The ENTITLEMENT || ThreadTalk Podcast EP177

[00:00:03]Hello everybody. [music] Happy freaking Tuesday and welcome to our themed episode of the week, the entitlement.

[00:00:12]>> Entitlement generally refers [music] to the condition of having a right to certain beliefs or the belief sometimes unjustified that one deserves special privileges and treatment. It spans both formal legal rights and informal psychological behaviors.

[00:00:27]>> Thank you.

[00:00:27]>> That's the description of entitlement.

[00:00:29]Thank you so much.

[00:00:30]>> And the actual proper pronunciation pronunciation is >> entitlement.

[00:00:37]>> That's how you say it, guys.

[00:00:40]>> I just thought we'd start off with some >> For all people who didn't know, >> that's how that's what entitlement means.

[00:00:46]>> In case anybody needed a disclaimer.

[00:00:49]I >> think we would have been good without that one, but >> nope. It was necessary. Absolutely.

[00:00:52]Welcome to Thread Dog Podcast. This is episode 177. Woo! Woo!

[00:00:58]>> Does one What? What's my favorite rider with 177?

[00:01:01]>> Ken Roxson.

[00:01:02]>> Trick question. That's 94. You should know this. You should to know that. You That should not be an answer you're giving out. That's no nothing good. Is there anything special about 19 177?

[00:01:15]>> Nope. Not for me.

[00:01:17]>> I I look it up and apparently um 177 is the caliber size uh used for airsoft guns.

[00:01:26]>> Yep. Great fun fact.

[00:01:28]>> Yeah. I was hoping that there'd be something cool attached to like 177, but there's nothing.

[00:01:33]>> Scare one.

[00:01:33]>> Yeah, we'll see next week if there's anything attached to 178.

[00:01:36]>> Oh, is that a new thing what we're doing?

[00:01:37]>> Yeah, we'll see how long it lasts. It's like the jokes.

[00:01:40]>> Denver to stop in the comments. He'll listen to you.

[00:01:42]>> Does 177 mean anything special to you guys? If it does, let us know in your comments. The comments.

[00:01:48]>> In your comments.

[00:01:49]>> Our comments.

[00:01:51]>> Okay.

[00:01:51]>> Stories.

[00:01:52]>> Yeah, please.

[00:01:53]>> Let's go. [music] Go ahead, honey.

[00:01:58]>> Am I the [ __ ] for telling my brother-in-law to get over himself and quit holding a 10-year-old grudge? My brother-in-law, married to my sister, is a general contractor. About 10 years ago, my dad and brother was building a deck in my parents' home. They asked my brother-in-law if they could borrow his skid loader, but he said no. They prepared the ground as best they could without the skid loader, but got to the point where they couldn't go on without it. They went to my sister's house to ask again, but found out brother-in-law went out of town. They talked my sister into letting them borrow it, so she took them down to his construction lot, and they hooked it up to my dad's truck.

[00:02:35]This next part, I'm not sure of since I don't know much about towing, but from what I was told, dad's truck wasn't big enough or powerful enough to tow the skid loader on the dump trailer. So, he lost control and wrecked.

[00:02:47]>> Oh.

[00:02:48]>> The truck, trailer, and skid loader was total. The insurance was barely enough to cover the medical costs and the truck. There was none left over to cover brother-in-law's stuff. When he got back to town, he exploded. He threatened to sue and things just went downhill from there. My parents are not rich and he wouldn't have gotten anything. So, in the end, sis talked him into letting it go. However, from that day on, he wouldn't have anything to do with our family. He doesn't come to birthdays, holidays, nothing at all. Next month is our parents' 50th anniversary, and we're planning a big family gathering to celebrate. We're also chipping in to send our parents on a cruise to Mexico because they've never been out of the country. I spoke to Sis about it the other day, and she said she's coming with the kids, but brother-in-law is not coming. I was fine with that. But when we were discussing their portion of the cruise money, I heard him yelling in the background to deduct their portion of the cost from the cost of the skid loader and the dump trailer. That pissed me off. So after the call with my sis, I called brother-in-law and told him to get over himself. I told him dad and bro made a mistake, but that was 10 years ago and he needs to let it go. He said he'll let it go when they give him the money he lost. I told him he's an ass for holding on to a grudge and putting money in the way of family relationships.

[00:04:18]Sis called me a few minutes ago and said they're not coming and that I was out of line. We argued for a bit and that's where it stands. I don't think I'm wrong for telling him to let go of the past, but they're not coming to the anniversary party, so now I'm not sure.

[00:04:34]>> Ooh.

[00:04:36]Ooh, >> brother-in-law is quite entitled, isn't he, for demanding that money back.

[00:04:42]>> Brother-in-law is entitled, >> right? He feels pretty entitled to that skid loader money.

[00:04:47]>> Okay, you're being you're being funny.

[00:04:49]>> Sarcastic.

[00:04:50]>> Okay. Um Okay.

[00:04:54]I think there is a difference between like an accident happening >> Yeah. and and demanding money for an accident. I think that you would maybe be an [ __ ] if you held a grudge for that. But this was >> actual accident.

[00:05:14]>> Yeah.

[00:05:14]>> But this is something completely different. They betrayed his trust.

[00:05:19]>> Theft >> like literal theft.

[00:05:23]I would not get over this either. I don't think like the family is making it seem that it's just about money, but it's not. It's It's a lot more than that.

[00:05:34]>> Yep.

[00:05:37]You asked. I said no. And then you came and convinced my wife to still give it to you.

[00:05:44]>> Yeah.

[00:05:45]>> And then because you have no idea what the [ __ ] you're doing, which is why I didn't want to give it to you in the first place. You wreck on the highway.

[00:05:53]So, here's what I'm picturing. you've got a very heavy piece of equipment and you're hooking up like an F-150 like a um a light truck or even like a smaller truck like a Tacoma or like a Ford Ranger or something and you're hauling a very heavy piece of equipment like a skid loader would be like I don't know 20,000 lbs maybe less maybe 10,000 lbs. Either way it's you starts swapping back and forth. The trailer starts going sideways on the highway. You're counter steering inside your vehicle. You're getting whiplash and then eventually it rolls over on the highway because you got too much speed and it's uncontrollable.

[00:06:32]>> So the medical bells were for dad and brother.

[00:06:38]>> They probably got thrown around the cab cuz it probably rolled over on them.

[00:06:41]>> Okay.

[00:06:42]>> Yeah.

[00:06:44]No, that's brutal. Like I want to know did they ever apologize? Do they take accountability for saying like, "Hey, I this is my fault. I'm so sorry. I went behind your back. We should have listened to you and like apologized, right? Like, I can't afford it. I really hope you can forgive me someday."

[00:07:01]>> I feel like the answer would have have to be no. Like, did you take responsibility? It just has to be a no because of what we know. Because if this was me and I had wrecked it and I taken written off that piece of equipment, taking responsibility would mean paying him back the damages regardless of how long that took. If I can only pay $100 a month, $200 a month, taking responsibility, >> like small amounts, >> small amounts is going to treat it as a loan. Is going to continuously pay him off for what I can. That's taking responsibility. It sounds to me like they've offered him zero dollars for all of it. Yeah, I think like some retribution would have been I can't afford it. You know, my financial situation. Here's $50 a month. Yeah.

[00:07:46]>> At most. Like that's >> if you have a roof over your head, you have food on the table. I don't think $50 a month.

[00:07:53]>> Whatever you can, like literally whatever you can to just show Exactly.

[00:07:57]to just show that you are trying to make amends and are being intentional about this.

[00:08:06]This I've said it in the past about what my mom taught me growing up where it was don't loan things to people who can't afford to replace it. And this is like that exact example. He didn't maybe because he lived by that philosophy too, but you have a 50 $70,000 piece of equipment, giving it to people who, hey, if things go catastrophic, you're out. They can't afford to pay you back. Like this is you're in that's your that's his livelihood. That's his work.

[00:08:34]That's his job. like he's probably got a loan on that. He's probably got a huge line of credit for his construction company. He needs to take that piece of equipment. He needs to go to job sites in order to bring in income in order to pay his bills. That's his livelihood.

[00:08:46]You are now taking the roof off of his head. You're taking the food off of his table because you have wrecked his business equipment.

[00:08:53]>> Yeah. It's much deeper than just you wrecked my equipment.

[00:08:58]>> Exactly. I I feel like it's been 10 years and if he still's holding that grudge, it's because you guys are entitled, selfish, and you haven't made it right.

[00:09:07]>> Yeah.

[00:09:07]>> There's a there's a video that I found for you. Just I just want to give you a visual representation of what this looks like. So, if you're on YouTube, you'll get this little clip. Get Trac's reaction here. So, that's skid loader, little skid steer.

[00:09:20]So, I imagine went something like this.

[00:09:24]Starts swaying. You can't you can't stop it. and then it would just tumble over and then roll the truck too.

[00:09:31]>> This guy luckily saved it. But I'm imagining that biggest swing that there was.

[00:09:36]>> Happen with our trailer.

