I have a test tommrow and my thoughts

Added: 2026-05-24

[00:00:00]Hey guys, I hope you're all doing well.

[00:00:01]Today was I don't know. I have a big test tomorrow and um I don't know. I haven't really been um working on it because I don't know. I've just been having I just don't have the time.

[00:00:15]And I don't know I mean I do I don't know like when I do have time I I just put it off because I don't know. It just feels really bad to like spend time on like like like I don't know. It just feels bad spending time on it.

[00:00:28]But I need to do it eventually. I I don't know. I just can't bring myself to do it.

[00:00:33]I know. It's kind of weird.

[00:00:35]But I don't know. I think I'm going to study for it a little bit um uh today because it's tomorrow so I might just stay up all night. I don't know. It's probably going to be really bad for me but I didn't study at all and I'm that's like my worst sub my worst worst worst subject, sorry.

[00:00:54]Okay.

[00:00:57]Yeah, okay.

[00:00:59]Okay, that's that shouldn't be.

[00:01:05]Wait, what? This guy's predicting me or something.

[00:01:07]Okay.

[00:01:08]Here we go. But yeah, I don't know. I just haven't been feeling like well or something.

[00:01:14]It's like it's really weird, right? Like whenever I like like I can't bring myself to do it. Yeah, I don't know why, right?

[00:01:21]One of the reasons I think why is because I'm I'm lonely, right? And when I'm lonely, right?

[00:01:27]I like to like not think. So that means like immersing myself in a video game or like reading reading or watching an anime.

[00:01:35]I'm usually uh I don't know. Today I just spent my day like uh reading manga. It's kind of funny.

[00:01:46]Um I don't know. It's pretty cool. I I like it. It It's like fantasy. It has the swords and stuff. I I I like it.

[00:01:52]It's really good in my opinion.

[00:01:54]I don't know. I don't know. I like it personally. And I found a pretty cool game, too. So, that's like really cool.

[00:02:00]I don't know if I should make videos on it though, because the game is a little um I don't know, like the game mechanics and how it plays, but like I don't know, I like I don't know how to explain it. I just don't like certain stuff about the game. Uh the game play itself is pretty cool. It's a little difficult. So, I'm thinking I don't know if I can like continue it because because >> [laughter] >> my life is difficult. I don't need a game to like be difficult for me, you know? But, it's pretty fun. If it gets like too difficult or whatever, I don't want to just quit.

[00:02:28]I don't know. Games like nowadays, dude, nowadays I don't know what what it is with games, but they have like um they have a thing where it's like, "Okay, guys, I want you guys to like Okay, no, sorry. What am I saying?"

[00:02:40]Basically, like some games have like this thing where they make you like force you to play, right? You're really like, "What What are you talking about, right? I play the game because it's fun, right?" And that's what you should do, right? You should play a game because it's fun, not because you're forced to like uh play the game, right? Now, what I mean is daily logins. Daily logins are like not like it forces you, like it makes you to have it into your daily life, which really shouldn't be a thing, right? You should play the game because it's fun, not because of like some daily login thing, right?

[00:03:09]I don't know. And then, another thing I realized is guilds. Like I don't know if guilds in video games is are like one of the I don't know, it's Okay, so like if you don't log in and you don't collect the guild requirement thingy, the guild check-in or that the guild loses points, right? So, it makes you feel bad for like not meeting the expectations of like your group or whatever. So, that's like I don't know, it's like kind of mean, you know? Like I There's a better word for it, but I I don't know. It But, it's like trying to like like um I don't know. I don't like like like the way it does it, it's just kind of evil, you know? Like I know this kind of I'm kind of like exaggerating a little bit.

[00:03:46]Sorry, my grammar and like my voice is feeling really really bad. I I know what's up. I I don't know, I just been I don't know.

[00:03:52]I just had a long I don't know. Like I like woke up pretty late and then no stretch I didn't do any stretches or anything. No workout. No no stretches, no workout. I didn't even work on my dreams.

[00:04:04]Um or anything like that. I I don't think I even I did play Oh yeah, I played I was playing the new game and then I I was reading manga.

[00:04:11]Um it helped with the loneliness. I'm not going to lie. And and the manga seems pretty well. I don't know.

[00:04:15]Sometimes you read like a manga and it's like the ending is like really bad.

[00:04:19]Dude, it's like No. No. No. Like it like I don't know. Also, I think my reading skills have been slowed down. And the reason why is because um it it's going to be it's this going to sound really silly, right? But back when I used to work, right? I had terrible internet um for my phone. And I would read a manga when there was no Well, well well when I wasn't busy, right? Bec- But because my internet was so slow, I had like when I was waiting for the pages uh to load and stuff like that. I uh I uh what do you call it?

[00:04:57]Well, because it was so slow, right? It didn't load. So, I would like reread over and over again the first parts of the Well, whatever the loaded was loaded Sorry. Whatever the loaded part of the manga was.

[00:05:09]And um yeah. I scoot over.

[00:05:12]And there you go.

