‘Monster’ Mom Kills Son Over Turning 18

Hinzugefügt: 2026-05-05

[00:00:00]She just hit a >> fine. DROP IT. DROP IT. DROP IT. DROP IT. DROP IT. DROP IT.

[00:00:06]>> DROP IT.

[00:00:07]>> A mom caught in the act holding a knife moments after killing her own son.

[00:00:13]>> I never thought I'd be the one on an interrogation video. I watched them, but they all think they're not going to be on them until they are.

[00:00:24]This isn't who I am. The reason she said she did it in a tearful admission straight from her hospital bed. We're on the case presented by Law and Crime. I'm Chris Stewart.

[00:00:43]Hey guys, before we start this episode of On the Case, I want to talk about a sponsor that is going to help you look fresh and with ingredients you can trust. We're talking about Van Man. I've been using their pearl eye cream. It has been great. Van Man's Pearl Eye Cream combines tallow with wild caught pearl powder, which is one of the most nutrientrich ingredients on Earth for skin and eye health. And they've added some super potent royal jelly, organic green tea, and some of the finest anti-aging essential oils like frankincense and rose. And those are ingredients you can pronounce. Give your eyes the care they actually deserve. Go to vanman.shopc shopc and use code OTC for 15% off your first order. Van man, real ingredients, no exceptions. As I went through the hours of the newly released body cam video that we have, I kept asking myself how a mom could do what this Michigan woman did to her own son. Murder him and then have such a twisted reasoning as to why she did it. This is the body camera video out of Holland, Michigan. It's about a half hour away from Grand Rapids. It's 4:15 in the morning and police were called to an apartment complex for a domestic incident.

[00:01:56]>> You got the Jimmy.

[00:02:15]She's only got the phone in her hand.

[00:02:17]Currently vomiting.

[00:02:19]FINE. DROP IT. DROP IT. DROP IT. DROP IT. DROP IT. DROP IT.

[00:02:24]>> DROP IT.

[00:02:25]>> You got a knife.

[00:02:26]>> DROP THE KNIFE NOW.

[00:02:28]>> Drop the knife, man. JUST DROP THE KNIFE. STOP.

[00:02:31]>> HEY, I GOT TO BAIL DOWN. I got to bail down. Just drop the knife. Just drop the knife. That's all you do. Please.

[00:02:36]Please. Just listen to me.

[00:02:40]I need you.

[00:02:48]Please. There you go. There you go.

[00:02:49]Thank you so much. Please just come out to the hallway, man. Stop. Stop.

[00:02:54]>> Now, because of censorship rules, I can't show you the moment that police put a taser on Katie Austin Lee, but in this freeze frame, you can see her going for a knife that is now on the floor. It appears to be the same knife that she was holding in her hands when police knocked on her door. We're going to pick up the video right after they have her on the ground.

[00:03:13]>> Okay. Ma'am, where are you injured? Or is all the blood on you from your son?

[00:03:16]>> Good with her?

[00:03:17]>> Yeah. Is all the blood on you from your son? I'm going to sit you up. Okay. Can you put your legs straight?

[00:03:26]>> I believe it's going to be an obvious.

[00:03:32]>> Okay. I'm going to sit you up. Sit right there. Okay. I'm going scoot you back.

[00:03:45]>> Yep.

[00:03:47]>> There you go.

[00:03:49]>> I'm sorry for all that you guys are.

[00:04:02]>> We just couldn't do it anymore.

[00:04:05]Okay.

[00:04:06]>> And with everything that's coming out of the building, >> she's here. Um, we'll escort her through downstairs.

[00:04:15]If you want to bring the cruiser right up to the front entrance here, just bring it in front of this building.

[00:04:28]>> Uh, I'm really glad we didn't.

[00:04:29]>> Let me know when you're there. We'll help that way.

[00:04:32]>> You really need to be with him.

[00:04:34]>> Yep. No.

[00:04:35]>> Yeah. Don't touch that. Um, if you want to just lock this hallway down.

[00:04:39]>> I don't want >> No one's coming down here.

[00:04:41]>> Nope.

