S2 E4: “The Love that didn’t Leave”

Added: 2026-06-02

[00:00:00]What you going to do when you get a mouthful? I'mma eat it up when I'm at the table. [music] Who's going to listen when you get an earful? [singing] Everybody listen when they got their mouth [music] full.

[00:00:09]>> Am I full of this? A mouthful of that. A mouthful [music] of love. A mouth a mouth. A mouthful.

[00:00:20]A mouth. They say [music] don't talk with your mouth open, but I got a lot to say. Hey, what's up everybody? I'm Quy >> and I'm Andre. And this is a mouthful.

[00:00:32]So, this is a very, very, very different episode today. Um, you know, we decided to slow it down, strip it down. Uh, this episode is about grief and, uh, how we deal with grief. And I know a lot of us have this in common on the stage. Um, we have an incredible special guest today, Ukraine. How are you? Can you tell us about you and where you're from? Um um I'm from Ukraine originally, but I moved to the United States when I was 18 years old.

[00:00:59]>> Um just to kick it and >> make some music and I spent around 7 years in North Carolina before I moved to Portland in Oregon.

[00:01:11]>> So he's a southern boy, too.

[00:01:14]>> Yeah, the southern hospitality is hard to beat.

[00:01:16]>> And and you guys, he's singing for us.

[00:01:19]He's singing >> later on.

[00:01:20]>> Yeah. Yeah. later on in the show. We got him to uh to agree to that uh you know, Dancing with a Baddy. He's going to perform for us today. Um >> he also is one of the sound people for our show too as well. So >> he's he's the sound producer for the show. So I thank you for stepping in front of the camera for us today to talk about something so personal.

[00:01:38]>> Yeah, I'm lucky and grateful to be here.

[00:01:40]>> Of course, Andre.

[00:01:41]>> So you know, the one reason why we kind of thought about this episode was it's just um you know, you got to cheers to the ancestors. You have to talk about the people that brought you here.

[00:01:53]>> Yeah.

[00:01:54]>> And how you celebrate them and then when it comes down to grief, everybody knows it's all stages. And so >> and andre, can we all go around and say who we lost and um you know what impact it had on our life. Starting with you, Andre.

[00:02:09]>> So with me personally, it was my dad.

[00:02:12]>> Wow.

[00:02:13]And I just think it was a different impact on my life because I've always was very self-sufficient and that's something that I got from him.

[00:02:21]>> Right.

[00:02:22]>> What about you, Ukraine?

[00:02:23]>> Uh I lost my mom in 2024 and it's uh been a a pretty tragic time ever since because uh my mom and I had a pretty deep bond and >> Wow. she uh constantly checked in on me and it almost felt like we were connected on on a quantum level where if I feel bad or I'm going through some tough times in my life, she would always reach out and and check on me um [snorts] >> out of nowhere and just to confirm that I'm okay. And in most cases, I wasn't okay at the time. And >> so it just goes to show how tight we are with our ancestors.

[00:03:00]>> Yeah. And I I lost the reason why the show took a hiatus guys is because I lost my father in September of 2024.

[00:03:10]And um as Andre who was there for me, you know, having gone through it before me, it was a horrible time. I thought because my father didn't raise me and that we weren't close that it would hurt less if he ever passed. And my oh my, it hurt. And um it literally positioned me to be in a place where I instantly became a pillar or the backbone of my family. So uh Andre and I thought it was just great to talk about this because I looked online. I looked everywhere to see if I could find resources to help me grieve faster or feel quicker, you know?

[00:03:46]>> And this is the one thing I explained to him. You don't it's it's a process. And I'm saying and I even told him I'm like it's you can't >> Yeah. And I'm like, you at the end of the day, even though you don't think you have this bond with your parents, you do.

[00:03:59]>> Yeah.

[00:03:59]>> And it's going to hit you differently.

[00:04:01]Like, you know, >> me and my dad, we had our our issues.

[00:04:05]>> Yeah.

[00:04:06]>> But the thing is, it's like when you lose a parent, you like you don't realize it.

[00:04:14]>> No, you don't. And people who haven't lost parents, they take them for granted.

[00:04:19]>> They take them for granted. And I don't give a damn what your parent has done and hasn't done. What they've called you, what they said, you know, whatever the argument is. Look, you have you have only one set of parents. Forgive that [ __ ] and move on because when they're no longer here, they're gone forever.

[00:04:38]There's no argument, no no no no no no fussing, no money, no thing >> uh more important. and even time on earth if they're here on earth, you know, make amends, apologize, and and and sometimes we have to teach our parents, have y'all learned this, how to be parents. We have to teach them things.

