Thanatomorphose movie review Body horror gets sticky and gross in this new episode of UW+R!

Ajouté : 2026-05-12

[00:00:01]Hi everybody and welcome to another episode of Unboxed, Watched, and Reviewed. So, what movie are we doing this week? Well, let's take a look back and find out. Hi everybody. Welcome to social studies class. Today, we're just going to appreciate the world and our founding fathers. Today we're going to be talking about George Washington and his glory hole. Okay, now with that out of the way, we got a package. Let's see what we got, shall we? This social studies is getting a little exhausting.

[00:00:38]I'm starting to run out of things to say.

[00:00:41]Okay, I'll show you first.

[00:00:45]Phantomos.

[00:00:48]Phantom. Okay, we can try that again.

[00:00:50]Maybe Phantom. Than than fanatamorphos that's right ladies and gentlemen than [ __ ] me.

[00:00:58]Thanatamorphosatamorphosatamorphus.

[00:01:04]Theatamorphos. A claustrophobic sickening and oddly uplifting experience. Oddly uplifting. I could use oddly uplifting after the movie I just watched. We'll get to that in a little bit. One day, a young and beautiful girl wakes up and finds her flesh rotting.

[00:01:25]2013. It looks interesting. It looks like it could be good. Well, you guys want to watch this? All right, I'll see you guys in the future. So, with that said, are you guys ready to start Vanamorphos?

[00:01:41]I know I am. Let's do it. Snuff 102 is in the couch. I can't believe Snuff 102 is so high up on the disturbing movie Iceberg. This one really upset me and it's above [ __ ] Auster Monte.

[00:01:58]Remember the lip sewing and how [ __ ] fake it all was? That's like that's down below this. This had pregnant, screaming, crying women in it, animal killing, gore pictures. I mean, this was too much for me. This was too much for me. And it's not even low on the disturbing iceberg. What the [ __ ] I made it about 25 minutes into the movie before I realized, okay, this is really buming me out and scaring me. I got to shut this [ __ ] off, making it one of the only movies I've ever had to shut off for the show. Got to open this [ __ ] [ __ ] up. This shirt is a mushroom shirt for Joshua Tree, which is a place in California, and you go there and you take mushrooms and enjoy yourself. These bunnies on the shirt are tripping.

[00:02:45]Ready? Play. So, Thanamorphus opens up with a blurry image and some sounds. It's opening up. It's like closeups. You can't tell what's happening. Is it people [ __ ] I mean, I I don't know what it is. That was like a butt crack. That's a butt crack.

[00:03:01]There's a woman's face. Thanos.

[00:03:04]And there's a woman sitting on a toilet.

[00:03:06]She's got a tattoo in between her soup bags. Oh, there's a naked. There's a dick. I was going to tell you a story about a house in a mountain, but there's a dick on the screen, so I have to pay attention. Sorry. And here now here here she comes. They're just walking around post. [ __ ] Oh, the naked guy's walking and he and a nail was sticking out of the floor and he stepped on it. That would ruin my [ __ ] day. She They're in the bathroom now and she's tending to his wound. He stepped on a nail and [ __ ] his foot up. Anyway, way up in this mountain there is a hidden house and it was so cool. It had a window in it. It had all these old jars and cans.

[00:03:43]It was a mine worker's house. And me and my husband found it.

[00:03:49]That's how high up it was. We climbed this whole mountain.

[00:03:53]>> I I left a note and I put it in a tube that I got a joint in and put it in a little can and left it there for somebody to find. But this was so hidden in this mountain. I can't even believe we found it. It was so cool. Take a look.

[00:04:06]>> This is crazy. There's like pots and stuff.

[00:04:11]This is way up in a mountain.

[00:04:16]Oh my god. I can't believe there's scorpions in here, I'm sure. Oh jeez.

[00:04:21]Oh. Go see if it goes back.

[00:04:24]>> Hello.

[00:04:24]>> There's nobody in here.

