Hazbin Hotel Gets ARRESTED in SCARY SHAWARMA KIOSK

Added: 2026-05-18

[00:00:00]I don't mean to alarm you or anything, but an actual grudge is at the schwarma kiosk window.

[00:00:08]>> You got your foot in the schwarma sauce, sir.

[00:00:10]>> Wait, what?

[00:00:11]>> But you can't arrest us for exercising our civic duty, >> Lucifer.

[00:00:16]>> HEY, >> I am back in my shawarma shop and I'm ready to touch my meat.

[00:00:26]>> Excuse me.

[00:00:27]>> Okay, fine. Since you asked so nicely, I will allow you to touch my meat as well, Alistister.

[00:00:33]>> No, no, I don't want to touch your meat.

[00:00:35]>> Ah, but it's hot. It's fresh and ready to be served to all our lovely patrons.

[00:00:41]Come on.

[00:00:41]>> What's wrong with you?

[00:00:44]>> What?

[00:00:45]>> I don't want no one steaming hot meat.

[00:00:49]>> Oh. Oh, yeah. We'll see about that.

[00:00:51]>> We'll see about that. Let me get it nice and steaming hot.

[00:00:54]>> We're ready. We've been here before.

[00:00:56]I'm a schwarma master. Let's get these customers in here.

[00:01:00]>> Lucifer's meat is ready to be served.

[00:01:03]>> Okay. Lucifer is hot, ready, and well, it's ready to eat. What did I say?

[00:01:09]>> Yeah, I like hot meat. Ready to eat.

[00:01:11]>> Yep. Lucifer.

[00:01:12]>> Oh, like schwarma meat. I get it. Good.

[00:01:16]>> That's good. Yeah. Lucifer advertising.

[00:01:18]Good.

[00:01:18]>> I like it. Everyone, we have Lucifer.

[00:01:21]It's ready to eat.

[00:01:23]>> It's so waggly today. Oh, it's grabbing me. It's like a nice wormhole of meat.

[00:01:28]>> What's happening? Why did that just grow?

[00:01:30]>> Oh, cuz I looked at my wobbly meat a little too hard.

[00:01:34]>> What do you mean?

[00:01:35]>> It It was wobbling left and right and it it hand reached out and started caressing my cheek.

[00:01:41]>> Excuse me.

[00:01:42]>> My wife's been gone for eight years.

[00:01:43]Alistister.

[00:01:45]>> So, your >> Any customers? Any customers? Anyone?

[00:01:51]>> Actually, seriously though, we have any customers today?

[00:01:55]My meat is hot. It's fresh.

[00:01:57]>> I guess I I've always told you, Lucifer, no one wants your shme. But >> somebody's got to want my shme.

[00:02:06]>> Maybe we need to make a jingle about it.

[00:02:09]>> Jingle. So what the actual is that?

[00:02:12]>> Finally, a customer.

[00:02:14]>> Absolutely not. He wants a schwar soda.

[00:02:19]>> I am not serving that thing.

[00:02:21]>> My dad's our only customer. Alistar, >> I don't care. I'm not. Ew. It's worse on the knife. His back is bending and twisting around like a [ __ ] gloop of Play-Doh. I don't like it. Ew.

[00:02:34]I don't like it.

[00:02:36]>> My wife used to make my back bend like that.

[00:02:38]>> Okay, that's great. Lucifer, I'm not serving him. No. Look at him.

[00:02:42]>> LOOK, HE'S WALKING AWAY SO SAD.

[00:02:44]ALISTISTER.

[00:02:45]>> GOOD. He should be sad for looking like that.

[00:02:47]>> Quit profiling him because he's disabled.

[00:02:49]>> Oh, okay. Okay. Well, here's someone who looks awfully a lot like you. He's just tall and nice white suit.

[00:02:56]>> That's better.

[00:02:56]>> Nothing bad has ever come of a guy in a white suit.

[00:02:59]>> Oh, nothing bad at all.

[00:03:01]>> Make it fast. No gr no onions.

[00:03:03]>> Okay. Hi. How are you, sir? How's your day? Would you like some hot shme? Yeah, you look at him. That's the face of a schmid lover right there.

[00:03:10]>> Yep.

[00:03:10]>> All right. I'm going to start with the lavage.