[00:05:14]Don't look at me.

[00:05:17]Okay. Yeah, as I was saying.

[00:05:20]Um Uh Sorry. Dude, that that guy um made me lose my train of thought.

[00:05:28]What was I saying?

[00:05:30]Yeah, that that was like the main thing, right? Oh, and I'm sorry for uh yesterday's video. It turned out really glitchy for some reason. That's why I don't like Is this guy trying to climb?

[00:05:40]Yeah. Um sorry for yesterday's video. Um it was really glitchy for some reason. I don't know why.

[00:05:45]Thing is because um the video got longer than 15 minutes. Yeah, I think it's probably because of that and then I had to like I don't know, dude. Like it's just really annoying. That's why I try to keep my videos under 15 minutes and then yeah.

[00:05:59]Hopefully that doesn't happen again. I just don't like Plus I like like like having my thoughts between like two videos for like one like day. It's like because then people need to like go to one video and the second one. It's like I don't know. I I'd rather have everything like one video, you know? But like I can't make videos longer than 15 minutes which is like I don't know. It's weird. But I can upload three 15-minute videos a day which is like what? Just let me upload like a video more than 15 minutes. I don't know. But they both it it has it has both its pros and cons, right? Because if I if I can upload three minutes three 15-minute videos a day, that's like, you know, I can talk about three different topics. But usually all my topics are like I don't know. Like I like jump from topic to topic to topic, you know? That's like me.

[00:06:43]Um I don't know. I just, you know, like whenever I just have a random thought I'm like, "Wait a minute. I'm going to talk about that." And then I talk about that, right? Um yeah.

[00:06:55]I don't know though. I just I don't know. Yeah, I I don't know if I've told you guys, but yesterday was not yesterday. I think it was the day before.

[00:07:02]Probably yesterday. The day the day before the day before Sorry, like three days days three days before.

[00:07:09]Dude, I can't remember.

[00:07:10]I I think it was Sorry, I I literally don't remember what what day it was. But the day I was I took the test, I actually studied like three days before.

[00:07:18]Like three days a little bit every day.

[00:07:21]Which is pretty insane because that was like the first time in my entire life that I ever studied, dude. Because um I don't know why. I had this silly thought. Okay, this is going to sound extremely silly, right? I mean I think I have silly thoughts like like right now too, but this is like extremely silly.

[00:07:37]So um my perception of myself, right? So Sorry, I'm I'm going to try to not use complicated words, but like the the thing I'm thinking is like too complicated for me to understand, so it's like I don't know. Uh basically, um myself, right?

[00:07:52]I don't know why, but when I was younger, I had this sense of self that I wasn't smart, right?

[00:07:57]And if I'm not smart, well, if I became smart, I would no longer be me.

[00:08:02]And it's like, what? Like, I don't know why I had this silly thought.

[00:08:06]Because in my head, it made sense because I am a not a smart guy.

[00:08:11]But and if I change that, right? If I became smart, then I wouldn't be me anymore.

[00:08:16]I'd be me who's smart, which is different from the me who is not smart.

[00:08:23]I don't know. I just That That was like so silly. Like, I I could have had much better grades and stuff.

[00:08:29]I don't know. That was like such a silly thing I did. I don't know. I still I mean, I still don't like studying. Like, I really don't. Like, I'd rather spend that time on like my dreams.

[00:08:37]And you might say, "Well, did you spend your time on your dreams when you had the time?" And the thing is, I I really want to spend my time on my dreams, right? Because that That's like That's what I like Like, I'm here for, you know? That's what I'm here for, right? That's what I'm That's what I That's That's literally like That's That's what I do, right? That's my thing.

[00:08:55]Um but like, I I don't have time or energy or the creative element because like creative stuff, dude. And in my opinion, creative fields like art um I don't know why my school doesn't have art for some reason. It's like really weird. Like, dude. Like Like, think back on history, right? Who do you remember? I'll tell you what I remember, right? Oh, sorry. I'm sorry if that sounded a little passive-aggressive. I I don't want to be mean to anyone. Sorry.

[00:09:18]Sorry, that was kind of I don't know. I I don't want to sound like mean to you guys. Sorry about that.

[00:09:23]But basically, the people who I remember back in history are the artists, right?

[00:09:28]The painter, the inventor, the Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, all the painters were actually like painters.

[00:09:33]Also, when you When I hear When you see the The artist nowadays, it can be like for anything, right? Like a singer. I like to call myself an artist. But it's like I don't know. Like, sure, but like, you know, when when I think of an artist, like I think like a drawing drawing artist, you know?

[00:09:49]Like a or a painter. A painter is like I'm also an artist and a painter.

[00:09:53]I don't know. But you guys, if you want to call yourself an artist, I think it's, you know, fine.

[00:09:57]You guys are pretty kind to me. But, you know, also I really like how we can like disagree, you know? Like, for me, right?

[00:10:05]I feel like like um one of the disagreements that I think we we we have like between me and you guys, the viewers, is that Wait, hold on. Let me write this real quick.

