Small Town Crimewatch Groups

Added: 2026-05-05

[00:00:00]Crime Watch Facebook groups in small towns are absolute gold dust. Half of the posts on there seem to be stuff like, "Suspicious man has walked past the same co-op two times in the same hour. What could What could he possibly be up to?" And half of the comments will be accusing him of trying to steal local dogs or something. So today, we're going to be taking a look at some people who have taken neighborhood watch, stripped it of any common sense, and replaced it with pure unfiltered paranoia. They haven't done a very good job of censoring this location. I think that says Hanover Plymouth Street. Oriental female walking around looking at addresses.

[00:00:33]The top comment, human trafficker looking for kids to steal. My son and I were watched and followed by one in Big Lots a few weeks. What the [ __ ] What?

[00:00:44]My son and I were watched and followed by one. Does this person think that like every East Asian is out to traffic the people in the US or something?

[00:00:57]I know for sure this is a human trafficking situation. This is a code red. God, I know it's cuz a Chinese person looked at my kid the other day.

[00:01:05]Why else would they be looking at my kid if they didn't want to traffic him?

[00:01:07]Someone replied to their com with most logical thing I've read all week. For the last five nights/ mornings, someone is pulling up along our neighborhood entrance and stealing rocks that we have along our entrance mulch bed. They still 10 to 15 each time, so over 60 have been stolen so far. is the entrance at Force Hunt Lane off Anderson Bridge. We would appreciate it if anyone sees anything to let us/ me know. Thank to be fair that is very annoying. I don't know how much um how much rocks are. You know, they could still be cheap and you know that's still a massive annoyance. I just don't know what someone's doing with 60 rocks.

[00:01:38]Are they trying to make their own mulch bed or something? Why can't they just go out and get their own rocks? Many questions left unanswered here. To the gorgeous dark-haired girl who has the blue-eyed bulldog called Zeus around Web Heath. We have to say hello to each other a few times. I'm too nervous to say more. Can you tell me if you're single, please? As I would love to take you out sometime. I'll tell you what is like less weird than just asking them in person. Making a public Facebook post in a neighborhood watch group. That's that's that's not weird at all. Like it's definitely less strange to do it this way. Oh wow, we're opening the ancient texts here. If you want to hire an A+ COVID bodyguard, then what's a what's a COVID bodyguard mean?

[00:02:17]You can protect them against COVID. Then here I am. I even whisper the word COVID and flew rats tonight. I'm a monster COVID protection agency. You need a bouncer for this thing. We ain't getting past this monster COVID bounty. What the I don't even know what I've just read.

[00:02:33]None of that seemed to make any sense.

[00:02:34]I'm going to keep this one short and sweet. Not a crime, more of a PSA. If you see a large man with what looks like a sword, don't go overboard and call 911. It's more than likely just me and it's just a kendo stick. A wooden training sword. Oh, a wooden training sword. Well, you need to be prepared for whatever kind of combat the situation might come into. I lost my Reddit accent as that went on there. I'm sorry. Cuz as of late, I'm sick of these [ __ ] I'm sick of these [ __ ] crackheads thinking they can just do whatever the [ __ ] they want and no one go and do anything about it. Oh yeah, the crackheads will go running when they see you swinging your kendo stick. I'm a different breed than most people. I will do something. I will say something.

[00:03:13]Today I have a black suit. Today I will have a black suitcase. That seems like irrelevant information you've tacked on the end there. What have you got in a suitcase? I wonder. What do you need a suitcase for when you're just when you're just practicing with your kendo stick? Just called 111. Guy wandering down Conningsbury with a microwave on back. Smashed glass. Police on route.

[00:03:32]I've never seen someone spell on route like that.

[00:03:36]On route. As if it's like a tree root.

[00:03:40]Not sure where he's going on his state.

[00:03:42]Tise came. He seems to have vanished.

[00:03:44]one. Nice end to my birthday.

[00:03:48]Wait, I don't even really know what's going on here. This This person's called the police on someone walking with a microwave that's broken. Why is that a police matter? And why is that ruined your birthday? Wait, why is it? Sorry, I maybe I'm misunderstanding something here. Why is this a big deal? It's odd to see. I don't doubt it's odd to see a man with a a sm carrying a smashed microwave on his back. Is there any need to call police? I don't think so. Carol, can you PM me, please? I can't PM you.

[00:04:12]We heard it smashed too and found a plate with a hot dog on it. Thank you.

[00:04:16]Anyone had their car nicked? This is on Heathfield Road. Driver door open.

[00:04:20]Interior wet from the rain. Have you thought of calling the police? Nah.

[00:04:23]Yeah, fair enough. That's effort in it.

[00:04:25]Just to let people know that kids are going around and smashing windows in Carmarmac Cresant. They just did mine.

