YOUR FAMILY MATTERS | 4 TYPES OF FAMILY BACKGROUNDS (PT. 1) | Relationship Today with Sam Oye, PhD

[00:04:21]Hardened hearts break relationships.

[00:04:25]When the heart becomes hard, the relationship that we do have between ourselves also becomes dysfunctional.

[00:04:34]Relationships cannot be healthy when the heart has become hard. When the heart stops bending, then the relationships we are in begins to break. When the heart is no longer yielding or yieldable, when the heart is no longer malleable, when the heart is no longer flexible, relationships will break. Marriages will collapse. Hardness of heart is not a personality type. So any kind of person can have hardness of heart. It's not a racial thing. So it's not for this kind of race or that kind of race from all the races we have on earth. Hardness of hearts you will find in all of those races. It's not an ethnic thing. It's not a color thing. It's not a geographical thing. It's not a thing present in Africa and absent in Europe.

[00:05:23]No, hardness of heart is a multi-generational, multithnic, multi-racial, multinational experience. And the major challenge with the hardness of heart is the resistance to change. The unwillingness to yield, the unteachable nature of the heart is one of the major things you find when you talk about hardness of heart. Hardness of heart is present when people become resistant to God, close towards people, unwilling to change, and then you find a situation whereby they begin to lose compassion, humility, forgiveness, teachability, and emotional intimacy. One of the things you need to know about hardness of heart is that nobody was born with a hard heart. The issue with hardness of heart is that it happens to people and sometimes the best of human beings end up with the hardness of heart cuz it's the more reason why the Bible says guard your heart with all diligence because out of them are the issues of life. So you have to learn to protect your heart. No matter what's happening to you, don't let it happen in you. And the reason is because once your heart can be infiltrated by what is happening around you, it can compromise the integrity of your heart. So the best of us can end up with the worst of hearts. One disappointment, one betrayal, one ignored conversation, one unhealed wound, one act of pride, just one at a time. And before you know it, the whole heart becomes hardened. A hard heart will lead to a hard fall. So the painful thing here is not that people did something bad to you. The painful thing is that you allowed something bad to happen in you. So what they did to you isn't as important as what you did to yourself by allowing what they did to you to alter the state of your heart. You used to be loving.

[00:07:36]What stopped you from loving? They took advantage of my loving heart. No, no, no. You were to protect your heart to become wiser in terms of how you relate to people. Don't allow people make you change your heart. Your heart is all you've got. That's why the Bible say you guard your heart with all diligence.

[00:07:54]Your heart is all you've got. The state of your heart determines your usability before God. How much God will do with you and through you is greatly dependent on the state of your heart. How did a fragile How did a loving egg like you are? How did you become all of a sudden so hardened, so heartless? Now you don't even care anymore when somebody's talking about my pain. You don't care because the other relationship has made something totally different out of you.

[00:08:29]God is not going to receive excuses from anybody from having a hardened heart.

[00:08:35]The only thing God wants to hear from you is give me a new heart. Give me a heart of flesh.

[00:08:42]The only gift God has for someone with a hardened heart is a heart of flesh. If you're married, listen carefully to me.

[00:08:51]If hearts become hardened consistently, heart is hard. One of the major things that leads to hardness of the heart is self-centeredness. A heart has to become hard before the heart becomes hardened.

[00:09:07]Your heart is more inclined to holding on to offenses than giving out forgiveness. A hardened heart is one that will rather respond with defensiveness instead of humility. A hardened heart will focus more on protecting my heart rather than pursue reconciliation. I don't want anybody to break my heart again. I don't want my my wife or my husband to break my heart again. So, I would rather distance. No, no. The Bible say we're called into reconciliation. And if there are reasons why you feel well, look, yes, I can reconcile with the person, but I need to reconsider the way I interact. Yes, we can become wiser in interaction. But there must be reconciliation because in the first place in 2 Corinthians 5 from verse 17 down to the end of it, the Bible says he has given us the word of reconciliation. He has made us the ministers of reconciliation. Marriage is supposed to be for the betterment of your heart. Don't let this earthly marriage damage the state of your heart and affect your eternal state. Mind your mind. Guard your heart. How do we go from the heart of flesh to the heart of stone? Number one, unresolved offenses, repeated hurts that are not processed, expressed will eventually become resentments. How do our hearts become hardened? Through persistent unforgiveness, refusal to forgive.

[00:10:39]Giving yourself reasons why this is an unforgivable thing. Forgiveness is not a gift you give to another. It's what you give to yourself. So unforgiveness imprisons you the most. How do we go into hard-hearted situations through what we call chronic conflict? When your relationship is filled with too much criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling, hostility, eventually if you're not careful, that kind of environment can penetrate your heart and alter the state of your heart. You can be in this world and not be of this world.

[00:11:17]Jesus was meed with rejection, but Jesus's heart remained intact. How do we go from a soft heart to a hard heart, ignoring the voice of the Holy Spirit?

[00:11:29]Every time the Holy Spirit tells you pray, the Holy Spirit tells you tell the person, "I'm sorry." The Holy Spirit tells you, "Go and apologize." No. No. I I I can't see myself doing that. After all, she was the one that she was the one that started it. After all, he was the one that started it. And the Holy Spirit is saying, "Listen, your father God was the one that was offended. God was offended. God was not the offender and the offended came to die for the offenders. Here are some of the signs, the symptoms you can use to know that your heart is gradually becoming stubborn. Your heart is gradually becoming hardened. Number one, emotional withdrawal.

[00:12:12]You are in a relationship, but because your heart is hardened, you are already withdrawing. Emotionally, you are disconnected with your partner. How do you know that there's already a hard heart in operation? Refusing meaningful conversations.

[00:12:28]Let's talk. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You have capacity for passive aggressive behaviors. You can express silent treatment. You can do that with all of your energy. Can we talk so we can get the situation under control? No. You hate meaningful conversation, but you love a hostile atmosphere.

[00:12:51]It's a reflection of your heart.

[00:12:54]Constant defensiveness. Every time we're trying to show, look at what you did.

[00:12:59]We're not saying that's who you are, but look at what you did. You go into a defensive mode. When conversation is going on, you interrupt rather than listen. You never admit your fault. You would rather explain it. If the only voice in your life is your voice and no other voice counts is a reflection of a hard heart. Hard hearts creates emotional distance in relationship.

[00:13:24]Emotional distance creates communication breakdown. Communication breakdown leads to loss of intimacy. Loss of intimacy increases conflict in the relationship.

[00:13:39]Increased conflict begins to lead to the breaking of the bond in the relationships and once bonds are broken then the marriage ultimately breaks down. How can somebody with a hard heart how can such a person become someone with a soft heart such that the marriage and the relationship the person goes into becomes a very wonderful one.

[00:14:05]Number one, the person needs to start with God because no man on earth can fix the state of your heart. Only God can.

