Tanjiro Squad & Hashira React to MOREPARZ Ocean Creatures #8

Added: 2026-05-29

[00:00:12][music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] >> Crocodiles are just dinosaurs that forgot to go extinct.

[00:01:23]I am dead serious and I cannot think of a croc species to better make my point than the saltwater crocodile. A species native to the land down under and shocking absolutely no one, yes, it can and will eat you.

[00:01:38]You see, keeping on theme with the whole forgetting to go extinct thing, the salty's stat spread just feels like something that should have been patched out with the rest of Jurassic Park.

[00:01:46]Starting with their ridiculous size.

[00:01:51]YOU SEE, SALTY'S are the largest reptile on the planet coming in at a total of six [ __ ] meters long with a maximum weight of 1,100 kilos, which makes this murder lizard genuinely longer than my [ __ ] car.

[00:02:07]And the [ __ ] up part is that despite being longer than my youth, they are for some reason absolute masters of stealth.

[00:02:15]You see, crocs are ambush predators, which is a scientific way of saying they are dirty [ __ ] campers.

[00:02:22]>> [music] >> You see, they've got two raised eyes that sit on the top of their heads, which means they can submerge their Ford Falcon-sized frame basically entirely under the water without sacrificing the ability to spot whatever they are looking to turn into a happy meal. And from your perspective, as the happy meal, they are really difficult to see, which makes it very easy to walk just a little too close and uh yeah, get bitten in half by that hydraulic press they call a mouth.

[00:02:51]>> That's why I >> [music] >> love messy crocs.

[00:02:55]That's right, just like any good camper, these scaly [ __ ] are packing a one-shot in the form of one of the highest bite forces of any animal on the [ __ ] plant. Having been recorded putting out a maximum of 3,700 PSI of force through their jaws.

[00:03:14]To put that into context, your skull will crack at 1,100 PSI, so a croc would pop your head like a watermelon.

[00:03:22]And if you don't immediately get folded by the first bite, those jaws will latch onto you as the croc begins a death roll, spinning its ton of body weight like a washing machine until whatever part of you it has decided to eat snaps off and is added to its protein goals.

[00:03:37]But the best thing about the crocodile is their build is so [ __ ] good. They have genuinely been around with very little evolutionary change for 65 million years, which means I grew up watching Steve Irwin wrestle dinosaurs for fun. Rest in peace, you absolute [ __ ] legend.

[00:04:02]>> [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] >> This is the world's oldest shark. We got a boomer. BUT HOW OLD actually is it?

[00:05:04]This absolute fossil over here is the Greenland shark. And this may come as a shock to you, but the Greenland shark is found in [ __ ] Greenland, MATE.

[00:05:17]AND WITH GRANDPA SHARK HERE COMING in at A [ __ ] HIDE YOU SIZE, 6 m in length, and a literal [ __ ] ton in weight, this senior citizen probably worked with Godzilla back in his [ __ ] DAY. BUT HOW senior is senior? Well, you might be expecting me to say something along the lines of, you know, 100 years, maybe 150 years, right? And I try higher. No, not 200. Mm, close, but not 300, either.

[00:05:43]>> Shark week. No, the Greenland shark can live up to 500 [ __ ] years.

[00:05:52]YOU KNOW I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND HOW old that IS. SO, TO PUT IT in perspective, this is Bob. Bob has just turned 500.

[00:06:01]Here is a list of things this has lived through. ALL EIGHT OF King Henry's divorces, the invention of chocolate.

[00:06:08]>> I remember when they first invented chocolate. Shakespeare's entire lifespan, the Boston Tea Party, THE SIGNING OF THE DECLARATION of Independence and the founding of the United States, the colonization OF AUSTRALIA, THE INDUSTRIAL [ __ ] REVOLUTION, THE INVENTION OF THE LIGHT BULB AND ADOPTION of electricity.

[00:06:28]The Titanic becoming a submarine, World War I, THE GREAT DEPRESSION, WORLD WAR II, THE VIETNAM WAR, the [ __ ] moon landing and the invention of the internet.

[00:06:41]The first EPISODE OF SPONGEBOB.

[00:06:42]SCHLATT'S crimes in '99. 2001.

[00:06:47]The invasion of Iraq, the global financial crisis, the death of Harambe, AUSTRALIA catching fire, the virus and it's still with us today to watch [ __ ] TikTok.

[00:07:02]>> [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] >> AUSTRALIA JUST FOUND A NEW SHARK. AND of course, being from the land down under, it's [ __ ] weird. Introducing the brand new Western Australian lantern shark. As the name suggests, discovered by a team of scientists off the coast of Western Australia.

