Signs She (Secretly) Thinks You're Attractive

Hinzugefügt: 2026-05-14

[00:00:01]Hello everybody. I'm a practicing therapist and a doctoral student of psychology. Today, let's talk about signs that a woman is secretly attracted to you and the things that she will do when she's attracted. This is based on research. Now, the research is in the description box. There is a lot of research for this particular video. And I'm not going to touch on like every single point like I typically do. And the reason why I'm not is because most of these points are repeated throughout many of the research. It's a pretty fundamental. the topics that we're talking about is pretty fundamental.

[00:00:31]Like it's there's a lot of research about it, right? And so, yes, the research does show all of this, but it's not just like one research. It's like two or three or four or five. And so, you're going to see that. I'll still touch on it, but just probably not as much as I typically do because it's just it's quite a lot. And this video will be like 40 minutes long. Okay. Um, the very first one is that she is more emotionally reactive to you and more invested in your perception. Okay. This is very fundamental to attraction.

[00:00:57]Research does show that attraction often increases emotional responsiveness. And this research can go all the way from 1999 to all the way up to 2013 was I think the most recent one. You can look at the description box. I can't remember because there's so many right now, but I know the first one was 1999 and at least one I'm seeing. She's very emotionally attached to you and she's more reactive to you in general based on how you perceive things. So, I'm going to give some examples so this makes a little bit more sense. Let's just say you're in a bad mood, which a lot of you guys probably know this. She might keep asking you like, "Are you okay? What's on your mind? What are you thinking about? Are you mad at me?" These are because she's reactive towards whatever mood you're in. And I know you're probably not mad at her. You probably are just spacing out, whatever it is, right? But she's like kind of overthinking, right? A lot of ladies overthink. It's a little bit more common. We do see that women their anxiety is more obvious, right? And these are the signs of more obvious anxiety. But also, as we see by research, when women are more emotionally attached, they become more emotionally reactive towards their, you know, particular object of affection, love interest, whatever you want to call it, right? So, whatever your emotions are, it really affects her. Whatever you're doing, it's affecting her mood.

[00:02:11]It's affecting her emotion. She's more like attached to it. And that's one of the first signs and one of the most prominent signs that she's attracted to you, but not just attracted to you, that she loves you. Um actually unfortunately if this is declining in a marriage usually the marriage is in trouble. Me as a therapist I see this because women do this like throughout from the beginning of the attraction all the way to as long as she loves you. Right. Um the next one is that she repeats your behaviors right after you do this. This is much more fundamental to attraction.

[00:02:40]We see this a lot. Research 1998 research in 2006. Research in 2011, right? So much research. What are we seeing and what does it look like? Let's say you pick up your drink. A couple seconds later, she's going to pick up her drink. You are, let's say you're checking your phone. Couple seconds later, she's checking her phone. She's doing this because subconsciously, she's very tunnel vision on what you're doing.

[00:03:04]And so, if you get a little bit occupied, her mind disengages from the conversation momentarily to re-engage into what you're doing. Okay? So, for whatever reason, let's say you guys are talking, I don't know, maybe you're talking about your service in the military and you're just talking about some of the, you know, how you appreciate it, how it changed you as a man, maybe it was a little frustrating, whatever it may be. And you kind of learned these things. Maybe you can say, "My behavior changed. You know, I appreciate my country more." Whatever it is, X, Y, and Z, right? Maybe you could even tell some of the stories. I know a lot of you military folks, you broke a little bit of rules, right, in the beginning. Um, if you were enlisted, right? I know a lot of you guys did like some I don't know silly things. I heard some of you guys put like maybe a little bit of a special drink in your water, whatever it is. Like silly things. I've heard stories like that. Where I'm uh where I live right now, there's like two military bases. Um one 40 minutes north and then one like literally about 20 minutes, no probably 15 minutes from my house. So a lot of military bases. So I know a lot of you guys, so that's kind of my perspective. Could be wrong.

[00:04:06]Marine and Army is the one near my house. Um, but maybe you're telling your story and then you take a break from your story and you pick up your drink, right? And you just take a little sip of it, whatever it is. She instead of like talking over you or being distracted or whatever, she's very engaged into what you're saying and what you're doing. So, she picks up her drip drink soon afterwards. Maybe you take a break just to check your phone. She's probably waiting on you to finish your story. And so, she might check on her phone as well. That's how you know that type of attraction. She's extremely engaged in what you're doing so much that she's basically copying you. Not on purpose, but follow the leader type of thing.