[00:14:13]Number two, if you go to God and you want him to give you a a soft heart, then you must in his presence release everyone that you are upset at, angry at, bitter at. Lord, I release them.

[00:14:28]Number three, you follow it up by going to meet such individuals and tell them I let it go. There must be corresponding action. Number four, guard your heart by staying in the word of God. Guard your heart.

[00:15:07]special episode of uh relationship today. Glad to have you join us today because this is the day that the Lord had made and we will rejoice and be glad in it. I'm so excited that you are here and I hope you'll be able to reach out to your family members and friends because what you're about to hear today will change your life in actual fact.

[00:15:29]You need to get your family members, your brothers, your sisters, you need to get them on board because we want to get a little bit into your family, where you came from, where you come from. Want to talk about how family backgrounds, how they have effect, and how they can affect our lives, our relationships, and our marriages. Sometimes we are quick to blame our partners for being the cause of what actually they are the triggers of but not the real cause of.

[00:16:04]You know when you have a gun and the gun happens to be loaded with bullets and then someone pulls a trigger.

[00:16:13]Now the only reason why that gun will cause fatal effect is because the gun had been preloaded.

[00:16:23]All right? Same gun without bullets, if you pull the trigger, it has no negative effect. In essence, the lethal effect of a gun is because the cartridge is loaded. And so when triggers are pulled, it then creates colossal damage.

[00:16:46]In the same vein, when you've been loaded, you've been loaded, you've been filled with all kinds of past pains and you were raised a little bit in a dysfunctional environment. One of the things that that does is that a little trigger, you will be shocked how you react, how you behave, how you function.

[00:17:09]There's a more reason why today we need to go a little bit deeper into where we come from so that we may begin to even understand that our partners are not necessarily responsible for some of the things that we see in manifestations in our lives.

[00:17:28]We may have to start taking responsibility for our own actions. We may have to start taking responsibility for where we come from. uh in in some cases our partners are just the victims of what others were the cause of.

[00:17:43]So we want to get a little bit into the whole concept of family backgrounds today. And I want to talk about dysfunctional family backgrounds. We want to look at how they affect individuals, how they affect our lives, how we can break the pattern, and how we can build a new legacy. Listen, if it has come this far, it shall not go any further.

[00:18:10]You should be the end of it. You should put an end to the kind of pattern that produced you so that your children don't also become a reflection of an ongoing pattern that was allowed to survive you.

[00:18:30]In essence, you and I must become determinators.

[00:18:33]You and I must become the ones who say, "Listen, listen. I know it's come this far. I know it runs in the blood. I know it happened in my family. I saw a dysfunctional family. Dad and mom were emotionally divorced. Dad and mom, I didn't I I didn't like the kind of marriage they had. Uh they they are not my example. I don't want I don't want my marriage to look like theirs.

[00:18:58]I I love them. I honor them. But but but no, I I don't want their marriage I don't want my marriage to be like their marriage. I I I thank them for bringing me into this world. I thank them for educating me. But listen, I I I I saw too much in that marriage and I don't want to repeat the same kind of marriage. I I I see someone typing no more.

[00:19:25]I I I see someone saying no more. This ends here. It ends right now. I'm not going to be an extension. I'm not going to be a transmitter of that kind of marriage that I came out from. The kind of marriage that my parents had. I see somebody saying, "I am not going to be a transmitter no more." Oh, I love the way somebody put it. Somebody said, "I am the end."

[00:19:52]Don't you like that? I love the way you put a Gerald Dean. I am the end. I I think she's just preached my message today. Somebody needs to boldly write that out. I am the end.

[00:20:08]I I'm putting an end to this. I'm terminating this sequence. I'm saying no more. It doesn't have to continue. What I saw, I don't want to see again in my life. And I don't want to see in my grandchildren's life. I don't want to see it in my children's life. I don't want to reproduce the kind of family I came from. I I don't want my marriage to remind me of where I came out from.

[00:20:39]I I want I want something better than what I came out of.

[00:20:43]Is somebody typing that? That's my cry.

[00:20:46]I want something better than what I came out from.

[00:20:51]God bless you. I see all of you writing, "It ends with me. It ends with me."

[00:20:56]Glory be to God. It ends with me.

[00:20:59]No, no, no. It's not going to continue.

[00:21:01]It ends with me. Dysfunctionality ends right now. It It's not It's not going to continue. I reject I reject it uh with every fiber of my being. I reject this functionality.

[00:21:19]I I want a home where there's love. I I want a home where there is there's care for one another. I I want a home where there's respect for one another. I want I want a family where there is uh where there is mutual uh you know respect and and commitment towards one another. I I want a home I want a home that works.

[00:21:42]I want a home that works.

[00:21:45]I want a home that works. Reverend, it ends with my parents. I start a fresh. I love that. Oh, that's a new twist. It ends with my parents.

[00:21:56]Thank you so much for bringing that twist. It ends with them. I start a fresh. I I start something new. I start something new. It ends with them.

[00:22:09]I love them. I honor them. But it ends with them. that fight, the quarrel in the house, the noise, living like cat and mouse, emotionally divorced, not seeing dad and mom hug each other, not seeing them celebrate one another.

[00:22:31]No, no, no. It ends with them. It it it ends with them. It ends with them. I start a new Come on, somebody. I love it. I I start a new.

[00:22:46]Go ahead and Oh, hallelujah. Ooh, thank you, Emmanuel. Emmanuel just wrote something I love here. Emmanuel said, "I don't want my marriage to remind me of where I came out from." Woo!

[00:23:02]Isn't that amazing?

[00:23:05]I don't want my marriage to remind me of where I came out from.

[00:23:11]Thank you.

[00:23:12]>> Glory be to God.

[00:23:16]So, so you can tell that today is going to be very powerful, right? Reach out to your friends, reach out to your family members, invite as many as you can. Let them join us right now because trust me, you will wish that your brothers, your sisters, you will wish that they were here today.

[00:23:35]Hallelujah.

[00:23:37]I want a home. I want a home that my children will be proud of. I I want a home that my children will say, "Look, the least I want to have is the kind of marriage my parents have, but I'm going to take it from there." Wouldn't it be nice if your children will want to say, "Look, my father and mother's marriage will be my reference point.

[00:24:01]I'm going to start from there. It's going to be the benchmark.

[00:24:06]I'll build from there. It's the foundation. I'm not going to stay with that. It's the foundation.

[00:24:13]But what do you do with a foundation that is faulty? You want to destroy that foundation.

[00:24:19]Wow.

[00:24:21]Well, we're in for something great today. So, I'm going to be talking to you on uh overcoming dysfunctional family backgrounds. Uh fruits are always a reflection of the root. Write that down. Fruits are always a reflection of the roots. Every tree you see, the root of it will influence the fruit you find on the tree. So we always say if it's in the root, it will be found in the fruit.

