The Trick With Open Marriages | Quit Playin' With Jazmyn and Amber

[00:00:02]Now, before we get into today's incredible episode of Quit Playing with Jasmine and Amber, please make sure you have subscribed on Apple, on YouTube, on Spotify, and if you really want that bonus, that extra credit. Make sure you leave us a review. We can see that digital footprint. Give us those reviews now. Give us all the stars. How many ever stars you see on there? I think there's usually five. That's how many you need to be clicking, okay? And make sure you tell us, email us and tell us who played with you and you might be featured on a future episode. So, was it your coworker, your boss, your baby daddy, your friends with benefits? You can email us at [email protected].

[00:00:41]We want to hear it. Now, let's get into the episode. Jazz, cut the cameras.

[00:00:45]>> Dead ass.

[00:00:48]>> We're here doing the podcast today and look at my gorgeous co-host. Oh, it's all and look at Corey back there.

[00:00:58]>> And this is Kane O'Keefe, our audio and video engineer.

[00:01:02]>> Be clacking like that thing.

[00:01:05]>> Keep that thing on me.

[00:01:09]>> Whenever you're ready. You're good.

[00:01:11]Okay. Three, two, one.

[00:01:13]>> Hey y'all. Welcome to Quit Plan with Jasmine and Amber.

[00:01:17]>> We're comedians and mothers. And I'm nosy. And I have a date tonight.

[00:01:23][laughter] >> What y'all doing? Where y'all going?

[00:01:28]>> I don't know yet. I don't know yet.

[00:01:31]>> This the first date?

[00:01:32]>> This is our second date.

[00:01:33]>> Oh, second date.

[00:01:34]>> Second date.

[00:01:35]>> Okay. Yes. This is the one where uh I I just was being cute. I we met on a Sunday and then on a Friday we were texting throughout the week and I text him. I said, "What are we doing this weekend?" And I put it on threads and the girls were like, "Never pursue a man." He never gonna hit you back. He going he he's going to say, "Oh, I don't know what you doing. What you want to do?" He actually said, "When are you free?" I had a busy weekend. I said, "After my pod on Sunday," and he chose a place. We had cocktails and uh we made out two animals afterwards >> at the restaurant.

[00:02:10]>> Uh no, we kissed at the we kissed at the cocktail bar. We made out in the car.

[00:02:15]>> Yum. We love a hot steamy makeup. The kisses, the lips were just >> He's a good kisser.

[00:02:21]>> Yes, >> cuz it takes somebody a minute to get to know your lips, your face, your like how you want like you too aggressive, you too soft with it. It was a good balance.

[00:02:29]>> Loved it. And he has he has long locks.

[00:02:31]And I've never dated somebody with locks that long. And I was like, "Oh my god, I think I want them in my face."

[00:02:37][laughter] >> Gosh, [laughter] I'm excited. Were they smelling good?

[00:02:44]>> Yeah, smell good. Perfect teeth.

[00:02:46]master's degree.

[00:02:48][laughter] >> An educated ma master's degree.

[00:02:53]>> Just like I like it.

[00:02:55]>> Education.

[00:02:57]>> I hope this goes so well.

[00:02:58]>> I know. I think it'll be fun.

[00:02:59]>> We love a little a little sexy date night. I'm actually I don't want to say what I had planned for Ben. Before we get too deep into the pot, y'all, we want to shout out um some of our YouTube members. Oh my gosh. Thank y'all so much for all all of your support and for listening. So, shout out to Aaron Mobly 9229, Aerial 14, Hawa Vafoi-Mt7 CQ. Yeah. And the last one, Lulemon Monster. Shout out to y'all for listening to the podcast. Thank you so much. [laughter] >> Come on. Membership.

[00:03:38]>> Okay. This is not going to come out until after Father's Day.

[00:03:41]>> Yes. So hopefully we don't fight before Father's Day, but I have because I have So, you know, it could go either way.

[00:03:47]What say? But I do have a nice plan. We We've been talking about going to this cute little uh getaway spot. There is a part of California. It's called like Soulang, California. It's like a little I don't know, Dutch town, German town situation. Um but it's super cute. Maybe we'll drop some pictures here. And so it's kind of, you know, you know, you always have a fake little like it's going to feel like we're going to another country, but it's just two hours away. And so I I booked the sitter.

[00:04:13]She's going to stay. So I'm going to maybe have him like open a gift, but it's basically like pack your bags cuz we're leaving. Yes. It's going to be overnight. We're going to keep the phones in the room. It's just like a uh like we have not been overnight together away from our kids in probably over a year. Like >> Yeah.

[00:04:30]>> Cuz you know, I'm always on the road or then he's with the kids. So >> it's gonna be nice. That's going to be so fun.

[00:04:36]>> And do you know today my mother-in-law told me, she said, um, she's like, "I have not seen these babies in so long.

[00:04:43]Like, I'm going to come out there for a month." And I was like, >> I legit almost cried.

[00:04:47]>> Yes.

[00:04:47]>> Like, when your parents come stay with you for a month.

[00:04:50]>> Yeah.

[00:04:50]>> She was like, "Well, I just didn't want to overstay my welcome." I was like, "Girl, what?

[00:04:53]>> Come.

[00:04:54]>> I have two children.

[00:04:56]>> In 2026, stay as long as you want. You can move in."

[00:05:00]>> I'm so excited. My mother-in-law is coming. Like, she's like, "Are you sure?" I was like, I'm I'm booking your flight >> right now.

[00:05:06]>> So, that'll be nice cuz then we can kind of like do some more date nights.

[00:05:09]>> Yeah.

[00:05:10]>> We be having date night at the house at this point.

[00:05:13]>> When the kids go to sleep.

[00:05:14]>> When the kids go to sleep and and Big Ziggy, he been waking up around 3:00 a.m. want a little snack. I'm like, >> it's kill you. Yes.

[00:05:20]>> Oh, he's getting hungrier.

[00:05:22]>> Yes. And rubbing his belly like a little bear or something.

[00:05:24]>> Oh my god.

[00:05:25]>> He legit woke up in the middle last night like [laughter] y'all hear that. Like, >> y'all hear that?

[00:05:33]Neianderthal. [screaming] So, I'm very excited. Tons of sex coming this summer.

[00:05:37]>> Oh, I know. That's right. Don't get pregnant.

[00:05:40]>> I cannot. The basectomy [laughter] is scheduled. By the time you're by the time you're watching this, the basectomy should have happened. We're very excited.

[00:05:46]>> Good. We're praying for a fast recovery on that one. [laughter] >> Outpatient, ain't it? He should be walking by end of day.

[00:05:54]>> I'm very excited. Cut it off. Well, you know, me and my baby daddy, the way our um arrangement works, I love I love to talk about this because >> he has our kid every first, third, and fifth weekend. Y >> and so that sometimes during months that you know have five weekends, he'll have our kid the last weekend and then also the first weekend again. So, backtoback weekends, but it always falls to where I have our kid on Mother's Day and he has our kid on Father's Day.

[00:06:21]>> Oh, wonderful.

[00:06:22]>> Yeah. So hopefully on Father's Day I'll be uh with somebody else's daddy [laughter] >> because that's my weekend off like Amber would say.

[00:06:31]>> Hey daddy.

[00:06:32]>> Hey. Hey daddy. Hey. Hey. And all my ladies say okay. Or maybe he won't have kids I guess cuz he'll have Father's Day to himself. I don't know.

[00:06:40]>> WE DON'T CARE ABOUT IT. WE DON'T [laughter] CARE ABOUT IT. LOOK. LOOK.

[00:06:45]>> So >> he he better deliver. [laughter] >> I know. That's right.

[00:06:48]>> You gonna be my daddy for the day.

[00:06:50]Father for real.

[00:06:51]>> [laughter] >> Spank me.

