Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna - 05/29/26 by Swami Atmajnanananda

Added: 2026-05-31

[00:00:22]Your words are like nectar. Bring life to scorch souls. They are praised by poets and remove all sin. They are auspicious to hear, wonderful and exalted. Those who spread these words throughout the world are truly giving souls.

[00:00:38]Welcome to our class on the gospel of Shramak Krishna. We are on the chapter the car festival at Balaram's house Balaramos and it started uh on page 800 Tuesday July 14th 1885 and now we're up to page 804 towards the bottom of the page the younger Nin. So now we're at at Balaram's house. Taco had come the night before. He spent the night there and uh they'll have the pulling of the of the chariot. But before that there's a group of of devities who are there. Golap ma gopalarma ma is there uh narendra many others are there. So the younger narin sir have we any free will?

[00:01:38]Now this this is is such an interesting question that uh I I'll read a little bit and then I w to I want to just spend a few minutes on this question. Master just try to find out who this eye is. So this is this is the first thing that uh while you're searching for I he comes out. Now this is one of the great teachings of Shami Krishna uh of one of the great vantic teachings that if we if we analyze the nature of the individual self so-called ja so-called individual self as the inddweller and generally we we resort to the example of the punch kosha or in tur's language which the peeling of the onion.

[00:02:36]Peeling of the onion. So, we're trying to find this ego, this this who is this person? Who is the person who dwells within?

[00:02:47]And uh uh we have to peel off all of the different outer layers, the body, the senses, the mind, the intellect, even the psychological layer and everything.

[00:02:58]And once we we've removed all of them, Then uh we find at the very heart of the uh of the onion we take off all the layers of the onion. There's nothing there but a space that small space when the last sheet is removed that's infinite space.

[00:03:20]So we don't find any any individual any eye there. We find that supreme absolute reality or we find God. So tak says you search for amii you'll find dini you'll you'll find god there in its place. So this if we if we follow this type of reasoning then how can I say I have free will if there's no real substance to this eye. This I is a type of phenomenon. This I comes from this identification with the the different sheets.

[00:03:58]This eye comes through this vigyamaya kosha. Anyhow, so this is this is one way of of of looking at this question.

[00:04:06]Okay. So there's no question of having individual free will if there's no individual ultimately. If there's no individual ultimately now there are so many different philosophical positions and spiritual attitudes. So we can we can look at it in in either way. We can say that there just different ways of of looking at this different schools of thought will give different answers to this question or we can say there's no one definitive answer. These are spiritual attitudes that some will be helpful, some will be more helpful, some will be less helpful.

[00:04:46]So this is that one idea that uh there's there's no ego centric eye. There's no reality to that.

[00:04:58]So that I can say that uh I'm even the doer at all. Forget about how much freedom I have as as the actor that I'm there's no actor. The actor turns out to be God himself masquerading as a human being.

[00:05:15]Now we can also say that my real sense of eye is I am the witness.

[00:05:21]So the witness doesn't do anything. The witness is not an agent. It's just the observer.

[00:05:28]Then we can have this attitude.

[00:05:31]Tak is always talking about this or singing that uh the song that I I am the the chariot you are the charioteer that uh I do as you make me do. Now here there's a sense of I there's a sense of I but not a sense of of of freedom that uh that there's some impulse within this idea of the antyamin uh that may may be considered to be absolute that I do whatever I'm made to do it may be considered to be just an impulse uh will will be inspiring us or inciting us or or giving us a a push in the in a certain direction to do something.

[00:06:19]So this is another kind of in between uh position and uh so then we have this idea that partial free will partial free will like the the cow that's tethered to the post within that that circle there's free will but it can't go beyond that. Now what is this based on this idea of of partial free will? To what extent can we say that uh I chose to do this out of freedom or I chose to do this not not impelled by anything. Now one idea of this lack of freedom is psychological determinism that we're impelled by our own nature.

[00:07:02]will find all of these ideas in Gita itself impelled by so Sri Krishna says to Arjuna that uh uh you don't have to really torture yourself over this decision whether to fight or not to fight your your own or swabhava will make you fight so we we don't have that kind of freedom uh to go against our swabhava so this will be another idea Then we also find that there's a gradation that uh the the extent to which we're free from the from the goonas the lower goas or the passions.

[00:07:46]So uh that's the extent to which we can we can make uh decisions based on reason or logic or some higher principle some according to some ideal which we can say is more or less free. So in in Gita we have that very interesting question that Arjuna asks why do we do things that we shouldn't do even if we don't want to do it as if we're compelled to do it as if by force. So he's saying that sometimes I feel that I'd like to do this. I know this is the right thing to do but I don't do it. So I feel helpless bound almost. So Sri Krishna says this is because of the passions born of rajas.

[00:08:33]So from that point of view that those those individuals who live uh according to and make decisions according to desire according to to what will be the easiest and pleasurable and all of that that there's there's some compelling element to that and those who are free from that uh then they can they can decide according to a certain standard.

[00:09:05]Now, anybody can argue and say that's also not free if if they're compelled to to act according to a higher standard.

[00:09:12]It's not free. But there's a difference.

[00:09:14]And we we have the story of the of the holy man and the scorpion. Scorpion stings because that's his nature. He is he's he can't be held accountable. We can't blame him. He has no choice in the matter. That's his nature. The holy man is different.