[00:09:37]>> It can't because we have a dy. Well, I mean, okay, it can. No, it absolutely can if like >> Oh, it's just it it matters >> if you if your truck's too small and your the weight is too heavy at the back can't handle it. Ours we can handle a lot, but it could if we're in a bad enough situation. That could happen with our truck and trailer. That's what my worst fear. My worst fear when we're trolling the RV that we have.

[00:09:59]>> I didn't know I didn't know to have that fear. Now, new fear unlocked.

[00:10:02]>> Yeah. New fear unlocked.

[00:10:03]>> Great.

[00:10:04]>> Yeah.

[00:10:05]>> Terrified.

[00:10:05]>> Right. So, top comment says, "You're the [ __ ] Your family stole $50,000 plus dollars in work equipment from your brother-in-law. They didn't pay him back. By the sounds of it, showed zero remorse. And he just needs to get over it. You and your family sound massively entitled. Your brother-in-law is smart to cut the lot of you clean off." Yes.

[00:10:25]>> I like how the wife stood up stood by say I want to know how she feels about the whole situation.

[00:10:31]>> Probably feels betrayed by her family.

[00:10:33]>> Betrayed, but she still goes to family.

[00:10:35]Yeah. Like she didn't cut them off, >> right?

[00:10:37]>> So yeah, I can imagine she's in a really tough spot.

[00:10:40]>> She's in a tough spot. I like how she >> she is standing up for him. She's standing by him for this.

[00:10:44]>> She and her kids were going to come and then she's left the husband out of it.

[00:10:48]And then now that the brother like snapped back, she's like, "Now we're not coming."

[00:10:52]>> Yeah.

[00:10:52]>> Yeah. I like that.

[00:10:52]>> I like that, too. Uh, somebody did reply to that talk comment and said, "Not just that. I'm actually surprised insurance paid out anything. In the UK, this would be an atfall claim and more likely than not outside the scope of insurance because they were towing beyond their vehicle limit. Parents should be grateful all he's done is ignore them. I would have sued. Courts again in the UK set up payment plans so their relative lack of wealth wouldn't be a major issue. Beyond that, I would have also reported it stolen. To be fair about this though, the sister shouldn't have let them have it against his wishes. It wasn't her stuff to share. He should have been pissed off at her as well.

[00:11:28]Can't have a successful relationship if you're not on the same page. I imagine he was pissed off at her.

[00:11:33]>> Yeah, >> massively. But it is your wife >> and you said until death do us part until your dumb family or not dumb family does us a part. So, you know, he made it work.

[00:11:45]>> Yeah.

[00:11:46]>> Uh there's an edit to answer some questions. Let's get something straight.

[00:11:50]My dad and brother are not bad people.

[00:11:52]They are good people who made a mistake.

[00:11:54]They couldn't pay back brother-in-law because he wanted almost $70,000 and again were not rich. Dad had to buy another truck because he needed to go to work. On the other hand, brother-in-law has three other sets of skid loaders and dump trailers on his lot that day so he could take the financial hit while my parents would be homeless.

[00:12:15]Brother-in-law and sis are way better off than the rest of us. So, while I understand your reasoning of paying brother-in-law back, he doesn't need it.

[00:12:23]The cruise to Mexico isn't some millionaire trip. The total cost is about $3,000, and it'll take over 20 people to pay for that. Again, we're not rich. We can barely cover $3,000 spread out over 20 people. So, there's no way we can pay $70,000.

[00:12:42]H.

[00:12:44]He doesn't need it. How do you know what he needs? He had three other trailers there so he could take the financial hit. How do you know anything about his business? How do you know anything about his jobs lined up? How do you know all four of those skid loaders didn't need to go to jobs on Monday?

[00:13:04]I like that whole edit there is a lot of entitlement to me. But you you're quiet.

[00:13:08]>> I know.

[00:13:09]>> You're like he's rich. He can handle it.

[00:13:11]No, I'm just thinking like I don't know if the situation like if it's like a drastic difference, you know, like completely opposite ends of like tax brackets and they are rich rich and OP is poor poor.

[00:13:32]I do obviously think like accountability should be taken and some like you need to show that you care or even a little bit and before yeah before you're paying for your parents trip to Mexico like they should be paying for a little bit towards the just to try to make amends anyways but yeah I guess I I would like to know if brother-in-law was demanding like the full like the total payment upfront like was he accepting anything. I don't know. We just don't have those details. I guess >> he didn't sue him, so I don't think he's that worried about it.

[00:14:07]>> I guess that's true. Yeah.

[00:14:08]>> But it doesn't mean it wasn't a big hit for him. I mean, unless you're like a a major construction company where you're incorporated and if you're a family-owned construction business, even if you have a lot of value in equipment, I feel like you're not like rich rich where you're not going to feel that hit.

[00:14:22]>> That is true.

[00:14:23]>> Like in this case, even though he's got four other ones and whatnot, like it's still his yard. I don't >> He's still working.

[00:14:28]>> He's still working. Like >> Yeah. It's not like old money. Yeah, >> he doesn't have to work.

[00:14:32]>> Or if you're like one of the major construction companies, I don't know what they are in the States, but up here we we see like Acon and Conrain are like massive ones. Those are like corporations where they own a bunch of huge stuff. Like, okay, you can take the hit on a piece of company like this, but if like you're managing it all yourself, like you can't be that big and you're going to feel this hit.

[00:14:49]>> Yeah. Okay.

[00:14:51]>> I don't know.

[00:14:51]>> Yeah.

[00:14:52]>> I don't know.

[00:14:53]>> I think I agree with that.

[00:14:55]>> Pretty [snorts] wild.

[00:14:56]>> Yeah.

[00:14:58]>> That's nuts. I would love to own a skid loader. [laughter] >> That's why you found this one.

[00:15:03]>> That's why I like this one.

[00:15:04]>> Are you searching skid skid loader?

[00:15:06]>> I No, I I was not. [laughter] >> We should do a construction episode.

[00:15:11]>> No.

[00:15:12]>> Mighty Machines.

[00:15:13]>> Mighty Machines.

[00:15:15]>> Yeah. Mighty Machines. Bob the Builder.

[00:15:19]>> Bob the Builder. Can we fix it?

[00:15:24]>> I never really watched as a kid, so I love Bob. Bob the Builder. Okay. Oh, to me.

[00:15:29]>> Okay.

[00:15:31]>> You know what I realized on the last episode? We talked about my nibbling's birthday party, how he turned two. We never even said the gifts that we got him. We got him, we went vintage antique shopping, and we got him a bulldozer, toy bulldozer, and a toy dump truck.

[00:15:45]Construction equipment.

[00:15:46]>> It was cute.

[00:15:47]>> Didn't get him a skid loader, though.

[00:15:48]Next year.

[00:15:49]>> Skid loader.

[00:15:50]>> Darn.

[00:15:52]>> All right, back to you.

[00:15:54]>> All right. My brother is hosting a pool party at my house today and I found out from my mother last night.

[00:16:01]>> Oh no.

[00:16:02]>> I'm sitting in my office right now trying to work. I work remotely and I can hear my family in the backyard having a pool party. A pool party that has been in planning for a week. A pool party I did not know about until last night.

[00:16:15]>> She's at home. [sighs and gasps] >> I totally thought she was going to be gone like on vacation. Had a work trip.

[00:16:22]I have a large house with an ingground pool and I've always told my family they can come over but to let me know ahead of time. This year no one has used the pool so I haven't done a lot of upkeep on it. I have a salt system so it stays fairly balanced on its own but I've been really busy with work so I haven't used it myself. Last night I was talking to my mother and she said well I'll see you tomorrow. I asked what she meant by that and she said for the pool party. After digging, I found out that my brother was planning on coming over the following day to use my pool. He was bringing his daughters and had coordinated with my sister to have her kids come over as well. Since my sister and her husband worked during the day, my parents would be bringing them by. I asked how long this has been in the planning and my mom said for at least a few days now and they were just figuring out which day was best. My sister, my parents live with her, overheard the conversation and texted me to verify I knew all about this and was surprised to find out I did not. She texted her brother subtly asking if he had coordinated at all with me. 5 minutes later, I get a text from my brother saying he planned to come swimming the next day with one of his daughters, but he would be very quiet and they know I work at home. So, around 11:30 a.m., my brother shows up with his oldest daughter. I said hello, but went back to work. That is when he mentioned the extra people that would be there. At first, I didn't care that much since everyone is family and they had seen my house messy before. Then he mentions his daughter's boyfriend is coming too. He said, quote, "Well, she asked if he can come, so I said yes. I love my family, but they really drive me nuts sometimes.

[00:17:56]It is not usually a big deal if my family comes over. But the fact that my brother coordinated things with other people, his ex-wife, my sister, my parents, and never thought to ask me if it was okay is just infuriating. And then to invite complete strangers as well.

[00:18:12]I mean, the brother, the boyfriend, whatever. But the whole thing of like in the beginning, huh? It's my pool, my backyard. You're not even asking me you.

[00:18:24]It's very entitled if you invite anybody else to join you to go to the pool without even asking. If I said, "Hey, you can show up at any time, swim my pool, whenever." And you just show up or you text me and you're like, "Hey, I'll be over. I'm going to come over in the afternoon and go swimming." That's fine.

