Nick Kroll, Our Symbiotic Friend

Added: 2026-05-07

[00:00:04]Is my face dirty? Huh? I >> have dirt on my face. I don't know. Is it the ranch all day? Um.

[00:00:10]>> Mhm.

[00:00:10]>> Ever take you out to the ranch?

[00:00:12]>> No, you never you've never taken me to the ranch.

[00:00:14]>> Oh, nif would love it.

[00:00:17]>> Today. Today.

[00:00:19]>> We may need to cut this episode short because it's a little bit of traffic this time of day to get to the ranch, but it's worth it.

[00:00:26]>> Yeah, >> it's it's VR.

[00:00:28]>> Hey, man. He's kidding. It's a virtual reality.

[00:00:30]>> It's a It's a virtual reality ranch.

[00:00:32]>> Yes, >> dude. You guys did Westworld, but life.

[00:00:35]>> So, Westworld is not that.

[00:00:38]>> It's not a ranch.

[00:00:40]>> It's from the West, >> but it's not VR. Virtual reality is a completely different concept from Westworld. People do say this, >> I'd appreciate if you could help get out there now that you've been Now that you've been educated >> that virtual reality. I did not want that to be what the episode was. But this is going to take us all the way to the end.

[00:01:05]>> I'm really sorry to bring it up. I didn't mean to stir the stir the bonnet right away.

[00:01:10]>> Well, let's do it now. You you started explain it.

[00:01:13]>> Westworld takes place in meat space.

[00:01:16]>> Even though some of the characters, some of the personalities in the experience are cybernetic.

[00:01:22]>> Sure. Virtual reality takes place entirely on the computer plane.

[00:01:29]>> The digital is a helmet.

[00:01:32]>> Is it a helmet driven experience?

[00:01:33]>> It is a helmet. Thank you for understanding that because some people say goggles.

[00:01:37]>> No.

[00:01:37]>> No. This is a full a full immersion >> shoulder to hair >> helmet >> lowered down like a Joan Cuz in a high school movie like >> broken Yeah, that's the halo and the neck brace and everything. Yes. Yes.

[00:01:55]Yes. Yes.

[00:01:56]>> It's like you're on the ranch. And then you're on the ranch. And what's the vibe on the ranch, >> dude? There's ice cream.

[00:02:04]>> Mhm.

[00:02:04]>> Mhm.

[00:02:05]>> There's >> infinite ice cream.

[00:02:08]>> Bottomless.

[00:02:09]>> Bottomless troughs of ice cream.

[00:02:11]>> And I eat it bottomless.

[00:02:12]>> Oh yeah, I bet you do. I got off my ranch. That's the vibe in the ranch.

[00:02:16]>> At the ranch, there's no rules. Bears, puppies, and kitties. Yeah.

[00:02:20]>> Like that's what we're ranching for the most part.

[00:02:23]>> You're ranching puppies and kitties. You heard puppies and kitties.

[00:02:25]>> Kitties. Yes. Um >> so it's a puppy mill. Is that what we're talking about? Is this a puppy mill that you guys are running?

[00:02:31]>> Puppy mill in a sense like a it's the same as like a cereal mill for puppies.

[00:02:37]So it is a >> it is a puppy mill in that >> like a cereal mill. Oh like like the ear the real versions of the ancient grain of cereal.

[00:02:46]>> You break them down into their like component.

[00:02:48]>> Yes. parts. It's VR. It's virtual reality.

[00:02:52]>> So, you are milling when you So, when the puppies are being >> there's a mill stone >> and and they're pulverizing the puppies.

[00:03:00]>> No, cuz that would be like that wouldn't be as useful for like you just break them down so you can separate the little like parts out the like the parts that you need. You don't want them like What would you do with pulverized means turn to dust? Yeah, you could make I guess my question would be sludge in this case.

[00:03:16]>> It would be more like what are you going to do with the sludge?

[00:03:20]>> Drink it. I guess >> I guess you drink it.

[00:03:23]>> You drink the puppies.

[00:03:24]>> We got to get you We got to get you out here.

[00:03:26]>> You've got to get >> got to get out the You got to get out to the ranch.

[00:03:29]>> You got to get out to the ranch. We take turns.

[00:03:32]>> You would love it.

[00:03:34]So like But yeah, go crazy now.

[00:03:36]>> Yeah. Me intrigued.

[00:03:38]>> Ice cream is so good. The ice cream's in the helmet. and and and ver sorry I know I know we want to move on but and virtual reality is different than augmented reality >> augmented reality >> reality has been augmented >> visual onscreen experience >> replicating >> what meat spacehu >> the world that we move through >> but injected with Pokemons >> oh >> yes >> that's the augmented reality stuff so it's right Yes. Hitmonchan is there.

[00:04:12]>> Mhm.

[00:04:12]>> That's one of the Pokémon.

[00:04:14]>> Yeah.

[00:04:14]>> Mhm.

[00:04:15]>> Hitmon Lee is there.

[00:04:16]>> Did you guys get to talk >> both there? Yeah. Psyduck's there.

[00:04:19]>> Did you guys get to talk to Ryan Reynolds when he was doing Detective Pikachu Press? Did he come through?

[00:04:25]>> Uh yeah. So that episode still has not released. We have a little bit of a background. That one we are Well, he's >> something of a riff man. So there's a lot of good runs in there and it's kind of picking and choosing cuz we do have to hit our target.

[00:04:43]>> Yeah. And so but that one Yeah.

[00:04:45]Obviously he did sit down with us and we haven't released it yet, but Ryan was here and uh you know a fun project and he was fun talking about it although we couldn't keep him coralled into just that. He hit on every topic you could imagine.

[00:05:00]>> Yeah. from pissing to [ __ ] to uh having sex to, you know, soccer, football, you know, um news to killing someone, drinking gin, you know, uh and everything that he brought up. It was like, oh, this he's an expert on. Oh, now this he's an expert on. And it became like, >> no, his mind holds the entire universe at once, and he's just sort of funneling it down to me.

