The episode masterfully strips self-improvement of its academic pretension, delivering profound existential truths through the disarming lens of crude, unfiltered humor. It serves as a pragmatic reminder that sustainable growth occurs only when we stop treating our lives as a project to be completed.
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Stavvy's World #177 - Mandal | Full EpisodeAdded:
Welcome everybody to Stavy's World.
904800 stop. Call in. We'll solve your problems. We're here on this epic ass 420. As we all know, it's 420 right now.
>> Legalize it. Yep. What's up?
>> Oh, it's 420.
>> It's 420. Of course, dude. You know that.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I knew that.
>> Absolutely knew that.
>> We We're recording this at 4:00 a.m. at 4:20 and we're putting it out at 6:00 a.m. on 4:20.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz you know, I don't know about you, dude. I set when it's 4:20, I set the alarm for 12 a.m. and I wake up and I smoke weed and I listen to Sublime allude.
>> Yeah.
>> And you know something? I don't smoke weed, but I do that same thing anyway.
>> You just just listen to Sublime at >> Listen to Sublime. Eat Sublime Donuts.
They got Sublime Donuts up here.
>> No. What are Sublime Donuts?
>> There's a place called Sublime Donuts.
>> Okay. Cuz I thought it was an LA thing cuz they have a I will give LA some credit. They have a great doughnut culture.
>> Absolutely.
>> I didn't know Atlanta had it, too.
That's awesome.
>> The LA one is the best one, though.
>> They have >> the Cambodians.
>> It's so Yeah, it's always an e an ethnic group that's just so good. They nail one thing.
>> You ever seen that documentary about it?
>> No.
>> So, it was a It was actually a dude. It was a Cambodian dude who like I think like refugee who came to to California and worked for this doughut shop.
>> Hell yes. And then he worked so long that the dude taught him how to buy one and then so when people came from Cambodia, >> he would like set them up with donuts.
>> That's awesome. I love that [ __ ] That's how like uh like a lot of like Jersey Motel, it's Indian families because they would just like live in the three rooms and run the rest of it and they were like they would just bring it's [ __ ] genius. Yeah, Greek people just [ __ ] we run diners and then we we teach no skills to upcoming generations and then we get into the arts.
>> That's basically how it goes. Greek people really don't have like Vietnamese people. Apparently, it was one lady after Vietnam that showed like >> 20 Vietnamese women how to do nails.
Like one one like rich lady who felt bad for them for being refugees and just I think she was famous. I don't remember who the [ __ ] And maybe we even talked about it on this podcast. Have we elders? Why am I asking you? You don't [ __ ] You have no [ __ ] idea. You're so bad at your job. You Does that ring any bells to you?
>> Kind of. Didn't we just talk about it recently? No. Who were we talking? Well, who's the celeb? We said like >> it was I think we said the wrong celeb.
I think somebody said Marilyn Monroe and it wasn't her.
>> That would be crazy.
>> But it was somebody who was and God forbid you [ __ ] Google it.
>> It's what's was it Jane Fonda?
>> It wasn't Jane Fonda because Jane Fonda was out there on the tank.
>> Jane Fonda was looking awesome, dude.
She was like, "I'm with the [ __ ] Vietnamese." Which I get >> right now, dude.
>> I Let me not, you know, Mandal's his career's coming up. I don't want to [ __ ] I don't want to say how I feel about geopolitics right now, but let's just say I see where Jane Fonda was coming from.
>> Listen, man. One thing for sure, bro.
And we say Mandal is on the podcast. We started talking about donuts. We'll get back to it >> cuz I do. We're about to go to Atlanta.
We've been to Atlanta. We were just in Atlanta. Uh, as we all know, it's 4:20.
But I'm interested about these donuts.
>> Man, thank y'all for having me on the program again. Of course, dude. I'mma be honest with you. I I been on the program twice, went on the road, a lot of the tickets were people from this program.
And And I'm going say I can't eyeball them before they say >> before they say it. I'm like, I know what you seen me on. I think I have a hunch.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's cool, man.
>> That's beautiful, man. I appreciate that.
>> No, we're we're an incubator for plus-siz talent here at Stavy's World.
>> Absolutely.
>> You know, that's that's our vertical.
People don't really think about it that way. But across all lines, fat there, a fat identity cuts across all lines.
>> Man, that means so much to me, bro. Cuz I be in the comic club, I'm like, y'all got to cut the capacity in half, dog, if I'mma get involved with it.
Yeah, man. Yeah, that junk is is cool, bro. Yeah, you right, though, man. We going to lose this junk at Iran, though.
>> Oh, yeah.
>> I don't know if I'm supposed to say that.
>> I know. I know. It is crazy to just be like, I'm rooting for Iran.
>> It's a weird thing, bro.
>> They're the It's It's like we're It's, you know, March Madness just finished up. They're a 16 seed that's hanging with the one seed right now. You know what I mean? You know, maybe 16 is unfair cuz we're not a one seed anymore.
We're a two seed. So, there are 15.
>> But you know what's >> China is definitely the one seed. It's one bracket. Uh yeah, we'll do this through the this through college basketball.
>> But you know what's odd to me though?
>> What's that?
>> When you go on YouTube, every expert is like, "Hey, man, this is looking bad for the US."
>> And I'm like, I know somebody told them that before the YouTube man knew.
>> No, I don't think they did.
>> No way this information got to me before them.
>> I really don't think they did, dude.
>> I mean, it's mountains, man. They're like, "Let's [ __ ] go, dude." He says something. They're like, "Yeah, we're going to show them after, you know, people are saying he's getting he gets black dominatrixes that that's his thing that he like the the drunk secretary of defense." You got, you know, Lindsey Graham being secretly gay. I think they were all kind of hopped up. They're on a they're on a they're on a heater. I mean, we've all been there when you think you and your boys can [ __ ] somebody up easily and then you end up getting your ass kicked. I don't think, look, unfortunately, I don't think the great Satan aka the US uh is going to lose in Iran. I think hopefully we get the [ __ ] out of there quick. You know, it's 420. Hopefully they blow a nice maybe [ __ ] Trump and then you Ayatollah got to smoke weed on 420.
Okay, listen. I'm against PE podcasters having Trump on their show, but if the Ayatollah and Trump will sit down on Staly's World and smoke weed, maybe we have to put them on Kush Brothers. We'll put that episode behind the payw wall, okay? Cuz it's not about views. I'm not cynically inviting Trump and the new Ayatollah on for views. I'm doing it to heal cuz as we all know, podcasters when they get involved in politics, it always ends up good. It always ends up really good. And and you know something, I thought about that as I said my little take there. I was like, man, >> I have such a small knowledge of course.
>> I'm basing everything I'm saying off of three videos.
>> That's fine, dude.
>> No literature.
>> Sometimes it's vibes and the vibes are bad here.
>> You got to realize, bro, people got to process. My my my position in this world is to just throw stuff out.
>> Of course. Of course. Of course.
>> You know what I'm saying? There shouldn't be no I feel like >> don't hold to account. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure.
>> Up until you get a big enough audience where you can change the the course of things.
>> Yes. A comedian should be able to say the most ridiculous [ __ ] of all time.
Unfortunately, the world has gotten so bad that there is no other media that has control of anything other than I guess Mr. Beast and like the Italian uh AI characters.
>> Yeah. I feel like the [ __ ] little wooden bat and the [ __ ] you know, I feel like those characters and podcasters are now like, you know, like [ __ ] uh Clark Gable or some [ __ ] It's just like that like like [ __ ] uh that's just our that's that's our only culture. That's our only export is podcasting and AI brain rot characters.
>> And can I say something? I appreciate about you.
>> I'm glad that your the steals on you YouTube ain't got that big shine on it.
I hate the big shine on the YouTube.
>> That's only because Elvis doesn't know how to do it. I'm sure you >> talking about What do you mean the big shine?
>> Like when you go on like a famous YouTuber, when you look at the steel photo, they they got that that AI shine on it. Oh, like that's super Yeah. Yeah.
>> Like it's lit in a weird. It's artificially lit.
>> I'm sure elders would love to do some out of fashion.
>> I've personally made a few of those where I really up crank that contrast up.
>> Of course you have. Yeah. Of course you have. And it is that is your role in the organization is to have someone with the lowest common denominator of taste because you would be [ __ ] watching Mr. If dude if you were live right now you would be the dumbest person of all time. How much you how much you just have just uh supplicated yourself to AI.
All I think about when I do this podcast, when we're picking the clips, is what would I chuckle at while I'm taking a [ __ ] on the toilet and I let that guide my taste for everything we put out >> and what's big, bright, and shiny looking. And uh you know, >> that's fine. We don't have to talk about your [ __ ] your media uh strategy elders. Let's get back to these donuts.
>> But but yeah, this but that's a mastermind at work though.
>> It's really not, Mandal. I promise you he is not a mastermind at all and he's barely at work.
>> Hey, >> it's a middle mind. It's a middle mind occasionally working.
>> I'm the execs that have to, you know, show the creatives the way to help.
>> You're not an exec. You're my uh underling. Let's Let's make that very clear. There's a clear hierarchy in this organization.
>> Sweet with you. You're barely in you're you're just you're in this sweet seauite because it's a function of we have almost no employees.
>> He do got on a collar shirt though.
>> He does. And by the way, every editor that we hire is so much more crucial to our [ __ ] they could learn your job so fast. You should be [ __ ] sweating when we get in the office cuz once I start talking to people who actually have technical ability at this dude, you're [ __ ] You're going to be [ __ ] You're going to be the janitor thing you office dude. You're going to get a demotion.
>> I I get under the hood, man. Sometimes a boss has to roll his sleeves up and do the >> boss. You're not the boss.
>> The manager.
>> There we go. I'll give you that. You are a middle manager. That is what you were always meant to do.
>> He has such a zen approach to >> He does. No. No. I I do envy Eldest is that's why our that is honestly why our friendship works cuz if Eldest was even a little irritable, >> we're [ __ ] >> Yeah.
>> We need to like That's the plus. That's the plus. That's what c that's the the the silver lining that comes with someone who is not reactive at all. You know what I mean? Elvis is never ahead of the curve. He's never affected. He will do what he was tasked to do. Even if it's stupid, even if clearly you should pivot.
>> He's never going to do that. But that's positive. You know, that has its positives.
>> I'm in the cut, man. I'm ready for action. But, you know, never never uh >> You're really not, though. You're one of the least ready for action guys of all time.
>> But that's cuz he above 6 feet. Bro, >> that's true.
>> When you tall, the >> very tall talking about a tall cat is like we like whoa.
>> That's a good point.
>> Put him in the cage.
>> There is actually a type of uh obviously look I have no sympathy for the tall.
>> They have they have the easiest lives of all time.
>> 100% one of the it is the equivalent. it like a hot a woman can be hot in like a hundred ways.
>> If we're being realistic, tall is the overall like trump card.
>> Yeah.
>> In in terms of male attractiveness because some women just want a giant >> [ __ ] you know, homunculus to make them look small and feel small, right?
>> And let me say this, that junk is rational.
>> Rational looking for a tall man.
>> It it it is rational and >> evolutionary. You mean like >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like on some like on some like if we all going to war >> protect Yes.
>> You know what I'm saying? If you wanted somebody who could see the >> Sure.
>> see above the crowd.
>> Now you could argue you could get a spear right through your [ __ ] big big huge tall head by being above the crowd.
>> Yeah. But I'm saying I think the I think the guns or whatever ain't coming in the DNA.
>> You know what I'm saying? That's we built around the thing.
