Car Talk #1813: You Can't Go Back

Added: 2026-05-25

[00:00:00]Hello and welcome to Car Talk [music] from National Public Radio with us Click and Clack, the Tappet brothers, and we're broadcasting this week from the preponderance of evidence division here at Car Talk Plaza. Now, you may remember a few weeks ago we were talking about your income taxes.

[00:00:13]>> My income taxes? You're talking about my income taxes on the air? Did you give away my 10 secrets to infinite deductions? NO, NO. NO, NO. I MEAN I MEAN your income tax. We were talking about ways our listeners could reduce their income tax.

[00:00:26]>> Oh, that's easy. You just don't pay your income tax.

[00:00:28]>> [laughter] >> No, no. We were talking about charitable deductions. You remember this? And how if you make a pledge, for instance, you have to subtract the actual value of any gift you receive in exchange for that pledge.

[00:00:39]>> Yeah, I mean that's we know that. I mean Right. And the only exceptions, according to the IRS, are items of {quote} insubstantial value. So, we said that basically if you gave money to your station and received anything that says Car Talk on it, then that would automatically qualify as an item of insubstantial value, right?

[00:00:56]>> I Well, I I would think so.

[00:00:58]>> Well, there was some debate about this apparently at the IRS. We've generated some some interest.

[00:01:02]>> They're so picky. But we have more evidence strongly supporting our position.

[00:01:07]>> Exactly. This is an email that we got from uh Mario Riolo. "A week or so ago you were talking about the potential value of Car Talk related items with respect to the IRS. I thought you might like to take into account this little story in estimating the value of Car Talk items. The other day, someone broke into our car and took everything of value. Not that there was much there anyway. As we were milling around the car becoming more and more depressed by this invasion of our sacred space, my daughter noticed something in the bushes.

[00:01:39]What was it?

[00:01:41]It was our Best of Car Talk tape.

[00:01:45]>> [laughter] >> At first we were elated to know at least not everything was gone. Then we started to think if even low-down crooks don't want this tape, what can it be worth?

[00:01:55]>> [laughter] >> So, the IRS is on very, very What's the word?

[00:02:00]>> Shaky. Shaky ground. I have a follow-up to that here. Even better.

[00:02:05]You guys blew it again. This is from Gary Liebling.

[00:02:09]>> [laughter] >> What you failed to realize is that Car Talk premiums might have negative value.

[00:02:15]Ooh. Suppose that for a $100 donation, you sent one of those t-shirts to somebody. And what if you had to pay someone, say 50 bucks, actually wear that stupid-looking t-shirt? If I made a a the donation of $100, my deduction would be $150. 100 for the contribution, and the 50 that someone I have to pay someone to wear it.

[00:02:37]>> it. The wearer's fee, yeah.

[00:02:39]It says and it ends with, "Feel free to use this brilliant observation in any way you want. I'll write to you in prison."

[00:02:45]>> [laughter] >> Who's going to be in prison, him or us?

[00:02:48]We rest our case.

[00:02:49]>> We rest our case. So, IRS, GET LOST.

[00:02:54]>> [laughter] >> WHAT'S YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER, ANYWAY? I'M JUST SO the IRS will have an easy time of BR11341127.

[00:03:00]That's not your Social Security number.

[00:03:02]>> [laughter] >> Hey. That was your number when you went AWOL. Did they ever find you? They never found me. They never did, huh?

[00:03:08]>> looking for me.

[00:03:10]They don't know. PRIVATE MAGLIOZZI.

[00:03:13]EVERYBODY WILL GO on pass this weekend except Private Magliozzi.

[00:03:18]>> [laughter] >> Where is Sergeant Mc- Mc- I forgot his name.

[00:03:23]>> McNeely. McNeely, thanks.

[00:03:25]>> [laughter] >> He's probably in the old soldiers' home.

[00:03:27]>> He's probably in the >> He's probably been in a rubber room ever since he had you as a recruit. Where are you, Sergeant McNeely, from Fort Dix, New Jersey?

[00:03:36]>> He's got a big drool, I think. He's drooling. [laughter] He's probably roaming the streets of of Wrightstown saying, "EVERYBODY WILL GO ON PASS EXCEPT PRIVATE MAGLIOZZI."

[00:03:46]>> [laughter] >> IF YOU LIKE TO TALK to us, our number is 888-CAR-TALK. That's 1-888-227-8255.

[00:03:55]Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Ruth calling from Cincinnati. Hi Ruth, what's up? Well, we have a beautiful 1968 Chevy Malibu that was given to us and it doesn't have any headrests and we would really, being safety conscious people, like to put some headrests in it. Is it possible to get headrests?

[00:04:12]>> Oh, just slouch a lot.

[00:04:14]>> [laughter] >> Move the seat all the way back so you can't reach the pedals.

[00:04:18]See you later.

[00:04:20]Slide right down to reach the pedal. I I like that solution. That's very good.

[00:04:23]Next caller.

[00:04:24]>> can't just plonk headrest the headrest have to be attached to something. But you can you can replace the seats.

[00:04:30]So you can't there's no headrest that you can have put in?

[00:04:34]>> No, you can't I don't think you can add the headrest to the existing seats. So you're going to have to go for the seats with with headrests on them. But there were cars of that vintage that had headrests. I mean not not for safety reasons necessarily, for styling reasons. Right. So you might be able to go to a junkyard. I mean a seat is as a seat is a seat within certain limitations. What what are the limitations? Well, how wide the seat is.

[00:04:56]Okay, then there's Does it have bucket seats or the floor doesn't isn't unlimited? Right, the way it's attached to the floor. That's that's the That's easy, I mean No, how whether or not you can close the door after you've installed the [laughter] new seat. That's a that's a larger consideration.

[00:05:09]>> problem.

[00:05:10]>> a Okay, the way it attaches to the floor is there are bolts that go through the floor that attach the rails on which the seat is adjusted to the floor. Uh-huh.

[00:05:17]But you can drill more holes. That's no problem. Sure, drill them right through the exhaust system. Or the brake lines, the gas line. You're not going to do this yourself, Ruth. You're going to have somebody do it.

[00:05:27]>> Yeah, I got it that.

[00:05:28]>> But it is possible. Okay. It's it's the kind of job that every mechanic you go near will say, "Oh, Ruth, get out of here. What do you What do you need headrests for?" So you're going to have to find some Samaritan who's willing to go really looking for the right parts and it's going to It's a pain in the neck type job.

[00:05:45]>> Aha, no pun intended. Otherwise our front seats going to be Chevy blue and our back seat's I mean our front seat's not going to be Chevy blue. Our back seat is going to be Chevy blue. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Then you have to go down to the local discount store and buy the zebra seat covers.

[00:06:00]They go with the fuzzy dice. They go with the You have You have the fuzzy dice? Not yet. Well, you better get on the stick. Get the fuzzy dice. They're yellow. Okay.