[00:03:12]>> You do that. I'm going to get a quick scan of Oh, he is uh ripping his face off and staring at the C.

[00:03:18]>> Wait, excuse me.

[00:03:20]>> You might not be ABLE to think we should >> That's a first. That's a first.

[00:03:27]>> Maybe we shouldn't serve him. You know, I never thought to actually check that.

[00:03:31]>> The other guy was just very obvious, but um >> I I was just looking to see, you know, the full suit and uh it got a little weird.

[00:03:38]>> You got the suit, didn't you?

[00:03:40]>> What? You wanted the suit, didn't you?

[00:03:43]>> Kind of. It's a nice suit.

[00:03:44]>> Is he gone?

[00:03:45]>> Real broad shoulder. Let's find out.

[00:03:50]>> Oh my god.

[00:03:51]>> All right. There's still no uh customer served.

[00:03:53]>> We haven't been able to serve a single person because >> finally a jogger. They got to be hungry.

[00:03:58]>> Two hungry.

[00:04:02]>> We don't have a good track record so far. Wait, that's a different person.

[00:04:05]That is a Wait, >> got it.

[00:04:07]>> Oh, no. It's a beanie. Never. I thought they had hair. Never mind. I think they're normal.

[00:04:12]>> All right. And it's protein day. They got to stack up. All right.

[00:04:15]>> Oh, yeah. All right.

[00:04:18]>> Get some of that.

[00:04:19]>> So, why is there some >> Why is there a man covered in on the window?

[00:04:26]>> Excuse me.

[00:04:27]>> There was a man covered in >> That's on the window.

[00:04:31]>> Yeah, that's Greg. He used to work here.

[00:04:33]>> Oh, why' we Why did we fire him? Where did he leave?

[00:04:36]>> Um, well, he was He was touching the meat inappropriately.

[00:04:42]>> Oh, customer log book.

[00:04:45]>> Interesting. Um, >> get to see all our favorite customers.

[00:04:48]>> Oh, wait. Anomalies two out of 51.

[00:04:51]Something's wrong. He moves like there's no bones in him. Oo. Okay. Yeah.

[00:04:55]Interesting.

[00:04:56]>> Your shora.

[00:04:56]>> There you go. Enjoy that protein. Get those gains.

[00:05:00]>> This is fun. So, now we have a log book that can show us all of the different um the people that come to our shora shop to get your hot meat. Oh, yeah. Get a go. Get them moving. Get them moving.

[00:05:10]Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it.

[00:05:11]Get it. Get it.

[00:05:12]>> Maybe you should be running on uh two schwarmas in your stomach.

[00:05:15]>> Look at the log book. The person who just bought it. Yeah, she's go She's big and sporty, but nothing weird. Her picture is like kind of scary.

[00:05:23]>> This teleported to this person on the way standing and looking at us like that.

[00:05:30]>> Yes.

[00:05:32]>> Stop moving in the street and trying to scare me. I >> actually think he's normal, which is the >> Oh, sir.

[00:05:44]>> Why was he doing all that?

[00:05:46]>> Seems a little unnecessary.

[00:05:48]>> He wanted to be a dancer and he was just using this job to pay his way through college.

[00:05:52]>> Oh, that makes sense. That It's like a summer job.

[00:05:56]>> Yeah, >> summer job. Sherving up some hot meat.

[00:05:59]Oh, someone's knocking at the door.

[00:06:02]>> Hello. Let me get you a nice brezie.

[00:06:06]>> Hello.

[00:06:07]>> Here's your shora and soda.

[00:06:09]>> Enjoy it.

[00:06:10]>> Thanks. I appreciate it.

[00:06:11]>> Okay.

[00:06:12]>> I swear I saw a guy just like you the other day. He was on a skateboard.

[00:06:17]>> No one.

[00:06:18]>> No one's here. Someone was knocking out the door, but I guess there was just nothing.

[00:06:21]>> Nothing. Oh, yeah. I see nothing right now.

[00:06:26]>> Oh my goodness.

[00:06:27]>> What?

[00:06:28]>> The trash people didn't come yesterday.

[00:06:30]They were supposed to pick up. Oh my god. You can't trust anyone to do anything.

[00:06:35]>> Hi, ma'am. One sharma, please. Let me just make sure I'm not a weirdo. One second.

[00:06:39]>> Hey, you can't just assume people are weirdos.