>> I know what you mean. I think it's purely become symbolic. Okay, fair >> because no chance >> is Eldus who you want to take you through the [ __ ] forest.
>> You know what I mean? Like Eldest is bonking his head on [ __ ] on branches.
You know what I mean? He's he's also like tripping easily.
>> It's the bigger they are, the harder they fall. If we're being honest, you want if we're now we're just like if I was a woman in the in the medieval times, who would I let [ __ ] me? I think I would look for something closer to six feet.
>> Listen, man.
>> I like how the options are our three bodies.
>> No, we aren't even discussing us yet. We >> I would get the leg extension, bro.
>> You would get the leg extension surgery.
>> I would get it, bro.
>> I don't know. I seen the >> recovery is crazy.
>> But once I seen the video of the dude doing a crossover and he did that big jump. You seen him do that? You know what I'm talking about? I know the guy with the dress. Dude, he got up. He did this.
>> Yeah, that's that was big.
>> Nah, >> that was big. That was big for the leg for the leg extension community cuz you could argue until then it was about stilt. It looked like they were on stilts >> for sure. Still the recovery is crazy.
>> I'm not.
>> It's like a year. It's like a year of your life.
>> But one year away, bro. One year away.
And now >> Yeah.
>> Fly like an eagle.
>> Well, you're not playing You're never playing hoops. Absolutely. The excuse I had always had at not being good at basketball was the fact that I'm short.
So you think in your mid30s, you've been fat your whole life. You get bigger shins, it will immediately allow you to play hoops.
>> Yes. Yes. I'm going TO THE LA FITNESS immediately after recovery. I'm going straight to LA Fitness. I'm I'm dunking on cats. I'm dunking on cats.
>> I don't know about this plan, dude.
>> I'm crossing somebody up, man. Did you play What's the highest uh stage of organized basketball you played?
>> Uh wreck ball when I was eight.
>> I played No, eight or nine. Nope. Nine.
Nine. Wreck ball at 9 and 10 years old.
>> Nine and 10. That's just when they start dribbling, right? Cuz I feel like I've seen >> we I mean it's Atlanta was dribbling like seven. But what I'm saying is what I'm saying is you put that ball in my hand today. It's a lot of the goal is farther away from you.
>> Sure.
>> I'm 61 6'2.
>> Okay.
>> I'm windmill dunk.
>> You think 6'2?
>> You can windmill at 6'2.
>> WHAT? I'M THROWING IT OFF THE BACKBOARD.
>> Steph I believe is 63, right?
>> Steph Curry, one of the greatest athletes of all time. He focused on >> 63 and he doesn't dunk that much.
>> He's focused on the shooting aspect. I'm I'm I'm going >> How old is Steph right now?
>> He's probably 35 36.
>> 38. Oh wow. Steph's 38. Okay. So Steph hasn't dunked in I believe it's been I think it was like see the last time he dunked. I think it's like a couple seasons ago he dunked in game and again that's one of the greatest athletes of all time. And you're how old right now Mandall?
>> I'm 32. 32. Okay. So, you're 6 years younger. Let's say you have some commitments.
>> Let's say you don't get to the leg lengthening surgery until, I don't know, the end of this year.
>> Let's just say top of next year to just be safe, right? So, January 27. So, January 28, you're fully healed, right?
>> At that point, you would be that's two years. So, you'd be 34 >> and you have again been very fat your whole life.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> I'm listening to >> and unathletic. Yeah. Yeah.
>> And so you would be four years younger than Steph Curry is right now. And Elvis, when was the last time he dunked in game?
>> Last time he dunked was March 2025 against the Sixers, but the time before that was February 21st, 2019, >> right? So Steph when he was your age was not dunking in the NBA. But you think you think in two years time you'd be able to windmill dunk with a leg extension surgery? Now, let me I've got all that information.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> You thinking as a as I am with a 56 brain.
>> Sure.
>> You don't realize that once I get that 6'2 brain metabolically metabolically, I'mma be in a different place.
>> Okay.
>> Steph chose to use his powers towards shooting.
>> Right. Right.
>> When I get my new set of powers, >> right, right, right, >> it's time to j You're Yeah. You're 66, right? When's the last time you dunked?
>> I've never dunked in my life.
>> Interesting. And he used and he using it he using his power for YouTube.
>> He's not though. That's another thing.
That's another bad example. He's got plenty of power left over. This has never used his full power and anything in his life.
>> I got to I got to conserve the brain power to get these clips off to get that contrast just right.
>> He never uses he using his fanges. He typing all type of stuff. I can reach the Y the P key with my pinky over there. That's huge, man.
>> Cuz think about a proportionate goal right now. If you used to What's this about 7 feet right here?
>> Uh I would say yeah, let's say it is.
>> I'll do windmill on this right now.
>> You would dunk on a sevenfooter.
>> I could I could windmill this right now.
If you add a foot to me, >> then I'm doing it on a regular goal.
>> 8t.
It's a multiplier. It's a multiplier on the on the on the leg strip.
>> Listen, man. I I'm with you. I would love to get the leg lengthening. Uh but it's just the you know the the recovery is too much. You know, >> one year for y'all >> where you [ __ ] up is you were you were coveting basketball players growing up. You should have immed You didn't play football.
>> I No, I play I play >> You got to be a lineman, man. You got to be in the trenches, dude.
>> I was I was a defensive I was defensive end.
>> I was Oh, defensive end. I was a nose tackle.
>> Oh, that's >> right there. right in front of the center, dude. You know, that's where you [ __ ] up. You're trying to fly >> right now. You're like a You're a You're a [ __ ] Dude, you're not a sky type.
You're a rock type, dude.
>> You're [ __ ] geo, dude. Bro, >> I I think you're trying to be up there.
>> L li limit our scientific advances. You get what I'm saying?
The the once I get the bread up under me, >> you would be a marvel if from now, >> right? And let's look, let's give you the benefit of the doubt. You're you're getting ready for this surgery. So, you're probably going to get in the zone. You know, you're going to get your diet right. Maybe we'll get some we'll get some steroids going. Yeah.
>> You know, we're going to get some tea going.
>> Uh so, you're going to get more. So, I it it actually would be an incredible art project to dedicate your life to dunking one time.
>> That's what I'm saying. I actually I have now shifted >> and instead of this being a stupid dream for a fat man who who's coveted height his whole life >> now as an artist to say can I transform can I we've talked about the co we like to talk about the metaphorical cocoon here right and to come out as a butterfly you're saying what if I could really legitimately get into the cocoon >> what if you're in your laral stage right now and it's time to get jacked it's time to get 6'2 and that's we're adding 6 inches. Folks, you know me. I'm a glasses man. I'm a dedicated glasses user for over 15 years at this point in my life. And it's always I always find it quite the hassle to find the right frames. I got a huge noggin. You know, I got to I got to I I it's hard for me to understand what's going to really look good on this on this beautiful face.
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>> And think about that dude in you seen that you seen that dude on YouTube. I know you be on YouTube. That dude with with that with that pale skin who deaging himself. You know what I'm talking about?
>> Of course. Brian Johnson.
>> Brian Johnson. Yeah.
>> Him. Y'all y'all know that dude?
>> Yeah. Yeah. We don't know him personally. No, no. We would love Brian if you're listening. We'd love to have you on.
>> We would love to have you on.
>> He drinking his son blood.
Of course, we talked about that quite a bit. I think he's not not only that, I believe. Yeah. He's me measuring his [ __ ] hardness against his teenage son's [ __ ] hardness, which is a wild wild type of science to be doing to be putting I assume it's like a [ __ ] uh uh blood pressure cuff that you put around your son's penis and be like, "Yep, my shit's getting as hard as my son's dick."
>> Now, think about this. He aging himself like this.
>> Sure.
>> I don't think it's working. By the way, he looks he looks [ __ ] like he looks bad. He looks kind of just like he's become kind of gay, >> which is cool, which is a funny thing for a tech guy to look like, but it's the glassiness of his skin that's weird to me.
>> Yeah, the skin is hanging off the skeleton.
>> His skin's not looking good. He's kind of skeleton, you know what I'm saying?
>> And maybe that's a maybe that is a tone thing, but he looks unwell. Like he looks Maybe it's all the algae cuz he looks a little green. Have you seen what he eats?
>> It's like a [ __ ] algae smoothie.
Yeah. Yeah. It looks like [ __ ] Maybe it's turning him less, >> you know, less vital. Less And look, I know Brian's watching this. He's like, "These guys are going to die. They're fat as shit."
>> Yeah. Yeah. We're setting ourselves up cuz >> How old is he? Brian Johnson. He's in his 50s.
>> But yeah, we are definitely, you know, >> we're setting ourselves up cuz they going to look at us.
>> They going to look at us and be like, >> "We would say that.
We're haters, etc. But that's why I would love to have him on cuz it's and honestly for that matter, somebody like although Brian Johnson at least is an adult with a fully formed brain.
Somebody like that kid clavvicular. I would love to have like a Lincoln Douglas debate about the way you look at the way you look at yourself verse like we would be the two sides of of like how to live your life cuz he's like all that matters is your body. All that matters is no enjoyment. He's sort of like an even more like Brian Johnson at least >> Mhm. has this thing where clearly have you seen a picture of him when he was when he was like cuz he what was he like PayPal or some [ __ ] or some some tech [ __ ] he made a so much money and you look at a picture of him back then he just looks like a schlubby shitty engineer in some ways he's doing what you're discussing except for him because he's a [ __ ] you know dork tech [ __ ] who they have to be they they they have to care about legacy which is like nobody legacy is the dumbest [ __ ] of all one generation you will be forgotten.
You need to be the greatest of all. Like you need to be the greatest of at your thing to get four generations. Yeah.
Like dude, just now people were talking about like um Caleb uh what's his face from the Bears? He wanted to he wanted to trademark the nickname Iceman, which is something no one's ever called him.
He did it himself. And George Gervin is the Iceman. He's a [ __ ] legendary uh you know, one of the [ __ ] coolest players of his generation.
>> Nobody [ __ ] like uh we're in our 30s.
We sort of know him. We sort of know him from like if if you're a Hoops fan, you you're aware of him. NBA Street, all the legend stuff from from 2K. That's how you kind of keep in touch. Kids now don't have any [ __ ] clue. And that guy was awesome, dude. And that's not that long ago. I bet you kids don't know who like Dr. J, for example. They don't know who the [ __ ] And that's the '7s to now. 50 years, whatever.
People worry about legacy are [ __ ] idiots.
>> You will be forgotten, bro. There's like eight guys that randomly get remembered and they just got lucky. Jesus, you know, Julius Caesar, you know what I mean? Alexander the Great. You have to do so much. And you honestly to have legacy, you kind of have to be a sociopath. That's the only the only people we remember from history are people who like [ __ ] killed the most guys essentially. Anyway, clearly that's a guy he he wants to be remembered. He wants to still be a scientist, but ultimately he didn't want to be fat and he wanted to get [ __ ] That's really what it is from Brian Johnson. So Brian Johnson at least is like it's a nerd trying to be his version of like he won't admit hot, but I bet that has something to do with it. He's saying it's health and he wants to be remembered for being for living forever and it's this ego [ __ ] that he has to basically time travel. He thinks he's going to be around for 300 years, right?
Insane.
That's I at least can I know where he's coming from. These kids, this kid that kid is like what 22. He doesn't even know. This is how he's always been. He's never He's like this kid who [ __ ] smashes. He's 20. Jesus Christ. He's some kid who talks about like you you have to look a certain way. You have to like He's the kid who talk about looks maxing and all this other [ __ ] And I think it's just honestly an autistic kid whose uh obsession is like looking good, but they have no joy in their lives.