[00:06:07]>> And they'll go great with the zebra seat covers.

[00:06:09]>> Well, actually, my brother just recently came back from the international car seat convention. Seat cover convention, excuse me. Car seat cover convention, right. And how was that? I mean where where the convention in fact was in Cincinnati. No, no, no. It was in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan this year. Oh, that's right. He goes every year. My brother does not go out of town except for the seat cover convention. I mean they must have discussed this issue at one of the technical papers.

[00:06:34]>> Ze- zebra and tiger in, so I'd go for those with you. You'll be way ahead.

[00:06:37]You'll be You'll be at the the top of the social roster in Cincinnati with those seat covers.

[00:06:42]>> Okay, but we have to have one headrest real bad, huh? You're going to have to want them real bad, yeah. You're going to have to want them bad, that's right.

[00:06:46]Okay. Go for it. Thanks. All right.

[00:06:48]Bye-bye. 1-888-CAR-TALK or 1-888-227-8255.

[00:06:54]Hello, you're on Car Talk. This is Dave Chaplin. Hi, yeah. I'm pretty good. I'm calling from Eagle Grove. Eagle Grove?

[00:07:01]>> Eagle I like the way you said that, Dave, the way we automatically would just know where that is.

[00:07:05]>> Oh, don't tell us. Eagle Grove, that's certainly uh mid-south.

[00:07:11]Eagle Grove, Eagle Grove >> Indiana.

[00:07:14]>> Like yeah.

[00:07:15]>> I'd go for that. A little farther west.

[00:07:16]A little farther west. Eagle Grove, California.

[00:07:19]>> [laughter] >> Where? Iowa. Uh Iowa. Oh, see I Okay. That's close enough.

[00:07:26]>> know that. No, I never heard of it.

[00:07:28]>> [laughter] >> Anyway, uh are you near any Never mind.

[00:07:30]You're in Iowa. You ain't near nothing.

[00:07:32]>> [laughter] >> So You know what is near? Chicago. So, what's up, Dave? Well, I've got a '72 Buick Skylark.

[00:07:40]And the heating went out on it. Turned out to be the uh um Heater control valve. Well, it's a thermostat. Oh, that's that's even easier. That's different. It just dripped it out. And it was replaced. We left it for quite a while though. The heat didn't work for about a year.

[00:07:54]And then we had it replaced.

[00:07:56]You Iowans are a tough lot, you know?

[00:07:58]And patient.

[00:08:00]So what happened was when we turned the heat on, we got these billows of white vapor out of there. Uh, out of where?

[00:08:07]Out of the heater.

[00:08:08]Out of the heating vents. Yeah.

[00:08:10]And it condensed on the windows and stuff like that and kind of smelled noxious and nobody really has any idea what it is.

[00:08:18]Well, who have you asked? Like your poker buddies?

[00:08:21]>> [laughter] >> Well, the the Buick dealer that I got it repaired at and some other people who work on cars.

[00:08:27]You got you got white smoke coming out of the heater vents? Well, it's I I wouldn't call it smoke. It's um It's not white. It's not smoke. It's some type of vapor it condenses on the windows.

[00:08:37]Mirrors maybe? Yeah.

[00:08:40]Sure. And these guys don't know what this is? No. Is it is it have an oily feel to it? Yeah. Sure. If you dare to taste it? Uh, I haven't tried tasting It's deadly poison. Don't taste it.

[00:08:50]>> No, you can taste it. It's deadly poison only if you drink it. Yeah. Okay. Well, you can taste it. It's going to do nothing inside of you. Don't swallow.

[00:08:57]Hey, there are enough pollutants already around. He's going to read he's going to read those by one part per million.

[00:09:02]Concentration of ethylene glycol.

[00:09:04]>> Well, I mean I suspect that your problem originally was not in fact the thermostat at all.

[00:09:10]>> Oh, yes it was. Yeah, it was. No, because I mean the problem that you currently have you could have had then too.

[00:09:17]You currently have a leaking heater core. Is that what it is? Well, when you when you say you had no heat for a year.

[00:09:23]Right. Did you ever turn Did it affect your brain at all?

[00:09:25]>> [laughter] >> Did you ever turn the heat on during that year? Oh, yeah. And And what would happen? Uh, nothing. It would be cold air.

[00:09:33]Okay. Did anyone disconnect the the hoses during that time? Not that I know of. All I couldn't guarantee it. You couldn't guarantee it. So, when you went in to have this fixed, Mhm. all that was done was that a new thermostat was installed and it was pronounced fixed.

[00:09:47]Fixed. And are you sure it was the thermostat? How much did it Excuse me, how much did it cost to fix it? Boy, now that's a real good question.

[00:09:54]>> Isn't it? That's a real good question.

[00:09:56]>> Was it under $35?

[00:09:59]Uh I'd say it was it was a little over $35. Over $35. I I would suspect that it was not the thermostat.

[00:10:06]>> Oh, really? And that my brother was in fact right. It was the heater control valve.

[00:10:09]>> Oh, okay. And probably what was wrong with the heater control valve was it was stuck shut. Mhm. So, hot water was never getting to the heater core. Oh, okay.

[00:10:18]>> Which was a little bad news and a little good news. The bad news is you weren't getting any heat. Right. The good news is that the thing wasn't leaking. Okay.

[00:10:24][laughter] Okay. Cuz no no antifreeze was getting to it.

[00:10:28]>> So, I traded one problem for another.

[00:10:29]>> they fixed it and now you got terrific flow through a nice thing that's got holes in it. Okay.

[00:10:34]>> so you have heat and moisture, too. I'm sure. Yeah.

[00:10:37]>> So, what you need to do is replace the heater core. Okay. And and these guys ought to be >> hurry, though. I mean, you can do this next year. Mhm. But I mean, this thing will leak. So, you you what you need to do is make sure you shut off the heater.

[00:10:48]Well, better than that, take the hoses that go to the heater if you don't want to replace the heater core right away and have somebody just run them together so you bypass the heater. Okay. And then before next winter comes, leave yourself a note on the dashboard, "Dear Dave, fix [laughter] heat."

[00:11:03]Okay. This is I mean, if you wanted to do this yourself, it it's a pain in the neck job. Mhm. But it's a lot of it is labor. So, you could save a half the money, probably, and maybe more if you felt like crawling around on your back underneath the dashboard >> Right. Ask ask yourself what you'd rather do for the next three Saturdays, uh sit around, watch the baseball games, and and drink beer or lie underneath the dashboard with your head jammed up under there trying to fix the heater.

[00:11:27]>> [laughter] >> The Detroit Lions The former, eh?

[00:11:31]Well, but that's your problem, Dave.