[00:06:42]>> Yes, my kids already ate, but I skipped.

[00:06:45]>> Okay. Click after today.

[00:06:46]>> Her kids. Oh, she she served her kids before she served herself. This is a good person right here. That's mother right there. You know, that's that's good. That's good.

[00:06:54]>> No, that's mother right there.

[00:06:55]Literally.

[00:06:57]>> Mommy, get the cannot grab the brain.

[00:07:02]Oh, >> this one's up to you, Alistister.

[00:07:04]>> Okay, I'm putting my special sauce on here for her.

[00:07:07]>> Good. Good.

[00:07:07]>> Cheese. Oh, I'm going to make this one really good. She deserves it.

[00:07:11]>> How's your day, man?

[00:07:12]>> Extra little extra cheese.

[00:07:15]>> Okay, this whole lot of meat. Can you go touch her again, please?

[00:07:19]>> Oh, I'm touching it.

[00:07:20]>> Get some good crispy bits off the edge.

[00:07:22]>> There you go.

[00:07:23]>> There you go.

[00:07:25]>> It's making me noises.

[00:07:26]>> At least I won't go to bed hungry.

[00:07:28]>> Of course. Yeah, we'd hate for you to go to bed hungry. So, you need to get some some shme in your Oh, no. Who's this?

[00:07:34]Oh, Lucifer. Um, >> hold on. I got schmat in my hands.

[00:07:38]>> We just um sir, where's your shoes?

[00:07:43]>> He wants a big one.

[00:07:45]>> Hello, sir. That would be 100.

[00:07:48]>> Yeah, about that. I don't have >> I don't like his voice.

[00:07:53]>> Yeah, he does sound like a child.

[00:07:54]>> I'm starving. I'll pay you next time.

[00:07:56]>> Oh, no. Now, he doesn't. Oh, I don't know. His his VOICE IS CHANGING.

[00:08:01]>> His voice is changing every two seconds.

[00:08:05]>> We can't start that.

[00:08:06]>> I'll remember you. You know what? I'm going to be really honest with you.

[00:08:11]>> I'm calling the police.

[00:08:12]>> We've had too many anomalies here today, Lucifer.

[00:08:15]>> That's right. It is a lot of anomalies.

[00:08:17]And not even the mommy anomalies, just anomalies.

[00:08:19]>> We had one mommy and many anomalies.

[00:08:22]>> Yeah.

[00:08:24]>> All right. Next customer. The police aren't doing anything for some reason. I don't know if they believe me that there's an issue at our shora stand.

[00:08:32]>> Oh, and Greg was under the table.

[00:08:35]>> So, wait, DON'T WE GET YOUR COUSIN?

[00:08:38]>> I THINK WE LIKE just give him a soda or something.

[00:08:41]>> Okay.

[00:08:43]>> Oh, hello.

[00:08:45]I >> think that was another game, but uh let me see if there's anything wrong with him. He has the same teeth as you, so I don't want to judge.

[00:08:50]>> Oh, yeah. Look, I got the bundle.

[00:08:54]>> I'm going to put it under the counter.

[00:08:56]Okay.

[00:08:57]>> Cuz last time we got the wet moving bundle, you opened it and then went to like the [ __ ] Twilight Zone. So >> Oh, sorry. That was a box.

[00:09:06]>> You did that, I believe.

[00:09:07]>> The police are here. The police are here.

[00:09:09]>> Did they responded?

[00:09:10]>> Good.

[00:09:12]>> Thank goodness. Do you want to deal with this murder? Me do.

[00:09:14]>> Sure. Hello, Mr. Boys and Blue.

[00:09:18]>> Emergency call from this location. Yes, there was. Uh, Alistister called. Yes.

[00:09:22]>> What up the emergency? Well, there has been some strange anomalies here. This one guy had no bones. Another one had teeth shooting out the side of his head.

[00:09:31]And another one had >> Wait, no.

[00:09:34]>> Nothing. Well, there's nothing here right now. But could you maybe just stay here with us for a little bit?

[00:09:39]>> Yeah. What if more homeless people come?

[00:09:41]>> No, it's not. No, it's not. No, >> I never know how to deal with them. Do I give them money? Do I not give them money?

[00:09:46]>> Oh my god.

