ഇന്റിമസിക്ക് ശേഷം സ്ത്രീകൾക്ക് കൂടുതൽ അടുപ്പം തോന്നുന്നത് എന്തുകൊണ്ട്? - Wiljo Wilson Interview

Added: 2026-05-31

[00:00:00]after sex.

[00:00:04]Emotally emotionally females.

[00:00:22]It's not sex means sex and does not mean that I'm going to get close to you. Partner swapping in sex.

[00:00:50]Fantasy fantasy mind create psychologist Welcome sir. Thank you.

[00:01:21]The body keeps us emotional.

[00:01:59]The body keeps the score especially traumatic events mostly negative event.

[00:02:19]So which means that our problem is above us and traumat for example maybe nervous systematic and triggered. So, so next time what happens is a trigger will happen.

[00:03:19]traumatic.

[00:03:22]Sometimes maybe automatically.

[00:03:42]So yes, it is very true.

[00:03:51]So completely it is true relationship.

[00:04:11]for maybe emotionally physically relationship.

[00:04:49]basic reason.

[00:04:52]Biological differences relationship, especially physically.

[00:05:08]Naturally speaking, Even our relationship break maybe for whatever reason.

[00:05:39]In fact, so naturally physical intimacy, sexual encounter and again she liked me because of some She can like somebody else also if the technique is the same. So this is also part of male psychology mostly when he's very possessive.

[00:06:48]I don't trust the other men in her life.

[00:07:03]because I know that >> but why am I jealous with a friend maybe a potential partner that is because I don't trust that man but I've seen men being more Not I'm not saying that women tend to many times relationship after Exeally after emotional attach sexual encounter emotionally attachment sexual encounters intimacy uh Um actually speaking basically because it's not ruled by so many factors. Mum attachment patterns do I tend to get close to that personnual encounter. So what happens is through that process of sex through this I want to get closer to this person because sex emotional attachment sex means sex and does not mean that I'm going to get close to you.

[00:10:01]It all depends on what is sex building inside you.

[00:10:08]It can work in either ways.

[00:10:11]Partner swapping in sex.

[00:10:26]partner.

[00:10:39]Yeah, basically it's a it's a fragment of imagination.

[00:10:53]Uh basically imagination is very normal and it is very ancient.

[00:11:07]All these things are there because It did not come out of nowhere.

[00:11:53]temples you know work of art.

[00:11:59]These are all part of humans and they made money out of it.

[00:12:20]swapping fantasies was always there.

[00:12:29]Sexual fantasies sometimes help them to engage in better sex.

[00:12:35]Fantasy is imagination reality becomes difficult connection connection basically starting there is an emotional connect of course relationship means there has to be an emotional connect means that already I was connected to my partner eventually videos like How porn affect you is that porn which means that even though I'm getting so much addicted to porn that I start to get sexually turned on and then because Definitely.

[00:13:41]And then sexual fantasies and then they both are okay with it.

[00:14:02]Force definitely emotion plus you know partner starts to feel that uh this is not good this happens reality sir for depression, trauma, break, Anxiety.

[00:15:03]Yeah, absolutely 100% mental disorders, mental health issues.

[00:15:11]Important factors.

[00:15:16]There are other reasons as well which means with the relationship naturally when I move forward in lifehood these all contribute to mental health issues. What we are discussing now is that naturally parents how do I get which very much happens say for example food is transported to the baby's food hormones.

[00:16:04]So naturally adoping mechanisms naturally gets stored in the baby's body as well. Means for example let's say pregnancy had a bad relationship with in-laws father mother and husband naturally she will try to cope up conflict maybe she will try to cope up in different ways natural nervous system adapt nervous system trigger n will try to adapt to those situations the adaption mechanisms is also copied into the baby's body as well. So naturally fully adaption system and so to know about certain things in a certain way because nervous system it was already programmed in a way and the child did not even do it. It happened through the mother.

[00:17:18]Let's say a child is born normal as a normal child. And mechanisms and for example say for example let's say okay child rape happened and naturally even directly subconsciously the mother will teach the child that you have to be very careful of men >> and And the child even does not know why. So maybe sexual abuse it starts to be extra alert. I have to be careful because subconscious program.