[00:04:41]>> Cut.

[00:04:42]>> No one's coming down here.

[00:04:47]>> Breathe earlier, but now >> we will take eventually if you got some handy.

[00:04:57]>> Yep.

[00:04:59]>> Yep. We are going to get you medical attention here shortly. Okay. You heard the officer ask if the blood on Lee's hands is her son's. This is a picture of her son, the victim in this story. It's from a GoFundMe page. His name was Austin Pickart. He was 17. In fact, the next day he was going to turn 18. And that is a big part of this story that I'll get into in just a moment. Police say that Lee called 911 claiming that she couldn't get her son to stop breathing. She then told the dispatcher that she had a knife and quote, "It got out of hand." The first arriving officer said that dispatchers told him that Lee claimed to have cut her own son's throat. Pickart was found dead inside the apartment. EMTs arrived and took Lee to the hospital. And you can see it appears she is completely out of it.

[00:05:43]>> You want to grab her feet?

[00:05:44]>> Yeah.

[00:05:46]Katie, wake up.

[00:05:49]>> Katie, we're moving you.

[00:05:59]Sorry about your head gear.

[00:06:07]Hold on. Hold on.

[00:06:27]Is that spin here? Go feet first.

[00:06:32]>> I think so. So, feet first. Open that door.

[00:06:35]>> Head first point towards the door.

[00:06:39]>> Sorry.

[00:06:40]>> You're good.

[00:06:57]Who wants to do the magic trick?

[00:06:59]>> Go ahead.

[00:07:01]>> Yep. Grab a few.

[00:07:15]>> I'm rolling. Okay, sounds good.

[00:07:18]Let me know if they find another taser probe in her in her.

[00:07:21]>> Yeah, that's fine. Let's just We just got to set her up first.

[00:07:36]>> She said a couple.

[00:07:39]>> She was very coherent when we first got there.

[00:07:42]>> When I first got there and then she went progressively Okay, sorry.

[00:07:54]>> Stand by. One of my handcuff keys disappeared.

[00:08:00]>> Thanks, >> man. I was hoping to keep that.

[00:08:03]>> Yeah, I prefer not, >> but it would have been Merry Christmas.

[00:08:08]Okay, thanks, guys.

[00:08:09]>> You'll hear what Lee has to say for herself in just a moment from her hospital bed when she was interviewed by detectives. The officer then goes into the apartment where a murder investigation is underway.

[00:08:25]>> You in the back room.

[00:08:26]>> H >> in the back room.

[00:08:28]>> The first one.

[00:08:29]>> First one. Okay.

[00:08:36]>> Thanks, guys.

[00:08:36]>> Mhm.

[00:08:56]Is there history here?

[00:08:59]>> I've never interacted with them before.

[00:09:02]>> Is that him? Mhm.

[00:09:08]Awesome.

[00:09:09]How old is he?

[00:09:13]17.

[00:09:16]>> 2018.

[00:09:17]>> Yeah.

[00:09:17]>> I only saw like a tidbit on the call before I just finished fueling and hopped in and came.

[00:09:23]>> Did you notice that the blood on her hands and wrists were already dry?

[00:09:26]>> Mhm.

[00:09:27]>> It's been a bit.

[00:09:28]>> It's been a while.

[00:09:29]>> Cool to the touch.

[00:09:31]>> I don't know.

[00:09:31]>> Got blankets.

[00:09:34]>> As those officers secure the scene, Lee is taken to the hospital for evaluation.

[00:09:38]And this is the body cam video of her interview with investigators. You'll see the screen is heavily redacted, but they do leave the portion clear so you can see Lee's face in the hospital bed.

[00:09:50]>> We're going to be pretty lowkey, okay?

[00:09:52]We're just going to we we just want to kind of understand. I don't know that we do. So, >> well, that's why we're here. We're hoping that you can maybe help us at least try.

[00:10:05]Okay.

[00:10:07]So >> yeah, >> really really long time.

[00:10:14]>> Tell me about that.

[00:10:16]>> He's got a brain injury and has been emotionally impaired classroom since preschool actually, but kindergarten officially.