[00:18:39]After you text me and say, "Hey, I'm going to come over and swimming." Then you can make plans with other people and then you can ask me if other people can come, too.

[00:18:46]>> Absolutely.

[00:18:46]>> But you shouldn't have permission.

[00:18:48]>> You shouldn't make any plans before you've even asked.

[00:18:52]>> Yes. Because then then if you know people have already gathered and made these plans without you like then you feel pressured. You have to say yes otherwise you're going to be the bad person ruining everyone's plans.

[00:19:02]>> Yeah.

[00:19:03]>> So yeah absolutely. I my question is was he ever even going to tell her because >> yeah I was very confused. She said mom we'll see you tomorrow and then she said my sister text me to verify I knew about this and was surprised when I didn't. I didn't understand that part. She said that her parents live with her sister.

[00:19:23]So mom was on the phone >> overheard the conversation. So she texted her during the conversation. She said after digging I found out that my brother was planning. Was that the digging? Like the mom didn't tell her the sister. I got kind of confused on that part.

[00:19:38]>> I don't know about the digging but I just know sister overheard their conversation mom and OP. And then sister texted brother and was like did you even tell our sister about this?

[00:19:49]>> Yeah. And then that's when he texted her and was like, "Hey, by the way, coming tomorrow and [ __ ] you."

[00:19:56]>> [ __ ] you. P's closed.

[00:19:58]>> Also, like she said, "You can come over, just have to let me know." Like that's the caveat. You can't come over anytime and not let me know.

[00:20:07]>> Yeah.

[00:20:07]>> Also, that's a liability. If someone drowns in your pool, I hope brother drowns. You are liable.

[00:20:13]>> Well, now I'm hoping her brother drowns.

[00:20:15]He doesn't deserve that pool. He doesn't deserve to live. [snorts] >> I mean, >> you're sick.

[00:20:20]>> Soft drown. He just chokes up a little bit of water.

[00:20:23]>> Oh, >> but he survives.

[00:20:25]>> They did CPR on him. [laughter] They said mouth to mouth.

[00:20:34][laughter] >> Okay. Well, yeah. No. Uh, this is this is a no longer an open invitation.

[00:20:44]You've >> you've lost your rights.

[00:20:46]>> You've lost your benefit. Yeah.

[00:20:47]>> I need at least one week's notice from you from now on.

[00:20:51]>> You're banned. Actually, >> you're taking it too far now. [laughter] >> I'm not wishing death upon them.

[00:21:00]>> You're still too far.

[00:21:01]>> I'm too far. Please.

[00:21:04]>> I gave him mercy. I gave him CPR.

[00:21:06][laughter] >> Top comment says, "So you kicked them out, right?" OP says, "I wish. My brother had some severe mental issues around the time he got divorced, and I still treat him with kid gloves sometimes."

[00:21:20]>> Stop doing that.

[00:21:23]>> Yeah.

[00:21:26]Sounds like OP doesn't like confrontation.

[00:21:29]>> Yeah.

[00:21:30]>> A non-confrontational girly as well.

[00:21:32]>> I would be pretty frustrated if I had to work from home and everybody, you know, was playing in my [ __ ] pool.

[00:21:37]>> I wouldn't be able to work. I'M JUST >> I'D BE sitting in rage.

[00:21:42]>> I'd buy a mouse mover off Amazon. Put that [ __ ] just making me see looking busy.

[00:21:47]>> And then what? Go attend the pool party.

[00:21:49]>> Yeah, go dunk. Go jump on him when he's in the pool. I drown him myself by jumping on him.

[00:21:56]>> I hope we can have a pool one day.

[00:21:58]That'd be so nice. Um, >> you know, people always say you think you're going to use it and then you never use it. I would use it. I know I would. I I know I would too.

[00:22:08]>> I know I would.

[00:22:09]>> I would use it the f very first the whole year we put it in and then the next year I'm >> Why?

[00:22:15]>> Because I just It's like what they say like >> you think you'll use it then you don't.

[00:22:21]One time I went to a a massage therapist and it was in like his walkout basement the backyard and he had a hot tub and I was like damn does that thing actually see much use or is it just like you know it's one of those things I thought was a good idea but then you didn't use it very much. She's like, "Dude, we use that thing 5 days a week."

[00:22:36]>> Damn. See, I would never use a hot tub.

[00:22:38]>> A pool. Yes.

[00:22:39]>> I feel like a hot tub is only fun as a teenager when you're getting drunk with your friends going in the hot tub.

[00:22:45]>> Yeah.

[00:22:47]Yeah. Okay. Before we get into the edit, I'm just going to give a quick trigger warning for talks of suicide. There's an edit that says, "My brother got divorced 5 years ago and lived with me for 2 years. When he moved out, he ended up moving an hour away. Due to this, during the school year, we have a set schedule where he and his daughter stay overnight at my house about twice a month. But during the summer, there is no schedule for him coming by.

[00:23:11]>> Interesting. He lived with you for 2 years. Okay. So, this is why he feels pretty entitled. It's like his home basically. He lived there for two years.

[00:23:18]So, this is why she's feeling it's a little bit entitlement. And he's also, you know, he's pushing the boundaries because he lived there for two years.

[00:23:27]During the school year, he stays over twice a month.

[00:23:30]Some blurred lines going on here.

[00:23:32]>> Yeah.

[00:23:32]>> But I think regardless, you're planning a party. You shouldn't plan a party without asking. You're also driving an hour. Like what if the pool's under maintenance or something?

[00:23:41]>> Yeah. What if I'm having my own pool party?

[00:23:44]>> Yeah. What if there's n I'm having a nudest pool party with all my nudest friends in the backyard?

[00:23:48]>> Exactly.

[00:23:49]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:23:51]>> Second edit says, "What I thought would be a light-hearted post is becoming both a beating and a wakeup call. For 20 years, I was low contact with my family for reasons, maybe some of them being evident in this post. But I moved back six years ago since my parents were getting older and my niece and nephews were growing up without me knowing them.

[00:24:10]And in trying to make up for lost time, I've become a complete doormat. My brother attempted suicide a few years back, and I started letting his bad behavior slide because I didn't want to trigger him. And all I did was enable him instead. I used to have a regular therapist and worked on these type of issues with her, but never found a new one since I moved. Guess that is overdue now. I will work on the boundaries, but I obviously have a lot of work to do.

[00:24:33]Thanks for the feedback. Well, maybe not all of it. No way I can reply to everyone, especially as 60% of the comments are, quote, "Why do you do this?" The answer is because I'm an idiot who believes that they always have to help family even when they are being an [ __ ] >> All right, I can see how we got here.

[00:24:50]Yeah, >> I don't really blame you.

[00:24:52]>> I could see how we got here.

[00:24:54]>> Neither do I.

[00:24:55]>> It's just a pool.

[00:24:56]>> They are They are entitled, but as long as they're not coming over and swim in your pool, you're not there.

[00:25:05]That would be really bad. That would be the worst.

[00:25:07]>> But the Okay, but the issue is like, how did they know for sure she was going to be there >> without asking? Yeah, but she could have taken the day off. Like, >> right. She could have been on a work trip.

[00:25:18]>> Yeah.

[00:25:18]>> Yeah. I I feel like half the entitlement comes from like how much he like lives there. So I I can see how we got here. I can see how we got here. Yeah, I can have a word with them, but it is entitled. Yeah, I see how we got here. I see how these entitled people got entitled.

[00:25:32]>> All right.

[00:25:32]>> All right. Over to you.

[00:25:34]>> Over to me. All right. This one's coming from r/cats.

[00:25:38]>> Yay.

[00:25:39]>> Title is very interesting series of events y'all should read. I'm just going to say it up front here. I stretched to include this one in this theme. I don't need Teresa to call me out when I get to the end.

[00:25:53]>> You're gonna tell I'm gonna tell you I'm g tell you up front. I stretched a little bit. So, let me know where you think that I think the entitlement is coming from in this story.

[00:26:03]>> Oh, a uh what's it called? Um oh my gosh. Uh no, what's it called?

[00:26:10]>> Don't worry. Don't worry. I'll edit this to make it seem so smooth for you.

[00:26:16]a riddle.

[00:26:18]>> Yeah, sure. Okay, so >> this uh this is a post by somebody says, "Jury duty letter came in addressed to my cat."

[00:26:27]>> Huh?

[00:26:28]>> Not a mistake. Felix Martinez. That's his full name according to his vet records. My last name, his first name.

[00:26:37]Somehow he's a registered voter now. So, if you don't know this, when you take your pet into the animal hospital, they ask for their first name and whatever your last name is, that's what they put.

[00:26:45]So, like we got Jacku and we got Luna Katu. Basically, our kids.

[00:26:48]>> I think Luna is still a pretty sono.

[00:26:50]>> Maybe depending on which vet she goes to. If I took her, you took her.

[00:26:54]>> All right. Called the county clerk. And here's how the conversation went. Me, my cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk, is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk, is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me. He's a legal cat. Clerk.

[00:27:13]Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.

[00:27:18]Me, can't file anything. He has paws.