[00:11:32]>> Okay. See you later. Thanks for your call. All righty. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

[00:11:36]1-888-CAR-TALK or 1-888-227-8255.

[00:11:41]Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, guys. My name's Chris. Hi. I'm from Keystone, Colorado. Actually, I'm from Chicago, but I've been in Keystone, Colorado for the last 4 months. And my Ford Ranger pickup has been sitting on the street for 4 months now, and I have no idea Well, I know what to expect a little bit. I know it's dead, and I know that I only have three tires working on it right now. So, um other than the obvious, I need a jump and a new tire.

[00:12:10]What else am I going to need to do to get this thing up and going? Chris, [snorts] and you're from Let's see, you're in Colorado, but you're really from Chicago. That's a problem. I'm going to go with the CH. Oh, me, too.

[00:12:23]Okay, very good. Yeah? Yeah, good guess, guys.

[00:12:26]>> So, you just abandoned this vehicle in Colorado in Chicago? I did. What part of Chicago is it in? Maybe it's gone by now.

[00:12:34]I'm North Sider. I'm in Rogers Park, which is as far north as you get in the city. Okay, well, it might still be there, then. Yeah, it it is there. I have had witness accounts that the vehicle [laughter] Nothing is left inside the back of the truck, but the truck itself is still there.

[00:12:49]>> All right. What were the conditions under which it got to be there?

[00:12:52]Well, um I came out to Colorado to be a ski bum for the season, and so, uh I just left it in front of my apartment building. Oh, you did? Yeah. And it was running. I mean, you drove it there and parked it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the car was running when I left for Colorado.

[00:13:09]>> Oh, cool. You didn't leave it running, did you? No, I [laughter] turned it off, and I made sure there was a full tank of gas so that the gas line wouldn't freeze. Yeah. Okay. So, what's the big deal? So, that's it. You don't I mean Now, one of the tires is flat. Yeah. You must have a spare. You call AAA. They put the spare on for you. Uh-huh. You turn the key and >> think I'll necessarily need to get, you know, give it a tune-up right away and change the oil and Well, no, I don't It's only a Ranger.

[00:13:39]>> [laughter] >> I mean, let's not get carried away here.

[00:13:42]Yeah, you're right.

[00:13:44]No, you will find when you go back to drive it, when you do get it started, the brakes are going to make some horrendous noises. They're going to be grinding because they've built up rust on the brake discs and the drums and Uh if if nothing else, yeah, I would probably get the oil changed. Uh-huh.

[00:13:58]And and I would have them just throw it up on the lift and take a look in general to see if anything is is awful.

[00:14:03]Yeah, and I mean, when it starts, don't rev the heck out of it. I mean, let it just start, turn the key so it starts, keep your foot off the gas, Mhm. and don't step on the gas for a second or two. And just put it into drive and let it go by itself for a for a half a minute and then step on the gas and drive and then you're done. Don't worry about it. Oh, great.

[00:14:24]>> So, you're going back? When are you going back? I'm going back home Thursday. No kidding. Yeah.

[00:14:30]>> So, you've been skiing for the last 4 months? Yes, I have.

[00:14:34]>> What what what what college do you teach at? I don't. It's actually I'm I'm a pipefitter.

[00:14:42]In Chicago. Really? Yeah. And we had a slow winter and I thought I'd come out and I'd pretend like I was in college again.

[00:14:50]>> were no pipes fit to be fit and you had to get to make your So, you escaped for 4 months? I know, is that amazing?

[00:14:56]>> I can't believe there wasn't one pipe that needed fixing in 4 months.

[00:15:00]>> Not that she cared about. Well, yeah, don't get me wrong. I did look real hard for them.

[00:15:04]>> somebody else will fit these pipes if they need to. I'll be skiing. Exactly.

[00:15:08]>> do you fit, like steam pipes? Yes, exactly, steam. Cool. Yeah. Yeah, boy, I you know, you never I would never have If you had told me, I'll give you 300 guesses As to what, Chris?

[00:15:19]>> I do for a living, >> Yeah.

[00:15:21]pipefitter would have I think would have been like 302. Yeah, [laughter] there's Yeah, there's 302. You had it down. But yes, there's not a lot of lady pipefitters. That's That's for sure.

[00:15:32]>> Oh, YOU'RE A LADY. YEAH.

[00:15:34]>> [laughter] >> THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS CHRISTINE. Maybe I didn't make that clear.

[00:15:40]>> No, no.

[00:15:41]>> [laughter] >> Jeez, I mean, how many people would just drop everything, leave the truck parked in front of You didn't even bother to drive the truck. No.

[00:15:50]>> You just ditched I am envious of you.

[00:15:53]You are quite a woman. Well, thank you.

[00:15:56]>> many like you around. Boy, oh boy, oh boy. And and maybe next year we'll do it in Australia. Wow. Yeah. Well, Christine, it's a pleasure speaking to you. Well, thank you, gentlemen. It's been good talking to you, too.

[00:16:09]>> you're not too shocked when you have to go back to work.

[00:16:12]>> No, no, she's ready. But call us in Australia next year. Okay, great.

[00:16:16]>> See you. All right. Thanks for calling.

[00:16:18]Bye-bye. Now, before we give the answer to the last week's puzzle, we have to take a short break so we can go to Let's think this is a really bad April Fools' joke whenever they hear us say it. This is NPR.

[00:16:30]Hi, I'm Guy Raz.

[00:16:31]>> And I'm Mindy Thomas.

[00:16:32]>> And together, we bring you Wow in the World.

[00:16:34]>> NPR's podcast for families. Every week we explore wild and new scientific discoveries.

[00:16:40]>> We also ride a bird.

[00:16:42]>> We also ride a bird.

[00:16:43]>> Find Wow in the World on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[00:16:49]>> [music] >> Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack, the Tappet brothers, and we're here to talk about cars, car repair, and of course, the answer to last week's historic puzzle.

[00:16:59]>> First, the question. What was it about?

[00:17:01]Folklore?

[00:17:02]I don't remember what it was.

[00:17:03]>> either. Give me a hint.

[00:17:05]I have no idea. I do know that this came via the internet from a fellow named Dan Gallagher.

[00:17:11]Date is June 19th. I remember that.

[00:17:14]Here it is. I'm just going to just read what old Dan sent us us, I I couldn't have improved it. Go ahead. In qualifying for the Camel Trophy off-road race, potential drivers were told that they had to match the lap time of their partners as closely as possible without the use of timepieces. So, no wristwatches or clocks or anything really. You couldn't You couldn't use a a pendulum in the car, right? Or or or pendula. For example, the first man of the two-man team would drive the course through the woods, over bridges, to grandma's house, through the streams, and then return to the starting point and give his truck to his partner, who would then drive the same course and try to finish in the same time.

[00:17:51]Right? Yeah. So, the first guy finishes the course in like 4 minutes and 29 seconds. The second driver would try to duplicate that. You got You with me?

