I Was Embarrassed By A Life I Would Now Hate To Lose

Added: 2026-05-31

[00:00:04]I was embarrassed by a life I would now hate to lose.

[00:00:11]There was a time when I thought this life meant I was falling behind.

[00:00:17]Quiet mornings, same suburb, a life that looked too small to matter.

[00:00:23][music] No big milestones, no impressive story to tell people.

[00:00:30]Nothing that looked the way I thought a meaningful life was supposed to look.

[00:00:35]And for years I carried that feeling with me.

[00:00:39]Like I was waiting for my real life to finally begin.

[00:00:44]But somewhere along [music] the way, something shifted.

[00:00:48]Not all at once, quietly.

[00:00:52]I started noticing things I used to overlook.

[00:00:56]First coffee in the morning, the conversation in the kitchen with my mother, the strange comfort of sitting at my desk late at night creating something I cared about.

[00:01:12]And slowly, the life I used to judge so harshly started feeling like my life again.

[00:01:19]Not perfect, not extraordinary, [music] just mine.

[00:01:33]A few months ago, I probably would have looked at this life very differently.

[00:01:38]I would have seen someone behind.

[00:01:41]Someone whose life hasn't really started yet.

[00:01:45]And perhaps that's why for so many years I've been restless.

[00:01:49]>> [music] >> Like I needed to become someone else before I could feel okay about myself.

[00:01:57]But then I picked up a camera and something happened.

[00:02:00]My life didn't suddenly become more exciting.

[00:02:03]I just started paying attention.

[00:02:06]Really paying attention.

[00:02:08]And the things I used to overlook started to feel important.

[00:02:15]And um trying to understand why.

[00:02:26]I think for a long time I confused a meaningful life with an impressive one.

[00:02:31]>> [music] >> I thought meaning would arrive with bigger moments, more success, more movement, more proof that I was doing well.

[00:02:44]And it's hard not to think that way now.

[00:02:46]Everywhere you look, people seem to be chasing something.

[00:02:50]Trying to build bigger lives, faster lives, louder lives.

[00:02:56]Meanwhile, mine stayed quiet.

[00:03:00]And for a long time I thought quiet meant failure.

[00:03:05]But now I'm not so sure.

[00:03:08]Because some of the moments that matter most to me would look completely ordinary to somebody else.

[00:03:14]A late night edit.

[00:03:18]A slow walk home after the gym.

[00:03:22]A conversation that lasts 30 seconds, but stays with you all day.

[00:03:28]Reading a comment from someone on the other side of the world saying, "Me too."

[00:03:34]None of it looks very impressive.

[00:03:38]But it feels real.

[00:03:41]And I think I trust real more than impressive now.

[00:03:50]You know, I think for years I treated my life like it was [music] temporary.

[00:03:55]Like eventually I'd become someone else, more successful, more certain, more complete.

[00:04:05]But while I was waiting for this better version of my life to arrive, my actual life was happening in front of me.

[00:04:13]The routines, the ordinary days, the people around me, stuff I thought I'd appreciate later.

[00:04:23]And now I do.

[00:04:25]Not because any of it is extraordinary, because it's mine.

[00:04:32]I kept thinking the important parts of my life hadn't started yet.

[00:04:38]I don't think that anymore.

[00:04:40]I think I belong to this life now.

[00:04:52]>> Most of life isn't made up of huge moments.

[00:04:57]It's made up of ordinary days you almost don't notice while they're happening.

[00:05:02]And maybe [music] that's what changed for me.

[00:05:05]I stopped waiting for my life to become something else and started seeing the value in the life that was already here.

[00:05:15]I used to think this life was too ordinary to matter.

[00:05:19]Now, I think it might have been the one thing >> [music] >> worth holding on to all along.