himself twice now to be responsible with your property and just not have common decency or respect for you and your property to replace what he lost. Are you going to wait for this to happen a third time? Either don't let him drive your car or he has one of the two keys and if he loses it, he needs to pay to replace your place. Well, I have epilepsy and I'm within the time frame of being licensed still. I'm hoping to be able to drive again relatively soon, which is why I still have the car and truck. If this turns out to be a longer problem, I'll probably consider selling them. I agree with you though. I've started keeping the secondary sets in my nightstand because of what happened with my truck. But apparently he went and looked at backups when he lost the first set and never told me. So he essentially stole your keys, lost them, then expected you to pay. Wasteman, he owes you the full price in a genuine apology.

[00:47:41]Yes, I'm sorry I didn't mention that before. These keys have been in my nightstand since the truck issue, and I rarely need them because I always hang the main keys back up. To be honest, I don't even know when the secondary set went missing because I haven't driven in so long. I could have sworn he just drove the car to work last week, so it had to be relatively recently this all occurred. Info: Why are you still together? His inability to accept small responsibility is now causing you to steal. Trust me, I've been asking myself the same thing recently. I feel like breaking up over car keys sounds super silly, but I don't think it's particularly fair for me to be paying about $700 myself and need to pay for my half of the bills because of something he did.

[00:48:42]Am I the a-hole for contaminating honey with peanut butter and not telling my peanut allergic housemate?

[00:48:52]Yeah, this sounds bad, but hear me out.

[00:48:55]I live with fake name who is allergic to peanuts. He says it's fine if I eat them around him, but be careful with crosscontamination.

[00:49:03]I limit my peanut consumption. Don't eat peanuts food around him just in case, and I'm careful when I do. I clean everything after. I don't want to take any risks because it's not my risk to make. Two years and not a problem until last week. I have a doing mother who loves giving fancy gifts like my Easter basket this year which had not much in the way of chocolate but much in the way of homemade preserves and a jar of honey. Not your supermarket plastic tub but a proper glass jar. It looked so fancy I expected to see the names of the bees listed on it. Nope. Just the location the beast lived in. Now we have some food rules. Bottle of milk in the fridge. Ours. The fancy honey with my name stuck on it for good measure. Mine.

[00:49:50]We're pretty good with not stealing each other's food. So I feel pretty safe with leaving fancy stuff in the kitchen. Only I don't have much opportunity to eat fancy honey. I mean pretty sure you're meant to do something special with fancy honey, right? Probably. But I don't know what. So last week when I made myself some toast, I made a childhood favorite, peanut butter and honey on toast. And because it was my honey with my name taped across the top, I don't think twice before dipping that peanut butter knife in my fancy honey. Probably a waste of fancy honey, but we were out of regular honey. After I washed the knife and plate before putting them into the dishwasher and wiped down the bench just in case. I was at home a couple of days later when fake name decided to help himself to my honey. Now following a hospital trip, his home safe and we've had a chat about how to prevent such things in the future. But the question has arisen, who here is the a-hole? Me for not writing contains nuts on the contaminated honey despite knowing my fake name is allergic or fake name for looking at my fancy honey and deciding to help himself to just a little bit. I mean, it's pretty annoying to have someone else eat your food, but the punishment shouldn't be a potential death sentence. And let's face it, who hasn't swiped just a little bit of a spread or condiment which doesn't belong to them? And time to fuzz up here. I'm the reason we were out of regular honey.

[00:51:16]We can't decide. So, tell me, Reddit, am I the a-hole?

[00:51:20]Now, for the top comments. Not a-hole.

[00:51:24]This never would have happened if your roommate hadn't helped himself to your food without asking. This is all on him.

[00:51:30]Just a quick, "Hey, can I have a bit of your fancy honey?" would have prevented this entire situation as you obviously would have told him, "Nah, bro. I double dipped a peanut butter knife in that."

