How to talk to a narcissist when you HAVE to

Added: 2026-05-30

[00:00:00]Stay no contact with the narcissist if you can, but if you're forced to talk to them, there's only one strategic way to do it to be able to accomplish anything at all. These people are delusional.

[00:00:12]They think that they are the greatest gift to the earth. They have a superiority complex. And the minute you start feeding their ego, you are way more likely to get further with them if you have to co-parent with them or if they're your co-worker. I learned this because as a TV reporter, you have to interview hundreds or thousands of people and sometimes you would have to do jailhouse interviews. So if I was walking into a prison to interview a prolific bank robber who maybe didn't want to talk to me, I could cater to his overinflated ego by saying things that would sound ridiculous to a normal person. So if I go into the interview and I know that he's not going to cooperate or he's actively trying to manipulate me, then I can say to him, "You are the smartest bank robber California has ever seen in its history.

[00:01:04]How'd you end up in this jail?" Now he's more likely to talk. For most healthy people, if you're telling them, "You are the smartest person ever," they're like, "No, I'm not. Why are you saying that to me? What are you trying to get out of me?" But for somebody with a superiority complex, somebody with delusions of grandeur like a narcissist, they have been waiting their entire lives for people to emphasize what they believe of themselves, which is that I am smarter than everyone. I am above the law.

[00:01:37]Finally, somebody is recognizing that.

[00:01:39]And then they would be way more likely to talk, actually answer my questions for the interview, and be less likely to be trying to pull power moves or to be telling lies that I couldn't use in the broadcast or something like that. And so it's helpful to know strategic ways to talk to narcissists so that you can get in there, accomplish what you need to do, and get out of there and move about your day. You don't have to be trapped into hours-long conversations that go nowhere. You don't have to be constantly manipulated by them. And it's also helpful to recognize that these are the love-bombing tactics that narcissists are using on you because this is how they think. When they are telling you, "You're my soulmate," they truly believe they have found a perfect love at that point. That's one of the traits of narcissistic personality disorder is a preoccupation with the perfect love or the most money, the most success. They become obsessed with that idea, right?

[00:02:45]So, if somebody is telling you, "You're my soulmate," and they don't even know you yet, and it's only been three dates, it's safe to assume this is a love bomb coming from somebody who has an image of me that's not based in reality.