[00:09:48]>> We don't have any of those cool like benches with the spikes on them. No.

[00:09:53]>> Consider this innocent.

[00:09:54]>> What?

[00:09:54]>> Yeah, it is. Well, it's not a misunderstanding. You're just not listening to me.

[00:09:57]>> Yeah, he really had no money.

[00:09:59]>> Jesus Christ. They're just as bad as the police in hell.

[00:10:02]>> Oh man.

[00:10:03]>> The call. Oh, he wants us to make him a What if we What if we don't make him one?

[00:10:09]>> Yeah. I'm going to make one and have it just sit right here so he has to look at it. But we're not going to give it to him cuz we didn't we don't give stuff to people who don't pay. That That's part of the homeless problem we're talking about. I didn't do a single thing wrong.

[00:10:23]And I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I did.

[00:10:27]>> Yeah.

[00:10:27]>> Yeah. You roll that.

[00:10:29]>> This form is for the next paying customer.

[00:10:32]>> Mhm.

[00:10:34]>> And if you have a problem with that, then you can um uh send your manager.

[00:10:40]>> Yeah. And then kiss my ass.

[00:10:42]>> And I think you can speak like that to a lawful officer.

[00:10:46]>> Want me to do it anyways? Kiss my ass.

[00:10:50]>> Here's your schwarma, sir. Um, he's he's I I need to give him the schwarma. I need to give him the schwarma. What if he gets upset?

[00:10:57]>> Says you forgot something. Oh, he supposed to give him a [ __ ] soda.

[00:11:01]>> Yeah, he wants a soda, too. You know what? Never mind. We can't give you a swarm and a >> No, I'm going to get your money on a swarm and go get a [ __ ] facelift for your [ __ ] up crooked eyebrows.

[00:11:13]>> What's your badge number, sir?

[00:11:14]>> We always answer calls from here. Yeah.

[00:11:17]Give him your badge. Give us your badge number.

[00:11:20]>> Yeah. Badge number.

[00:11:22]>> All right. He's car number 2611.

[00:11:25]What's his license plate say? Oh no. Oh no. Alistister. Alistister.

[00:11:31]>> Me.

[00:11:32]>> Oh my. Oh my. Not the cop block. That was crazy. Oh, Lucifer.

[00:11:41]Is he just Who's this? What is this?

[00:11:44]Lucifer, are you okay?

[00:11:47]>> Oh, you're fine. Okay.

[00:11:49]>> Hi, sir.

[00:11:52]>> I trust you with my happiness.

[00:11:53]>> I trust you with my happiness.

[00:11:57]>> Please doctor says I need more.

[00:12:00]>> My god, he's just like mega depressed and wants some. That's crazy.

[00:12:04]>> I don't even want to check this guy at six.

[00:12:07]>> He sounds above the board.

[00:12:10]>> Okay, I sir. Here, I get extra sauce for you just to make you extra happy like you should be.

[00:12:18]>> I'm glad you're prioritizing your mental health by sticking my meat in your mouth.

[00:12:22]>> More people should learn from you.

[00:12:24]>> I agree. It's really nice to stick Lucifer's meat in your mouth. It tastes really good. Sometimes you can chew on it and suck on it like a popsicle. Get all the flavors.

[00:12:33]>> Peel back all the layers, too.

[00:12:35]>> Maybe not. Get the happiness wrapped in lavish.

[00:12:40]>> Enjoy the meat. Enjoy Lucifer's meat.

[00:12:44]All right. And with that, I believe we're I just watched it go from 6:00 a.m.

[00:12:51]to 11 p.m.

[00:12:52]>> Wait, what happened?

[00:12:53]>> Wait, is it the next day? Does it just skip the whole awkward part that >> Oh, we don't have to go. That's nice.

[00:12:58]So, they >> cross the street and go to the bus just to come back every time you play this.

[00:13:02]>> I love they fixed that. Is that a child?

[00:13:04]>> Day two.

[00:13:05]>> Lucifer, be careful. You don't want to >> What?

[00:13:08]>> Just be careful with your words.

[00:13:10]>> What? I love children.

[00:13:11]>> It's not a child. It's not a child. Good thing Adam's not here cuz that's a little person.

[00:13:16]>> Oh no, he sounds like a little person.

[00:13:19]>> Long day.

[00:13:22]>> Long day. Is that a joke about his arm length? What's going on here?