[00:24:55]That the fruit is a reflection of the root. So we have mangoes or mango trees because mango trees have mango roots.

[00:25:11]You don't expect orange fruit on mango trees.

[00:25:20]You don't expect orange fruit on mango trees. No.

[00:25:26]Okay.

[00:25:28]But you can cut a mango branch and graft it into an orange tree. And guess what?

[00:25:37]Even though you have an orange branch on a mango tree, amazingly, you'll be shocked to find out that what you're going to have from the mango branch on the orange branch attached to a mango tree or a mango branch attached to a mango tree. If a mango branch is attached to a uh orange tree, what you're going to have is a reflection of the roots.

[00:26:05]So if it's in the roots, we always say to be in the fruit.

[00:26:12]If it's in the root, it will be in the fruit.

[00:26:17]The only time when you escape that is when you cut off, you cut off the branch from that particular root and attach that branch to another tree. And then the branch from a former tree begins to produce the tr the fruit of the new tree which is supposed to be what we experience as Christians because we are now grafted into Christ and we're supposed to produce the kind of fruits that is only traceable to Christ and not our families.

[00:26:52]The only reason why that is not always the case is because our minds are not renewed.

[00:27:00]So a teaching like what you're about to receive today is going to help you to have what you call the renewal of your mind.

[00:27:11]Let me share this with you. The first institution that God put on earth is not a church.

[00:27:20]The first institution that God planted on earth was not a government.

[00:27:27]The first institution that God planted on earth was not even the marketplace or the workplace. The first institution that God put in place starting with the man happens to be family starting with the head of the family. So family is important.

[00:27:49]No matter how successful you are in the world, you are not truly successful if you don't have a people you call your family.

[00:28:01]So ultimately family matters.

[00:28:06]Family matters because family is where identity is formed. Family is where character is developed. Car family is where values are transferred.

[00:28:22]Family is where you as an individual have your identity. That is where your identity is developed from.

[00:28:33]Family is so crucial because your character is developed in the family.

[00:28:39]Family is so critical because that is where you get the transference of values from.

[00:28:47]No child is racist.

[00:28:50]No child was born racist.

[00:28:53]Children learn to become racist in families.

[00:28:59]No child was born to hate somebody.

[00:29:03]Children learn to hate people from families.

[00:29:09]So many of the things we learn to do, even though we have the sinful nature, most of the things that we learn to do, we learned them from family.

[00:29:22]Family is very critical. Family is very powerful.

[00:29:27]And today the things that you're going to hear, well, everyone who is single here, I'm I'm so glad for the singles who are watching here today because this is really going to position you for a great family.

[00:29:41]Destinies are shaped in families.

[00:29:45]The potential to have a very successful family, the potential to have a successful relationship and marriage is also fostered in a family.

[00:29:56]So whether you will have a struggling or or successful relationship later in life, the foundation of it is in the family that you were raised up in.

[00:30:10]So family is very crucial.

[00:30:16]Somebody once said family is the first school. Family is the first church.

[00:30:22]Family is the first leadership academy.

[00:30:25]Family is the first counseling center.

[00:30:27]Can Can you believe what family is?

[00:30:29]Family is the first school you attend.

[00:30:34]Family is the first church you are exposed to. Family is the first leadership academy that you are also exposed to. Family is the first counseling center that a child is exposed to.

[00:30:50]So before life begins to coach you, before life begins to structure you, family begins to mentor you, family begins to train you. And so the Bible says, "Train up a child in the way he should go." So family is where training begins.

[00:31:15]It is very probable if an arrow will hit its target if when you bring it out from the quiver, it is already having a broken head. A broken head, a little bit of a wobbly wobbly stick.

[00:31:32]Once it is already dysfunctional from the quaver, it is very probable if it will hit its target.

[00:31:42]because it has been weakened and compromised before it was launched.

[00:31:49]The Bible calls children, the Bible likens us to be arrows within the quaver. The quaver is like the family where you come from.

[00:31:59]The bow is a type of your father and your mother, the string and the wood.

[00:32:06]And then children are like the arrows launched on them from them.

[00:32:13]And if the head of the arrow is already broken, it's going to wobble its way through destiny.

[00:32:24]So it matters where you come from.

[00:32:29]There are some kids that come from homes that have already created the foundation that will make life to be easy for them.

[00:32:41]And there are some of us that the Bible calls shoots from dry grounds. Your family background did not prepare you for an easy life. On the contrary, your family background prepared you for a very hard life.

[00:33:00]Never forget that as family goes, so does society goes.

[00:33:05]As family goes, if if a nation is dysfunctional, you want to check the families in that country. You want to check the marriages in that family in that country. You want to check the relationship between individuals in that country. You want to check the individuals themselves in that country because if individuals are dysfunctional, relationships will also become dysfunctional and their marriages will become dysfunctional.

[00:33:41]And the consequence of that is that families will become dysfunctional. And then you will notice that society is also dysfunctional and the nation at large is dysfunctional.

[00:33:57]If nations will become healthy and functional, then we need to have a situation whereby society is functional and healthy. And if that's going to happen, families need to become healthy and functional. And if families are going to be healthy and functional, then we need to have a situation whereby marriages and relationships and individuals are also functional.

[00:34:29]So strong families build strong nations.

[00:34:34]Strong families build strong nations.

[00:34:38]Weak families produces what we call wounded generations.

[00:34:44]When families are weak weak, when families are compromised, when families are dysfunctional, the only hope for children from such home is Christ, the word of God renewing their minds and transforming their lives. The only hope for a child from a dysfunctional family is Christ.

[00:35:10]The only hope for a child from a dysfunctional family is Jesus Christ in the heart of such a child and the word of God renewing the mind of such a person.

[00:35:25]Because the idea is that God created families to reflect his image. God created families to raise godly generations.

[00:35:37]God created families to be an environment where love is fostered, where security is present, where identity is properly shaped. The whole concept of family is to birth a generation that will continue to advance God's agenda. You and I know that most of our families do not reflect this ideal.

[00:36:05]So many were raped in the same family that was supposed to protect them. So many of us were abused by the same family that was supposed to love us. The first time we even got to know that we don't look good enough, it was from our families. The first time somebody ever looked at us and told us that we're not good enough was in our family.

[00:36:30]The first time that somebody looked at us and told us that we were not brilliant enough was in the family.

[00:36:39]The first time we got to realize that that we were not a match for others was in our family. When somebody use a comparative language on us, you know, you know, you think you are somebody, you've not met people who are better than you are. You know, it was in the family that we first began to hear things like that.

[00:37:00]I see somebody say, "Reverend, this is so true." Oh, can we get a little bit closer? It was in our families. We experienced the first molestation. Some of us, it was in the family. Somebody touched us indecently.

[00:37:16]Some of us were introduced to the concept of slavery in our own homes.