[00:05:29]>> Yeah. So then choosing the clips has got to be challenging.

[00:05:32]>> It's really been a slow process. Even understanding the clips for me has been >> Well, so like I wanted to talk to you guys about your clips.

[00:05:38]>> Yeah.

[00:05:39]>> Okay.

[00:05:39]>> Cuz I'm, you know, not super familiar at this point. But >> with the show, >> you'll go before you go on a show, you'll do a quick clip check.

[00:05:48]>> I'll do a quick clip check.

[00:05:50]>> See what am I in for? And what's my following in for?

[00:05:53]>> Will I be co-posting?

[00:05:55]>> Yes. Yes. Will there be a collab at the end? Except a collab would be so big for us, you know, because we, you know, we count on that to sort of break containment. Of course, our audience knows us already, but your audience, Nick, >> you check with your social media liaison to say, "Is there an opening to and I've and he your team, they your team has been in >> your team has been in quite regular contact about the clips and what and collab and inviting inviting a collab and will Nick accept and can you know will he?" Yeah, we like to get some sort of assurance before we even find what the clip is, you know, >> before we want to talk to you.

[00:06:38]>> Yeah. And I and I but I respect that about you guys. You guys are really straightforward.

[00:06:43]>> We try to be above board where it's like um you know, obviously we want to promote your stuff and you got so much good stuff, but we also do see it as an opportunity for everyone to benefit in terms of our stuff getting seen.

[00:06:56]>> Sure. Sure. I mean, that's the beauty of it. It's a give and take. It's a collaboration.

[00:07:00]>> It's symbiotic.

[00:07:01]>> Totally. Yeah.

[00:07:02]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:07:03]>> Sucking >> the succubus of it all.

[00:07:05]>> Sucking on Yeah. Sucking on, you know, >> sucking on the teeth.

[00:07:09]>> I'm sucking on your ass, but I'm cleaning stuff out of it, too. You know, you guys are ass for you.

[00:07:15]>> Thank you. You guys are a couple human barnacles. Butt. Butt barnacles.

[00:07:20]>> Yeah. Lamprey.

[00:07:22]>> Mhm.

[00:07:22]>> What's that?

[00:07:22]>> Raora.

[00:07:23]>> Lampray.

[00:07:24]>> Uhhuh. Is that kind of like in the stingray family?

[00:07:27]>> Bird.

[00:07:28]>> Yeah. A what?

[00:07:29]>> Little tick bird.

[00:07:30]>> A little tick bird.

[00:07:32]>> Park myself right up there on your ass.

[00:07:34]I'll take that.

[00:07:35]>> I'm lurenicus right on top.

[00:07:38]>> And are you giving stuff in? Are you just sucking out or are you putting stuff in the system too?

[00:07:42]>> We know what we're doing up there.

[00:07:45]>> You don't up there. We know exactly what what we're doing. Don't you worry about positively glowing. Can I say like if I if you guys embed into me, is it best to smoke you out? Is it best to scoop you out?

[00:08:01]>> Smoke us out.

[00:08:03]>> Hey man, I didn't know it was that kind of episode today.

[00:08:06]>> You're over. You can smoke us out.

[00:08:07]>> You can smoke us out.

[00:08:08]>> Jeez, 420 was a week or two ago, but uh I can make an exception.

[00:08:15]>> N we're having fun for reals.

[00:08:17]>> No, don't touch us at all while it's happening. Do not do not even acknowledge that we're there physically touchur pushing. Do not do anything.

[00:08:28]>> Don't let us go all the way through. If you pull us out when we're halfway in, you don't know what we're going to take with us.

[00:08:33]>> I'm uh Okay, good to know.

[00:08:39]>> Nick.

[00:08:40]>> Mhm.

[00:08:41]>> Roll. It's time.

[00:08:43]>> Close.

[00:08:45]>> A roll for you.

[00:08:46]>> Okay. A Nick roll.

[00:08:48]>> Your most challenging one yet. Mhm.

[00:08:50]>> yourself.

[00:08:51]>> Yeah.

[00:08:52]>> But >> we have to we have to stop thinking.

[00:08:56]>> Come on, man. You guys got time to set the table.

[00:08:59]>> We have to we have to stop pretending.

[00:09:02]>> Come on.

[00:09:03]>> It's time for you to take over Jimmy.

[00:09:08]>> Nick at night. Nick at night.

[00:09:10]>> Take over Nick at night. As >> No, >> do both. Or I call the I take over late night and I do I call it Nick at night.

[00:09:17]This guy's radioactive.

[00:09:19]>> THERE'S NO TELLING WHAT HE'LL DO NEXT.

[00:09:21]>> I >> YOU'VE GOT TO STOP IT.

[00:09:22]>> HE'S A GODDAMN ticking [ __ ] time bomb, Nick. And it's only >> We're ALL IN THE BLAST RADIUS.

[00:09:28]>> WE'RE BOMBING AWAY from him TAKING US DOWN WITH HIM.

[00:09:31]>> YEAH, >> he's willing to say anything. We need a Trump positive TALK SHOW HOSTED BY NICK CRAWL STAT.

[00:09:38]>> Nick at night. It's playing off the nostalgia. We do have It'll be for Paramount Plus.

[00:09:43]>> Got to be >> because they own the underlying rights obviously. So, it's exciting to think about that collaboration.

[00:09:48]>> Oh my god.

[00:09:50]>> It would be really I'm It would be really exciting for me.

[00:09:52]>> What a superpower. It's all going to be one company soon anyway.

[00:09:55]>> It's all It's this And this is going to be a comics unleashed also.

[00:09:58]>> Yeah. What we're doing is we're buying local markets and it's an interesting This is actually what I wanted to talk to you guys about.

[00:10:07]>> Here we are. I hate that. Here we are.