[00:06:53]>> Let's get into it there. Pop culture. We have a lot of horny listeners. Comment in the chat. When's the last time you got something? Put that in the chat in the comment section. We want to hear that. And if it's been over a month, you need to be writing in to quit playing [email protected] [laughter] cuz we're going to send somebody your way.

[00:07:10]>> Yeah, it's summer time, baby. Come on now. Yeah, >> that's where you supposed to be busting it open.

[00:07:15]>> Wide open.

[00:07:16]>> Wide open. [laughter] I don't want it.

[00:07:18]We married. We can I She left my bed earlier today.

[00:07:21]>> So yeah, figure it [laughter] out.

[00:07:23]>> If she can fit it in, so can you.

[00:07:27]>> Schedule's packed. No excuses. Get you some. Life is too short, right?

[00:07:31]>> Remember when we talking about the ghost in the afterlife? You want to be bent over in the afterlife? Like Yes.

[00:07:36]>> Have y'all heard of clitoral atrophy?

[00:07:38]You got to use it while you got it. You don't know what that is.

[00:07:41]>> No, I've heard of a clitoris.

[00:07:43]>> Yeah.

[00:07:44]>> So >> half of it atrophy.

[00:07:46]>> Yeah. It's basically um over time and during sometimes premenopause, but also menopause um our clitoris shrinks.

[00:07:55]>> So basically, yeah, it's a thing.

[00:07:57]>> It's already so tiny. [laughter] >> It's already but so big.

[00:08:02]>> I know.

[00:08:03]>> What do you mean it gets smaller?

[00:08:05]>> Yeah, it basically shrinks. It's like uh uh something that happens to a lot of people with clitoris. Okay. um during menopause where basically your clitoris is like your body's >> it's signaling to your body, oh I don't I don't you don't really need me anymore.

[00:08:19]>> Um so your clitoris literally shrinks and gets smaller. So in order to prevent that from happening, you have to use it.

[00:08:26]You have to stimulate it.

[00:08:28]>> Doctor's orders. [laughter] >> Dr. Jasmine.

[00:08:30]>> I did not know that.

[00:08:32]>> Yeah, that's horrible.

[00:08:33]>> I know.

[00:08:34]>> Haven't we been through enough?

[00:08:35]>> I know. And now you're going to lose your lose your clitoris and lose your sex drive if you don't if you don't use it. Time's a ticket, folks. Time's a ticket. Let's get into this. Look.

[00:08:46]>> All right. What do we have for pop culture? Speaking of relationships, >> Yeah. Yeah. We got to talk cuz, you know, it's 2026, so we got a lot of open relationships out here. Yeah.

[00:08:55]>> But we recently found this guy on TikTok who was sharing how basically the open relationship ended his relationship and ended the marriage. I love thinking about the the buildup of this relationship. So, first things first, this was a married couple and they had pre-marital therapy before >> Yeah.

[00:09:12]>> going on to get married. Did you have therapy before you got married?

[00:09:14]>> I sure did. Don't mean nothing.

[00:09:17]>> Okay. [laughter] Okay. So, what >> Yeah.

[00:09:23]>> How did Did y'all have couples therapy later as well too?

[00:09:26]>> Yeah. Toward like Yeah. towards the end.

[00:09:28]>> How was he in therapy? Was he honest?

[00:09:29]Because that's a big part of therapy as you know. Well, you know, during the pre-marital co therapy and the, you know, end of the relationship, couples therapy is a lot different. So, in the premarital therapy, I think my partner at the time was just very quiet and kind of like, you know, I'm here just because I just want to make sure we kind of, >> you know, flush out all of our, you know, concerns or worries or, you know, communication things before we get married. So, I felt like it went fine. I felt like he didn't really open up in therapy as much as like looking back.

[00:09:58]like I wish you would have opened up a little bit more, but I understand therapy is hard, especially for guys, talking about their feelings. Yeah.

[00:10:04]>> Um I think towards the end of the relationship, I to be quite honest with you, my ex spent a lot of time talking in therapy to the point where he if if not stopped, he would talk for the entire time.

[00:10:16]>> Wow.

[00:10:17]>> And I'd be like, "When are you going to shut up so I can say what's what's wrong with you?"

[00:10:21]>> Wow. So he would be complaining about you, but the entire time.

[00:10:25]>> Not even necessarily. It would just be kind of like, "Well, this is the thing."

[00:10:28]and like this is how I'm feeling and like this is what we're and you know I you work and I'm I'm successful and I and I it would be like >> monopolizing the whole conversation.

[00:10:40]So >> interesting.

[00:10:41]>> But I think that >> you know I was in my 20s before we got married. I'm in my 30s afterwards and and I'm noticing even that made me put things into perspective like oh my god like you're monopolizing the entire time like >> this is all about you >> and I'm not even getting a word in. So it kind of like really solidified things for me >> um as far as me not feeling seen [clears throat] and heard and feeling you know not really treated the way I thought I should be treated in a marriage. So I think that out in any regard therapy really helped >> put things into perspective. I love therapy. I tell people all the time, Ben and I are in couples therapy. We did premarital therapy, which was so helpful. I'm I'm going to talk a little bit about that in a second. Then we did um >> couples therapy after our first child and coup's therapy after our second child.

[00:11:29]>> Okay.

[00:11:30]>> Yes. Um because when we moved from Chicago to LA, we kind of were like, we need power. I I can't even we we need water and heat. I can't even think about [laughter] the sessions right now. But when that second child came, I was like, I don't even know who you are. Like I >> Wow. Not like that, but you're just like, I haven't asked you how you're doing in six weeks. Like, I we are in survival mode and we got to get back to us.

[00:11:51]>> But premarital therapy >> was so interesting because Ben and I were in a really good place. We kind of just had stars in our eyes. We're like, "Oh my god, this is my person. This is this I'm his person. Like, we're just going we we just here so we don't get fined. Like, we don't [laughter] have any issues." Like, like, please. And it was so great because one of the things that our premarital therapist told us to do was >> she's like, "Okay, well, things sound good. What I want you two to do is I'm going to give you both a family tree, >> okay? And I want he she's like, "I don't you know, it didn't sound like this, but she's basically like, I want y'all to fill out this trauma tree, okay? Because you know, you're happy now and you're happy now, but when you when you marry somebody, you're marrying their family as well."

[00:12:34]>> So, she's like, "I want y'all to go home." and every uh alcoholic in the family, gambling addiction, if there's any family history of sexual trauma, I want you to see what what two families y'all are bringing together, good or bad, cuz cuz it's like y'all are happy, but if your grandpa's an alcoholic and your grandma's an alcoholic, y'all might have a child who's an alcoholic. Like, you don't know what you're bringing into this family. And that was a really great exercise because that was the first time I was asking my family some questions about things that we always just like swept under the rug. Yeah. You know, so >> I remember just having those conversations with my They were very open, my family, but I was like, I've never even talked to my mom about some of this stuff. Yeah. Um, so that was really nice because Ben and I were like, "Oh my gosh, we like hear the histories of whatever in our family." So, we got to make sure we >> are aware of that around each other's family because it's not just like, "Oh, I met a family member and then let's go." You know what I mean? But just getting to know like, oh, >> all of this happened over here and all of this happened over here with me. So, we we need to start thinking about the the two tribes coming together as one, not just like you and me are locked in.

[00:13:41]>> Yes. I really love that. Yeah.

[00:13:44]>> You know, one thing I will say that based on my experience around a lot of like West African families, I feel like if we had done that openly, it probably would have it would have been good. But I kind of feel like, and don't come for me, West African folks, because I was married to a West African person, I feel like I don't know if he would have been honest because I feel like in sometimes in like u West African culture, it's like all about making sure that your family is seen in a really good light.