[00:17:59]We're on the same page?

[00:18:00]>> Yeah, I I'm with you.

[00:18:01]>> But how could he do that without the use of a clock or a watch? And this has nothing to do with a string and a lighter, but I said it's close.

[00:18:09]It's close.

[00:18:10]>> was the hint.

[00:18:12]It's close. They were not allowed any timepieces, per se. Per se. But it doesn't mean you couldn't measure time somehow if it weren't with a timepiece.

[00:18:21]Right. I mean, you could use the sun.

[00:18:23]And I'm sure people were trying to think of how to use the odometer or singing a song. You could do that. They could sing the Star-Spangled Banner. Oh, ouch.

[00:18:31]That's good. It would be pretty good.

[00:18:33]>> thought of that. But better than all of those is you turn on the windshield wipers. Oh. And you count the swipes.

[00:18:41]Wow.

[00:18:42]>> And you can't get a better timepiece than that.

[00:18:44]>> That's good time unless you're in the MG.

[00:18:48]RIGHT.

[00:18:49]>> [laughter] >> WHO'S OUR WINNER?

[00:18:52]>> THAT'S VERY GOOD. AND THE prize this week goes to Julie Johnson from Washington, D.C.

[00:19:00]All right. All right. [laughter] And for having her answer selected at random from among the thousands of correct answers that we got, Julie is going to get a $26 gift certificate to the Shameless Commerce Division at cartalk.com, where she can get her mom a copy of our Mothers and Cars CD collection called Maternal Combustion.

[00:19:20]Actually, a gift like this might be better for your mother-in-law. You know, nothing says, "I'm not really that fond of you." like a Car Talk CD. Don't you think?

[00:19:29]>> [laughter] >> Well, that's that's true. Anyway, we have a new puzzle coming up in the third half of today's show. It is not automotive, but it is locomotive uh oh, folklore historic and and uh locomotive >> locomotive in nature.

[00:19:45]>> crazy cars. Kind of.

[00:19:47]>> [laughter] >> Anyway, if you'd like to call us, the number is 888-CAR-TALK.

[00:19:50]That's 888-227-8255.

[00:19:54]Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Gloria from Lexington, Mass. Hi, Gloria.

[00:19:59]Hi. I have a general question. Yeah.

[00:20:01]General Motors question?

[00:20:03]Maybe. Many years ago, I had trouble with my uh transmission in another car.

[00:20:10]And the auto mechanic told me, after we replaced it and all that, that it was good to not back out first thing in the morning.

[00:20:20]Uh you should go forward >> Oh, jeez. Another one of Well, that makes it a real problem if the garage happens to be in the >> how many car How many houses are there with circular driveways? Who is this nut?

[00:20:30]>> No, he's contended you should back in at night. Or just forward a little and then back out. You know, it is No, you're No, you're not listening. He says, "Pull forward a little bit." I know it doesn't matter what he said. This is another one of those strange little old wives' tales that get passed on from mother to daughter and father to son.

[00:20:49]>> Let's find out why Let's find out the reason, you Gloria.

[00:20:51]>> he's right, Gloria. Go ahead, tell me the rest. Well, that's That's the The question is uh is that true? And if so, um why has no one else ever heard of it?

[00:21:01]>> It is absolutely true, and no one has heard of it because this guy is probably incarcerated now. He's in Florida. He's in Florida.

[00:21:08]>> That's what I said. He's probably [laughter] Now, let me tell you, he was very good.

[00:21:13]He never made a mistake. Never made a mistake.

[00:21:16]In other words, we should we should give this a little bit more serious thought than just this flip cavalier >> was his contention was that you put wear and tear in the transmission every time you change direction.

[00:21:28]So, when you back out of your driveway and then >> No.

[00:21:31]Well, this is what he could If you're going to go forward first, you're going to change direction an extra time.

[00:21:36]Well, he says obviously something he [laughter] notices about going in reverse. Obviously something he knows that he thinks the rest of us don't know. Do you have his address in Florida? No, but his his son still uh still are my mechanics, but I don't dare ask them. Oh, jeez. Are they in Lexington? Yep.

[00:21:51]>> So, let me get this straight again. He His contention is that even if you're going to back out of your driveway, you should put it in drive first.

[00:21:58]>> That's right. Inch forward an inch or so, and then put it in reverse and back out.

[00:22:02]>> is, I've not had any trouble with my Well, it's because you you don't own the same kind of car. The car that you had the transmission replaced on was a 1980 GM car one kind or another, right?

[00:22:15]>> It was a Buick Special, but this was this was Wait a minute now. And it was that the last GM car you owned? I don't know. Oh, you don't know. Wait, did he I have another question here. Did he make this comment in the context of an automatic transmission or a manual transmission?

[00:22:34]>> Automatic.

[00:22:35]Why why would it have affected a manual I was working on that guy.

[00:22:39]>> [laughter] >> Didn't have a satisfactory answer, and therefore I was afraid to ask the question.

[00:22:42]>> I could almost >> What if she'd said it was manual?

[00:22:44]>> What if she'd said it was manual, then I could almost believe that he might have not been as wacko as we're making him out to be.

[00:22:50]Because it is much more difficult to get into reverse gear when the car is revving, and you will grind up gears trying to put it into reverse.

[00:22:58]>> Well, that is true.

[00:22:59]>> Whereas, if you first put it in first or second.

[00:23:03]Right?

[00:23:04]Then you would be able to get it into reverse more easily.

[00:23:07]>> Well, it's a moot point because he was telling her to do this with her automatic and maybe he just thought it it it was applicable to automatics and standards alike.

[00:23:16]>> See now, it may be that this his This is good. This is how you trace back science. This guy developed this rule when he was 20 years old. This guy now is in Florida, I presume, because he's retired. Why else would anyone go there?

[00:23:29]He opened the businesses. He's rich.

[00:23:31]That's why.

[00:23:32]>> [laughter] >> Yeah. So, he just transferred this rule, which does make sense in the context of a manual transmission, to automatic transmissions where it makes no sense whatsoever. It doesn't. And no one has ever That's why no one has ever heard of it.

[00:23:47]>> It is only someone with the intimate knowledge of automatic transmissions, which I happen to possess, which who would know that this doesn't make any sense in the automatic transmission.

[00:23:57]>> with an automatic transmission [laughter] of late, and that's how he's gotten intimate with it, so to speak.

[00:24:01]That's right. But Gloria, we haven't a clue. Right. We will put our technical associate and advisor, John Lawler, on this immediately, and we'll come up with an answer. Stay on the line, and he will get the name of this mechanic and his address in Florida, and he's got the tickets, his bag is packed already. He's going to go down and do an in-person interview.

[00:24:21]Thanks for your call, Gloria.

[00:24:23]Bye-bye. You know, if we sat here in this room for a million years >> If we have.