They don't know what it's like to eat a to get [ __ ] high and eat a pastry on a Sunday at 300 p.m. after you've just spent the evening with a woman who doesn't respect you but has huge tits.
They don't they don't know how beautiful a day like that is. watching a movie on your [ __ ] t watching [ __ ] throwing on I don't know Cobra for example throwing Cobra on at an Airbnb you know what I mean ordering pizza getting some eating some [ __ ] even though it'll give you cervical cancer apparently or you get cancer through the cervix or whatever the [ __ ] Michael Douglas style they don't know that's the beauty of life is you have to do things that will destroy you only the most beautiful things in life will destroy you and and you know so anyway I would love to have him on.
>> Yeah.
>> Uh and but that's my opposing philosophy is like >> then you're not even living if all you're doing is [ __ ] you're in a [ __ ] pod at 7:00 p.m. cuz it's optimal to sleep from 7 to 4:00 a.m. and from [ __ ] 4 to [ __ ] 5 your red light therapy or whatever. And listen, could I stand to adopt a little more of that style of life? Sure.
>> That's not what we're talking about here. Everybody's like a fat piece of [ __ ] I'm just saying not why what what happened to [ __ ] the enjoyment meter?
>> You know what I mean? Why why isn't that part of like why why why isn't anybody trying to have a good time? That's what I don't [ __ ] get. So anyway, I would love to have Brian Johnson on here. And yes, some will say we're being haters, but we're not. I think we're gentlemen that like, you know, sure, we have pro, we have our issues, but we we enjoy we're enjoying ourselves or we're trying to anyway. Yeah, I agree. I think I think that I think that definitely it's you got to have some balance. Like I definitely think like you said >> I could pick up a salad a little more >> often >> than I do.
>> You could do a little you could if your goal is to dunk instead of thinking about the maybe you could do a little you know >> I could get a pushup in every now and then >> you know a little there.
>> But I I definitely think you you can't be obsessed with trying to uh make things in your control that's not >> that's a great way to look at it. We have control over almost nothing.
>> Yeah. Um you could try your best but you know I think it could it can get obsessive you know. Yeah, you can't obsess. So, and ultimately, if we want to get philosophical, is the body even you? Are you the body?
Are you a different essence? I think probably whatever your soul, whatever the [ __ ] that I think it's probably brain, >> but there's an argument to be made that it's maybe it's not the brain at all.
Maybe just some kind of [ __ ] you're a ghost and in your body. Is the body really what you are? Mhm.
>> That's the thing about some like these young kids who it's like they just decided it's time to just purely objectify yourself. I guess that's the [ __ ] this is the logical conclusion to this much [ __ ] growing up with consumerism and like all you know and and and trying to get attention. But it's like you used to get attention to try and get to get people to [ __ ] you. That's the that's the that's the beauty that maybe that's what maybe we've gotten to what what has what has alarmed me about these guys the most. Yeah.
>> I bet you the first time a [ __ ] drew on a cave in like prehistoric France to you know me doing comedy whatever and to every Mozart [ __ ] guitar players, dancers, rappers, [ __ ] even athletes, whatever businessmen for that matter. Everything everything has been done to get to to for almost like to improve your uh sexual currency. And these guys now have taken that out. It doesn't even seem like they like to get [ __ ] It seems like they want other dudes to say they're [ __ ] hot.
>> Yeah.
>> You know what I mean?
>> I feel like we commodify.
>> Maybe they're gay, which is fine. If they were gay, I would I would respect it so much more, >> but I don't think they are.
>> Yeah.
>> I think they just But yes. Yes.
Attention. I think they commodified attention. I think that it was a thing.
I think now it's like you you have a numeric value on how much attention you have.
>> That's a good point.
>> And I think that and I think that what happened was now people people are consistently trying to win that as a game of some sorts.
>> Yeah.
>> And the biggest thing I noticed was that with the YouTube or even with putting out content, what I kind of struggle with in my in my own career is that >> eventually you run out of stuff.
>> Yeah. Like you you're a person that runs out of things and I've noticed whenever somebody runs out of thing they start reaching.
>> Yeah.
>> And eventually when you reach long enough you go find some trash.
>> Yeah. Absolutely.
>> Like hey bro I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure uh health man what's my man name?
>> Brian Johnson.
>> I'm pretty sure he done he done gave us all the information he could probably six months ago. I I believe I mean I think he's really pivoted to he had like a you know the girl was fine looking a cute goth girlfriend that was much not even goth I think she just was a brunette but there was like I a couple months ago he just he did like eat Taco Bell like he he pivoted to oh now I'm doing bad stuff now and then he started doing like mushrooms and [ __ ] which is at least interesting but yes >> eventually he you're right you run out of something and yes people. You can't keep going to that well when it's empty. It's [ __ ] embarrassing.
>> And I think, bro, I think I think like we become a little insatiable with the intention. Like we never have enough.
It's always another thing that you could get. And so I think the only way to curb that is >> releasing yourself from that desire.
>> Oh yes. But I think that >> if you're speaking my language, >> but if you came up as a person where that was in the zygeist to always search for that in some capacity, >> you kind of just stuck in a loop, bro.
>> Yeah.
>> I think that's what be I think a lot of young people were bestowed upon something. They grew up in it.
>> Yeah.
>> Where at least in our age bracket, we have some reality before that.
>> Sure. Sure.
>> But if that's your entire thing, you that's all you know.
>> Yeah. I think we all grew up in the sort of like consumerism, the like dark side of the capitalist [ __ ] is that you just got to keep making money no matter what.
>> You can't just >> you can't just like have a profitable business.
>> Yeah.
>> And just like, oh, I pay my bills. This is great. The whole idea of capitalism was you have to keep getting more and more. You have to destroy your enemies and you have to [ __ ] you have to be the only business and uh you know a and like at least and and the internet has just supercharged that completely because you're right. I think you nailed it when you said they got to make they want to make a number or they want to be you you have to you have to assign numeric value to things that are just ethereal, >> right? Even looks even trying to be like you'll see these [ __ ] insane people.
They'll put a picture of maybe the hottest woman you've ever seen in your life and they'll be like 6.2 filtrum is degraded. You know what I mean? Like they know about parts of the body that no no human being that's not how beauty should be judged, right?
Beauty should be a [ __ ] ethereal thing that hits you in a certain way and and you start acting a little strange >> because you see something beautiful. You know what I mean? It affects your chem.
It does. Maybe it is chemical on some level, but I don't want to understand that. I want to [ __ ] I want to exist in poetry.
>> I want to feel, bro.
>> Yeah. I don't want I don't want to just in a technical manual. I want to exist in a poem.
>> I learned that through I learned that through trying to get a little healthier. I lost a little weight, right? And I feel like when I first was I was looking at all them people on YouTube >> and then eventually you learn just eat the salad.
Like it's really Yeah, you can get into the nittygritty of it, but it could be not no burger. No vegetable. Yes. Dude, it's even What's pathetic? What's pathetic is it's even simpler than that.
Sometimes it's like, >> don't eat the fries.
>> Get the You know what? Get the burger.
Get the burger and eat a [ __ ] apple.
And it's like just cuz this this month I've been so [ __ ] busy that I haven't been able to cook for myself at all. And I've been ordering out a lot. But >> it hasn't been And it's not great. But in the past, if I ordered out for a month straight, I would gain 10 pounds no matter what. But I've just been getting like chicken and [ __ ] rice and yes, a [ __ ] veggie on the side or some [ __ ] But yeah, it is very simple.
>> Yeah. I think I think that we I'm telling you I think that everybody just got to make peace with they are it's enough.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> You did it >> totally, dude. And I think that so much of uh I I feel like I feel like once we start making >> I think we have to get back to having finding value in the things that we do every day instead of the result.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> Because I think that cuz I think that if you go if you're like hey I got to get the number you'll never have enough of that.
>> No no >> you know but you even in comedy like you can always get bigger and bigger venues but if you kind of put more of the self-esteem in and like I am doing a good product for these >> in the art. Yeah. For sure. This is the thing.
>> I feel like that's more fulfilling. You know what I'm saying?
>> You're 100% right. It's the classic the journey is more important than the thing, which I've been thinking about a lot. Obviously, that's sort of my [ __ ] I mean, what you're talking about is where what I've been struggling with and trying to figure out. Um, but you know, and yeah, day-to-day enjoyment in what you do is [ __ ] crucial. It is funny when people say that about they're like, "It's about the journey, not the destination." and they'll use the Odyssey as a as an example, but I I've I've read the I've been reading the Odyssey just the Nolan movies got got me pumped. So, I've been reading I read a couple different versions of it. And it's funny when they use that example because the Odyssey is maybe the only one where that's not true. The whole point of the Odyssey is the destination.
The entire He wasn't having He didn't learn on the journey. He was being a [ __ ] [ __ ] and cheating on his [ __ ] wife and and killing, you know, and [ __ ] with uh Cyclopses. But that's a little that's my classics take.
>> We've gotten to philosophy and classical literature. Yeah.
>> Um but >> I will say this though.
>> Yeah, >> the Ry's Donuts is very good.
>> Yeah. Let's get back to though. I did so Ry's Donuts in LA. It I have had it.
Remember, dude, remember after the LA special, elders?
>> That was one of the best days of our lives, dude. We I We had to do something after the Baltimore special, which is in four days as we all know. It is 420 after all.
>> Um but we had a great day where we got a bunch. It might have been Ry's Donuts and we got a [ __ ] ins me, George G.
Me, Eldest, and our pal Straight George.
Uh, and me and Elders did a bunch of [ __ ] mushrooms. Was it mushrooms or acid?
>> Uh, we did shrooms.
>> We did shrooms. And George drove us around in a [ __ ] car while we're eating donuts and going to different LA places. That's one of the best days.
>> Yeah. Yeah. I think I definitely think that the um >> Are you a donuts guy overall?
>> I I am, man. I'm rocking.
>> They're so good. I I stepped away from donuts for years and then man >> the donut and coffee move.
>> It's good. It's a classic for a reason, man.
>> It's a classic for a reason.
>> It's a pretty It's such a simple idea for something to taste good.
>> We going to take some bread and we going to dip it in sugar. We're going to fry it first. Yeah. Yeah. We're not baking this [ __ ] We're frying it.
>> Dip it in sugar. It's like, "Hey, man.
This is a sin.
>> That's awesome.
>> Like this is the this is delicious and it's negative.
>> Yeah, you're right. It's certainly sinful.
>> You're like, "Dang, bro." Like this is all the things that could be bad.
>> You did turn something pure and a way to feed yourself into a symbol of excess.
>> Yeah. There's nutritional value.
>> No. No. Certainly not. No, certainly not. Yeah. In your hierarchy of desserts, where does where do donuts lay?
>> Wow. Whoa.
>> Yeah. This is now we now we get to the real stuff.
>> Enough about the cease the emptiness of ceaseless success through capitalism.
Let's get to the fact let's get to the point.
>> Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Let's get to the the brass tax. What is your your dessert hierarchy? Okay. So, I I feel like honestly I'm a big donut guy, but >> respect.
>> I wouldn't say cakes over donuts. I would not. You wouldn't. You wouldn't.
Great.
>> But I would say red velvet cake is my favorite dessert.
>> Really?
>> A good red velvet cake.
>> Really? Elders is shaking his head in approval here. I don't know that I agree.
>> I I don't I don't quite approve that.
