Domestic violence and mental health crises often develop gradually through recognizable patterns: coercive control (isolation, monitoring, financial control) builds slowly over years, while mental health crisis symptoms include sleep deprivation, excessive talking, paranoia, and isolation. When these patterns combine—particularly when someone with control issues experiences a mental health crisis—the danger escalates rapidly. The most critical warning sign is when a person with a mental health crisis refuses help and doubles down on isolation, as this indicates the situation has become life-threatening.
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CONNECTICUT HUSBAND MURDERED HIS WIFE BECAUSE HE THOUGHT SHE WAS A SERPENT | Adam DrozdowskiHinzugefügt:
Well, the community in Beacon Falls is left in disbelief this afternoon after police say a husband confessed to killing his wife. And that husband was in court earlier today.
Hi guys. I'm Naisha.
>> [laughter] >> Uh I just want to praise and give thanks to God for letting me be able to get to know him. And I'm growing in my faith, but I believe that he is my Lord and savior, that he's working in my spirit.
>> Let me tell you something.
Last week in a quiet little town in Connecticut, the kind of town where folks said you couldn't even rob a bank if you tried, a man called 911 on himself.
Said he had lost his mind.
>> [music] >> Said he had killed his wife. Told the dispatcher he thought she was a serpent.
A serpent [music] in his own house. The woman he had walked through that neighborhood with hand in hand for years.
Neighbors said they were quiet, >> [music] >> kept to themselves. Nice couple. Nobody saw it coming.
But here's the thing, and this is why we got to talk today.
Somebody almost always sees something.
They just don't know what they're looking at. They don't have the words for it. They think it's stress. They think it's a rough patch. They think that's just how he is lately.
>> [music] >> And by the time anybody figures out what was really happening, it's too late for somebody. So today on Shadowed Crimes TV, we ain't telling you a story.
[music] We're breaking down a pattern.
Two patterns actually that show up over and over again in cases like this one.
The kind of patterns that if you knew what they look like might save somebody you love, might save you.
Pull up. Let's get into it. You're watching Shadowed Crimes TV. We tell the stories that need to be told. Domestic violence, toxic relationships, and the lives lost behind closed doors. No sugarcoating, no excuses, just the truth. [music] If you're new here, subscribe and join us as we shed light on shadowed stories.
First thing we got to understand, when somebody's mind starts to come apart, and I mean really come apart, not just stressed, not just going through it, it usually doesn't happen overnight. Ain't going to lie, Hollywood lied to us about this one.
They showed us people snapping in a single moment, [music] going from zero to a hundred in one scene.
Real life don't move like that.
Real life move slow.
Real life gives you weeks, sometimes months, sometimes years of little signs that something ain't right, and the people closest to it are the last ones to see it because they live in and eat every day.
Let me paint the picture for you. It starts with sleep, or the lack of it.
You'll notice your person ain't sleeping right.
Up at 3:00 in the morning, up at 4:00, pacing, on the phone, on the computer, writing long messages to people, reading things online [music] for hours.
They tell you they don't need sleep.
They feel fine. They got too much to do.
Make it make sense. A grown person running on two hours a night for weeks and telling you they good?
Nah.
Sleep deprivation by itself can crack a mind in half.
Add anything else on top of it, and you got a problem. Then comes the talking.
>> [music] >> Not regular talking. I'm talking about a flood. A whole river of words coming out of somebody who used to be quiet. They want to tell you everything they've been thinking. They got theories. They got connections. They see patterns in things.
In the news, in the Bible, in song lyrics, in license plates, in the time on the clock. Everything means something.
>> [music] >> Everything is connected. And if you don't see what they see, well, you're the one who don't get it.
You're the one who's blind.
You're the one who's been fooled.
This is where it starts to get serious.
Because the thoughts ain't just unusual.
They start to feel chosen.
They start to feel called. They start to feel like a mission.
Now, hear me on this part, because this is where a lot of folks get tripped up.
Spiritual belief is not the same thing as a spiritual crisis.
I need that on a billboard.
Plenty of people pray. Plenty of people read scripture. Plenty of people feel called by God to do something with their lives, and they go on and do it and never harm a soul. Faith ain't the warning sign. So, don't go looking at your auntie who shouts on Sunday morning and think she's about to lose it.
That ain't what we talking about. What we talking about is when belief becomes the only thing.
When somebody starts saying God is talking directly to them about specific people.
When they start feeling like they have a mission nobody else can see.
When the language gets bigger than them.
>> [music] >> Prophecies, end times, being chosen, being a vessel, being the only one who knows the truth.
When they start seeing demons in regular people.
When their own husband, their own wife, their own family member becomes part of some bigger evil only they can perceive.
That ain't faith. That's a mind in crisis using the language of faith because >> [music] >> it's the language they know.
And here's the part that hurts. The person experiencing it usually does not know it's happening.
To them, it feels real. It feels true.
It feels like finally seeing clearly for the first time.