[00:14:12]>> You know, as a as a black American, I'm kind of like, yeah, my uncles on drugs, my grandfather was alcoholic. Like my, you know, I've argued with my dad about, you know, having too many beers and stuff like this. And but when you are so busy trying to make sure that your family looks good, >> right?

[00:14:29]>> That kind of stuff, you just aren't truthful about those things, you know, >> you're not and you don't know what you're signing up for because let's say this is not the scenario, but I've had something similar to this in my family.

[00:14:39]Let's say, for example, my brother is an alcoholic >> and me and Ben are doing good. We're locked in. We don't have no kids.

[00:14:46]>> Yeah.

[00:14:46]>> Well, what if my brother something happens with him and he loses custody of his kids?

[00:14:51]>> Yeah.

[00:14:51]>> We would be a Can y'all take them?

[00:14:53]>> Yeah.

[00:14:54]>> Family. situation.

[00:15:02]>> Now we got two kids.

[00:15:03]>> Yes.

[00:15:04]>> So it's very easy for people to think about the you and me. But if somebody's house burns down or if the family will d you you might be asked to >> help send somebody to rehab and you're you're like well this is just us. But but that's not how it works. It's like >> that's not how it works. many things or when your child starts asking you questions about a certain family members, you need to be able to, you know, as best you can tell them because I it helps no one to not tell people about like big issues with the family.

[00:15:35]Even just your medical history. If my grandma got diabetes and your daddy got diabetes and every auntie got diabetes, like, "Oh, our child might be pre-diabet." You just never know.

[00:15:45]>> Yeah.

[00:15:46]>> So, I mean, it shouldn't talk.

[00:15:47]>> It shouldn't take the breakup for me to find out your daddy ain't [sighs] >> or you don't have a relationship with [laughter] many people. Well, we walk in the room and everybody icing you out.

[00:15:57]It's like, >> yeah.

[00:15:58]>> Okay. So, let's unpack that because I'm cuz how you are around your family is also telling me maybe your family dynamic is different from mine or maybe you did something like what am I missing some stolen money here in the room like >> killing cats as a kid. Let us know.

[00:16:13]>> You know, a man love to be like, "Well, you never asked about that." Well, how was I supposed to know that you stole some money? [laughter] I was supposed to know that to ask that. So, I loved like I would highly recommend even even if you're in a long-term partnership.

[00:16:26]>> Oh, yeah. And and you you've uh had one of those like packs of questions or something. Was that you who told me about that?

[00:16:33]>> There's some like really good dating questions that you should always ask, but I think there needs to be another like tell me about your family history pack.

[00:16:39]>> For sure. Definitely about that ain't even what this couple had to they had premarital therapy.

[00:16:44]>> Well, I'm about to ask you about something that relates to this because the reason >> you know we go as we want. This guy was in an open marriage and they ultimately ended up getting divorced because his husband slept with the one person >> he told him not to sleep with. I think my views on open marriage has changed now that I'm divorced. But what do you think about open marriage in general?

[00:17:10]>> Okay, this is a horrible uh comparison, but I think this works.

[00:17:14]>> Okay.

[00:17:14]>> Okay. Tangentially related. So, do you know how right now everybody is uh trying to do streamer university?

[00:17:21]Streamer University for Kasanat. It's it's some program. If you don't know, Kasanat is like this huge streamer and he basically has a a little incubator that helps train the next generation of good streamers as well. But tons of people apply to it. I'm talking people who ain't even streaming, don't have a following, don't they're not hustling.

[00:17:39]Now, some some people who do have that would benefit from the program, but if you're not a hustler already and doing all the things correctly, there's no way for you to succeed with this, right? Am I crazy by saying that?

[00:17:50]>> No, you're not.

[00:17:51]>> So, I think the same logic should be applied to open marriage, right?

[00:17:58]>> Tell me.

[00:17:58]>> So, it's like this is not something that you should do to fix the relationship.

[00:18:03]If we're already struggling to communicate and we're already struggling with trust and we're already struggling with honesty, opening the marriage is not the going to help the situation.

[00:18:14]Like I like I'm trying to basically say like if you already have good communication skills and that stuff is working, I think an open marriage could work.

[00:18:20]>> Yeah.

[00:18:21]>> But we all know the couple that you're like y'all are already fighting all the time. Is it open is not the solution to this problem. Openness is not what is going to build trust for sure. What do you think about trying to close the marriage up after it's been open? Do you think that works?

[00:18:36]>> I think it can work. I think it needs to be like I I think it needs to be both people mutually saying and agreeing to it, not being like, you pissed me off. Now we're closed. Like that that's not going to work cuz then it's like, well, I'm just going to sneak and do it. Yeah.

[00:18:52]>> I I don't think that's right.

[00:18:54]>> Yeah. But I definitely think I think I think each individual person is well within their right to say like I thought I was okay with this. I learned I am not okay with this because we made some very clear boundaries and those boundaries have been crossed.

[00:19:08]>> Yes.

[00:19:09]>> So this does not work for us.

[00:19:11]>> Yes.

[00:19:12]>> But I think it would be strange if we open the relationship all boundaries are being followed and then you're like no no more. I'm like okay well what's let's unpack that. What's what's happening?

[00:19:20]>> Yeah.

[00:19:21]>> Both parties should consent. Like it's not it it just would be weird if if we made a rule to do something and everything all communication was being followed. But that's typically not what happens. It's like you broke the rule.

[00:19:31]Let's close this mother.

[00:19:32]>> Yeah. Typically you broke the rules.

[00:19:35]Well, I saw a video yesterday. They said, this person was retelling the story that I think the comedian Haha Davis was on Shannon Sharp's show and he's getting backlash because he said that him and his wife were um swinging or you know they're they had an open sort of situation and they were in um they were in an encounter intimacy encounter with another couple and he looks over and his wife was basically getting the Mario coins knocked out of her and he stopped the entire scenario and then came home. [laughter] I'm sorry. I love that you described it like >> I'm trying to keep it safe for you too.

[00:20:14]And so then he came home and a few days later was so upset about it that he actually put hands on her.

[00:20:21]>> Whoa.

[00:20:22]>> And went to jail.

[00:20:23]>> He admitted this on the podcast.

[00:20:24]>> He admitted this and the guy retelling the story was like, "You didn't have to tell us any of this. Like why are you telling us this?" And yeah, him and his wife ended up staying together, but >> they're still together. they're they're together. But he was upset because watching his wife, you know, sleep with somebody who I guess he was intimidated by, you know, how good of a performer the other person was >> and then he stewed on it for a few days and then ended up abusing his wife or whatever. That's crazy. I'm like, >> uh, those kind of things make me not want >> Yeah. No.

[00:20:58]>> To have an open relationship. But, um, that's crazy. But now that I'm now that I'm divorced, I think I could totally handle like um a semi sort of open situation. But it I would have to have a lot of rules like vacation only.

[00:21:10]>> Yeah.

[00:21:10]>> You know, no 30 mile radius. I don't want to >> don't have no babies. Don't be embarrassing. Nobody like babies. Yeah.

[00:21:16]>> I think or again there's varying levels, right? Like obviously me and Ben go to parties. So it's like >> and go to parties is loose. like ever ever since kid 2, it's like [laughter] like we just over there trying to wash dishes like but I there there do need to be rules around it like >> you know if we're on a date there is no texting anybody or certain hours or >> you you have to make stipulations around it cuz you have to make stipulations around everything else in your marriage.

[00:21:45]Like >> I also think that once if we're open and we get to a point where I'm like we need to close this off, we just need to break up. We're done.

[00:21:54]>> Yeah. Because I'm not going to go from open to closed with you and then I'm sweating underneath my armpits every time you leave the house cuz you're about to break our agreement. No, we're done.

[00:22:03]>> Yes, I agree.

