Did Big Ever Cheat on Carrie? || SATC Video Essay

Added: 2026-05-05

[00:00:00]Big cheated on Barbara, which led to their divorce. Then Big cheated on Natasha multiple times, and that led to their divorce as well. Throughout the series, it seems as though on the surface, Big's wandering eye never wandered too far when he was with Carrie. But is that really true? I couldn't help but wonder, did Big ever cheat on Carrie? Hello there, and welcome to my channel where I analyze and talk about TV shows that I like.

[00:00:25]Around here, the curtain is blue for a reason. There's always a reason. Let's discuss. Big and Carrie were on again off again for six seasons straight, which translates to about six years during the show. Then in the first movie, they break up again. In the second movie, cheating comes up. If we're going to ask the question, did Big ever cheat on Carrie? Let's be positive on what Big and Carrie would count as cheating. In the second movie, Carrie is overwhelmed with guilt and confesses to Big after kissing Aiden. kissing someone else, especially an ex fiance, is absolutely cheating. Carrie becomes upset that Big was flirting with this woman in the second film, but the word cheating is never actually thrown around. When the guy hit on me at the wedding, you thought that was funny. I'm not upset about the flirt. I like the flirt. In fact, you could dial up the flirt around here a little more. I get TV and takeout guy and Bank of Madrid lady gets sparkle guy. So flirting is okay in some circumstances. But then when Carrie was with Aiden, she snuck away from the suffering cabin, lied, and said she had a meeting with her editor, then met up with Big for dinner. You're coming up there to the cabin with me next week. Oh man, I wish I could, but I have a meeting with my editor in town next week. That's okay. It's only 40 minutes away. You could take the train in for your meeting. Carrie and Aiden head to the cabin, and she gets money.

[00:01:52]Then the scene transitions to her on a dinner date with Big, which Aiden did not know about. Four hours later, I kissed Aiden goodbye, kicked the mud off my boots, and had a New York steak with my New York ex. Big and Carrie flirt with each other regularly regardless if they're with other people or not. We know that at least Carrie considers this wrong or inappropriate because she lies about it and hides it. She hid the fact that she went out to dinner with Big in season 4, episode 9. She never told Burger that she and Big had phone sex in season 6, episode 3. I wasn't aware that you and Big had phone sex. Occasionally since he moved away. Well, the next time he calls, just tell him that you're in a serious relationship with Burger. But I'm not in a serious relationship with Burger. We're still just dating. I mean, it's good dating, but we don't know where it's going yet. She even said this to Big when he tried to initiate again.

[00:02:45]I was just calling to tell you that we won't be having any more of those calls.

[00:02:49]I started seeing someone. Were you seeing someone the other night? Yes, but it just got serious. So, she's aware of what is and isn't appropriate, of course. I think each couple's definition of cheating is going to differ. Carrie specifically says this in season 2 episode 10 after she said, "I love you."

[00:03:08]And Big never said it back. And then they have a big fight at Big's friend's dinner party. She ends up going home with her friend, though nothing happened. Quote unquote. Hey, I love you, too. I'll call you later. Hey, did we? Definitely not. Didn't think so. I felt like I was the lowest of the low, but I never told Mr. Big. I figured everything before I love you just doesn't count. This was in season 2.

[00:03:34]Season 3, episode 10. It said again, I slept with Big last week. I have this non-married wonderful boyfriend with all his hair waiting for me who smells great. Don't beat yourself up. Aiden hasn't said I love you yet. Until then, you're a free agent. With Burger, she called it quits with flirting and having phone sex with Big after they became serious, but they hadn't actually said I love you yet. With Alexander, Carrie didn't even entertain anything with Big.