I'm I'm a little surprised. I'm a little says Red Velvet.
>> Now, I Now, here's where we want to plunge into very upset about Red Velvet slander.
>> Well, can you can you can you make the case? Because I'll be honest with you.
To me, Red Velvet is a classic just mid-tier cake.
>> Okay, I want to leave a podcast and >> I don't want to do this for you. Listen, listen. Let me say this. I do think that people who say that have not had a good rev. >> That's fair. And I will say we have a very hilarious something hilarious in our life happened where a friend of ours growing up. He's People don't know him.
He's not a We have not made him a character in any way on the pod. Just a guy growing up in Greek Town one time.
He thought he was [ __ ] blood, but he ate a whole weekend. He went to the [ __ ] ER and they were like, they're this is the level OF LIKE WE HAVE FAT GUYS YOU GUYS DON'T EVEN know about. We haven't told you. We me and Elvis grew up around the type of fat guy that it it's he's >> the fat they would blow your minds if we described the level of obese that we grew up around. This guy was so [ __ ] fat he ate a whole red velvet cake.
[ __ ] what he thought was blood was rushed to the emergency room. People are like, "He's going to [ __ ] die. He's got colon cancer." And the doctors were like, they had to get like Dr. House in there. They're like, "We've never seen this much blood." They got their expert.
And they're like, "What did you eat?"
And they were like, and he was and he was like, "Oh, not much." And then they're like, and then eventually I got cake. And they're like, "Oh, what kind of cake?" Like red velvet. They're like, "Oh, okay. But you must have like a slice." Usually. He's like, "No, I ate an entire red velvet cake."
And they're like, "Get the [ __ ] out of here, you fat." Like, I'm I'm certain I wasn't there, obviously. I'm certain in that moment he had to experience fat phobia. I think the doctors must have been like, "You fat [ __ ] You just you just [ __ ] used all our resources for 2 hours while we're trying to figure out where this blood is coming from."
>> Cuz imagine looking at the red velvet boo like, "H, >> what is the source?"
>> AND IT DIDN'T EVEN DAWN on it. this.
He's so fat and stupid, by the way, that it didn't even dawn on him that Red Velvet might be part of it.
>> He wasn't like any cuz I've I've had some atrocious shits and I'm like, nah, that's >> I deserve that. That's I ate my way to that type of dump.
>> But anyway, go somewhere.
>> Now, here's the thing, Mandal. Let's talk about Red Velvet. Let's get into this. Okay. My hunch is that there is >> you have an emotional connection to Red Velvet.
>> You lost me.
>> You really don't think so? you. It wasn't like a thing you ate growing up.
>> I think red velvet is the best case.
>> IT'S JUST CHOCOLATE WITH D. IT'S NOT.
WHY DO PEOPLE SAY THAT? IT'S NOT. IT'S IT'S NEVER BEEN CHOCOLATE. PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY IT'S CHOCOLATE. IT'S NOT CHOCOLATE.
>> Y'ALL HAVE Y'ALL HAVE TASTED CHOCOLATE CAKE. It's >> just It's a coco in it.
>> Coco in it.
>> But But people >> Tell me what Find Do a little research.
>> But people are so like People so busy on on on boxing it in.
>> Sure.
>> PEOPLE LIKE, "OH, IT GOT COCOOS IN IT.
IT GOT TO BE CHOCOLATE. RELAX.
>> I'm with you there.
>> People People are all type of things.
Cakes are all type of varieties.
>> What would you discuss? What would you describe the flavor profile of Red Velvet? Cuz I'm having a hard time coming up with anything unique >> to Red Velvet.
>> Cocoa X essence.
>> Mhm.
>> With cream cheese icing.
>> It's the cream cheese that does it for you.
>> It's It's killing.
>> So, the fact that it's a more subtle chocolate varietal with a cream cheese icing.
>> Yes.
>> And here's the thing about Red Velvet.
Red velvet is you can make it bad. You can >> So like great example, you could get a good chocolate cake, a good birthday cake down at the uh at the fart factory if you sheet. We have one thing America has done very well is we have perfected sheetcake birthday sheetcake technology.
>> You go to Costco, >> get you a sheetcake. That's good [ __ ] But if you get into pound cake, >> German chocolate, red velvet, that's when you going to have to have a craftsman involved.
>> I agree with you there.
>> And I think that what happened is people have been so overexposed >> to poorly made red velvet that they have allowed that to shade their opinion over the food.
>> Sure.
>> But we got to remain open-minded.
>> I'm open-minded. If I'm if I'm anything, it's open-minded to cake. If I if we're anything on this podcast, >> matter of fact, let me know when you next time you go to Atlanta. I bet >> we're going. Yeah, we'll be there. I need to know. I'll go wherever you send me.
>> Okay. Go go go to this place called Sammy Cheesecake. Sammy Cake Cheesecake Place.
>> I'm listening.
>> But they got a red velvet.
>> I love this. This is This is like This is like a fat speak easy. You're like, "Now you're going to go to the Cheesecake Place, >> but they because of the cheesecake the the cheesecake icing is next level." And I'm assuming >> I'm going to be honest. I didn't put that together until you just said it.
>> I think that's probably what it is. I'm just guessing here.
>> You go down to Sammy Cheesecake. Get Get it with the pecans in it. Don't get it without the pecans.
>> Okay.
>> Get that slice.
>> Get it with the pecans. Now I'm starting to think this is a cultural thing >> in Atlanta.
>> I'm starting to think black people black people must do red velvet in a way that has not crossed over.
>> I'm I'm open to that reality.
>> I think that must be what it is that reality >> because you're talking to guys who know cakes here.
>> Yeah. I'm never >> and and maybe and Baltimore I don't it was never really a thing. Maybe it's a southern southern black thing might be the best Red Velvet that >> I I'm I'm I'm pretty sure that could play >> that has to that has and I do like what you're saying though where people that you will at least admit that the average is a higher degree of difficulty cake.
So that because what people see most of the time is a mid the mid version of a red velvet cake is bad in my opinion.
But you're saying judge it on the top level >> cuz here's my thing. I'm judging it based on people's best cells.
>> And I respect that.
>> And I think that the best red velvet is leaps and bounds better than the best chocolate.
>> Now this is interesting.
>> I I think that I think that we need to go with a double chocolate cake. And you gave me a red velvet. I guarantee we go blindfold test just straight flavor palette the red velvet.
>> I like this. What we have to do, we have to figure something out during the holidays and we have to have a like a tournament of cakes.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> And we have to and it will be [ __ ] We might have to do all fat fat November or fat December and we might cuz we got some between >> the whole fat house crew. We get Mandal, we get [ __ ] Are you garbage? We get >> I'm with this.
>> We We get uh We get uh Gabriel. We We We need to get some fat lady representation as well.
>> You know what I think we should do?
>> What's that?
>> We should do this either before, after, and I think we should do a national >> comedian weight loss competition.
>> You know Reggie Conquest?
>> I love Reggie.
>> Me and Reggie been talking about doing this for like a year. We should gather up a bunch of comedians that have like a big like >> we So I am I am really thinking about uh and we don't want to, you know, I don't want to talk out of turn a little bit, but let's just say I Stavi gets ripped, the series I've been doing for a while.
We're thinking about adding some wrinkles to it. And I think getting some other comics involved could really help.
So this is good. No, no. I I think we need to figure something out about right around the holidays. We need to have >> a consecutive uh four fat four weeks of fat guests. And I think we need to judge cakes every week. I think I think we need to do and we're basically just stealing something from Doughboys. This feels like what Doughboys would do.
>> They just had Are you familiar with the Doughboys podcast?
>> I've heard of it.
>> You'd be great. We You got to get on it.
I got to talk cuz you know I'm trying to get cuz basically what we're talking about is this is an Avengers type thing for fat podcasters. We we might have to do it across like five different podcasts. We might have to join. We might have to do the like bandana red and blue guy holding it to talk cakes because to me and I would like each fat podcaster to bring one dessert >> and we you are judged solely by what you bring. And that way we take cuz there is a philosophical divide between the best the best uh like the best available thing like the average thing versus the best of the best. There is a philosoph whenever you're whenever you're like fruits is a great example when you're ranking fruits the best >> blackberry is incredible but most blackberries suck dick. You almost never get them ripe. mango the same the best mango may be the best thing of all time but when you get a hard weird mango that's [ __ ] sucks whereas a banana is never above a bee >> but pretty much every banana that's yellow tastes the same so there's a there's a apples to an apple if an apple's your favorite fruit you're a [ __ ] [ __ ] but a random apple is probably good probably solid but I'm never those are never what you gravitate towards so this is good on 420 you know we're all high as [ __ ] we got the munchies that's I were talking cakes on 420. We hatched the idea for the fat fat comedians. We got to come up with a better name, but the tournament of cakes.
>> They need an acronym.
>> We do need a Yeah, tournament of cakes is T O C. Not that. Not great. We got to work on the AC. Yeah. K. We need an old school like uh mid 2000s rap acronym.
You know how they really were forcing them for years. My favorite K.
>> Huh? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe the K. My favorite is chic. Remember chic elders?
The dip set was really reaching for chic. What was it? Swag.
>> Oh, I can't remember.
>> Do you remember what chic was? Look up the Joel Santana Chic.
>> But I will say this, we do need to get this done before I get my leg surgery cuz when I cuz when I get that I am turning my back on y'all.
>> Of course. Of course >> I am turning my back.
>> This will be the final.
>> I'm turning into Brian.
>> Yeah.
>> I get that leg surgery. I'm like, "Y'ALL PUT THEM BURGERS DOWN. Y'ALL STOP KILLING YOURSELF.
DUDE, I can't wait. I can't wait to [ __ ] to go through the [ __ ] Marvel. I'm going to just find who? The Marvel doctor.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> I'm not c I'm never going to be in a Marvel movie, but I'm just going to get the transformation cuz I listen, I'm mocking you about your leg surgery. But I have I'm dreaming the same dreams.
It's just mine are much more steroid steroid based where it's like ah look I'm not I have I hurt my back and I'll probably be dealing with this all year and the idea of recovery for a surgery that's like worse than this I'm never doing it but the idea of doing some [ __ ] >> steroids or peptide rich people be doing peptides now I'm doing all I'm figuring all the secret rich guy stuff >> I'm figuring it all out >> but you know something though this does make us hypocrites cuz we did just talk about being enough, >> right?
>> And now we trying to get tall and stuff.
>> But here's the thing. Here's the thing.
There is nothing that's another that's the flip side cuz sometimes the fat the fat activist stuff goes way too far.
>> Totally.
>> It's one thing to accept yourself for who you are, which is important.
>> Pretend, >> but let's uh this I think we've done this before where it's like, "All right, everybody everybody who's not fat, stop listening for a minute, okay, just us fat guys now and and gals. We should lose a couple pounds, right?" Yeah, we all need to be honest with ourselves.
>> We should all We've done this before. It might have been on an episode you were on.
>> We don't have to pretend.
>> But but it's important to accept who you are, where you are, but also it's fine to want to change and improve yourself.
That's the thing that pisses me off.
It's like, why is it have to be you're smashing your [ __ ] face with hammers to get your bone structure right or you're the fattest guy of all time who can't go upstairs and now and now every everyone has to. And listen, if you're legitimately disabled and that's you, and that's fine. People should have to [ __ ] make your life not a living hell.
>> But if you're just a guy like us who's who's who's had a couple too who's hit Sammy's Cheesecake a little too often, >> we got to be honest with ourselves here, man.