[00:37:22]The kings in us were destroyed and the queens in us were destroyed. The glory, the dignity that we came into this world with was stripped from us in our families.

[00:37:43]Oh my goodness. Some of us left family empty, bankrupt of self-esteem.

[00:37:49]Some of us left our family feeling less than the human beings. In fact, there are people watching me right now who were only praying by any means necessary to leave home. And it is the reason why some went into the marriage, some went into the marriage that they found themselves in. It wasn't because they they loved the person but simply because the person was an escape route or route from the family.

[00:38:21]I see someone say you are talking to me sir.

[00:38:26]Would you go ahead and share invite your friends? Let's let's get into this deep conversation today.

[00:38:32]what we came out from. We shouldn't get somebody else into where you came out. YOU MUST NEVER LET SOMEBODY GET into the kind of thing you came out from.

[00:38:45]You must do everything you can to make sure that what you experience, nobody else experiences the same again.

[00:39:04]So before God, before God established government, he established family.

[00:39:12]The family was his first solution to human loneliness.

[00:39:17]So God created family to make sure the problem of loneliness did not exist. But some of you will agree with me that some of us felt the loneliest in our family. In the midst of everybody, we were the most loneliest because the family did not create a room for for loneliness to be eliminated but for loneliness to be fostered.

[00:39:47]The first time some of us some of us became afraid of a human being was at home. when you began to become afraid of daddy.

[00:39:56]He He's supposed to be daddy, but he was the one you feared the most.

[00:40:04]The first time you heard very very terrible, insultive, abusive words was from mommy.

[00:40:13]When mommy looked at you and and she called you useless, she called you all kinds of names.

[00:40:26]Somebody said, "This is so deep. I can relate to this."

[00:40:30]You see, we we need Listen, we can't continue. We can't continue to live like like nothing happened.

[00:40:37]And here you are, if you don't stop to think about what I'm talking about today. You're about to go into marriage and you're going to reproduce the same thing because you never took the time to look at how damaging where you came from was.

[00:40:58]The first time some of us were introduced to selfdoubt was in your family. When you announced that you're going to become a medical doctor and somebody looked at you in the house and say you you of all people.

[00:41:14]When you announced you were going to be an engineer and someone looked at you and and and said someone like you think you qualified to be an engineer. It it was it was in your family you were introduced to self-doubt.

[00:41:35]Whilst this may not be the story of everybody, this is a story of majority.

[00:41:40]So if you didn't come from that kind of family, you had better just be grateful to you better just be grateful to God.

[00:41:46]Just give thanks to your parents. Send the text to them and tell them thank you dad and mom for the kind of home you raised me in.

[00:42:00]Families produce people and people develop society and societies that are developed translate into nations that are built. So ultimately families produce the people that build nations.

[00:42:18]Let me say something here. If the devil cannot attack your family, cannot attack your destiny, the devil will attack your family.

[00:42:31]If the devil cannot directly attack your own destiny, the devil will attack your family and use your family to attack your destiny.

[00:42:43]So when the devil could not stop Joseph from dreaming, what he did was to use his family to attack Joseph. Not only to stop him from dreaming, but to stop him from seeing the dream come to pass. They said, "Let us kill him and see what shall become of his dream."

[00:43:06]So if you're not careful, you're going to have a situation whereby the devil who can stop you will hijack your marriage and want to use your marriage or your relationship or your family to attack you.

[00:43:23]Don't forget it was the son of David that was used to get rid of David from the throne.

[00:43:33]Don't forget it was the wife of Job that said to Job, "Curse God and die."

[00:43:45]So in in most cases if if the devil notice that you are moving too fast and you are advancing and accomplishing so much and you still have so much to accomplish, one of the things the devil will likely want to do is to attack a child in the family to disrupt your peace, slow you down, and derail you.

[00:44:09]Number two, he will attack your spouse, your lover, and use your lover. Don't forget Jesus was in good relationship with Peter. Peter was very close to Jesus. And when Jesus set his face to go to the cross, it was Peter. It was also Judas that the devil entered in to stop Jesus.

[00:44:34]David said if these things I'm dealing with if there are things coming from outside he said it would have been a different kettle of fish. He said but I'm talking about the fact that the battle I'm dealing with right now is something coming from someone with whom I have acquaintance.

[00:44:56]It it it has to take someone who is close enough to kiss you to betray you.

[00:45:03]You didn't hear what I just said right now.

[00:45:06]You you you need someone close enough, someone who can be close enough to kiss you, to betray you.

[00:45:17]So the strategy of the adversary whenever he finds a high a high achiever, someone who is destined, a child that is destined for greatness, whenever the devil notice that this child is going to become a great one, particularly if there are prophecies over the child, one of the things the devil will do so early is to want to use the immediate family of the child to destroy the future of the child.

[00:45:50]Somebody says so true. It happened to me. My God.

[00:45:55]Somebody said they are using my husband right now against me. So true. Yes.

[00:46:02]I It is very important that you give attention to this thing called family.

[00:46:06]It is the more reason why you pray for your family. You pray for your relationship. You pray for your partner.

[00:46:15]Pray for your partner. Singles, the moment you get into relationship, start praying for the other person.

[00:46:22]You You're going to pray that God will cover the mind of your partner. You're going to pray that God will cover the mind of your fiance or your fiance.

[00:46:31]You're going to pray that God will cover the mind of your husband or your wife.

[00:46:35]You're going to pray that God will cover the mind of your children.

[00:46:44]Somebody said true sir I HAVE SEEN IT.

[00:46:46]PRAY THAT GOD WILL COVER THE MIND OF YOUR SIBLINGS.

[00:46:50]Pray for Listen. Are you aware that it was the brother of Tamer, David's son. It was the brother of Tamar, the only daughters of David. It was her brother who was used by the devil to destroy her future.

[00:47:13]He became satanically obsessed with his own sister and said he loved her.

[00:47:22]Invited her to his own house. She came in her innocence to serve her own brother and he took her, raped her and got rid of her from the house. And until that lady died, nobody had a trace of her. The Bible says she withdrew from the public life. She tore her robe of royal garments, her royal robes. She tore it and went into quietness for the rest of her life. One encounter from a brother silenced her future forever.

[00:48:02]THE DEVIL FIGHTS families because families raise destinies.

[00:48:09]The devil fights families because families raise leaders.

[00:48:15]If the devil can't attack the individual, the devil will want to use the family. If the devil can't use everybody in the family, the devil will use the most unlikely person in the family to attack the person.

[00:48:34]It was the brothers of David who hated him. His own brothers.

[00:48:41]When they saw David come to the b when he came to the battlefield, the Bible said they looked at him and they began to speak so harshly to him. They said the pride of your heart has brought you here. Meaning they they don't want him to be around them.

[00:49:01]Oh my goodness.

[00:49:05]Let me say this. Write this down. Every attack on your family is an attack on your future. Every attack on the family, every attack on individuals in the family is an attack on the future of that family.

