This video insightfully explores how earnest failure achieves a cultural immortality that polished mediocrity can never reach. It reminds us that a sincere disaster is often more intellectually stimulating than a calculated success.
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Most Beloved B-Movies Ever Made | Ep2Added:
It's about Lisa.
>> Don't be frightened.
>> No war hangers.
>> What's up, Vault Dwellers? Dan here and welcome back to the ultimate guide of Beov. Last time we waited through the magnificent misfires at the bottom of the pile. And if you miss episode one, it's linked in the description, but you don't need it to enjoy this video because each episode of this countdown, it stands on its own. Here's the thing about this batch we're tackling today.
These films, they're not just be movies.
These are the videos that became cultural events. People bring wire hangers to midnight screenings. People show up in bear suits with these things.
We're talking about the movies that proved being terrible. It could be a feature, not a bug. All right, let's check them out.
Starting us off is Death Bed, the bed that eats. And the title, it's the entire pitch of the entire experience.
So, there's a bed. It eats people. And that's about it. That's That's like the whole movie.
>> George Barry, he made this thing in Detroit on 30 grand based on a literal nightmare he had. And then it sat on a shelf for like 26 years because nobody would distribute a movie about furniture with an appetite.
Oh, >> if the bed will be too crowded, I could sleep on the floor.
>> Nonsense. There's plenty of room. I'm not going to have you sleep on the floor, Susan.
>> What's crazy is that Barry didn't even know his own movie existed in the wild.
Some shady distributor in the UK started pirating it on VHS back in the 80s, and it built up this whole underground following in Europe.
Barry only found out in 2001 when he stumbled across people online talking about his movie. The movie he made that he thought nobody had ever even seen.
>> There's no flesh left.
There's hardly any blood.
>> I mean, try and imagine that, right? The bed itself, I mean, it doesn't really do anything. It it just kind of secretes a yellow foam. It absorbs people while the ghost trapped in a painting narrates everything in this bored monotone.
>> Gently he brew through her hair, her mind, and her dreams.
For her seduction, he decided to create a bed unique for the occasion.
>> And you know what? I've been recommending this to people for like 20 years.
Oh, Mama. Oh, I see him alive.
All right, let's talk about Samurai Cop.
And you better buckle up because this gem that was made in 1991, it's essentially a religious experience.
>> Who's going to answer to Captain Roma on this?
>> You. [ __ ] man. You burn my ass.
You don't have to worry about that. It's already uh >> Yeah. Yeah. I know. It's already black, huh? The lead actor, Matt Hannon, he has hair that changes from his real long mullet to an obvious woman's wig from scene to scene because he cut his hair after he thought filming was done and then he got called back for re-shoots.
>> You got it. I'll see you back at your place.
>> They couldn't afford a matching wig, so they bought a ladies wig and they used it for this film. And there's scenes where the wig falls to the side and they keep it in the takes.
YOU KNOW, AND that's not even the best part. The whole movie is shot in daylight because they couldn't afford lighting for the night scenes.
And the actors, they're actually just wearing their own clothing and they drive their own cars. in the scenes.
Most scenes are single takes because there was just no budget to do another one.
>> Hey, look.
>> Police, don't move. You're under arrest.
>> Stop.
Get your gun.
>> Quick.
>> And the entire thing is dubbed by the director himself, modulating his voice to play different characters poorly.
>> So, THEY CALL HIM SAMURAI, HUH?
>> YES.
His real name is Joe Marshall. They call him Samurai. He speaks fluent Japanese.
>> I first saw this at a bad movie night in my buddy's basement, and we just had to keep pausing because nobody could breathe. Samurai Cop is A MIRACLE.
YOU SON OF A [ __ ] COME BACK HERE, YOU [ __ ] We're going to talk about Turkish Star Wars, but the actual title is The Man Who Saved the World, but you know, everybody just calls it Turkish Star Wars because it just straight up steals footage from Star Wars and uses it and is from Turkey.
Not inspired, not borrowed, I mean stolen. The director bribed a guard at a Turkish film distributor and copied a Star Wars print overnight. Then he spliced the space battle scenes directly into his movie.
The footage is in the wrong aspect ratio. So the Death Star, it kind of looks like an egg. And you know what?
That's just the beginning. The hero, he punches monsters made of stuffed animals.
He trains for combat by tying boulders to his legs and jumping.
The score that's Indiana Jones on repeat mixed a little bit with Battlestar and Flashcorded. None of it was licensed and none of it makes sense.
Here's the sequence where the hero he forges magical gloves and boots from a melted down sword and a golden brain.