They will defend it. They will get angry when you push back. They will cut off anybody who doesn't agree. Friends, siblings, parents, cousins. They'll tell you those people were never really for them anyway.
The world shrinks down to just them and maybe one or two other people who are still inside the bubble with them. That shrinking, that isolation, hold on to that thought.
We coming back to it.
A few more things to watch for because this is what saves lives. Loss of the basics. Not eating regular, not bathing regular, not going to work or losing the job and not seeming to care.
Money problems they shrug off because they got bigger things to focus on. The regular grown-folk's business of life starts to fall apart and they don't notice or don't care. Paranoia that grows teeth. Everybody is now an enemy.
The neighbors are watching. The family is plotting. The cops are coming. The pastor is corrupted. Even people who showed up to help, especially people who showed up to help, get recast as part of the conspiracy.
A welfare check from a worried family member becomes proof everybody is out to get them.
Make it make sense.
But to them, in that state, it makes perfect sense.
Talking about themselves in ways that don't sound like them.
Calling themselves worthless.
Calling themselves chosen.
Switching between the two in the same conversation.
Saying things about being a prophet, being a fool, being nothing, being everything.
That kind of whiplash thinking ain't a personality.
That's a symptom.
And the one nobody wants to talk about.
When the person they love stops being a person to them, when the wife becomes a symbol, when the husband becomes a demon, when somebody you've slept next to for years starts looking like something other than human in their eyes, that is the most dangerous moment.
And it usually doesn't announce itself with a scream.
It announces itself with a stare.
Now we got to switch gears because everything we just talked about, that's the loud version. That's the version that ends up on the news.
But there's another version that don't make headlines until it's way too late.
And that's the one we need to spend some real time on.
Let me tell you something. Most of the women and it's mostly women, though it ain't only women. Most of the people who end up dead in their own homes at the hands of somebody who said they loved them did not get there because their partner had one bad day. They got there because of a pattern that had been building for years. And the pattern got a name. They call it coercive control. You ever known somebody whose partner had to know where they were at all times? Who texted them every hour? Not because they missed them, but because they were checking.
You ever known somebody whose partner went through their phone, their messages, their bank account? Who made them quit a job? Or made it so hard to keep one that they quit on their own?
Who pushed away their friends one by one until the only person they really talked to anymore was him?
That's it. That's what it looks like and it don't look like violence.
That's the trick of it. It looks like love that's a little too much.
It looks like protection.
It looks like he just cares so much.
Until one day you look up and you ain't got nobody.
No money of your own, no friends who still call, family you barely speak to, and the person who isolated you is the only person left in your world.
How did we get here?
That's the question survivors ask themselves over and over. And the answer is one small thing at a time.
Nobody walks into a relationship on day one and accepts being controlled. It happens in inches. A comment about your outfit, a side eye at your friend, a rule about texting, a rule about money, a rule about family.
Each one small enough to talk yourself out of. Each one part of a bigger cage being built around you while you still inside it. Police set the bond at $1 million before did not feel that is sufficient.
>> 44-year-old Adam JerodZawadzki is now locked up on a $2 million bond. The judge who oversaw JerodZawadzki's arraignment cited mental health concerns based on conversations police say they had with him. Prosecutors said JerodZawadzki called police around 11:45 Tuesday morning and said that he killed someone in his house. They said he told police that he lost his mind.
Prosecutors said the victim was his wife. Members of the victim's family were in court. They did not speak to reporters after the hearing.
>> nice. She was nice and I used to see them walking around here.
>> Neighbor Walter Dunn told us the couple was quiet and kept themselves mostly except for one run-in with police. You know, I think there was a welfare check um that was kind of not in done most cooperative fashion on on his part or their part.
>> Court records show that JerodZawadzki has previous pending charges from December. One for interfering with an officer, another is a felony charge for injuring a police animal. Ever since she was little, she's been coming here. I thought it was a safe area. I'm absolutely shocked. Sharon Herman says her daughter spent a lot of time in the small neighborhood off South Main Street.
>> Prayers for the family. I I just can't believe it.
>> Neighbors tell us they are still trying to make sense of the tragedy.
>> You know, Beacon Falls isn't uh I can't think of the last time there was anything in murder in Beacon Falls. We don't even have a bank here, okay?
If you don't remember nothing else from this whole episode, remember this part.
Isolation is not a side effect of an abusive relationship. Isolation is the strategy.
>> [music] >> It is the thing that makes everything else possible.
Because as long as you got people in your corner, a sister you can call, a friend who'll pick up at 2:00 in the morning, a co-worker who notices the bruise, a cousin who'll let you crash on her couch, as long as you got those people, the abuser don't have full control. So, they go to work on those connections. They start arguments with your family. They make your friends the problem. They convince you the people who love you are jealous or fake or out to break y'all up. And one by one, those people fall away.
By the time things get really bad, you done been alone with this person for a long time. You ain't got nobody to compare notes with. You ain't got nobody telling you, "Girl, that ain't normal."