[00:27:21]Clerk, you can file on his behalf. Me.

[00:27:24]Under what exemption? There's no box for quote is a cat. [laughter] Clerk. A pause. Check. Quote. unable to serve due to medical reasons. Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk, he's a cat.

[00:27:40]>> Please, >> me. That's not a medical condition.

[00:27:42]Clerk, it is if it prevents him from serving. So, I sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. Quote, insignificant documentation. Please provide medical professional statement.

[00:27:54]Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet, why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet, this is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me, can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet, on what grounds? Me: He's a cat.

[00:28:17]>> If it isn't obvious. vet starts typing quote patient is unable to serve due to species related limitations including inability to speak read or comprehend legal proceedings me perfect sent it in got another rejection quote summon is mandatory failure to appear will result in contempt of court roommate thought this was hilarious roommate Felix is going to jail me this is serious roommate. Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left.

[00:28:55]>> Stop.

[00:28:56]>> Day of jury duty. Put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk. Name? Me? Felix Martinez. Clerk. Looked at the cat carrier. Is that Felix? Me? Yes. Clerk.

[00:29:12]Long stare. He's a cat. Me. I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk, why didn't you file an exemption? Me? I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them.

[00:29:26]Expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk. Someone rejected the veterary documentation. Me twice. Clerk calls her supervisor over. You need to see this. Supervisor reads everything.

[00:29:40]Looked at Felix. Looked at me.

[00:29:42]Supervisor, how did a cat get registered to vote? Me? You tell me. Supervisor, this is a data error. Me? Took you 6 weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologize for the inconvenience. Supervisor, we'll remove him from the voter registry. Me.

[00:30:00]Appreciate it. Supervisor. Pause. Out of curiosity. How would he have voted? Me.

[00:30:08][laughter] Probably whatever party supports universal treats.

[00:30:13]got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card for me this time. Apparently, I wasn't registered, but my cat was.

[00:30:21]>> What?

[00:30:22]>> Roommate says, "Felix committed voter fraud." [laughter] I replied, "Felix committed nothing.

[00:30:28]He's innocent." Roommate says, "That's what they all say." Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career.

[00:30:36]>> Oh, is this real?

[00:30:39]>> I think so.

[00:30:40]>> Where was this posted? It's posted to r/cats.

[00:30:43]>> Oh, I >> think I said that.

[00:30:44]>> But it's a screenshot of >> Yeah, it's screenshots.

[00:30:46]>> It's a tweet.

[00:30:48]>> Tweets. Screenshots and tweets.

[00:30:50]>> That's really funny.

[00:30:51]>> Uh comment says, "Right. So, I suppose this technicality should be removed under our quote no memes/loweffort rule, but it's the best thing I read all week.

[00:31:01]I don't care if it's really happened or not. It's hilarious. And I'm pulling a mod abuse. I'm pulling a mod abuse and I'm allowing this post because joy is best joy." And that [laughter] that was uh um >> because sharejoy is best joy.

[00:31:13]>> Because share joy is best joy. And that was a pinned comment from a mod.

[00:31:18]>> That's funny.

[00:31:20]>> Yeah. Uh so I I think I think the county was very entitled to Felix's vote.

[00:31:25]>> I agree.

[00:31:26]>> Yeah, >> I agree.

[00:31:28]>> Yeah, >> those darn county folk.

[00:31:30]>> Very entitled. Very very entitled. How dare they? Okay, >> that was good.

[00:31:35]>> Moving on.

[00:31:36]>> All right. My dad's girlfriend thinks I have my monthly lady time to spite her.

[00:31:42]Warning if you find the talk of menstruation gross. It's not graphic, but it's there. So, okay. I'm going to be so honest. I'm so heated right now.

[00:31:50]So, if I make spelling mistakes, my bad.

[00:31:53]I'm rage typing, lol. But a lot of my friends who I'd vent to are night shift workers, so I'm not going to wake them up. Anyways, I went on a short holiday for Father's Day with my family and I've been having issues with them because he's dating an actual demon and it's awful, but that's another story.

[00:32:10]Anyways, I have a heavy flow and when she's here, she is here. If you know, you know. And obviously, when Auntie Flo is in town, I'm not having the best time ever. And sadly, she currently is. So, I stayed at my grandparents place cuz grandpa only has so long left and we are doing a family thing. And I was on my period and showed up because duh. And I unfortunately left a stain on the sheets I was sleeping in. Granny don't care.

[00:32:34]But my dad's beloved demon spawn of a girlfriend brought the bed sheets that were in the laundry room into the living room on Father's Day to shame me for being gross and tried to embarrass me.

[00:32:45]Such a sweetheart. Anyways, Granny went nuts, kicked her and my dad out, and they are both banned from everything.

[00:32:51]He'll maybe be welcome back if he writes an authentic apology note and dumps her, but he's a loser, so I doubt it. Why I posted to entitled people? Oh, because she told my grandma I had my period in my granny's house to spite her for her menopause and that I was taunting her and that I was trying to mock her for her infertility.

[00:33:11]I swear you guys, I'm not exaggerating or making this [ __ ] up. That was legit what she said. Like, can you tell the period fairy to shut this [ __ ] off, please? I will gladly cosign. Also, why are you checking my bed sheets when we are both grown adults not sharing a room, weirdo? What? [laughter] What?

[00:33:33]What?

[00:33:36]What?

[00:33:38]Wait, what? Okay, I'm the girlfriend. I I wake up in the morning. I wake up in the morning and I'm like, "I'm just gonna go walk into another bedroom and inspect those bed sheets." I knew it. I had a hunch. And I knew there's going to be period of blood on these sheets.

[00:34:01]Shame. Let's bring this downstairs.

[00:34:05]Not a girl's girl.

[00:34:07]>> Far from it. You'd think as a fellow woman you would understand that it happens, >> but Oh, no.

[00:34:17]>> No. She thinks the opposite.

[00:34:19]>> No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:34:22]You're making fun of me. You made fun of me because you bled on your bed sheets.

[00:34:27]You didn't say, "Hey, look at me. I'm on my period." You didn't bring your own bed sheets down and be like, "Can someone help me change my bed sheets?"

[00:34:34]No, no, no, no, no. You just bled in your own bed sheets and then left it >> to taunt us to mock us.

[00:34:40]>> To taunt you even though you I didn't even know you'd be coming into my bedroom.

[00:34:47]>> Here in your face, I'm still fertile and you're not.

[00:34:52]>> You know, I would just put my hand down there and pull it out and be like, "Smell it. Be jealous."

[00:34:59]I I'd put my whole hand down there and then I'd go up to her and I'd wipe it along her face and like enjoy.

[00:35:06]>> That's enough. That's enough out of you.

[00:35:08]>> Is that too far?

[00:35:09]>> That's too far.

[00:35:10]>> [ __ ] >> Yeah, I think you did it.

[00:35:13][laughter] >> That's interesting.

[00:35:15]>> This one made me like I was like you. I was like, "What did I just [ __ ] read?"

[00:35:20]>> Yeah, it's very surprising. Like you would think the stepdad would be like, "How gross are you period?" You know, you know, this would be the typical thing of like a man because he doesn't understand. Never had a period. Yeah. He never had a period, so he has no like, you know, empathy for that situation type of thing. [ __ ] But it's a woman. It's just like so much worse.

[00:35:43]>> It does make it worse. Definitely.

[00:35:44]>> She should know better.

[00:35:46]>> She should.

[00:35:47]>> Not a girl's girl.

[00:35:49]>> Top says, "Well done, Granny." OP replies, "She's a baddie."

[00:35:54]>> Yeah.

[00:35:55]>> Hell yeah.

[00:35:55]>> Yeah. Let's go, Grand. Let's go. Grand.

[00:36:00]All right. This one's coming from our slash entitled people. Title is, "Why haven't you done our driveway?"

[00:36:07]So, I live in an area that gets a lot of snow and since I recently retired, I decide to graduate from shoveling my driveway and I bought myself a snowblower. I get up early whenever we get snowfall and I clear my driveway and time permitting the driveways of the neighbors on either side of me. One a fellow retiree and the other a widow. A few days ago, we got dumped on. So, I did my driveway and the neighbors. Put the blower away and decided to binge some Sopranos. Just as I was settling, there was a knock on the door, and when I answered, there stood Karen. Karen and her husband moved into the neighborhood a few months ago, but are five doors down from me. I opened the door to be MET WITH, QUOTE, "WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE OUR DRIVEWAY YET? We're going to be late for work.

[00:36:52]I saw you."

[00:36:53]>> What monster is that? I saw you finish the other two. It suddenly dawned on me.

[00:36:59]She was expecting me to clear her driveway as well. I calmly explained that I do it for the other two driveways as a kindness for the people on either side of me. She retorted with, "Where are your neighbors, too?" and stayed there. I realized she had no intention of leaving. So, without skipping a beat, I closed my door, locked it, and went back to my lazy boy.

[00:37:20]>> Are people so [ __ ] for real?

[00:37:25]Yep.

[00:37:27]Yep.

[00:37:29]>> What?

[00:37:30]>> Right.