[00:51:42]Ask before you help yourself to other people's things. If I was OP, I would straight up tell him not to touch any of my foods or condiments going forward.

[00:51:50]But the roommate sounds like he is not the type to take personal responsibility for himself and blames other people for his mistakes. I would dare to say he would probably be quick to pursue a lawsuit if he suffered severe injuries.

[00:52:03]Don't let him misconrue your past generosity is an open door policy of helping himself. Explicitly tell him no.

[00:52:10]I don't know. It sounds more like this is a friendly debate they're having here than that he is about to call his lawyers. But maybe I'm getting the tone wrong.

[00:52:20]Not a-hole. Your roommate learned to leave other people's things alone. When you're highly allergic to foods, you only eat things you know are safe. If he hadn't been eating something that didn't belong to him, he would have been fine.

[00:52:34]Exactly. Not ahole. With allergies, your roommate should have been more careful and only used stuff he knew was his. Not a hole. He knows and has approved you eating peanut products in the house.

[00:52:47]Therefore, he knows there's a risk of crosscontamination with your foods.

[00:52:51]Something clearly labeled as yours is therefore not guaranteed safe. And the onus is on him to check with you around crosscontamination before helping himself to it. It's not unreasonable for him to have a bit. It's unreasonable and therefore he's the a-hole to blame you for his emergency when you had already taken steps to make it clear this was for you only.

[00:53:12]Now for the next story. Am I the a-hole for not giving my neighbors kids good food? So, I know that this is really stupid, but some of my friends told me that I'm the wrong here. To get started, here's our cast. Me, female, 38.

[00:53:29]Neighbor, female, 32. My husband, male, 39. Kid one, male 8. Kid 2, male 7. My kid, female 8. My neighbor moved in not too long ago with her two sons. Seeing that she had a lot of unpacking to do, I went over to her house and offered to babysit her kids for her. She thanked me and walked her kids over to my house. I kept some of my son's toys from when he was younger. He has moved out already, and set them up in my yard. My daughter is fairly extroverted and immediately went outside to play with them. It was around noon at the time, so I started to make lunch. I made some turkey sandwiches with American cheese. A simple lunch that we always have. I brought out some plates so that the kids could eat outside on our benches. The kids loved it and 30 minutes later, the sandwiches were gone and they were back playing soccer and tag. A few hours later, the neighbor's kids and my child marched inside and sat down tired. I put on some cartoons and told them I would be right back as I left to go get the neighbor to pick up her children. She looked tired but was happy that she didn't have to deal with little boys running around while she unpacked. She came over and took her boys. By this time, my husband was parking in our driveway home from work. My daughter had a fun time telling her father all about her day while I ordered pizza on my phone. About 5 minutes later, while I was still asking what everyone wanted, I hear a knock on my door. It was a neighbor. I thought she was going to thank me again, but she got angry and shouted at me. The following is some basic dialogue from what I can remember, though this did happen a few weeks ago.

[00:55:08]Me: Oh, hey, neighbor. Neighbor, look, we need to talk right now. Me? Oh, sure.

[00:55:16]What do you need, neighbor? Well, my sons told me that you gave them sandwiches for lunch. Me? Yes, I did.

[00:55:24]They really like Neighbor. Well, that is not enough for my boys. They're growing boys and they need to have good food and not whatever you gave them. Me? Really?

[00:55:36]Neighbor? Yes. Me? No. And I shut the door in her face. My daughter didn't really hear any of our conversation, but she asked me. I just told her that the neighbor didn't like sandwiches. She didn't bother to ask further and watched some shows in her room. My husband just laughed and so did I. The lady got mad that I fed food to her sons for free, right? But as it turns out, three of my close friends told me that I was rude and I should have just given them something better. We had mashed potatoes and some leftover pork that wouldn't take more than 29 minutes to heat up and serve, but I didn't feel like giving them that. I don't see the problem with what I did, but I trust my friends and I want to know if I should apologize. So, Reddit, am I the a-hole?

