Parental Pressure Can Be CRUSHING To Trans People

Ajouté : 2026-05-05

[00:00:00]So, folks, I am back at it again with another wonderful call from the Transatlantic Call-in Show, a a show that I co-host over on The Line. I recommend you all go check it out, link down in the description below along with a link to the original episode where this aired.

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[00:01:47]And I hope you enjoy this call. All right.

[00:01:51]Let's Let's talk to Spectra, she here from New York.

[00:01:56]Spectra, you are live on the line with Dr. Ben and Riverboat Jack. What would you like to talk about today?

[00:02:03]Thank you. Can you all hear me just to be clear?

[00:02:07]Yes, we can hear you. Um First of all first of all, I want to apologize to Rebecca.

[00:02:14]I'm so sorry, Rebecca.

[00:02:17]So, basically, first of all, I want to thank you all, Dr. Ben, Lux, Jack. Like you guys So, like, I came out at my workplace especially by employer last week.

[00:02:32]And basically my colleagues are also nice to that. So, like, it's been really great and affirming me.

[00:02:42]Cuz I live in a blue state, but the thing is I am a legal immigrant.

[00:02:47]And so I I seriously don't know what I'll do in longer run.

[00:02:55]But I thought let's take step by step. I have been on HRT for over a year.

[00:03:04]And so, basically, when I came out my employer said like she's like when I told my employer that I've been on HRT for around over a year she was like very affirming, you know.

[00:03:21]But um So, basically, I come from a conservative country and when I and my mom's an RN.

[00:03:30]So, when I told my mom what happened is like she said like they love me and all, but and they said like they accept me, but don't take any hormones, don't get any surgeries done, don't tell anyone, and we love you.

[00:03:47]I was like, well, okay.

[00:03:50]That is weird. But like I see where they're coming from.

[00:03:54]But at the same time I was like I don't feel like myself. And so, since my mom's an RN, she sent me research after research about how gender-affirming care and hormone therapy can cause like put people on increased risk of cancer or basically the dissatisfaction rate and all.

[00:04:21]And so, like, she was discouraging me to start HRT.

[00:04:26]But I think here in New York it's really nice. And it's not New York City. I don't want to say too much, but it's not New York City, but it's the state of the New York. So, here with informed consent, thankfully, as an adult you can start hormone therapy and shout-out to Planned Parenthood of New York.

[00:04:50]And like these folks here are really helpful and understanding. And I started hormone therapy over a year ago.

[00:04:58]And now like my workplace is also fine.

[00:05:02]But I it's just that I'm not sure where things will go from immigration perspective.

[00:05:09]I don't go to Canada anymore because I feel like if I go to Canada, even though I have a visa, but it's like I don't want to be harassed at the border.

[00:05:20]Mhm. Especially since Trump won.

[00:05:23]So, like, when I immigrated Biden was president and I was like, okay, America is much more liberal and better country and I would be able to be myself. And now It's funny because I started hormone therapy the day Trump won.

[00:05:40]Like I started to think about it because I've even though I was thinking about it, but like I got my first appointment because I was like I have to be myself.

[00:05:50]Let's see what Trump do. Let's see what my parents do. But like I have to I'm so sorry if I'm speaking too much and Oh.

[00:06:00]I'm so sorry.

[00:06:01]Do you have any specific concerns that you want to run by us?

[00:06:07]I know I'm not an immigrant, so I don't I don't know that particular side of what you're going through.

[00:06:14]I know this is a really really rough time in the US at the moment. Is there anything specific that we can help you with on this front?

[00:06:23]Oh.

[00:06:24]So I don't know, but yeah, so I was in touch with few immigration attorneys. They didn't have anything much to say either because like they don't encounter my case very often.

[00:06:39]But I just wanted to point out about people who are like before I came out people used to be like very mean about my voice. Like they they used to say you sound like a girl or you sound like a gay or like stuff like that. And that was before while I was in the closet.