You know, I'm not even embellishing here. I watched this on VHS bootleg I think in college and I could not understand a single line of dialogue.
and it still ended up being one of the most fun viewing experiences of that whole year. Turkish Star Wars is what happens when ambition has zero shame.
All right, let's tackle Shark NATO. You know, the film that broke the dam. So Sci-Fi, they have been cranking out cheap creature features like forever.
But this one hit at the exact right moment because Twitter was just becoming a cultural force and within hours of airing it, it became like a worldwide trending topic. Sharks, people who would never normally watch a bee movie. They were like live tweeting tornadoes full of sharks eating Terara Reed. The internet collectively lost its mind and for the first time ironic bad movie watching became mainstream entertainment.
UNBELIEVABLE.
>> NOW, I mean, here's where I get a little bit spicy. Shark NATO is on the list because it matters culturally, but not because it's like really good. Honestly, this is the part where the soul gets thin.
>> You okay? My mom always told me Hollywood would kill me.
The movies higher up on this episode were made by sincere weirdos who just poured their hearts into projects that just happen to come out wrong.
Shark NATO this was made on purpose to be ridiculous and you can feel that calculation in every single frame.
>> And it's heading on course through the valley and onto Vani. It's about to tear through the city of love.
>> It spawns six sequels, a franchise, and a whole subindustry of self-aware schllock. Now, I respect what it did. I just don't love what it did, but I can't pretend it didn't change everything. So, here it sits at 87.
Diary. Why don't you die?
Oh. Oh my god.
>> You [ __ ] This is murder. Murder.
You'll all be guilty.
And you're doing it for nothing.
Killing me won't BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMN HONEY.
>> WELL, NOW we're going to talk about Nicholas Cage in a bear suit punching women in the face. And that sentence is the entire movie and the entire reason it's on this list today.
>> What is it? What's wrong, sister?
>> Don't be frightened.
>> Go.
>> My name is Edward. I'm going to save you.
>> The 2006 Wicker Man remake takes one of the most chilling folk horror films ever made.
>> Oh god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
you know, the 1973 original with Christopher Lee and turns it into something so tonally insane that Cage himself has spent like the last 20 years claiming he totally meant to do that.
>> KILL ME.
>> I YES. I I think it's Yeah.
>> How'd it get burned? HOW DID IT GET BURNED? HOW DID IT GET BURNED? HOW DID IT GET BURNED?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> YEAH, SURE, NICK. Sure you did. Here's what you need to know about this film.
He punches multiple women. He kicks a woman and he screams, "Not the bees."
while bees are poured ONTO HIS FACE.
>> NO, NOT THE BEES. NOT THE BEES.
My eyes.
>> And did you know that scene, it isn't even in the theatrical cut. It's a deleted scene that escaped onto the internet and became one of the most famous memes in the movie.
The Razzies, they nominated Cage and his bear suit or worse screen couple. Yeah, and that happened.
>> Hello. Hello, Pete. Pete, help us. Help.
Please. Please help.
>> You know, look, I love Nicholas Cage.
I've defended him in dozens of conversations with people who just don't get him. But this movie is hilarious in ways that no committee on Earth could have planned. The bear suit alone earns the spot.
>> You're just going to take us to the mines? No.
All right, our next beautiful disaster is Battlefield Earth with John Travolta, who spent decades trying to get this movie made. This was his passion project.
>> Do you want lunch?
It's an adaptation of Elron Huard's Scientology novel about humanity being enslaved by aliens. I >> hate these puny undersized planets. The gravity is so different.
>> Well, one does get used to the human animals grossly undersized.
>> Travolta, he plays Ter and he's a 9- foot tall alien with dreadlocks, platform boots, and a laugh that sounds like a hyena being electrocuted.
The whole movie is shot at Dutch angles like every single shot. Like the camera operator was on a boat in a hurricane.
And this thing costs like $70 million.
Yeah. $70 million, right? for caveman humans throwing rocks at fighter jets and then they somehow learn to fly them in seven days using an alien learning machine.
>> Now the dialogue it's impossible. The pacing is so broken. The villain plot involves like smuggling gold by having humans dig it up.
>> There's no time. As soon as they detect the gold, the planet ship will know exactly what we're doing.
>> While everyone speaks in this overheated theatrical style that just has like no business existing in a sci-fi movie.
>> I was being trained to conquer galaxies.
>> To do anything less is a disgrace to my entire family life. Battlefield Earth is what happens when nobody on set has the power to tell the star, "This is such a bad idea.
>> Let's give this demon what it deserves and I destroy it."