[00:04:55]>> I don't think it's necessarily about apologizing. It's just like having enough just making amends. And I think that's that's like a big thing that people need to realize. It's just like sometimes >> you can sometimes you have to like like accept people who they are.

[00:05:10]>> Yeah. But at least you can say that you did everything in your power to try. So, but then there are people that do have these amazing bond with their parents, >> right?

[00:05:19]>> And I wasn't one of them. My grandmother raised me. So, I thought when she passed in 2020 20 2014, I was like, "Oh, my mom and daddy leave me. I'm not I ain't going to care cuz my grandmother was my everything." You know, she she raised me since 6 months and I'm preparing for like, oh, this smooth transition. And I remember it like yesterday. And I want to ask you guys this question. Where were you and what were you doing when you found out your parents passed? I'll start with you, you Craig.

[00:05:44]>> Um, I was in the state of shock initially just because I didn't even know how to react.

[00:05:49]>> What were you doing?

[00:05:50]>> Uh, I probably was locked in the studio.

[00:05:52]>> Okay.

[00:05:53]>> Yeah. Um, just working on some music as usual.

[00:05:56]>> Uh, and when my dad called me and, uh, mentioned that my mom has passed away and, um, that's all he said that day.

[00:06:06]But then it just went on lingering in my mind and I think the actual realization of pain didn't occur until after 3 days >> and I just had to cry it out and that's when the final release happened. But until then, I I I was mostly confused about what to even think.

[00:06:24]>> Yeah.

[00:06:24]>> Of it. And it was just the emotional aspect that needed to be processed because otherwise words would not be enough to describe >> the complexity and of the >> and and and to you all watching this, if you need to pause this >> and take time um and come back and watch this because uh the topic is too hard for you, please take time to do so. Um but we are speaking about things that may uh cause a lot of emotional distress. Um so we just want to give you that trigger warning.

[00:07:01]>> Yeah. because it's not like I said it's it's not throw the faint heart but like quizzy what what was your because I know yours was >> I feel very >> you know I I um I'll give you a little backdrop without saying too much um I was abandoned by my mom and my dad um at 6 months old I didn't meet my parents until I was a teenager and before then I had a very you know uh tumultuous troubled childhood because of the way I was raised, how I was raised and I met my parents for the first time when I was a teenager and it blew my world up because not only were they alive, they had two other children living in a healthy, happy family. So, I resented my brothers and sisters and my family for a while. Um, went to therapy and uh realized that, you know, it didn't happen to me, it happened for me.

[00:07:57]And I had never I have never lived in a house with my mom and my dad, you know, like in the same house. So my grandmother raised me, she was my mom and my dad. I thought that when they passed away, it would have it would have no effect on me. But I realized after my dad passed, apparently he he called me the chosen one. He named me. Um he had all the news clippings for my music. He knew all my music, all my songs. I thought he wasn't in my life. I thought he didn't care.

[00:08:27]Um, and I was I remember I was sitting on the couch with Sean, probably watching anime, eating some takeout, and I got a phone call. And uh, that call changed my life. My father had potentially passed away. And even that news just it I was stuck. I was stuck. I didn't know how to feel. Um, and I I was stuck. And some days I'm still stuck. It comes in waves, but I'm learning how to get through it.

[00:08:57]What sort of relationship did you have with your dad?

[00:09:00]>> Um, in the future of at when I got through all the craziness, um, I remember being at Morehouse and I'm I'm a first generation college student. Um, my parents came to my graduation. Mom, dad, and my dad, he was like, "You, you know, you're living the life, you know, I wanted to live, and you know, you're doing the things I wanted to do." I did not know, guys. My dad was a a soul a soul gospel singer.

[00:09:26]He was in a a quartet uh called the Southerns and they was they were really big in in in uh the South. Had no idea my dad was a singer.

[00:09:34]>> Wow.

[00:09:34]>> I thought this was just God-given.

[00:09:37]>> But it's it was in the DNA. It was so incredible to learn.

[00:09:40]>> How old were you when when you found out that he was in in the band?

[00:09:44]>> Oh, man. It was after he passed. So, it was it was probably about um what three uh two two three years ago. And they had like newspap they they were singing, you know, like singing.

[00:09:54]>> Incredible story.

[00:09:55]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so I was like, what? He was singing?

[00:09:58]>> These things [laughter] are kind of hard to hide.

