The Dark Side of Discipline Nobody Talks About

Added: 2026-05-12

[00:00:00]I want to be honest with you guys. There was a period in my life where I was achieving so much. I was doing bodybuilding shows. My software business was growing. I was successful, but I was the most miserable I'd been in my entire life. I wasn't even burnt out or overworked. I was just purely miserable.

[00:00:16]And no one could see it. Not my friends or my family that were closest to me.

[00:00:19]Because from the outside, everything seemed like it was going phenomenally.

[00:00:23]But on the inside, [music] I was unhappy. But before we get into this, I need you guys to understand something. I am always going to advocate for discipline and that will never change because I believe that discipline is one of the single most valuable assets to a successful life. I mean, anything that you see which a successful person has achieved came from showing up every single day no matter what. And of course, we all know that. Yet, there was one thing missing from it. And once I found that, my entire attitude towards discipline completely changed. [music] Now stay with me. Competitive bodybuilding does something to your brain. And it's incredibly hard to explain it unless you've gone through that. Every [clears throat] single meal is way precision. In fact, every decision that you make gets filtered through one question. And that question is, how does this help or benefit my prayer? And I loved that. I genuinely loved so much about it. It gave me structure and I loved the sacrifice because [music] it made me feel like I was working towards something tangible and the overall process [music] it gave me a sense of purpose and at that point it was like nothing in my life that I ever had yet. I mean now I have content like this which feels way more fulfilling. There was a moment after one of my shows and I'd given absolutely everything to it. I spent months of sacrificing relationships, my social life and [snorts] almost every comfort that you can think of. I stepped off stage and it was great. I felt like I achieved something. [music] I made all of these sacrifices and they paid off.

[00:01:55]But the next day I woke up feeling hollow. It was like someone had turned the lights off inside and I felt uncomfortable. Yet I couldn't understand why. Doing that show was true love for bodybuilding and [music] everything that came with it. And then for a few months after the show, I was feeling continuously empty. And what I came to realize is that I was using discipline to avoid something. And that something was emotional parts of myself which needed attention. So discipline was not about doing something for myself or achieving something. It was more so to forget about my emotions. I always felt like I never really fitted in and that I was always different. And in my mind, I think pushing so aggressively and using all of this discipline to such a severe extent was my way of coping with it. It wasn't purposeful or necessarily productive for what I needed. I think this was my subconscious need for community and fitting in almost like hey guys look at me I achieved something and no wonder why I felt so hollow and unhappy because it was not real and not what I needed. And now this is not singularly a bodybuilding problem. You might be the person that works 16 hours on your business every single day.

[00:03:00]You're disciplined but are you present?

[00:03:03]You're working 16 hours but what are you actually working towards? [music] Are you trying to bury your emotions in discipline or are you actually working towards something? Discipline is the vehicle, [music] but if you don't have self-awareness, you don't know where you're driving. Now, I don't want to scare you guys from setting goals or working towards something. What I'm really trying to show you guys here is ask yourself why. Why do you want to achieve the things that you want?

[00:03:26]Because, God forbid that you do achieve them and it makes you feel even more unhappy. Discipline is the foundation to anything that you want to achieve in your life. But without purpose and awareness, it's not going to fulfill you the way that you intend. Or at least that's how it was for me.