[00:10:10]Right here. Can you bud? Let's talk about local market purchasing of ad time. And it's what? And finally, let's talk about Byron. Let's talk about Byron.

[00:10:19]>> Finally have the Byron.

[00:10:20]>> Let's talk about Byron.

[00:10:23]>> Genuinely. Can we talk about Byron?

[00:10:25]>> The segue, man.

[00:10:26]>> Yeah. Right.

[00:10:27]>> Well, exactly. Now, I feel like you guys get a lot of what you do from sort of having watched a lot of Comics Unleash.

[00:10:36]>> Steal from the great >> and we watch it. And how do we watch it?

[00:10:40]like everyone else on TV. No, we are paid audience members. That is our main job for Comics Unleash. And so then you get to watch not only the comedy but all the rehearsals as well.

[00:10:54]>> Yeah. Watching Yeah. do their routines over and over again.

[00:10:59]>> Oh yes.

[00:11:00]>> See them explain the routine to Byron.

[00:11:03]the way that he introduced it the first time actually did not set up what they were going to do and some other ways he could maybe approach it. And >> so you guys must be super interested in how he's he's basically just leasing the time that that 11:30 slot on CBS is now just going to be leased out to Byron Allen >> and and he's buying up local markets >> and then he sells ads to >> products based on unspecified animals.

[00:11:31]>> Yes.

[00:11:33]pulverized puppies per chance. Hey, if someone were to get into that business should be someone with a little experience, right?

[00:11:41]>> I look the other way.

[00:11:43]>> And that's because you have trouble making eye contact.

[00:11:46]>> I'm uh struggling with that my whole life, Nick.

[00:11:55]>> We're 13 minutes in. Almost 13. We're 13. 13:30 in.

[00:12:00]>> Bam. We hit the 13:30 mark.

[00:12:03]>> So, uh, you know, with Ed probably about 10 minutes of content.

[00:12:07]>> Yeah, that felt like about 10 minutes of content and three minutes of >> Yeah.

[00:12:11]>> just fun for the boys.

[00:12:13]>> Mhm.

[00:12:13]>> Some of that stuff's just for us.

[00:12:15]>> Would >> So, we make money coming and going on this thing.

[00:12:18]>> Really?

[00:12:19]>> Yes. Because also, of course, all the comics are paying to be on the show. And when we say paid audience members mean we pay you pay to be in the audience, >> course. And so everything is monetized.

[00:12:31]>> I I benefit so much and you know with something like Comics Unleashed, I do want to see how the sausage gets made.

[00:12:39]>> Sure. Well, you love the process and you're But you don't really you're not doing too much comedy yourself at this point.

[00:12:46]>> So I have stopped um not because I was unsuccessful, though that didn't help.

[00:12:55]Um I have stopped because I found a new passion. Mhm.

[00:12:59]>> And that of course is >> promoting you and your brand.

[00:13:05]>> Thank you.

[00:13:05]>> And your show.

[00:13:07]>> Sure.

[00:13:08]>> You you're new. You're into manage. You guys are managing now.

[00:13:11]>> I'm not asking for a percentage yet.

[00:13:13]>> If you like what I do, prove your worth.

[00:13:16]>> If you feel like Yes. Like uh your visibility has been improved.

[00:13:20]>> We don't work in like contracts and like sign your name.

[00:13:24]>> Don't sign this little kind. That's not our business.

[00:13:28]>> If I need to compel you with some piece of paper to keep working with us, then I haven't done my job correctly. I actually want you to be excited to cut me a check at the end of the day where you go, well, this guy earned this because like my value will be far greater than the 20 25% that I'm taking.

[00:13:43]>> And I'm very happy with my management, >> uh, my representation.

[00:13:47]>> Everyone says that at first.

[00:13:49]>> Um, but I would love to hear where you see me in five years.

[00:13:53]>> Okay. Um, Hayes, you want to take it away?

[00:13:59]>> I'm just saying what I saw. I'm just saying what I saw. Okay.

[00:14:03]>> Mhm.

[00:14:04]>> You You prompted me. I had a vision.

[00:14:07]Dead on the surface of the moon.

[00:14:10]>> Right.

[00:14:10]>> Lying dead, completely undisturbed.

[00:14:13]There's no erosion.

[00:14:15]>> There's no wind up there.

[00:14:17]>> Eyes exploded out of your head.

[00:14:19]>> Okay.

[00:14:20]>> Peacefully dead. Peacefully.

[00:14:22]>> Peacefully dead. Decomposition not really an issue.

[00:14:25]>> Gravity, no gravity.

[00:14:26]>> Face frozen in a scream.

[00:14:28]>> Sure.

[00:14:28]>> Right.

[00:14:29]>> But big >> cavities in the skull where the eyes used to be >> otherwise very peaceful.

[00:14:35]>> Huh.

[00:14:36]>> Yeah.

[00:14:36]>> Honestly could be much worse. So >> I mean the serenity >> the surface of the moon.

[00:14:44]>> I should tell sorry I was you did look very peaceful but you're you're kind of touching your >> I'm touching my >> your area. Yeah.

[00:14:53]>> So, I'm screaming, >> face frozen in a screen >> kind of exploded >> on the moon holding my dick.

[00:15:03]>> Both hands cuped around. Yeah.

[00:15:04]>> No. Yeah. Just kind of like around the area zone. Yeah.

[00:15:09]>> You didn't get there in time is what it kind of seems like happened.

[00:15:12]>> Uh, ultimate. The ultimate goon.

[00:15:17]>> There was time now, right?

[00:15:19]>> Goon on the moon.

[00:15:20]>> Goon on the moon.

[00:15:20]>> Goon on the moon. That was the name of what we were trying to make when something went wrong.

[00:15:24]>> Well, that's my movie about Jim Carrey making Man on the Moon is me playing Jim Carrey making the movie.

[00:15:32]>> Mhm.