[00:10:00]>> Yeah. You know, I was cuz I and I was I remember when your mom passed away because I remember cuz you were living with China and I remember the one thing cuz I cuz you said you your mom made a green bean casserole and it reminded you of her and China really made [laughter] >> she made it way bad. China tried to make and it was so bad, but she really tried for you.

[00:10:21]>> Shout out to China, but girl, stay away from the green bean castle.

[00:10:24]>> China has been looking out for me big time.

[00:10:26]>> She she she has the biggest heart in the world. And And >> it was so bad.

[00:10:31]>> Well, Andre, you can't you can't get out of this. Where were you?

[00:10:34]>> Where were you when you found out your father passed away?

[00:10:36]>> Oh, I was at work.

[00:10:38]>> I remember you called me. Remember that?

[00:10:40]>> Yeah. Um and it was >> He he dealt with it differently because you worked yourself and worked yourself and worked yourself.

[00:10:46]>> Yeah. I actually went to work and it was very weird for me because I was like, "Oh yeah, my dad died." And um they're like, "Do you need a a moment?" I'm like, "No, I'm fine." And I just kept working.

[00:10:59]Um because like my dad was a workaholic and >> I wonder where you get it from. And it was one of those things where um you know we um you know we had a very weird relationship because I do remember my dad being there for a lot of stuff but also my dad didn't come to terms towards the end he did comes to terms about who I am >> and it was one of those things where he just really wanted to um wanted me because I do have a younger brother and younger sister. He wanted me to be >> beautiful younger sister. Shout out to Mariah You know, I love her.

[00:11:36]>> And Alex.

[00:11:37]>> And Alex. I haven't met Alex yet.

[00:11:39]>> Yeah. Well, I know >> he's special.

[00:11:41]>> Yeah. Mariah's brilliant, by the way.

[00:11:43]His little sister. She has like a she had like a 4.6 GPA.

[00:11:46]>> Yeah. She was Val Victorian for Casttec.

[00:11:48]Um, so she's at University of Michigan.

[00:11:50]>> That's my little sister.

[00:11:52]>> So I This is a question, too. I'll start with you. Do you feel like >> when your mother left this earth, do you feel like she knows who you truly were?

[00:12:00]Do you feel like you you had a closer where Andre and I, you know, we we dealt with a lot of um being queer, right? Um there is this certain unspoken >> Yeah.

[00:12:13]>> thing that most people of color deal with, right, when when their father find they're queer or other.

[00:12:19]>> Were you because you're a straight man, were did your you feel like your mother fully knew who you were? This is a very interesting question because uh before she passed away, we had a conversation where I had to I knew that she was on her way out um because of the condition of her physical health. Um I felt like the ant was uh inevitable and therefore I had to come clean about certain aspects of of my life >> uh to just fully uh inform her >> Yeah.

[00:12:52]uh what I am about and what I've been doing in the United States. And you know, she was very understanding. In fact, she she she helped me to to sort out certain details of uh what I was going through at the time. Um some things that I can't speak about. Uh but um it was uh really comforting to know that she had my back no matter what.

[00:13:14]>> Yeah, I think mostly due high moral standards.

[00:13:20]>> Cheers.

[00:13:23]Um and then >> so um yeah because I also um what was okay what's like uh one of the best memories that you have about your mom >> that would probably be uh her cooking borch >> cooking borch and um she was a very caring mother and sometimes to a very overbearing uh extent >> or as it seems.

[00:13:56]>> Yeah. But in in fact it was just a whole lot of love. Um and um it was um incredible to see her be so dedicated to my life because she didn't have a career per se. So her purpose of life pretty much was to ensure that I grow up to be [clears throat] a responsible individual. Yeah. Therefore, >> what about you, Crazy? What is a memory about your dad?

[00:14:27]>> You know, it's it's so wild. Um there are a few. Um I used to get these random messages from my dad um on Facebook. Like [snorts] when parents found out Facebook, my dad was sending So annoying.

[00:14:42]>> Yeah. My dad will be sending me my music. [laughter] >> That was That was a new level because I >> Yeah, I know it's me.

[00:14:49]>> Yeah. Yeah. I was like I never knew it.

[00:14:51]He's like, "Oh, this is my this this my song. This my shit." I was like, "What you?" And it was on Soundcloud. Like not even Apple Music or Spotify, but I was like so um so so encouraged because I thought he had no idea uh what I was doing had and had no care what I was doing. But uh to find out he was my biggest fan and uh when he passed away and my mom and my younger brother like oh he yeah he's he's always singing your songs and doing this and doing that I was like what you know and I had a I had a EP called Mary Jane I mean uh flowers [snorts] about drugs [laughter] about drugs guys Danny Molly you know Mary Jane opioids and um you know uh he he really loved the music and um he So he he he told me that uh I had made him proud and that I had done things that he couldn't even fathom of doing and even just being able to be queer in the world and being black and queer from the south.