[00:24:28]>> [laughter] >> which it does seem like now, we could never come up with the comments and questions that people I'm not worried about the I'm worried about coming up with the answer. The comments and questions come from the other end.

[00:24:38]That's no problem. It's the answers that we have to struggle with. It's the questions that intrigue me. The answers are of no value. You know why? Cuz the answers are out there somewhere. Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hey guys. Hi, who's this?

[00:24:49]>> Mark from Malone, New York. Malone?

[00:24:52]>> From Malone. Where the heck is that? Uh about 75 miles from Montreal, Quebec. If if they Wow. If it's 75 miles from any place, then it is nowhere.

[00:25:02]>> [laughter] >> That's no That constitutes nowhere.

[00:25:04]Yeah.

[00:25:05]>> Yeah. 75 miles from where? Montreal.

[00:25:08]What's up, Mark? Okay, let me say you guys are are really great. I serve subpoenas for a living and while I'm out looking for these people, you guys are a great diversion. You really are.

[00:25:17]Well, so are you. As a matter of fact, I got a couple for you, too. I mean >> [laughter] >> Oh, no. Is that why you called? I got to find out where you are.

[00:25:25]No, you could serve them over the phone.

[00:25:26][laughter] >> Yeah. Now, listen, guys. What I got I got an '89 Chevy Cavalier with 175,000 miles on it.

[00:25:32]>> Wow. And while you're driving down the road, it acts uh like the fuel filter's dirty, that it's not getting gas, somebody's pinching the gas supply off, whatever. It'll chug. Uh and then it'll run fine for 7 or 8 miles, maybe even more, and then it'll do it again. And I recently the speedometer cable broke, and I noticed after a few days that the car ran perfect. When they hooked the speedometer cable back up, it went back to doing this thing.

[00:25:57]>> Impossible. What's going on there?

[00:26:00]Impossible. Well, that's what's happening.

[00:26:03]So, the speedometer get let me whoa >> Whoa, wait a minute. I I I I'm working on this.

[00:26:07]Uh the speedometer was disconnected.

[00:26:10]Correct.

[00:26:11]When the speedometer was disconnected, the speed is no longer being input to the computer.

[00:26:17]Mhm. Ooh.

[00:26:19]Now, what can we do with that piece of information?

[00:26:22]>> [laughter] >> Hold on here. Don't worry Mark. We're going to We're going to get this.

[00:26:27]Jeez. I mean, first of all, let's let's validate the this thing. I mean, you How long was that was it disconnected?

[00:26:35]Uh at least a couple of months. Couple of months? And normally prior to that, how often would your car exhibit these strange symptoms of the blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah All the time. ALL THE TIME?

[00:26:47]YOU GUYS ARE MY LAST HOPE. OH, that's too bad.

[00:26:50]>> [laughter] >> Did Did the UH DID THE CHECK ENGINE light come on in the in in when the when the cable was broken?

[00:26:56]No.

[00:26:57]No. Jeez.

[00:26:59]No more It's See, it's not that the speedometer is disconnected. The speedometer is also the speed sensor.

[00:27:05]Well, the speed Yeah, the speedometer cable I if on this car I Now, I'm I'm guessing because I don't see many of these cars in the shop. They're so reliable.

[00:27:14]>> [laughter] >> But I I I have a feeling that when this while this happened, when the cable broke, your vehicle speed sensor stopped getting an input from the from the cable.

[00:27:26]Which should have turned on the check engine light. Yeah.

[00:27:28]>> But that's probably broken, too.

[00:27:29]>> [laughter] >> And it may >> And it may be that you have a faulty VSS.

[00:27:36]Okay. But that is the only thing that I can come up with.

[00:27:39]>> So what? Why would that make it run bad?

[00:27:42]Well, if it's if it's sending a bogus signal to the computer, it's it's going to change the fuel-air mixture and the timing and all that. If in fact it's sending a bad signal to the computer.

[00:27:52]Ah. And when it when the thing is out of the loop, it goes back to basic settings. Right. And it assumes that the thing is broken or disconnected and it goes back to some I'm sure it didn't run great, but you might not have any way of knowing that, but it ran a lot better with the thing disconnected. Right. And that and that component out of the uh out of the circuit, so to speak. So, it could be Yeah. It could be the vehicle speed sensor is worth replacing. It's worth replacing.

[00:28:16]>> Okay, guys. Okay, now do you need any IRS advice? No, I do great in that area.

[00:28:22]You do? That mean That means you don't pay them or they think you're dead?

[00:28:26]Do you DO YOU DEDUCT YOUR MILEAGE? YES, YES.

[00:28:29]>> How were you able to do that in the two months that the cable was broken? You didn't like fake it, did you? No, I estimated.

[00:28:34]>> What's your social security number, [laughter] Mark?

[00:28:38]I I couldn't possibly give that out.

[00:28:41]See you, Mark.

[00:28:42]>> Thank you very much.

[00:28:43]>> All right, Mark.

[00:28:43]>> [laughter] >> Bye-bye.

[00:28:45]1-888-CAR-TALK or 1888-227-8255.

[00:28:50]Hello, you're on CarTalk. This is Liberty. Liberty.

[00:28:53]>> Liberty Valance. Now, that's that's going to be a name that you you were born in the 60s? No, I wasn't. I was born in 1980.

[00:29:01]Really? Yeah. Oh.

[00:29:04]>> [laughter] >> 80s, huh?

[00:29:06]>> Liberty. And are you from like um Philadelphia? No, I'm not from Philadelphia and I was not born on the 4th of July and my last name is not Valance. Or mutual.

[00:29:17]>> [laughter] >> Or mutual. And you're not you're not from California. No, I'm from Boise, Idaho. Your parents were from California. No. My mom is actually from New York.

[00:29:26]>> well, then the question must be asked, what were they thinking?

[00:29:30]Well, no, I like the name actually.

[00:29:32]>> Well, I do too, but it is unusual. They wanted something different.

[00:29:36]>> you Libby? Yes. Libby. Yeah. It's great.

[00:29:39]Well, thanks. Anyway, [laughter] what's going on? Uh first of all, I drive a 1990 Nissan 240SX.

[00:29:47]Okay, got it.

[00:29:48]>> Uh the first problem I'm having is my steering wheel, normally between the speed of 35 and 65, shakes back and forth. Got it.

[00:29:58]Bad. Really bad.

[00:29:59]>> Bad. That's bad.

[00:30:00]>> Yeah. That's potentially dangerous, but we'll get to that in a minute. Okay.

[00:30:04]>> Next problem. We'll we'll we'll do this on a triage basis. Okay. [laughter] Uh and the next problem is um oh, about 6 months ago I was having problems with my brakes squealing when I stopped. Yeah.

[00:30:18]>> So, I went and had my brake pads replaced.