[00:04:29]Police called, but I got them on CCTV, so I hopefully got them. Kids will be kids. Kiss kiss. We all did that when we were young. Kiss kiss. Don't blame the the Ben. A wee boys and angel kiss. This isn't something that should be treated as a case of kids will be kids. If left without consequences, it can lead to carelessness and other crimes because damaging someone's property is actually this is not fun. Bubba, she comment sent a very long comment.

[00:04:57]I wouldn't worry about his comment. He literally post the same version of this of this comment on every post I've seen on here that relates to anything to do with the nonsense kids get up to in Invenesse. That's [ __ ] brilliant.

[00:05:10]What a wind up. S hun, you didn't know what it's like raising free bands. Not all perfect like you clearly, but my wee bands are angels.

[00:05:23]Get a lot of this perfect angel. My wee bands are angels. Yeah, they smashed a window once and take cannabis, but they are only we and can be watching them all day.

[00:05:38]What a [ __ ] wind up. I love it. With regards to my previous post yesterday, I found out where my daughter's graduation photo was delivered to and went to collect it this morning. One, it was a tracked item with our correct address on and lady had signed for it all the same.

[00:05:50]Two, sorry, I'm still thinking about the [ __ ] the last post. That was so [ __ ] funny.

[00:05:57]Maui Benz, sorry. Um, to She gave it back to me and she said she had opened it up and ripped the photo up. Why? Why did you do that?

[00:06:10]That's just like that's so needlessly evil. Like there's no [ __ ] re there's absolutely no reason to do that. Yeah, sorry you inconvenience me. Like it came through my door. You know, I opened it even though it didn't have my name on and the postman clearly just delivered it to the wrong address. So, you know, I've just decided to rip up the photo. I am in utter disbelief. This was my daughter's graduation photo that we had paid £30 for. I will not name names, but my daughter is in tears. If you do get someone else's mail, please be kinder than this lady is. It's just so unnecessarily mean. Oh my goodness. Was it ripped on purpose? I hope you could get a replacement under the circumstances. Maybe ring the company and explain. Yes, it was. She denied receiving it first, but when I showed her the royal mail picture, she said she had received it and she gave me the brown hard packaging saying she had opened it. I went away and when I looked, there was no photo in the frame and you could see it had been taken out.

[00:06:57]So, I'm like, that's so that's [ __ ] bad. She's taking the photo out of the frame. Something had clearly gone really horribly wrong in this person's day. rip up a photo of like one of your neighbors kids who just graduated. What has this [ __ ] kid done to you? So, I went back and she said she had ripped the photo up and gave me the photo. I asked why she would do that and she just slammed the door on my god face. I shouldn't be laughing. It's just this is it's so [ __ ] evil. It's so unnecessarily mean. Like there's there's just absolutely no reason to do this. Some people just want to watch the world burn, don't they?

[00:07:33]There are now vigilante groups patrolling my town. It's going to end with someone getting hurt and my money would be on themselves.

[00:07:41]We have patrols out at all different times this week. If they're out there, we will find them. Who's they? Who are you trying to find? What criminals in general?

[00:07:53]House onway backing onto s uh your window. Your back window is wide open.

[00:07:59]Not sure if you realized you left it open. Why have you posted this? That's just that's you're just basically putting an advertisement up being like, "Yeah, this person has their window open. If you want to burgle them, you can you you can like their windows open.

[00:08:10]They're clearly unaware of it." Maybe they are aware of it. Who knows? That's so funny. Why can't they just Also, it be I was about to say, why don't they just go around and ask instead of posting it publicly on Facebook? That's a weird thing to do anyway. Just go around and go, "Why have you got your window open?" What? Why? Why have you done that? Maybe they like the smell of the rain. It's the little things in life, isn't it? I like the smell of the rain. Oh god. My daughter left her blue scooter in Beaches Park accidentally overnight. We found the helmet in the same place this morning, but the scooter has gone. If anyone has kindly taken to look after the police, can you let me know? Blue two wheels with light up wheels. Thanks.

[00:08:44]Someone's chucked it in a tree.

[00:08:48]What goes through? What goes through your mind when you see an abandoned child scooter in the park and you go, "You know what I'm going to do? I'm not going to just leave it. I'm not going to even nick it. I'm going to throw it up into a tree. Oh, [ __ ] hell.

[00:09:02]Suspicious piece of meat found on Dirt Avenue. I didn't have my phone on me, so I haven't got a photo. How am I supposed to know what the suspicious piece of meat looks like? Oh, you've given me a description. But it looked like a piece of large sausage.

[00:09:13]Oh, I have disposed of it. But just beware be wary of what?

[00:09:19]What is there to be wary of? A mysterious man that drops miscellaneous meat on the ground. What? What? What?

[00:09:25]What are you telling us to be wary of?

[00:09:27]This is Reggie. He's our Oh my god, Reggie looks human. He's our cat. He has a home and is not lost. He's not hungry and has not been abandoned by his family. He likes to think he owns Florence Park Road and is known for breaking and entering into properties to make himself at home. Please do not feed him. And if you have, send him on his way. He has a collar and his microchips.