You ain't got nobody to call when it gets scary, and the abuser knows it.
>> [music] >> That's the whole point. Now, here's where the two patterns we talked about come together. Listen close.
When somebody who already operates with control issues, already isolating, already monitoring, already running the relationship like a small kingdom, when that person also starts experiencing a mental health crisis, the danger goes up fast. Not because mental illness causes violence. It don't. Most people living with serious mental illness never hurt nobody.
>> [music] >> And they're way more likely to be victims than they are to be the ones causing harm.
I need you to hear that part clearly, so we don't walk away from this video stigmatizing folks who are managing real conditions and doing right by everybody around them.
>> [music] >> What I'm saying is different. I'm saying when control and crisis show up in the same person at the same time, you got a situation where somebody already used to dominating their partner now has thoughts [music] and perceptions that ain't tethered to reality. The isolation that was a strategy now meets a [music] mind that genuinely believes the partner is a threat, a demon, a serpent, an enemy.
The partner who was already cut off from family and friends now has nobody who can intervene because the abuser made sure of it years ago.
That's the math. [music] That's how people end up dead in quiet houses on quiet streets where the neighbors said nothing ever happened.
And [music] it's why one of the warning signs we don't talk about enough is this.
When the person you love starts having a mental health crisis, and instead of welcoming help, they double down on cutting people out. When they refuse the medication, when they refuse the doctor, when they tell you the family that's worried about them is actually the enemy.
When they get mad at the cousin who reached out, that refusal of help combined with the isolation, combined with the changes in how they perceive their partner, that is a fire alarm, not a smoke detector. A fire alarm.
So, let's talk about what you actually do.
Because information without action is just anxiety, and I ain't trying to leave you anxious.
If you the partner, the one watching the person you love come apart, first thing you need to know is your safety comes first. I know that feels backwards. I you want to help them. I know you love them.
And you remember who they were before all this.
But you cannot help anybody if you ain't safe.
Make a plan. Tell somebody.
Have a bag. Have a place to go.
Know who you would call. Have your important papers somewhere you can grab them.
This ain't being disloyal. This is being smart. The version of them you love would want you safe.
If you a family member or a friend watching from the outside, don't disappear. That's the biggest thing. Abusers and crisis both want isolation. And the most powerful thing you can do is refuse to let it happen.
Keep calling. Keep showing up. Keep the door open even when she snaps at you.
Even when he says, "Don't come around."
Even when you feel like you the bad guy.
Stay in their life. Be the person who's still there when they finally need to leave.
And if you the one in crisis, if this is sounding familiar in a way that's making you uncomfortable, if you've been up for nights, if your mind is running in circles you can't slow down, if you having thoughts that don't feel like your regular thoughts, please, ask for help. There ain't no shame in it. There's people trained for exactly this.
Your brain having a hard time is a medical situation.
It ain't a character flaw. It ain't a faith failure.
It's a thing that gets treated [music] and treated well when you let somebody in to treat it.
If you in danger right now or you scared of somebody in your home, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233.
They open 24 hours. You can also text start to 887-88.
They will not call the cops on you. They will not tell nobody. They just talk to you and help you figure out what's next.
If you or somebody you love is having a mental health crisis, call or text 988.
That's the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, and it ain't just for suicide. It's for any mental health emergency. Somebody answers. Somebody who knows what they're doing. If you're trying to understand what your loved one is going through and you need support for yourself, NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, runs a helpline at 1-800-950-6264.
They got family support groups all over the country.
>> [music] >> Free. You don't got to be alone in this.
Save these numbers in your phone. Save them in somebody else's phone, too.
>> [music] >> Text them to your group chat. Put them on your fridge. The time to know who to call is before you need to call.
Look, I told you at the top this wasn't going to be a story. It was going to be a pattern.
And the reason for that is simple.
Stories end. Patterns repeat. And the patterns we talked about today, the slow grind of coercive control, the fast collapse of a mind in crisis, and the deadly place where the two of them meet, those patterns are playing out in houses all over this country tonight while you're watching this video.
Somebody you know is in one of them right now. Maybe more than one. Maybe you. Maybe your sister.
Maybe the friend you've been meaning to check on. Maybe the cousin who stopped coming around.
You can't save everybody.
I'm not going to stand here and tell you that you can.
But you can refuse to look away. You can pick up the phone. You can say the awkward thing.
You can be the family member who keeps showing up.
You can be the friend who notices. You can be the neighbor who calls.
You can be the person who, years from now, somebody points to and says, "They were the one who didn't give up on me." That's the assignment. It is what it is. If this video taught you something, helped you see something clearer, or made you think about somebody you love, do me a favor. Hit that like button. Share this with somebody who might need it. Subscribe to Shadowed Crimes TV so you don't miss what's coming next because we got more conversations like this one ahead. And drop a comment below. Tell us what pattern you wish more people understood.
Your comment might be the thing somebody else needed to read today. Stay safe out there. Stay together. And we'll see you on the next one.
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