[00:10:29]He went there for 8 years and I have to go get him all the time. It was a a big deal. And I'm also disabled now.

[00:10:40]I can't drive and I can't take care of him.

[00:10:45]>> Okay.

[00:10:46]>> I've reached out to every doctor. I know.

[00:10:50]>> Okay.

[00:10:52]>> And I we're just tired. We are tired. He was tired.

[00:11:00]He was tired. has made me promise not to let him wake up after it started. And then once I started, I couldn't stop. I didn't want the trauma to add on it.

[00:11:17]And it was just I didn't want to end it.

[00:11:22]He wanted us to shoot me.

[00:11:35]Can you maybe tell us kind of so understand like what led up to this? I know that you said that he was >> Take your time. Take your time.

[00:11:46]>> I I have to pee so bad and I can't even walk to the bathroom.

[00:11:54]I I I don't even remember. I mean, we're just talking about everything that's happening in the world today and how it's going to be and I wrote some of it in that letter.

[00:12:06]>> When did you start talking about this?

[00:12:09]>> That day? Well, we've talked about it forever.

[00:12:12]>> What What is forever? Years, months.

[00:12:19]>> We always said when the end time comes, we'll have a plan. So, that's what I mean by forever. just joking around I guess.

[00:12:26]>> Okay.

[00:12:30]Well, like is this something that you guys have discussed for quite some time?

[00:12:36]>> Not really.

[00:12:38]>> Okay.

[00:12:39]>> I think we just had an understanding.

[00:12:44]>> Okay.

[00:12:44]>> He was so tired >> when >> he didn't want to have his 18th birthday. Okay. Lee breaks down in tears as this detective has a gentler, almost sympathetic tone to the conversation. He is just trying to keep her talking. And through the sobs, Lee claims that she killed her own son because she says he had a death wish and he didn't want to turn 18. That would have been the next day. She then adds a chilling twist. She says that the brutal killing didn't go according to her plan. Can you Can you Can you tell me what was supposed to >> just go to sleep and I could maybe like go like this and he would just go out but he was fighting back.

[00:13:32]>> Go like go like what?

[00:13:33]>> Out.

[00:13:34]>> Okay.

[00:13:35]>> I didn't think it would be so hard.

[00:13:39]Okay.

[00:13:40]>> And then just kept going cuz it was too hard.

[00:13:45]>> I think there was um a little medical thing for his finger next to the bed.

[00:13:51]Were you using that? What was What was that for? To >> see if his heart he was going down >> to see if he was still alive.

[00:14:00]>> Okay.

[00:14:02]I There was also >> I know how this sounds. I know it. I never thought I'd be the one on an interrogation video. I watch them, but they all think they're not going to be on them until they are.

[00:14:17]This isn't who I am.

[00:14:20]I like I said, I did read part of your note and it seemed like from the note you were coming from a place of protection and care and I'm just trying to understand that >> the world's not made for us.

[00:14:33]>> Okay. Can you tell me about that?

[00:14:35]>> We haven't hardly left the house in 5 years.

[00:14:39]>> Okay.

[00:14:41]>> Because for one, my pain, but he doesn't make friends. He never has.

[00:14:51]>> Okay.

[00:14:54]And I'm sorry, but I really have to use the bathroom.

[00:14:58]>> I'm not sure what >> I can check on.

[00:15:00]>> Can you check on that and see? We're going to see if we can get you to use the bathroom. I'm not sure what their policies are cuz that's not my department, but >> you a little bit.

[00:15:08]>> Yep. We're going to we're going to check on them. Okay.

[00:15:15]>> I think you've been to our house for this before, probably. It's possible. I probably didn't have a beard. I know that your your name sounded familiar to me.

[00:15:26]We We talked to a lot of people. Was Why would I have been there before for uh >> I've had to call many times on him and other >> Oh, because he was getting out of hand maybe or calling for other people >> or when I tried to do this like >> Yep. I will step out a second or yeah, I'll step out in the hallway if you're good with that, Megan.