[00:06:59]And now when I break them out and they say such inverse. And suddenly people are like you sound like a man. Why do you sound like a boy and stuff like So, it's very like strange for me.

[00:07:11]Like when I was guy presenting the same people used to say I I sound like a girl.

[00:07:17]I don't know.

[00:07:20]Yeah, it it it feels often times like we are put in unwinnable situations where no matter how we try to make ourselves more palatable to folks, they they still like if they're not going to attack you from from that way, they're going to attack you from the other one. And it it you know, ultimately I you know, I've I've experienced similar similar things, similar attacks in that way. And um it it's one of those things where at the very least I can be at peace with myself and my identity when they're attacking me, unlike before when um I was I was not at peace with myself and my identity prior to my transition.

[00:08:01]And so hope hopefully you find a little bit of strength in that. Um as deeply unfair as the circumstances are.

[00:08:12]Also >> Yeah. You guys were discussing about bathroom laws. And I read about a similar case in South Carolina where a trans man was arrested for using female restroom and he was just following the law.

[00:08:27]And like he was arrested for following the law, I think, solely.

[00:08:33]I don't know what to say. Like crazy that I guess.

[00:08:38]Hopefully all of us would survive through this phase.

[00:08:45]I think but um I I hope And like you guys are doing a great job.

[00:08:52]And I I I listen to you guys. And before And like before I was contemplating if I should come out or not, but listening to you guys I realized that I'm not doing anything wrong.

[00:09:08]And it is what it is. And I have to be myself unapologetically.

[00:09:14]So, in that sense, you guys gave me I I don't think I have much questions, but it's just like I'm still coming out at my work. I came out on social media around 6 months ago. But on at my workplace I'm still coming out.

[00:09:31]Like social media as in like not with my Okay, so I have a social media account with my legal name which have like my friends and family.

[00:09:40]And like Mhm. And I'm on Discord and I'm out on Discord.

[00:09:46]There are some safe >> Yeah, I'm I'm sorry to interrupt a little bit.

[00:09:50]We have a bit of a time crunch because we have to go over to Jimmy's show after this.

[00:09:57]Um I I deeply empathize with your situation and I know it's not easy right now.

[00:10:04]Um I hope you're able to find some community uh and that the whole situation at least improves a little bit in the near future.

[00:10:12]Um but definitely if something specific comes up that you need uh advice on uh or some situation that you're having trouble handling, um feel free to call us back. Uh I think we're going to have to move on to the super chats in a second.

[00:10:25]>> Thank you.

[00:10:26]Thank you so much. Uh thank you so much.

[00:10:29]>> have a trans man from Turkey who's my best friend and like he's also in a similar situation.

[00:10:35]>> And he's from Turkey and he's here from Turkey and he's trans fan. So, I hope you'll stay together.

[00:10:45]Yeah.

[00:10:45]>> Yeah, that's great that you got some support. Um and I hope everything goes well for you.

[00:10:50]Uh Yeah, thank you. Have a great day.

[00:10:53]Thank you so much.

[00:10:54]>> for your time. And thanks for taking me.

[00:10:57]Absolutely.

[00:10:58]Well, here we are again.

[00:11:01]End end of the the episode.

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[00:12:05]I I don't know.

[00:12:08]I How How's your day going?

[00:12:10]Goo- good, I hope.

[00:12:14]This is a good outro.

[00:12:16]And I hope you all have a good day.

[00:12:20]Let's keep on going.

[00:12:23]Why was I vamp big for like for a whole minute? I don't know.

[00:12:27]Uh God.

[00:12:36]What? Shoe the bull back is coming to town. All the viewers [music] gather round. Twitchers, YouTubers, swishy streams, all that content is bursting the seams. Politics being toyed with, or sense of fashion you'll adore. So, grab your stuff and hop aboard. We're going straight to Jack the sword.

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