[00:37:32]>> Oh my god. We've done entitled people. I think I don't know episode 11 or something.

[00:37:38]It was a long long time ago and I remember being like >> it's a special.

[00:37:44]>> It's just Yes.

[00:37:45]>> special kind of person.

[00:37:47]>> It really does take a special kind of person to to think like this, act like this. Like, not only does she think this in her head like, "Ah, that damn neighbor. How dare she not do our driveway?" No, she has the coonies.

[00:38:00]>> Cojones.

[00:38:01]>> The coonies.

[00:38:02]>> The cooners >> to walk on over five doors down, bang on her door, his or her door, and be like, "Why haven't you done our driveway?"

[00:38:14]>> Yeah. Why? Why? What are you waiting for?

[00:38:17]Don't you know the one person the person with the snowblower does the whole street?

[00:38:23]>> Why not the street behind us?

[00:38:25]>> Why not the whole city?

[00:38:27]>> Why not the next city over?

[00:38:28]>> Why not the whole country? Why stop there to the world? It'll only take you a couple nights.

[00:38:36]>> Oh my god. No. My She has to have some sort of illness.

[00:38:42]>> Entitlement illness.

[00:38:46]Oh, >> all right. Uh, top comment says, "I hope you closed it slowly with squinted eyes, [laughter] eye contact like Lucille Blof GIF."

[00:38:59]>> Lucille Bluff, I think. Not that I know who that is.

[00:39:02]>> Blu- h.

[00:39:05]It's this lady.

[00:39:07]>> I do recognize her, >> but I don't I don't I don't know. I don't know where who is she. Arrested development.

[00:39:16]Oh, winky face. I get it.

[00:39:20]>> Yeah, I get it. I get it now. Don't worry, guys. I get it. If you're on YouTube, you get it, too. If you're on Spotify, sorry, you can't see. You don't have eyes. You're blind.

[00:39:31]>> I feel like we need to um address the whole Spotify video thing again because I've seen it the comments resurfacing again. We've addressed it like 50 episodes ago or something. But >> we'll be real with you why we don't do Spotify video.

[00:39:45]>> Yes.

[00:39:46]>> Tell them.

[00:39:46]>> Fully transparency.

[00:39:48]>> You tell them.

[00:39:49]>> Uh we we won't make money off of Spotify if we do video. And that's I know that video exists and people do make money off of Spotify, but the particular ad agency that we work with does not allow it.

[00:40:05]>> Yes.

[00:40:06]>> And that's just that. And we apologize.

[00:40:10]>> We do apologize. um from the kindness of our hearts. Um but we we do sit here on our couch reading these stories, taking all the hate comments from the people who don't like us on the internet and we take all of that in order to earn an income and not having Spotify video earns us more income than than having it. So we appreciate your patience and maybe one day we'll get on video. Maybe one day I would write a write a letter to Spotify or something asking them to change something about their ads or >> something about ad tracking and pixels.

[00:40:40]If you're a tech person, >> yeah, maybe you'll understand pixels.

[00:40:43]When they told me that, I was like, so the answer is no. And they were like, yeah, pixels. And I was like, all right, the answer's no.

[00:40:49]>> Like, duh. You didn't know about the pixels.

[00:40:50]>> You don't know about the [ __ ] pixels.

[00:40:52]Something about pixel tracking.

[00:40:55]>> Hour. What the hell pixel tracking is, but okay.

[00:40:59]>> All right, moving on. All right. Also, before we get into the next story, I forgot it's a Tuesday. Word of the day.

[00:41:08]It may have already happened.

[00:41:10]>> It may have not happened already. I just forgot about saying it. And >> hint hint, go back and rewatch the whole episode. [laughter] >> Um, >> and if you comment on YouTube and you drop the word down below, you'll get entered to win a raffle draw for a Jack and Luna t-shirt. You could also click the link down below and buy your own without waiting for the raffle. But we appreciate everybody who uh clicks the like button on the video. And the reason that that is on YouTube and not Spotify is because there's a website that just it will randomly select a a commenter from YouTube. I don't know how to do that for Spotify. Yeah. So that that's why that is. But we'll we're actually going to do the three raffle draws at the end of this episode because of our Aderondax trip. So yeah, >> stay tuned.

[00:41:54]>> Stay tuned.

[00:41:55]>> All right. I don't care what you are.

[00:41:58]You can't park in my spot.

[00:42:00]I am a paramedic in a place that has some HOAs and apartment complexes. We hate responding to the apartment complexes because there is nothing but assigned parking and no fire zones.

[00:42:11]Basically, if we can't find a spot to fit in, we have to block the road. My agency also uses first responder vehicles and ambulances. The first responders, as implied, usually arrive first, so we do our best to leave room for the ambulance to fit in. We get a call at the apartment complex. I am the first responder. As I pull up to the address, by some miracle, there is a spot only two apartments away. Great. I can leave the road clear for the ambulance. As soon as I park, out comes this guy screaming, "I can't park there." I do the are you serious? Look, and just say medical emergency. And he says he doesn't care. I can't park there. Keep in mind, my vehicle has enough lights to make a Christmas tree jealous. I just grab my stuff, lock the vehicle, and keep going. He is screaming. He is going to call the cops.

[00:42:58]I tell him they are already on their way. They respond to medical emergencies. Cops get there while I'm in with the patient and tells him basically to pound salt. The cop enters the apartment and then this guy really goes full-blown entitled. He enters the apartment, comes into the room where I'm treating the patient. He starts ranting and raving how I have to move my vehicle. I look at the cop and say, "Get him out of here." The cop then seals his fate. She asked the patient if she wants this person removed from the apartment and did she ever give consent for him to enter. The patient's response was quote, "Get him the [ __ ] out. He's trespassing." Boom. The all clear. The cop gives him one last chance and tells him to leave or he will get arrested. He doubles down. Quote, "I am on the HOA board. I can go where I please." At this point, backup is called. The cops at least manhandle him out of the room. The ambulance arrived with PD backup and they get him out of the apartment so we can safely remove the patient. Not entirely sure what happened next as I was in the back of the ambulance. But when I got out, one of the officers approaches and says, "Sorry, but we need another bus. We had to tase him."

[00:44:08][laughter] Policy for PD is that if they tase someone, they have to be transported to the hospital by ambulance as the taser spikes have to be surgically removed due to the barbs on them. Wait for the second ambulance. They take him. I go back in service. Found out a few weeks later he was charged with trespassing, assaulting an officer, resisting arrest, interference with government administration, aka interfering with the scene of emergency, all over a parking space that I would have been in for all of 20 minutes if he hadn't created problems. I can only assume he took a plea deal as I was never called to testify.

[00:44:45]>> [sighs] >> How do you care that much about a parking space where you barge your way in to an emergency happening into somebody else's house? The cops waiting >> the cops telling you to leave. It's like he [ __ ] wanted to get taken. It's like he's got a sick fetish and he [ __ ] got off by getting >> tic mission.

[00:45:08]>> I'm going to go with the fetish one. You know, like you were you were trying to kill people in the stories and I'm trying to be restrain myself over here now. The murder podcasts are wearing off for me. [laughter] >> Oh, all of a sudden 20 minutes ago it was in full-blown.

[00:45:23]>> That's a lot of amount. That's a large amount of time.

[00:45:26]>> Okay.

[00:45:26]>> A lot changes. People change. People change.

[00:45:29]>> Good to know. It takes 20 minutes.

[00:45:31]>> People change. Yeah. I just Oh my gosh.

[00:45:36]Also too, like what's he doing where like as soon as she parks there, HE'S LIKE, "AH, [screaming] I SEE YOU PARKING THERE. Don't park there." Maybe he was waiting outside for like his girlfriend to come over or something and like he's like, "That's my spot." You know, where's she going to park?

[00:45:52]>> I'm I'm picturing he's an old man, has nothing better to do with his life. He's grumpy and miserable and lonely and he all he has to do is sit by his window and watch people watch.

[00:46:11]>> That sounds like a nice life.

[00:46:12]>> And [laughter] >> peaceful, >> does it?

[00:46:15]>> No.

[00:46:17]>> And no, he just he likes the drama.

[00:46:20]>> Yeah, >> he's a drama girly. He loves he lives for the drama and he likes to create that [ __ ] So that's my theory.

[00:46:30]>> Okay.

[00:46:30]>> Yeah. I the whole ambulance drive there, I would absolutely I would excoriate him for being in the way of a medical emergency.

[00:46:44]Absolutely not. Top comment. This is absolutely disgusting. It boils my blood when people don't even get out of the way on the road. I hope these people or their families never have to wait for emergency help. Then they will know how it feels in that scary situation instead of bitching over a parking spot. Some people need to get their priorities straight. He deserved to be tased.

[00:47:04]Barging into someone's apartment when they are vulnerable receiving medical treatment. What a jerk. I completely overlooked that. Like he barged in >> to her apartment.

[00:47:16]>> Yeah.

[00:47:18]>> I thought it was just happening out in like I don't know outside of like her apartment like in the common areas or something.

[00:47:24]>> Like get the [ __ ] out of here. He's trespassing.

[00:47:26]>> Oh, he is. Okay. Yeah.