[00:18:09]So in a way yes through your parents biologically through their body.

[00:18:14]Secondly subconscious programming through the parents. Parents coping mechanisms 100%. Yes.

[00:18:40]Because and even sexual abuse many times. So naturally the child will start to believe that you know I cannot trust people. Uh plus so starts to feel very bad about themselves you know negative feelings negative feelings a feeling that I'm bad something has is wrong within me so naturally shattered self-esteem selfimage plus carrying all this trauma within and safety through choose a narcissistic husband.

[00:19:51]I should choose someone who I can support, who I can trust.

[00:20:09]Why did you choose the same person again?

[00:20:12]Because narcissist father maybe he treated me good plus he treated me bad.

[00:20:27]I tend to take all the good and happens both ways also.

[00:20:37]>> I have seen men who had you know very traumatic relationship with mothers almost familiarity which is selective.

[00:20:50]>> Familiarity feels safe. Familiarity is safety. Thank you. issues.

[00:20:57]So, uh sexual abuse victim goes into a marriage and definitely abuse the person feels very bad on the Soy feels very bad about herself. Secondly, why did I choose a person who also doing the same thing >> that my abuser did?

[00:21:45]overthinking.

[00:22:02]A lot of us overink mechanism and sometimes what happens is say for example relationships Okay.

[00:22:44]because somewhere okay let's say and so naturally overinking think if I'm arriving at an answer which means which means that it is okay it is controllable it is safe and in fact reality is a safety there is no point like that and so to an extent that and fatigue.

[00:23:40]So overthinking therapist manage sometimes you cannot control your thoughts.

[00:24:04]So what happens here is that even how can I prevent myself from getting triggered by those thoughts.

[00:24:15]How can I divert myself from this thinking loop and look into something which is much more beneficial for me?

[00:24:21]That's how therapy helps you.

[00:24:48]decision making issue.

[00:24:51]relationship crisis, mental health, personality or mood disorders that something is wrong but I don't know exactly we help them to you know develop we are giving them a good idea that this is what is happening in your life and There is no one size that fits all.

[00:25:39]A good therapist should look behind the mental disorder behind and it's always said that we look at the soul of the person.

[00:25:58]Psychotherapy language soul is the sum total of the physical, mental, emotional, spiritual aspects of that person.

[00:26:08]Definitely.

[00:26:09]Let's say let's say depressive thinking system.

[00:26:39]So e so which means that 90% effectiveness 40% effectiveness because 90% effectiven CBT definitely it's a very it's a very logical therapy it works on your thinking process.

[00:27:24]I have this issue, but I want the therapist to just listen to me.

[00:27:30]They don't even know what they want.

[00:27:36]What do they want? I understand that issue, but what do you want? Do you want to solve this? Do you want me to just hear you out >> or do you want me and you to work on a solution? So, because relationship crisis, relationship people face partner.

[00:28:33]There are certain patterns in the client.

[00:28:38]more than diagnosis.

[00:28:44]We look at what the person is facing and we look at what the person wants.

[00:29:01]Right.

[00:29:25]formal.

[00:30:04]Definitely mental health.

[00:30:24]But overall 65 to 70% females.

[00:30:49]So naturally we have an inclination to think that women but I would say opposite actually I need support to work on my life which is great strength natural Young generation that's everywhere men are supposed to be stronger you know providers so weak weakness so men tend to feel that you know this is not mean they don't have an issue. In fact, we have programs for women. Women empowerment empowerment.

[00:32:02]Men are also facing a lot of trouble actually support systems that I should not show my weakness. But naturally men also face a lot of struggles in life and so again clinically naturally speaking yeah and they just seek an answer you know I have an issue and I know that I need to get over this issue and uh but it's I have an answer but I need to know if this is the right answer you know to cry some are okay completely I I cannot cope up with this issue So exhibit in the body language different.

[00:33:14]Uh so again and to answer one more question I agree with that recently so many people are coming and in fact so many people have a mental so many people have decided to take charge of their life issues or there issues Mental health relationship people never used to go but now people are taking but it's a very small issue and they also know it but I need a therapist to help me I don't like to say that I'm a psychologist. Psychologists therapist is much more friendly.