[00:49:23]Think about what I've just said. Every attack on an individual in a family is an attack on the future of that family.

[00:49:30]Think about this. What if we didn't have Joseph in that family? What if we didn't have him preserved by God? What if he was not preserved? What if Joseph was killed and the famine came upon the earth? How will Jacob's family had survived?

[00:49:54]The existence of Joseph became the foundation for the preservation of Jacob and the nation of Israel. The existence of Jacob of Joseph.

[00:50:07]We all don't have an idea what role every individual in our family will play in the future in terms of our corporate existence.

[00:50:18]And sometimes the most unlikely in the family is going to be the one that will play a very significant role in the future. Who would have ever thought that number 11, number 11 will play a significant role in the preservation of number 1 to 10.

[00:50:42]As I'm speaking right now, you're going to start seeing why there's conflict in your family, why there's trouble, why you find it difficult to understand your brother, why you hate each other so much, why why you are at each other's necks, and and why you don't want to SEE EACH OTHER. WHY YOU DON'T want to why?

[00:50:59]Because the adversary is already sabotaging your future. You're going to get to a moment in the future wherein your brother will have played a role, wherein you would have played a role, but because of your absence, you will miss out on such a season. And it will weaken the ultimate expression of your potentials.

[00:51:21]Think of Egypt without Joseph and think of the nation of Israel without Joseph.

[00:51:28]Think of the fact that when Joseph was alive, they enjoyed favor. But as soon as Joseph died and a king arose who knew not Joseph, what happened? They suffered.

[00:51:45]You have no idea how that the absence of one of us may cause pain in our future.

[00:51:59]Your family background matters.

[00:52:03]Your family background matters. It can affect your relationship with your spouse. It can affect your relationship with your children. Your family background, where you coming from, the environment that shaped your beliefs, the environment that shaped your emotions, your behaviors, your family background.

[00:52:25]The first place where you were introduced to relationship.

[00:52:29]That family background where you had the first view of yourself, your family background where you were introduced to how to honor, respect, relate with human beings, your family background, the environment and the atmosphere that shaped you where you learned how to either honor or dishonor. Where you learned how to respect or disrespect. Where you learned how to trust or distrust. Where you learned how to care for or just BECOME SELF-CENTERED. WHERE YOU learned how to uh be forgiven or unforgiven. Your family background matters.

[00:53:30]An innocent man or woman may become the victim of how you were raised.

[00:53:37]If you don't deal with the negativities from where you come from, you will cause an innocent person whom you will be blaming for what is happening to you.

[00:53:49]You will be blaming the person not knowing that you were loaded like a gun from home. And this individual who is innocently relating with you, talking with you just the way the person likes to talk and the person doesn't know that the way he talks, the way he or she acts is triggering memories from where you come from. He is not the source. He is not the root of it.

[00:54:18]Where you come from is the root. This person is only ignorantly pulling triggers of a gun that is already loaded.

[00:54:34]Oh my goodness. Somebody is saying right now, Papa Sam, I am currently facing it in my house. My mom always used foul language on me and my made my made my sister her favorite. Whenever my mom says I'm useless, it makes me leave my house and stay outside and make myself happy. Can you see that?

[00:54:56]She is hearing you are useless from her mother.

[00:55:02]She's hearing that for the first time from her mom.

[00:55:05]And some of us have some of us have forgotten what we heard. But the point is it's still stored in our memories.

[00:55:14]It's stored in our subconscious.

[00:55:17]Except if the word of God has done a deep work in us to renew us.

[00:55:27]Your family background matters.

[00:55:31]Your family background matters. Listen, you have a choice in this matter. You can't resign your future. You can't resign your future because to your past.

[00:55:45]You You can't say I'm giving up on my future. I can't I'm giving up on the possible and a better future because of what happened to to me in the past. You can't resign.

[00:55:55]You have a choice in this matter. It is very true that you did not choose your family background but you can choose whether it will continue to have its effect through you.

[00:56:10]So the perpetuation of your family background's dysfunctions is predicated on your choice. I chose to say to myself, Sam, this will not continue in your life and this will not continue through you.

[00:56:30]You didn't choose your background, but you can choose your foreground.

[00:56:36]You didn't choose where you were born into, but but you can choose where you will live in and where you will choose to where you will want to end your life.

[00:56:46]So you can make a choice today. I see somebody writing, I choose.

[00:56:52]I choose a better home. I choose a loving home. I choose to have a loving family. I It's a choice you can have.

[00:57:02]You can choose to hold on to the past and excuse the past and excuse the fact that look, you know, this is me. There's nothing I can do. No, no, no, no.

[00:57:12]There's something you can do about it.

[00:57:14]Don't resign to the past.

[00:57:18]Don't give up on your future on the accounts of the complex nature of where you came from.

[00:57:26]It is very true that your family backgrounds, your family background explains you today, but but it doesn't have to define you.

[00:57:36]Your family background can explain you, but it can't it shouldn't define you.

[00:57:43]You can choose to decide how you'll be defined tomorrow.

[00:57:49]And today is very c crucial.

[00:57:53]The choice you make today will determine whether the past will keep explaining you or the future will be redefined.

[00:58:07]Oh, I see somebody say, "I choose. I choose to be a better version of myself.

[00:58:13]I choose to be a better man. I choose to be a better husband, a better wife."

[00:58:20]So, your family background, listen, don't miss this. Your family background includes the family's culture.

[00:58:29]And and you know, your family's culture is different from my family's culture, right? We can come from the same tribe and not have the same family culture.

[00:58:42]We can come from the same country but not be of the same tribe.

[00:58:47]We we we don't even have the same ethnicity.

[00:58:51]Now we we can come from the same tribe but we don't have the same family culture, our way of life, our predisposition to issues.

[00:59:05]It is very critical to know that our family's culture is unique to us. It affects us. It shapes us.

[00:59:15]There's a general tribal culture. There is a national culture but there is something we call our family's culture.

[00:59:27]And the beautiful thing the beautiful thing about culture is is that in most cases a culture doesn't have to be taught. They are caught.

[00:59:39]You you just watch you just watch daddy hugging mom and wow you just noticed that you love to hug too. family culture. You just notice in the morning we wake up, we just pray. You notice daddy, daddy, mommy praying. Well, you get on your knees. You don't know why they pray, but you two get to pray. It's it's called culture.

[01:00:01]It's it's an observable it's an observable approach to life. It's it's it's what undergards what to call social conformity. You are just conforming.

[01:00:13]There's what we call our family culture.

[01:00:16]Everybody wants to do their thing.

[01:00:18]Everybody wants to out compete the other. It's a culture. I'm trying to show you how that your family's culture has affected your future either positively or negatively.

[01:00:33]Where do you learn how to just want to be on your own and how to isolate yourself? Where did you learn that from?

