When you've been trying to solve a problem and getting nowhere (and feeling more stressed)...

Added: 2026-05-30

[00:00:02]Hi friend.

[00:00:04]If you have a sense of urgency that there's some problem that you need to solve and maybe you've been trying to solve that problem for perhaps hours or days or weeks, months, years, decades, maybe even your whole life.

[00:00:26]And truth be told, you're kind of confused, maybe even lost in regard to what to do, then I want to share something with you that maybe you'll find useful. I know that I have personally found this to be extraordinarily useful. Uh I would even say necessary because personally I have often found myself in a position where I have that sense of urgency like there really is some problem that I need to solve and it seems really really important and I've been trying to solve the problem and I get to that point where I'm confused. So I don't even really properly understand what the problem is anymore and still that compulsion to try and solve the problem remains. I still feel like I have to solve this problem. It's so important. I can't stop now.

[00:01:22]And what I found is that, and what I'm going to say here is probably totally obvious, but I found that trying desperately to solve a problem that I don't even properly understand doesn't help. it actually makes things worse.

[00:01:47]So even though in those situations the last thing that my terrified anxious conditioned mind wants to do is to stop.

[00:02:08]Turns out that that has consistently been the most useful thing. But understanding what it means to stop is challenging maybe for many of us. So I want to invite you to explore that together with me if you'd like.

[00:02:28]So perhaps you could notice right now if you have that sense of urgency, that sense of something's wrong, something's not quite right. There's something that you should be doing, something that you should be fixing somehow, something you should be escaping from, or something you should be obtaining, whatever it is, however that is showing up for you, but that just sense that something's off, something's wrong, not right, and a sense that there's an urgency that you need to figure this out now.

[00:02:59]And just notice how do you know that your thoughts about that that your assumptions, your beliefs about what it means, how do you know that that's actually true?

[00:03:23]Now, obviously, I can't know what it is that you're going to find, but I can share with you what it is that I find, and maybe you'll find this useful.

[00:03:31]Obviously, uh what I find is not going to be a replacement for you actually discovering directly for yourself what it is that is happening for you.

[00:03:48]So this is not meant to be something that you should take on as a new belief or accept as true but rather it's just to point to something so that you can look for yourself.

[00:04:01]What I find is that I'm perceiving sensations and these sensations are sensations that seem to be contracted, tense, reactive.

[00:04:33]And my habit is to try and do something about those sensations. So there's the reactive, tense, contracted sensation.

[00:04:44]And then my habit is to try and do something about it.

[00:04:50]It's this is happening very fast. It's not something that I'm consciously thinking about, but I can just be aware that there's really just some sensation and then a reactive uh compulsion in regard to the sensation as if the sensation itself actually was evidence that there was a problem that I needed to do something about.

[00:05:23]So what I find is that the only evidence that I actually have that any of this means what I have assumed that it meant which is that I have a problem that I need to fix or do something about is that I am experiencing sensation and that my reaction to the sensation my conditioned reaction to the sensation is more attention, more reaction.

[00:05:58]Now, of course, I might have thoughts that back up my view or my assumption that there's a problem. So, for example, I might have thoughts uh I'll give a couple of examples to in different domains because I think that might be useful. So I'll start with uh some thoughts that I I can observe regarding uh that thoughts about uh my physical well-being.

[00:06:34]So I have uh I notice sensation which I would say I notice sensation all over the place but I'll I'll give a specific example of specific sensation that I noticed. So I I noticed a I noticed specific sensation in the back of my neck and and shoulders and upper back.

[00:07:01]And that sensation seems tense, contracted.

[00:07:08]And the thoughts that I have uh that seem to be associated with that are thoughts about there's something wrong with me. all that whatever it is that's wrong with me is preventing me from feeling good, from feeling at ease, and that I need to solve this problem. I need to do something about it.

[00:07:46]I I won't be able to feel well and at ease unless I do something So that's one example. Uh and I'll give you another example that uh is seems to be this where the story or the thoughts seem to be about about a different domain. So the first one is about physical well-being and this one is about u finances and material security. So I notice sensation in my lower abdomen and uh this sensation also seems tense and contracted.

[00:08:44]And the thoughts that seem to be associated with that are thoughts about how I need to urgently secure more money and more material security. I need to have a plan that is uh proven, that virtually guarantees that I have so much money coming in regularly that I'll never ever uh need to think about money in regard to uh being able to buy and secure the things material things that I want ever again. So uh so there are thoughts these thoughts that seem to be associated and uh and and so those thoughts at a superficial level maybe seem to provide some kind of uh confirmation that what I'm experiencing means something that it means these what these thoughts suggest.