[00:09:30]He's also we can say acting according to his nature but his nature is in accordance with his principle also.

[00:09:39]So a little bit different in the Gita we have that verse even the wise person even the guani acts according to his nature but that nature is freedom.

[00:09:49]There's a different type of freedom that the that the realized soul has to act according to uh what even what should be done according to dharma and not according to this uh lower selfish desires that that that we have so this kroda okay now so then I already mentioned a little this psychological determinism that uh we're predisposed to decide something according to uh our own nature which is based on our samscatas and based on our lossas and and the tendencies and everything that we can't say that any decision is 100% free that we that now uh this also doesn't mean exactly that we're compelled to do it but this is our tendency to do it and we may think that this is the right thing to do okay so this this will be uh a question of not making a see this idea of a free choice is a little bit silly.

[00:10:57]It does doesn't mean that it's absolutely random that it's not based on anything.

[00:11:02]This is one of the existential themes that is it possible to do something just to do it without any predisposition or anything just out of radical freedom.

[00:11:15]There's was a novel by Kimu and what does he do? He pushes somebody off a train. He doesn't know. There's no reason for it. Just to be able to do an act that's that's not logical or just to show that radical freedom that that's not freedom at all. But anyhow, so this is one idea. Then you'll see so many different positions. Huh. Then the Sania position is also different. San position is that uh who is making a decision to do anything. It's the mind itself that everything oh where is my role in in action that some information comes in from the outside through the senses and uh uh the eyes happen to see a situation and it carries that to the mind and the mind will sort this whole thing out and say yes I see that uh someone has fallen to the ground and they should be picked up. The bi will say this is the right thing to do. Pick them up. And that'll send a message back to the mind. It'll send a message to the hand and we have we'll pick that person up. So where's the the agent? Where's the eye in all of this?

[00:12:30]Okay. Now, just a couple more things.

[00:12:34]Yeah, I just scribbled this things down a few minutes ago because it uh I I I find this a fascinating subject. See, there's no way to prove if something is free or not free. And even what does it mean? We make a decision to do something one day. Uh we can't go back into time and and uh with all the same circumstances see if we could have decided differently. We'll never know.

[00:12:59]But that also doesn't mean that it wasn't freely chosen. And even freely chosen it's just this is all question of degree. Okay. Now we have this other idea that uh yes I am the agent of action but I have the servant attitude. I have a strong sense of eye but I don't do anything with the selfish motive. I act only to to please hanaman only to to please Rama.

[00:13:29]So this is this is that other idea that I accept the fact that I do have an ego.

[00:13:36]I accept the fact that I make decisions that I'm responsible for my actions but I don't do it with any selfish motive.

[00:13:43]There's the servant eye. Taka likes this. He says this the highest one that uh I do only as as God makes me do as mother makes me do. That's that's restricted for someone who has transcended this lower ego who has no desires no selfishness that not for us.

[00:14:02]Now I'm going to mention just one other idea which I I think is very interesting and this is not from the vidantic tradition.

[00:14:09]There was a French philosopher that I referred to many many times because I studied him quite a bit in college John Paul Sartra.

[00:14:19]He he had this philosophy this idea of radical freedom.

[00:14:26]He he said we're condemned to be free.

[00:14:30]That means every decision that we make, we can't we can't let ourselves off the hook. No excuses, nothing. That no matter how much uh we're compelled to do something by authorities or or by uh by our past, our nature, by our desires, that ultimately it comes to the fact that we we could have said no.

[00:14:52]And this goes back to this uh really uh World War II and that that idea that the soldiers their plea was uh uh we only acted according to orders. And he said, "No, even if you you join the army and you're told that uh that now it's your duty. We tell you to kill somebody, you have to kill somebody, still you're responsible for that because you can always say no. Even if they say we'll we'll line you up and shoot you." That's a choice. Everything is a choice. So we get a little bit of this with uh with the yam nachika.

[00:15:27]Every moment we're faced with a choice between shreas and pus. It's up to us to to choose. Even if every tendency is saying do the easy thing. Every tendency is saying do the pleasurable thing and do the selfish thing and yet something within tells us better to share than to just take everything for myself that uh the is telling nachika that you have that option you have that choice you do that so so Krishna says that uh if we have this sense of I we have to take responsibility for our actions and mother herself self leaves this sense of eye in us. Otherwise uh we take no responsibility. We can we can blame circumstances for everything and uh we we cheat ourselves that way.

[00:16:23]There's some hypocrisy there because we all know that uh ultimately we should take responsibility for all of our actions even even if all of the other factors are there.

[00:16:39]these factors are there. Uh so these are all as I say either we can look upon these as as different philosophical understanding interpretations positions with regard to the question of free will or spiritual attitudes that we want to take the spiritual attitude of someone who says no I want to practice sharagati that I'll be like the kitten I'll rely 100% on the mother cat wherever she places me I'll be happy that's All one extreme other extreme no I want to be like Hanuman I can do everything anything in the name of of of Rama Swami G like that attitude yeah >> yeah don't you know who we are we're the servants of Krishna we can crush the stars to atoms we can unhinge the universe we can do anything in the name of so there's a very strong eye but it's not that this this rajasik or Thomasic So all of these are helpful. This is that type of ego that can be helpful for us. So this question uh of do we have free will or do we have no free will there uh uh ultimately from the very highest point of view if we if we really feel God alone dwells within. Yeah. Then that's a different that's a very high position. Otherwise we choose what what seems to work best for us.