[00:13:26]>> I know.

[00:13:27]>> People stare out.

[00:13:29]>> Hard not to when you look this good.

[00:13:31]>> Ah, that's what it's all about.

[00:13:33]>> I get it.

[00:13:34]>> I get it, King.

[00:13:36]>> I didn't think about that. You're also short, so you probably Yeah, you really feel this. Hey, I'll make him this one.

[00:13:41]Unless you realize one short person to another.

[00:13:44]>> He has got drip, I tell you. What was it?

[00:13:46]>> Okay. I said unless you want to make this one short person to another.

[00:13:49]>> Oh, no. No. We We need the We need the big people to serve us sometimes.

[00:13:53]>> Oh, okay. It would be >> Yeah. reparations for what you've done to our kind. You know, >> what do you mean? What have I done to your kind? I'm not at all.

[00:14:00]>> Oh, you know. You know.

[00:14:02]>> I think I Oh, did you want a soda, too?

[00:14:04]>> They don't teach that in the history books anymore. Alistister, >> don't shake that. You might fly away.

[00:14:08]Thanks.

[00:14:12]>> People tend to get nervous around this kind of beauty.

[00:14:14]>> That's right. That's what I'm always telling him.

[00:14:16]>> Happens all the time.

[00:14:18]>> Those uh blind people glasses on.

[00:14:22]>> He might actually be blind.

[00:14:25]>> It's probably for the best.

[00:14:26]>> Yeah. Another customer.

[00:14:28]>> Is that a hooker?

[00:14:31]>> If she's paying one, it's Well, >> I'm going to guess no.

[00:14:36]>> Oh, no. It's not. It's one of the ELVES FROM OH MY [ __ ] GOD. EW. SHE JUST HAD A [ __ ] What happened?

[00:14:44]>> I'm calling the police again.

[00:14:46]>> She just has some loose skin.

[00:14:48]>> Not everyone's going to get it surgically fixed every time.

[00:14:52]>> Okay. Hey, I'm opening the door.

[00:14:55]>> Hey, how you doing? Um, did you Hey, hey, no. No, don't leave. Don't leave.

[00:15:00]>> No, Lucifer. Don't believe me again.

[00:15:03]>> Hold on. I'll I'll go I'll go get her.

[00:15:05]>> Yeah, go chase her down. Hey, Greg. You should >> Hi, police. Um, there was a woman here that looks like Tilda Swinton and she just lifted her she like face lifted cut her face off and then like scratched underneath her face and then there was like a skeleton.

[00:15:20]>> I just don't I just I just Oh, okay.

[00:15:22]They hung up. Ew.

[00:15:24]>> Okay. Is this the Terminator?

[00:15:27]>> Okay. Um, >> the Terminate is on the >> I don't know. I can't tell. It looks a little weird. I think it's fine though.

[00:15:36]Oh my god. I can't. The police are going to show up and be mad at us again.

[00:15:40]They're not going to believe us. I swear there was a girl saying that this guy is the creep.

[00:15:46]>> Don't we have security camera footage?

[00:15:47]Why can't we just show that to the police officers?

[00:15:49]>> It's it's not a recording. It's just a live feed. Unfortunately, >> you got you got to pay a subscription service to have it actually record it.

[00:15:57]And this business can't afford that without more customers.

[00:16:00]>> Hot and ready.

[00:16:00]>> Hot and ready for you, baby. Don't worry, this is [ __ ] garbage.

[00:16:05]>> Thank you, Alistister.

[00:16:07]>> Of course.

[00:16:07]>> Make sure to get the juicy bits.

[00:16:09]>> Oh, I got all the bits. All the nooks and crannies.

[00:16:12]>> Good.

[00:16:15]What's that car doing?

[00:16:15]>> Oh, it's the police again.

[00:16:17]>> It's the same vehicle.

[00:16:20]>> Oh, man. Two keys and backing up.

[00:16:24]>> 2611. It's the same guy.

[00:16:26]>> Yeah. Hey, >> he called from this location.

[00:16:29]>> Okay, listen.

[00:16:30]>> Yes. Yes, I called again.

[00:16:32]>> It was a little extra angry this time.

[00:16:34]>> You already called us at the point.

[00:16:35]>> Yes, but there was It was Tilda Swinton.

