The Pressure Of Becoming The Person You Said You’d Be

本站添加: 2026-05-28

[00:00:13]did an hour of cardio.

[00:00:16]Burned up 660 calories, which is amazing. I did majority of my stretching as soon as I got off the bike. So, I'm going touch on a little bit more right before I get these squats started.

[00:00:32]And uh that's pretty much it.

[00:00:39]Okay, that makes sense.

[00:00:43]I don't know exactly what this pose is called. I call it the Spider-Man. No, no, no, no, no. It's like when you when you up on your like your heels like damn I can't even do it. When you up like this, that's the Spider-Man.

[00:00:58]I can get a little bit higher if my feet were together. But you know what I'm talking about. It's a rock and roll kind of day. Listening to uh what's it called? Super Heaven something something daughter. Something that heard it off Tik Tok years ago and I said, you know what? I got to have that.

[00:01:16]Feeling it. Feeling it.

[00:01:53]Heat.

[00:02:02]Heat.

[00:02:24]There's something that got to be said for working out or doing your whole workout at one time. At one point in time, I was able to come to the gym twice a day. I know the obvious would be just because I'm so heavy and I let myself get this heavy, but it could be that could be, you know, changes in myself as well as my life. Could be I'm getting older. Uh could be a number of things, you know.

[00:02:54]But regardless of what it is, I feel good that I could at least get my entire workout out the way and not have to worry about it. If I break it up into two workouts, it's like, I bet I do cardio, I feel good. But then the weight's going to be a struggle. It's like, damn, I got to go back and do weights after I done got comfortable at home. I'm editing all these videos. I'm chopping this up. I'm chopping that up.

[00:03:20]Or you flip that. I do hit the weights, right? hit the weights early, feel good, endorphins going crazy, you know, feeling really good about myself now.

[00:03:31]Like, damn, I did no cardio and I feel bad about that. And take a wild guess what both of those ultimately used to lead me to do. Take a wild guess. I want you to take a wild guess.

[00:03:49]If you picked B, you know me better than I thought.

[00:03:54]Somebody get me through this nightmare.

[00:03:58]I can't control myself.

[00:04:18]One more.

[00:04:35]ever tell you about the no so I wouldn't even know last Gordon in my air Hey.

[00:04:47]1 2 Now we moving on.

[00:05:04]How much is this?

[00:05:08]I am in the parking lot of Oh no.

[00:05:14]That's not good.

[00:05:17]I only did this cuz I know my elbows is ashy as hell. I'm in a parking lot of a um of a liel. I did a Vanguard shopping haul a couple weeks ago at this store and I just decided to come in here and get me a little something something cuz I don't need too too much for the house.

[00:05:34]Like we don't need too too much for the house, but you know, you can't never be too careful when it come to groceries.

[00:05:40]And a lot of times when you go to get yourself something, you'll be like, "Oh, snap. I need this. I need that." Like lotion is one of the things that I desperately need cuz my elbows are always ashy. Always. And it's so dark.

[00:05:53]Like why are my elbows so dark? Short pull. I am pretty goddamn hungry. Double shirt pull. And I'll be honest, we did an hour of cardio and a full squat routine. Like I did more squats than I thought. Ooh, bars. Like I I once I turned the camera off, I still did like five more sets of squats. I was like, "God damn, bro." Like, "What is wrong with me?" Like, I really just feel like squatting today. And I I was really exhausted. It's amazing I was able to squeeze out those bicep curls because I just, you know, I just didn't feel it. I just I just was in my own head, but I was training through what I was thinking about. And like I'm currently thinking about it right now. It's like when you ultimately make the decision to like, "All right, I'm going to change. I'm going to do better. I'm going to make these things happen. I'm going to do XYZ XYZ." You start to shed pieces of your old self and for face value, you think, "Oh man, it's going to be easy. The transition is going to be seamless. I'm not going to have to worry about this, that, and the third and blah blah blah blah." That's a lie, right? That is a huge lie uh that we tell ourselves because we genuinely do not know what we're going to be getting ourselves into when it comes to wanting to better ourselves in our situation. It's like I tell people all the time, man, when you talk about weight loss, it's not just like, oh, I'm going to go do cardio. I'm going to eat food and I'm going to lose weight and I'm going to get better sleep, whatever, and I'm going to lift weights or what. It's not that, right?

[00:07:22]That's the easy part. The part where you have to change your identity, that's the hard part. The part where you have to be consistently doing things that at one point in time you did not do. That's the hard part. The part where you have to regulate your emotions because you are effectively you are effectively and actively turning into a different person. That's the hard part. When you get out here and you say and this doesn't just have to do with like fitness. This could do with life as a whole. When you get out here and you say, "All right, I want to be different.