[00:04:03]No phone calls, no visits, not even lunch. So, honestly, I think the question, did Big ever cheat on Carrie, is really, really broad and it needs to be broken down into smaller sub questions. Did Big flirt with other women while he was with Carrie? Yes, we literally saw it in the second movie. We see it in season 2, episode 9 when Carrie is bothered by the fact that Bigs checking out other women right in front of her to the point where he's breaking his neck to look at this lady. Hey, I I hate that cigar. Those are things he's willing to do right in front of her, mind you. Did Big go on dates with other women while he was with Carrie? Yes and no. We see in season 1, episode 7 when Carrie confronts Big while he's on a date with Julia. Now, I'm not going to fault someone for casually dating around while they're casually dating someone already. Plenty of people do this already, and for many, it's not a serious relationship until there's a discussion about exclusivity. But with Big and Carrie, they rarely have direct confrontations about their wants and needs, unless it's some huge explosion of an argument. Carrie says, "Are you on a date?" Sort of. Well, enjoy your dinner. Are you okay? Oh, sure, sure. I just didn't realize you were dating other women. Now, earlier in the episode, Carrie pointed out that they have been inseparable for a while now.

[00:05:22]4-hour conversations flew by in a space of 15 minutes and a few days apart felt like weeks. Hi, I'm trying to get a hold of a Miss Carrie Bradshaw. She used to be a friend of mine. I can't believe it's been so long. I've been meaning to call you. So, although Carrie doesn't say, "Um, you're cheating on me." She was obviously hurt to find out that Big was still going on dates with other women. Do we consider this cheating?

[00:05:48]Carrie probably doesn't. But did Big go on dates with other women when they were 100% definitely committed and exclusive?

[00:05:57]Maybe. So, in season 2, episode 11, Carrie attempts to leave items over at his apartment, but Big doesn't allow it.

[00:06:04]Hey, what's this? Oh, just a few things you left at my place. Oh, thanks. She later finds a picture of them together hidden in a drawer. Isn't it possible that he purposefully keeps his apartment neat and tidy and free of Carrie's belongings so that if he brings someone over, she wouldn't find anything? Or is it possible that Big is aware that he and Carrie are so up and down, hot and cold, that he views her leaving items at his apartment as annoying and troublesome? Because it's just going to make each breakup more complicated logistically. To dig further into this, we need to look at Big's behavior when he's cheating and try to compare.

[00:06:43]Obviously, Barbara and Natasha are different women with different personalities compared to Carrie. So, of course, Big isn't going to show the exact same side of himself to each woman, but it's at least a starting point. In season 1, episode 8, Barbara states, "He had a wandering eye, wandered right over to my best friend."

[00:07:00]But Big says, "You know, the reason we had a threesome is because we were both looking for something or someone else."

[00:07:08]That's not how Barbara told the story, though. Big makes it seem as though Barbara also had a wandering eye. And yes, maybe she was also unhappy in the marriage, but isn't it possible that the whole thing was brought up in order to attempt to save their marriage? Who exactly is the someone else that Barbara was looking for? Big blatantly says, "I cheated on her." So, we can assume that after the threesome, Big and Barbara's best friend hooked up again at least once. There's no mention of Barbara doing the same. Big then immediately puts on his charm and says to Carrie, "Do you know anyone who's right for me?"

[00:07:45]H and Carrie is back to all smiles. It feels as though Big was honest in this moment by quickly confessing that he cheated on Barbara. But this is really just trickle truthing, providing small bits of honesty, but keeping everything else a secret unless directly confronted in which he would have no choice but to reveal more of the truth. By using this method, Big can downplay the whole thing and make it seem as though he and Barbara were both doing something bad and that they both betrayed each other.