>> Yeah. And we don't want to get We don't want to get obsessed with black and white thinking, man. We can have some nuance. There's some nuance.
>> You can lose some weight while not also trying to, >> you know, never die.
>> Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course.
>> I think it's I think it's a little middle. Well, but I'm pretty sure everybody involved knows these things, too. That's what I'm saying. It's about the attention. It's I think all of it is >> people have find value and attention from the internet. So, you got to be as extreme as possible. You know what I'm saying?
>> Now, let's before we get to the questions, let's finish up. So, Red Velvet is number one to you. I was about to ask what's your favorite cake.
>> Okay. I would maybe this is similar because I because I'm going to say I like a bread pudding as my number one.
>> Interesting.
>> But very and and and now I'm understanding where you're where you're coming from because yes, a random bread pudding is is bad. Even though I like it. You give me some [ __ ] with raisins. It's not set the right way. But the [ __ ] best bread pudding to me, it's just my favorite cuz because of the breiness to it and you got to have it's got to have chocolate and it's got to be paired with a [ __ ] ice cream.
>> Okay.
>> It's got to go alam mode, right? Don't even [ __ ] look at me if you're having your favorite dessert and it's not alam mode.
>> I'm in my mode if I'm Alam mode.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you're not putting a [ __ ] scoop of the finest vanilla and it should be vanilla so that it can make whatever sing.
>> Yeah.
>> Right. Yeah, >> the ice cream should should be a it's a role player. It's setting picks. It's rebounding so that your main dessert can dunk, right?
>> Wow.
>> That's how I see the Alam mode. I I It works for apple pie. It works for [ __ ] cakes.
>> I didn't put pies in the mix.
>> Pies are pretty good.
>> Pies are pretty good >> to me. Pie is probably But what pie?
>> I'm a big I'm I'm basic, bro. I like a apple pie.
>> Apple's good. Yeah. Apple another apple alam mode. Apple Pie Alamote is incredible.
>> Yeah, especially the when the when the [ __ ] shit's a little crunchy.
>> Come on, man.
>> And you feel like you're eating fruit.
>> Go crust heavy.
>> Crust heavy. And you get me a springy apple, not a mushy ass apple.
>> Listen, >> I'll take it either way, by the way. But I like a >> Yeah.
>> If you want to get into the science of it, >> I hate to say it, bro. Grab them two apple pies at McDonald's, put them in the Mc Flurry with no with no topping.
Ooh, that's a whole other [ __ ] The tournament, the dessert tournament.
>> Yeah, I done did the science.
>> The dessert tournament is we There's two levels to it. There's the absolute best bakery. And then there's >> gas. What can you do at a gas station?
What can you do at a fast food restaurant? What can you do at a [ __ ] just, you know, and then like grab like, you know, we drop you within a [ __ ] >> That's that's fun, too. It's like there's different What can you do at a vending machine? What can you get done?
You know what I mean? Like there prison rules almost. When you see those videos of guys making [ __ ] chim changas with Doritos and [ __ ] dog food somehow, you're like, "How do they do that? Put this guy in [ __ ] the culinary."
>> My favorite video was somebody doing the incarcerated >> birthday cake.
>> Hell yeah.
>> And they like smashed some Twinkies and made some layers. And I was like, man, it's crazy, man. People are really resourceful.
>> Absolutely. The human spirit and creativity. In fact, that to me is so that is more artful to me than almost every type of online content.
>> I would rather watch I would see the p the pathos and the [ __ ] the heart that goes into these guys in jail. They just want their friend to have a nice birthday. They're doing their best.
Absolutely.
>> You know what I mean? They don't want to be here just dudes eating [ __ ] smashed up Twinkies. But for an hour, >> it's like you're [ __ ] at home with your with your family. And that's beautiful. And that is more that the the the artistic value of the of jail food is so much more powerful than a lot of people who make their living making art to be honest with you.
>> Yeah.
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>> Must be 21 plus.
Please drink responsibly. [ __ ] This is great. This has been a very philosophyheavy first part, >> which I love. Sometimes people got to see how we think on this [ __ ] beautiful program, but it's time to help the people, Eldest. So, why don't you [ __ ] >> play us a couple uh couple [ __ ] calls?
>> Stavi, Eldest, esteemed guest. Um, got a weird >> happy to have a state.
>> It's not that weird. All right, so here's what's up. Um, my daughter is 15.
She's pretty cool. She's got like good politics, believes in uh, you know, labor rights, not a racist, good things.
She's in art school. Uh, all around a cool kid. Um, very empathetic and, uh, cares deeply about her friends. So much so that when she found out that one of her friends uh was vaping in the bathroom at school, she was really bothered by this cuz she knows that vaping is for losers. Um unless you're using it to quit nicotine, in which case, good on you. But you know, 15-year-old should not necessarily be vaping. And uh she wants to help her friend.
>> Uh so she's torn. She doesn't want she she wants to know how to go about reporting her friend to the uh principles or whatever so that she gets caught or gets in trouble or something.
And I didn't raise no snitch and I'm a little Jesus. I got >> bothered by the fact that she's doing some coplike behavior.
>> Um she should just bully her friend and tease her relentlessly for vaping. Uh and maybe that'll work. But uh she wants to be a [ __ ] tattletail and I don't love that. So question, what do you do if your kid is trying to be a snitch?
>> Um, thanks very much. Love you.
>> This is tough.
>> Bye.
>> Because >> without question, I would rather have the kid vaping than the kid trying to figure out how to report her friend.
>> What?
>> Yeah. I I think >> you're Dude, you raised a [ __ ] dork.
And that's okay. You cuz we can you can ded someone and they start from that. I think that's that's fine. But man, this is a big moment. This is a big parenting moment.
>> I definitely think it I think you it's got to take the >> approach of preaching the loyalty between the friendship.
>> Yeah.
>> You know what I'm saying? Like that has more value >> than uh whatever the rule that she's trying to enforce. You know what I'm saying?
>> Sure. And it isn't he's in an interesting spot here because you risk this his kid clearly. And the funny thing is about 15 year olds is like they're really like 10 year olds.
Like mentally they're just like little ass kids. It's actually kind of cute when you see someone like like even all the way through even like first year of college. You have people who like are growing and you see them like like you you'll have like I have like a little cousin who's like he's kind of like a dude, right? Like they're in [ __ ] they're in high school like him and his little sisters >> and >> you know they [ __ ] he looks like a [ __ ] like at first glance if you're not paying attention like oh yeah that's like >> a grown a you know grown a grown person whatever a young adult. And then you [ __ ] talk to them and it's like they're [ __ ] little ass. They're dumb babies. Yeah. Right. It's a fun like God bless whoever teaches like middle school and [ __ ] and and high school. That's such a weird crazy thing to do.
>> Uh so this so you risk I think what's happening is your daughter is kind of running on middle to elementary school programming right now.
She's a little sheltered. This kind of happened to me. I remember when I had a friend who was trying to get [ __ ] when we were 15 and I was like what? girls will let us do that. And I was like, uh, that'd be all and you know, he throws like a party and I'm a [ __ ] loser because I'm It's like you It's like you're a little kid who doesn't understand it's even possible for you to [ __ ] because we just were we just lived like children. Like I mean, you could argue to this day I live like a little boy.
>> Like I just have a big ass TV. Me and my friend talk [ __ ] That's our job. You know what I mean? So, it's like he could by being like, you know, it's not really a big deal if your friend vapes. He could destroy he could turn his kid into being like, "Does anything matter?" And now she's getting [ __ ] up and now she's going hard the other way. So, it is a delicate spot to be in.
>> Absolutely. Cuz I I think you could def you definitely don't want to uh invalidate the the seriousness of the infraction to her. But I do think >> Yeah. It's kind of cute that her his daughter is 15 and thinks it's >> cra it's crazy that her friend is vaping. It's like you're 15, you [ __ ] dork. That is the age you're trying to do drugs, you're trying to drink, you're trying to do all this [ __ ] >> Um, >> but I think as you get older, you do realize how much value it is >> in community and and and your relationships beyond >> the things that are set upon us like what what we're supposed to do, what we're not supposed to do. And so I think >> and all that stuff's fake, by the way.
like like the idea that the the we actually have live in a society of rules >> is completely fake. There's no justice.
There's no like I think this is a good moment for her to realize what you're saying where >> what matters is the actual bonds you make with people. The real the like loyalty, the knowing that you can have their back >> cuz she his daughter is now operating in a world where >> well somebody's doing something wrong.
You go to authority who is infallible, who knows everything and will fix the situation.
>> And this is a good moment to teach your daughter that like her principal is probably a [ __ ] idiot.
>> You know what I mean? Authority is more often than not [ __ ] stupid, right?
Like they don't [ __ ] And what's what's important here or not not [ __ ] stupid, but not necessarily knows how to deal with things. And what's important here is to let her know like no, look, your friend may might be vaping. She might be going through something. It might be a phase. It might not be. She might v she might smoke her whole life, she might not. Uh but this is your friend who you need to be there for. And you also need to be like just talk to her about it. Bullying, making fun of her for smoking is one thing. like whatever. But it's just like you just have to let them know that uh you just what's way more important is to be there for your friend because look right now it's vaping which is kind of under control but there might be a time where they get in over their head and it's like now's not the time to go to authority I guess is maybe what I would say is that this is a really low-level infraction and you also need to tell your daughter she has to deal with things herself. This is a great opportunity to find this out because the stakes are low.
>> Yeah. And I think and I think there's nothing wrong with actually learning how to communicate concern to a friend.
>> Sure. Sure.
>> Directly and having value in that. It doesn't need to be beyond >> beyond the two people. It's like, hey, >> it's this person is important to me and I think that this is damaging to you.
Yeah.
>> And communicating that rather than trying to export the responsibility outside of themselves.
>> Yeah, that's fair. Now you go back and you think about being 15.
>> Oh, totally. Yeah.
>> And you're like, and you're like, >> you just wanted to stop.
>> You just wanted to stop. But it's also like how do you not see that go? Like I'm trying to think about being 15 and like telling a teacher on [ __ ] eldest. I I mean that to me that's there. The bigger problem is that this is even in your kid's thinking. I I mean like this is kind of insane where it's like maybe it's she's so scared of vape. Like it'd be like if Elvis was doing heroin to me, right?
>> Where I'm like I need to have an intervention, >> but she's just [ __ ] vaping. So it's like and it's it's also cute that she told her parents.
>> But this is a trusting individual.
>> But I think this is a definitely a sign of some level of solid moral compass.
>> Yeah, for sure.
>> May just be um >> That's a good point. misguided and misguided in execution. You know what I mean?
>> That's a really good point because she's not wrong, but her knee-jerk reaction is wrong >> is to snitch and to go to authority. And I think this is a twofold lesson here, which is like it's better to just handle things within your group, within your community on some level than to go outside unless it's a really big problem. And then you're like, "Hey, you should probably save. You might never need to go to like authority or whatever, but it's like this should be when your friend is in like serious danger. And right now, just being a kid and you could even say like, "Hey, I don't want you to vape, but you need to kind of going forward, you need to know the difference between something where we have to call in somebody and this is where you would just have to talk to your friend." And and there is value in saying that. And by the way, being the kind of 15-year-old that can be like, "I don't think this is good for you, man."
That's good. That's important. But I also think on some level it's like what's her friends are going to start drinking soon if they haven't already.
They're going to start smoking weed.
They're going to start having sex. Like and you could I think really the message is look you be whoever you want to be.
You do safe stuff. Do you like this stuff is crazy and that's important and I'm proud of you for feeling that way.