[00:07:56]I want to change." It's now going to take you however many months, however many weeks, however many days to understand, "All right, bet. I got to think this way. I got to be met with the same type problems that at one point in time destroyed me and say, "Well, I'm not going to let that destroy me. I'm not going to let that affect me. I'm not going to let that, you know, change me or or make me stress out or make me stress eat or make me crash out or anything like that." You got to say, "All right, I'm met with this problem," which you already knew you were going to be met with it in the first place, and I'm going to be better, right? I'm going to make a difference in choices. I'm going to do all of the things that the old version of me did not do, so I can consistently show proof and show and tell that I am the new version of me. I am a better version of me. I am doing all the things I want to do. And it's hard, man. And it's so cliche to say things like that are hard, but it is. I say everything is cliche. Everything is cartoonish until you apply it to your life. And once you apply it to your life, you see, oh, whoa, there's some real substance behind this thing.

[00:08:59]There's some real evidence behind the constant change, behind the constant grind, behind the constant picking away at that new life, at that new way of thought, shirt pole, at that new thing, right? There's actual substance behind that. And that's something that's very underrated because a lot of us just, you know, never get put in that position.

[00:09:20]And if we do get put in a position, we get forced into it. Like I literally forced myself into a position of self-rowth because my comfort zone was getting too big. Like it was getting too normal. It was getting too easy to say, "I'll do it tomorrow. I'll do it next week. I'll try this. I'll do this, that, and third." And it's when I quit my job.

[00:09:42]right now. I quit my job because my job was destroying me. You know, I quit my job because even talking about it is just bringing back like bad feelings. You know what I'm saying? Like I would work Monday through Friday, random hours. I mean, it ridiculous hours. Like I would start Monday morning at 2:00 a.m. and I won't get back home until 56:00 p.m. And if I stayed out later, I had to stay wherever I was at.

[00:10:13]Usually it was in some part of Charlotte or some part of Virginia or whatever.

[00:10:18]And you know, that wasn't fun. And it's like I would come back home and then start again at 1:00 a.m. Next day I'll start at 6:00 a.m. Then the next day I'll start at 11:00 p.m. And then the next day I It's like that was a job that genuinely didn't care about my well-being. They didn't care about my health. They didn't care about anything.

[00:10:36]And I had to realize that if my life is going to turn into what I wanted to turn into, I have to effectively give this up. face the fear of not figuring this thing out in time or face the possibility of figuring it out in time or maybe just in the nick of time to get my life on the track to where I wanted to be. I feel like we're kind of at the nick of time type situation scenario because I quit my job back in October.

[00:11:01]It hasn't been a cakewalk since then.

[00:11:02]Granted, this was a decision that I made for me, but I knew how rough it could potentially get. I didn't know how rough it would get. I knew how rough it could potentially get. That's a difference.

[00:11:13]Just thinking about all these things.

[00:11:15]Wanting to just give up because it's difficult. It's like it's difficult is an understatement. Like wanting to just say, "H it is what it is. I don't care.

[00:11:25]I'm not going to try again. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do that." Because it's hard. You know, it's it's hard to do. And if you don't understand exactly what you're doing or if you are not willing to learn how to better the situation that you put yourself in, you're ultimately going to fail and you're ultimately going to look stupid and you're ultimately going to have to go back on what you said. That's the worst part right there. But saying that you're going to do this and then not doing it simply because you weren't willing to learn what it took to do that thing, that's the worst part, you know, cuz it's easy to say what we're going to do. It's a good thing to say it too, but it's easy to say it. It's a lot harder to consistently double down on it, right? And that's something that we don't really talk about a lot. Like doubling down on the decision that you made to better yourself when the views don't come in, when the subscribers don't come in, when the money isn't what you want it to be. When you making low hundreds instead of high thousands, when your videos are getting 500 views, maybe a 100red views. You might crack a,000 views every video. every fifth video, people aren't really checking on you when the scale isn't moving, when the workouts are shitty, when everything is just not going the way you want it to go. It's like, can you take that?

[00:12:43]Can you experience that and keep going?

[00:12:46]Can you look at the potential failure in the face and say, "I don't give a damn how hard you think you are. I don't give a damn how aggressive you think this could be. I'm going to make my life into what I want to make it into. And there's nobody that's going to tell me otherwise. You're not going to tell me otherwise. I'm not even going to tell myself otherwise. I made the decision that I'm going to be great. I made the decision that I'm going to do this thing. And I'm not going to let anybody stop me. Right? I'm not going to let anybody stop me from achieving this goal. The goal is what it is. The four goals that I mentioned in the last video, they are what they are. initially get under 300 lb, get a million subscribers, you know, get in the best shape of my life, make a million dollars. Like, these are still the things that are on the table and they're never not going to be on the table.

