When adults experience unmet attachment needs, their nervous system can trigger childlike temper tantrums, anger, and defensiveness, which often leads to self-blame and shame while simultaneously alienating the person they are with; this reaction stems from the nervous system's inability to handle the intensity of being denied connection, causing both parties to suffer.
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That Relationship Meltdown Was Actually a Cry for Connection #shorts #relationships #psychologyHinzugefügt:
Think of a child in a crib crying who starts having a temper tantrum. Well, many of us do that as adults. We can't handle in our nervous system the intensity of being denied connection.
And this might show up when you're at a really lovely nice evening dinner at a restaurant where something is said and either here's the tricky part and I'm so sorry to say it like this cuz we we judge ourselves harshly, we blame ourselves and that kind of shame is folded all into this we think it's our fault that we're not getting our attachment needs met.
And if something happens like over dinner and we just find ourselves going into this very demanding temper tantrum or anger shows up the defensiveness.
It's going to impact the other person and then now we're not only managing the immediacy of what happened, but now our own history has showed up, but we're simultaneously alienating the person that we're with and they're experiencing now being impacted by our outburst, our anger, our defensiveness or our poutiness.
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