[00:47:27]>> If I was police officer, I would have like put my arm out and closlined him.

[00:47:31]He like tried to walk into the apartment like boom boom boom clothes line clos line.

[00:47:37]>> Tas tased.

[00:47:38]>> Yeah. Well, you mean he's got to be a little hostile to get tased.

[00:47:41]>> I had no idea barbs stayed inside of you.

[00:47:44]>> Yeah. You didn't know that?

[00:47:45]>> You have to get them medically removed.

[00:47:46]Surgically removed.

[00:47:47]>> Yeah. So, they're like they're like little arrowheads. You know how have you seen arrowheads? How they got the points that go backwards? They're like barbs.

[00:47:53]So when they shoot the guy with the taser, it stays in his skin and then the electricity comes.

[00:47:58]>> No, I had no idea.

[00:47:59]>> Yeah, it's pretty cool.

[00:48:01]>> Cool.

[00:48:02]>> Yeah.

[00:48:02]>> Your idea of cool and my idea of cool are very different.

[00:48:05]>> I mean, it's it's pretty cool weapon. I like weapons. Swords, tasers, bows and arrows.

[00:48:12]>> What the heck?

[00:48:12]>> Tanks, fighter pilots.

[00:48:16]>> You want everyone to die?

[00:48:18]>> Since when?

[00:48:18]>> Lately?

[00:48:19]>> No.

[00:48:19]>> In like the last five episodes, you're like death. We've listened to a lot of murder podcasts. I don't know what my brain's been rewired. The neurons go in different places.

[00:48:28]>> Interesting.

[00:48:28]>> Yeah. I like the comment below that comment that says, "I do like how firet trucks are allowed to push vehicles who don't move. How gently they do so is up to them.

[00:48:37]>> I did not know that was a thing either."

[00:48:39]>> Then there's an edit that says, "Okay, so apparently my fighter fire friends are completely lying to me and this is wrong.

[00:48:44]>> Goodbye." [laughter] >> He's like, "Move, bitch." So wait, before that edit though, somebody replied and said, "Wait, really? What fun?" And the same commenter replies and says, "Yeah, if you're on the highway and they can't get by you, they are allowed to shove you out of the way and there's nothing you can do to claim damages because emergency vehicles always get priority." It's the same idea that they can break out your windows if you are parked in front of a hydrant.

[00:49:09]I'm sure you've seen people blocking shoulders or something trying to be smart about not letting people pass them and jumping traffic, but that can come back at you. Just the other day, I was stopped in traffic and a police cruiser came up by me so fast my shoulder. I didn't realize he was coming until he was next to me. Any damage to my car would have been my fault if I were over the line.

[00:49:30]And then I think he goes back and and it says apparently this is not the case.

[00:49:35]I have you ever seen someone who doesn't get out of the way for an emergency vehicle? No.

[00:49:39]>> I've never seen somebody who doesn't move out of the way for emergency vehicle.

[00:49:43]>> I'm psychopath.

[00:49:44]>> Do you know I I also is actually a fun game. If you're on like a multi-car highway and you're in the fast lane, the emergency vehicle >> multi-lane >> multi-lane highway like it's a three-lane highway. Two lane highway car highway. So I was confused.

[00:49:56]>> There would be multiple cars there.

[00:49:58]>> I agree. So I I was confused where that was specified.

[00:50:01]>> It's a valid correction. Valid correction. So, like three lane highway, you're in the fast lane and you see the emergency vehicle coming up. So, you've got to mer you got to move over. Fun game. Right when they pass you, you got to get in behind them.

[00:50:13]>> I hate those [ __ ] >> Before the train of vehicle starts coming because if you don't get in directly behind the emergency vehicle, they're all there's already going to be bumperto-bumper like 50 people tailgating that firetruck trying to get through that traffic jam.

[00:50:27]>> I hate those [ __ ] >> Sometimes you can sneak your way in there and then you stay behind your fire truck, but then the game continues. Now that you're in the game, this is just the start of the game. Now the next task is to stay not too close to the firetruck/ police car that you're like tailgating, but stay close enough that nobody else will sneak in front of you because once one person sneaks in front of you, next thing you know, you're 50 cars back. It's an incredible game. Have you ever played it?

[00:50:48]>> No. Like I said, I hate those [ __ ] >> I've played it. I hate the [ __ ] who go up the side the like the dirt side, the dirt side of the road, and they go past you. I want to do that.

[00:50:59]Hate them.

[00:51:01]What about have you ever >> No.

[00:51:04]>> Let's play a drinking game.

[00:51:05]>> Have you ever been sitting in stop and go traffic and a and a and an on-ramp like a merging on-ramp comes up? Have you ever lane changed into that merging lane, rode it to the end, got by 10, 20 cars, and then merged back in?

[00:51:21]>> No.

[00:51:22]>> Feel like I've seen you do it.

[00:51:23]>> I've never me.

[00:51:25]>> It's just me.

[00:51:26]>> I've never done such a thing. I'd be nervous. That does sound like you. I'm just thinking to myself. I've done it. I drank.

[00:51:35]>> You're sick.

[00:51:36]>> All right, [sighs] over to me. This was going from r/ ah.

[00:51:41]Am I the [ __ ] for telling my brother's girlfriend she can't expect me to treat her kids like I treat mine and that she is not entitled to anything from us?

[00:51:51]That was a mouthful. I, 32 female, hey, that's how old I am. Have two sons with my husband, a 10-month-old and a three-year-old. I obviously love my kids, but I don't really like other kids, especially kids I don't know.

[00:52:05]Well, I am just not the maternal type that will want to interact with other kids or find them cute or whatever. My brother has been dating his girlfriend Natalie, 31 female, and she has two kids as well, seven male and five female.

[00:52:20]When we first met Natalie, she seemed excited that I have kids and started planning how our kids will bond and play together. This did not happen. And the main reason is the age different. Again, my kids are 3 years old and 10 months. I don't know how she imagined that her 7-year-old will bond so well with a baby or someone four years younger than him.

[00:52:41]Her 5-year-old daughter is a different situation. She is very rowdy, so my oldest avoids her at all costs when we meet during family functions or whatever. Despite our kids clearly not blending well, I would say we were nice towards Natalie and her kids. Last Christmas, for example, the first Christmas since they got together, we gave gifts to her kids when we met at my parents' place for dinner, and I thought that was enough. However, Natalie decided to confront me on things I apparently did wrong and hurt her feelings. She mentioned the following.

[00:53:14]One, I do not show a special interest in her kids that will potentially become my niece and nephew in the future. Two, I refuse to have her kids over at my place for playdates without her being present.

[00:53:27]To be clear, I am okay with hosting her, my brother, and her kids for dinner or something. Three, I refuse to make my son like her daughter. Four, I am cold towards her kids. I explained to her that I can't and will not force my kid to play or be friends with anyone. I also said that I am not comfortable having her kids in my house without her present. I do not know her kids that well. I have no idea how they behave outside of a few family settings that we have all attended, and I don't want to be responsible for two stranger kids in my house. On the coldness side, I explained to her that I'm not cold on purpose, but this is how I am as a person. I'm not a fan of kids. I'm not overly maternal, and I simply don't feel like being overly excited over kids. She said this is not true because she saw that I am everything I claim not to be with my kids. Well, yes, because they are my own children. She also claims that everyone has been excluding her children. When I asked her how she gave the same examples from above and claimed that my parents are more affectionate towards my kids. Yes, again because they are their grandkids.

[00:54:39]>> In the end, we are not getting anywhere.

[00:54:41]So, I told her, quote, "Look, Natalie, you started dating my brother one year ago. My parents and I had a couple of meetings with you and your kids, and everyone was nice to all of you. I don't know what your problem is, but you need to speak to my brother. No one is excluding your kids, but you can't expect us to treat your kids the same as mine. This is never going to happen. My kids are my kids. They don't owe anything to yours, and you are not entitled to anything from us. Please solve these issues with my brother." My brother apologized for her and mentioned to me she sounds like a mad woman focused on the absurd quote differences she sees when it comes to our kids. He agrees our parents are not doing anything wrong and that I am not doing anything wrong. He knows me and he is aware I'm not doing anything on purpose.

[00:55:25]He said that Natalie has been crying after our discussion. While he agrees with me, he asked me if I can try to be more empathetic towards her feelings. I told him I am polite to her, but she seems manipulative and if she doesn't want to hear the truth, she does not start this kind of discussions with me.

[00:55:43]My brother is lost. He does not know how to manage this madness and I'm honestly confused if I did anything wrong when speaking to her.

[00:55:51]>> No, no, you did not.

[00:55:55]I do think though it must be difficult to like I'm not a mom obviously but if I had kids I would imagine that they are like they would be my entire life and you would want people to treat them nothing like nothing but the best nothing short of the best. So, >> it would be hard to like bring them into another family that's not your family and then I don't know, just notice these little things like favoritism. But you have to be self-aware enough to know that your kids are not going to be treated the same like naturally. like they're not their grandkids or their sons and what their own nephews and and nieces.

[00:56:48]So like I I think it's fair to like feel this way the way that she's feeling.