[01:00:40]Family c. Sometimes you can't even tell where did I get that from family culture.

[01:00:48]your family's culture.

[01:00:53]Oh, thank you so much. I see some of you sending me gifts on on uh YouTube. Thank you. Singing for the Lord Jesus. Vivian, thank you for sending me gifts. God bless you. I appreciate that.

[01:01:06]I'm talking about family culture. You get to the United Kingdom, you find everybody want everybody taking tea.

[01:01:12]Yeah. And before you know, you start taking tea too. You get to the American culture, Starbucks everywhere. You don't even know when you start taking coffee.

[01:01:22]And then you get to some families. Then you begin to discover this that they also have their own unique culture.

[01:01:31]All right? So families have what we call family culture. Then they have what we call family values.

[01:01:39]Things that families hold so dear.

[01:01:43]things that families don't play with, things that things that families repeat consistently.

[01:01:54]Unfortunately, what some families value are terrible.

[01:02:05]What do we hold so dear in the family?

[01:02:10]We have family traditions.

[01:02:14]In every family, we have family beliefs that undergards our mindset. And then we have family expectations. And let's get down to the core of it all. There's something we call family secrets.

[01:02:29]He's going to push. That's it. You can see that. So, we have what is called family secrets.

[01:02:36]That That's why we don't tell our in-laws. That's why we don't tell we don't tell our we don't tell those who want to go and get come get married into our family. We don't tell them about our family secrets. Mental health challenges, we don't tell anybody.

[01:02:49]The fact that this is a very toxic family, we don't tell anybody.

[01:02:54]Family secrets.

[01:02:57]The the fact that in this family there's there's a trend towards premise uh there's a penchant towards promiscuity.

[01:03:04]We don't tell any family secrets.

[01:03:14]Follow me carefully. I'm taking you a little bit deeper today because look, I want to talk to you about the four dysfunctionalities.

[01:03:20]The four dysfunctional families that that you just want to pray that your family your family does not reflect you. You number one, you want to be sure you didn't come from such kind of a family. And number two, singles and married persons, you want to make sure that you never build that kind of a family.

[01:03:41]Family operates like a system. Family operates like systems.

[01:03:49]Because when you get into family, you have what is repeated.

[01:03:53]Systems repeat themselves.

[01:03:57]Because in family you find out that what is celebrated gets repeated.

[01:04:04]So if disrespect is celebrated in the family then it gets repeated.

[01:04:10]If lies gets rewarded and truth gets punished what do you think will prevail in that family? Lies.

[01:04:22]until the entire family becomes a lying home.

[01:04:27]If if a girl in the family, one of the daughters goes out there and and a young girl with no verifiable means of income and and and even when she has a verifiable means of income, uh we we can't match the income versus the lifestyle. And nobody in the family has the audacity, the courage to question how she leaves. On the contrary, when she comes back home, the elder brother collects money from her. She gives it to them. And and the father also benefits from it. The younger girls in the house will automatically begin to feel well since everybody celebrates my elder sister, my younger sister. since everybody celebrates her and she is the most and I know what she does because in families families have family secrets. So the girls normally share their secrets with one another.

[01:05:23]I I'm trying to show you how an entire family can become a corrupted and a wasted family.

[01:05:31]So when the father is celebrating a house that a daughter built for him and and and there's no verifiable means of how can we juxttopose what she earns with what she has built? Nobody talks about it. She buys a car for mother's birthday. Mommy praises God and mommy prays for her. The only question mommy never ask is where did she get the money from?

[01:05:59]I'm talking about the FACT THAT FAMILIES OPERATE LIKE systems and I'm saying to those of you who are going to be getting married, I hope you're learning.

[01:06:09]I I grew up in a family where if you go to school and you come back home, my mother will open your bag, pour out everything in the bag. And here's the game. whatever they did not buy for you.

[01:06:27]I if you dare come home with something you were not sent out of the home with, oh my goodness, my mother or my father will follow you to that school the next day and they will present you to the entire class and they will ask the teacher to request for who owns what you came to school with and pray that you didn't steal anybody's thing. You will be laid on the desk and you will be weeped right before everyone in the class. It It was that bad.

[01:07:04]So So such habit was not encouraged in our homes. I can't repeat it because it's not celebrated.

[01:07:12]Oh, somebody's just getting it now.

[01:07:14]Parents, parents to be singles, never forget that culture, good or bad, is fostered by celebration.

[01:07:25]You celebrate it, it will be repeated.

[01:07:29]If it's repeated and you celebrate it, it will continue until eventually it consumes the family.

[01:07:41]It only took Tamer. I mean, it only took Amnan. Amnan only slept with his sister.

[01:07:48]David did nothing about it.

[01:07:52]I'm I'm going to show you that kind of family very shortly. David did nothing about it.

[01:08:01]And guess what followed next? Abselum said, "Wow, it's like in this family, you're free to do whatever you want to do." So, what did Abselum do? Abselum carried his father's concubines and took them to the roof of the house and before the entire tribe of Israel, the entire nation of Israel, Abselum began to sleep with his father's wife in broad daylight.

[01:08:31]You see it was permitted in the house it has come to the rooftop.

[01:08:37]The point I'm making is anything celebrated in the family will be repeated.

[01:08:47]I have seen families where the mother will tell the younger one, you allowed your sister to do that to you. Why are you crying? You better say something else to your sister. Slap that person back. You don't let anybody treat you like that. What are we training them to become?

[01:09:10]When a child feels entitled, when a child begins to mommy, I want this, I want that, and a child is a child is denying others access to something they they should share. And you don't do something about it.

[01:09:27]And that child is one of the children you call your favorite favorite child.

[01:09:31]Favorites children. One of them.

[01:09:34]That's the one you celebrate the most.

[01:09:36]It is a behavior you are reinforcing.

[01:09:44]Don't forget what is celebrated gets repeated. What is tolerated gets normalized.

[01:09:54]This is so powerful. What I'm sharing with you today. I so many families will wish they know this things.

[01:10:02]What is tolerated in a family becomes normalized. You tolerate it. You normalize it.

[01:10:11]And once you normalize it, it gets repeated. It gets repeated. You celebrate it. It then becomes the norm.

[01:10:21]And never forget this parents. Never forget the single going to be getting married.

[01:10:26]Beyond what you teach, it's how you live. In families, what is modeled gets reproduced.

[01:10:37]What you model before the kids gets reproduced. It might not be today. It may be 20 years down the line. Let me give you a practical example.

[01:10:51]Elijah had a widow whose son died and Elijah came and laid on the child face to face, mouth to mouth and he resuscitated the child back.

[01:11:07]Years later, Elisha also had a woman whose son whose son also died.

[01:11:14]And guess how Elisha raised the boy? He also laid on the child mouth to mouth, breathed it into the child, and the child came back to life. It's the power of modeling.

[01:11:30]He saw Elijah did that or read about it or heard Elijah did that.