[00:56:22]Not the a-hole. I feel like an absurd number of people ate a turkey sandwich for lunch today and they're probably going to continue with their lives happily. No good deed goes unpunished, I guess. Hope she doesn't ever need a neighbor to babysit in a jam. I know I did. It was delicious.

[00:56:40]I made my kids grilled cheese for lunch.

[00:56:43]Am I going to hell? 20 years from now when those kids are doing hard time in the penitentiary, it's all going to trace back to that goddamn turkey sandwich.

[00:56:53]You might be on to something here.

[00:56:55]Statistically speaking, probably a lot of people currently incarcerated in the US have had a turkey sandwich.

[00:57:02]Day after Thanksgiving is the worst for crime. That's why it's called Black Friday. Not day. I thought the issue was going to be allergy or religion related.

[00:57:13]I do think you should have confirmed with your neighbor about food because that easily could have become a disaster. That being said, I don't know why a turkey sandwich is bad or why your neighbor and friends think they needed something better. I think if you have children with food allergies and you drop them off with a brand new neighbor you've never even met before so you can unpack, you should absolutely be telling this person about your children's allergies, not expecting them to come back and ask what's okay to serve for lunch.

[00:57:45]Now for the next story. Am I a-haul for telling my roommate I'm no longer okay with her boyfriend staying five to seven nights a week. I've been living with my roommate ex- best friend since last August when we signed the lease. I told her that moving in with one roommate her was already a big compromise for me as I really value my alone time and having a safe and quiet place. We discussed her boyfriend coming over a couple times a week. At the time it was on the weekends and once during the week and that includes staying the night and even that agreement was excessive for me but I was willing to work with it. Since then her boyfriend has been over five plus nights a week every single week. In the last 10 days he has been back at his own house one time. He showers here, does his laundry here, eats food here. I tried so hard to bite my tongue because my roommate was my best friend for a long time but she completely disrespected my boundaries. I asked her a few months back if he could be here less because I was having a hard time settling into my apartment on the weekends because I never had space to utilize common areas without him just being there all the time. She flipped out and told me I have no right to determine how often is here.

[00:58:57]Last night I lost my cool and texted her asking if he moved in without me knowing because it had been that long since I last had a night without him here. She said no and persisted that it wasn't my business. He is loud and messy and doesn't pay a dime to live here when he already lives at his parents house for free. We're in our mid20s, not even 19 or early 20s. Am I the a-hole for standing my ground and asking as the other person pays the bills that he be here less frequently than 5 to seven nights a week? Now for the top comments.

[00:59:33]Not a hole. She has basically moved him in without your or your landlord's permission. He pays no rent or utilities and is allowed. If she refuses to either have him move out again or pay his part of the rent, etc., you might approach the landlord. You're usually obliged to get a landlord's permission before moving in an extra person. OP should really just start looking for their own place because I don't see the roommates making nice if they are ex-friend.

[01:00:01]Agreed. If they complain to the landlord, he might agree to release them from the lease early or kick the roommate out. That's how it approached the least. Not they hull. If he's not contributing to the house while using all the utilities and food, that's a huge problem in itself. Also, you're entitled to have your house to yourself sometimes. I would tell her she either sticks to your original agreements or you're telling the landlord. Bringing the landlord in may create as much trouble for Opie as it does for the others. If the landlord decides to evict, Opie is getting evicted, too.

[01:00:36]Opie is quite possibly in violation of their lease right now. Not a hole. She flipped out and told me I have no right to determine how often he's here. Uh, that's where she's wrong. Is his name on the lease? Rhetorical question. I see it's not. I'd start looking for another roommate ASAP. In the meantime, I'd approach the landlord/leasasing office and inform them that your roommate has basically moved someone into your place despite your objection.

[01:01:05]Now for the last story. Am I a hall for assuming I wouldn't have to pay rent?