[00:16:37]>> Straight to the point.

[00:16:38]>> Either Tilda Swinton or Miley when everyone thought she was getting on drugs, but she was actually just kind of trying to find herself. Her face ripped off.

[00:16:46]>> I am not making you a [ __ ] You don't believe me.

[00:16:50]>> You tell him. Yeah, >> we can't just keep feeding the needy.

[00:16:54]>> Use the emergency line.

[00:16:55]>> Wait, what?

[00:16:57]>> You're fine. 3,000. Three. He just took $3,000 from me.

[00:17:02]>> No.

[00:17:05]Hey, uh, Greg, what's up? Uh, you're not supposed to be in here touching my meat anymore. You >> Oh, yeah. He's really He really touching it.

[00:17:13]>> You You can stop now.

[00:17:14]>> He's all over your meat.

[00:17:17]>> Oh, man.

[00:17:20]>> What the hell? Okay, that's Brienne of Tarth.

[00:17:24]>> I just finished.

[00:17:24]>> Hey, what's wrong with her eyeballs?

[00:17:26]She's screaming. is a very good >> nothing wrong with a little gooning when my meat is in the picture.

[00:17:33]>> I don't want to deal with that.

[00:17:35]Absolutely not.

[00:17:37]>> Oh, she might be fine.

[00:17:39]>> I don't think so.

[00:17:41]>> I mean, not like fine fine, but fine.

[00:17:44]>> I'm doing it.

[00:17:46]What are you doing? You can't just call the police every time there's a person of Oh gosh.

[00:17:52]>> 911. What's your emergency?

[00:17:56]She's gooning at the window.

[00:18:00]Help me.

[00:18:02]Help me.

[00:18:02]>> Hey. Um.

[00:18:04]>> Oh my goodness. That jawline.

[00:18:05]>> Would you like some?

[00:18:06]>> Holy [ __ ] >> Coffee.

[00:18:08]>> Damn. Lucifer.

[00:18:09]>> Coffee. We don't got coffee. We got coffee.

[00:18:11]>> I think we do actually have coffee.

[00:18:13]>> Oh yeah. I have a coffee maker right here. I've seen 100 times. Okay, great.

[00:18:16]>> That's good.

[00:18:19]>> Start with this normal person right now.

[00:18:24]>> I didn't even know we could do that.

[00:18:27]Nobody orders the coffee here in the middle of the night, you know.

[00:18:30]>> Yeah, it's really weird.

[00:18:31]>> There's the big caffeine scare. Everyone thinks it's going to ruin their sleep cycles if they drink caffeine past like 5 or whatever. You know, I think there's nothing like a good What time is it?

[00:18:41]2:33 a.m. Coffee. You got the right.

[00:18:43]>> I agree. Has to taste great. All right, >> there we go. Some coffee right there for you, sir.

[00:18:50]>> I will say coffee with a schwarma is a little strange to me, but >> a little Oh, he wakes up at 5.

[00:18:56]>> Matters.

[00:18:57]>> It's 2:33.

[00:18:58]>> You're not going to get much sleep, but good luck.

[00:19:02]>> You woke up 3 hours early.

[00:19:06]>> Or or he just needs a quick 2 hours of beauty sleep and he's just having >> maybe. I don't know. He woke up 3 hours early just to tell us about how consistent he's been about waking up at 5.

[00:19:15]>> Yeah, it doesn't seem very consistent if you say it like that.

[00:19:20]>> The police going to come?

[00:19:22]>> I don't know. I'm going to call him to let them know that they uh don't need to come anymore cuz the person's gone.

[00:19:26]>> Yeah, that's probably not a bad idea.

[00:19:29]>> All right. Any customers want to show up?

[00:19:33]No one wants to come touch your meat anymore. Lucifer moving really slowly.

[00:19:37]>> Hey, um this is >> Oh, no. Is Lucifer the king of hell? Um we don't need the police to come anymore. Um they we're good.

[00:19:47]>> Thank you. I just don't want to like inconvenience anyone. So, if you could just not send that officer, that would be great. You have a wonderful day.

[00:19:55]>> Wait, his patience is running out.

[00:19:56]Lucifer, >> this is your third call.

[00:19:58]>> Yeah, this is my third call.

[00:20:01]>> I'm not giving you anything. [ __ ] you.