[01:11:36]Remember the disciples of Jesus Christ how that the Bible say they followed him into the house of Jirus, the ruler of the synagogue. And when they got into the house of Jirus, the Bible says that they saw that Jirus daughter was dead.

[01:11:53]And when Jesus got in, follow me. Follow me carefully. When Jesus got in there, the first thing Jesus did was to get everybody that was crying out of the house.

[01:12:05]That's the first thing Jesus did. And then when Jesus had gotten rid of everybody that was crying, guess what Jesus did? turned to the girl and he said to her damn cell I say to you arise titakumi years later Jesus was not around and then Peter was invited to the house of Doras Doras Lydia at this time had died and when Peter entered the house get what he guess what he found he found people crying what did he do he he got everybody out and turned to Lydia Dus and he said the same things to Doras. Docus I say to you arise. Where did he learn it from?

[01:12:49]Jesus.

[01:12:51]All right.

[01:12:53]Never forget that what you are taught, what you are teaching is not as important as what they are catching.

[01:13:04]So don't think that your actions don't think that your actions are less compared to your words. You are heavy on words and very careless with your actions.

[01:13:18]Forgetting that they only hear 10% but they focus more on what they see 90%.

[01:13:27]So they are being shaped. We were being shaped by what we saw, not just what we heard.

[01:13:40]Mhm. They they we watched dad and mom slap each other, fought each other. We were watching. And yet they finish all of that. The same dad who slapped mom is now coming to preach to you about love.

[01:13:55]And you are confused. your life. Who's talking about love?

[01:14:01]Family is a system.

[01:14:04]What is celebrated gets repeated. What is tolerated gets normalized. What is modeled gets reproduced?

[01:14:15]And I'm talking to the men in the house.

[01:14:17]How did you learn how to slap? Did you learn that from Jesus?

[01:14:21]How did you learn how to abuse, dominate, and control a woman? Where did you learn that from? Was that part of the fruit of the spirit? Was it a gift God gave you? If it didn't come with salvation, how comes with the Christ you have on the inside? You still can beat, you still can insult, control, abuse, demean.

[01:14:46]Where is that coming from?

[01:14:51]I thought you should be regenerated now.

[01:14:54]So, how is it that a bornag again you still has the potential, the ability to do that? Your mind still holds the memory and the picture of what it saw.

[01:15:05]So, the word of God needs to work on the mind.

[01:15:17]So, children learn so much. Children learn more from what parents leave out than what parents say out.

[01:15:27]So, so focus more on modeling than sermonizing.

[01:15:33]You wake them up to do morning devotion and you spend one hour teaching them the Bible and few minutes after that they watch you treat people with some of the worst attitude and and the kids are wondering what did we what what did we spend the whole one hour doing this morning?

[01:15:54]And here is this man who is supposed to be my father who who who is very mean, not loving, not generous. He taught us about a generous God, but he's not. He taught us about a loving God. He is not.

[01:16:08]He taught us about a God who is forgiving, but he is so full of vendetta.

[01:16:21]Yeah.

[01:16:23]Don't forget that patterns you repeat becomes cultures you live in.

[01:16:29]Patterns that you repeat becomes ultimately the culture that defines your environment.

[01:16:37]And culture once it becomes fixed decides your destiny.

[01:16:44]So whilst you are busy thinking about a glorious and beautiful destiny and you're not giving attention to a dysfunctional culture, a dysfunctional culture will swallow the strategy you are having to get to your destiny. That is the reason that was the reason why with all the beautiful prophecies on the family of David everything was ruined.

[01:17:09]Think about Solomon.

[01:17:12]David did not stop that behavior when Amnan He didn't stop it in himself.

[01:17:18]David became an immoral man. He didn't deal with it. He modeled it. Amnon did it. He lacked the capacity to confront Amnan because he did he does the same thing. He was washed off.

[01:17:35]David was the type that would sleep with the wife of a a loyal man to him. A man that goes to the battlefield to die for David, David will not protect the wife of such a man. David will on the ground of pleasure violate a woman take advantage of a woman whose husband is on the battlefield dying for him.

[01:17:57]Little wonder when his own son too took advantage of uh his own sister who also came to serve him. Can you see what David did to an outsider? has been done within the house.

[01:18:12]And then Abselon said, "No, it's not going to stop there. I will take all of your concubines, my father. I will take your concubines and I will disgrace you publicly before the entire nation." I slept with them. And Solomon said, "No, no, no. That's not going to be the end.

[01:18:26]I will make it a thousand times more."

[01:18:31]And by the time we get got to Rahobam, everything David built just went down.

[01:18:41]cultures repeated can eventually foster a strong destiny or eventually weaken your destiny.

[01:18:51]The beautiful thing is that Christ can redeem all of us. He can redeem us from the nature we'll inherited and the nature we were given.

[01:19:03]Every family gives you two things. Every family we came from, everywhere, everyone watching me right now, give me your attention. Every family we all come from gives us two things. Nature and nurture.

[01:19:18]So your family natured you and your family nurtured you.

[01:19:24]Nature is what you inherited from the family. It's what you inherited.

[01:19:30]Genetically speaking is what you inherited. your height, your looks, your complexion, your predisposition in terms of your your your psychology, the way you think and all of that. Most of these things, your genetic coding and the rest of that, your DNA, all of that nature.

[01:19:48]But then we have what is called nurture.

[01:19:50]What you learned, what you were exposed to.

[01:19:57]And let me say this, you may have inherited certain certain tendencies from your family. You may have inherited certain things from them. You may even have been nurtured in a particular way.

[01:20:07]But you don't have to continue in that direction. That's why we are on this platform today to let you know that in Christ you can begin a journey that causes you to depart from their nature and from their note.

[01:20:23]You don't have to perpetuate the nurture that you got from your family and the nature that you got from your family particularly observable nature things from your family that has negative effect in Christ you can deal with that.

[01:20:46]Oh my goodness. Wow. So there are four dysfunctional family background types.

[01:20:54]Four of them very dangerous family background types. Four dysfunctional family background types.

[01:21:03]This will totally change the way you look at family.

[01:21:08]Number one, my goal in attempting to deal with this is to ensure every single watching me, every single man watching me, number one, my goal is to ensure that you never get to produce or reproduce such kind of a dysfunctional family.

[01:21:29]Number two is to ensure that every married person who is already creating such who already has such a family can quickly recognize the damaging effect of such families and know the right steps to take in order to walk away from such so you can build a healthy family. Our time is gone and I must respect it. But I'm going to come back tomorrow and as soon as I come back tomorrow, uh, our major focus will be on this subject.

[01:22:07]We're going to start with the four dysfunctional families that have ruined the lives of so many today on earth.

[01:22:17]So many relationships are in a mess because of the nature and the nurture that came with them from the dysfunctional families that they came from.