[00:08:32]Now, as with the overwhelming majority of weird [ __ ] in the ocean, the Ozempic shark here is found in the deep sea, sharing a postcode with the anglerfish, that one xenomorph shark, AND UH NOW, DESPITE THE word shark making most people think of something a little closer in size to, I don't know, Bruce, Slender Man's fish sonar over here only grows up to 30 cm. This little guy shares a weight class with a [ __ ] foot long.

[00:09:09]But I mean, honestly, I still personally think 30 cm is way too big. He could be just as good as the other sharks if he was, you know, let's just say 3 in.

[00:09:18]However, other than being built like a fishy USB cable and owning a property in Rock Bottom, what makes him so weird? Simple.

[00:09:29]He [ __ ] glows. Thrown flash back.

[00:09:32]But [ __ ] why? Well, you see, these bad boys are found in the twilight zone of the ocean around 1.2 km below the surface. A place so [ __ ] far down it sees less sunlight than the INSIDE OF A GOTCHA addict's room.

[00:09:54]And so, lantern sharks evolved bioluminescence on their gills and fins in order to [ __ ] communicate with one another. The glow is the evolutionary equivalent of a [ __ ] indicator showing that a literal abyss shark is more intelligent than your average BMW driver.

[00:10:18]>> [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] >> Did you know that whales can explode?

[00:11:08]Yeah, these bad boys can turn themselves into an all-natural IED, but they can't explode on command like a creeper.

[00:11:17]No, in order to pull a wreck explode, it needs to be [ __ ] dead first.

[00:11:24]In fact, it's got to die in a very specific way. See, usually when a whale croaks it, that [ __ ] sinks like a stone and gets hoovered up by bottom feeders. But if it manages to wash up on shore or it dies by beaching itself, there's nothing to eat it. Now, what that house-sized corpse does do is sit there frying in the [ __ ] sun starting to rot.

[00:11:53]Now, a fun fact about rotting corpses, they go through this cool process called putrefaction. Basically, all the bacteria in your gut start to break down your flesh, which produces a [ __ ] load of different gases. And if nothing punches a hole in the whale, that gas has nowhere to go. So, the corpse begins to swell and inflate like a [ __ ] balloon. Oh, I didn't know I had that mod on. And it will fill with gas until its body can't [ __ ] take it anymore, at which point it basically becomes a [ __ ] boomer from Left 4 Dead.

[00:12:31]>> We got a boomer! The force of the gas can cause the skin to split and then freewilly explode all over the [ __ ] beach, but uh anyone touching it could cause it to explode as well.

[00:12:44]Which is why if you see a whale corpse on the beach, whatever you do, do not [ __ ] touch it. I I JUST TOLD YOU DON'T [ __ ] TOUCH >> [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] >> THIS crab is a boxer. What's your name?

[00:13:57]A crab.

[00:13:59]THAT'S RIGHT. STEPPING INTO THE ring at 0.15 g and a huge 2.5 cm in length, it's the boxer crab.

[00:14:12]You see, while most crabs use their pinchers to fight AND DEFEND THEMSELVES, THE BOXER CRAB HAS INSTEAD elected to spec into CQC [music] and uh throw [ __ ] HANDS.

[00:14:26]AND DESPITE their completely average and not at all small size, this [ __ ] fights in the heavyweight division, able to punch out hundreds of times its size. But how does nature's little Mac win the fights?

[00:14:42]Well, that's pretty simple. He [ __ ] cheats.

[00:14:48]YOU SEE, THOSE little pom-poms aren't a fashion choice. Those are both sea an- anemones. An- an- an- anemone. That the boxer crab holds in its claws to use as basically [ __ ] [music] brass knuckles. Now, they get these anemones by uh finding other boxer crabs who have them, jumping them, and then claiming them like they are a [ __ ] WWE title belt.

[00:15:12]Now, if you weren't aware, anemones are venomous plant-like animals that, in order not to get eaten, sting the [ __ ] out of any touches them. Boxer crabs are immune to that sting, but you bet your ass that everything that tries to eat the boxer crab isn't. So, the crab and the anemone enter into a symbiotic relationship, essentially becoming an aquatic venom with the anemone getting some of the crab's food, and the crab gaining venomous brass knuckles.

[00:15:43]So, whenever a predator gets in the ring with Crab Tyson here, he'll wait for it to get just within striking range, and then Mr. SQUIDWARD, I SHOULD TAKE YOUR