[00:15:52]>> Well, you you said some he said you said your dad said something interesting.

[00:15:56]>> Oh, which one?

[00:15:58]>> Well, I mean what what what what >> Well, the whole thing of just like being queer, just like living your truth.

[00:16:03]>> Yeah, because um I guess you know my dad was 70 73 when he passed. 71, 73, something like that. And um literally from Jim Crow, Jim Crow South. And him and his brothers, they didn't get to be like black, right? They didn't get to be anything, let alone being able to travel the world, let alone being able to be queer, let alone being able to be artist, being being other things, or just being black people in the world that are smiling, that are happy, they're experiencing these things they never thought they could experience. So, you know, shout out to dad and all the other people who couldn't be on this this fabulous ass stage talking about their feelings as being of color, you know, like they couldn't do this, especially online.

[00:16:49]>> They did not know how to do it.

[00:16:51]>> No, they can't. They don't. We weren't allowed to. You had to like >> Yeah.

[00:16:55]>> Keep calm and push it through.

[00:16:57]>> Yeah. You got to, you know, pray it away. Go go go, you know, all this other stuff didn't exist. But um I just want to I want to shout out to our parents and all the people that that couldn't do this for real. Like let's let's do this.

[00:17:10]Andre >> truly is a luxury.

[00:17:12]>> What am I doing?

[00:17:12]>> We're taking a toast to our parents.

[00:17:14]>> All right. I still have a little left, so we're good. Well, honestly, I have the funniest story about my dad. I remember going to the movie theaters and like there like when I was little, we went to go watch the movie Beethoven.

[00:17:25]Keep in mind, so my dad's from Detroit, so we don't they don't show emotion. Um, can I tell you my dad was balling in the movie Beethoven and I looked at him like >> about the dog, right?

[00:17:38]>> About the [ __ ] dog. And he was crying and I'm like, "What the [ __ ] is happening?" And I was like, "What the hell?"

[00:17:46]>> And that was the first time. And I'm like, "Oh, so he has emotion."

[00:17:49]>> Yeah.

[00:17:50]>> And like And then looking back at it, my dad did like to cry. And it's so funny because like my dad has a very colorful past, which I can't really talk about.

[00:17:57]Oh, >> but um it was just it was just weird to see that. And so that's the one thing is like my dad was a big crybaby >> for emotional events like and it was so funny because even for my sister's graduation I'm like yeah if my dad was here he would be balling.

[00:18:12]>> Yeah >> like a little girl.

[00:18:14]>> I know it's slightly off topic but um has a movie ever made you cry?

[00:18:19]>> Oh everything makes me cry now. Yeah, >> I I would I um I was watching something or you know it wasn't even a movie. It was but I was watch I saw this guy and his dad walking in front of my building and I'm just dying. I'm like oh [ __ ] I could you know I want that. You know what I'm saying? So everything now I'm just like >> I'm so [ __ ] up. Movies the only thing that makes me cry is movies.

[00:18:42]>> Yeah. So what about you? Do you see do you see moments or [laughter] things?

[00:18:46]Uh, ironically, the only time I cried during the movie was um, uh, when a bunch of records got drowned in the ocean. [laughter] >> Not the music.

[00:18:56]>> Exactly. Yeah. And the dude was desperately trying to, you know, save him and stuff. But >> so, so my next question to you both, okay, can we speak about our support systems? Because um when when people pass over or become our guardian angels, our ancestors, we we don't get through, we don't get forward without the people we have around us to help us through things. Can we speak about the people um in your life that have helped you through? And um can you just give them a little love and let them know that you appreciate them?

[00:19:27]>> Absolutely. Um, I want to shout out to my friend Nick who uh gave me a very valuable advice. Uh, that it's not necessarily um what happens to us that makes us feel pain, but it's how we portray ourselves to the world when pain happens to us.

[00:19:46]Um, and that just made me realize that if I um go forward with a positive outlook on life and and not focus too much on the past, >> but more on the present. Um, then uh it it gets much easier way faster.

[00:20:04]>> Shout out to Nick. Shout out to Nirvana, too.

[00:20:07][laughter] >> And uh >> what about you, Qu >> Oh, he's not done. He's not >> Oh, I'm sorry. I did not mean to cut you off.