[00:18:07]>> Do you have a question? Yeah, >> about that you know I am not the doer.

[00:18:11]We all know that we can't even move a finger unless God all that body itself doesn't function. We know it's God who is make facilitating every move of ours every action. But what do you exactly mean when you say that I'm not you know we are not the doers because we cannot do it ourselves. We must to do >> yeah so what does it mean to to feel I'm not the doer.

[00:18:34]>> Yeah. Either we have to feel really feel that this ego is just a phantom this sense of eye that I have is is just based on ignorance that God alone is dwelling within that I'm really just an instrument that that there's a hollow out inside like a puppet and some it is moving me inside like that really feel very difficult >> no we don't most people won't feel that of course yeah so this is why uh that attitude I do as you make me do can be the the height of hypocrisy.

[00:19:09]Yeah, we do whatever we want. We say God made me do it. So we have to be very careful about that. Now I want to get to one final point which I think at least for me solves this whole issue. This this term uh ka and aarta karta means two things. It means the agent of action and it also means the master.

[00:19:36]The master that means that I did it. It means this this pride and ego that accompanies it. If we can eliminate that. So this is how this hanuman how he can have a strong sense of himself as the agent and zero sense of himself as karta that Rama is the karta. He is the master. I'm the servant.

[00:20:01]So taking this this servant ego uh is is he's in karta from the philosophical point of view that yes I'm the one doing it but from this devotional point of view that I'm only the servant of Rama that that way of looking at it. All of these are meant to get rid of pride to get rid of pride and and that ego which represents an obstacle to us.

[00:20:28]For example, Swami, he didn't have pride, right?

[00:20:31]>> No, he didn't have pride. Yes, >> he didn't have pride. But he also made the statement that all that I've said that you agree with and you find it good was my my master's saying and whatever wrong or something that I should not have said, it was me.

[00:20:46]>> Yes.

[00:20:46]>> So why why did he have to say that then?

[00:20:49]because he had that humility and he knew and he knew that because he he didn't want to take that position that yes listen to me whatever I say you have of course he could do that with his own disciples but in in general uh he was explaining that yes I'm nobody compared to Krishna that uh that leave left on my own without him I can make a thousand mistakes I'm I'm I'm I'm human that I accept that fact we should all accept that fact. Yeah. So he had that that humility the same time he had that pride and he had that feeling that that yes we can do anything in the name of Shami Krishna he also had that tremendous humility really he he said that Shami Krishna the dust of the earth he could have made a thousand viveandas.

[00:21:44]So the big distinction between uh this this eye that says yes I can do anything in the name of Rama and this eye that has this blown up ego everyone bow down to me this and we have that whole chapter in Gita is not not this so I am Brahman but I'm lord I'm lordly everyone bow down to me that karta that type of ego that that's what has to be eliminated Yeah, talks about the fight against nature.

[00:22:20]>> Yes. Yeah. Good point. So this is the same we can say that uh yes why did I act the way that I did? It was natural.

[00:22:29]I acted it is natural that I'm hungry.

[00:22:32]It's natural for me to to want to have something to eat. So Swami G says just because something is natural doesn't mean that that you have to follow it.

[00:22:41]that spiritual life is fighting nature.

[00:22:43]So I I I don't know where I headed heard it but someone said once that free will is the ability to say no when all of our tendencies the psychological determinism everything is saying take it is there for for the offing it's there nobody's around to see that you take it no one will know that it wasn't take it yeah and that ability to say no it's not right I shouldn't do it now somebody can say that Well, that's your nature to to say that.

[00:23:16]Okay. To me, this is, you know, yeah, picking straws. This is not not so important that that type of distinction.

[00:23:24]But the but to be responsible people, to take responsibility for our actions as long as we have this sense of I and if we can reach that point where we practice shatonagati, this is also a wonderful thing. That means that uh I'll I'll I'll do as things come and present themselves to me. So uh we live in a world like the dried leaf. Wherever it blows us, wherever our past karma takes us, we go, we don't make a lot of decisions. We accept whatever comes. The very final stage. Yeah.

[00:24:04]So these are all all different ways of understanding this question of free will.

[00:24:10]If we think free will means whatever we want to do we can do. That's a type of bondage that if we if if we make all of our decisions based on just desire and what will be easy and help and and uh and pleasurable and everything that's no freedom at all what we call license a license to hang ourselves give enough rope to to hang ourselves. But this freedom comes this sense of freedom when we're free from the from the this kama croa all of these different things from from the different passions and we can m make decisions based on this idea of shas and not preas gives us some element of free will but ultimately we look back on our lives we see all the decisions that we made and we have to question could I have made a different decision at that time most of the time we'll we'll conclude that no if I had to live my life over without knowing what I know now. We always say if I only knew now then what I know now I would have acted differently. But if we went back and acted just the way we make the same decision is it's logical that way. But the difference is the the saint will make the same decision to save the scorpion. that doesn't mean that he's under that bondage of of psychological determinism as opposed to the scorpion.