[00:22:03]>> We're done. So, >> I I I fully agree with that. Yeah. I Because it is his insecurity that led to the closure. Yeah.

[00:22:11]>> Or him wanting to close it.

[00:22:13]>> Exactly.

[00:22:13]>> Which y'all should be done because of that.

[00:22:15]>> Yeah. Y'all should be done.

[00:22:16]>> And I just >> And it was his idea. I bet you >> Of course it was. There's something so it's so interesting to me because I I know a lot of people have mixed feelings about the open relationship, but one when one person is really gung-ho about it and one person's like, "I'll try it."

[00:22:33]That should tell you all you need to know, like, don't. Yeah.

[00:22:36]>> Or when a guy is just like, "Well, yeah, I want to, you know, sleep with other girls." But then the minute I'm like, "Okay, well, let me get mine." And then they're acting away, it's like, >> "Yeah." What about the Mo'Nique uh marriage where Mo'Nique was like, "My husband, he sleeps with other people. I choose not to. I don't.

[00:22:52]>> I [laughter] mean, it works for her. I mean, maybe she >> Cory laugh.

[00:22:57]>> I would never agree to that. What What you think about that, Corey?

[00:23:02]>> Stand up.

[00:23:03]>> Stand up.

[00:23:03]>> Right. Girl, watch your face. Get up.

[00:23:05]Yeah.

[00:23:06]>> But see, that right there is the I don't want to do this, but you can go cuz I'll do anything to keep you.

[00:23:11]>> Yeah.

[00:23:11]>> That's sad, >> right?

[00:23:13]>> Ain't that sad? That is sad. That's sad.

[00:23:16]Cuz if you can't go to Bella no change, >> where the hell can you go?

[00:23:18]>> Where the hell can you go? That's crazy.

[00:23:20]>> No, I think it only works if both parties agree. Yeah.

[00:23:23]>> And are both parties are equally excited about n monogamy and you define what it is. It's like I don't want you out here with no whole girlfriend, but like if if you just have a a night out like go pop off, king. Like >> it it just depend. You got to talk about every scenario.

[00:23:39]>> Yeah.

[00:23:40]>> I think and there are books too. Read the books. There are books. There are book because maybe you're cool with it, but then one day you're kind of like, "Well, I didn't tell you to Uber the [ __ ] around town." Like like like you're like, "No, y'all sleeping together. I don't mind. Why is why is money coming out of the home?" Like is there's different scenarios that you should just like talk through? It's like the trauma trees. You need to talk through every scenario. So when this person comes over, do they stay over at our house or is there always going to be a rule of it's always outside? Is there a rule of you need to come home? Is there a rule of if you're going to do it, just stay the night over there?

[00:24:13]Like, you need to talk through every side quest.

[00:24:16]>> Yeah.

[00:24:17]>> Because I mean, obviously, this guy's marriage fell apart. But again, in the retelling of the story, he was giving us a whole bunch of red flags about just them two getting married. Yeah.

[00:24:26]>> That's why you're like, "Well, this is definitely not going to work. Y'all's regular regular marriage don't work. Why would your open marriage make anything easier?"

[00:24:32]>> Yeah. I mean, looking back, I definitely had a few red flags before I got married. But, I don't know. I see a lot of people sometimes blame themselves like, "Oh my god, red flags. I should have known. I should have known." Um, and he also said he was young and so was I. But I think that honestly I forgive myself for the red flags. I don't care.

[00:24:51]I stand by every decision I made because at the end of the day, there's nothing wrong with just wanting to see the best in somebody. Of course, >> just wanting to love somebody unconditionally and feeling like they love you and just being like, "Oh, I just want to see the best in you. Like I I really love you and I know that you're a great amazing person and I just want to see the best." you know, and so I will I always tell people that like don't feel bad, don't feel stupid um for wanting to see that in somebody.

[00:25:16]I mean, I think that's a really good quality. So, >> what's something that you would have said to younger Jasmine, even if it's not about like your ex-husband's actions? Yeah. But what's one thing if you could go back you would say to yourself, but like listen to this voice girl or what would you say? just like, >> you know what I think the one thing I would say is I would re I would tell my younger self that I'm smarter than I thought I was >> because I really thought that that my ex-husband was smarter than me. I just thought like, oh wow, my god, he's super talented, super smart. Like I always I'm always learning something from him and I thought that I was smart, but I just thought that he was smarter than me. And I'll never forget when I had a boss. I used to work for this uh white lady. She was the SVP of HR and I was her assistant. And she looked at me one day and she, you know, when she found out I was engaged, I I was engaged while working with her. She gave me a lot of advice and one thing she was like, "Jasmine, you're going to be an entrepreneur." I was like, "Me? I work for you right now. I'm your assistant."

[00:26:14]And she was like, "No, I see it for you." You know, and I was just kind of like, "Okay." Like, I don't I think I'm smart. I don't know if I'll ever work for myself. That's crazy. And now I work for myself and I see that I'm smarter than my baby daddy. [laughter] So, I I just think I just wish I would have had that sort of confidence as like in my 20s like, "Girl, you smart. You're so smart. You're a bad [ __ ] Like, you're intelligent." Y, >> you know? Um, but it's just one of those things like I never made super good grades. I made B's >> and I was just kind of like, yeah, I'm kind of like average like when it comes to intelligence, but now I'm like, oh wait, hold on.

[00:26:50]>> Yeah, >> you a bad [ __ ] I mean, even when you do make good grades or high achievements, there's something still that inside of us as younger, you know, young women coming up where you're like, >> "Yeah, but I don't know any better, so let me just like, well, I don't want to come off as rude or I don't like my boss said this thing, but let me not address it." And you're like, "No, no, no. I am more than capable."

[00:27:12]>> Like, and that's >> yeah, that that it's like we all have that voice, but some we come to a crossroad where you're like, >> "I know what I saw. I know what I read.

[00:27:22]>> Yeah.

[00:27:22]>> You not gonna play me on this. Yeah.

[00:27:24]Like >> like I would rather be wrong and go out swinging than try to like minimize myself >> for sure. What's one thing you would tell yourself, your younger self, 20 21-year-old self?

[00:27:36]>> I have this thing about me sometimes. I don't do it anymore.

[00:27:40]>> But I would always try to go through the back door to do the thing I really wanted to do. M >> for example, um I always knew I wanted to be on camera as a little girl and I knew I wanted to be an actor comedian.

[00:27:58]>> But what I would do is well the only way I'll be on camera is if I maybe pursue a journalism degree. Yeah.

[00:28:04]>> And be on the news and then like because there's no way I could actually be an actor on TV, >> right? So, I'll find myself being like, "Well, I'm not going to be on stage, but maybe I could apply to be the stage manager." Well, I'm not going to be on stage. Well, maybe I'll apply to do the, "Well, I'm not going to do my own comedy tour, so maybe I'll just ask all these people, can I open for them?"

[00:28:23]>> Like, I'll always try to sort of, well, I used to >> Yes.

[00:28:26]>> just be like, "Okay, well, here's what I want to do. How can I get some proximity to that to that thing?" Instead of just being like, "No, I want to go to acting school."

[00:28:34]>> Yeah. Um, so like I wish I had a acting degree or I wish I like told myself no just believe in plan A.

[00:28:42]>> Yeah.

[00:28:43]>> But I'll be like, uh, maybe I'll try plan D to get to plan A.

[00:28:46]>> What do you have a degree in?

[00:28:47]>> Journalism.

[00:28:48]>> I have a degree in broadcast communications.

[00:28:51]>> See, >> it's the same.

[00:28:53]>> Yeah. But at the time, I don't know.

[00:28:54]Mentally, I was just like, why I can't just pursue theater?

[00:28:57]>> Yeah.