[00:15:48]>> The detectives then have to step out of the room because a nurse comes in. But when detectives come back, they talk to Lee about pills they found in her apartment.

[00:15:58]>> There was I think there was some pills and some liquid and some glasses in that. Um, how did that go about? Did you guys discuss taking that or who started drinking that and how did that all start first?

[00:16:14]And did he know what he was drinking?

[00:16:16]>> Yes.

[00:16:16]>> Yeah.

[00:16:18]>> Did Did he understand the intent of what was going on? What was the discussion like around that?

[00:16:23]>> Um I can't remember the first thing that started. I was I think it was a Tik Tok video.

[00:16:30]>> Okay.

[00:16:31]>> I showed him and I was talking about Putin and uh Trump and Putin kind of being on the same terms type.

[00:16:40]>> Okay.

[00:16:41]instead of our allies and everything.

[00:16:43]And it just was a conversation from that.

[00:16:46]>> Okay.

[00:16:48]>> We just he knew what he was doing.

[00:16:51]>> Okay.

[00:16:51]>> He did take those. He just made me promise that he wouldn't wake up from it cuz he didn't want to do it and be in a hospital.

[00:16:59]>> Okay.

[00:17:01]What do you remember what time of day that was?

[00:17:04]>> Early.

[00:17:05]>> What's early?

[00:17:07]>> Noon. Or what >> is that? noon the day before because this kind of went on through the night.

[00:17:14]Is that right?

[00:17:14]>> Yeah.

[00:17:15]>> Okay. So, noon or 1 he started. Did you help him smash up some medication or did he smash up the medication?

[00:17:22]>> And put it in What was the fluid that was in there? Was that >> just water?

[00:17:26]>> Just water. Do you remember what medication?

[00:17:31]>> Was it?

[00:17:33]>> But he took other meds, too.

[00:17:36]>> Okay. What else did he take? Everything.

[00:17:38]>> Everything.

[00:17:39]>> That's why I thought I needed you guys to shoot me cuz he took so much that there wasn't going to be enough for me.

[00:17:46]>> Okay.

[00:17:47]>> Okay.

[00:17:48]>> And I wanted you guys to make sure to finish the job.

[00:17:52]>> I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that to those officers.

[00:17:56]>> Nope. That's okay. Um, so then that was around 1:00 or noon the day before, right? Then what happened?

[00:18:08]>> Were you guys still continued conversations?

[00:18:10]>> Yeah.

[00:18:12]>> He he didn't fall asleep.

[00:18:13]>> Fell asleep eventually. He couldn't feel any of it.

[00:18:17]>> Okay.

[00:18:19]>> None of it.

[00:18:20]>> Okay. Was if I remember right in this this note, it said that did he make a comment even after there was a cut?

[00:18:30]>> Yeah.

[00:18:31]>> What'd he say?

[00:18:33]I asked him if it hurt and he said no.

[00:18:35]And I don't remember.

[00:18:38]I might remember if you're asking something specific, but >> what time?

[00:18:45]>> There's a lot of time in the day to cover. So, >> okay. So, so there was he he did you start taking pills at that same time?

[00:18:55]>> I wanted to make sure he was out.

[00:18:58]>> Okay. So that was about 1:00 p.m. And then there was a first cut made on him.

[00:19:05]When was that?

[00:19:08]First he No, about 4 >> in the afternoon.

[00:19:11]>> Yeah.

[00:19:13]>> And you did that cut, too? He didn't do that.

[00:19:18]Didn't >> Which one was that? The first one.

[00:19:22]This >> the the lower one.

[00:19:24]>> Yeah.

[00:19:25]>> Okay. And then what happened after that?

[00:19:27]>> It didn't work. Okay.

[00:19:29]>> What did you do that with?

[00:19:33]The three that were right there.

[00:19:35]>> Okay. That was I was going to ask you.

[00:19:37]There was there was some knives in the room.

[00:19:40]>> I brought those in in case you guys came. I was going to try to end it really quickly for him so that he didn't have to be able to make it up.

[00:19:50]>> Those So the knife that you came out >> I was trying to do it quickly anyways, but it didn't. The knife that you came in the hallway with, that's the knife that you used.