[01:22:30]I'll be showing you what this dysfunctional families what they look like. I'll be showing you how they impact on children from such families.

[01:22:39]Number three, I'll be showing you how they affect those children, such children later in adults lives in adult lives. So much so that those kids who have now become adults also get to perpetuate that in their relationship and eventually reproduce the same kind of family they hated.

[01:23:03]Oh, it's going to be very serious here.

[01:23:06]And listen to me, the beautiful thing is that we will come to a a beautiful end.

[01:23:12]We're going to see at the end of it how to escape that kind of a family.

[01:23:18]How to build a beautiful family that will be introducing us to the parenting style that will introduce you to the kind of parenting style that builds a lovely home. A home where the greatest thing you want to hear from your children is, "I'm proud of my dad. I'm proud of my mom and my mom if there's anything I want to be in this life I I just want to be like my mom and I want to be better than her. I mean the greatest trophy a child can give to you is that is is when a child looks at you and say you are my inspiration.

[01:23:52]You are not the zenit. I I am not seeking to end like you but but listen I I love everything I've seen from you and I want to take a lot from you to start my life. your your life your life provides me with the ingredients with which I would love to start my life. But when a child wants to cut you off possibly possibly even cut cut physical contact with you when a child wants to even change your name as a father he doesn't want your name to be associated with him. When a child whenever a child hears your name your phone call sees you are calling your your child doesn't want to pick your call because of memories.

[01:24:41]So we're going to be teaching you tomorrow one. What do you do if you find yourself in a dysfunctional family? Are you supposed to run out of the family?

[01:24:51]No. I'll be telling you what to do. I'll be sharing with you first how to recognize one of the four deadly uh dysfunctional families that affects relationship in marriages that affects even the lives of people from such places. I'll be sharing with you how to recognize such one so that you can remember if you came out from such or you are building one of such.

[01:25:19]And if you're already building one of such, what can you do to stop everything and start a fresh and build with the kind of materials that will enable you build a healthy family? The beautiful thing about life is that you can always pause and tell your kids, I'm very sorry. I've just realized that I've been going about it the wrong way. Kids, please, everything I've done up till this moment is not a good example for you. Watch and see daddy now. You will see a new me. you will see a new mommy and we're going to do something totally different. The greatest thing kids can get from their parents is to have their parents come clean and say, "Look, we've not gotten it right. We didn't get it right, but we're going to get it right."

[01:26:02]I look forward to connecting with you again tomorrow. And by the grace of God, as usual, I'm going to create room for questions and answers. And I know a lot of us will have questions.

[01:26:13]You we're going to open up the Zoom link tomorrow. So, you're going to have time to ask me questions of any kind and I will be more than willing to answer your questions uh tomorrow. So, tomorrow we'll be back same time on this platform. I know you will want to Oh my goodness.

[01:26:34]Reverend Sam, I'd like to watch it again. Yes, you can watch it again. You can watch this. You listen. You need to watch it again. There too many things I've said. You need to listen to it again and again in order to get the best out of it. All right, tell me how you feel. Uh, was this a blessing to you?

[01:26:52]Did this help you? I like you to type text. Let me know how much of a blessing this was to you. Uh, just what was your takeaway?

[01:27:02]I'm going to give you 60 seconds. I want to see the fastest fingers. What was your takeaway today?

[01:27:09]I'm going to be looking out. I'm going to read the first five I see on Facebook, the first five I see on YouTube. What was your what's going to be your takeaway today? I want to see the fastest fingers. Uh somebody's somebody's sending me flames fire.

[01:27:27]That's great.

[01:27:29]Thank you, sir. I'm following and I'm learning. All of you who are in Ghana, I'm going to be coming into Ghana September 26. All right. I'm going to be coming into Ghana by the grace of God September 26. Uh and that will be at the Action Chapel, Action Chapel International, Bishop, Bishop Duncan Williams Church. That's where we're going to be hosting our family breakthrough conference for single single parents and married couples.

[01:27:59]We're going to be having our first ever conference in Ghana. It's going to be September 26 and people are going to be coming from everywhere.

[01:28:09]And let me say this on August 13 and 14 I will also be in Ghana at Takuri the oil rich city. I will be with Bishop Assari. So take note all of you are in Ghana in the Takarati region. I will be there in Ghana by the grace of God. I will be coming to Malawi also later uh in the year. So those of you who are texting from Malawi, I will be coming to Malawi. America, if you are watching in America, we are going to be hosting our family breakthrough conference for the USA on September 5.

[01:28:46]So USA, if you're in the United States, get your ticket. It's going to be in Atlanta, Georgia at the City of David.

[01:28:55]City of David. RCCG, the Redeemed Christian Church of God. City of David, Atlanta. I'm going to be there. Dapoa is going to be there with me. Dapua la is going to be there. It's going to be a great time uh to have this great experience. So, all of you are in the United States, tell your family members who are in the United States to get their tickets and get ready to join us on September 5, 900 a.m. in Atlanta, Georgia. London, I know you've been asking for when will it be your turn. We will be with you in London September 12th.

[01:29:31]So London is going to be your turn September 12th. So take note of that.

[01:29:36]All of us who are in London, we're coming to you September 12th. We'll be announcing to you when we're coming to South Africa uh later uh in the course of this program. So hey, we're coming to a city close to you by the grace of God.

[01:29:54]Uh, Zambia, we will let you know when we're coming to Zambia by the grace of God. I see your comments. Awesome. Get to listen to them again. Watch this.

[01:30:06]Wow. Can't wait for the grace. Yes, we're coming to a city close to you.

[01:30:12]Uh-huh. Every negative pattern, family pardon ends with my parents. Very good.

[01:30:17]Family culture. I'm learning a lot from you, man of God. Thank you so much for that. God bless you all. So hey, it's great you are learning from me. My greatest desire will be that you let somebody else know that you are learning. So copy the link, share it with your friends and let them join us tomorrow. I look forward to connecting with you. Until then, this is me saying to you, hey, listen, get this.

[01:30:43]This is one of the best materials I'm sure you've not held in your hands. All of you who are married, I'm sure you've not held in your hands in a long while a book that attends and deals with the major challenge among married persons.

[01:31:02]Emotional divorce. We are in the same house, but we don't share the same emotions. We don't share the same feelings. We don't care about each other anymore. Gradually, we are drifting from each other. We go to the same church. We bear the same name, but our hearts are no longer connected.

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[01:31:22]You're going to see a video that will be playing right now and that video will show you the number to call. It's a WhatsApp number. Once you call that number, you will place an order for the book and I will send you a hard copy.

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[01:32:15]These are not just books for you to read. They are books for you to live out. And above that, these are books you can use to start training other people.

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[01:32:45]Get this books. They would truly truly help you. Video will be showing right now and it will lead you to how to get this books. Until I see you tomorrow, make sure you watch this video again and share it with your friends. God bless you.