[00:10:15]Uh and yet when I really examine it, how do I know that these sensations actually mean what uh these thoughts would suggest? I I can't really find any in in intrinsic uh link between these sensations and these particular thoughts or meanings.

[00:10:37]Here's a a way of framing it that I think some people find useful. So if you have uh any doubts or resistance to uh this lack of intrinsic meaning uh you might find this to be a useful way of of conceiving of it. So, uh, if you have a sensation that you think means what your thoughts say, then you could imagine uh some other person, some some person who's just going about their business in their life and all of a sudden they experience that sensation for themselves. So whatever the particular sensation is that you think means something for you uh imagine somebody else who's just out of the blue experiences that sensation for themselves.

[00:11:37]And then the question is would that person actually know that that sensation means what you think it means.

[00:11:48]So if they're just experiencing that sensation. So that sensation has a location has qualities to it right like I described that I notice this sensation in my lower belly contracted intense seems to be rather dense somewhat heavy and um so if I imagine somebody else who was just going about their business and all of a sudden they experienced that sensation for themselves would they know that it means that they need urgently to secure um so much money. And it's not obvious to me that they would know that.

[00:12:30]They might think it means many other things or they might not think it means anything at all, but there's no reason uh that I can see why they would know that it would mean anything to do with money. Some people might think so, but not everybody would.

[00:12:49]So the point here being that the feeling the sensation uh actually doesn't have any intrinsic meaning. It's just sensation.

[00:13:00]But out of habit uh I have linked particular meanings or thoughts or stories with the sensation.

[00:13:09]And because I've done that so many times then unconsciously I just assumed that the sensation meant what I thought it meant. But it doesn't actually mean that not intrinsically.

[00:13:24]And by the way, the point of this is not to try and argue with yourself. This is not to try and convince yourself of anything. It's just an inquiry, just to notice what's actually happening and just to invite some uh new perspective.

[00:13:42]So it's not about trying to achieve anything or force anything. It's just an inquiry.

[00:13:53]So I I notice that there I I notice that there's sensation. I notice there there may be thought. There doesn't have to be thought, but there may be thought. There could be uh you know, and thought could consist of many different aspects. So thought could be like mental images, so-called memories, projections in the future. Uh, it could be like interior dialogue or narrative sound. Um, making making sounds of words, sentences, and things like that. So, it could be all kinds of things, but uh, but that seems to be what's actually happening.

[00:14:37]That's what I notice. And of course, you're going to notice whatever you're going to notice.

[00:14:46]So, so again the the question here is uh how do I know or how do you know how do we know that uh we actually have a problem and an an urgent need to solve that problem and all that I can come come up with is that in in terms of what I'm actually noticing, what I'm actually experiencing is that there's sensation, there's conditioned reaction to sensation, there's uh thoughts or narrative or mental images that are co-arising. They're happening simultaneous to the sensation and the the co-arising of the sensation and the thoughts uh seems to maybe imply that there's a connection and out of habit because uh I've largely been unconscious then I just assumed that all that actually really inherently went together. But it turns out when I examine it, what I find is it's just co-arising.

[00:16:15]They don't actually have any intrinsic link.

[00:16:21]Now again the context of this is that uh I I'm noticed I've noticed and I've invited you to explore this if you also have noticed that there's a sense of urgency to solve a problem and yet uh all of the efforts up to now have not have not resolved that haven't solved the problem haven't resolved the sense of urgency. Uh and so this isn't about trying to uh short circuit a process that's actually working. You know, if you have a sense of a problem and you're making and you're taking steps to resolve that problem and it seems to be giving you good results, then that's great. That's very functional.

[00:17:10]And uh so I just want to be clear that that the purpose of this inquiry is not to try and short circuit something that's working, but rather this is about when there's something that's not working or that does not seem to be working. Right? So that there's there's this persistent sense that there's a problem that needs to be solved and trying to solve it despite the best efforts isn't working and actually seems to maybe be making things worse.

[00:17:40]And so in that particular context then I found this inquiry that I'm inviting you to explore right now has been very helpful and again it's not about trying to solve it and I I know that uh for me and I think for other people that that can be um challenging because the temptation is still to assume that there must be a problem that needs to be solved than than just to make the sensation the problem that needs to be solved like oh now I know that I have this sensation maybe it's tension or whatever that I uh that's the problem I need to get rid of it so then subtly the the focus shifts to that's the problem that I need to solve but then it's still a problem that needs to be solved and trying to solve that problem if that works that's great but oftentimes it doesn't work in my experience so I'm pointing that out just so that you can also Be aware of that possibility that you might just subtly shift the focus to a an a different idea of what the problem is and still be caught in the same vicious cycle of trying to solve a problem that we don't yet necessarily know actually exists.