[00:28:58]But it's so funny because even all the skills that I needed to do journalism like editing videos and stuff like that, it worked out.

[00:29:07]>> Yeah, that's what I say.

[00:29:08]>> It definitely [screaming] worked out.

[00:29:10][laughter] But from now on, I'm getting so much more comfortable naming.

[00:29:15]>> Yeah, >> I want to do that thing.

[00:29:17]>> Yes.

[00:29:17]>> How do I get to that thing >> for sure?

[00:29:19]>> Like I want I want to do an arena one day. Mhm.

[00:29:23]>> So instead of just being like, "Okay, well maybe if I ask see who Wanda Sykes's team represents [laughter] and then if maybe if I run into them at a party, then maybe I could ask her could I open for her for just this one show, just this one time." Yeah.

[00:29:38]>> Instead of trying to do all that, I'm like, how can I just like one day >> keep building until I do my own arena?

[00:29:44]Like I'm just now getting comfortable with like, oh, I could just do it.

[00:29:47]>> Yeah.

[00:29:48]>> Instead of the back way.

[00:29:49]>> I love it.

[00:29:50]>> Which is crazy. I don't know why we do that, but me either. Even on this podcast, I was like, I've never done the hour. At this point, I've done like the hour 30 times, but I was just like, I don't know, Jazz.

[00:30:01]I don't think I can do it. And you're like, >> you can do it.

[00:30:04]>> Your your show is booked. [laughter] >> It's happening on the 18th.

[00:30:09]>> And then you do it once, you're like, "Oh, I belong up here. This is kind of crazy that I like almost >> There is a universe where I didn't do this."

[00:30:17]>> Yes.

[00:30:17]>> There's a universe where I didn't >> quit my teaching job. There's a universe where I didn't get >> it almost took a global pandemic to be like you don't work here anymore. Go do what you actually want to do.

[00:30:28]>> Oh, I feel you.

[00:30:29]>> I feel like that all the time. I'm like, if there wasn't a global pandemic, >> I I would like the world forced me. I was laid off from the other jobs. The world forced me >> Yeah.

[00:30:38]>> to be an entrepreneur.

[00:30:39]>> Yeah. Wow. Well, I mean, I quit my job the August before the pandemic.

[00:30:46]>> See, >> so I was like, >> you did that all your own. I had to get laid off for for me to be like, maybe I should believe in me.

[00:30:52]>> No, but I was like, I'm a real comedian.

[00:30:54]I do stand up. I don't do little skits online.

[00:30:57]>> And then the pandemic, I was like, I guess I do little skits online.

[00:31:00]>> Just big [laughter] having big fun doing. Yeah.

[00:31:03]>> So, the world forced me to.

[00:31:05]>> Yeah.

[00:31:06]>> Well, um, jokes that don't work, Corey.

[00:31:08]Okay.

[00:31:10]>> Every episode we have a segment called jokes that don't work, where we workshop new material to see if it has legs. You want me to go first or you want to go first?

[00:31:19]>> I would love for you to go first cuz [laughter] it's already making me laugh.

[00:31:22]I be trying not to laugh over you telling the joke.

[00:31:25]>> No, I think your >> number one fan. [laughter] >> I love you, Amber. Okay, so I was talking to some comics and they were talking about uh roommates and how they hear their roommates having sex and they were like, "Oh, I can't stand it. Like they're going at it again." And I'm like, "I wish I had a roommate.

[00:31:42][laughter] I wish I had a roommate. I want to hear somebody have sex so bad.

[00:31:47]I would be me.

[00:31:48]>> I LOVE TOURING. I'M LIKE, "OH, they getting it in next door. Look at >> me. I'd be I'd be with a cup. [laughter] >> If I had a roommate having sex, I'd be outside the door when they come out.

[00:31:58]I'll be like, "So, uh, >> we had a good night, right?" [laughter] >> We had a good time.

[00:32:04]>> I'd be in my robe oiled up outside in the kitchen ready with some hot tea for them. My god, >> I'm too bisexual for that. I'm like, "Uh, y'all [laughter] need somebody in there."

[00:32:13]>> That's where I'm headed. That's where I'm headed. And don't let it be two men.

[00:32:18]Don't let the door be cracked. I'mma be in there like [laughter] >> Look, >> watching.

[00:32:24]>> People like to be watched.

[00:32:25]>> I know. Hell, I'm like, I want a roommate [laughter] so bad.

[00:32:30]>> Did you ever have roommates in college that they was in there getting it in or you were the roommate getting it in?

[00:32:35]>> Never. I had a roommate who uh in college uh one roommate that I had was never there. She had a boyfriend. He had his own apartment. She was never there.

[00:32:43]And my second roommate was from the Philippines. She was a lesbian from the Philippines and um she would talk to her girlfriend late at night, but her girlfriend did not live in the US.

[00:32:54]>> So, um and I never brought anybody back to my place while any anybody was there or anything like that. So, no. And you know, this is one room in college, so never. Have you?

[00:33:05]>> Yeah. Well, it's Mhm. Yes. [laughter] >> I was like, >> you brought somebody back?

[00:33:10]>> Yes. Well, I was about to lie and say never when we was just in a one room together, but that's a lie as well.

[00:33:18]>> But she did it, too. Like me, me and my freshman year roommate where like her bed's there, my bed's there. We just had to understand it. We were like, "Girl, get yours. I'm going to get mine." Like, she was great. I think she actually lives in LA now.

[00:33:31]>> Uh, but me and her both were just like, >> you pretend on the door. Like, while she was getting it in, maybe put a headphone in or like I'm like, "You know what? Let me hit the dining hall. Like, [laughter] cuz that's my girl. Like, she got to get her she got to get her clean.

[00:33:46]>> I'm such a damn weirdo. Don't put me on Love Island. I'll be in the bed. I'll be up LIKE [laughter] SO. NO, I would be insufferable on Love Island cuz I'd be like, "Jazz, it's your night."

[00:34:01]>> Uh, who what are some of the characters names? The characters.

[00:34:04]>> The characters. Um, uh, shoot. I don't know. K Casey.

[00:34:09]>> Casey. I ain't heard y'all in a minute.

[00:34:11]Let's get it popping. [laughter] >> Let's go. Who next? Roll call. You about to be roll calling that mother >> for real. Like >> if I ain't heard you moaning yet, what y'all doing? [laughter] He need to be cut.

[00:34:22]>> Oh man, that's my joke. I just I I I guess I'm a um I know I like to be watched, but there was something about that. I thought it was so funny. Like, dang, I wish I had a roommate. How would I act? And I all the actouts that come with that. ear up to the wall at the comedy club.

[00:34:39]>> Me peeking on the side of the stage.

[00:34:41]Like there's so much. It's so fun to play around with that idea.

[00:34:44]>> So you think so cuz you you need the act outs of you listening.

[00:34:48]>> Yes.

[00:34:48]>> Now you need the acts outs of you like are you kind of like joining in in your room or you're just listening >> or or are you like popcorn let me give y'all some advice?

[00:34:57]>> I'm like get over IN THERE. [laughter] >> SWITCH IT UP.

[00:35:01]>> I'm turning on the music real loud for them. I'm like hold on let me give y'all a playlist. Let me let me right. [laughter] >> You got the candles in there. Yeah.

[00:35:12]>> They come out of the room. I got hot towels. [laughter] >> Put the tongue. Hot towel. Anybody?

[00:35:19]Anybody need a little cleanup towel? I ain't hear y'all peeing after.

[00:35:24]>> Okay.

[00:35:24]>> I love that.

[00:35:25]>> Eucalyptus. [laughter] >> I love this like aftercare sex ritual you got. Like [laughter] I need to incorporate that. You know, we got the kids. We be like, "Go, go.

[00:35:35]Somebody await."

[00:35:37]>> Oh, no. They're crying.