[00:13:30]Correction, they're only going to be on the table until I achieve them and then I'm going to have other goals in front of me. So, I'm always going to be working towards something. And I think that's something to be said. It's like when you are always working towards something, you always have something to look forward to. And re people really underestimate like people really underestimate the power of having something to look forward to, right? We we say it all the times like think about it like this. When you're a kid, when you're a kid, man, you always have something to look forward to. summer break, birthdays, you know, winter break, school weekends, like hanging out with friends, going to the movies, you know, your first kiss, your first girlfriend, your first boyfriend, hanging out, doing all kind of things, video games, especially back in the early 2000s when video games and entertainment was amazing. It's like you always have something to look forward to, but when you become an adult, it's like the only thing you look forward to is just bills, you know? The only thing you look forward to is just paying another bill. Right? The only thing you look forward to is, am I going to have enough money for rent? Am I going to have enough money for this vacation? Am I going to be able to do this thing? Am I going to be able to make this thing happen? Am I going to be able to, you know, afford this or afford that? Can I fix my car if it breaks down? It's like, especially if you don't come from a wellto-do situation, you have to figure everything out on your own. You only have a bunch of to look forward to. And people look at you funny when you say, "I want to change that and I don't want to live that way anymore."

[00:14:59]That's what they did to me. And that's what's making me say that because when I said, "I'm going to quit my job."

[00:15:05]That video is still up on Tik Tok. They un I don't know why. I think there was a upgrade that Tik Tok made bars that like took away all of the pinned videos cuz I didn't unpin that video. Yeah. It was like 50/50. 50% of the people was like, "Man, I'm rooting for you. I want you to do it." The other 50% is like, "Oh man, you're crazy. this this economy is crazy. You're stupid. You're dumb. And I'm just like, you didn't care about my finances before I did this. Why do you care now? Like genuinely, you tell me that I'm stupid for quitting my job and taking a shot on my talents, on the things that I want to do because my finances are going to be in jeopardy, but you didn't care about it before I did this, right? You you genuinely did not care before I did this. So, why are you doing this now?

[00:15:47]That's neither here nor there.

[00:15:49]But all in all, man, it's just it's a it's a long road. It's a tough road, right? I think the road is a lot more tough than it is long because what we tend to do is we tend to convince ourselves that the things that we want in life just take so much time. I challenge that. I feel like a lot of times it doesn't take as much time as we think. You know, I feel like it doesn't take as much time as we think because we spend most of that time wondering how long it's going to take when we could just be putting in the work and applying consistent pressure to the things we want until it ultimately comes to us or it meets us in the middle. Nobody ever thinks about that, right? Nobody ever thinks about that.

[00:16:37]I do. I think about it a lot. I think about a lot of things. Think about things I can't control. Think about things that I wish I could control. I think about certain people. I think about certain things. Think about my life, what my life could have been like if I didn't go through a lot of things.

[00:16:53]I, you know, but at this point, it's like there's really no point in fixating over that because what can I do? I can't change anything. I can't do anything.

[00:17:03]What's done is done. I would never say you shouldn't think about these things.

[00:17:06]I'd say you should use it as a reference point for how to better your life and your situation, but I wouldn't allow it to dictate everything you have going on.

[00:17:16]Just keep your head up, keep working on yourself, keep doing what's right for you, keep putting yourself in the best possible position to win. And then eventually eventually the crack in the wall is going to start to show. You get your hammer and you just keep knocking away at that wall. And eventually that wall going to come crumbling down. And on the other side of that is every single thing that you've ever wanted.

[00:17:39]And I can't be convinced otherwise.

[00:17:42]I can't be convinced otherwise.

[00:17:49]I can't be convinced otherwise.

[00:17:56]Angle is good. What if we were to move it down in like YouTube land? This is not like the best thing to do because it's like, oh, the first 5 seconds of your video needs to be pulling and all that. Hey, look here, man. If you like the videos, you like the videos. If not, I can't really control that. I can picture this window as where the phone is mounted, right? This this one's right there. I have the phone mounted in this area. It's giving me this angle that you see now. So, I'm going to move it down to like right here, and we going to see what that angle look like. This angle is good, but it's like I'm I'm concerned about this right here, you know, cuz cuz this area is where all the sunlight and stuff is coming out. So, if I'm driving and the sun is like aiming directly in this direction, like kind of how it is right now, the recorder is right here.

[00:18:44]We're just going to rock with this angle for the time being anyway. Uh yeah, man.

[00:18:48]I recorded this already and I wasn't really feeling, you know, what I was doing.