[00:30:20]>> Yeah. And it still does it. Does it do it uh worse when you first start driving the car in the morning or is it worse other times? Uh probably when I first start driving the car. Okay.

[00:30:33]>> And every time you step on the brake, you you hear Exactly. And you haven't taken it back to have them look at it. No.

[00:30:42]>> I didn't. Why bother?

[00:30:43]Okay, the triage says we got to look at the the shaking business first. Okay.

[00:30:48]Have you had anyone look at it? No, I haven't.

[00:30:51]>> has it been doing it? A couple months.

[00:30:54]Oh. Oh, liberty, liberty. [laughter] This is actually I mean this is really dangerous. Oh, no. It's so dangerous that if it's been doing it for a couple of months, you should not drive the car again. Oh, no, you're kidding.

[00:31:06]>> Right. Could mean death. You've heard the expression give me liberty or give me death? [laughter] DEFINITELY BE WAITING FOR THIS.

[00:31:11]YOU YOU COULD HAVE a bad ball joint which is ready to fall off and and make the wheel come off the car. Oh, no. Or you could have a bad tire which is ready to strip its tread off and blow out while you try driving at 60 or 70 miles an hour. In either case, the potential of a grave danger here is is high. Yeah. You should always You should never forget about shaking steering wheels. Never Let's let it happen. Never ignore stuff like this.

[00:31:41]>> you got to really always look at that.

[00:31:43]That's really dangerous. Okay. And the squealing brakes, they can look at it at the same time when they have the car on the lift, they can pull the wheels apart, make sure that in fact there's nothing wrong with the brakes and I'm pretty sure there isn't and they may have to just deglaze the brakes and apply something called disc brake quiet to the backs of the pads and that'll stop that. Okay. Um I wonder I just recently got new tires for the back and I have the older tires on the front.

[00:32:11]Could that have something to do with the >> Yeah. Oh yeah, you could have had a bad tire on the back that you moved to the front and that squirm that you were getting when it was on the back was unnoticed because the steering wheel's connected to the front wheels only.

[00:32:22]Uh-huh. And and was the shaking coincident with that move?

[00:32:28]Uh not that I remember.

[00:32:30]>> Well, then I didn't make that association, but >> Okay, if you didn't make that association, then under no circumstances drive the car again. Okay. I'm serious about it. Have it towed to wherever you have things fixed and have them look at it. Wow, I didn't realize it was that serious.

[00:32:45]>> It's very serious.

[00:32:46]>> Thank god you called us. Thank god. See you. Well, thank you.

[00:32:50]>> Say liberty. Okay.

[00:32:52]>> Take care. Thanks. Bye-bye.

[00:32:53]>> calling. Okay, Tommy. It's time for us to take a little break so that our local stations can identify themselves.

[00:32:59]>> And our listeners can splash cold water on their faces and ask themselves, "What am I wasting my time listening to this fool?" Painted Easter egg of her radio, whenever she is, I'll say it. This is NPR.

[00:33:11]When CC Wong met his mom's new tenant, he never suspected he'd end up getting replaced as [music] a son, or that his replacement might have sinister motives.

[00:33:20]This week, Invisibilia looks at the things we don't say to our loved ones and the misunderstandings that can lead to. Listen on NPR One or wherever you get your podcasts.

[00:33:30]>> [music] >> Hi, we're back. You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack, the Tappet brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and the new What did I say? Locomotive. Locomotive.

[00:33:43]Puzzler.

[00:33:44]And it has nothing to do with trains.

[00:33:45]That's what I thought.

[00:33:46]>> I didn't Yeah, you knew that. Crazy cars. Locomotive. Oh, no, jeez.

[00:33:51]Does it? [laughter] No.

[00:33:54]Yeah. Okay. And as Chico Marx was fond of saying, I'd like to play one of my own numbers now by Victor Herbert.

[00:34:01]>> [laughter] >> I'd like to give you this puzzler in the style of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

[00:34:12]So, pay attention. I'd like everyone to close his eyes or her eyes.

[00:34:17]>> And imagine. Relax.

[00:34:19]Yeah. Okay. Imagine yourself in the English countryside. I'm there. You're feeling very sleepy. And if you're lucky, when you wake up, the puzzle will be all over you.

[00:34:27]You'll have missed it. I'm there, man.

[00:34:29]I'm on in English countryside. I'm I'm riding in a dog cart. Yes.

[00:34:35]It seems there had been a terrible accident in a suburb north of London and Inspector Lestrade had been sent to investigate.

[00:34:44]Sir Richard Ashcroft was dead and everyone agreed that it was an accident.

[00:34:50]Although some suspected it was a suicide.

[00:34:54]With all the There were all the problems that Sir Richard had had, you know, with the the non-existent copper mines in Chile and that and that thing with the with the Viceroy's granddaughter.

[00:35:04]We'll get into [laughter] that. Yes.

[00:35:06]Anyway, he'd been found on a rocky slope, his head dashed against one of the boulders and his mangled bicycle at his side.

[00:35:16]The facts seem to speak for themselves.

[00:35:18]Yeah. He'd lost control of his bike and it crashed.

[00:35:21]There had been no eyewitnesses, but finally an eyewitness emerged.

[00:35:27]Nigel, Sir Richard's trusted gardener of many years.

[00:35:30]Yeah. Yeah.

[00:35:32]All right, you you're you're paying attention. Now, there are lots of facts here that are going to obfuscate the thing, so We knew that. You did You unnecessary to state that. What And then there are some important pieces of information.

[00:35:46]Nigel Nigel appears so shocked by Sir Richard's death he had been unable to speak for several days, but haltingly he told his story.

[00:35:55]I was walking back from town up that long hill leading to Sir Richard's estate when I saw him riding toward me.

[00:36:03]Sitting straight up in his seat the way he always rode.

[00:36:08]And he was traveling at a high rate of speed. The Brits always say that, high rate of speed, even though we know Yeah.

[00:36:14]It's incredible.

[00:36:15]>> [laughter] >> When suddenly he jerked the handlebars to the left and off the road he flew to his death.

[00:36:24]Lestrade asks "Why didn't you come forward earlier?"

[00:36:29]He said, "I didn't come forward because Sir Richard told me he was taking his own life and he didn't want to shame the family.

[00:36:40]And I decided to keep his secret, but I could not keep it any longer.

[00:36:44]I had to tell the truth about it. I saw Sir Richard take his own life by flying down this road, jerking the handlebars of his bicycle to the left, going off the road to the left, crashing into a rock, and ending his life.

[00:37:03]Later that day, Lestrade is discussing the points of the case with his buddy, Sherlock Holmes, over cognac and a Arturo Fuentes.

[00:37:12]And Holmes says, "Bring the gardener in for questioning.

[00:37:17]He's the perpetrator."