But you also have to understand you can't change the way your friends behave. All you can do is be there for them. and if they're in really serious danger, then we can talk about it. But this is not one of those situations. And and and then and then to say to her as the parent, and if you're ever in serious, if you're ever struggling with anything, you can talk to me. That's the the really biggest positive here is that she clearly feels comfortable like telling you about this. And I think that's the main thing you want to that's a hard thing to do. That's you should be proud that your kid actually wants to talk cuz like I would never in a million years think I could go to my parents with my friends doing drugs. I first of all I would be like nice let's do drugs. You know I was hiding I was actively hiding drug use at this age from my parents. Uh and so it's cute but you know that's what I would say to her. It's like you got to handle some [ __ ] on your own >> and all you can do there. All you can do is be there for your friends and if they're in serious trouble talk to me.
We can handle it. we can figure it out.
And if you're ever in serious trouble in any, you can always come to me, but you need to start learning that like we can't really trust >> who's in charge. You know your friend better than your [ __ ] principal does.
You know what I mean?
>> And that and you made the best point that it is cool that he has that relationship where she will come to him with anything. You know what I'm saying?
I think that's that's something that everybody doesn't have.
>> Totally. Damn, that's so funny. What was the crew looking like at 15? What were you up to? 15.
>> Vapes weren't out back then.
>> I I wasn't vaping. I was I was I was kind of a little bit on that. I was like I I ain't do nothing. I ain't do no >> noities. I ain't smoke nothing.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was one of them. Like >> you're like, "How guys, you got to Yeah.
You're you're telling people they need to go to church to save their souls."
>> I was definitely like, "Dang, y'all y'all not studying?"
>> I had some of that in me, you know, for sure. the sour grapes for not being at the party.
>> Look at what y'all doing. I was I definitely But you know when you start when you try to be judgment man at that age, you really just trying to protect your own.
>> That's fully what it is.
>> Yeah. You trying to create some image of yourself to protect your own insecurities.
>> Oh, I could be getting [ __ ] and smoking weed.
>> I don't want to cuz it's bad for me.
>> And you guys should be doing that. You should be hitting the books.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> Not having an awesome weekend. not [ __ ] trying pills.
>> It's a bunch of that. Like definitely trying to be like THAT'S WHAT Y'ALL DOING.
I MEAN, THAT'S A classic move of like that's another place where the like fat and the like that's why fat fatness has so much like cross uh community like we relate to a lot of different people because I think that's the kind of behavior you also get from like closeted people >> who are like who are like oh god this is gosh we need to be focused and we need to and of course I'd love to [ __ ] Cindy she's so hot but uh I can't have premarital sex and neither should you.
It's like there's a little bit of the like >> hiding being either a loser or hiding an identity you're uncomfortable with through the rules >> and that's that's a big problem. It doesn't your your your kid just sounds like a little bit of a a goodie too and that's fine. That's kind of cute and good for you. Congratulations.
>> Next question, Eldest.
>> Hey, first time long time. I'll jump right into it. I've been dating a girl for about five months and the problem I'm having is she busts hardest when she's riding me. Now, that's not necessarily a problem, but the problem is she rides aggressively.
Compound to that, she wants me to grab her hips and slam me her down on me when she's [ __ ] me as hard as possible.
>> Adding to that, she does this little hip flick at the end. Okay, man.
>> I swear to God, it hurts like nothing I've ever experienced. It feels like she's about to snap my dick off.
>> I'm trying different things like adjusting angle. I tried >> moving my hips up, tried putting my legs up to try and fix that.
>> Doing a bridge.
>> No, no, get those down. I'm coming in for the the thunder.
>> Yeah.
>> So, where I'm at is she's a self-conscious person. I don't want to ruin her favorite position.
>> Sure. How do I bring this up to her without hurting her feelings and keeping my member intact?
>> Mhm.
>> Additionally, I come the hardest when I [ __ ] her in the ass situation.
>> Whoa, whoa, WHOA. DON'T TRY DON'T TRY AND SNEAK THAT in there. He's got he's got a [ __ ] treatise on every angle that this girl is like. And by the way, I like the [ __ ] ass. I come to harness my That's crazy.
And for you to try for you to try and make an equivalence of a woman riding you and you [ __ ] her ass, that's just not buddy. That's apples and oranges. I I hate the break.
>> I do like I do like that he's linking it with a pain. He's like, "She's hurting my dick. Yeah, I'll hurt her ass a little. That's how we get off. Where's the middle ground?"
>> No, brother. This ain't not This is not a fair trade. Okay, let's start there.
Go. Mandle, you have some thoughts?
Well, I my thoughts is probably around the thing with >> Sure. Sure. Sure. No, no, please go ahead.
>> Have you ever had someone where you had a followup where you where you answer the thing and then you hear their response from their per the person talking about >> hearing the hearing it on the podcast?
>> A couple times people have called in together, but we've never had That's true. We've never had like a different maybe there's been one thing I'm not thinking of where somebody called in to sort of defend themselves but but more so we get them responding. We don't really get like we'll never we've never gotten for example the girl friends perspective here.
>> Uh no which I would be fascinated but I I my dream is to actually be able to >> one of the first versions of this show was almost like a judge show where everybody comes and gives me their take and I would love to do some version of that. Uh, I don't want to swagger jack Miss Pat right now. She's got Miss Pat settles it and I would be doing I would kind of be stealing her whole thing to be if I'm being honest. Uh, so I'm going to let that She does it until she wants.
Maybe it's like Family Feud where it's like I can take over. Miss Pat settles it.
>> It could be Stavy settles it.
>> I could be the next I could be the next host of BET. Stavy settles it >> and it's everything's the same. It's just me. That would be [ __ ] awesome.
>> Man, you should come up with a a Greek TV channel.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> G.
>> G. I wouldn't want to [ __ ] deal with all those G. That's too many Greeks for me, man.
>> There's only a couple good ones. Um, now this guy, but which I would love to get this girl's take. Now, uh, let's I guess should we discuss the fact that he comes the hardest when he [ __ ] her? I mean, that's kind of nuts. That's kind of cra Oh, what do you mean the hardest? We're not Listen, that's the thing about dudes. Let's be very clear. Sure, there's things you like more than others, but it's like a guy bust the same whether he's [ __ ] you know, unless you're staying and you're doing tantric sex for 10 hours or whatever, but it's like you don't come hard. Women come harder, men come the same. Let's be [ __ ] honest. Honest. You just like [ __ ] You just like butt [ __ ] And that's fine. No, there's no judgment here. I just don't appreciate you trying to pretend that these two things are the same. And I've been there. I know when I ultimately think you kind of have to take one for the team here. If this is how she busts and we're probably talking about in a total and look is it how painful is it? I don't know. I've had to be like, you know, I have a [ __ ] up uh penis famously. I've discussed that. I've had to be like, "Hey, chill." uh getting a spam phone call. I've had to pause and be like, "Whoa, whoa, I need a little breather for my [ __ ] up dick." But I've gotten right back in the zone. And ultimately, I think the fact that you have a key to your girl busting is more than most many would kill to be in your position, the fact that you know your girl can bust in a certain way.
I think you just need to tell her, "Hey, sometimes it [ __ ] But you have the you have what you need. You just have to discuss. Don't be afraid to just say share something. And if she's self-conscious, that's one thing. You're like, "Hey, this is awesome. Can we, you know, can we just figure a couple things out here?" Um, cuz I'm sure you can find a middle way if you're just a little vocal. If it's not all or nothing, >> I bet there's some pelvic bracing that could go on for this guy that's not the full-on bridge where she's still in the same position, but he's like, you know, >> maybe you need a pillow under your hips for a change. You know what I mean?
Maybe we need a specific ergonomic [ __ ] pillow. Maybe your dick's not hard enough, pal. I hate that. Let's be honest. Let's call let's let's really [ __ ] uh let's throw our cards out on the table. What the [ __ ] is the expression?
Whatever. Uh uh it's a pos cuz listen, I know that if my dick's not very hard, it it really shows itself when I'm being ridden, for example. There's no way to You can kind of finesse a wiggly penis when you're on top, but when somebody else is making use of your penis as a tool, maybe your dick's not hard enough and can we do something there? Can we increase blood flow? Can we get our vascularity better?
Um, and then look, you if the fact that you like anal sex is just a different conversation. So, let's not put these two together. when you talk to her about this, don't propose a trade where it's like, "Hey, um, you get to bust and I get to [ __ ] your ass whenever I want."
Not an equivalence because I'm I'm guessing you're busting from traditional, you know, uh, uh, intercourse. But that's I think that's my take on it is you have to have a convo. You have to think about all the elements here. And if this is the the way she busts, you got to figure something out here because that's that's a nice thing to have in a in a in a long-term relationship. Maybe you do a little finger aggressive finger popping. I'm sure they're related. Uh you know, I'm sure you can achieve certain same goals that way. Just just just thinking of my own experiences.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> So, you know, that's um I think that's what I would counsel the man on.
Man, you have you you have no direct takes here.
>> Yeah, I really don't, man.
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
>> I kind of was I was I was I was listening to Bro and he was having so much fun.
>> He was pretty technical about it, too.
>> Yeah. Like he was having so much fun and I did think like you said, he did go super detailed and then at the last minute said his thing and it hung up.
>> Yeah. That was and I was like that was a little nuts. That caught me a little off guard.
>> That wasn't slick. We caught you. I do appreciate because I do think uh we're in similar spa. Like I think we're both me and you are both sort of fascinated by like a a type of retro fat guy type of of uh of But I appreciate about you is that you have a wholesomeness cuz that cuz there's very typically that kind of older scumbag uncle, you know, like not quite a dad kind like literally your uncle that's around. Uh, often times there's a horny energy attached to it. And I like that you keep it pure >> for you. It's about the aesthetics.
There's not There's hints of horniness, but there's no there's no outward displays of of horniness.
>> Honestly, bro, I think I think I'm one of them people who because most of my standup career is is gigs. Yeah.
>> I think I'm still stuck in the like keep it clean if you want to work.
>> Yeah. Yeah. If you want to work, >> you know what I'm saying? When you don't got an audience, bro, it's a lot of like >> I can work gigs.
>> And that's true. That is my I definitely ran up against that a lot early in my career.
>> Totally. Totally. Totally.
>> Shout out to Tom Papa who did not. It's not a clean comic, but people thought of him that way.
>> And he let me I opened for him for years. And the one time a lady was like, "Your opener was disgusting." And he was like, "Fuck you, lady." He fully had my back. It was awesome. He's the man for that.
>> But it really it's really just more about that though. I see. I see. Yeah. I just be trying to lie.
>> Oh, I'd love Oh, okay.
>> I be so scared like I be so scared like if I have to go back to colleges and churches, >> I don't want him to look up the father like >> never mind. You know what I'm saying?
>> Yeah. Yeah. Sure. I respect that. Okay.
Nice. So, there might be a horny unveiling with Mandal in about a decade.
I I don't think I've heard them two words >> because that really is sort of the final form >> is just being sort of and there's a passive horniness to it where it's not aggressive. You're just always a little horny and you're always just looking at, you know, it's like when you see an old fat guy just like it looks like he's reading us he's watching the most intense pornography you've ever seen in your life. I do feel like there is like Patrice had an old bit about being like a an old creep or like an undercover creep where it's just I'm trying to he's just like in a park bench looking like a woman's like ankles or something. You know what I mean? He's just like I got to find that bit. That is kind of what we're describing. Anyway, next question.
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>> Hey, what's up guys, gals, non-binary pals, whatever. Um, jumping right in.