[00:35:38]>> No. My My number one specialty for afterare is I always bring a hot towel with a little bit of soap. And then I also bring a dry towel because >> there's options.

[00:35:47]>> Oh, well, the hot towel first and then the dry towel so you don't go to sleep away. And you can just like lay that over you. You can like, you know, relax.

[00:35:54][laughter] >> Such a classy woman. You know, we've been sleeping with the same man. He like, "Where that t-shirt [laughter] at?" I'm just like, gosh, how hot, [laughter] where that shirt at? Okay, let me see my [laughter] right.

[00:36:14]>> Oh my god, that's >> putting a makeup wipes.

[00:36:16]>> Okay, [laughter] thank God for Mac.

[00:36:19]>> He like, "Your eyelash fell off. You rewearing these?" I'm like, "I am." He's like, "Let me put them to the side."

[00:36:24][laughter] >> Oh my goodness. Okay. What's your uh what's your uh jokes that don't work this week? Um, I love the idea of calling to some of my imperfections, but saying that I'm doing this for y'all.

[00:36:38]Like, I can't I can't like I can't uh cut my my FOA off because I wouldn't be relatable cuz I'm doing that for y'all.

[00:36:46]>> You know what I'm saying? Like, I can't be perfect. So, and I really also have been enjoying call and response. Like I have uh right now how I end my show is a way for everybody to tap in, call back and stuff like that. So I'm trying to just find because your your audience wants to talk a little bit sometimes and they want to talk besides woo. Yeah. You know, who here's Mary? Woo.

[00:37:09]>> They want to be like um so I'm sort of I'm I'm trying to create something where I say like I would cut my belly off but I can't cuz I do it for y'all. Y'all say you do that for us. Yeah.

[00:37:20]>> And then throughout the show, >> I can maybe call back to that. Like >> you do that for us.

[00:37:25]>> Yes. Right. Like I I can't wax my coochie. I got to stay relevant to y'all for this story. I do that FOR Y'ALL. BUT SEE, but [laughter] anything I got to stay in debt so I can stay relatable to y'all.

[00:37:37]>> You do that for us.

[00:37:38]>> Yes. something like that where I just threw out very because essentially >> the comedian is almost like a >> not the same thing, but >> the the tools that like a preacher or a pastor would use to tell a good sermon and story are the same tools I would argue that a comedian would use to >> guide a crowd through. Absolutely.

[00:38:02]>> I need I need a sweat rag where I was recently and all I was like this is a full deacon sermon right now.

[00:38:07]>> Amen. So they Yeah. So the crowd loves a good God is good all the time. All the time God is good moment. So I am >> trying to make the list of imperfections. Like I I had to marry a white man cuz there's so many great black men here that tell [laughter] me they got to stay on the market. So that's I did that for y'all. You did that for us. Yeah. Just [laughter] any random thing um that I that they could call back I think would be very fun.

[00:38:34]>> I love that.

[00:38:36]>> Yeah.

[00:38:36]>> I love that. Now, do I need to shorten the what they say back?

[00:38:39]>> No.

[00:38:40]>> But I always need to cue them.

[00:38:42]>> But I do it for y'all.

[00:38:43]>> Yes.

[00:38:44]>> You did that for us. Yeah.

[00:38:45]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:38:46]>> And it's just going to get crazier and crazy. Like I had to sleep with them because I >> You did that for us.

[00:38:51]>> Yes. Yes. I had to eat that entire plate of garbage nachos.

[00:38:55]>> Yes.

[00:38:56]>> I had to go to that sex party cuz what what would I talk about tonight? I did that for y'all. You did that for us.

[00:39:02]Yes.

[00:39:02]>> Love it. They going to comment you did that for us in the comments. It's already Yes. Love it.

[00:39:07]>> Like anytime it's like lipstick on my teeth. I had to do that to stay relatable because these celebrities, they're getting unrelatable.

[00:39:15]>> You did that for us. I love it.

[00:39:18]>> Love.

[00:39:18]>> Yes.

[00:39:19]>> I'm keeping that. Cool.

[00:39:20]>> Yes. That's inspired me to think about what are some ways cuz I and it happens like sometimes naturally in in different ways throughout the show in every different show, but I think like just a way that you could just bring people back and it's so fun cuz that can change.

[00:39:34]>> Yes. You know what I mean? It can change all the time or a different set. It could be something else. I just think it's so fun.

[00:39:40]>> Or then every now and then you can be like, "I did that for y'all.

[00:39:43]>> You did that for us."

[00:39:45]>> Well, I kind of did that for me. Like you like, "Okay, that what I did for me."

[00:39:49]>> Yes.

[00:39:49]>> Like I I you know, I had to try that drug for the first time. [laughter] >> Well, I did that for you. Yeah. Right.

[00:39:56]>> That's great for merch, too.

[00:39:57]>> Oh, yes.

[00:39:58]>> Yes. people. You did I did that for y'all t-shirts or you did that for us.

[00:40:03]>> And it's just a wonderful little inside joke to remind you of how much fun you had at the show.

[00:40:08]>> Yeah.

[00:40:08]>> Yeah.

[00:40:10]>> Yeah. Even like it's so crazy like in the last episode Nene was talking about like thinking about ourselves like a business. Yes. Like sometimes what I'll do is I'll be like what's something I say all the time online >> and how many jokes could that be the tag the punch line for? So I always online I'm like it's always mother something and I'm like how can I make e even just that like how can we put that on a shirt and then how can that be the out to every single bit from the show. Yeah >> to or whatever it is. But it it when it all works it works so nice. Yeah.

[00:40:44]>> Cuz then it's like the cocktail can be named like what you drink tonight? The mother something like or or like did it for y'all? What whatever it is it can all it could be a a full experience. See that's what church does well.

[00:40:57]See, >> yes, pastor.

[00:40:58]>> Pastor, [laughter] you got to use some of them pastor techniques. They do work sometimes.

[00:41:02]>> You do. Pastor is I saw uh somebody on thread said, "I love being a comedian cuz I I know when my pastor is not having a good set. [laughter] >> That's really what it is."

[00:41:14]>> Yes. Well, you Oh my god. I would never forget one time growing up as a kid, the pastor was so funny. And so he basically was like, you know, saints, in this life when things go wrong, you just got to keep praying because it gets better. And they would be like, it gets better better. And you ever your grandma been sick and you just get to praying and what happened? It gets better. And like that was the call of response, right?

[00:41:40]>> And he was like, "But sometimes you be praying and praying and praying and and of course it gets better." He said, "It gets worse." [laughter] and I cracked up. And he was just basically saying like, "It gets worse sometimes." Yeah.

[00:41:55]>> But you keep praying because eventually >> it gets better.

[00:41:58]>> But the bait and switch of it getting worse tickled me to my soul. I was like, "He kind of ate that. He kind of ate that."

[00:42:04]>> And then right when it gets better, it gets better. It gets better. Yeah. Go into your pocket books.

[00:42:10]>> Right. [laughter] >> Better starts today, saints. See, you know it. Do [laughter] >> Let me open up my pocket book. Hold on.

[00:42:18]I thought you >> Oh, okay. Well, uh, this is Quit Playing with Jasmine and Amber. Um, I I guess I'll say who played with me this week.

[00:42:29]Okay. Um, [laughter] this actually happened yesterday. Uh, so it feels fresh. My ego is hurt. Okay.

[00:42:37]So, this is a [clears throat] period story for anybody. Just giving y'all the heads up. I don't know why. Listen to it. Anyway, um, >> my period is very much on time. I have a 21-day cycle. You I I use a app, the Flow app, to keep track of my period.

[00:42:52]Usually, I start my period the day of, sometimes the day before, very rarely, or the day after. The day of or the day after, the app says I was supposed to start my period, uh, today's a Monday. I was supposed to start my period on Wednesday. Yesterday was Sunday. Every Sunday, me and my kid go to the farmers market.