[00:20:16]>> Yeah. And I want to mention my girlfriend Nirvana.

[00:20:18]>> Of course. Yeah.

[00:20:21]>> Um she's been there for me. Um because Nirvana gave me the most valuable advice ever.

[00:20:30]>> Yeah.

[00:20:30]>> Which was to reach out uh not to reach out but >> to write down um the last words to my mom and >> that's when the when the final process of releasing happened. Um that process made made me cry and realized that um that was just once in a lifetime opportunity because if I had written those words uh a year later it wouldn't have the same impact.

[00:20:57]>> No, no, no, no, no.

[00:20:59]>> Yeah. So, shout out to Nana >> for helping me out.

[00:21:04]>> Sorry. Um Andre, [laughter] >> wait. What's up? What was the question?

[00:21:09]>> Oh, man. Um your support system, you know, people that have helped you get through You know, >> I don't have No, I'm joking. No. Well, you know, first of all, I like Why are you sitting up here and act like you're not my support system?

[00:21:22]>> I mean, >> I like he's This is like the one time he wants to be [ __ ] humble and modest.

[00:21:27]Come on now, girl.

[00:21:28]>> You know, >> let's keep it real. No, he knows like [snorts] cuz I I will be can I I I will call him and he will just be like Andre cuz you know I I I think it's just one of those things where I'm always having to be the strong person, >> right?

[00:21:44]>> So I don't like I usually people don't think of me of having emotions or they think of me being just like stoic.

[00:21:52]>> But the problem is I keep it all bottled in.

[00:21:55]>> Yeah. and I just process it differently.

[00:21:59]And you are one of the people that I always be like, "Hey, Andre, are you good?"

[00:22:05]>> Yeah, it's okay. You know, um >> you know, and I do and like, you know, I do have other friends in my life. Uh but I will say that you and also our associate producer, Lexi.

[00:22:17]>> Oh, yeah. She's a good one.

[00:22:18]>> That [ __ ] crazy heer. Yeah. I I love how they I love how they refer to um our best friends as the chosen family.

[00:22:26]>> Yeah. Yeah. The family you choose.

[00:22:28]>> Um I think >> Yeah.

[00:22:30]>> You know, it's it's easy to be there for you. I mean, you're very hard-headed and uh >> not hard. Stubborn, but >> not stubborn.

[00:22:38]>> I think one one thing that Andre can't ignore is truth. When something makes sense, when it when when you know when it when it's logical. That's that's my approach when whenever speaking to you about you know issues where I have to like you know penetrate through the the stubbornness but >> well because if it make it make sense.

[00:22:55]>> Yeah. Yeah. And I think I have received the best advice um by a stranger. I remember going out the same night or night after you took me out to the club. I don't know who this person was. Um, but it was this uh this white British guy and [snorts] um he told me that grief is love not expressed and that that sat with me. Um, and because I realized I had so much love and so many things that I never said, I never did. I never told him. And I I I sit with that love. I And um I'm I'm able to understand the grief because I know how much love is in me. And I I spent the majority of my life not knowing my dad only to realize that I didn't have to know him because I was a part of him. And um now as I get older and I look in the mirror, I'm like, damn, I look like this man, you know, which is crazy cuz I, you know, I wanted so far nothing to do with him based off of what I had been told about him.

[00:24:08]>> Yeah.

[00:24:09]>> Only to get to the end of his life and realize that we had more in common than I ever knew.

[00:24:13]>> Yeah.

[00:24:13]>> So, this is so profound, >> you know.

[00:24:16]>> You know, okay, so I'm going to change it. Okay. So, you know that and it sucks because you know, we are always thinking about mortality. So it's just like what do you want when you pass? What do you want people like to believe? Cuz this is what I say. First of all, >> if I'm dead, I don't want to be buried.

[00:24:33]Just burn my body up. I'm sorry. Like like my body is not going to like [laughter] don't put me in the ground. I want my ashes 20,000 50,000. I just >> Why? just burn like burn my ashes and then literally I'm going to have whoever is like the beneficiary you get a good plane travel ticket and just travel and just have my ashes throughout the world but I'm just saying like I don't want to [ __ ] be buried underground >> and also I don't want a funeral >> okay >> I want it to be a very like I know it's like everybody's like I want it to be a festival I really do want it to be that way and also you know what I'm going to take a book from Shannon Dhy's book I'm going to be petty I don't want [ __ ] who I did not [ __ ] with to go to my [laughter] [ __ ] funeral. No, my memorial. You're not going. If I didn't [ __ ] with you in real life, like literally. And I want that person to be like, "Andre, and I'm going to I'm going to have a list >> to on my deathbed. I'm writing a list.