So, I got a friend inclusivity planning this like, >> you know, cross country Scotland trip, road trip, right? Um, we've always been platonic friends. We used to work together. We've done some travels like this. I'm not expecting to [ __ ] Uh, you know, maybe you never know. Less than 5% chance. Um, but even like with those chances being pretty low. She's an outdoorsy person. I imagine we're going to be doing a lot of hikes. A lot. I like doing that stuff, too. Um, but >> another classic trying to sneak something in.
>> Anyway, at 5% I'm I'm not thinking about it. It's all you're thinking about. Hey, come on, man.
Come on, dude. Who the [ __ ] are you calling into? You're going on a trip with a girl. You're like, "Oh, I'm probably not gonna [ __ ] I'm not even thinking about it." You're every moment you're around her, you're you're vibrating with how badly you want to [ __ ] her. And you think you can hide that? You're going on a trip with a platonic trip. Anyway, sorry.
>> No, he brought he brought it up twice.
>> Yeah. This this this far. So, that is dishonest.
>> So, can we Sorry. hit me with I just got a weird text so I missed the very beginning.
>> So this friend is in England and they're planning a crosscountry trip to Scotland. That sounds like it'll be pretty outdoorsy.
>> That's cute though. I like that trip idea. And so he lives where? He lives here or he lives there?
>> He didn't specify, but I think he lives here.
>> Okay. Anyway, keep going.
>> I am probably in the worst shape of my [ __ ] life. I'm damn near 300 lb and I've got like three or four months to prepare. Uh I >> 57 that's a normal weight for that height.
>> You can >> Sounds like you're just right from from what my doctors told me. 57300 that's uh exactly right on the BMI scale.
>> Not a lot of time, but you could still make some significant progress. Uh I just can't find any motivation stuff. I just can't stop eating and smoking weed and oversleeping and >> I don't know. I'm just really depressed.
The world seems shitty. war and blah blah blah. And I've been thinking about quitting the weed, but like it's like I'm pretty sure me buying weed is one of my friends like only sources of income >> and I guess it's an excuse, but that stops me from like just trying to cut that out. But what do I do? How do I get rich like you? How do I find the motivation to become a better man to hike and maybe smash this girl?
>> I mean, okay, there it is.
>> Love you guys. Love the keep doing your [ __ ] N I'm with you cuz you know what this guy is?
>> This guy is living in an oil field >> and he's trying to perfect solar power, >> right? He's He needs the motivation.
>> You just snapped.
>> He He needs the motivation to lose weight and he's pretending he doesn't want to [ __ ] this girl.
>> My My boy, you got that's the What What are we talking about? Art, human existence. Everything has in history has been done to get [ __ ] You clearly want to [ __ ] this girl so bad. You're fat as [ __ ] You're going to be alone WITH HER FOR A [ __ ] month on a cross-country trip and THAT'S NOT THE [ __ ] YOU'RE PRETENDING YOU DON'T WANT TO [ __ ] HER.
And that that's that mean that's that mean that's you locking away your oil well. Admit to yourself all you want to do is [ __ ] this woman. You would still get something out of the trip. Don't get me wrong. Even if she doesn't want to, you're not a piece of [ __ ] If she doesn't want to [ __ ] you, you're not going to be an [ __ ] But admit that to yourself. Start drilling in the [ __ ] getting [ __ ] oil fields instead of this nebulous like be a better man.
Uh I couldn't possibly stop smoking weed. It would it would uh dis it would uh completely disrupt my local economy if I stopped buying a from my [ __ ] college dropout friend. Be honest with yourself, okay? Start drilling in the [ __ ] energy well, okay? and stop pretending you're doing this for moral higher standards and and one day you'll get there by the way, right? Like I I'm at a place where look, my life [ __ ] awesome. I don't need to lose weight other than because I want to live, right? Uh but but that wasn't always the case. Yeah.
>> When I was young and had not the only times I ever [ __ ] lost weight was honestly for a girl or for girls generally, right? I I I want I I do have a little take here though. Please I do think that I do >> and we are two different we do have a different >> uh it's it's like we have a different operating system in the same model.
>> You know what I mean? Like we both we both have we're both we're both it's we're both like you know it's different engines and like you know PT cruisers or whatever. So so I I am interested for your take. Sure. cuz I don't think you have been, you know, you're you're not as like we said, horny forward. So, give let's let's get your take.
>> No, I will say this. I do think that at some point um you have to put some value in wanting to lose weight or be healthier for yourself.
>> Cuz I think that's more sustainable over time than for this particular person.
>> We're in full agreement. And I think that I think that the more that you have some more some more value and feel like I am worth whatever that is, whether that be being I know he said, you know, doing whatever he wants to quit or lose weight or gain his skills or whatever. I think you'll be in less positions where you have to pretend like you don't want to be with this lady. You'll just you'll have more opportunity to be around women >> who like you for you because you like you for you. You get what I'm saying?
>> Right. Right. No, no. Even you're right.
Even pretending he doesn't want to [ __ ] her is sort of that what are you guys up to? It's like why are you guys out smoking weed? That's bad for you. It's the evolved version of that, right? I think you got to put that value in yourself. You got to be like, hey man, I like me so much that I want the best version of me because I deserved it. And then I think you'll have less times where you're like trying to figure out these puzzles around >> around um >> anything you want in life because you'll you'll find the value in you first. You know what I'm saying? I I fully agree and I do and that's that's kind of what I'm saying is like >> look you this will not last. This is not it's it's it is oil versus solar because it is bad for you. It's bad for the environment. It doesn't burn clean. the fuel of either hatred or desire.
Most powerful potent fuel, but it's it's pollutes.
>> Absolutely.
>> It puts a lot. It does not when you're like cuz and that's by the way all that's what got me here >> is like chip on my shoulder. You you don't you think that motherfucker's better than me?
>> Absolutely.
>> And wanting to get [ __ ] without question. The two things that have motivated my success more than anything, at least getting started, are those two.
But th those fuels do not burn clean.
And I have switch since switched over, you know, to a different fuel for myself, for wanting to be myself. But this guy right now, >> he's just [ __ ] he's he's out there.
>> So you got to start where you are.
>> You got to start where he is.
>> I get that.
>> And right now he needs to start burning the unclean fuel just to get a little heat in the [ __ ] in the in the lab.
>> Right now the lab is dark. I this is a fair point because I would say with the thing that you do >> that I think is so cool is that you inspire people to like themselves where they are. Exactly.
>> But like you said, you got to pull yourself out the thing with whatever whatever can motivate you first. You know what I'm saying? Start if everybody you know you're [ __ ] Squirtles right now. You can be [ __ ] Blastoise.
You're just not there yet, dude. You got to evolve over time. Just admit who you are. And that's why this man needs to admit who he is and look at this trip as yes, use that fuel. Don't be a creep, but also just be like, you know what?
I'm going on this awesome trip. I'm a [ __ ] broke piece of [ __ ] It sounds like I'm getting to go to England. It's a once in a-lifetime thing. That's a very cool trip, by the way. And what did he say? When he was going >> said like >> three or four months from now.
>> Okay. So, that's a perfect time to go.
It's I I've actually I was in England.
Uh we shot pagonia in like June or whatever the [ __ ] and I was like damn this would be the you actually want to be in England and Scotland like July and August where everybody else is hot as [ __ ] and they're just like 72 degrees and they're like it's a heat wave you know but that's a beautiful trip. Look at it as like [ __ ] it.
>> I'm going to get I'm going to start going on I'm going to start walking.
Just do the stuff you can do. And by the way you're not you don't have the time for a full evolution. This is You're going to stay Squirtle, but you could be. What were the squ or were they Who were the Squirtle Club with the guys with the glasses? You remember? There were like a couple cool Squirtles.
>> Do you remember that?
>> No.
>> Were you a Pokemon guy, Mandal?
>> I was in Pokemon. I >> I believe on the cartoon there was like the Squirtle Club or some [ __ ] and it was just Squirtles wearing sunglasses.
>> Squirtle squad.
>> Squirtle squad. Thank you. This I backed into this analogy, but it actually works beautifully because right now you're a [ __ ] loser Squirtle smoking weed and you're a little too [ __ ] fat, right?
>> The Squirtle Squad's got sunglasses on there. They they're they're slight. So, you need to become the Squirtle Squad.
You need to be who you are now, but just more confident. And by the way, look at it purely as I don't want to embarrass myself on these heights.
>> Yeah. And I was about to say too, yeah, I think like just getting just just getting in a better cardiovascular place than you are right now is good.
>> And take account for what's cool about you right now.
>> Yeah.
>> Like I think it's so much focus on what you supposed to change, but I'm pretty sure it's a lot of stuff. Highlight the cool stuff that is cool about you.
>> Get a couple cool fits. Go to DXL.
>> Absolutely.
>> You're still a DXL. We're not telling you you're leaving DXL in 3 months. Oh, totally.
>> But spend a little cash. Get a couple cool fits.
uh start going on walks in the And by the way, >> it's hard to get weed in in Europe.
>> So, this a good motivation to be like, I don't want to be going through [ __ ] withdrawals.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
>> I'm going to quit now. And if I want to start smoking weed again when I get back, I can. But just look, dude, you actually have a really good opportunity to use this as motivation for a number of different things. A, again, I think you're it's a healthy thing to be like, this is still my friend, even if she doesn't want to smash. You clearly have feelings for this person. Okay. So, being honest with yourself is is important and providing and look whether she likes you or she doesn't like you, you want to put your best foot forward, right? So, that's motivation one. Two is this is he's young, right? Did he say how old he was?
>> He sounds young, right? His worldview is quite young.
Something you realize even in your 30s is like, oh, there are not unlimited summers.
You you get like 80 summers if you're lucky. You're spending one. This might be the coolest summer of your [ __ ] life. It's eligible. And I'm not saying the rest of your job is gonna suck. I'm saying you're doing something so cool that it's eligible to be the coolest thing you've ever done. So why not be in a little better shape for it? Why not be ready to enjoy the trip? As somebody who really has had a good time going to different cities, walking around when I was 300 lb versus even being 280. Now, that 20 [ __ ] pounds is a huge difference. The first five pounds is a huge difference. The first time you really start walking, you feel it. So, I would say look at this. My advice to you to find concrete uh to find concrete motivation is just [ __ ] uh look at this as not I'm going to lose weight, not I'm going to be the [ __ ] best version of myself. You know, I this ain't going to be the best version of you ever. I want to do I want to be is in as good as shape mentally, physically. Yeah.
>> Going into a cool vacation with someone that I'm going to have that I have feelings for that I'm going to have a lot of time to connect and see whether there's anything there.
Just being the be look at it as just short-term motivation for getting the most out of this vacation. Let that be the start and wherever it goes, it goes.
>> Absolutely. And and this might be a take that I regret. Please >> tell her how you feel, man.
>> I agree. I agree.
>> Tell how you feel. Don't Don't Don't hide behind.
>> Now, I I would How long is the trip, Elders? Did he say >> I don't know if he specified it.
>> But yes, maybe at the end of the trip, >> you know what I mean? I don't know that I would lead with that. I would catch a vibe cuz now she feels stuck there.
>> Exactly. And now she feels weird. Now she's like, "Oh, is this a guy a [ __ ] creep? Is he going to try and [ __ ] me, you know, in in in Dublin or wherever the [ __ ] [ __ ] we're going?" I guess he said Scotland and England.
I might have been wrong on that.