[00:15:32]>> You are playing Jim Carrey making the movie Man >> playing Andy Coff.

[00:15:40]>> You're playing Jim Carrey playing Andy Cau.

[00:15:43]>> Yes.

[00:15:44]>> Playing Tony Clipton.

[00:15:46]>> Telling his manager that he doesn't that he's never seen him before. Yes. Yes. So >> that's if that's what 5 years >> seeing a plane and screaming because he thinks that planes weren't around >> in the 1970s.

[00:16:03]>> Yeah. Yeah. That's the idea. And because you didn't see the original movie. I did not. But I saw I heard people talk about the documentary about Jim Carrey making the movie. So mine is based my our movie will be ba our movie if you guys are willing to engage.

[00:16:20]>> I like to think of it that way as ours.

[00:16:23]>> Great. Yeah. Well, if you want to be my manager, you know, get involved.

[00:16:27]>> Yeah, I would like >> and he doesn't need You say you're happy with yours.

[00:16:31]>> That's there's a lot of room in there in the tub. You know what I mean?

[00:16:34]>> Why shove them aside?

[00:16:36]>> Sure. Sure.

[00:16:36]>> Uh it could be a great collaboration.

[00:16:38]You got 45 like 55% left >> to go around. Like let's all let's eat.

[00:16:45]You know what I mean?

[00:16:45]>> Let's all Yeah. Let's all Let's all come to the table.

[00:16:49]>> I'll do it, too. [ __ ] it. You're in.

[00:16:51]>> I'm in. I'll get in there, too.

[00:16:53]>> Richie, you want a slice of this?

[00:16:54]>> Yeah. Count me in.

[00:16:55]>> Okay. Richie's in.

[00:16:56]>> All right. Great.

[00:16:57]>> Richie's a [ __ ] killer.

[00:16:59]>> This guy's a [ __ ] animal. He's psychotic.

[00:17:03]>> Honestly, I'm going to get cut out of the deal. I know it. I shouldn't have invited Richie because that's how cutthroat this son of a [ __ ] is. But while I'm there, Ooh, the Eaton's going to be good.

[00:17:12]>> You know what? You know what his full name is?

[00:17:14]>> Who?

[00:17:15]>> Richie. We were just So, we were just talking about Richie.

[00:17:18]>> Richie.

[00:17:19]>> So, that's Richie right over there when we were saying he's a killer. He's a [ __ ] animal.

[00:17:23]>> I'm sorry. I should have mentioned I have full goldfish. Goldfish.

[00:17:26]>> Goldfish.

[00:17:29]>> Goldfish.

[00:17:30]>> Goldfish.

[00:17:31]>> I have goldfish brain.

[00:17:32]>> Oh my god.

[00:17:32]>> They're different than goldfish brains.

[00:17:34]Goldfish. This is goldfish for us.

[00:17:37]>> Goldfish can at least swim.

[00:17:38]>> Well, goldfish it was a it's something it happened to a Austrian man in 1913.

[00:17:43]>> Sure. Yeah. Goldfish.

[00:17:44]>> Yeah. Adolf Adolf Goldfish.

[00:17:46]>> And >> unfortunate. At the time they call it Goldfish instead of Adolf.

[00:17:53]>> Yeah.

[00:17:54]>> So that's Richie. So yeah. Who's Richie?

[00:17:57]Richie is the guy over there.

[00:18:00]>> Oh, okay. Oh, hi. And >> sorry, I have a gold first spray. Oh no.

[00:18:05]>> Uhoh. Yeah, >> we liter We just had >> Well, it's proof positive. Yeah, because if it's >> the condition presented to us and it's on his shirt and it's nice.

[00:18:16]>> Just a tiny bit. It's not >> It's not a nice shirt. It's like you knew you were going to spill.

[00:18:21]>> I think that might be a Filson.

[00:18:22]>> I wish it were a Filson with bizarrely off sizing.

[00:18:26]>> Go to Filson. Get a small that's bigger than all of your other shirts somehow.

[00:18:30]>> That's how it works at Filson sometimes.

[00:18:32]Really?

[00:18:32]>> Wilson's a unique sizing brand.

[00:18:35]>> I love that.

[00:18:36]>> Do you guys ever like wearing green or blue? Either of you?

[00:18:40]>> Either green or blue?

[00:18:41]>> Yeah.

[00:18:42]>> Don't make me pick.

[00:18:44]>> Are you You have >> He's actually wearing both today. And I'm wearing blue right now.

[00:18:48]>> Mhm.

[00:18:48]>> Mhm.

[00:18:49]>> That's so crazy that you would say that.

[00:18:51]We're actually wearing those colors right now.

[00:18:54]>> Yeah.

[00:18:54]>> Today.

[00:18:55]>> Well, maybe everybody brings a little something to the table.

[00:18:57]>> Yeah. His name is >> Richie.

[00:19:01]>> Wait, who's this? This that's Richie.

[00:19:02]His name is Richie Sambuka.

[00:19:04]>> Mhm.

[00:19:06]>> Like Richie Sambbora, but it's >> But it's about >> But it's Sambuka. And so people think when he like enter like when he comes to the negotiation table, people think like >> it's party time. Richie Sambuka's here.

[00:19:18]>> Yeah.

[00:19:19]>> But >> yeah. And is that guard throat?

[00:19:23]>> Can I ask is that your maiden name?

[00:19:24]>> M. Yes, >> that is his maiden name.

[00:19:27]>> Mhm.

[00:19:27]>> Interesting. Richie Sambuka. He has kept his maiden name for business purposes.

[00:19:32]>> Speaking of maiden names, maiden season.

[00:19:35]>> Look at that.

[00:19:36]>> Maiden season.

[00:19:38]>> You know, we do have a job to do here.

[00:19:40]>> 21 minutes in.

[00:19:41]>> We only have We got one shot at this.

[00:19:43]>> Yeah. The way we cut it, it's going to feel like >> 16 minutes.