[00:43:11]Um, I'm all dressed up in my new workout outfit to go to the farmers market, feeling cute. Um, we get outside the car and you know like I don't know if this happens to you, but sometimes if you cough or sneeze as a mom, a little bit of pee comes out.

[00:43:23]>> No, no explanation [laughter] needed, but that Well, you you did that for them.

[00:43:27]>> I I did that for y'all. Sometimes I think I got out of the car and I was like, little bit of pee and I'm like, little bit of pee, it's fine. It'll dry up in a few seconds. I'm walking. I'm like, this not really feeling like it's drying up too much. And so, you know, me and my kid are walking through the farmers market and I was like, let me just check. I squat down and on my, you know, in between my legs there's a little stain and I'm like, "Dang, did I just start my period? This is weird."

[00:43:53]Yeah, this is three days early. So, I took off my workout jacket. I I wrapped it around my waist and I told my baby, I said, "Listen, we won't be able to stay at the farmers market as long as we usually do. We're going to stay. We're going to get the things we need and we're going to leave." And my kid's like, "Why, mama? We just got here." I'm like, "Yeah, we're just going to leave sooner than we normally do." And my kid is like, "Mama, why? We I got to get a balloon." I said, "Mama's having an emergency." "Mama's having an emergency." Okay. My kids say, "What's the emergency?" I said, "I'll tell you when we get in the car." They're like, "Can you tell me now?" I'm like, "No."

[00:44:23][laughter] >> No. I I try to tell my kid, you know, so we walk through the pharmacy. I'm like, "Okay, it's time to go. We're there about 45 minutes." I'm like, "It's time to go."

[00:44:32]>> We get in the car. My kids's like, "What's the emergency, mama? What is the emergency?" I said, "Mama, mama's booty is bleeding." [laughter] And I It was unexpected today. And I'm sorry, mama's booties. My kids said, [gasps] >> my kids said, "Is it getting worse or is it getting better?" I said, "It's about the same." Okay, it's a period. It happens every month. My kids said, "I need to see it." I said, "No." They said, "When we get home, I need to see it." I said, "No, >> we ain't getting A BALLOON. I NEED [laughter] I need to see something."

[00:45:03]>> My kids said, "When my booty is bleeding, you look at it.

[00:45:06]>> You look at it.

[00:45:08]>> I need to see I need to see your booty."

[00:45:10]I said, "No." We walk into the house. I get into the shower. My kid is like, "I need to see your booty. I need to see your booty." I'm like, "No." And you finally I was like, "They're worried."

[00:45:21]>> I was like, "Do you see the pants >> that I just took off? You see the pants?

[00:45:25]They have blood on them right there."

[00:45:26]And my kid was like, "Yeah, I see that.

[00:45:29]>> They're bleeding.

[00:45:29]>> Dang.

[00:45:31]>> Oh my god.

[00:45:32]>> I'm sorry, mama. Are you okay?" I'm like, "I'm okay." So, my period played with me this week um for the first time.

[00:45:38]And >> I feel like the child also doubted you.

[00:45:40]>> What? I need to see your booty.

[00:45:42]>> I need to see your booty. I need I'm in the shower. I need to see your booty. I need to see your booty, mama. I'm like, you don't get no peace. No peace. I was having a bad, you know. And then I say, "Mama going to lay down for a few minutes." Mama really doesn't feel that good. I'm cramping. My kids like, "Can you play with me?" I'm like, "No, we just came from the farmers market." They like, "We didn't play.

[00:46:04]>> Come on, man. We didn't play at the farm."

[00:46:06]>> Child said, [laughter] "You miss me with all that. You miss me with that. This ain't no PTO. Is this is a work day.

[00:46:13]>> I know.

[00:46:14]>> Oh my gosh. What? So the app just I think my period just came early.

[00:46:18]>> Someone has to be blamed. [laughter] The child the app someone [cheering] must pay.

[00:46:23]>> No, I It was just a shorter [laughter] whatever, I guess. You know. So yeah.

[00:46:28]>> I need to see your booty.

[00:46:29]>> I need to see your booty. I can't get no peace. Like I'm in here. I'm emotionally traumatized. You know what I'm saying?

[00:46:35]Cuz that's like as a woman, I think that's one of the most embarrassing things that can happen. Like I'm like, "Did people see blood on my boot?" You couldn't really see it and I caught it really early. But you know, like I need to see your booty while I'm just trying to like think and get cleaned up in the shower.

[00:46:50]>> And it hurts because sometimes at a certain age you're like, I haven't FIGURED THIS OUT YET. LIKE WHY HAVEN'T I FIGURED IT LIKE my body?

[00:46:57]>> When do we get some stability with this?

[00:46:59]>> I'm 37.

[00:47:01]Why is this still happening?

[00:47:04]>> Like this is feeling like middle school.

[00:47:05]Like what's going on?

[00:47:06]>> Yeah. I thought I had it down to a science, but my body was like, "Uh, today [snorts] we we doing something different."

[00:47:12]>> I need to see your booty is [laughter] a t-shirt in the making.

[00:47:16]>> I need to see your booty. I need to see >> cuz they do be wanting receipts like the receipt. Yeah.

[00:47:24]>> Let me see what going on with their hair.

[00:47:25]>> Yeah. And my kid always be like, "Mama, my booty itch right here." Cuz they have a little eczema. They be like, "My booty itch right here. I need you to put some cream on."

[00:47:32]>> You know who that sound like? actually in my house. Ben, >> really >> this morning he's like, "Is there a PIMPLE RIGHT BACK HERE?" [laughter] GOD, can we eat breakfast?

[00:47:40]>> Right.

[00:47:42]>> And it was a huge pimple back there.

[00:47:44]>> Oh my god. How you get a pimple back there? [laughter] You got to exfoliate.

[00:47:50]>> Wiping down with a towel and some makeup wipes probably. I don't know. [laughter] >> I don't know. But it was a it was a right proper pimple. I don't know what he sat on. It was crazy.

[00:48:00]>> Oh, he got a a cyst. Sister back. Is that a a boil back there? What is that boil back there?

[00:48:07]>> Tonight you better tell I need to see your booty. I need to see your booty.

[00:48:13]>> Okay. Who played with you this week?

[00:48:16]>> You You about to be playing with me, too? Because I at So, Jasmine and I are standup comics. Yep.

[00:48:24]>> Jasmine's been doing this way longer than me. So, I always ask Jasmine, you know, for the lay of the land. And and I my bar for doing things is if Jasmine's performed at a club, like I'm sure it's fine for me. Uh it wasn't fine for me because Jasmine performed at that club in the winter.

[00:48:42]>> I did.

[00:48:43]>> I performed at this hot ass club in the summer. Now, I want to start by saying this. The staff was great for me. The the staff 10 out of 10. Actually, the staff is great.

[00:48:53]>> Um even the hotel that they put me in, >> wonderful. Yeah. Um, but I started seeing some red flags because I was getting DM questions that I had never got before. Yeah.

[00:49:04]>> So, some of the DMs were like, "Did they get their AC fixed yet?" And I was like, >> I I thought you were going to ask about parking. Like, >> that's odd. What do you mean? Did they get their AC fixed? The club that I'm playing two shows at tonight is asking about. There's I have not again call me green, call me new. I have not yet until this done a a show at a comedy club where there was no AC.

[00:49:36]>> Is this is this the bar now where it's like some have AC, some don't? Is like this is crazy.

[00:49:43]>> It is crazy. Um listen, before you went though, did I not tell you that they don't really have a good Don't be wearing them nice boots, Amber. And I I did that anyway. And you was right. The the foundation of the floor was not stable.

