Perfectionism is an excuse to never really try because you're afraid of THIS...

Added: 2026-05-28

[00:00:00]At its root, perfectionism isn't really about a deep love of being perfect, of being meticulous.

[00:00:09]It's about fear.

[00:00:12]Fear of making a mistake, fear of disappointing others, fear of failure, fear of success.

[00:00:26]So, as we come back to that story from the opening part of this conversation, I mentioned just a quick three pivotal moments, three of many in which my client during childhood remembers just being overwhelmed with the internal pressure of needing to be perfect. Mom says I'm perfect, so I have to be perfect. I know nothing else.

[00:00:48]I only know perfect. I know Mom expects me to be perfect. And that little boy put together these beliefs with, you know, bits of information from here, there, hearing this, assuming that.

[00:01:00]And as a result, that belief pattern became the predominant lens through which he viewed life, himself, and others. And it perpetuated an incredible work ethic and trajectory of success at the cost of his well-being.

[00:01:18]His workout consistency slacked.

[00:01:21]There was unnecessary poor communication, frustration, and spats in his marriage.

[00:01:28]He was short-tempered with his children far more than he ever should ever was proud of.

[00:01:34]He was emotionally fragile at the office. He was hesitant and uncertain, anxious and indecisive about going off on his own, starting his new venture, which in his heart he knew was right.

[00:01:47]And it took a lot of unpacking.

[00:01:49]His relationship with perfectionism, his relationship with his mom, seeing his mom's intent from a different angle. It's creating a sense of safety, permitting himself to make mistakes, to be imperfect.

[00:02:04]Letting go, surrendering that control.

[00:02:09]And what was left?

[00:02:12]Space for peace.

[00:02:14]Space for pride, contentment, joy, fulfillment, happiness, the actual energy to do what he said he wanted to do, to go after his goals.