[00:19:48]>> Mhm. It's going to be 16. It will feel like >> So, we've cut another two. It'll feel longer. Yeah.

[00:19:53]>> Mhm.

[00:19:54]>> But, uh, >> mating season.

[00:19:55]>> Mating season.

[00:19:56]>> Mhm.

[00:19:57]What the heck are you up to this time, Nick?

[00:20:01]Sometimes >> they let you They let you take another bite at the apple. I haven't seen you for a minute. Sometimes I go, "Uhoh, >> watch out.

[00:20:09]>> Something's coming for me."

[00:20:11]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:20:12]>> What? Blasted in the torso with a comedy cannonball in the sky.

[00:20:17]>> It's Some of it goes a little blue. How do you guys feel about blue stuff?

[00:20:20]>> Oh my god. I >> I'm actually wearing it right now. I I'm wearing the color. And by the way, if you're talking about getting a little dirty, I love talking about that stuff.

[00:20:30]>> Yeah.

[00:20:31]>> Oh my god.

[00:20:32]>> Yeah.

[00:20:33]>> Sex.

[00:20:34]>> You can say whatever you want.

[00:20:35]>> Can you Yeah.

[00:20:36]>> Crazy.

[00:20:37]>> Yeah. Do you have all of George Carlin's stuff memorized?

[00:20:41]>> Obsessed. Obsessed. And I don't consider I consider >> And we will do them on here. We will do them on the seven. He's going to do them right now. He's going to do all seven.

[00:20:52]We've done it before.

[00:20:54]We'll we will we'll do it every episode.

[00:20:56]>> I say them I should be allowed to say them.

[00:20:59]>> I should explain why it's actually like good to say them and then when I'm done with that little modern man.

[00:21:06]>> Mhm.

[00:21:07]>> Little bit of modern man.

[00:21:08]>> What about modern mammals? How do you guys feel about Pete Holmes' shampoos?

[00:21:11]>> We never talk about it on this show.

[00:21:14]>> And so Pete talk every episode. We don't talk about that. We don't talk about magic mind. Me bringing up his ads which are they even ads? They feel so native to the content they exist in that I I can't quite tell. But that's not something we've touched on before. Just like somehow isn't hitting my algorithm.

[00:21:33]But explain it to me. It's >> But you can better than another guy.

[00:21:38]Some friend of his maybe.

[00:21:40]>> He's been on that since college. He's been on that tip.

[00:21:43]>> Modern mammals.

[00:21:44]>> Yes. Really?

[00:21:44]>> Shampoo that is pulverized. It's dust.

[00:21:47]>> Mhm.

[00:21:49]>> And you don't use it in the shower. You just put it dry.

[00:21:53]>> Oh, it's a dry It's like a dry shampoo.

[00:21:55]>> It You just put it >> and it's pulverized. You got to go outside.

[00:21:59]>> You got to do it outside.

[00:22:00]>> Do not do it in the house.

[00:22:02]>> Okay.

[00:22:02]>> Go outside. Don't even do it on the property.

[00:22:05]>> Really? Get off the property before you do. You're going to want a little bit of space.

[00:22:10]>> Yeah. In in in the in the public right of way.

[00:22:14]>> Uhhuh.

[00:22:15]>> In the street. Do it in the street.

[00:22:16]>> Do you need a magic mind, by the way?

[00:22:18]>> Uh, I would love one.

[00:22:19]>> You know about this stuff?

[00:22:20]>> Yeah. Uh, tell me about it. What's the deal with Magic Mark?

[00:22:22]>> Green tea.

[00:22:23]>> Yeah, that's it.

[00:22:29]Basically, >> pretty much.

[00:22:31]>> Yeah. Would you drink blue tea? Cuz I You like I know you like green tea.

[00:22:35]Would you drink blue tea?

[00:22:37]>> Blue tea?

[00:22:38]>> What do you have in mind?

[00:22:40]>> You know what I want? Would you guys drink like high tea? Would you Are you guys doing a lot of testosterone right now?

[00:22:46]>> Drink pure tea.

[00:22:48]>> Yeah. just like so >> gelatinous tea in its natural form.

[00:22:54]>> For me, what I found is that straight through >> the host is rejecting >> the tea and >> it's like an elevator shaft.

[00:23:04]>> I I have not falls right out. It doesn't want to be there.

[00:23:08]>> I have not found the correct delivery system yet, but everything so far Yeah.

[00:23:12]I haven't Oh my god.

[00:23:15]>> Oh my Jesus.

[00:23:17]Yeah.

[00:23:18]>> No, it >> it's a thicker It's a thicker dosage.

[00:23:23]>> Okay.

[00:23:23]>> So, you But so you can you can do like an injection of >> an injection.

[00:23:28]>> But it's a at least the stuff that I'm that I'm pedalling.

[00:23:31]>> Yeah.

[00:23:32]>> It's thicker.

[00:23:33]>> Okay. Well, that could be good for me. I I'll try basically anything. I've gotten none all over the place.

[00:23:40]>> It's kind of my own personal testosterone.

[00:23:42]>> His cats are walking around all beefed up.

[00:23:45]>> Mhm. Yeah. because they're just, you know, behind me eating it off the ground. Comes [ __ ] tumbling out of my [ __ ] and my cats are >> and they look good or they're jacked.

[00:23:55]Are they happy? How are they doing?

[00:23:56]>> Their jaws got a little big.

[00:24:00]>> Yeah. Big old jaw. Yeah.

[00:24:02]>> And they do a sort of meal plan or like what are they doing? They just >> cuz they got to get their calories if they're going to build muscle.

[00:24:08]>> Oh, yeah. No, they're they're doing all kinds of different like body weight exercises. Are they with each other or what's their what's their relationship?

[00:24:16]>> They are all to Yeah, they're all with each other.

[00:24:19]>> Yeah, they're with each other. Yeah, >> that's really beautiful.