[00:49:55]>> I Yeah, I told you that the They don't have a private bathroom. Yeah. They don't have >> And that's been becoming more common, too. I'm like, get a bathroom back here.

[00:50:03]>> We need a comics need their own bathroom. They don't have a proper green room. They have a room.

[00:50:08]>> It's a hallway.

[00:50:09]>> A hallway that the staff is walking in and out of, no knocking and and carrying trash juice out. Uh, so you're like, "Okay, this move out of the way of this door before I get juice spilled on me."

[00:50:21]>> But you know, this is the this is the I I told Amber when she when she told me about the experience after the show, I'm like, "This is this will be in your book. These are these grimy comedic nights that every standup comedian has."

[00:50:34]>> And I dyed my hair, too. So, it's just blue juice running all down my my dress.

[00:50:39]>> Yeah.

[00:50:40]>> Got to get the Well, you know, Nene was talking about returning dress. I got to return that dress to a showroom. So my stylist is like, "How are we going to get this out?" I was like, "I don't know." But I >> hopefully the cleaners can get Yeah.

[00:50:50]Hopefully the cleaners can get it out because now this is now I made great money. That's the crazy part. I made great money, but that club was so hot.

[00:50:59]It was flies up there by my I've ne I've never worked in conditions like these. I have never been telling the joke with sweat in my eyes, sweat in my mouth, >> sweat in my nose. I'm like, they can see my coochie sweat right now. Yeah.

[00:51:13]>> Like I' I've obviously sweated at a show, but I was like, "This is this is illegal."

[00:51:20]>> Yeah. Well, I mean, um I' I've performed at a few hot venues. I performed in Bakersfield one time. It was so hot nobody left. It was too >> No. When it is that hot, people [laughter] people every even every boomerang you see from the shows, people be like, >> "She's so funny."

[00:51:38]>> Yes. is some of my a a a girl who actually had already seen the show in another city. She just loves me so much.

[00:51:45]She came to that city. She said >> she's like, "I had to leave before like the last before your last 20 minutes."

[00:51:51]She's like, "I I know you you're hilarious. This is great." But she's like, "I could not breathe. I was suffocating."

[00:51:56]>> I was like, "This is crazy."

[00:51:57]>> Yeah. I mean, it's illegal. It has to be.

[00:52:00]>> They should be shut down if they don't have AC in 95 degree weather.

[00:52:04]>> Like I said, it was snowing.

[00:52:05]>> I called a fire marshal. I don't even know if the fire marshall actually exists, but call somebody. Somebody somebody got to be called.

[00:52:11]>> H Yeah, it was snowing when I did that that venue in >> it was still hot.

[00:52:15]>> It was warm. [laughter] >> And of course I I did my absolute best to speak to it. I was because there were some stories I told I was like the sweat is actually helping in to the drama of this story. Yeah.

[00:52:27]>> But you you know it's only so much you can do.

[00:52:29]>> Well, people don't understand. Here's the thing, you know. Um, and you know, sometimes people are like, "Well, why didn't you have a better venue or why didn't First of all, we're not famous."

[00:52:39]No.

[00:52:39]>> You know what I mean? So, we do the rooms that we can sell out. We're still in our comeup for real. Like, we do the rooms that we can sell out and >> Yeah. That's why they Why is the show on a Wednesday night? Because the big dicks get the weekend.

[00:52:51]>> Exactly.

[00:52:52]>> Like that.

[00:52:53]>> I would come see you on a Saturday. I'm like, you'll never see me if you're not willing to support me on a Thursday. You will never see me on a Saturday.

[00:53:00]>> You will never see me on a Saturday. and we're trying to perform at the bottom how we would at the top. But y'all, it was so funny. If I can share what you told me.

[00:53:08]>> Yeah.

[00:53:08]>> When I when I sent that video, I was like, "Lash is off. My dress is blue, my shoes are damaged." I think you said something like, "See, just every day I'm reminded that women shouldn't be in comedy." [laughter] It was so funny. It was perfectly time. It was something like that, but you were like, "That women comedy ain't for women.

[00:53:28]>> Comedy ain't for women.

[00:53:29]>> It ain't. [laughter] We're dressed up in our nicest gowns, >> lashes, makeup, hair, and you're like, there's no place for us to men don't.

[00:53:38]Men show up in their t-shirt and they don't even stand up anymore.

[00:53:42]>> They don't I've seen some seated.

[00:53:44][laughter] >> So, and then everybody arenas. This man ain't even standing up. Booty on the stool the whole Let me see your booty.

[00:53:54]>> I did. [laughter] >> Yeah. Up. Up.

[00:53:56]>> I'm kind of like, how are you even touring? How can you get your check bag into the [laughter] into the stowway running from gate to gate making all your connections like >> they and I again I like to dress up for shows. I like to have stage presence.

[00:54:11]You ain't never going to catch me just sitting up there all night long. That is not how I get down. But that was the first night I was like I need to remain seated. [laughter] >> Like >> it was just so >> I was too embarrassed to go out and hug people. I was like I'm drenched. You you don't feel confident when you are just wet with sweat. Like you'll be like, "Don't hug me."

[00:54:29]>> Yeah.

[00:54:30]>> And and I'm sure people are like, "We don't care." But I'm like, "I care.

[00:54:32]>> I know you do.

[00:54:33]>> I care. I like to feel beautiful and confident." Not like I'm I'm I flung so much sweat on somebody. I'm like, "Y'all pay for the best seats [laughter] in the house and now y'all in the splash zone."

[00:54:43]>> Yeah.

[00:54:44]>> I splashed one girl so hard on my sweat.

[00:54:46]I said, "I What's your DRINK ORDER? GET GET HER A DRINK. I owe you a drink."

[00:54:50]Yeah, >> cuz you paid for VIP seats.

[00:54:52]>> Did they bring her one?

[00:54:53]>> Of course not. There's two people working. Freaking Seaquan running around like crazy. I said >> Seaquan, can we get a rock?

[00:55:02]>> Please get a Red Bull over here.

[00:55:03][laughter] >> Get the woman some Kasamigos.

[00:55:07]>> Yeah. When I did two shows at that club in December, I'm seating people. People were like, I'm like, can you sit here?

[00:55:14]I'm making sure cuz I want people that come see me to have the best seats or to have the I'm rearranging tables, >> girl. I was rearranging tables before the show. I was seating people and there were people ARE LIKE, "WAIT, JASMINE, BABE, [laughter] THIS is your like why?"

[00:55:29]>> But one day we won't have to do any of that.

[00:55:32]>> Yeah.

[00:55:32]>> You know, so well y'all um thank you for listening to the podcast. We want to see your booty and um >> and come see us do standup so that we can get out of uh dungeons without uh central air conditioning.

[00:55:50]>> Bye y'all. Bye. [laughter] Quit playing with Jasmine and Amber is a Pur Studios production. We would like to thank our producer Corey Nixon. This episode was edited by the fabulous Christopher Schwallenberg video production and that audio engineering by Kane O. And we love our executive producer here and there making a dress, Bob the Dragman. [laughter] Follow us on Instagram at quitplaying pod. And if somebody played with you, maybe a hot ass club, please email us at [email protected].

[00:56:25]You can listen to Quit Playing with Jasmine and Amber on Apple, Spotify, wherever you listen to your podcast. And you can watch us on YouTube. You going to want to see what we got on. And please quit playing with Jasmine and Amber. Bye >> bye.

[00:56:40]>> All right. Listen, before you leave, make sure you check out Persp Studios YouTube memberships. is a great way to support us making content for the girls, gays, and they. They start off at just $4.99 and it comes with things like badges, shoutouts, early access, exclusive content, and more. Head over to the link in the description and join, and you can pick your tier: coin purse, clutch purse, first or Birkin bag. All right, bye everyone.

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