[01:01:11]Around 7 years ago, a very good friend of mine moved away to a different country and sold me her house. She met this guy there and had a baby. Two years after moving there and having the baby, her and her husband wanted to move back here to expand their family. She asked if she could stay with me in a spare room while she saved up some money to purchase a home. I happily said yes since she was kind enough to let me buy her home for less and she was also one of my bestest friends. So, I let them move into the basement rentree because I know they needed more space than just a room with a toddler. My boyfriend runs his own business and he employed her while she was trying to get a job and he was only paying her like $200 cash weekly and he didn't really need someone anyway so it was just something temporary. The basement didn't have a kitchen so they would come up to cook and eat and I gave them access towards all my food. She would also buy groceries and told us that it's for all of us to share. I knew her husband had money and was retired, but still receiving money on a monthly basis from his country. I guess equivalent to a pension, but I have clue as to what that amount was. But he did not work while he was here. She's also decently wealthy, and we would constantly go shopping together and out to eat, and she would spend a good amount of money. She ended up staying for 4 years, which is longer than anticipated. And during that time, we talked about adding a bathroom for them, and her husband offered to do the work so we didn't have to hire a company. We paid to add a bathroom, kitchen, and separate the empty floor plan to two bedrooms. This was mostly for their convenience, but we were planning on doing something along those lines in the future. She also stayed working for my boyfriend for the $200 weekly, even after we all found some jobs she qualified for. She now owns her own house and is renting out the second floor. My boyfriend and I are in the process of buying a new home and completely renovating it and want to sell our current home ASAP, but we have to rent out somewhere to stay for a few months. We asked if we can stay in her unfinished basement when she then informed us that the people living in the second floor have moved out and offered for us to stay there instead. My boyfriend and I were ecstatic and agreed and sold our house and have to move out in 2 weeks. We all met up for dinner this weekend and she tells us how much our rent should be. I explained to her that we weren't planning on paying rent and why she didn't tell us about it sooner and she asked why we assumed it would be free. In all honesty, I can afford rent and it is cheaper than an Airbnb. But I just felt that after what we did for them, it should have been free. Let me know. Am I the a-hole?

[01:03:54]Not the a-hole. They lived rent free for four years and can't let you crash for a couple of weeks. That's really crappy.

[01:04:02]It has heard she only offered you the second floor for that very reason. I'd go stay in a hotel and avoid giving them your money if they can't see reason.

[01:04:11]Added to add, maybe present them with what their rent would have been had you charged them what they want to charge you. Obviously, you can't go back on this and ask for it, but maybe it will put into perspective just how much they saved.

[01:04:25]Thank you so much for the input. My boyfriend and I are currently looking for other options. Feel kind of weird for being like this is how much you were to owe me if I wasn't such a nice person because I didn't do it expecting anything in return. Not day, please examine your relationship with this fair weather friend. I mean, you could mention that you thought it would be free as you did let her live in yours for 4 years and renovated it for her without so much as charging her a scent, which is why you didn't think that you would have to pay rent. She'd probably be mortified to reveal a different color to that you have seen. I know. I valued our friendship so much. And when I did a favor, I always thought she'd do the same for me. Well, I guess I was wrong about that. Very obviously not a-hole.

[01:05:15]It's a simple tit fortat situation. You could have been making money from that basement for 4 years, but instead chose to let your friend live rentree there out of the kindness of your own heart. I would kill to have friends as generous as you, Opie. From what you've established about their financial situation, she doesn't need to rent money. If that's the case, there's no reason why they can't pay you back for your years of generosity by letting you live rentree for a few months. Given the fact that she overstayed her welcome, maybe she's worried you'll do the same to her and that's why she wants to implement some kind of financial control here. Thank you so much. I feel extremely betrayed by her. And I've never felt that before because she always been equally as generous except the situation, which is why this is so hard for me to process.