[00:04:27]Oh my god. Look at all this. Oh, here.

[00:04:30]Take this. No. My souvenir. My letter.

[00:04:32]>> Yes.

[00:04:33]>> Put it right there. The little note I left was an inspirational quote that I came up with on my own.

[00:04:40]>> It says, "Just remember when you're scared, most times the anticipation is worse than the event itself. You are loved." Person Tanner from Iowa 2026. I hope someday somebody finds that note and it makes them think, "God, they're right. They have a good point." But yeah, that was my trip to Joshua Tree.

[00:05:02]This is That's where I got this shirt.

[00:05:04]They're still naked and he's finally putting pants on. We've been taking a lot of trips lately. We just got back from Sedona. We've been going to Canada a lot. These people aren't talking. He's just getting dressed and she's sitting there. So, I'll just keep talking about vacations, I guess. We went to Washington. I told you I got that Laura Palmer shirt at the actual doubleR. We went to Snowquami B in Canada. We're not even talking about the [ __ ] movie.

[00:05:28]How long has this episode been on? So, she's just walking around in silence.

[00:05:32]This isn't what you call a slow burn.

[00:05:35]This is just what you call slow. Like, where's the burn? What is she, an artist? She's like working on a sculpture or something. This scene drags on and on, and the movie stays at this pace the whole time. Holy slowness.

[00:05:48]Uh-oh. She ran her fingers through her hair, and her hair's falling out. Cue the Death in the Maiden soundtrack. What should we use for background music? I know. How about the song from Death in the Maiden? Have you guys seen Death in the Maiden? I got it, but I accidentally got a French version [music] of it. I love that [ __ ] movie. This movie was so slow. It was exhausting me, and it's just getting started. I don't even know what she did during that montage. She put something in the garbage or something. Now she's tossing and turning in bed. She's masturbating. She's masturbating in bed. I can't believe how silent this is. The next morning, after 10 minutes of doing nothing, she Oh god, she just ripped off her [ __ ] fing.

[00:06:30]She's in the shower and her fingernail just ripped off. The box calls this oddly uplifting. In what way? She's tweezing her [ __ ] eyebrows now. Now she's shaving her [ __ ] armpits, putting on makeup. I don't know how this is possible, but I got a Toby Keith song stuck in my head. Don't ask me how the [ __ ] that got in there. I love this bar.

[00:06:50]And she's eating the bacon and eggs.

[00:06:52]This movie is just like a boring diary entry. Woke up today, made bacon and eggs, wore white pants, and I buttoned my shirt slowly. She's got a bruise on her face, too. There's my picture of the Phoenix Lights ship that I drew over Phoenix.

[00:07:08]>> I mean, he's just an oof.

[00:07:10]>> She's fighting with the boyfriend. Oh, she slapped him and he slapped her back.

[00:07:15]So far, this is not uplifting. Now they're kissing. They're going to [ __ ] He's trying to [ __ ] her and he said, "You're so cold." And she's like, "Yeah, it's probably you." They're both walking around naked again. Her arms are all bruised. She's pu she's puking on the guy's stomach. She just got up and ran into the bathroom. The next day, she's all spotted up now. She looks really bad. Oddly uplifting. There's an hour left. That's a big [ __ ] pill to swallow. That's a horse pill. They used to sell horse pills at my local airport along with pickled pig's feet. Like, who would go to the airport to buy pickled pig's feet? I used to like to look at them when we'd go to the airport for whatever reason. When I was little, I loved looking at the pickled pig's feet.

[00:07:59]They had other [ __ ] too, in clear jars.

[00:08:01]Pickled [ __ ] Could you imagine ordering I I'll take the pickled pig's feet, please. And then just waiting for my plane. I mean, how do you eat a pickled pig's foot? You know, you cut it up and I mean, who's eating pickled pig's feet in the [ __ ] first place at a goddamn airport? She just slipped on a piece of ice and fell back and cracked her head. She's just laying there passed out. I'm bouncing. I didn't realize it. She's waking up. She She didn't just pass out. She had a full night's sleep and [music] they showed it in real [ __ ] time. [ __ ] just decompose.