>> It's the platonic ideal of an unchecked vanity project. And watching it is like attending an autopsy of someone's dream.
And I just totally love it for that. And I also totally love it for that alien tongue scene.
>> I am going to make you as happy as a baby psycho on a straight diet after bango.
>> This floor is ALREADY CLEAN.
>> FLOOR IS NOT CLEAN. LOOK AT IT. THIS FLOOR IS not clean.
IS CLEAN. IT'S ALL >> Did you know that Mommy Dearus was supposed to be a serious prestige drama?
So Fay Dunaway was campaigning for an Oscar and this film opened up to pack the ears of audiences just sitting in stunned silence at the depiction of Joan Crawford's alleged abuse of her adopted daughter.
>> Mommy, I look awful.
>> Yeah, I know you LOOK AWFUL. YOU BE QUIET. YOU'RE ALWAYS RUMAGING THROUGH MY DRAWERS TRYING TO FIND A WAY TO MAKE PEOPLE LOOK AT YOU. WHY YOU ALWAYS LOOKING AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR? WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT? TELL ME.
>> And then about 3 weeks into the run, somebody at Paramount realized everybody was just laughing. So they re-released the movie as a campfest.
>> You love it, DON'T YOU? YOU LOVE to make me hit you, Joan. Barbara, please. And the new ads even told audiences to bring wire hangers to the theater. The producers, they sued the studio over that. And that's how thoroughly this movie pivoted from drama to camp. And it's just all because of Fay. The wire hanger scene is one of the most quoted moments in like all of cinema.
>> What's wire hangers doing in this closet when I told you no wire HANGERS EVER?
>> She screamed herself. so horse during filming that she had to call Frank Sinatra for vocal advice. You know, she does this thing where she goes crosseyed at moments at peak fury and once you notice it, you can't stop seeing it.
YOU HATED ME. YOU NEVER LEFT ME. YOU NEVER >> YOU ALWAYS TAKEN TAKEN.
>> Christina Crawford apparently watched this movie and just wailed. They turned this into a Joan Crawford movie. And she's not wrong, right? Fay Dunaway delivered one of the most committed performances in film history and the world decided it was just hilarious and I respect every crosseyed second of it.
When you polish the floor, you have to move the tree.
>> If you can't do something right, don't do it at all.
>> I'm sorry, Miss Gruffet.
I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at the dirt.
Yes, ma'am.
>> They're eating her and then they're going to eat me.
Oh my god.
I'm not sure if you know this, but troll 2 has nothing to do with troll one or troll. There actually are no trolls in Troll 2. The monsters, they're goblins.
The town is called Nilbog, by the way.
It's goblin spelled backwards. And that's the level of cleverness we're operating at today. Are you nuts? He tried to turn me into a homo.
>> Would it be too hard if my father discovers you here? He'd cut off your little nuts and eat them.
>> An Italian director named Claudio Fragasso wrote this in broken English and refused to let his American actors fix the dialogue and directed the whole thing while just barely even speaking to them.
>> And you can't PISS ON HOSPITALITY. I WON'T ALLOW IT.
>> What are you going to do to me, Daddy?
tightening my belt by one loop so I don't feel hunger pains.
>> The cast was locally hired in Utah. The dad, he's actually played by an actual dentist. And that kid star, Michael Stephenson, he was so traumatized by being in this movie that 20 years later he made a documentary and it was called the best worst movie.
>> Dad stopped the car. Josh was ready to be eaten.
That documentary is essential viewing.
The cast, they go on tour. They attend soldout screenings. They sign autographs for fans that they didn't even know existed. Coffee. There's no coffee here in Ilb. It's the devil's drinks.
And for Grasso, he shows up insisting Troll 2 is a meaningful film about real social issues. I mean, he still doesn't get it. I mean, the movie has a kid peeing on his family's dinner to stop him from being turned into plant matter.
There's even a scene with a corn cob that I'm not even allowed to describe.
I have seen Troll 2 more times than I've seen my own wedding video.
>> Get out of here or you're going to be in a lot of trouble.
>> And remember, How was work today? Oh, pretty good. We got a new client at the bank. We make a lot of money.
>> What client? I cannot tell you. It's confidential.
>> Oh, come on. Why not?
>> No, I can't. Anyway, how is your sex life?
>> Okay, let's tackle the room. You know, this is a big one. The undisputed champion of modern bad cinema.
>> It's not true. It's [ __ ] I did not hit her. I did not. Oh, hi Mark.
>> Tommy, he spent $6 million of his own money from sources he just refuses to disclose to make a serious romantic drama about a banker named Johnny whose fiance Lisa cheats on him with his best friend Mark.