[00:08:16]Now, let's look at Natasha in season 3 episode 9. Big drunkenly tells Carrie that he's leaving Natasha, then calls Carrie and says, "I thought about it and it's going to cost me a lot, so maybe you should just forget about what I said. I mean, I figure I made my bed. I should lie in it." Then later he says, "I was an to you on the phone the other day. When I said I was leaving, you didn't say anything. So I got nervous." And what he meant to say was that he was lying when he said that the divorce is going to cost a lot and that he should just work things out with Natasha. I mean, it probably did cost a lot, but not enough to keep him around forever. Big never had any intention of trying to work things out with Natasha if Carrie is an option. If Carrie ran away from New York and never contacted Big ever again, maybe Big would have actually tried with Natasha. But who knows? Maybe that's a video topic for another day. The point is this reveals to us that Big would never ever put himself in a position where he is the one initiating the divorce. He makes it so that other people are the ones to break things off. He would never sit Natasha down and say, "Hey, this isn't working out. By the way, I also cheated on you." Natasha has to be the one to find out. Back and forth throughout the affair, Big keeps threatening to tell Natasha about him and Carrie, but he never actually does it. He keeps chickening out. He's not the one to end things, and he's not the one to randomly come clean. So, with these two relationships, what have we learned about Big's style of cheating? Although Natasha had her suspicions, she didn't actually get proof of Big and Car's affair until she saw Carrie in her home.

[00:09:57]Big never said to Carrie that Natasha looked at the phone records or found something of Carrie's or anything like that. So, it turns out he was actually pretty decent at hiding Carrie from Natasha until the very last confrontation. But what about hiding Natasha from Carrie? In this episode, Carrie wonders if Aiden can smell Big in her apartment, and Big states that he can smell Aiden all over Car's sheets.

[00:10:22]But could Carrie ever smell Natasha on Big? She never made a comment. No internal dialogue to us, the audience, about how she could smell perfume on Big? Big never accidentally took out keys with a picture of Natasha on the key ring. He never took a call from Natasha while he was with Carrie. From Car's perspective, it felt as though their affair was just a relationship with Big Tucked away in their own little world. Good. You should feel bad. Do you ever think about how she'd feel if she found out? Yes, I think about it all the time. No, you don't. You think about what would happen to you if she found out. You don't think about her. She's just the idiot wife. You don't know anything about her. Carrie was so separated and tucked away from Natasha.

[00:11:08]She really never had to see her or deal with her. She never really had to be confronted by Natasha because of her actions except for the final confrontation. Funnily enough, I think Aiden ran into Big more than Natasha ran into Carrie. Usually, when Natasha ran into Carrie, Big was with her, so everyone was on their best behavior, except for this episode and this episode, of course. Aiden, however, ran into Big a few times when he was literally seeking her out.

[00:11:37]Season 3, episode 8. What are you doing here? That was him, wasn't it? The perfect guy. Yes, it was. And he's coming right back. So then, season 3, episode 9. Hello. It's me. I'm in the lobby. How did you know I was here? That guy at your place. You called my house again. Big did a pretty good job of keeping Carrie and Natasha separated.

[00:12:01]And if they did cross paths, she'd chickenen out and hang up the phone or be as cordial as possible, although very awkward. So, if Big can do all of this orchestrating once, he could definitely do it again. But the question isn't could Big ever cheat on Carrie, it's did he ever cheat on Carrie? And yeah, I think he did. Big is the type of person who's going to rely on gray areas heavily. He's going to lie by omission.

[00:12:29]He's going to dance around topics, change the subject, and pin the blame on someone or something else. If Carrie ever sat him down and said, "Did you cheat on me? Yes or no?" Yeah, I do think Big would give a definitive yes or no and give some puppy dog look with it, but he would only say yes if he considered it cheating in the strictest of senses. In season 1, Big continued to date other people while he was dating Carrie. This is discussed between them, and it's a gray area. Carrie thought they were exclusive, Big didn't think so. Big was probably sleeping with other women, but if confronted and asked directly, he wouldn't count it as cheating. In season 2, episode 6, the cheating curve, they started dating again, but this conversation happens. I haven't told my friends we're seeing each other again. Neither have I. That doesn't count. You have no friends. I have interested parties. Why haven't you told them? I sensed you didn't want me to. What do you want me to tell people? Nothing. Good idea. Let's keep it quiet. Why do you want to keep it quiet? I just want to be agreeable.