[00:08:35]She's taking out a bandage. She's barely moving and she's bandaging up her head like she's [ __ ] Lewis from Greece, too. A guy stops by and she's walking and she said, "I'm in here." She's like, "I can take care of myself." And he's like, "We got to get you to the hospital." And she's trying to [ __ ] him.

[00:08:51]She's kissing his neck and she's naked and just covered in bruises. She's got a bandage around her head with blood on it. That's gross. Like she's decomposing and she's just going down on him and he's letting her. A shot from behind her head and her head is just she's bouncing. Oh. Oh, she just spit out a mouthful of calm and he walked off. Her back is covered in blood from her head wound. Cue the boring music. We're going to do some fun in a little bit. But we got to wait. We got to wait. We got to wait. We got to wait. Oh, we can do something fun. Look at her wiggle butt.

[00:09:23]She's waking up cuz she's banded. She's all She's got dried blood all over her face. I don't know what she's doing.

[00:09:29]But, you know, actually, I do know what she's doing. It's called nothing. She's just sitting there. I can't even tell you where she's sitting. I can't even say like, "Oh, she's sitting there." Oh, she's in the shower. She looks way severely burned. She's putting on makeup. But I mean, she's like a big giant bruise. Is this the most boring movie we've ever done on the show? I don't think so, but it's up there. I I can't even tell what that is. She's digging into her head, putting her fingers in the hole. She's laying in bed. Her tit is all bloody. Her arm is bloody. Her face looks like it's covered in mud like Jenny Uddigger in that scene in Walkabout when they see the aborigy.

[00:10:06]Oh, she looks like she's been burned.

[00:10:09]This movie is just her hobbling around her apartment naked the whole time.

[00:10:13]She's taping garbage bags up covering up the windows. It's just showing different shots of the house like it's skinnaring which I didn't finish. I didn't finish skinning. I appreciated it at first but then I was like I got to go play with Willow or something. She threw a sheet over the mirror. She's taking an ice bath. Why is this happening to this poor girl? And why isn't she going to a doctor or urgent care? Cue up that lovely music that just wakes me right up. We see her in bed again and she's masturbating and she's a giant scab. The the boyfriend is walking in. He pushed her down in the shower and rejected her.

[00:10:51]It jumps back and forth from the boyfriend session and the masturbation session. She's squeezing her [ __ ] up tit. It's It's gross. And now she's masturbating on bed. Now she's back fighting with [music] the boyfriend.

[00:11:04]He's down on the ground puking. She's so [ __ ] up looking. It looks pretty good.

[00:11:09]I got to say it looks really good. She's got like these little pointy teeth.

[00:11:14]She's bad. She's beating his head in with something. Killing the boyfriend.

[00:11:17]And now she's coming thinking about it.

[00:11:20]Oh [ __ ] It looks [clears throat] like her [ __ ] arm just fell off and she's taping it back on with duct tape.

[00:11:25]picking up hair from a blood pile. She's looking at polaroids. Now she's working on her sculpture, putting her own hair and blood on it. Is that how this is going to be uplifting? Is she going to make herself a friend? She's sculpting this weird head. It's dead silent. I think she just [ __ ] put her ripped her ear off and put it in a [ __ ] dead jar. She's taping polaroids to the jar.

[00:11:47]Right ear. And her arm fell off, but she taped it back on. Oh, she got the tweezers. Oh no. the tweezer she was tweezing her eyebrows with earlier. Now she's tweezing maggots out of her skin.

[00:11:58]Why is this happening? Again, urgent care. Give them a call. Just give them a call. Tell them you got maggots coming out of your tits and you're concerned about it. Actually, you're not concerned about it. Mention that. Mention that you're fine with everything. [ __ ] crazy [ __ ] Now she's sitting in the tub. She's all dark. All you can see is her eyes. Oh my god. Her eyes. She her eyes are now green. It's like she's got contacts in like it's all just all green. Bright green. She's just sitting there digging maggots out of her skin in the dead ass silence. The guy she blew stops over. What do he say? I'm here to touch my cookie. I'm here to touch my cookie, baby.