[00:25:32]Okay. So let's uh this is all uh based on this one question. This younger narin was very clever young boy very funny also that but he asked a very very good question. It comes up many many times and Krishna he's very fond of this uh everything is your will but again this is two different things that I do as you make me do or you alone dwell within the body you alone are the actor he takitudes are different types so that's why I like this idea of spiritual attitudes find one that fits us there's no one abs absolute position that everyone will have to accept. They can defeat the others logically.

[00:26:24]So younger nut and sir have we any free will master just try to find out who this I is. While you were searching for I he comes out. So we find God dwelling within is he's making us go around in circles maya see Swami G he loved this idea of of freedom freedom freedom is in the self but he also loved that verse also he quoted it many times yeah that uh we may think that that we're acting with God do Dring within.

[00:27:07]He makes us go around in circles.

[00:27:15]Making us go in circles even as if mounted on a machine.

[00:27:20]But these are different attitudes if it's spiritual attitudes.

[00:27:25]>> But even in ethical moral life, it's life of freedom. It doesn't have to be >> ethical moral life is based on responsibility. Even the legal system in the legal system if if someone is is a child they haven't reached the age where they've developed this power of discrimination and they just do things they they won't be held to the same standard as an adult or someone who claim of insanity insanity means that I I really wasn't capable of doing anything else the inner voice was saying no pushing me they'll say the devil made me do and and the court will decide yes with that mental condition we can hold this person responsible for that action but for the ordinary people intelligent people and everything we're held responsibility in the legal system for all of our actions now there will be extenduating circumstances if if someone uh was brought up in a in a broken home and they were beaten as children all different things happened to them then it'll be an extenduating circumstance. Yes, we can understand why there was a greater tendency to to commit violence against somebody else.

[00:28:43]We'll give you a lesser sentence. So all of these things they go back to this idea of free will. If if we're so motivated or or impelled to act by past trauma, the strong some Scott is and everything then that impinges on our our free will.

[00:29:02]So okay so let's go on here.

[00:29:08]I am the machine and he is the operator.

[00:29:10]So quoting that rampad song. You have heard of a mechanical toy that goes into a store with a letter in its hand. You were like that toy. God alone is the doer. See very difficult very high position. Very high position. Uh it's also something like the sankiad the position.

[00:29:30]Then he says do your duties in the world as if you were the doer.

[00:29:36]So uh as long as we have the sense of I we can't take that other position then it becomes hypocrisy then then we can do whatever we want. Yeah. But there is that feeling how can you act if you feel you're not doing anything then how do you act >> as the wind blows as impelled for suramic Krishna he didn't decide to speak he said mother provides the words for me it was it was a living conviction and experience for him that he he felt at every moment that he was acting as mother made him act this is only god realized soul can be like that yeah >> realize They've already people how they they just leave it to God.

[00:30:23]>> Yeah. Many of them so there are some they don't even beg their food. They'll with many sadus you'll say what are you going to do next? I have no plan.

[00:30:33]Someone will come. I'm living in a garden. They may say one day you have to leave. I'll I'll walk in one direction.

[00:30:40]What direction? Uh it doesn't matter.

[00:30:42]Whatever I'm facing, God will take care of me. There are people like that. Yeah.

[00:30:47]Full dependence.

[00:30:50]Yeah. Full dependence on on on God. But yes, every once in a while we have to decide. Do I go north? Do I go south?

[00:30:57]Yeah. We we can't always expect God to come down and say now now do this and now do that. Yeah. So Shamak Krishna's case was was really uh practically unique.

[00:31:11]Maybe Ram Prasad had that feeling at times and everything but we we otherwise we always hear that and he always tells us that yes you have to do this you have to do that take a strong position do your spiritual practice all the strong sense of I until and if we ever reach that other point do your duties in the world So that means that you are the actor from that point of view. Yeah. Be the actor but don't do things whimsically. Do it as duty. Another another way of living. Do your duties in the world as if you were the doer but knowing all the time that God alone is the doer and you are the instrument.

[00:32:00]Yeah. Very dangerous. Unless the mind is pure.

[00:32:04]There are many people who will will say I'm doing as God made me do. Mind has to be perfectly pure. Ego has to be gone.

[00:32:12]Otherwise, impelled by what? We don't know. It's impelled by the devil, impelled by God, by our our lower these goonas and everything. Very hard. So, it's a very dangerous position that we know this has to be done because this is the will of the divine. We don't know the will of the divine.

[00:32:32]Now, on the other hand, we can say whatever takes place is the will of the divine.

[00:32:37]But even our bad decisions is very complicated the question.

[00:32:44]As long as the upati exists there is ignorance. Now upi has again philosophical meaning and and kind of emotional meaning philosophically physical body mind senses all of these are upis. Uh the other is uh this sense of who we are.

[00:33:05]So uh if I say that uh uh you ask me who who who are you and I say that uh oh I I'm a great scholar. I'm a philosopher. That's a type of if I say that uh uh I'm a happy person. I'm a happy golucky person. I don't bother too much about the type of if uh if we add something to our to our name. This is an uphhati. We get a PhD and now Dr. So and so we get MD. Dr. So and so that's an uphhati. All of these things are something a fixed to us which don't really belong to us. But give us some pride.