[00:04:45]You're doing something, she does it after. You're doing another thing, she's doing it after. Okay. This is a huge sign of attraction, right? The next one is interesting. I have heard of this, but I didn't I don't I've I don't even know if I've seen it. You guys probably have cuz I'm a female, so I don't know.

[00:05:01]This is subconscious. I don't know if I've ever done this, but I guess I have.

[00:05:04]um based on the research, she will touch her neck like something like that and then her collar bone that this means she's attracted. I guess that's true. I don't know. But um apparently there was quite um there's two research that does show this, right?

[00:05:19]Some people might say like um she might touch her own shoulders. We saw that in one of these. Um but collar bone and neck was like a really common one. I'm not I don't know where that comes from.

[00:05:29]I'm guessing it comes from like nerves.

[00:05:32]Um, but there wasn't much uh detail about that. But that's kind of interesting. So, if you see that and you see other signs of this as well, likely this lady's attracted to you. I think that's very interesting because my thing is like maybe she's uh like touching those parts because they're like prominent. Like my collar bone is like sticks out a lot. So maybe it's like nerves or maybe it's like um neck because it's like she's trying to relax herself, calm herself down. That makes sense to me. I could be wrong. I'll look more into that cuz that one's kind of cool. Um, the next one is she keeps conversations going. Let's give that example. You're you know, you just you're you know, you were talking about your military service, okay? And then you're talking more about it and then maybe you took a break. You checked your phone and then maybe afterwards you didn't really have much else to say, but she keeps that conversation going. She asks you, "Oh, you know, how did it feel being in the reserves or whatever it is?" Or maybe she asks about your status now. What's your what is it called? E4.

[00:06:27]Or maybe you're an officer 01. I can't remember actually, but whatever those things are, clearly I've never been in the military, but something like that, she keeps that conversation going because she wants to hear your perspective and of course she wants to talk to you more. From a text message perspective, you'll see that like the conversation will go for like multiple days. Now, this is not going to happen necessarily if you're like in a long-term relationship. Usually, couples just don't do that as often. It's not as common of behavior, but it is really common in the beginning forms of the attraction. Even if you guys are like friends but attracted to each other and she's waiting for you to make the first move, she will keep conversations going in hopes that you will, you know, pick up that she likes you. The next one is she remembers details about you. Maybe you talked about something. Maybe you said something very specific like, "Oh yeah, you know, I bought this new car and it's already giving me problems. I had to bring it to the shop 6 months after I bought it." Maybe that's what you were saying. And maybe a year later, I don't know why this timeline is so strange, but I don't know, maybe a month later, you talk to her about it and then she's like, "Oh, by the way, you know, how was how's your car?" Right? And you're like, "Oh, I don't even remember if I told you that." Like, "Oh, I'm so surprised. Nobody's really asked me. I don't really tell much people about it.

[00:07:40]People don't remember. Yeah, my car is doing good." Or whatever it is, right?

[00:07:43]She will remember these things about you because the connection that you have with her or the connection she has with you is really significant to her. And so it's more prominent than other things that she remembers from other people. And the very last one is some ladies actually become more playful. A lot of research on this one, right? Um playful could even be like bantering, teasing you. Um it might be any sort of like playful touches, right? Um she might like tease you and pull on like an article of clothing or whatever it is, anything like that. And so you might see some of these behaviors much more common if a lady is attracted to you. The reason why this can be a little challenging is women, unlike men, are a little bit more discreet with their attraction, right?

[00:08:25]They're not going to outwardly um they're not going to outwardly say, "I'm attracted to you." Not all of them do.

[00:08:32]Some of them are a little bit more obvious or forthcoming, but a lot of ladies are just they're not as much.

[00:08:36]They expect you to make the first move.

[00:08:38]Um I think yeah, the research mentions only one, but I'm sure there's plenty.

[00:08:43]But the one I was looking at for men, sorry, for the first two seconds of an interaction, it's a little bit more obvious that a man is attracted to you.

[00:08:52]For ladies, it can take six seconds up to 60 seconds. So, of course, this is very dependent. But even for her, there's a lag time whether she even wants to feel attraction for you. It takes like a minute, whereas men, it's almost instantly. Um, it might even take longer than that. But what I'm saying is that's a typical scenario. Even if she's very very attracted to you, it's not going to even register or even make sense to her until after a minute.

[00:09:18]Whereas for a man, it's like in the first couple seconds. So, I hope this video is helpful to somebody. Please like, subscribe. I will see you in the next one.