[00:56:56]Like it must suck, but I don't think you have any right to shame anyone.

[00:57:05]>> Yeah. to feel bad about not treating your kids the same they would their own kids. I don't know. Um yeah, I do find like the most interesting part of this to me is where the one thing she lists is I refuse to have her kids over at my place for playdates without her being present. To be clear, I am okay hosting her, my brother, and her kids for a dinner or something.

[00:57:35]So she OP is not okay with babysitting.

[00:57:39]>> Yeah, >> that's what that that is. It's babysitting.

[00:57:44]>> I guess not. Yeah, it is babysitting cuz it wouldn't be a play date.

[00:57:48]>> It like it kind of would be with your one three-year-old. But even if it is a play date, like I am still looking after these kids. You basically want to hand them off to me. True and go away. The top comments >> I never thought of it like that. Yeah.

[00:58:02]>> Top comment says, "Not the [ __ ] She was hoping to leave them with you for date nights and weekends away. You just slaughtered that dream and she's not happy.

[00:58:10]>> And OP replied and said, "Oh no, that's never going to happen."

[00:58:15]>> Uh, second top comment says, "Not the [ __ ] I only like my kids and my besties kids. All other kids get on my nerves. I will be nice to them, but I'm not a let me hold the baby or host a playday type of person. I will not fawn over any goblins."

[00:58:31]>> How do you know? I I have a question for those types of people cuz I don't have a maternal bone in my body. Not that I think because I also don't like kids.

[00:58:40]But how did you know? Like did you just play roulette having kids?

[00:58:47]>> Oh, right.

[00:58:47]>> Were you like maybe I'll like my kids, maybe I won't. How the [ __ ] do you know?

[00:58:54]>> Maybe they just wanted people to look out for them when they're really old.

[00:58:58]>> Selfish. Is it even worth it?

[00:59:02]>> Selfish.

[00:59:02]>> Like if you think about it, >> what's the reason you're selfish?

[00:59:04]>> Well, if you think about like, you know, return, return value, your ROI, return on investment.

[00:59:12]>> I don't like this.

[00:59:12]>> You're putting in 18 years, bare men.

[00:59:15]You got to put in 18 years of work, right?

[00:59:19]>> Are you going to get Are you going to get 18 years out of work out of them at the end of your life?

[00:59:24]>> And that's why >> or you going to get like five? That's why I I think we should not be parents because the way you go about it is [laughter] like yeah I think on Patreon I did say never I don't need to [laughter] never mind I'm going to stop myself. If you want to know what I said on Patreon >> join Patreon [laughter] the links down below. You also get bonus episodes as well. You actually you'll get access to 113 episodes and then you get to figure out which one Teresa is talking about.

[00:59:56]Whatever it is she's talking about what episode that happens. If you know the answer >> I talked about having kids.

[01:00:02]>> Drop it in the comments.

[01:00:03]>> I don't remember what episode.

[01:00:04]>> Long time ago.

[01:00:05]>> Few weeks ago.

[01:00:06]>> Okay. A few weeks ago. Yeah. Recently is.

[01:00:09]>> Yeah.

[01:00:09]>> Okay. There's another comment on this that says, "Sounds like this woman is dating your brother specifically >> specific >> specifically to have an quote instant family as opposed to actually loving him to build a life with him. That's not stable. All your brother can commit to in a relationship is himself. He can't promise anything on behalf of other people, bloodrelated or not.

[01:00:33]Relationships take time and effort to build." Reminds me of a thread on BOR updates where brother's wife insisted on calling father-in-law dad despite him and the rest of the brother's family saying they weren't comfortable with the woman acting like she'd been adopted into the family as a daughter/sister. It escalated for months before the brother finally called off their wedding because his ex was pulling mind games trying to get father-in-law's ex-wife invited to family events because ex-mother-in-law fed into the whole you're instant family now delusion the [ __ ] I do remember we read that one. That was a good one.

[01:01:07]>> You don't remember it, do you?

[01:01:08]>> No. [laughter] >> Okay. So, there is an update. Let's get into the update.

[01:01:14]I've received a lot of feedback from my original post and for that I am very grateful. I tried replying to as many as you as I can, but it's overwhelming and my DM is full. But I've read your comments and I really appreciate you spent some of your time to talk to me.

[01:01:27]I'll clarify some points that keep being mentioned. Then I will get into an update. Many of you pointed out that Natalie is looking for an instant family. I was not used to this term, but yeah, after reading your comments and looking for more information, I agree that this seems to be the case.

[01:01:44]Many of you asked about her family and her kids' father/grandparents.

[01:01:48]I don't know much about them. My brother told us something along the lines of she has a complicated relationship with her family and we did not insist for more details. We considered this to be her privacy and assumed that we will get more information when she is ready.

[01:02:02]There was a lot of confusion on why the children don't like each other.

[01:02:05]Natalie's 7-year-old son has no interest in the kids, not even for his sister, who is five. My baby is 10 months. So, except for his food, laughing, and being entertained, he has no interest at the moment. My three-year-old son doesn't like Natalie's daughter because, as I mentioned, she is rowdy and too much for him. She is not used to playing with little kids, and she broke one of his favorite toys and pushed him on two different occasions, making him land on his butt. This led to my son clinging to me, my husband, or my parents each time he is around her.

[01:02:39]The most overwhelming part of this post for me was receiving a lot of messages from people who told me how they were forced to play with kids they didn't like and how this affected them. I'm really sorry for all of your experiences, but I guarantee you I will not do the same to my kids. I would rather have people calling me names than force my kids to do something they are not comfortable with only to feed my ego and make myself seem as a nice person.

[01:03:02]In case I was not clear, I am a mother first. My main priority is to be an ally to my kids, not to be a saint or be seen as the most amazing woman alive.

[01:03:11]>> I respect that.

[01:03:12]>> Many of you accused me of not making time to bond with Natalie and her kids, even after her dating my brother for a year. To be clear, up until this point, I only met her kids four times. I think people missed some details in regards to timing. Natalie started dating my brother last year around February. Last year, I was pregnant. I gave birth and after that I had to raise a newborn baby and a toddler. So yeah, sorry to disappoint some of you for not abandoning my kids at home to go meet with my brother's latest girlfriend. I'm a very nasty person for raising my kids.

[01:03:45]dot dot dot. Some of you seem to be very social people who are able to form bonds with new people in a matter of hours upon meeting them. I am not like this.

[01:03:54]For me, it takes time to grow a relationship, get used to someone, and be able to be comfortable. So, in my books, the people who I've seen only four times in my entire life are still strangers.

[01:04:06]Lastly, I was accused of being a cruel person for not being willing to be Natalie's village. I'm sorry if she is in the position of needing a village instead of already having people willing to help her. But I have no obligation to be anyone's village. At this point in time, I am my family's village, meaning my husband, my kids, and my pets. I have enough excitement daily with my gremlins. My oldest, although a calm and cute kid, is a pain in the ass that needs to be supervised all the time. If I don't supervise him at all time, he will sneak and eat the cat's food or insert his fingers into the wire sockets.

[01:04:38]>> Oh my god.

[01:04:39]>> By the way, a genuine question for all parents who have three-year-old kids.

[01:04:42]Are all the kids so kamicazi or only mine is this level of menace? [snorts] So, yeah, I don't need two additional stranger kids into my home unsupervised by their parents. Sue me. Now, the update. After reading all your replies, I understood my brother is not being fair. He asked me to be understanding of Natalie's situation, but is he understanding mine? I don't think so.

[01:05:06]So, I sent him the following message.

[01:05:08]Quote, "Hey, brother. I had some time to think about the entire situation, and I want to share my thoughts with you.

[01:05:14]First all, I did something that might make you mad and you might not agree with, but please keep an open mind and read what I'm about to send you." I made a post on Reddit and asked about my situation with Natalie, and the replies were mostly pointing to the same direction. Maybe you'll want to see some unbiased feedback from hundreds of people who don't know us and are able to have a clear perspective.

[01:05:34]Now, I feel you are not fair towards me.

[01:05:36]I understand you have a relationship with Natalie and she is your life partner, but it seems very selfish of you to put the burden on me. I understand Natalie may have some issues with her family. She may desperately need to feel accepted and to have a big family for her and her children, but her struggles were not caused by me. You asked me to be understanding towards her, but were you understanding towards me? Did you defend your nephew when he was pushed twice by Natalie's daughter?

[01:06:01]Did you even explain to Natalie she is expecting too much from your sister who was dealing with a baby and a toddler?

[01:06:08]Did you defend your parents when Natalie commented about them? I am sorry it got to this point, but I will be honest. My main priority will always be my family.

[01:06:17]Not Natalie, not her kids. I'm not a therapist. I'm not emotional support animal. I am not her punching bag for times when things don't go her way. I love you. I am happy if you are happy, but I need some space from the toxicity she brings. You have known me since I was a baby. You know how I am. So, please set the record straight with her and explain that I will never be what she wants when she wants.

[01:06:41]After around an hour, he replied, quote, "Oh [ __ ] give me some time to read everything and gather my thoughts. I will come over to your place. Just give me some days, please. Love you." Now the bag is in his court. You are right.