[00:34:34]So I use that word.

[00:34:37]Don't I'm not a psychologist. You know, call me a therapist. I am your therapist.

[00:34:42]Psychologist mental health issue psychologists.

[00:34:53]Mhm.

[00:34:56]Psychologists treat mental health.

[00:35:10]It all depends on what is the issue that you're facing.

[00:35:17]But you can go to anyone psychiatrist if I have a problem 100% I can go and visit the psychiatrist. Psychiatrist is an MBBS doctor. MBBS MD psychiat It's a pure doctor and what they do medication support medication support situations they are good classic example you know depression Clinical depression, violence, suicidal thoughts, definitely psychiatrist is the person to go.

[00:36:21]Respons other side is psychologist.

[00:36:25]Psychologist, clinical psychologist, counseling psychologist, even that's different.

[00:36:32]Clinical psychologist they are more into diagnosis and clinical psychology.

[00:36:44]They have the license to diagnose diagnosis. They prepare the sheet and that sheet can be used you know for you know do hospitalization work.

[00:37:00]It's good diagnosis psychologists which means that you know psychotherapy in fact disorders I would say disorders they all should work hand in they will refer. I'm a counselor. I'm a psychotherapist and counseling.

[00:37:42]I will work on them.

[00:37:49]I will refer them to my friends who are psychiatrist and clinical psychologist.

[00:37:56]They will come back to me and definitely you need counseling psychotherapy because you need it.

[00:38:15]It's not competition, it's collaboration.

[00:38:28]Foreign mind control.

[00:38:55]Okay. Um, interesting question.

[00:38:59]Okay, I'll answer it. Um let's say lielong medication which I'm not glorifying medication medication It's a support medication eventually medication will come down. In fact, mental health psychiatrist you know this person should be on medication full time they will give it eventually.

[00:40:08]If this person is now able to sustain without medication medication and medication if I'm having an issue I might need it again violence you know suicidal thoughts issues Highly severe depressive thoughts, lack of motivation.

[00:40:45]There are so many others daily.

[00:40:55]So medication it's mutually complimented and psychiatrist worked will tell them to take therapy also it a person has to come back to therapy.

[00:41:22]Therapy is very very important.

[00:41:24]Counseling is very very important.

[00:41:31]But it is there completely. No mind.

[00:41:49]For example, let us say depression.

[00:41:55]Depression basically it is a it is almost a problem inside your brain.

[00:41:59]brain motivation and that is because normal level it is not able to be produced or transported within the brain.

[00:42:18]It needs medication. Medication helps the mind to function better. Not completely that person can get better. Medication controls a particular aspect. It supports a particular aspect of the therapy process.

[00:42:57]for psychologist psychologist learned helplessness.

[00:43:34]I tried so much to correct myself correct my life there is an issue with me which means I have a problem which means that I'm naturally helpless So learned helplessness through my situations taught me to be helpless and don't make a move.

[00:44:10]Somehow naturally we learned helplessness we train the client that it's not how you think you know. For example, it's very it's steep and it's very it's very high.

[00:45:01]But I am going to change the way I look at the situation.

[00:45:15]you know because I'm changing the way by in which I'm looking at this the problem. So naturally, okay, now I have hope.

[00:45:52]subconscious mind conscious mindscious mind in fact conscious mind unconscious mind socious partially conscious it's subconsciously managed muscle memory in the brain which means that certain memory is stored and there is a part of my mind which is controlling it also.

[00:46:31]So subconscious mind is controlling so many actions in your daily life.

[00:46:42]Subconscious mind will completely make my own choices. But there is nothing called your mind actually controls what you think.

[00:46:58]Let's say I took a particular decision on something you know comfort of my body actually speaking which are all controlled by the subconious Right. Plus relationships love which means there was something that attracted me.

[00:47:51]What is it something? I don't know. What is that something? I don't know. I don't know. Can you tell me the answer?

[00:47:58]>> Okay.

[00:48:01]So, completely control with subconscious mind patterns relationship being on time for something.

[00:48:13]The way I look at people, the way I look at myself, you know, control subconscious mind. So, number of subconscious mind.

[00:48:26]Thank you sir.

[00:48:40]Thank you. Thank you so much.