[00:33:48]Give us some feeling that now I'm somebody special that I have this upati.

[00:33:54]Yeah. You remember this Wizard of Oz.

[00:33:57]Yeah. uh how does he feel that uh that now uh he's an intelligent person and now he has a certificate he can show an upati it says yes doctor of philosophy yeah that's an upati from this point of view so what are these upadis as long as as the upadi exists there is ignorance I am a scholar I am a guani I am wealthy see I am a guani we very offend And yes, I follow the adant I'm this is ego thisi somebody says are are you an or you all of these things it's anati the only real answer is I am that or I am nothing I am the witness anything else is is a sense of identification even yes I am he is upati Unless it's out of realization. Unless it's out of realization. Tremendous pride in being a guani. Tremendous pride in being a bakta.

[00:35:08]Yes, I'm a worshipper of Shiva, a worshshiper of of of Krishna.

[00:35:14]Some of it is good. Some type of pride is good, but otherwise it's not. Is all preventing us from from thinking ourselves as I am the self. I am the witness of of all of this. I'm not his body mindset from that point of view.

[00:35:29]Everything else is an upazi.

[00:35:31]So uh I am a scholar. I'm a guani. I'm wealthy. I am honorable. Everyone should bow down to me. Everyone should show me respect. I am the master, father, and teacher. These were the three things that Taka couldn't bear. There's karta, baba, and guru.

[00:35:54]Why? Why didn't he like these things?

[00:35:56]Because if he thinks himself in those terms, then he's he's not thinking uh that who am I? I'm a child of the divine mother or I am the self. Now he's identified with this lower aspect.

[00:36:15]All these ideas are begotten of ignorance.

[00:36:19]I am the machine and you are the operator that is knowledge.

[00:36:23]So but but again we have to be very pure in heart. We have to eliminate every selfish motive for anything for in order to to feel that way.

[00:36:35]And for us how how do we how do we know what the divine will is?

[00:36:43]We can ask ourselves uh what would uh we have have our role models. What would these great role models what would tak swami g holy mother do? Uh this is very common in in Christianity. What would Jesus do? We want to decide what to do and we don't know what's the right thing to do. We don't want to base it on feel that I'm I'm making this decision. Then we say here's our standard. We have a pmana and we we test it against that and if that's uh uh what they would have done that's what we'll try to do.

[00:37:23]In the state of knowledge alladis are destroyed. So takur he's talking now from the point of view of the of the perfect guani and from the point of view of the perfect bakta.

[00:37:36]The bakta who the ego is just dissolved in love of god. And the guani who's who the ego is just I am that witness of everything.

[00:37:46]Yes, that conscious witness of everything and everything is done by these uphadi.

[00:37:53]In the state of knowledge, all uphades are destroyed. When the lak is burned up entirely, there is no more sound, no heat either. Everything cools down.

[00:38:03]Peace, peace, peace.

[00:38:07]Then takra says to Narendra, sing a little. Now we have to try to imagine the state of mind of of Narendra. Here everyone is so joyfully listening to Swami Krishna. There's a very sacred day that there's someone who's who will be there to sing kan and uh it's just such a wonderful occasion and his mind is racked with guilt and and and pain at not being able to provide food for his family who was starving after father.

[00:38:38]Terrible state of mind.

[00:38:41]that it is horrible and part of the mind of course will love the company of Swami Krishna and everything part of it will just want to run away and and he knows that many of the people there uh are now having a questionable view of him they're gossiping about him behind his back all of these things are there so you see the reply that he makes I must go home I have many things to do so a little bit of peak little bit Obimman there and uh perhaps he has things to do. He wasn't wanted to completely lie to just make something up but it's evident that it was nothing so pressing because he's going to stay ultimately now Krishna he also could have this little obimman he also could say okay you're too good for us you don't care for us that's all right hey leave so his reply will be like because he could he could have the attitude of a child sometimes we know that a child will have that type of attitude. So this this whole conversation is very interesting. I must go home. I have many things to do. Master. Yes. Yes. My childhu.

[00:39:54]Sometimes he'll refer to him. We know.

[00:39:57]Huh? Is that what he says?

[00:39:59]>> Bacha. Yeah. We know when he uses these terms bua something like that that it's okay. Okay.

[00:40:09]It's okay. I you don't have to be nice to us. We we understand you have better things to do and everything. So in that language but yes yes my child why should you listen to us and then he's he quotes from some saying the words of those who have gold in their ears are valuable no one listens to him who hasn't even a rag around his waist or laugh.

[00:40:36]So takur then you will see because these rumors were swirling that he's keeping company with other people this guo you got a bad reputation so all laugh and then tak says you frequent the garden house of the guas I always hear about it now most of the time takar is 100% defending this narendra I know this anad he's not a bad person that and and My narin could never do anything wrong. He always defends him. But now he's going to poke him a little bit.

[00:41:12]You frequent the garden house of the guas. I always hear about it. Whenever I ask, "Where is Narendra today?" I'm told, "Oh, he has gone to the Guas."

[00:41:22]I should not have said these things, but you have rung them out of me.

[00:41:30]Now Narendra the Swami Gi uh he was so good at at at uh at accepting these slight little mild scoldings.

