They SWORE in Court Jehovah’s Witnesses Don’t Shun People

Added: 2026-05-25

[00:00:00]There are people I love who probably won't ever speak to me again. Not because I stole from them, abused them, or attacked them. And not because I did anything to them at all, but because I left their religion. And if you've never experienced that before, it probably sounds insane. What's even crazier is this. And with one side of their mouth, Jehovah's Witness leaders tell their members to shun anyone who leaves the organization. And then from the other side of their mouth, they say that it's not even happening, that they don't practice shunning. Witness leaders say that disfellowshipping, which means to remove someone from the congregation and shun them, is rare. And it only happens in cases of serious sin. A few commit serious sins and have to be disfellowshipped, but that is rare. The organization has also testified in court that when disfellowshipping does happen, it's actually very different than shunning. Because disfellowshipped people can come to meetings at Kingdom Halls. They can sing the songs. And supposedly, they can even have normal relationships with their families.

[00:00:56]Disfellowship literally means no further spiritual fellowship with the with the individual. The nature of the relationship then of a disfellowshipped person is not completely shunned. The disfellowshipped person is able to come into the congregation to the congregation meetings. They're able to attend in the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses. They're able to sit wherever they like. They can sing the the spiritual songs with the congregation.

[00:01:20]As far as their family members are concerned, normal family relations continue with the exception of spiritual fellowship. But the reality is much different than that. And anyone who's left the organization can tell you that from first-hand experience. First, disfellowshipping has not been rare.

[00:01:36]Even their own leaders have admitted that thousands of Jehovah's Witnesses are disfellowshipped every year.

[00:01:41]Thousands are disfellowshipped every year from Jehovah's family. And unlike what they've testified to in court, continuing relationships with disfellowshipped ones is not allowed.

[00:01:52]Their leaders specifically instruct them to stop associating with anyone who's been removed.

[00:01:57]>> When a person has been removed from the congregation, we stop keeping company with that person, not even eating with such a man. That means we don't socialize with those who are removed from the congregation. That disfellowshipped person could be a relative, a former Bible student, or someone we were close to in the past.

[00:02:18]So, even though Jehovah's Witness leaders will say differently when it suits them, the truth is the organization does require its members to shun former JWs. But why do everyday Jehovah's Witnesses listen? Why do they go against their natural desires and actually do it? It's not because they're evil or heartless. Personally, I genuinely believe that my family is full of good people. I love them, I miss them, and I wish things could go back to the way they were. But as you've seen, their leaders, the Governing Body, tell them that they have no other choice. And Witnesses are told that cutting off family members who leave the organization is actually loving. They're taught that this is what loyalty to God looks like. Now, our loyalty is on the line, not to the disfellowshipped person, but to God, who is watching to see whether we will abide by his command not to have contact with those who are disfellowshipped. Some of Jehovah's people may think this is too drastic, and that they're keeping in contact with the disfellowshipped friend or relative is a kindness. But they could not be more wrong about that. Now, here's the reality of what this actually does to people. Because it might sound straightforward in a Watchtower article.

[00:03:25]It might sound easy when you're not affected by it. But it feels very different when it's your actual family.

[00:03:29]I'll just speak for my own personal experience. My name's Jared, and I was a Witness for 27 years. Most of my family, they're still Witnesses. Aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, extended family, not to mention all my friends. I haven't spoken to most of them in years. The ones that I have spoken to, the relationship has changed, possibly forever. And what that looks like in reality, the ugly reality of it, is your family never even meeting your kids. It sounds dramatic, but I have kids, and most of my family has still never met them. Do I think that's what they want?

[00:04:02]No, but do they feel like they have any choice in the matter?

[00:04:06]Probably not. And all because of what?

[00:04:08]Because I stopped believing that Jehovah's Witnesses are the one true religion. That's it. I didn't do anything immoral, I didn't treat anyone poorly, I just stopped believing that Jehovah's Witnesses have the truth. And it doesn't matter whether some of my beliefs or morals still align with Jehovah's Witnesses, because they've been told that it's black and white.

[00:04:28]You're either a believing member of the organization, or you're not. We must also avoid association with those who may appear to be morally clean, but who lack faith in the true God, Jehovah. Now listen, when people's lives change, their beliefs change. Relationships can change, too. That's natural. Sometimes people drift apart, or they realize that certain relationships just aren't healthy anymore. But that's not what happens when you leave Jehovah's Witnesses, because they aren't allowed to continue their relationships and determine for themselves if they're positively or negatively affecting them.

[00:05:01]They aren't allowed to make that decision on their own. That's what makes this different from normal relationship drift. They're specifically told that when someone leaves or is removed from the organization, the relationship should end.

[00:05:12]>> When someone has reached the point where they have to be disfellowshipped, Jehovah now in effect says, "I have this now. Leave this to me." And what do we have to do? We have to back off and trust Jehovah and his organization. Now, we can illustrate it this way. You could picture maybe having a nice family meal with your family, and during the evening, suddenly your uncle grabs his chest and falls over on the floor unconscious. Well, what happens?

[00:05:39]Well, we all jump into action. Somebody starts doing CPR, somebody calls the paramedics, the The of us try to do what we can. But what do we do when the paramedics arrive? We step out of the way and we leave our loved one in the hands of those who've been trained to handle medical emergencies. Now, would we ever think of pulling the paramedics off of our uncle and insisting that no, we're going to care for him ourselves?

[00:06:02]No. We know by doing that we will greatly reduce the chances of him surviving. See, we leave it to the paramedics and we hope for the best.

[00:06:10]Now, sometimes the patient recovers.