[00:24:23]>> Some of the some of the in some directions it's not going super well right now.

[00:24:29]>> How so? Is it Are you having trouble with either of them or >> I'm having trouble because I am no longer sort of in charge of the household. I have no testosterone. They have to testosterone. Were you saying so I thought you understood they're all with each other.

[00:24:44]>> No, I get that. So I'm I didn't want to cuz you know him better. Like I that was my feeling what you were implying but I wanted confirmation that you're feeling a little like xed out like you've been sort of boxed out a little bit cuz they're more of like a butler figure for the hot cats who were kind of just >> running rough shot over me. Yeah, >> that's what I I I didn't want to pry but that's sort of what I >> It's fine. It's fine. I talk about it on the show. You know, the hot testosterone cats in my house that kind of started [ __ ] each other's brains.

[00:25:17]>> Yeah. They're [ __ ] like crazy having sex.

[00:25:19]>> That's what I thought you meant. Like they're always Yeah. I mean, that's part of it. Like Yeah.

[00:25:23]>> And I just got to watch and if I even go if I even try to touch myself.

[00:25:28]>> Yeah. They get they get Well, cuz they still have You didn't declaw any of them so they can come right at you.

[00:25:33]>> Yeah. They go ahead and swipe at me and No, no, no. Sorry. One second.

[00:25:38]>> Um, >> are you He's the only person who like the text get through.

[00:25:43]>> That's the kind of beauty if you figure out what like a Rick but >> he wants me to say dude gets no [ __ ] about Sean cuz cuz it's cats.

[00:25:50]>> Richie Sambuka [ __ ] burn.

[00:25:53]>> He's a [ __ ] killer. I'm telling you.

[00:25:56]Just like a shot of Sambuka. It's sweet going in, but it burns when it gets down to the belly.

[00:26:03]>> Yes.

[00:26:03]>> Yeah. It stinks. But you're going to have a heck of a time.

[00:26:06]>> Yeah. It's fun. Lose your inhibition.

[00:26:08]Yeah. Would you ever let Richie Sambuka be the bartender at the ranch?

[00:26:13]>> That's so interesting. The bartender right now, >> that might be an issue because he is >> currently a ghost in the machine.

[00:26:22]>> Okay.

[00:26:23]>> So, he's not he's not in the programming.

[00:26:25]>> Gotcha.

[00:26:26]>> Right.

[00:26:26]>> Enough said.

[00:26:27]>> He said Yeah. So, Nick is done listening to what you're saying.

[00:26:33]>> Enough said. You said >> finally >> at last.

[00:26:39]>> Yeah, >> I can I can die.

[00:26:42]>> Yeah, just ease into the end.

[00:26:44]>> Oh god.

[00:26:45]>> Eyes closed. Explod it out of your face.

[00:26:48]>> Thank you.

[00:26:50]>> Gripping yourself, screaming into oblivion on the surface of the moon.

[00:26:54]>> I've been waiting for this for so long.

[00:26:57]>> Enough has been said.

[00:26:58]>> Right. Anna Con. I thought when she was here I thought we were almost got to the to the end.

[00:27:03]>> We had Ana Con a couple weeks ago.

[00:27:06]>> Sorry. I DIDN'T MEAN TO LIKE >> It's like sometimes guests are weird about us talking about other guests.

[00:27:10]You're you're confident enough.

[00:27:12]>> No, I mean I asked about Ryan.

[00:27:15]>> Uhhuh.

[00:27:15]>> Like I'm uh I'm pretty happy with where things are.

[00:27:19]>> Yeah. So >> with good cause. Yeah.

[00:27:23]>> Yeah. Mating season.

[00:27:24]>> Yeah. Mating season. The cats are having sex. the some of what's happening on your show. It's animals.

[00:27:30]>> Well, ironically, you know, there it's all about animals living in the woods, dating >> Zach Woods.

[00:27:37]>> Zach Woods.

[00:27:39]>> Wow.

[00:27:39]>> Uh June, Diane Rafield, Sabrina Jalis.

[00:27:42]>> Uhhuh.

[00:27:42]>> Uh um Nick Croll.

[00:27:46]>> I >> got a little taste for daddy, right? You got to, you know, put something on.

[00:27:51]>> It's not a charity organization.

[00:27:53]>> That's right. That's right. That's absolutely right. It is not a charity organization.

[00:27:59]>> This is a forprofit enterprise.

[00:28:01]>> Mhm.

[00:28:02]>> Okay.

[00:28:03]>> Yeah. It's, you know, it's not called Show Charity.

[00:28:08]>> Oh, that's a really beautiful idea, though.

[00:28:13]>> Show charity would be really nice.

[00:28:16]>> That'd be awesome.

[00:28:17]>> It's not a show business. It's a show.

[00:28:19]>> We're just like we're just like giving it away.

[00:28:21]>> Yeah. And you go begging to like various people to be like, "Can you please please please just give us money to do this?" You get nothing.

[00:28:30]>> Nothing.

[00:28:31]>> We're just on TV. Please just give us an exorbitant amount of money in the human experience. Has to make it worth our while obviously to do, but a show charity organization like that >> could really be something >> or any overages, you know, we donate together. anything anything that's left over. But like also we should probably put it back in the show.

[00:28:53]>> Well, I need a little taste for me.

[00:28:55]Yeah. And obviously we I mean if you're giving money at all, you probably want that to end up on screen at least in the pockets of the people on screen for the >> Right. And it's because you got to fly him in. He's got to you fly him in from Montana.

[00:29:07]>> Yeah, exactly.

[00:29:08]>> But he's the best. Keith is great. He's really I mean the voice obviously is incredibly special but his on >> screen part's bad but you don't like at least like a like >> as a voiceover artist you don't like him.

[00:29:20]>> No, >> not for me.

[00:29:24]>> Mhm.

[00:29:24]>> Hot take.