[00:41:41]Most people would would really would be offended. Oh so you really think that like that then I'll leave. He was complete the complete opposite. In a second he can just say oh okay. Yeah. So the render kept quiet a few moments.

[00:41:55]Then he said there are no instruments to accompany me. Shall I just sing?

[00:42:02]>> So he's feeling a little bit guilty but he doesn't get angry. He doesn't get upset. He was free from that. Yeah.

[00:42:10]Yeah.

[00:42:17]Uh master again my child my child this is all we have please sing if it suits you. You must know how Balarama arranges things. Now again there's Balaram. There's a Balaram. I feel so sorry for him. He was such a good of course Takar praises him. He praises him equally but uh I tried to defend him last time. He's on a budget.

[00:42:43]His his family is very constantly looking to see how he spends his money and they're afraid he's going to waste all the money on takur and the devities and everything. He has to be a little bit cautious otherwise he's a tremendously generous and wonderful person but Takar likes to tease him also then we're assuming that Balaram is present while he's saying all of this it's in his house after Balaram says to me please come to Kolkata by boat take a carriage only if you must the boat was cheaper it'll be with a whole bunch of people and everything rather than a private carriage all laugh you see he has given given us a feast today. So this afternoon he will make make us all dance all laugh. One day he hired a carriage for me from here to Dakeneshwar. He said that the carriage hire was 12 honors.

[00:43:35]I said to him, will the coachman take me to Dueneshwar for 12 honors?

[00:43:41]Oh that will be plenty. He replied. One side of the carriage broke down before we reached all that. Besides, the horse stopped every now and then. It simply would not go. Once in a while, the coachman whipped the horse and then it ran a short distance. So, Sramak Krishna's peak was also just like that.

[00:44:05]Just this. Yeah.

[00:44:08]Joag, there's a line on the water or there's little water on the hot frying pan. It disappears like that.

[00:44:20]>> Besides, the horse stopped every now and then. It simply would not go. Once in a while, the coachman whipped the horse and then it ran a short distance. All that the program for the evening is that Rahm will play on the drum. He didn't know how to play the drum. He was just he was just learning to play dubla. He had hired somebody. He had some interest. It comes later. Yeah. uh and we shall all dance. Rahm has no sense of rhythm.

[00:44:45]Betal he used to say there are some people they're experts in in in lack of rhythm. How you say it? Olaf.

[00:44:55]Anyhow that is Balaram's attitude. Sing yourselves and dance yourselves and make yourselves happy. Olaf and he will find that narendra he doesn't leave. He'll still stay. Other devities were arriving. Mahendra Mukerji saluted the master from a distance. The master returned the salute. Then he salammed to Mahendra like a Muslim one.

[00:45:21]So probably he touched his head.

[00:45:23]Something like that. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:45:28]The master said to a young devity who sat near him, why don't you tell him? I have salammed to him. He will appreciate it. All that. Why he'll appreciate it? I have no idea why him specifically is a Brahman and debuty a little bit.

[00:45:46]Yeah, I know the Orthodox but you know standard why he he did it. He was in a in a very playful mood this day despite the fact that he's now having this pain from the throat.

[00:46:01]Many of the householder devities were accompanied by their wives and other women relatives.

[00:46:08]They wanted to salute the master and watch his dancing before the car. Ram Girish and other devities gradually assembled. Many young devities were present. Narendra sang. So now he's going to sing. Takar asked him and now he's going to sing.

[00:46:24]>> Even Pa was there.

[00:46:26]>> Porna is there. Porna they especially that Taco had asked somebody to go and bring porna. Yeah. So yeah Taco was very happy. A deputy brought porna from his home. This was the last week we read.

[00:46:42]The master claimed in ah here he is born has come and narendra sang.

[00:46:49]Oh when will dawn the blessed day when love will waken in my heart? When will my tears flow uncontrolled as I repeat Lord Huie's name and all my longing will be fulfilled?

[00:47:02]When will my mind and soul be pure? Oh, when shall I at last repair unto reindavin sacred groves? When will my worldly bonds fall off and my imperfect sight be healed by wisdom's cool calium?

[00:47:21]When shall I learn true alchemy and touching the philosopher stone transmute my body's worthless iron into the spirit's purest gold? When shall I see this very world as God and roll on love's highway? When shall I give up piety and duty and the thought of cast?

[00:47:42]When shall I leave behind all shame, convention, worry, pride?

[00:47:49]Oh, I shall smear my body then with dust from the feet of devities. Across my shoulder I shall sling renunciation's pack and drink from my two hands a calling draft of Yamina's life renewing stream. Oh then I shall be mad with love. I shall both laugh and weep for joy. Then I shall swim upon the sea of blessed such anand drunk with his love.

[00:48:16]I shall make all as drunk as I. Oh, I shall sport at Had's feet forever more.

[00:48:25]Sometimes we think that Narendra he'll only sing these songs Shiva songs and other songs like that.

[00:48:33]He had this tender heart also. He liked these songs.