[00:20:03]>> You have a job to do. Hold the peace and whatever.

[00:20:07]>> He's pissing me off. Lucifer, >> you misused the emergency line.

[00:20:11]>> Uhhuh.

[00:20:12]>> You are fine. 2000.

[00:20:13]>> What?

[00:20:14]>> No, he took my money that time.

[00:20:15]>> Next time >> they took my money as a No. Stop. Stop. It's raining.

[00:20:23]>> Yeah.

[00:20:24]>> Hope you get wet.

[00:20:26]>> Yeah, you get real wet for stopping. I say >> took Alistister.

[00:20:36]>> Wow.

[00:20:37]>> I don't mean I don't mean to alarm you or anything, but I'm actual like the [ __ ] grudge is at the Sharma kiosk window.

[00:20:45]>> Oo. Oh, she's in. It's like the actual grunch.

[00:20:50]>> Hello, beautiful. Would you like >> just want a soda?

[00:20:58]>> I don't know if you know what Let's just serve her. She seems fine.

[00:21:01]>> Why wouldn't we?

[00:21:04]>> Wait, is there anything like >> We can check the security just in case.

[00:21:09]>> I actually think she's fine.

[00:21:11]>> Yeah, she is.

[00:21:12]>> She doesn't seem like anything different than what we see in hell usually. So, >> no.

[00:21:17]>> Really? Not too bad.

[00:21:18]>> What ring are you from? Miss.

[00:21:21]>> Is she okay? She's kind of like pulsating. Also, she's going to get struck by lightning.

[00:21:26]>> Yeah, here. I'm just going to check out the cameras. You go ahead and serve her.

[00:21:30]>> She looks fine to me, though.

[00:21:31]>> I don't know. I guess she's fine. I just I don't know if anyone's going to be coming to our schwarma stand anymore because it's literally like a thunderstorm outside. It is warm.

[00:21:42]>> Yeah, it is. You remember this place?

[00:21:44]Good. Excellent.

[00:21:46]>> It is warm. I will remember this.

[00:21:49]>> Okay. This didn't grow, right?

[00:21:51]>> No, it didn't grow at all. She was legit.

[00:21:54]>> See, Alistair, that's why you can't profile people just cuz they're different.

[00:21:58]>> She was literally a >> She was pretty cool, wasn't she?

[00:22:03]>> Oh, she was a ghoul.

[00:22:05]>> You guys should have asked for her number.

[00:22:07]>> Maybe. You guys are pretty into each other.

[00:22:10]>> Two hours later.

[00:22:12]>> Uh, yes. Our emergency is my friend stepping outside and there's a dangerous lightning storm here. I think he's going to get struck cuz he has antlers.

[00:22:19]They're like lightning rods. Plus, um, be very safe. This storm could hit you guys. I just don't want to get in trouble with that police officer again.

[00:22:27]So, I just tell him I have a wonderful day, but please do not come here and ask for a free shawarma cuz we will not be giving it to him. Thank you.

[00:22:33]>> Exactly. Exactly.

[00:22:35]>> Alistister, you're getting all wet.

[00:22:40]>> What the [ __ ] is that? Cre is that you schwarma now?

[00:22:46]>> Oh my god. Okay. Well, I have a feeling >> Let me turn the lights back on and maybe we can make you a schwarma. Sir, >> I have a feeling this is an anomaly.

[00:22:54]Lucifer.

[00:22:57]>> Okay, you go ahead and, you know, fact check that. But >> baby, that's Drax from the Guardians of the Galaxy.

[00:23:03]>> Oh, Dave Batista, I love your work.

[00:23:05]>> You know what? Let's just give him a goddamn char.

[00:23:08]>> How's the cutting been going? So, you've been losing a lot of weight lately. You called the police, right? So, they should be here. Maybe we'll >> Yeah, this will be perfect. Roll the swarm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:23:19]>> There you go, sir.

[00:23:22]>> Maybe he was an anomaly.

[00:23:24]>> This is all >> Yeah.

[00:23:26]>> Well, he was definitely an anomaly, Lucifer.

[00:23:30]>> Oh, wait. But if the police come from this way, they'll definitely see the big >> He like looks like an anomaly. Police profile people all the time.

[00:23:37]>> Exactly. That's their favorite thing to do. That's your favorite pastime is profiling.