[00:09:44]He's a master manipulator and a little [ __ ] My parents had to put a collar on their cat that just says do not feed cuz he would like you just do the same thing. He go people's houses and he goes missing for days. Don't let him fool you into thinking he's homeless. I managed to put an air tag on his collar this morning when he made an appearance and now it's showing he's at someone's house on Campbell Road. Screenshot attached.

[00:10:03]If this is your house, throw him out, please. Thanks. A naughty Reggie. No, how could you resist feeding that boy?

[00:10:09]He looks so hard done by. This is in the Hamilton neighborhood watch. Now, let me start with I don't care what your sexual preference is or what flag you're flying in your window, but I do care when you have a literal when you have literal pornography. Crochet penis/ dildo with a hat. I mean, I don't I'm going to put a big black bar over it anyway, but it is just like a a crocheted willie. I wouldn't call it pornography when you are right beside a children's playground and an elementary school. Okay. Yeah, I would I would say if you've got that in your window next to an elementary school and a playground. Bit brazen. Bit brazen. There is definitely somewhere in your home that would be more appropriate where children don't have to see it.

[00:10:46]Yeah, I can't I kind of agree. You probably shouldn't have your crocheted willie on the window where there are kids. If anyone trying to steal till Vesper, I'm just here to let you. Has anyone tried to I don't think anyone has cuz he's saying if anyone is planning on trying to steal my till Vesper. Anyway, if anyone trying to steal till Vesper, I'm just here to let you know you won't survive. I'm 6'2, 250 lb, and I don't give a [ __ ] that you're just trying to survive. I'm trying to do the same thing. So, don't try me and you will live. I I imagine this comment was posted completely unprompted. Oh, so we've got a potential crime scene here.

[00:11:19]Lock up tonight. Found a kid on a bike, no helmet, in the middle of the road texting his buddies. Dirt rode off towards D. Okay. What?

[00:11:29]What was the need to post this? You saw a kid texting his friends. Is that how low the bar is in this neighborhood group? Like, is Yeah, just just letting you guys know. So, you need to be wary of this kid. I saw him. He was on a bike, bearing in mind, no helmet, and he stopped and he was he was texting his friends. I swear like half the people that use these groups are just absolute curtain twitchers. Keys lying on the footpath northeast corner of intersection dirt and uh left them there in case someone retraces their step. I mean I would have just taken them and maybe given them to the police or something. I don't know. I feel like leaving them there is like you're just you're just waiting for someone to come and [ __ ] nick them. You should have taken to the police station nearby and then post this in my opinion. Well, they are probably still there. Why don't you go there and pick them up and take them to Bow Police Station? Um because uh is living in Turkey or she might have done it otherwise. Why are you telling me where I am now? No. No one else's business.

[00:12:25]To the teenage kids playing football on the Leisure Village Park behind my house. Stop screaming when the ball comes near you. I'm sure I'm sure they they'll be on the uh neighborhood group.

[00:12:34]I'm sure like in in between, you know, at Halime they'll they'll be sure to check the neighborhood Facebook group and see this and uh and tone down their screaming. Swearing and shouting is disgusting. It's disgusting. It's despicable. I'm trying to sleep as I've not been able to have much lately and I'm shattered and you keep waking my baby up with your horrible screaming.

[00:12:53]It's really irritating me. The boys aren't too bad, but the girls are horrendous to be fair. I imagine that would be very annoying if people were just screaming outside your house. I don't think posting in the the neighborhood watch Facebook group is going to have any effect though.

[00:13:05]Neighbor. Okay. Right. Neighborhood dress code. Has anyone ever thought about the positive impact on property value that enforcing a neighborhood dress code might have? What? What power has gone to these people's heads? A neighborhood dress code. What happens?

[00:13:20]What happens if you take the bins out, but you're not in smart casual? What happens then? Do you get a fine? Does everyone else in the neighborhood shun you? I'd feel more comfortable if I knew what to expect when I went what I'd feel more comfortable if I knew what to expect to see when I went out every day.

[00:13:34]I imagine that can make our value skyrocket over the next 12 to 19 months.

[00:13:39]I don't think it would cuz I think if anyone was looking for a house and they were told Yeah. I mean look the neighborhood watch are really funny about dress codes here like you like when you go outside your house you have to wear smart casual. I think that would rightfully put people off buying a house. Happy to get a Zoom call together for anyone interested in pursuing this from me. Let me let me hear from you. I think the uh I think this is uh going to get shut down pretty immediately. What a [ __ ] awful one. It's 150 comments.

[00:14:07]report of two kids on the ice uh throwing a propane tank around, possibly trying to get it to explode. Right, we're going to leave it there for this video. Like and subscribe or I'm going to report you on your local neighborhood watch Facebook