[00:12:40]>> He's walking in like to his horror, he sees the woman almost completely decayed and she says, "Did you say [ __ ] me now?"

[00:12:49]He says, "We're going to get you to the hospital." And he tried to lift her up, but her hand like came loose and he's puking. She's staring in the doorway.

[00:12:57]She went, "What? You're not attracted to me anymore? Do you want me to blow you like last time?" She's saying, "Fuck her. [ __ ] her." She said, "I thought you'd love me." Oh [ __ ] She lifted [music] something. A knife. Oh, stabbed him right in the hand. And now she's stabbing him in the back. He tried to crawl away. I got to say, this movie is [ __ ] up. It's [ __ ] up. It was boring at first, but um I mean maybe not [ __ ] up as [ __ ] but it's [ __ ] up as baloney. I had a bologn sandwich yesterday and I felt crunchy gristle bits in it in the baloney. I don't know what I think about this movie. I like it, but it's also unforgivingly slow.

[00:13:34]It's just zooming up to her face. It's all black like Chucky at the end of Child's Play one. I mean, just all black except her eyes. Her weird green eyes.

[00:13:43]She got maggots on her hands. Oh, she's stepping out of the tub. Her foot is gross. It's a closeup of the foot. Now she's working on her sculpture in real time. She uncovered the mirror. She's just [ __ ] standing there. And she's back in the [ __ ] tub. Couldn't that have just been the end, you know? Now she's getting out of the [ __ ] tub again. Then she does the slowest crawl in cinema history. After about two full minutes of slow crawling, I eventually snapped. She's slowly army crawling across the floor. And it's the slowest [ __ ] thing I've ever seen in my goddamn life. I don't care if this is a good movie. It's too [ __ ] slow. It's too [ __ ] slow to forgive. It's too slow. This is I mean, she's just army crawling across the floor from one end of the room to the next. Just getting low score because of that. I was thinking I was enjoying this, but I'm not because she's just crawling across the floor. This is this what I'm doing is quick. She's going, you know, I mean, this is taking forever. She's still crawling down the hallway. However, this slow crawl does have a massive payoff. Her hand is like melting. I think she's dying finally.

[00:14:58]She's Yeah, she's like like Freddy Kruegering from Freddy 4, but in reverse. You know how he kind of comes together? She's falling apart and it looks like Freddy. There's her ribs.

[00:15:08]Chunks of her are falling off. She's getting up and she's a skeleton. Her hand ripped off. She's screaming. She's All her skin is falling off. Her jaw dropped to the ground. Her skull. She's a She's a dead skeleton now. There she is in the hallway being dead. Why is she Okay, we get it. She's dead. I'm trying to like encourage the credits. It's just showing the hallway. Are they kidding me? Are they kidding me? Queue up death in the maiden. Yeah. Oh my god. Okay.

[00:15:38]Fading to black. Fading to black.

[00:15:41]Written and directed by Eric Flaridoo.

[00:15:44]Okay. What do you say we put on Christopher Ra's music while we talk about this? This movie moves at the pace of a Zebedee cult come. This movie was so slow it made Christmas Evil look like a roller coaster ride. The ending was cool how she melted and fell apart, but she crawled to that location to melt for like four minutes. No exaggeration. It was really quite mindblowing how slow she went. The story was interesting, but she she wasn't a likable character. She had no depth. You know, we knew nothing about her. I don't even think she had a name. So, what do I give Phantom Morphos on a scale of 1 to five? Well, I'd have to give it a two. The effects were great, but it was just way too slow for my taste. So, check it out if you want something with really good effects and lots of dicks and boobs in it. So, thanks [music] for watching everyone, and I'll see you next time.