>> No, no, no. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. Ultimately, you do need to tell her how you feel. And you need to be honest with how you feel. You're not by the Nobody [ __ ] goes on a two week hiking trip with their pen pal that they're not trying to [ __ ] >> You know what I mean? And I think, you know, you got to realize that's a little dishonest too cuz she may perceive the relationship as platonic and he >> which listen it's but but I think ba but it's important to uh first thing you need to do is be honest with himself.
>> Mhm.
>> Figure out what your real feelings are and then a after you've kind of you know taken a couple practice hikes. He says he's out of breath. You've hit a couple national parks. you've you've gotten you've cut the weed back if not cut it out completely. Your diet is a little better cuz you know whatever >> after that and then you go on the trip, you have a couple days, you catch a vibe, you feel it out at the end of the trip, there's nothing wrong with being like or when it feels right being like, "Hey, I'm having a great time. You know, spending this much time together has made me feel has really made me understand my feelings for you. I really and look at the end of the day, they [ __ ] live across, you know, I don't know where he he didn't give us a lot of detail about who this person is, but >> he he did mention they used to work together, but that's all we really know.
>> Either way, this is clearly somebody you have feelings for on some level. And I think don't do it on the first day.
Don't [ __ ] go there with a diamond ring in your pocket and try and [ __ ] propose. Uh, but feel the vibes out. If it feels right, you can say it earlier, but I think by the end of the trip, you should. It's important for you to just express yourself and even if it doesn't go your way, that's fine. She's still your friend. You had a great trip together and there will be other people that do feel this way about you.
Absolutely. Right.
>> But I like that advice. That's I think that is good ultimately. At the end of the day, what we need to do is just be as honest about what we want and our feelings as possible. And that's hard to do.
>> Yeah. And and have some faith that if you being the best version of you, somebody going to love that version >> 100% without question. Somebody to love the shittier version of you, too.
>> Absolutely.
>> I truly I [ __ ] the most when I was fat. I was 340.
>> Yeah.
>> My dick didn't even [ __ ] work.
>> But I was just kind of trying to [ __ ] as like the way I did everything. Like the way I was addicted to everything of like pills, food, weed, >> getting trying to [ __ ] as many girls as we let. Like I was just in such a like addict's mind where it was like and and and and you will you can figure it out at the at your worst. So when you're actually at your wherever you are, you can find somebody that believes in you and you can even find people that are on the ups, you know, you you don't need everything to be perfect for you to find >> I agree, >> you know. But anyway, >> uh that's our advice, little buddy.
We're rooting for you. Let honestly, please please uh let us know how it goes. This I would love to even talk to you on a on a live call because I think there's there's a lot more that we haven't gotten to here.
>> Absolutely. This could be this could this guy could go in the in the in our He could be another member of the anti-insel hall of fame.
>> Who did we have? Peach Farmers in there.
>> Peach Farmers in there.
>> Who's the other kid?
>> Uh >> I forget his name, but he's the man.
>> Remember we talked to him on the road.
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah.
>> The [ __ ] was his name? We don't know their real names here.
>> I forgot their name.
>> But we know you, buddy. You know who we're talking about. And we we need we do need a couple updates on some of our >> The guy work on in LA years ago.
>> Him, too. Yep, of course.
>> Yeah.
>> Uh all right. All right, I'll just hit us with another one.
>> Hey, stuff. Uh, big fan of the show. Um, so I'll get right to it. Um, basically I have a group of uh college friends. I'm 34.
Um, really like the only time I get to see these guys is about once a year or so whenever someone gets married or we have a bachelor party or something like that. Um, and what's going on now is, uh, one of the guys in the group, um, I found out he's getting married, and I found out because another one of the friends texted me and asked if I was going, and I found out that I didn't get an invite. Um, and basically my question is is I am wondering, is it cool? like I changed my email and I changed my phone number about a year ago and I'm wondering is it cool to kind of ask my other friend who told me about the wedding to kind of like fish around and see if it's possible that maybe like he just like texted the wrong number to a wedding >> um sent the wrong email. Um >> at the same time I really don't want to seem like I'm fishing for an invite. I mean, I am a little bummed that I didn't get invited, but um >> but you know, it's his and you know, I respect his decision and the last thing I would want to do is be at a thing where I'm not want. Um but I love these guys and I love hanging out with them whenever I get the opportunity to and I'd be >> um really bummed, especially if I found out that, you know, it was just a misconnection. To give a little more context, I mean, we're in a fantasy football group together and we had to like remake the group um last year because I changed my numbers. So that's the thing is I think that you probably just didn't invite um number the feeling that >> you changed your [ __ ] email and number >> maybe there's a misunderstanding. I don't know around here a little bit and ask my friend to do a little digging on my behalf just to make sure it's not an understanding or would you just say leave it alone?
>> Leave it alone.
>> I appreciate any advice. Thanks.
>> I mean leave it alone.
>> He look the amount of time he's like first of all they've contacted you since right. If you change your number a year ago and this has never come up with the person whose num wedding you want to go to. Yeah.
>> You're not close enough. If if he if you change your number and he didn't realize until it was time for his wedding, >> that's kind of a bad sign, man.
>> Yeah. I think that I think you got to leave it alone. I think big L I I you know I I I I think from my own life experience, you do got to let it be.
>> Mhm. And you got to be like, "Hey, it is what it is."
>> Because I think any other option >> e any other option, even if you even if you reach out and they say, "Oh, my bad.
We forgot."
>> It's still you still kind of know where your relationship is. Sure. Sure. Like, >> now this is funny cuz I do have friends too who have like invited people or like been like, "I'm not inviting that guy."
And then someone will text and be like, "Hey man, I'm talking to a bunch of friends who like the weddings went out and actually I know somebody who didn't go with through a friend but just texted the guy directly and my friend just folded immediately and he was like dude what?" Like he was like he got lost >> and and so like there's a little bit of that there's a little bit of social pressure. Uh, now this is an interesting question because I I agree that I mean clearly again this guy's feelings are really hurt >> and he can't admit that.
>> Just admit that. That's okay. It's okay for your feelings to be hurt.
>> Anytime you're talking about email or phone number though, >> it's like, oh, she's it's like she's probably busy. That's why she's not texting me back. Like this is the this is the classic uh Trill Withers tweet.
Uh, she's just having she'll text you back, bro. She's just having a little sex or whatever. CL, I don't I want to get the wording just right if you could look that up, Elvis. But it's like, dog, >> I don't think it's a [ __ ] it's your email or or phone number. Now, >> I will say that >> if you trust your friend's sort of uh uh spy capabilities, if you trust your friend's ability to get some recon, I don't know that.
But it's very it's very friendsp specific, right? and they would have to be very slick with it to not embarrass you because I think the odds that this is some kind of misunderstanding are very low. So unless you have like the suave James Bond ass friend who it doesn't seem like you do, I could see trying to figure out what happened here or like or trying to get cuz this is kind of juicy gossip. When a friend of a when a friend gets left out of a wedding invite, your friends are going to talk about it. Like again, if me and Eldest and our friend group of like, you know, five or six friends that are tight, if one of those friends didn't invite one of the others to a wedding, it would be a topic of discussion, you know what I mean? And others did have a very small wedding and people's feelings didn't get hurt really, but it was funny to joke about who got invited and who didn't. And you know, in our in the in Stop Baby Enterprise in particular, it was funny.
Eldest invited one of our uh co-workers at as a joke an hour remember we sent him the invite an hour before the wedding like hey man I really hope you can make it a little last minute ceremony which was funny as hell. Um so I think there is a way to to at least figure out what happened because there is some explanation here and the explanation is misunderstanding I would put it 4%. And that's pretty generous, right? Let's say it's a solid f, let's give you 5%.
>> But the other options, the devastating options are >> he doesn't really like you that much, right? Then the other thing is the partner, right? Like she's she she's just like, I don't [ __ ] want this guy there. Or what probably happened is they probably don't have that many spots and they just you made the long list, but when it was time to make some difficult cuts, the guy the two guys we like least in fantasy football, they're the ones who get cut from the wedding, right?
>> Yeah.
>> Probably what it is is actually the most devastating thing, which is not he has some secret hatred for you or that he's harboring some secret or that his wife secretly hates you. It's actually a little more devastating to just be realize you're a B minus C++ friend in this guy's life and he's he doesn't even not want you around. You might even get invited to the bachelor party. You might get invited to the auxiliary B. You might you don't get to stay in the house, but you get to go to Topgolf or whatever the [ __ ] right? That's probably what's happening. So, do I think doing a little recon is the worst thing in the world? No. I just think realistically, brace yourself for the fact that you just didn't make the cut.
Mhm.
>> Whatever h whatever happens from there happens from there. I say, you know, is it does this shed some light on your relationships?
>> Do the people you find to be your close friends not think of you that way?
>> This is a moment of reflection for that.
>> For sure. And I do feel like, man, but that's the thing, too. I'm like, does he really benefit from that investigation, though?
>> No, he doesn't benefit from it.
>> You know what I'm saying? Cuz I'm like I'm like if you I feel like I think you could just take it for what it is >> and then like you said put more into the relationships that you that you see uh I guess like a more fruitful bond with you know what I'm saying?
>> Sure.
>> You can get down to the nitty-gritty and be like well one time in the fantasy football I said >> his hairline was crooked and we been the same. Yeah, you can figure that out. Or you can be like, "Oh, this cat wife don't like me." Well, like you said, you was at the cut, but the none of those things fixed the issue, which is you thought you was closer with somebody that you >> That's a good point. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's a good point. And and yeah, maybe if you want to have it now, the zen approach is being like, "Oh, okay. They didn't have room. Who cares?" And you don't let that affect you at all. Which I think is probably the best thing to do.
>> And he might even grow to regret not inviting you. Oh, >> is that Norman?
>> I don't know.
>> Yeah. Next week, Mark Norman will be will be here.
Yeah, he's getting here early. We're going to hang out for a week straight so that we have really good chemistry on the pod. Well, I guess that's going to do it for us. I didn't We're having such a fun time.
>> Come on in.
>> Look at this.
>> What's up, buddy?
>> Thank you. So, yeah, Mark's here for a week. We're going to hang out and really get in the zone for next week's episode.
Uh But yeah, we fig I think we figured out with that guy.
>> Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
>> You know, don't don't invite your phone.
You got to take a piss, dude. Go go go in there.
>> Um, Mandal, thanks for coming, brother.
>> Man, thanks for having me.
>> This is so fun. I enjoy this program a lot. So, >> you're We'll have you back. Absolutely.
Uh, and we will do the tournament of the the dessert. We got to come up with the right acronym.
>> The dessert tournament. the dessert tournament. The DT >> uh the We got We DNT is a nice beginning and end.
>> Yeah.
>> To dart. Can we do dessert appreciation?
We'll figure it out. Dart is cool.
Something fat, something that sounds delicious. Anyway, we're not going to come up with it right now. Uh but happy 420 everyone. Legalize it, you know.
>> Keep playing two joints by Sublime.
>> Yeah.
If you if you rocking with reefer, go ahead and do your reapfer thing.
>> That's right. That's right. That's right. What should we plug? What should we plug here?
>> Uh shoot. Uh >> find Mandal Online. We'll [ __ ] >> Yeah. Go the Big Fun Network on YouTube.
>> I got a program called Big Biz. Watch that.
>> Really funny. Very funny videos. Big Biz videos.
>> Finding out with me and Rob Hayes.
>> Oh, hell yeah. I love Rob.
>> And uh yeah, that's it right now.
>> Hell yeah. Check out Mandle, one of the funniest guys. And uh we will talk to you guys next week. Bye-bye.
Woo!
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