>> I want to give a second chance. After all, she's my future wife. You know what they say, love is blind.
>> And that's actually the whole plot.
Well, I mean, except it isn't because the movie also contains a subplot about cancer that gets dropped after like one scene. And there's a teenager who's somehow involved with drugs. Uh, there's a flower shop scene that becomes a meme.
>> Yeah. Can I have a dozen red roses, please?
>> Oh, hi Johnny. I didn't know it was you.
Here you go.
>> That's me. How much is it?
>> It'll be $18.
>> Go. Keep the change. Hi, doggy.
>> You're my favorite customer.
>> Thanks a lot. Bye. and a rooftop tossing the football routine that just defies physics. Tommy, he directed, he produced, he wrote, and of course, he starred in this thing. And he has never explained where his accent is from.
>> You betray me. You're not good. You You're just a chicken. Chip chip chip chip chip chip.
>> He's actually never even explained his age. He has never explained where the money came from. James Franco made an entire Oscar nominated movie called The Disaster Hardest about the making of this movie.
>> You can love someone deep inside your heart and there is nothing wrong with it. If a lot of people love each other, the world would be a better place to live.
>> And Tommy, he showed up at the Golden Globes like he belong there because at this point, he actually does. The room screams around the world like every weekend.
>> It's not over. Everybody betrayed me. I fed up with this world.
>> People, they dress up for this thing.
They throw plastic spoons at the screen.
They yell, "You're tearing me apart, Lisa." In unison, >> you are TEARING ME APART, LISA.
>> WHY ARE YOU SO HYSTERICAL?
>> It's a cult gathering disguised as a bad movie. There will never be another one like it. Maybe >> you can come out now, Johnny. She's gone.
>> In a few minutes, [ __ ] Who are you calling a [ __ ] >> You and your stupid mother.
>> One thing's sure, Spectre Clay's dead, murdered, and somebody's responsible.
You're in charge now, Lieutenant.
>> Yeah, guess I am.
>> All right, we're going to talk about like one of my favorite alltime movies, Plan N from outer space, because it's the granddaddy of all of them. And remember, my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.
>> Edward, he made this in 1959, and he used hubcaps for flying saucers.
>> People turning south from the freeway were startled when they saw three flying saucers.
>> He had a chiropractor with a cape over his face who was standing in for the deceased Bellow the ghosty. And the dialogue, it sounds like it came from aliens and zombies playing the telephone game together. Why is it so important that you want to contact the governments of our earth? Because of death.
Because all you of earth are idiots. Now you just hold on, buster.
>> Critics declared this the worst film ever made and would became famous because of it.
Tim Burton made an entire biopic starring Johnny Depp about Wood's life, and it's one of the most heartfelt movies about creativity I think I've ever seen.
>> We found a lot of suspicious things out in that cemetery. Then again, didn't find anything to base a fact or suspicion on.
>> Here's why Plan N sits at 81. This movie is like ground zero. Without plan 9, there is no room. There's no bird demic.
And there's no troll, too.
>> You see? YOU SEE YOUR STUPID MINDS?
STUPID. STUPID.
>> Ed Wood was the original sincere weirdo making a movie he believed in with whatever scraps he could find.
>> NO. STOP IT. TENNIS.
>> I CAN'T GET IT. IT'S JAM.
>> STOP IT. YOU FOOL.
>> DROP THE GUN TO THE FLOOR. TENNER. The metal will break contact.
>> Bel Losi died during production. So would he use silent footage he'd shot of the goi for a totally unrelated project, then had his wife's chiropractor finished the role with a cape pulled over his face.
The cardboard tombstones, some of them tip over on camera. And Ed Wood, he just loved every frame. That love is why we're still talking about this 65 years later.
>> I saw a flying saucer.
>> Saucer?
>> You mean the kind from up there?
>> Yeah, it counterpart.
It was shaped like a huge cigar. Dan and Ether saw it, too.
>> You know, these are the movies that proved bad, it doesn't mean forgettable.
Bad can mean beloved. Bad can mean immortal. And in episode 3, we leave the disasters behind and start digging into the deep cuts. You know, the hidden gems, the cult favorites that reward the curious viewer who's willing to dig past the obvious classics. If you miss episode one or you want to send a friend down this rabbit hole, all the links are in the description or they're about to pop up in just a second. Until then, keep it weird, folks.
>> Hey, preacher.
>> Yeah, >> you and I got nothing to do.
Let's [ __ ] >> Shut up.
>> Do you want me to order a pizza?
>> Whatever. I don't care. I already ordered a pizza.
>> You think about everything.
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