[00:10:15]I think I have coconut juice. Ah, I already wrote that yesterday. Um well, my mom had another coconut juice today.

[00:10:20]Um I don't want to write that. Oh, and my mom made tofu for me today. I'm going to write that.

[00:10:27]Mom made tofu.

[00:10:30]Also, I still have the mushrooms for that like a long time ago. So, I ate that, too, and it was like so good, dude. And green beans. Green beans I don't I don't really like green beans, but like when I mix the green beans with the mushrooms, they're pretty good.

[00:10:43]Green beans. No, no, my mom made me tofu.

[00:10:46]Yeah, and tofu is like pretty tasty. So, tofu um I had some I had that with the green beans and mushrooms, dude.

[00:10:52]Delicious. Abs- great. I love that. It was really tasty. And I still have My mom got another coconut juice. When the mom My mom got me coconut juice, it was two coconut juices.

[00:11:01]So, I have two coconut juices, and I one of them I it's it's it's finished. I have one left.

[00:11:06]And I'm going to go eat that after I make after I finish uploading this video. What was I talking about?

[00:11:11]Dude, ah I forgot what I was talking about.

[00:11:14]Sorry, give me a second. What was I thinking about?

[00:11:19]Dude, it was such a good topic, too.

[00:11:20]Sorry. Ah, I literally forgot.

[00:11:28]No way, dude. That was such I'm I'm pretty sure that was a pretty good topic, too, that I was thinking about. I don't know what I was talking about.

[00:11:35]Uh it feels bad.

[00:11:37]Give me a second. I will come back to me. Um Oh, right. Disagreements. Disagreements.

[00:11:41]There we go.

[00:11:43]My bad. Sorry. Okay. So, one of the disagreements that um me and you guys have is that I believe that money is a very, very, very important thing. One of the most important things o- over everything, in my opinion, right? Um in my personal opinion. Y- You guys can disagree. And like I think it's important that we have discussions. Like we Like as long as we can we can listen to each other and like have like conversations. As long as you listen to each other, you know? Like I don't know why, but like grown-ups I see like grown-ups they like have like a discussion, quote-unquote discussion, and then they're just like speaking over each other and they're not letting or hearing the other person's thoughts. And it's like, "Dude, what?" Like that's not how you do a discussion, right? You're supposed to listen to what the other person says. And like actually like listen, make counterarguments. I don't know. I I don't really like doing stuff like that because um I don't know. I don't want to be mean and like I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

[00:12:33]But, you know, yeah. So, as I was saying, um I say that, but I want But I don't know. This one this thing is kind of interesting to me, right?

[00:12:40]Right now, I'm not doing well, right?

[00:12:42]Financially or like not even like financially, just like in general, I'm not doing well. And I know that there are people like rich people who are who are rich, but they're not also doing well. Like it could be like a mental thing or something. But, I would ra- much rather be in a place where I'm rich and not doing well, right? So, it's better to be Like right now, I'm like I'm not doing well, and I'm also not doing financially well, right?

[00:13:04]I would be in a much better position if I was doing financially well and then not well like in the personal life, right? I feel like that would be a lot better, you know? Because then you don't, you know, I don't have to worry about like like food, um uh uh extra stuff. I can afford therapist without worry, eat whatever I want. I'm talking about like rich rich, like not like, you know, you know, like I can like look at something I can have it, right? Just thinking about something I could literally have it, right? I'm talking like like that kind of rich, right?

[00:13:34]Um I don't know.

[00:13:36]But I don't know. It like that's what that's what I mean, right? Like like by the way, feel free to disagree with me.

[00:13:42]I I encourage you guys to disagree with me, right? I encourage you guys to have critical thoughts and like think and disagree with me, right? And I will read them, but like, you know, I I I'll like talk about them like in the next video because I don't really like um uh like replying because like online like in texting stuff well, even like with this like how I respond to you guys like there is still room for like human error for like misunderstandings, I feel like. Um even like I don't know. I just feel like sorry, it's like my like the words I use, the tone I use, the different life experiences I have.

[00:14:18]Um those play a big part in like how people like perceive me, right? Like like I could like use, "Hey, how you doing?" And then someone else will think, "Wait, why are you being mean?"

[00:14:28]Like you know what I mean? Because I don't know. It's like super weird. Like I don't know. I had a I don't know. I'll tell you guys next time if I remember, but basically someone got angry because I said, "Hey, how you doing?" And I'm like, "What?"

[00:14:39]Like what? Like and you guys might be thinking I'm joking. Like there's no way someone just got upset because he said that. I'm like, "No, someone actually got upset." But I'll tell you guys that about that another time, but yeah. Um it's getting to 15 minutes, but yeah.

[00:14:49]Thank you guys so much for watching this video. Um Sorry for the lag on the other last video. Um Yeah, and uh thank you guys so much for watching and supporting my videos and uh you know, commenting and all that. I'll see you guys in the next one. Have a good one. See you guys. And I'll see you guys tomorrow. Have a good one. Thank you guys so much.