[00:48:36]He sang again. See these songs they'll one after another they'll all have different moods to them and we'll see they'll be all these songs of the divine mother here they're pulling the chariot's mind everything fit together didn't didn't seem to matter to him so Nandra sang again in dense darkness oh mother thy formless beauty sparkles there's a dangerous song for taku therefore the yogis meditate in a dark mountain cave yeah taco would go in the samadi with this I think was also wrote this song but takar loved that song very be beautiful song Balaram had arranged for kan with the vaynav see he's not so cheap he's paying for somebody this vishnav is not the same vaynav of this this of this kartaja sect and everything so you said kanya He's he's uh uh comes very often. He's abroad with the devities. Uh I think that Rahm used to uh hire him to come and sing ken every day in his house during one period. So T know him very well is singing and do all this but equally he sings songs to to divine mother. He doesn't have any some of them would have a hesitation but this is uh this is the the the singer and not not the spiritual leader.

[00:50:17]So the he even makes that distinction.

[00:50:19]He said Balaram had arranged for kan with the musician of chan sang. So not the other version of Oh tongue. See he starts with a song to to Madura the day of the chariot chariot festival.

[00:50:35]Oh tongue always repeat the name of mother Dura. Who but your mother Dura will save you in distress.

[00:50:44]When Sham Krishna had heard a line or two of the song he went into samadhi.

[00:50:50]Now that means that this is a sincere soul. Some some of these kaneas would come and uh they they may be talented and everything but if he didn't feel that the bhava that emotion when they sang then it it wouldn't affect him this way. So the vashnav was a very blessed soul. Don't know much about him other than the that he was a very good singer.

[00:51:17]When Shramak Krishna had heard a line or two of the song, he went into samadi. He stood up in that ecstatic mood. The younger nutin supported him. The master's face was lighted with a smile.

[00:51:31]Gradually his body became motionless.

[00:51:34]His mind appeared to have gone to another realm. All the devities in the room looked at him in amazement.

[00:51:42]The women devities watched the scene from behind the screen. So there'll be some screen that's set up that'll that'll have gaps in it so they can easily look through it but they won't be able to see be seen very well from the other side.

[00:51:57]After a long time he came down from samati chanting the holy name of god as the master sat down vashnav chan sang again now get some of these krishna song oh vina sing lord's name without the blessing of his feet you cannot know the final truth the name of a hurry slay is all grief sing's name singrishna's name and then he sang Oh, forgetting to worship hurry, I pass the days of my life in vain.

[00:52:35]So anyhow, this kan goes on for some time and then there's a little gap. Then we we get back here. It was afternoon.

[00:52:44]So who knows perhaps m went went home and then came back again.

[00:52:50]It was afternoon. In the meantime, the small car of Jaganat decorated with flowers, flags and bunting had been brought to the inner veranda.

[00:53:01]So remember that the rooms are on the outside. There's an inner veranda and a big open air space there and you can look down and see the courtyard inside on the on the bottom bottom floor.

[00:53:12]The images of Jaganad, Subuhadra and Balarama were endor adorned with sandal paste, flower garlands, robes and jewelry. Swami Krishna left the room where the professional musicians were singing and came to the veranda accompanied by the devities. He stood in front of the car and pulled it by the rope. So this is this is the tradition that they'll they'll take it around and this is the uh that time period when in in Buddhi the image of Juggernaut that it comes out and they go uh I I read I read a little bit about it that it was supposed to be his aunt's house that they go to this for a short stay I forget nine days something like that then it'll be that the punar that they turn.

[00:54:11]So Krishna he stood in front of the car and pulled it by the rope. He began to sing and dance with the devities in front of the car. The master sang behold the two brothers have come who weep while chanting's name. This this is a reference to Goranga Nityanandha Chaitananya Deva and Nityanandanda. They weren't brothers.

[00:54:32]uh biologically they were like brothers he sang again see how old Nia is shaking under the waves of Gorang's love Nia's is no it's the colloquial name for it the music and dancing went on in the veranda as the car was pulled to and fro a large crowd entered the house on hearing the loud music and the beating of the drums The Sharak Krishna was completely intoxicated with divine love. The devities felt its contagion and danced with the master in an ecstasy of love.

[00:55:13]Afterwards, Shramak Krishna returned to the drawing room. M and other deities stroked his feet filled with divine fervor. The same Narendra who whose mind was in such a state he didn't want to stay had too many things to do this and that now filled with the divine fervor the render sang to the accompaniment of the tan pura so now there are some instruments because the the singer said come mother dah of my soul my heart's delight and my heart's lotus come and sit that I may see thy face. Then he sang again.

[00:55:57]We're back to songs on divine mother.

[00:56:02]Mother, thou art our soul redeemer. Now this Tomara that we know a special history to this song that when Kakur convinced the reendra to visit the Kali temple and to bow down to mother and and to ask for some help for his family and everything that he had that that ecstatic experience. He saw mother as as living. He he prayed to her for renunciation and devotion and everything that when he came back Takar taught him this song and that uh he sang it over and over again throughout the night. So when other people came the next morning he was sleeping. They were wonder why was he sleeping? Tak said he was up all night and then with a great smile he he accepted my mother. Oh he accept my mother Khali. So this is that same song.

[00:56:54]Mother, thou thou art our soul redeemer.

[00:56:58]Thou the support of the three goonas higher than the most high. Thou art compassionate I know who takest away our bitter grief. Sandia art thou and Gatri.