[00:37:20]How did he know? Now, if you think you know the answer, write it on a postcard, or float it inside a fully assembled Pulsar whirlpool bath with built-in arm rest and contoured teak [laughter] bench seat, magic touch controls, and six turbo-powered jets.

[00:37:34]And send it to Puzzler Tower, Car Talk Plaza, Box 3500, Harvard Square, Cambridge, >> our fair city. MA 02238, or of course you can email your answer from cartalk.com, 1-888-CAR-TALK, that's 888-CAR-TALK, that's 888- 227-8255.

[00:37:55]Hello, you're on Car Talk. This is Liddell Cheatham from Naulains. Liddell?

[00:37:59]Yeah. L I D E L L?

[00:38:02]I had two D's. No. L apostrophe I D D?

[00:38:06]L Y D?

[00:38:08]Actually, it's just L A capital D E L.

[00:38:12]Liddell?

[00:38:14]Really? Yeah. From Naulains?

[00:38:16]From Naulains, N A U L L I N S.

[00:38:20]Got that. And your last name is Cheatham. Are you Are you one of the uh relatives of the members of our firm?

[00:38:27]You know, it's possible. I do have some relatives up in the New England area. Do you have an Otis Cheatum in the firm by any chance?

[00:38:32]>> I know. Sure we do.

[00:38:35]Yeah, we have an Otis elevator in our building, too.

[00:38:38]>> [laughter] >> Well, I got a question that's probably going to be real easy for you guys.

[00:38:42]>> Sure. We hope so. I had a hard time figuring this out and I'm a car salesman down here and I I just started in the business recently and I was talking to some customer the other day. I know the question already.

[00:38:55]Well, >> [laughter] >> what's that?

[00:38:56]>> Well, the question is should I go for the patent leather white shoes and belt [laughter] or the or the matte finish white shoes and white belt?

[00:39:05]>> No, no. This fellow isn't wearing any patent leather shoes. He's wearing cowboy boots.

[00:39:09]>> Or he may still be a trainee.

[00:39:10]>> He's a trainee, yeah. All right, go ahead. I'm sorry. It's okay. Yeah, I'm still a trainee, you know, but I I was spewing out these facts to this customer and you know, I started talking about so many horsepower, so many RPMs and so much low-end torque, you know. And you know, I basically know what that is in my head, but then the customer said, "What's the difference between horsepower and torque?" And I could not give them a a decent answer, even though I knew what it was and I I asked the mechanics at this dealership and nobody could tell me give me a straight answer. Well, you know, this is the danger in spewing out words that you don't understand, isn't it? I mean, that's what that's why people get named BS artist.

[00:39:51]>> [laughter] >> Because they're spewing out stuff that they have no idea what it means. So, my my way to avoid that is always honesty.

[00:40:00]Honesty is the only way. You have to say, "Look, I read in the book that it's got so many foot pounds of torque, but to tell you the truth, I have no idea what that means."

[00:40:11]>> [laughter] >> Yeah, that's what I've been doing ever since then.

[00:40:14]That's good. That's the best way That's the safest way out of it. I mean basically the difference between horsepower and torque, torque is measured in foot pounds and so is horsepower but horsepower is foot pounds over time.

[00:40:26]Huh.

[00:40:27]So that would be basically >> Isn't that exciting?

[00:40:30]>> [laughter] >> Doesn't that clear it up? No, it's the ability to do horsepower is the ability to do work. Uh-huh. Okay, over a given period of time, okay, and it's a horsepower is what? 33,000 foot pounds per minute.

[00:40:43]>> Huh. So if an engine can do that, it has a horsepower.

[00:40:46]Yeah, but see if you had kept your big mouth shut Labeouf.

[00:40:50]I mean if you hadn't even brought up the term torque. Yeah. Then they they wouldn't have been able to ask you what's the difference between torque and horsepower. Exactly, rookie mistake, you know.

[00:41:00]>> Rookie mistake, yeah.

[00:41:01]>> Right, I would stay away from that and I would gravitate towards THE COLORS AVAILABLE.

[00:41:04]>> [laughter] >> I'D SEND THEM IN THE DIRECTION OF THE Corinthian leather. Yes, I think so.

[00:41:09]Yeah. So how how is it selling cars, man? How long you've been doing this and and how have you been enjoying it? Well, I've been on the floor about 3 weeks. I just got off a a 2-week training period before that and it's quite an experience, you know.

[00:41:23]My first week I sold a car. No kidding.

[00:41:25]Yeah, it's it's a little little nerve-wracking at first getting in that closing booth. Yeah, yeah. Once you get the first one under your belt, you know, as long as I don't open my mouth about anything I don't know about. Yeah. Keep it simple.

[00:41:36]>> one under your white belt. See, I mean you you you are stuck here in a in a very difficult situation because I mean I said when I get myself into trouble I revert to honesty. Yeah. To admit that I don't know something. Yeah.

[00:41:50]To tell you to be honest and also to sell cars, it almost seems like it's impossible. I'm starting to wonder about that.

[00:41:57]>> [laughter] >> I mean we you know you may have heard of John Bugsy Sebastian Lawler who is our technical advisor on the show and he started out as a car salesman also and he admitted to us many years after the fact, of course, that whenever he said to a customer, "I've got to go check this out with my manager." Yeah, right. Right. He would then go into the manager's office, which was visible by the customer. So, he could see them talking. And he said what they were talking about was where they were going to go to lunch that day. But, it would be accompanied by a lot of flailing and very demonstrative conversation behind this closed door with the glass there.

[00:42:39]Yeah.

[00:42:40]>> [laughter] >> That's exactly what happened.

[00:42:41]>> Yeah. And and it would make you would have to make it look like you are pleading the case of the customer to the sales manager. So, remember that technique. That works very well.

[00:42:49]>> Yeah. They taught us that the first day of class.

[00:42:51]>> I'm sure they did.

[00:42:52]>> [laughter] >> Well, Ladell, good luck. Well, I sure do appreciate y'all. See you later.

[00:42:57]>> [laughter] >> Have a good one. Thank you. So, bye-bye.

[00:43:00]1-888-CAR-TALK.

[00:43:01]That's 888-227-8255.

[00:43:05]Hello, you're on Car Talk. Hi, this is Liz calling from Lovell, Maine. Hi, Liz.

[00:43:09]Lovell? Lovell? Lovell. Lovell? Like Jim Lovell? Like lovely Lovell. Oh, yeah?

[00:43:14]Yeah. L O V E L? L. L.

[00:43:17]>> Two L's. Yeah. That's what I wrote.

[00:43:19]Yeah. Where Where in Maine is that? Way up Maine?

[00:43:21]>> Um we're actually in the western mountains right outside the White Mountain National Forest.