[00:20:01]>> One of them.

[00:20:02]>> Okay.

[00:20:02]>> And there should be two more in there.

[00:20:05]>> Okay. In the in where?

[00:20:07]>> This one.

[00:20:08]>> Okay. Did you use multiple knives?

[00:20:13]Why? Why different?

[00:20:15]>> I I lost my mind, you know, like >> Yeah.

[00:20:18]>> I wouldn't have ever done this.

[00:20:19]>> I I don't believe it. Doesn't sound like you did this out of a place of hate.

[00:20:23]That's for sure based on what I'm seeing here. But that's why I'm trying to understand.

[00:20:27]>> Lee told officers that she drugged her son, then stabbed him to death. She claimed that it was his wish for this to happen. We'll never know if that was the truth, though, because she took his life. Lee also wrote in a journal that investigators found on the scene. This journal talked about the end of times for her and her son.

[00:20:46]>> What is this um was it a farm that you were referring to?

[00:20:52]>> I don't know if you guys have seen it. I don't think I have.

[00:20:56]>> I have seen both Trump and RFK Jr.

[00:20:59]talking about it now about sending mentally ill to wellness camps.

[00:21:06]>> Okay.

[00:21:07]>> Like hell.

[00:21:10]>> And you were concerned.

[00:21:12]>> Wouldn't you be?

[00:21:13]>> Yeah. I'm just Okay.

[00:21:15]>> Plus, I was concerned.

[00:21:19]Very concerned. And I made sure it was real like before I even said anything to him.

[00:21:30]>> Um, there was something about his 18th birthday. I know that was yesterday and I know that you said there was some concern about losing some >> Oh, we had an appointment. I don't know if you would have lost it or not.

[00:21:47]>> Okay. I I don't know. But he he said he didn't want to have his 18th birthday.

[00:21:53]>> When When did he say that? Has that been something that he's been talking about for for some time or like how how did that >> He doesn't do anything. He hasn't had a birthday party in years. He won't leave the house.

[00:22:05]>> Okay.

[00:22:10]It it seems to me that this was I mean you guys had some some stuff that you had ordered, you know. Um I saw the the survival stuff in the house and it seems like it was >> I bought it and I told him we're going to look at that every day.

[00:22:28]>> Okay.

[00:22:29]>> And this is when I had better optimistics of the world.

[00:22:32]>> Okay.

[00:22:33]>> And know that we could either end up in that or not.

[00:22:37]>> Okay. So what's that? And that's what that was. So it wasn't like I was prepping for the end. It was just a and then we could go donate it to somebody that needed it.

[00:22:49]>> I'm not needing it. Get a job. All that stuff.

[00:22:53]>> Not needing it would be getting a job and so forth >> and you know start living his life.

[00:22:58]It was just something I was trying like just every day look at it and realize I don't want >> to end up in that >> in that >> cuz he was turning 18 with no ambitions to do anything and to leave and I can't force him to do anything anymore.

[00:23:15]>> As you listen to this conversation, Lee is building a strong case that would be used against her in court. I don't want to put words in your mouth, but if I'm understanding you correctly, then the intent was for you to help him go with using the pills. He would go to sleep peacefully and pass away. You were going to use the little medical device to determine that there was no longer a heartbeat. Is that correct?

[00:23:40]>> Yeah.

[00:23:41]>> And then you were going to take pills and then you would go to sleep peacefully and then meet him in heaven or on the other side. Is is that correct? I I I don't want to put words in your mouth, but I that's what it sounds like you're telling me. That's correct. But then obviously things did not go to according to plan. It was not the way that you had intended it to go.

[00:24:09]And then there was not enough pills apparently or it took longer than you thought. At any point did he seem like he was gasping or struggling for air?

[00:24:23]No. He was in conversation with you up until pretty close.

[00:24:28]>> He would sleep and then >> kind of wake up.

[00:24:31]>> Wake up a little bit.

[00:24:34]>> What would you guys talk about when he woke up?

[00:24:38]>> Um, a lot of times I would say I don't know what to do cuz I didn't.