[00:25:27]>> This person better not come a foot. And I want security. And I want the person to call security." And you have to say it like that. Security.

[00:25:35]>> Okay. So, so we got that part. But what do you want people to What legacy do you want to leave? I just want them to know that I try to do a difference. Like, you know, I at least wanted to say, >> you know what?

[00:25:48]>> I I don't want to say I spoke up for the little guy, but I just wanted to be like I at least if I can know like I made a little change in this world, even with this our podcast, like as long cuz you like I said, we're coming into certain times and I feel like if we can make a little change with this, I'm all for it.

[00:26:04]>> Do you think your father would be proud of what you've done?

[00:26:07]>> You know what the funny thing is? I know he is because that's something that things people told me because the one thing when everything happened they always like the one thing that he >> being as stubborn he's like he was always proud of you >> right >> he never told you which and like you know what like come on now we we got to we got to tell our like you got to tell your kids that you're proud of them >> don't let it be them hearing it from other people they have to hear it from you >> okay you create the same questions what what do you want what your legacy to and you think your mom is proud of you for what you what you're doing now?

[00:26:42]>> Um, this has been my north pole because I felt like my mom hasn't got to experience the full extent of my creative possibilities and and my expression of life and relationships in this life. So, um, this is something that I'm going I'm trying to manifest postmortem, >> right? Um but as far as the legacy goes um I think the most important legacy uh for me personally will be to um just leave a good body of work and um be a respectable individual.

[00:27:31]>> What about you Quay? Um, honestly, I just want to get I want to leave this earth empty. Um, I have so much in inside of my head. Um, whether it be music or creative things and um I just want to be empty. I I I was once told as a kid by my grandmother that the richest place in the world is a cemetery.

[00:27:53]And that's where dreams go to die.

[00:27:56]That's where people with all these ideas, all these things they want to do, they never get to do. And >> so no should have would a couldas.

[00:28:03]>> No should have could have wouldas. And look uh I don't need permission to be who the [ __ ] I am. I'm going to try and try and try and try and try and you know that's just that's built into me and all the people around me. I want that to be contagious because we are enough.

[00:28:22]Um, and I just I hope that my legacy is, you know, this guy never box himself in and that he inspired everyone just to be, just to do, and never give up on themselves, you know. Um, I I have nothing else that is more important than positioning myself and position other people to be the best version of themselves.

[00:28:48]>> What would be your message to the upcoming generations?

[00:28:52]you that they are enough today, not five months from now, not five years from now, not 50 years from now. You're enough right now. And my favorite book is The Alchemist, you know, because it's about this this person that goes literally around the world to get to the end of the world to figure out who they are when they all they needed was already inside of them. I my message is to stop looking outward to find who you are and just start trusting inward and and trusting what you already have. What about you? agreed >> to stay positive and healthy.

[00:29:24]>> Oh, health as wealth >> I think. Yeah, it sets the tone uh for our behavior and our expressions. And also, if there was another advice, there would probably be to train the left and right hemispheres of your brain equally.

[00:29:43]>> Oh, that's that's dope.

[00:29:44]>> I think dance helps a lot with engaging your extremities in a very balanced way.

[00:29:48]>> You put me up on the dance floor, huh?

[00:29:49]>> Oh. Um, I double I double. [laughter] >> Andre, what about you? What's your message to the youngest generation?

[00:29:57]>> Um, not to be [ __ ] No, I'm joking.

[00:30:00]Uh, you know, honestly, no, I wasn't joking, but I am. No, I'm not. No, but um, also just self-awareness. And I think that's the one thing that is lacking is like you have to be self-aware.

[00:30:10]>> It's okay if you don't hit the mark. And I feel like people when they're wrong, they're so to be strong and wrong and double down on it. It's okay. It's okay to be like, "Hey, I [ __ ] up in a situation >> and, you know, apologize for it and like, you know what, it's probably going to happen again, but as long as you acknowledge it and try to be very mindful, then I think it's like >> we're too prideful."

[00:30:35]>> Yeah.

[00:30:36]>> It's It's not that bad to say, "I'm sorry."

[00:30:38]>> Yeah.

[00:30:40]>> I mean, you know, Justin Bieber says it.

[00:30:42]I'm sorry.

[00:30:42]>> Yeah.

[00:30:43]>> So, we can do, too. Everybody listens to the beep. So, like, you know, we got to listen to beep. So, we should say I'm sorry, >> not the bees. Um, I have I have one final question for you all. What would you tell someone who's currently grieving and that's watching this? Um, what advice uh would you give them that you you didn't know, but now you do know or maybe you don't have any advice.