[00:13:36]And then later, does this mean we're seeing each other again? Officially, if you say so. That is an infuriating response. I don't know officially means.

[00:13:47]Officially means officially. You know, for real. Every moment of my life is for real, baby. What a bunch of nonansers.

[00:13:56]Basically, all of this means that out of all of the times Big and Carrie got back together, we're not actually sure when it was official, when it was serious, when it was casual, and when was it exclusive because fact of the matter is neither did Carrie or Big. This gray area encompasses pretty much their entire relationship over the course of six seasons. If Big were to get caught cheating on Carrie during any of the times they were together, couldn't he just argue that it doesn't actually really count because they weren't actually really official or really exclusive or whatever? And wouldn't Carrie just go along with it? In the same episode, season 2 episode 6, the cheating curve, Big and Carrie started dating again officially, quote unquote, and the question of what is considered cheating gets brought up with the girls.

[00:14:47]I just don't think you can define cheating in absolute terms. I think maybe there's a cheating curve.

[00:14:53]Someone's definition of what constitutes cheating is in direct proportion to how much they themselves want to cheat.

[00:14:59]Season 1, episode 7, Carrie says this after seeing Big on a date with Julia Woods. True, we had never discussed exclusivity. But while for me, the idea of seeing another man would be like trying to fit another outfit into an already oversted suitcase, Big was already dating another woman, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

[00:15:18]So, we can confidently say that during this episode, according to Carrie's cheating curve, someone's definition of what constitutes cheating is in direct proportion to how much they themselves want to cheat. since she finds the idea of even going on a dinner date with someone else so revoling. Therefore, she finds big going on a dinner date infuriating. Though she never uses the word cheating, she does say, "Has monogamy become too much to expect?" So, I do think cheating is somewhere in the back of her mind. So, let's apply this cheating curve to a time when Carrie herself wants to cheat and let's see if that definition changes. In the second movie, Carrie goes on a date with Aiden of all people. And immediately after they kiss, she runs off and deals with her inner turmoil of confessing this to Big. I kissed Aiden. Who kissed who first? We're both equally guilty. I want to call Big and tell him. No, really. I don't want the secret. The secret to me makes it much worse. The sooner I tell him, the quicker, the less damage it will do. A kiss is nothing. A kiss with Aiden. We have history. So obviously Carrie understands the significance of all of this. Even if it was just quote unquote a kiss, Carrie admits that she wanted to kiss Aiden. She has an equal amount of guilt. So according to her cheating curve that she created, she constitutes cheating as kissing because she herself wanted to kiss Aiden really, really badly. I mean, come on. The flirting, the leaning into each other, let's be serious. So, we can be 100% confident that if Carrie ever found out that Big went and kissed Natasha or Barbara or Julia Woods, she would absolutely be upset. And Big knows this about Carrie. I do think they know each other well enough. My biggest piece of evidence for why I think Big, at one point or another, maybe even multiple points throughout the relationship, has cheated on Carrie is what happens in the second film after Carrie confesses to Big. First of all, just look at Big's face when Carrie first calls because he knows it's like 2:30 in the morning and he thinks something has happened. Now, compare this face to this face the second he hears that Carrie met up with Aiden. The phone call ends with a stern, "I'm at work, Carrie. I have to go.

[00:17:38]Goodbye." As he tosses the phone on his desk, obviously he's pissed off. Now, I'm not too sure if he would be equally pissed off if she kissed a random guy. I think it's more so because it's Aiden.

[00:17:51]Whenever Carrie is in a serious relationship with another guy, we do see some jealousy come out of Big. Whether it's minor, like, "How's that guy a hot dog?" Carrie likes a jazz man or a little more serious. This isn't about us. This is about that guy. He has a name. His name is Aiden. So, him being this upset after learning that Carrie has cheated on him with Aiden of all people, knowing full well the history of Big Carrie to leave Aiden for him so that he could leave Natasha and both of them sneaking behind their respective partners' backs. His anger makes sense.