[00:24:46]>> Yeah. What would he say?

[00:24:49]>> No, I he looked at it and he got scared and I really had to do something.

[00:24:57]>> Okay.

[00:24:59]>> Looked at what and got scared.

[00:25:04]>> Are you referring to the guts that were there? Okay.

[00:25:08]>> I I looks like I read in here um he's so strong. I don't know if I can do this.

[00:25:14]Did he start fighting you at one point?

[00:25:17]At what point was that?

[00:25:18]>> But in that he just wasn't passing away as well. Like he didn't have >> right >> that will to live any other time.

[00:25:25]>> Gotcha.

[00:25:26]>> And then he was not doing it and it was >> I had known that.

[00:25:33]>> Yeah. Was I guess that's what I'm at. So when you said he he's he's so strong, you're are we referring to his will to live or it sounds like he was fighting physically too?

[00:25:44]>> Little of both. Was that at the end?

[00:25:48]>> Yeah.

[00:25:49]>> Was that the what? That's was that like I said, I don't want to put words in your mouth, but was that during the last cut?

[00:25:57]>> I think so. Yeah.

[00:25:58]>> Detectives then ask about a disturbing discovery in that journal. There was uh some writing in blood.

[00:26:07]What was that about?

[00:26:10]>> So, >> what was it?

[00:26:14]>> Why?

[00:26:14]>> Okay. And did he write that or >> No, >> you wrote that. What was the meaning behind that?

[00:26:22]>> Why?

[00:26:26]>> Why am I doing this?

[00:26:31]Why are you doing this? Okay.

[00:26:33]>> When did you end up writing that?

[00:26:36]>> I don't know.

[00:26:40]You said um you had been flipping up videos cuz it wasn't working fast enough. Um and it looked for some things on your phone. Is that right? Okay. Um do you remember at what point you did that?

[00:26:57]>> Yeah. before you guys and what kind of things we're researching um just like self-dezo strategies and stuff.

[00:27:13]>> Would Would you be willing to give me your code to get into your phone?

[00:27:19]>> I don't have to.

[00:27:20]>> You don't have to, but I was just asking because I kind of confirm what you're telling me.

[00:27:26]But that's up to you.

[00:27:29]Um then there was um the memory box. Now I am a little bit you said that you wrote this the journal entry basically during there's no we didn't see any blood.

[00:27:46]>> I think I might have started part of it but it wasn't for that purpose. just the um the part about the play and just how things are going and then it turned into I added on to it.

[00:28:03]>> Okay, >> is what that is.

[00:28:05]>> It looks like some of this was written before and after the the cut, >> right? That's what I mean that but it wasn't made for that purpose. You'll see there's a change in the writing.

[00:28:15]>> Okay. Yeah.

[00:28:17]Were you washing your hands between time that you didn't get blood on the journal or >> what's that?

[00:28:24]>> No.

[00:28:25]>> Okay.

[00:28:27]>> Still trying to get it off.

[00:28:36]>> Um, >> God, I sound like a complete raptor.

[00:28:43]>> This story, it is shocking. It's sad, but a lot of it is just bizarre because here we are a couple days after this murder. And Lee, after explaining all of this out, has the audacity, frankly, to ask a detective whether quote, "She sounds like a complete whack job."

[00:29:00]Detectives then told her once the hospital releases her, she would be taken to the county jail and the legal process would pick up. Katie Austin Lee would be charged initially with a count of open murder and resisting or obstructing an officer. She was held on no bond. Austin was prepared to go to trial. Then in October of last year, she pleaded guilty to charges of torture and seconddegree murder. At her sentencing, she addressed the courtroom.

[00:29:24]>> Miss Lee, have you had an adequate opportunity to read and review the pre-sentence report?

[00:29:28]>> I have.

[00:29:29]>> Any additions or corrections to make besides the ones that your attorney's already made?

[00:29:33]>> No.

[00:29:33]>> Anything that you would like to say before sentences involved?

[00:29:36]>> Yes.

[00:29:36]>> Go ahead.

