My World Got Smaller After Losing My Husband

Ajouté : 2026-05-12

[00:00:00]feel that my world has sort of maybe got a little smaller and I think that's a big change that the I guess the sparkle has gone from the cooking safety I don't quite feel the same going down into the walking trails whereas you take for granted when you're a couple now it becomes when you're on your own it's kind of a bigger problem you have to solve And I do miss sort of going away for those weekends. Um, so I recently read a great comment from one of our viewers, Chili Pepper, and she asked, she said, "Tina, it would be really good if you could just talk about the different things now that I'm single from being a couple." and she asked kind of what were the changes that I'm experiencing.

[00:01:06]And I read that and I thought, "Wow, that's great. I can do that." So, I got all excited because, as you know, I've been practicing filming. So, I was going to go outside in the sunshine, do new filming for you, and lo and behold, it started to rain. So, here I am back in the studio because it's raining outside, but we are going to talk about the different changes.

[00:01:37]I think one of the biggest things is cooking.

[00:01:42]Cooking was more than an event when I did it with Norm. Um, everything about it. Norm was really the chef in the kitchen and I was kind of his assistant.

[00:01:56]I would help get things ready, but it was it was an experience that we did together. We'd have a drink before we got all the ingredients out. Then he'd sort of have a plan together how that he was going to cook the meal. We'd put music on and it it took us like an hour getting ready. It was all part of the thing. And Norm had such a big enjoyment about cooking, about what it felt. It wasn't just food to him to eat. That is one of the biggest changes. Um it's not the same when cooking now is just for yourself.

[00:02:38]It's the kitchen is quiet. There was an energy there when we cooked a meal together. It was I think that was it something that we did together. but cooking norm Zelda. So now it's really quiet in the kitchen and you know I I'll maybe do a frozen meal or leftovers if I've visited my son and it's just different the I guess the sparkle has gone from the cooking.

[00:03:11]Another big aspect of our life and was walking. This was something that was second nature to the two of us. Um we'd say, "Let's go for a walk and out we'd go." It didn't really matter about the weather. Um cuz there was the two of us.

[00:03:29]Um not only were we then getting exercise, there was the conversation that we would just we'd talk about all sorts of things about what we'd done, about what we were going to do, um whether we were going to have plans. Um, but I think one of the big things was I didn't have to think about safety. The things like that you just didn't think about when you were walking with somebody. And now because I'm on my own safety, I don't quite feel the same going down into the walking trails, whereas I would never have worried about that before because Norm was there. And also now conversation is somewhat limited when there's nobody chatting back to you. So you don't have quite that same thing when you're talking to yourself walking along. Um so the walks are shorter.

[00:04:25]One of the things that hasn't changed and that is swimming.

[00:04:30]Um, as you know, I love swimming and it is actually something that um, I tried to do every day and that really hasn't changed because I used to do that when Norm was here. So, I still go now. And I don't know if you all know, but Norm really was not a swimmer at all. In fact, every time I would say to him, "Norm, you're going to come swimming with me?" He would say, "Tin, if I could come with you, go swimming as long as I don't get wet." And that was the end of that conversation. So, you could guess he stayed in the apartment and I went swimming. But that is one thing that I still love. I go swimming, go in the hot tub and the sauna. So, that has something that stayed the same and is great for me. I think one of the other things is that um Norm and I used to get a lot of pleasure about sitting on the sofa together and discussing what should we watch on the TV tonight. We'd chat about whether we wanted to watch a movie or a show or we would have different ideas on what would be fun. And you know, you end up, it's more of an experience, somebody to chat to and you could end up cuddling on the on the sofa or we might have coffee and dessert together. And so it was more like a sort of going out experience but in your own home. And whereas now sort of watching the TV, I still do that, but it's a different experience. It's now just me picking the shows that I'm going to watch. There isn't that same togetherness that we used to have. And sometimes I look over into the chair where often Norm sat and never really thought of it. Sometimes that it was his chair, but kind of now it's an empty chair. And I think some of the things that you do notice are things that were just everyday simple things that I guess you take for granted when you're a couple. For example, um we had a power cut last week and normally this wouldn't be a big thing, but what happened was the power went off, the TV went off.

[00:07:08]That was something that when he was here, he would just do it like straight.

[00:07:13]He just wouldn't think anything of it.

[00:07:15]He would do it. Now it becomes when you're on your own, it's kind of a bigger problem you have to solve. And it did take I had to have my son come over to get Norm's computer stuff back together and show me what I had to do.

[00:07:32]And another big thing where there's a big change and that has to be driving.

[00:07:39]Um Norm drove for a living. So we'd drive two or three hours to go visit a place. We'd have our weekends away going to Niagara Falls. And he would think nothing of that. Um, even driving on like the busy roads like the 401 or the 403 getting to places that didn't flinch Norm at all cuz he was comfortable with it and he was happy doing it and I loved going with him. So I that is one of the big changes. I don't quite feel the same. I don't really like driving at night and I do miss sort of going away for those weekends. Um feel that my world has sort of maybe got a little smaller in some of the things where I don't feel quite as confident as took it for granted when Norm was here.

[00:08:41]I think the final thing that I'm going to share with you all is probably travel. This is something that Norm and I loved doing. The preparation for the trips when we were going to be traveling somewhere. We would be talking about what we were going to take somewhere. We would plan it out and we'd have an idea of the different things we were going to do. And I think that's a big change that there's not that person to have that conversation with saying, "Do we need to take that? Do we need to take this?" So, and it's important to me at the moment because as you know, I'm going to be going on my trip to Alaska. So, I'm trying to do all this now on my own preparing to make sure I've got all the things to take. And I'll get there, but it is different when you don't have that person. So, I would like to thank Chili Pepper for asking the question and I hope that I have answered and if anybody else um has a question, please please put it and I will see if I can answer it. Obviously, my life has changed just like it's changed for everybody out there who has also had a loss whether it's we all are experiencing that change but I am determined to put one step forward at a time and I am moving forward and there is excitement in my life and I am excited to be going to Alaska and trying to find the good things. And it's all I think about. It's all part of moving forward. And I'm hoping that it will help other people too.