[00:57:10]Thou dost sustain this universe. Mother, the help art thou of those who have no help but thee, oh eternal beloved of Shiva.

[00:57:21]Thou art in earth, in water. Thou thou liest at the root of all. In me, in every creature, thou hast thy home.

[00:57:30]Though clothed from with form, yet art thou formless reality.

[00:57:37]He sang another song.

[00:57:40]I have made thee, oh Lord, the pole star of my life. Now, is is this uh rabbindat?

[00:57:47]>> Is it rabbindat? These are one of the very few songs, huh, that that tur that Narendra sings that we find in the gospel composed by Yeah, we were talking about that the other day. There may have been one or two others, but the very famous one and uh uh Tagore was probably just starting to to write songs for the Brahmo. At this time, he'll be uh 22 23 years old something like that.

[00:58:21]Yeah. Yeah. Before that was the main writer of the Brao songs.

[00:58:29]Anyhow, a very beautiful song. I've made thee, oh Lord, the pole star of my life.

[00:58:35]No more shall I lose my way on the world's trackless sea. Wherever I wander here, thy brilliant shines undimemed.

[00:58:43]With thy serene and gracious light, thou drivest all the tears out of my troubled soul. In my heart's inmost shrine, thy face forever beams. If for a moment even I cannot find it there, my soul is overwhelmed with woe. And when my witless mind strays from the thought of thee, the vision of thy face strikes me with the deepest shame.

[00:59:10]A devity said to Narendra, "Will you sing that one? Oh mother, thou my inner guide, ever awake within my heart." Now I don't know what it is about the song, but Takur is not happy with it. Yeah, master. Oh no, why that song now? The proper thing now is to sing of divine bliss.

[00:59:31]So yeah, I I'd have to know the rest of that song. A song like, "Oh mother shama, full of the waves of drunkenness divine."

[00:59:41]Narendra sang. So he knew the song. Oh mother Shama, full of the waves of drunkenness divine. Who knows how thou dust sport in the world. Thy fun and frolic and thy glances put to shame the god of love. Oh wielder of the sword. Oh thou of terrifying face. The earth itself is shaken under thy leaps and strides. Oh thou abode of the threeonas, oh redeemer, fearsome one, thou who art the concert of Shiva, many the forms thou dust assume fulfilling thy bakta's prayers. Thou dancest in the lotus of the heart. Oh mother, eternal consort of Brahman, full of divine ecstasy, Narendra sang again and again the lines thou dancest in the lotus of the heart, oh mother, eternal consort of Brahman.

[01:00:34]Shramak Krishna was dancing drunk with divine love and he sang again and again.

[01:00:40]Oh mother, eternal consort of Brahman.

[01:00:44]All divine mother, huh? On this day of the chariot festival after dancing a long time Sharam Krishna resumed his seat. He was very much pleased to see Narendra in his spiritual mood. How his mood changed? Singing with tears in his eyes.

[01:01:02]It was about 9:00 in the evening. The devities still sat around the master.

[01:01:08]Vishnavan sang about Goranga.

[01:01:11]The beautiful Godanga the youthful dancer fair as molten gold. Next he sang about Sri Krishna. Krishna had left his pastoral life in Reindavan and became the king of Matura. A gopy met him there and said, "Oh Har, how shall we know you now? In Mata's royal splendor you have forgotten us. Now in your kingly robes you ride an elephant. Have you utterly forgotten how in Reindavan you tended cows? Oh hi, have you forgotten how you would steal the butter from Raj's innocent gopy maids?

[01:01:50]About 11:00 the devities saluted the master and were departing one by one.

[01:01:57]Master you may all go pointing to Narendra and the younger Narin. It will be enough if these two stay. So he's staying the whole day to Giddish. Will you eat your supper at home? That means get lost. Will you eat your supper at home? You may stay a few minutes if you want to. His house is just down the street. You want to smoke, but Balaram's servant is just like his master. Ask him for a smoke. He won't give it or laugh.

[01:02:24]But don't go away without without having your smoke.

[01:02:28]Giddise had brought with him a bees spectacled friend. The latter observed all these things and left the place. As Shriak Krishna said to Girish, I say this to you and to everyone. Please do not force anybody to come here. Nothing happens except at the right time.

[01:02:47]Before leaving, a devity saluted the master. He had a young boy with him. And Shamak Krishna said to him affectionately, "Is it getting it is getting late and you have this boy with you?" Verendra, the younger Narin, and a few other devities stayed a while and then took their leave.

[01:03:07]So, this is the end of that day. Uh, we're stopping the middle of page 809.

[01:03:38]We bow our heads before Swami Krishna who is stainless of infinite nature whose heart melts in sympathy for his devities who is an embodiment of the divine and the supreme lord and ever worthy of our worship.

[01:03:54]Shanty, shanty, shanty. Peace, peace, peace be unto.

[01:04:01]Okay, thank you everyone. Uh, next Friday.

[01:04:07]Am I here? Next Friday.

[01:04:10]>> Next Friday.

[01:04:11]>> Huh?

[01:04:12]No, I think not. Anyhow, please check check the website. I travel I have a lot of trips next month. So to make sure if if we have class or not. I think I'm not here.

[01:04:28]Okay. Thank you all for coming and everyone stay well.