[01:06:54]Natalie is his girlfriend, so his problem. Let's see how things turn out after he comes to talk, but I am keeping my expectations low.

[01:07:03]>> Damn, this is a strong willed woman. I respect her a lot. Yeah.

[01:07:10]>> I want to be like her when I grow up.

[01:07:12]>> Damn.

[01:07:14]Damn. Damn. Damn.

[01:07:18]All right, that's all we got. That wraps up this episode.

[01:07:23]>> Another one in the books.

[01:07:25]>> Another one in the books. 177 in the books. I do have some Q&A for you.

[01:07:28]>> Another one bites the dust.

[01:07:30]>> Another one bites the dust.

[01:07:33]I can't sing. I can never bring a tone.

[01:07:35]I can hear it in my head. I can never say it properly. It's >> some some people are so talented.

[01:07:39]>> You don't get like I feel like you don't hear melodies.

[01:07:43]>> Yeah. Uh, somebody comments and says, "I haven't tuned in for ages. I remember you having issues with the RV the last I watch and staying with Denver's sister.

[01:07:52]Did you guys get your own place?"

[01:07:54]>> We did indeed.

[01:07:56]Here we are in our own new place.

[01:07:59]>> New place if you're watching on a video.

[01:08:02]And we also have our RV back. And we took the RV to a trip to the Aderondax.

[01:08:06]So yeah, I mean, we sent the RV to get repaired, stay with my sister for two months, then we bought an investment property, a duplex, and then we got our RV back and then we used it and then we came back home and now we're back home >> and that's where we are.

[01:08:17]>> Yep. Next question.

[01:08:20]Denver, have you ever ridden Gopher Dunes? I grew up near there. Yes, I'm passing this on a few stories and hope you see it. Um, yes, I I have ridden Gopher Dunes twice in my life. Very hard sand track, very very tough sand track to ride dirt biking. And uh this is a very hard track to ride.

[01:08:39]>> Nice.

[01:08:39]>> Yeah, I don't love it. It's just hard to ride. It's just sand just takes so much effort out of you.

[01:08:44]>> Uh question for Denver. What kind of dirt bike do you have? Wow, so many dirt bike questions this episode. This is [laughter] crazy. Who's who's clipping these?

[01:08:51]>> I have a 2017 CRF450R.

[01:08:55]And if Teresa does a good job this Christmas, I will have a 2027 KX >> 450 SR Kawasaki 450 SR if Teresa wraps it up and puts under the tree for me.

[01:09:09][laughter] >> So >> you [ __ ] wish.

[01:09:12]>> Write that down in your notes section.

[01:09:13]The little Christmas presents ideas.

[01:09:16]>> Performance from Taylor Swift. Can you afford that?

[01:09:19]>> Didn't we discuss that presents don't need to be equal? Like the amount of money spent. It's not the amount of dollar value. It's about like, you know, how much someone would appreciate that gift.

[01:09:29]>> Okay.

[01:09:30]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Uh let's do the raffles. Uh so we have raffles from 169, 171, and 173.

[01:09:42]>> And then the one bit the dust bust. All right. Uh, episode 169, 73 comments and we have a winner who might not actually be a winner. Word of the day is supposition.

[01:09:57]>> That is correct.

[01:10:00]>> And what in the actual [ __ ] did I just listen to the cockroach story? People are crazy.

[01:10:05]>> Ah, the cockroach story. So many people said that there were updates for that.

[01:10:10]But when we read it, the profile got deleted.

[01:10:14]>> I did search and I found there was like three updates. It's like I told my co-workers, my co-workers made fun of me. I told my parents, my parents are asked me to see a therapist. I told my parents we're getting married. Yeah, it was disturbing. I'm very happy that you didn't have the updates.

[01:10:29]>> Okay, well that's good.

[01:10:30]>> And she says, "And glad I am normal, lol." And the diarrhea to the face story. Oh my god, that was my that was my story. So, you're welcome.

[01:10:39]>> You're welcome.

[01:10:41]>> Yep.

[01:10:41]>> Welcome for making you laugh.

[01:10:42]Congratulations.

[01:10:44]>> Congratulations. Let us know. Uh, let >> it snow. Let it >> Let us know if you wanted a black or white shirt. Can you shut the heck up over there?

[01:10:54]>> There were so many Christmas references today.

[01:10:57]>> Was there?

[01:10:57]>> Yeah.

[01:10:58]>> Yeah. I guess my story had it.

[01:10:59]>> My story had it, too.

[01:11:00]>> Jesus.

[01:11:01]>> The ambulance light up like a Christmas tree or a Christmas tree or something.

[01:11:05]>> [ __ ] >> Yeah.

[01:11:06]>> Trace is getting triggered.

[01:11:08]>> No.

[01:11:09]>> Like in a >> opposite. [laughter] >> Yeah. Like like like it's think it's still called triggered in a good way.

[01:11:15]triggered in a good way, I guess.

[01:11:16]>> Yeah. Like you're an undercover agent and you just got >> activated.

[01:11:22]>> Activate. I like activated. I'm getting activated. [laughter] >> Okay. Uh I didn't say who won the last one, did I?

[01:11:32]>> I don't think you said the username now.

[01:11:35]>> No, >> because I think this is the same person.

[01:11:39]>> Damn it. I need to verify this >> for the next episode.

[01:11:45]>> Yeah. So, the winner was a fabrizio and then I redid the raffle and it was the same winner. Word of the day is proclivity.

[01:11:56]Pick me for a kitten t-shirt. Also, congrats on the new job, Teresa. And shut the [ __ ] up at Denver.

[01:12:03]>> What' I do here?

[01:12:05]Uh, >> only caring about winning the mini golf game.

[01:12:11]>> I think it's like a joke. Like, haha, shut the [ __ ] up.

[01:12:13]>> Yeah, I think. Yeah. So, congrats. But you already just won, so we're going to actually we're going to we're going to do it again.

[01:12:19]>> We're not going to give her two.

[01:12:20]>> Is that fair?

[01:12:22]>> I don't know.

[01:12:24]>> No.

[01:12:24]>> What are the rules?

[01:12:25]>> No, it's not fair. Sorry.

[01:12:27]>> Maybe on another day.

[01:12:29]>> Okay. Uh, new winner. P E R S A U N A.

[01:12:34]Persona, I think the young man who said his mother's half blind him for being drunk needs therapy. Anger management.

[01:12:40]Obviously, family trice wants me to skim this.

[01:12:45]Uh, Jack and Luna Hart.

[01:12:48]No word of the day. But maybe you didn't do a word of the No, it's procl. I'm so sorry.

[01:12:53]>> Not winner. Oh, that's >> so sorry.

[01:12:57]>> Gotta do the WOTD. You know, word of the day. Uh, Sandy A.

[01:13:02]Ericton. Erikston. Word of the day.

[01:13:06]Proclivity. I would like a Jack Muna t-shirt.

[01:13:08]>> Congratulations. You got one.

[01:13:09]>> Congratulations. We got a winner. All right. And the last one, uh, we're doing 173 now. 173. Okay. This person didn't win, but it's kind of interesting. It's from anime video man one. It said, "Absolutely despise when you started with the little diddy at the beginning of each episode. It felt a little off-brand. It was so bland. But now when I see your thumbnails, I start humming it and can't wait to start the video and hear it. Congratulations. You've officially Pavlo B.

[01:13:38]>> I will say we did start listening to us >> the the true crime junkies are just crime junkies. Crime junkies.

[01:13:45]>> So they do their intro and then they're like, "All right, let's get into it."

[01:13:48]And then they have like a 30se secondond >> [ __ ] bop. Yeah.

[01:13:52]>> [ __ ] banger of a bop. And I find myself I was dancing in the truck. I was like, "What a freaking bop this is."

[01:13:58]Yeah.

[01:13:58]>> Yeah, that one was good. I wish we could just take their freaking soundtrack cuz it was damn good. I I'm Ours has grown on us. I really like mine.

[01:14:06]>> Oh, ours definitely grew on me.

[01:14:08]>> Our guy did a good job. Yeah.

[01:14:09]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[01:14:11]>> Oh, I love it now. I will say at the beginning I was like, it's okay. But now I love it.

[01:14:17]>> Good. Good. I love it. Okay, here we go.

[01:14:20]We have a winner. Laura Croft A38 Endemic. Absolutely perfection in its usage. Smash the patriarchy and pass the t-shirt. Love you. Bye.

[01:14:29]>> Let's go.

[01:14:29]>> Let's go.

[01:14:30]>> Congratulations, Laura.

[01:14:31]>> There's our three winners.

[01:14:32]>> Thank you for the compliment.

[01:14:33]>> There's our three winners. All right.

[01:14:36]Uh, thank you guys so much. We appreciate all of your support. Don't forget to smash a like button. Share with your uncles.

[01:14:44]Share with your uncles. Smash the like button. Subscribe and join our Patreon and buy a Jack and Luna t-shirt. The link's down below. And if you have any crazy voicemail stories for us, links down below. Yeah, that's all I got.

[01:14:55]Thanks for being here. Bye.