[00:18:29]It makes absolute sense. So, how is it that Carrie comes home and she gets a ring out of it? Big says, "You have to wear this everyday so that you remember you're married. That's your punishment."

[00:18:42]But we can see that Carrie does wear a wedding band. She wore it on the date with Aiden. She doesn't need to wear a piece of jewelry to be reminded that she's married. She already does. I realized that you never wrote any vows from you to me. Oh, I did. But then that wedding never happened. I guess we all make stupid mistakes, y'all. The first movie was 2 years before the second movie. I find it really hard to believe that Big is still so torn up about jilting Carrie when it seems they've moved past it. So, is Big really letting Carrie off the hook from kissing Aiden because he realizes that he screwed up in their marriage by jilting her? I don't think so. I think he has also cheated. And we're not sure the exact degree. Was it a kiss? Was it sleeping with someone? But I think there's been some indiscretion multiple times while they have been dating and maybe some moments while they've been married. And Big has realized that Carrie is capable of making the exact same mistakes as he is. His anger dissolves and he runs to a jeweler and gets her a gorgeous and expensive ring. Are we seriously supposed to believe that Big is the type of guy to get cheated on and then just shower his partner with gifts? Has he ever been that type of person? Fact of the matter is Big is and always has been really good at covering up his tracks.

[00:20:04]Now, I know that when he was having an affair with Carrie, Natasha was able to pick up on some of the clues which led to her exclaiming, "I knew you were having an affair to Carrie. I go more into this in this video." But with Natasha, Big wanted to get caught. He wanted any excuse to get out of his marriage with Natasha that didn't involve him having to do the difficult job of actually being honest with Natasha. He didn't care if Aiden saw them either. Hence why he just kept showing up at Carrie's apartment unannounced, calling whatever he wanted, calling Carrie's apartment and finding out which hotel she's staying in from Aiden. If Big doesn't want to get caught, he has the resources to make sure he doesn't get caught. hotels, personal drivers, and plenty of bell hops that won't say a thing. Although Carrie quote unquote caught Big on a date with Julia Woods in season 1, episode 7. Apparently, he just recently flew out of the country with a Melissa who walks right up to Big and kisses him and says, "Hey, I've been trying to call you. You still have my passport." Carrie never knew he flew out of the country recently, and she certainly didn't know that he brought a Melissa with him. It would be incredibly easy for Big to continue keeping secrets like this. His apartment is spotless throughout the entire series. Nobody's allowed to leave anything there. He travels. He has endless money to get as many hotels rooms as he wants, as we see with Carrie and Big's affair. Now, one could argue that after they get married, Carrie, as his wife, eventually has access to phone records, credit card bills, and all of his passwords and such, but guess again.

[00:21:44]And just like that, spoilers abound.

[00:21:46]Episode 1 and two, we find out after Big died that Carrie doesn't even know Big's passwords. She never knew that he had a dog named Gigi. And it was a complete shock to her when she found out that he left Natasha a million dollars in his will. This was after they were married for 10 years, mind you. A lot of things flew under the radar. And there's a lot of things that Big did while he was with Carrie and while he wasn't that we'll just never fully 100% see proof of. But that's what I think. It's less of a question of did Big ever cheat on Carrie and more of a question of how many times and how far did he go? Was it truly a gray area or was it black and white cheating? But what do y'all think? Did Big ever cheat on Carrie? If so, when do you think it was? And with who? There's a popular theory that Big might have been dating Carrie and Natasha at the same time for a while. Do you agree? Let me know in the comments. And if you have a suggestion for the next video, feel free to leave that in the comments as well. Thanks so much for watching. See y'all next time.