[00:31:05]Maybe you can give them an objective or, you know, something to reach to. Um, what what do you have to say?

[00:31:13]Um it's a bit biased advice in my case.

[00:31:18]Um uh my main mechanism of coping with the pain was to play music.

[00:31:23]>> Uh music has been the primary healer for my traumas.

[00:31:28]>> Yeah.

[00:31:29]>> Um be it in my family or otherwise. Um >> Yeah. And if I could uh have you one more time, can you tell everyone that's watching and listening where to find your music, where to hear your music, how do they reach you, how do they connect with you?

[00:31:45]>> Uh, in order to find me, all you have to do is type in UK R a Y in the search engine of your favorite streaming platforms and I should pop up.

[00:31:56]>> Do you have any projects coming out that everyone should be listening to or >> I had just I have just released a single on April 1st. I just wanted to be released on April April's Fool's Day. Uh it's called Expensive Taste.

[00:32:09]>> Expensive Taste. We [snorts] like that.

[00:32:10]We know about that.

[00:32:12]>> Absolutely. Yeah. The song is about how um expensive taste or desire to have luxurious things in our life often drive us to do illegal things and such. Um I've I've noticed that pattern, you know. Um um so that's what the song is about. But it's represented in a more playful and uh light-hearted way.

[00:32:39]>> Okay.

[00:32:39]>> Yeah.

[00:32:40]>> Thank you for that.

[00:32:42]>> Anytime.

[00:32:43]>> Andre, >> what up?

[00:32:44]>> What what what um message or advice would you give someone who's dealing and coping with grief right now?

[00:32:50]>> You know what it's about? You have to deal with it on your own terms. Um don't let people dictate how you want to feel. Um, and I think that's something I told you because I'm like, and I told you it's going to come in waves. Like, one minute you're five, the next minute you want to [ __ ] burn a [ __ ] restaurant down.

[00:33:11]>> Yeah.

[00:33:11]>> Throw bottles and torch the [ __ ] and another day you want to go pet a kitten. It's okay. That's fine. But it's just about all you have to do is remember your you just have to remember the good things and then sometimes that's like the best thing you need to do.

[00:33:31]>> Okay.

[00:33:31]>> But it has to be on your terms and just don't let somebody tell you to get over it.

[00:33:37]>> Yeah.

[00:33:38]>> But also don't I'm sorry, but just don't milk it either. I'm sorry. I'm going to say that too. [laughter] I'm a [ __ ] If I'm going to be a [ __ ] I'mma be a [ __ ] [ __ ] E say don't milk it.

[00:33:51]>> Don't don't milk it.

[00:33:52]>> What do you mean by that?

[00:33:54]>> You know, >> I'm just there there are certain people and like you know who you are and if I have to say that and if I get to I don't [ __ ] care.

[00:34:04]>> No, but because you can't don't let it define you is what I mean. This the one thing is you should not let it define you. And I feel like you should if you really want to move forward, if you really want to help, reach out for help. But don't use it as a way to mascot everybody's like disguise shitty behavior >> because some people be doing that.

[00:34:27]>> Yeah.

[00:34:27]>> Don't be like, "Oh, my dad died and let me be a [ __ ] asshole." No, >> don't do that.

[00:34:33]>> Deal with your grief responsible.

[00:34:34]>> Deal with the problem.

[00:34:36]>> Yeah.

[00:34:36]>> But don't use that as the excuse.

[00:34:38]>> You got anything.

[00:34:39]>> And if I say that, I don't I don't give a [ __ ] that look hidden. You hear me?

[00:34:44]>> No, that was well said. Actually, I have nothing to add to that point.

[00:34:47]>> Uh, time takes time. Time takes time. I thought that I could just rush through this thing. I could rush through this process. Look, I am a very avoidant person when it comes to dealing with [ __ ] that just going to make me feel like I'm not in control. I love being in control and uh this is one of those things where I couldn't be in control and I hated it. You know, I did all these things to kind of like force myself to deal with it, you know, even even whiling out, you know, even doing [ __ ] I don't even do. And I was still She be out, bro.

[00:35:23]>> Yeah. I mean, you know, you know, >> I'm alive. Um life is for the living.

[00:35:28]But I I just realized that I just needed to sit down and deal with myself. And I I needed to um I couldn't even make music. I thought I could make music. I couldn't even write. I couldn't sing. I I I couldn't go to my usual um things.