[00:29:26]>> I think it's great. It's like >> just don't feel it.

[00:29:28]>> Just talk.

[00:29:29]>> I guess because I'm I guess cuz I'm in >> feels fake, >> you know. I guess cuz I'm I'm sort of I live in the animation space.

[00:29:36]>> Uhhuh.

[00:29:36]>> Mhm.

[00:29:37]>> Mating season.

[00:29:38]>> Yeah. etc. >> Um, I think about voices like I really when I hear a voice I'm like is that a voice that >> I also spend almost my entire life on an animated ranch so you act like you're the only one.

[00:29:52]>> Is it animated or is it virtual?

[00:29:54]>> 100% cool world style.

[00:29:57]>> The puppies and kitties are cartoons.

[00:29:59]>> Animated. Oh, >> it's like the aristocrats are there basically.

[00:30:03]>> Okay.

[00:30:04]>> Yeah. Do you guys talk about the um the aristocrats on here? That >> the joke >> we say it at the end. We don't talk about it until the very end.

[00:30:12]>> We do the joke. The last like nine or 15 minutes of every episode is us doing the aristocrats joke. And um you know, we take bits and pieces of all the We try to always make it fresh, but we also do borrow from all of the different comedians in the documentary who told >> Do you guys miss Gilbert?

[00:30:30]We were just >> I don't have a chance to because I'm engaging with his content so often. I mean I >> you're just engaging with his content. I >> I do think that you aren't actually gone if people are still >> watching you >> watching and listening and thinking about the work you created.

[00:30:48]>> I think that's kind of what is behind the concept of fame.

[00:30:52]>> Everyone dies twice, don't they, Nick?

[00:30:55]>> How so? Well, once when you're on the surface of the moon, hands reaching for your, you know, area, you know, just screaming and your eyes exploded.

[00:31:05]>> And then again, the last time someone clicks stream on mating season, >> that's when you die, they completed.

[00:31:14]That's the second time.

[00:31:15]I don't know if you guys are completion rate heads, but I would love to just talk >> quickly about just getting make sure and really activating our audiences to for completion.

[00:31:26]>> How many do you really need?

[00:31:28]>> Yes.

[00:31:28]>> What like what are we like let's compromise.

[00:31:30]>> Give me a three-day and give me a 26 day target.

[00:31:33]>> Okay. Well, let's say it's on Netflix.

[00:31:35]There's like I guess like what do we how many subscribers on Netflix now this these days? Like 300 million subscribers worldwide something. I think if we got like 296 million households watching >> watching the whole thing.

[00:31:49]>> Well, that's the thing. There's going to be a drop off.

[00:31:51]>> So, like let's say at least >> what's the moment that we're thinking that is going to >> I mean I guess there's a moment where uh Sarah Silverman as a skunk expresses her anal glands all over me.

[00:32:01]>> Okay.

[00:32:02]>> And we end up in a I'm a raccoon. I'm a dirty little raccoon and we end up in a copulatory tie.

[00:32:08]>> Mhm. So, I think there might be certain markets >> inside the skunk's uh vagina.

[00:32:13]>> Yes. Exactly. It's >> Yeah. But it's really like it's like it's a one night stand.

[00:32:18]>> Mhm.

[00:32:19]>> That doesn't end.

[00:32:20]>> So, forced to actually deal with some real intimacy because of this uh physical uh >> it's like we're taking animals, >> you know, inconvenience, >> right? Like animals obviously, >> but then we're telling >> actually kind of human stories. We learn more about ourselves than we ever could by watching ourselves.

[00:32:37]>> Yeah. Are you allowed to do that?

[00:32:46]>> We had to get Yeah, we had to um >> We had to get a couple letters clearance.

[00:32:52]>> Yeah, we got a letter from Christopher Nolan.

[00:32:54]>> Okay. Um which was just said okay. Out of the DGA. Yeah. He's okay with it. I'm okay with it.

[00:33:01]>> Yeah. G >> dogs, goats, and animals.

[00:33:03]>> Yeah.

[00:33:04]>> Why is it called that?

[00:33:05]>> Dogs, goats, and animals. Dogs, goats, and animals. What's that?

[00:33:08]>> Goats and animals. The DGA.

[00:33:10]>> He's the president of DGA.

[00:33:11]>> I'm sorry. Of dogs, goats, >> dogs, goats, and animals.

[00:33:14]>> He's mad at Hayes. Hayes shouldn't be using AI for those dogs, goats, and animals on the ranch. And >> have you guys Wait, have you guys done your Sheep Detective rewatch yet? I guess it's hard. It's not out yet. Are you guys excited for Sheep Detective?

[00:33:27]>> Sheep Detective is on my list. Uh, I think it's uh right ahead of number two.

[00:33:34]>> I think it's pretty high. I'm excited.

[00:33:36]Yeah.

[00:33:37]>> Top two and it ain't two. I'm No, I'm [ __ ] stoked. I can't believe what those sheeps are up to in the trailer at least. Yeah.

[00:33:46]>> We were going to go.

[00:33:47]>> Are they allowed to do that?

[00:33:51]>> If you want to, but he mentioned Gilbert. We were going to go to uh the Earwolf Cemetery after this. If you want to >> Oh, yes. Uh, like check out some of the >> that's in that's in that sort of that we work space near Hollywood Forever Cemetery.

[00:34:07]>> We worked.

[00:34:07]>> Yeah, >> we worked.

[00:34:09]>> We worked. I mean, it's really nice. You So, you walk in and you hear it's your voice saying, "A woo, the people dead."

[00:34:18]>> That's right.

[00:34:19]>> And we So, we'll go see Gilbert and Scott, of course. And of course, like >> that's really beautiful. That's really great.

[00:34:25]>> That's nice. Nice to remember that stuff. Yeah, >> I hope someone does it for me.

[00:34:31]>> Are you worried about your mortality?