[00:18:59]it might exist. But the the point here is that because we've been trying to solve a problem and not getting the results, then it's perhaps worth exploring what is the actual problem. Do we actually know there's a problem? How do we know what the problem is? Or how do we know that we have a problem? Because if we don't have a problem, then obviously we're not going to be able to solve it. And if we're trying to solve a problem that doesn't exist, then we're kind of creating a problem for ourselves by trying to solve something that doesn't exist. And that is insoluble.

[00:19:41]And so the inquiry here is kind of work backward and examine what what is this really?

[00:19:49]And so far I haven't found anything.

[00:19:53]I mean there's sensation, there's reaction, there's thought and so forth.

[00:20:00]But when I So I should clarify, it's not that I haven't found anything, but I haven't found any proof of a problem that urgently needs to be solved.

[00:20:12]So, this suggests to me that maybe uh you know there's a couple obvious possibilities. Maybe there is a problem and I just haven't yet identified it.

[00:20:32]Uh or maybe there is no problem and I I haven't been able to prove either way.

[00:20:40]So, but I'm just noticing well there's a possibility. There could be a problem or there might not be a problem. I mean, that possibility existed before also, but now it's a little clearer. Before the assumption simply was there is a problem. There must be a problem. And now, as I'm inquiring, I'm noticing, well, maybe there's not a problem. But there might be a problem. I can't prove that there is no problem. I just it's a little clearer that there might not be a problem.

[00:21:09]So obviously if there's not a problem then I don't need to solve anything.

[00:21:14]That would be nice.

[00:21:17]Uh so then there's nothing else that needs to be done if that was the case. So we'll just set that aside for a moment and let's focus on well what if there is a problem? Well if there is a problem that I haven't yet identified then uh trying to solve a problem that I haven't identified. Well I've already proven that doesn't work very well. and it's not likely to work very well. So maybe if that's the case, then uh kind of doesn't make sense for me to try to solve that problem unless I actually can clearly identify what the problem is.

[00:21:55]So so now kind of broken this down into three categories. One possibility is that there is no problem in which case I don't need to solve the problem.

[00:22:05]The other category, the second category is that there is a problem, but I haven't yet identified what the problem is. And I kind of find myself in that category right now, right? Because I haven't yet identified what the problem is or that there is a problem. And in that case, I've already I already have pretty good evidence that trying to solve a problem that I haven't identified, it doesn't work.

[00:22:31]And then of course the third category would be that there is a problem and I know what that problem is but obviously I don't know that there is a problem or what the problem is. So so in that case though if there if there is a problem and I can identify what the problem is then and only then would it actually make sense for me to try to solve that problem.

[00:22:59]And it turns out that the only scenario that I know is not true presently is that one. See the there's these three three possible scenarios.

[00:23:13]And only one of them in only one of them does trying to solve the problem actually make sense. And it turns out that that's the only category that I know is not actually true because I don't know that there is a problem or what the problem is. So therefore, I know that I should not be trying to solve the problem. That doesn't mean I will never try to solve the problem. It just means it it will always be foolish for me to try to solve the problem unless I know that there is a problem and I know uh what the problem is.

[00:23:55]Until that occurs or unless that occurs then trying to solve the problem is unwise.

[00:24:05]This is what I find. I don't know what you're going to find, but I'm just walking you through the process that I'm doing here live presently in case that might be helpful for you.

[00:24:23]But again, you have to look for yourself and discover what you discover because just taking on a belief based on some logic that I present uh won't actually give you the full results. The only thing that can really work for you is for you to look for yourself and discover directly for yourself what it is that you discover because that's the only thing that can be true for you.

[00:24:52]I'm just going to continue with this process though uh again with the expectation that this might be helpful for you as a pointer.

[00:25:03]So as I continue to explore this I I uh now am noticing that it's clear to me that uh unless or until I know that there is a problem and what the problem is then it will be unwise for me to try to solve the problem. So therefore, uh, as long as I have some sense that there might possibly be a problem, which is still the situation that I find myself in, then uh I can't totally uh choose this category of knowing that there is not a problem. So instead, I find myself in the situation where uh there might be a problem, but I don't know that there is.

[00:25:52]And given that that's the situation that I find myself in where I don't know that there's a problem, but there might be a problem, I know that I would be unwise to try to solve that problem since I don't know that there is a problem or what it is.

[00:26:07]And I can't uh choose or I don't know that I can choose to uh or that it would be wise for me to choose to totally dismiss uh the possibility there might be a problem since it's seems like there might there's a possibility there might be a problem.