[00:35:44]And I'm just here to tell you if that is you, that is okay. Try something new.

[00:35:49]You know what I'm saying? Like be [ __ ] whatever you need to be to deal with what you got to deal with. And don't take it out on the people that love you. I never answer the portion of the of the the friend group or the support group that have have been there for me. You've been there for me. When my father passed, you were there for me.

[00:36:09]Um uh I I have so many people in my life that I'm fortunate enough that are not around me for things. Uh we have real relationships. So thank you guys. And thank you to my mom. I know that we didn't have, you know, the best start to this life thing, but I love you dearly.

[00:36:27]You are my north star. And um thank you for holding me down. Uh I'm I'm really excited that I get to meet my dad through my mom now, guys. So, um, I'm get a little emotional, but I love you, Mom.

[00:36:42]>> And, uh, thank you. Thank you guys for that for >> this conversation.

[00:36:45]>> Oh my god. It's okay.

[00:36:47]>> No, I know.

[00:36:48]>> See, this is what Yeah. No, I know. Like I said, we we know this is going to heavy and like I said, I appreciate this.

[00:36:55]>> You We're going to hear you next. We're going to let you know.

[00:36:58]>> Oh, can we ask you?

[00:37:00]>> I think enough. Well said. enough with >> how do you how do you how did you write uh you know the song that you're about to sing? What was inspiration?

[00:37:09]>> Um my inspiration was um my favorite person out there [laughter] >> because the name of the song is uh Dance for me. Uh, so it naturally implies that it's about my girl [laughter] >> record.

[00:37:25]>> I wrote it for my girl Nirvana who I love so much and she's been there for me through the most painful times in my upbringing as a US citizen and such. Um, but the song is about the expression of love obviously and um, >> yeah, Dance for Me Batty. Um, soon to be released, but as of right now, it's just a big concept, >> a mouthful exclusive, guys. So, just stay tuned >> on the release.

[00:37:51]>> And, um, thank you for being here.

[00:37:54]>> And, uh, if you guys are dealing with grief or if you're dealing with anything where you need assistance, please, please, please reach out to the resources. We will have a number posted at the bottom of the screen that you can call if you need help >> and also just call a close friend.

[00:38:10]>> Yeah. Yeah. Or if you need to speak to someone, DM us if you can't get a hold of someone. But we are here for you all.

[00:38:17]We all dealing with this together.

[00:38:20]>> And um we love you.

[00:38:23]>> Much love.

[00:38:24]>> Up next, Ukra.

[00:38:27]Thank you.

[00:38:30]>> Yo, I'm so excited. um to wrap a bow on this and what we've discussed. I have a friend of mine who's a personal friend and who's also the music producer of the show. His name is Ukraine, originally from Ukraine. Um when you hear certain musicians music, you know that they understand music theory. You know that they have a lot of pain and you know that they've turned that pain into purpose. Um, I am just so excited and just grateful that I ran into you that day. I ran into you and now we have so much history together. Please, please, please give him your undivided attention. This is Ukra with dance for me on a mouthful.

[00:39:21][music] >> [music] [music] >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:39:43][music] It's been raining all night. Will it ever go away? Lady, I'm fine. You're supposed to play with me. Feelings don't lie. I'm [music] halfway my way. [ __ ] on the side keep circling me. Never been kind. [music] Have me spinning all day.

[00:40:02]What are you hiding? Driving me crazy.

[00:40:05]Smelling those diamonds in the driveway.

[00:40:09]Ding all the time while spinning all day.

[00:40:14]Dance for me.

[00:40:17][music] One more time.

[00:40:21]Dance for me.

[00:40:26]>> [music] >> Dance for me.

[00:40:31]One [music] more time.

[00:40:34]Dance for me [music] and I'll be like I take you to a place to fulfill the [music] faith. Till the sun r up stimulated. I kind of get a vibe. We should pick up the pace and take it to the next level at 20 [music] to five. We lit like rebels running as [singing] hard as a devil. So we got to [music] get dress level loose and get up. I'm going at [music and singing] it. The way I use my energy makes everything better on the loose cuz I'm a gogetter. I'm coming and getting it and I don't roll what you want most. [music] Partner with me on the west coast. We going to do right. [singing] I don't feel the wrong when I feel the hype.

[00:41:29]Simply trying [music] to get it on.

[00:41:31]Yeah. Yeah.

[00:41:33]Dance for me.

[00:41:36][music] One more time.

[00:41:40]Dance for me, buddy.

[00:41:43][music] [music] [music] >> [music]