[00:34:34]>> Yeah, a little bit. Just because like um well, some of what's been happening with the tea not getting into my body like that actually can't be good.

[00:34:43]>> No. If your body can't absorb that, >> you're supposed to have at least a little and it's like >> they say low, not no zero.

[00:34:53]is >> Do you feel like you've spilled the tea?

[00:35:00]>> Spilling is just a different thing compared to >> this. Are we going to spill the tea today?

[00:35:10]>> Well, uh, you you said you had a bombshell when you came into the office.

[00:35:13]You said you were going to really hit us with some major news.

[00:35:17]>> I mean, if you guys want to >> I I wouldn't mind going viral. Well, I mean, it could be good for us.

[00:35:23]>> Okay.

[00:35:23]>> We could do We have a segment called Make a Dish Foundation.

[00:35:27]>> Mhm.

[00:35:27]>> Where you dish on.

[00:35:29]>> Sure.

[00:35:30]>> Mhm.

[00:35:30]>> Cool stories from Hollywood.

[00:35:33]>> That could help maybe help someone who's in the hospital.

[00:35:35]>> Yeah. No, this is >> We have a lot of hospitalized listeners.

[00:35:39]>> Yeah.

[00:35:39]>> Oh, really?

[00:35:40]>> That's where we're most popular. You guys are playing like in hospital in the waiting rooms or in the actual the where the stuff >> plays on the PA at the hospital. Yeah.

[00:35:50]In the rooms where people have a coma.

[00:35:51]>> So, it's just audio.

[00:35:54]>> No video cuz it's just hard.

[00:35:56]>> Were you going to do something for the dish? Was there a visual component? I wanted to do Yeah, I wanted to do a I mean I I I think you can just hear it and it's fine.

[00:36:05]>> Okay.

[00:36:05]>> Yeah.

[00:36:06]>> But obviously there's just something about video that helps you connect, especially to sick people.

[00:36:11]>> Ain't that the truth?

[00:36:12]>> Yeah, that is something that I uh think could be very underrated about communicating with sick people is them being able to see you, you know.

[00:36:21]>> Yeah. Be visually because they're sick and they can't they're not moving around like they >> not seeing as many people.

[00:36:26]>> Exactly. So, so um so it's what is the name of the show? It's Dish >> Make a Dish Foundation.

[00:36:31]>> Make a dish foundation. So, what So, I think what it is, if I understand it right, is like we go in and we cook easy to make hot one pot meals in a hospital room, serve it, and then we sort of give them some a little tea, some little a spicy little spicy little tea.

[00:36:47]>> Yeah.

[00:36:48]So, I would happily do that. Um, and if you guys want me to spill the tea, I will. Um, >> it feels Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It feels like >> he's going to spill it for real.

[00:37:04]>> If anything, this is why we haven't had him on the show in 11 years.

[00:37:08]>> And it's I literally have told you that Richie is insanely violent. You just made a mess in his studio. That's really bad. Like what do you think he's doing?

[00:37:18]Like he's not like doing anything else.

[00:37:20]>> Yeah.

[00:37:21]>> Right. Why is he in here?

[00:37:22]>> You going to mess with >> you?

[00:37:28]And now he's on mic. I can't believe it.

[00:37:30]I can't believe Richie's actually talking to us on the show. God, this is awful. Have you met Richie Samoro?

[00:37:39]>> I've not.

[00:37:41]>> I go to the same like uh leather scarf factory that he works at. Oh, nice.

[00:37:47]>> Oh, he works there. It's not even where he shops.

[00:37:48]>> Yeah. He just like he felt, you know, he got so into the craft of it. He just It's like his throwing pottery.

[00:37:54]>> Wow.

[00:37:54]>> That's where he just goes to kind of unwind.

[00:37:56]>> Leather scarfves.

[00:37:57]>> Mhm.

[00:38:00]>> Such a cool art form.

[00:38:02]>> That's it.

[00:38:02]>> That's the tea that Richie Sora >> makes. Leather scarfves.

[00:38:06]>> Makes leather scarves >> himself. Oh man.

[00:38:08]>> Yeah.

[00:38:09]>> Wow.

[00:38:09]>> And then reported everybody to ICE.

[00:38:12]That's really the tea. Richie Sambore reported everyone at the factory to ICE.

[00:38:17]>> Yeah.

[00:38:18]>> Oh my god. So he would have more scarves for himself. He thinks that >> that's that's what he thought, >> but it was just like a bunch of other 80s rockers working in the factory and all of them.

[00:38:30]>> Also them going away. I I have a feeling it's probably the kind of situation where >> probably kind of situation where he thinks he's doing a lot of the scarf making, but there's a lot of people behind him doing like There's a lot of There's a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:38:45]>> He's like, "Oh, >> but he loves it." Yeah.

[00:38:47]>> Yeah.

[00:38:48]>> Um >> Meeting Animals is on >> Meeting Animals Netflix >> all season.

[00:38:55]>> All season long vlog.

[00:38:58]>> Yeah. Mating Animals is on season.

[00:39:01]>> Mating season. Wait, what is it called?

[00:39:03]>> Meeting season.

[00:39:04]>> Who is this, by the way?

[00:39:05]>> Meeting season.

[00:39:06]>> Okay, so this is Richie Samuka First Brain.

[00:39:09]>> Hey, how are you? Nice to meet you, man.

[00:39:11]>> Nice to meet you.

[00:39:12]Um, mating >> mating animals all season long.

[00:39:16]>> Maining >> man >> animals >> maning animals >> all season long.

[00:39:20]>> All season long >> on peacock.

[00:39:22]>> And you can't skip it. No skipping, >> guys. Completion rate.

[00:39:28]>> The completion rate is so important.

[00:39:30]>> Do you talk to your spouse about completion rate?

[00:39:33]>> Uh, you know, we're in a bit of a no talking phase.

[00:39:39]>> The aristocrats. Bye.