[00:23:41]>> Some of them. Some of them. Yes.

[00:23:43]Probably this guy.

[00:23:46]>> All right. Mr. Police Officer. He's right there.

[00:23:49]>> We can only assume this officer is one of the bad ones.

[00:23:52]>> See him walking down the street. Oh, no.

[00:23:54]Wait. Lucifer, he disappeared.

[00:23:56]>> You think You think the cops got him?

[00:23:59]>> Oh, no. I don't. Well, here comes the cops right here. Maybe they got him.

[00:24:02]Maybe they got him. Okay, this is perfect. We can ask him about it.

[00:24:06]>> Okay.

[00:24:11]Mr. 2611.

[00:24:13]>> Hi, welcome back.

[00:24:14]>> Welcome back again.

[00:24:15]>> Emergency call from this location.

[00:24:17]>> Yes, I called saying not to come here.

[00:24:19]So, it's a little weird that you showed up. However, >> No, I'm not pushing this too far. There was a Shrek looking Guardians of the Galaxy Draxswearing mother. Hey, >> you didn't even ask for a schwarma that time.

[00:24:32]>> No, you just left. Okay, I'm going to call them and tell them that they pissed me off.

[00:24:38]>> Yeah, complain. Yeah, I asked to see their manager. That'll get them.

[00:24:42]>> Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep.

[00:24:45]Okay, it's ringing. It's ringing.

[00:24:47]>> Okay, >> we got another customer on the way. So, >> okay, perfect.

[00:24:53]911. What's your name?

[00:24:55]>> Hi. You guys just sent an officer here and I just wanted to let you know that he pissed me the hell off and was very rude and told me that it was my last warning. So, I just wanted >> 2611. Alistister.

[00:25:06]>> Yeah. 2611 was the car number. I won't ask for a manager. I don't like Greg.

[00:25:11]He's pissing me off. Okay. Thank you. Oh my god. Is this punching you? Jesus Christ. Careful with those flying.

[00:25:19]>> Oh my god.

[00:25:21]>> All right. Hey, we just got to, you know, check security real quick.

[00:25:23]>> Actually, he's fine. He's just punching through the wall.

[00:25:26]>> Well, I know.

[00:25:29]>> Wouldn't mind the police officer seeing some of this, but he's okay.

[00:25:34]>> He's kicking it out.

[00:25:35]>> You're making a really You got your foot in the schwarma sauce, sir.

[00:25:38]>> Seriously, >> we got to serve that to other people.

[00:25:41]>> Oh my god. You got a saucy foot >> here. Just take it. Keep your toes out of my special sauce.

[00:25:48]>> Yeah. Keep your feet off Lucifer.

[00:25:51]Yeah. Well, >> oh my god. Damn.

[00:25:54]>> Dodged you, [ __ ] >> Jesus Christ.

[00:25:59]>> That guy.

[00:26:00]>> Oh, no. Wait. Send him. This is awkward.

[00:26:03]>> Oh, yeah. We actually called someone else.

[00:26:06]>> Hey, we wanted your manager to be here.

[00:26:08]>> Your manager. We didn't want the voyager to come.

[00:26:12]>> What do you mean?

[00:26:14]>> You are under arrest.

[00:26:14]>> Wait, what?

[00:26:15]>> But you can't arrest us for exercising our civic duty, >> Lucifer.

[00:26:20]Hey, >> wait. Only you got arrested.

[00:26:23]>> WAIT, I'M IN JAIL. You're >> Lucifer.

[00:26:27]>> You got arrested, >> sir. I can't be in here. I have a I have a kingdom to run. I have a schwarma empire to wait. Police report.

[00:26:38]Repeatedly false emergency calls.

[00:26:40]Responding officers report no evidence of threats or anomalies upon arrival at the scene in multiple occasions. Suspect taken into custody without incident.

[00:26:48]charge misuse of emergency services. 15 days detention.

[00:26:53]>> Wow.

[00:26:57]>> So, are you just >> I can't I can continue my shift for 10,000 buckaroos or I can go back to the lobby.

[00:27:05]>> It's hard to run Lucifer Schmeat shack when Lucifer is not here to have his in the shack.

[00:27:11]>> Oh, my schme stuck between jail bars for 15 days, Alistister.

[00:27:17]Oh my god.