[00:29:39]>> How does someone start something so important when words can only convey so much? I decided on where it means the most to me. My love for Austin.

[00:29:50]I love him with all that I am. It's endless and my heart is broken. It was just us for 18 years and through it all.

[00:29:58]He's my baby, my rock, and my purpose.

[00:30:01]I fought as hard as I knew how for him to be included. There was never supposed to be a world where I am in it, but he is not. And I am so lost without him.

[00:30:11]I've thought about writing the statement for a year now and all words fall short.

[00:30:19]I would like to apologize to the first responders who had to process that night and the ones I held the knife up to. I'm sorry. It was unfair of me to put you in that position.

[00:30:29]I'm sorry to the detectives for the unanswered questions and to the hospital staff for being so angry. You saved my life.

[00:30:39]I'm sorry to the prosecutor for having a fight on Austin's behalf. And to the defense team for the hard talks and the tears over the year, to the community I had a ripple effect out to. I never imagined it would hurt the hurt would spread so far. to Matt for taking him before you were able to fix your relationship.

[00:31:04]Mostly to our friends and family and the friends that are family. I'm sorry for blind hide blindsiding you with such heartache. I can only begin to imagine what this has put you all through. I know there are no magical words to make it better.

[00:31:21]I sorted a hundred letters trying to, but it never seems right.

[00:31:26]I guess because nothing would be right again. At the time, I was too sick to see past our own pain and fear to grasp how much it would hurt the ones we love the most. Being suicidal, I was really good at that. Because of my health, the shame, and the paranoia, there was so much I wasn't telling anyone.

[00:31:47]out of fear of losing Austin and out of fear of losing Austin and I see now that would have been best but I didn't think anybody would ever love or understand the way I could.

[00:31:59]Starting in 2020, my already struggling mental and physical health declined to the point we are no longer leaving the house house except for doctor's appointments.

[00:32:10]After 5 years of not being out in the world, it became really hard for me to tell what was real and not real. With the algorithms on my phone being nothing but the world is ending content, I fell so deeply into an echo chamber that we were living in a different reality. And it was a terrible one.

[00:32:28]I had managed to keep my head above water, but barely. In November of 2024 is when I drowned. My mental health rapidly declined. I began to think the FBI was watching me from across the street. I would spend eight hours a day watching out of my bedroom window trying to decode people's behavior and prove myself right. I was checking all my outlet for bugs and when I couldn't find any, I thought they were using mind readading drones.

[00:32:57]My brain was broken.

[00:33:00]I I then came what I think was a jumping off point. I started seeing videos about the government sending mentally ill to what they call wellness farms and my brain broke.

[00:33:16]It very quickly turned into fear that they were coming to get us at any moment and taking us to concentration camps.

[00:33:23]All of this on top of my already declining physical health, my increasing chronic pain. and I no longer knew how to protect Austin.

[00:33:32]My mind and body were in a state of survival and I was failing. We were scared. We were alone. And our depression had an answer.

[00:33:41]Only after a year of therapy, medication, soularching, and finding God can I now see that night for what it really was. I now see the influence I had on his decision making, and it haunts my every waking moment.

[00:33:56]I never intended for him to suffer in any way.

[00:34:00]In my broken thinking, I was saving him from it. Every day, every thought, every nightmare, every flashback, every moment without him, I'll forever be punished.

[00:34:10]But I know that's not enough.

[00:34:13]I will spend the rest of my life in prison trying to process what I could have done differently and how I could have reached out and continually continuing to speak out about the warning signs that I so clearly see now looking back now. For me, the only thing scarier than life in prison is life without Austin. And I'm so sorry I gave everybody that sentence.

[00:34:43]Thank you.

[00:34:47]>> Does that conclude your comments?

[00:34:49]>> It does.

[00:34:50]>> Lee was sentenced to 60 to 90 years in prison. A family member of her sons told mive.com after the hearing in January where she received that sentence that Lee is not a mom, she's a monster. That will do it for On the Case presented by Law and Crime. Subscribe to us on YouTube and Spotify, and you can also find us streaming on Peacock. I'm Chris Stewart. We'll see you next time.