[00:43:26]So, that would make it like near New Hampshire. Yeah. North Conway's about 45 minutes away. Right. Yeah. Got it. Got it. The best part of the state. I mean, we've done this little geographical / cultural survey. Uh Uh-huh. And and it's always it's always been amazing to me that we have these three states, Maine, New Hampshire, and Vermont, which are sort of near each other.

[00:43:47]>> Yeah.

[00:43:48]And yet the the state character of each of these states differs so markedly from the other two.

[00:43:57]And I've never really been able to understand how this could be.

[00:44:00]I mean, the people from New Hampshire are totally unlike the people from Maine.

[00:44:05]>> Well, I'll tell you why. First of all, >> Of course.

[00:44:07]>> they're they're they're divided by a natural boundary. I mean, they're a mountain people. Number one. Number two, >> people in Maine are seafaring people. A whole different kind of people.

[00:44:19]>> Maine. She's as far away from >> No, no, I No, no, I'm not a seafarer.

[00:44:23]I'm a dog sledder. Well, but you see, you really belong in New Hampshire. No, she really belongs >> to change the boundary. She may belong in Vermont.

[00:44:31]No, no, there's not as much dog sledding in Vermont as there is in Maine.

[00:44:36]>> Right now, there's been an obviously an intermingling of cultures, but the original maniacs were all seafarers.

[00:44:42]Yeah.

[00:44:43]>> They were all They were all transplanted Newfies and and and and other Nordic types that that found their way to Maine searching for warmer climates.

[00:44:54]>> [laughter] >> THEY DIDN'T THEY WANTED TO GO FROM SOME PLACE where it was minus 40 in the winter to only minus >> [laughter] >> 30.

[00:45:02]Oh god, why do we stop?

[00:45:04]>> Well, I I >> [laughter] >> I am amazed by all of this, and I'm There's a doctoral dissertation in here somewhere. I just don't know where. So, Liz, is that why you called us? No, no.

[00:45:14]I see now, people, they're all the same, they're all different.

[00:45:18]>> [laughter] >> What's up? Well, um it's uh let's see. I have 23 sled dogs, and I have a Toyota pickup truck.

[00:45:27]>> She wasn't kidding about the sledding.

[00:45:28]>> No, I was serious. And I haul my dogs around in this truck.

[00:45:32]What What kind of a truck is it?

[00:45:34]>> It's a 1990 Toyota two-wheel drive King Cab.

[00:45:38]Um and it has four extra leaf springs in the back. Oh, so it's a 1990. It's a It's a little Mickey Mouse truck. It's not a real >> Yeah, it's the only truck they made in '90. It's a It's a small truck. Yeah, dog sledders don't have a lot of money.

[00:45:50]>> You can't put all 23 dogs in the back of that.

[00:45:52]>> about 12 to 14 in the back. You can't if they If you want to anesthetize them.

[00:45:56]>> [laughter] >> Just stack them up like cord wood on top of the other WITH A ROPE.

[00:46:02]>> [laughter] >> IF I STACK THEM like cordwood and sell them like firewood.

[00:46:05]>> Yeah, you could do it. All right, you put some legs POINTING [laughter] EAST, SOME POINTING WEST, and then the one in the middle of the dogs, the legs POINT STRAIGHT UP.

[00:46:14]>> [laughter] >> AN- ANYWAY, >> Any Oh, yeah, you have a question. We're just amused by this, and I think it's wonderful that that someone has the time to own 23 dogs.

[00:46:22]>> Yeah, it's cool. Well, fortunately they earn their keep, but um But anyway, I um I've had this since its birth, this truck. Um and I am trying to decide right now if I should hang on to this truck and put some work into converting it into a flatbed, or whether I should upgrade. A flatbed? I would convert it to a flatbed so I could put a double-decker dog box on the back. I don't know if you guys have ever seen a dog box.

[00:46:49]>> Of course Well, sure. Yeah. Well, people ask me if I put pi- pigeons in it and stuff like that, and I tell them >> How heavy would this double-decker dog box be? Um right now, the one I use is uh 250 lb, so it'd probably be about another hundred And then you have about 750 lb of dogs. Yeah, altogether about a thousand. You got to get rid of this Toyota.

[00:47:09]>> Get it Get rid of it.

[00:47:10]>> And it's time for a nice F-150. An F-150?

[00:47:14]>> A real pickup truck. That's what I would do. As opposed to buying another Toyota or a Ford?

[00:47:18]>> I think you're going to have to go for an F-250 or 350. You need to go for Yeah, heavy duty.

[00:47:23]>> pounds is nothing. Yeah, but that's just the beginning. These dogs are going to get old, they're going to get lazy, they're going to get fat pretty soon.

[00:47:29]>> No, no, no. These thousand-pound dogs will be 2,000 [laughter] lb.

[00:47:34]No, no, they work for a living. They work for a >> I I hear them.

[00:47:38]Here is one. You want to say hi? Yeah.

[00:47:39]Yeah.

[00:47:40]>> say hi. Hey, say hi, puppy.

[00:47:43]Oh, yeah. [laughter] Well, and what do they do for a living?

[00:47:45]Do Can they say to you, "Want fries with that?"

[00:47:48]>> No, no, no. They take people on dog sled trips. They do? Yeah.

[00:47:52]>> Up in Maine there?

[00:47:52]>> Yeah, up in Maine. I'm going to come up and We'll you sometime, Liz.

[00:47:56]>> Yeah, they actually uh Can we >> do it like in June, July? No, no. In June, July, in August, I hook them up to the front of the truck and they they pull it in low gear. Well, Liz, you you you go go to your local Ford dealer and go go look at an F250. An F250?

[00:48:12]>> so. Used or new? You never buy anything new. Never buy anything new?

[00:48:17]>> No, not if you're from Maine. Well, I try not to cuz I don't have any money.

[00:48:20]Yeah, no, you can you buy a nice two or three-year-old one. Uh-huh. And it'll last you many many moons. Okay. Yeah, then you can cut the bed off with your torch and leave the bed in the front yard. Okay. All right. Okay.

[00:48:32]Thanks, Tom and Ray. Hi, Liz. The dogs say goodbye.

[00:48:38]>> [laughter] >> Thanks, Liz. Thanks for calling.

[00:48:40]>> Have a great day.

[00:48:42]We had some wackos today.

[00:48:46]Well, it's happened again. You've evaporated another hour listening to Car Talk. Our esteemed producer is Doug the Subway Fugitive, not a slave to fashion, Bumble Boy Berman. Our associate producers are David the Cavs of Belleville Green and Catherine Fra Bluecher Fenolosa.

[00:49:03]Our web lackey is Doug the Old Gray Mare, assisted by Connie Britchard, and our theme music is by David Dog Griswold. Our technical, spiritual, and menu advisor, just back from the Isle of Pines Poo Poo Platter and Spring Roll Invitational, is John I'll say it. This is NPR.