[00:06:13]Sadly, sometimes the patient does not recover. But yet, we know that he has a much better chance of recovering at the hands of the trained paramedics. And see, the same is true with our loved ones who leave Jehovah. At first, we try to do what we can, but then we step back and leave it to the paramedics, if you will. The spiritually qualified men who are trained to offer necessary spiritual assistance.

[00:06:40]That's Jehovah's arrangement. Think about what that analogy really means in practicality. Your child, your sibling, your parent, as soon as they're out of the organization, you wash your hands of them. Now, there's a spiritual problem to be managed by the elders in the congregation. And if you did decide to maintain a relationship with someone who's left the organization, then there would likely be consequences. That means either formal discipline or at the very least informal judgment from your fellow witnesses. Or you could keep it quiet and lead a double life. But no matter how you slice it, they're not great options. I've been fortunate enough to join a new community, to make new friends, and for a family member or two to leave the organization. So, I'm not completely alone on that front, but many former witnesses are. And if not forever, at least for a long time. And one of the strangest things about being in that situation is that people act as if you're dead. And in a way, to them, you have died, at least socially, even though you're still right there. Now, I understand disagreement or even disappointment. I understand people thinking I'm wrong. I'm fine with that.

[00:07:42]I understand people naturally drifting apart. That's all just part of life. But what I don't understand is suddenly pretending that someone you loved just yesterday no longer exists. You can disagree with someone without acting as if they're dead and gone. But in the witness context, that's not really possible. That's why many current Jehovah's Witnesses feel stuck because leaving doesn't just mean abandoning your former beliefs. It means jeopardizing your relationships with everyone you love at the same time. So, as a witness, even if you find yourself questioning some of your beliefs or doubting the Governing Body, you try not to pull at that loose thread. Or you do it quietly, not telling anyone you know.

[00:08:23]I've gotten more than a few emails from people who are still in the organization who feel like they can't even tell their spouses or their parents about the doubts that they're having. I mean, just think about that for a second. Being afraid to tell your husband or wife or your mom or dad what you actually think.

[00:08:39]That's not normal and it's not healthy.

[00:08:42]And for anyone who doesn't know what that's like, imagine losing your parents, siblings, closest friends, your entire social circle, and spiritual community all at the same time. For many ex-witnesses, that's what leaving means.

[00:08:54]It feels like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place. I put that hard decision off for a while, but eventually I had to ask myself, "What does this look like in 10 years? 20 years? Do I just pretend that I believe something I don't for the rest of my life? Do I live my life inauthentically to placate the people in my life?" Even if I could do that, which I couldn't, I could never do it to my kids. I didn't want to raise them in an environment where all of their relationships are conditional, where your parents, your blood relatives, your best friends, they could all disown you if you ultimately decided to believe something different. But whether you're younger or older, single or have a family, there's another reason to make that hard decision. And ironically, it actually relates back to what we were told our entire lives as Witnesses. If truth actually matters, then it has to matter even when it costs you something. And ultimately, whether you believe we have one life on this earth or there's more to come, the time we have is precious and what we do with it counts for something. Personally, I don't want to waste my time living a lie, even if abandoning that lie comes at a cost. Now, if you're a Jehovah's Witness watching this, I'm not asking you to abandon your beliefs. Do I think that many of those beliefs are wrong?

[00:10:04]Yeah. But let's put that aside for a second. I'm asking you to think carefully about what shunning does to human beings. Not just the people being shunned, but the people doing the shunning. Even Witness content itself reveals this. Our son, Levi, was no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses.

[00:10:25]I kept wondering how he was [music] doing.

[00:10:28]Was he okay?

[00:10:39]Then, >> [music] >> as hard as the past few weeks had been, it just got harder.

[00:10:45]That night, after the meeting, I told Ben about the text I received [music] from Levi.

[00:10:51]I told him everything.

[00:10:54]How I miss [music] Levi so much.

[00:10:57]But that I also wanted to be loyal to Jehovah. So, even the people doing the shunning suffer. Probably because it's unnatural to act as if your child doesn't exist. And the people being shunned, it often pushes them to the brink. It can send them into a depression. And worse, it can make them question if life is even worth living.

[00:11:15]They loved me and wanted me to come back to Jehovah. [music] I tried to contact them.

[00:11:21]I just wanted to talk >> [music] >> and to hear their voice.

[00:11:26]I missed being with my family.

[00:11:30]And they thought about reaching out to me.

[00:11:33]But they knew that if they had [music] associated with me, even a little, just to check on me, that small dose of association might have satisfied [music] me.

[00:11:44]It could have made me think that there was no need to return to Jehovah.

[00:11:50]But as a witness, you're told that this is a good thing. That this separation and these feelings will help the non-believer come back to the organization.

[00:11:59]>> If we were to [music] stand between Levi and the discipline he needs, we would in effect be blocking an expression of Jehovah's love from reaching [music] him.

[00:12:10]In fact, it's our very loyalty to Jehovah that could save his life.

[00:12:17]But even if that worked, which more often than not it doesn't, do you think that driving people to the brink of desperation is the right way to get them to stay in your organization? Do you think threatening people with a loss of everyone they love is what God wants? At the very least, if someone leaves your religion and your instinct is to erase them from your life, you should ask yourself why. And is that urge coming from you or is it coming from your leaders? Do you feel like shutting your kids, your parents, your siblings, your best friends is natural or unnatural? I still love the people who won't speak to me. I know most of them just believe they're doing what's right. But I hope one day they realize this. You can disagree with someone without deleting them from your life. And if any of them happen to see this, just know that I love you, I'm here, and I always will be. As always, thanks for watching and God bless.