[00:26:28]So then what could I do? What what's available to me?

[00:26:33]And what uh occurs to me is that what's available is just to continue to uh be present to what's actually happening as it is to really just continue with this inquiry of noticing what's actually happening because I notice that as I'm just observing directly what's actually happening then even though I wouldn't say that I feel uh comfortable or totally at ease or totally relaxed in the way that I think I want to feel.

[00:27:12]I also noticed that uh there's something about this inquiry that does offer u some kind of uh I'll I'll say peace of some kind.

[00:27:37]Not again it's not comfort or relaxation in the way that I think I want but I don't know what other word to use presently other than just say maybe there it's it's like it's peace of some kind.

[00:27:50]There's a there's an openness, curiosity, presence.

[00:27:59]And even though my conditioned mind tends to judge that as insufficient or uncomfortable and therefore bad, I can continue to inquire because I don't actually know that it's actually uncomfortable or bad. As I just observe what is this actually I notice that this also consists of sensation and then thoughts that are co-arising which I've already described like thoughts that say there's something wrong with this this isn't the kind of comfort or relaxation that I think I want but as I really just inquire and notice directly what is this again I just notice sens this sensation And I don't really know that the sensation means anything. I certainly don't know that it means what the thoughts, the co-ising thoughts suggest.

[00:29:01]And the more that I just am present with and inquiring into the nature of what it is that's actually happening here directly and just allowing with curiosity, the more I notice a kind of openness, spaciousness, allowing, welcoming.

[00:29:21]Now, it's not again I I wouldn't call it comfortable and this is just my experience. I don't know what your experience is, but for me, I I wouldn't use the word comfort to describe this because it seems uh unknown. I I don't seem to be able to uh get a hold of it and and control it or predict how it will be in the next moment.

[00:29:50]And the thoughts that come up are still thoughts that are kind of uh fearful like wondering you know might something might something bad happen might this mean something bad but as I just continue to inquire just noticing directly what's actually happening I notice well this just still just seems to be sensation and I really don't know what it means.

[00:30:15]So, I still don't know if there's a problem.

[00:30:23]I have not thus far in my life uh been able to definitively prove to myself in a way that is thoroughly uh that I thoroughly accept without any doubt that there is no problem. I have not been able to absolutely prove that and fully accept that. And so what I find personally is that uh this inquiry seems to be uh highly valuable in an ongoing way.

[00:31:06]I do sometimes have thoughts that suggest that uh or that that claim that I wish that it was otherwise that I wish I could just have comfort and ease in the way that I imagine that I could just get it all over with and uh you know enter into some kind of permanent state of uh bliss and whatever it is that I imagine.

[00:31:35]somehow would be more desirable and yet the same inquiry applies to that. So because that's really still more of the same. It's still a sense that there's some problem that needs to be solved.

[00:31:52]And as I just continue to inquire, I find that I so far have consistently discovered that I just don't know.

[00:32:03]And so far, I haven't needed to know.

[00:32:06]Even though there are thoughts still that come up that say I should know and that not knowing is a problem. But so far, I haven't needed to know.

[00:32:20]So, I trust that this has been of some value to you.

[00:32:27]I thank you for taking the time to inquire together with me.

[00:32:33]Uh if you have any specific doubts or questions about this uh I uh invite you to email me about that. Um you you may of course post a comment here. Uh but I don't often check comments on YouTube and uh so there's a pretty good chance that I would not see your comment. So, if you want to get a response, then the most likely way that that would happen would be if you were to email me. I still cannot promise that I will reply to every email. I do get uh so many emails into my inbox that it's um basically impossible for me to keep up with that, but uh that would be the greatest likelihood.

[00:33:24]And uh if you want to be able to email me, then the uh easiest way to do that would be to uh go to my website and I'll provide the link below in the description and um you can sign up there to get the free real transformation guide that I offer which is a a simple guide that includes five of the uh most helpful pointers that I have discovered for being able to experience what I call real transformation in life. Uh these are very simple, very accessible things. Uh doesn't require that you learn complicated techniques or that you go to workshops or read books or anything like that. These are highly accessible to anybody and everybody.

[00:34:18]And I have found that these are the most useful things and I put them all together in this free uh guide and you can get that by clicking on that link.

[00:34:27]And uh when you do that then you'll get an email automatically from me not personally but it will be an automated email uh from my email address and then you can um you'll have access to that and you can just send me an email if you have any specific questions uh or doubts regarding the inquiry that I uh invited you to explore in this video.

[00:34:51]All right, blessings to you. Take care.

[00:34:55]Bye for now.