Everything Girl’s Are Too Embarrassed To Talk About: Low Libido, Orgasms, Body Odor + S*X!!

Added: 2026-05-30

[00:00:02]Yay! Media Group.

[00:00:13]>> What's up? And welcome back to Spill the Beans podcast.

[00:00:16]>> We're the girls.

[00:00:17]>> It's summer, baby. School's out, sun's out, >> fun's out.

[00:00:21]>> Exactly.

[00:00:23]>> Just kidding. It doesn't feel like summer today or these past few days, it's felt like >> like spring.

[00:00:28]>> Exactly. Yeah, it's been super rainy and cloudy and we're sick. All the vibes are not there yet, but school's out and I feel like you just get the summer vibe, you know, even though summer doesn't start till January 21st or whatever or June.

[00:00:41]>> Oh, baby.

[00:00:43]>> Well, I'm going back in time.

[00:00:45]>> And we don't have kids for like like at school >> in school.

[00:00:48]>> Not yet.

[00:00:51]>> We don't have to talk about that.

[00:00:52]>> We can talk about that in August.

[00:00:54]>> Literally, I'm too scared right now. But yeah, guys, I hope you guys had a good week. Happy Friday. I feel like since it's summer on Friday, even though you still work and do all the, you know, adult things, when it's Friday, you're like, "Wait, thank God. We're outside."

[00:01:09]>> Mhm.

[00:01:10]>> Yeah. I think Saturdays have been when Lu works, I'm like, "Thank even if he works, I'm like, "Thank God it's Saturday." Even >> if I have nothing planned. I feel like I think last week, I don't remember what I did on Saturday, but I feel like in my head, this is what happened. I was like, "It's Saturday. I'm going to get cute.

[00:01:25]I'm going to get ready." And we still did the same things we do like on a day-to-day basis.

[00:01:34]Exactly.

[00:01:38]>> Exactly. Um but we're going to give you guys a quick OOTD. No brought this to our attention. Like sometimes you guys ask where our outfits are from. So let's start with you because I feel like your outfit is just giving today. I love it.

[00:01:50]>> Thank you. I am Pescohiko today.

[00:01:54]Um, my top and my pants are from H&M. My shoes are from Target.

[00:01:59]>> And your glasses? I feel like you always get complimentary glasses.

[00:02:02]>> My glasses are from Alisa Alisa Johnson Co. on Instagram.

[00:02:06]>> Cute. I love them.

[00:02:07]>> Thank you.

[00:02:07]>> Your frames are always cute. And uh, earrings.

[00:02:10]>> My earrings are very old. Probably from H&M or >> is honestly really good to get your earrings from.

[00:02:16]>> Um, where did I get my earrings from?

[00:02:18]>> I got these from Nordstrom Rack.

[00:02:20]>> Oh, those are gorge. Yeah, I get I buy new chunky earrings at least like once a month and then that's what I wear for the whole month.

[00:02:27]>> I don't switch it up anymore.

[00:02:28]>> But the two-toned so I >> um this shirt we got at Marshalls. It's from Abberrombi.

[00:02:36]>> 10 out of 10. Was it Marshalls or TJ Maxx? Marshalls, right?

[00:02:39]>> Marshalls. Mhm.

[00:02:40]>> And then my jeans are Gap horseshoe jeans and my shoes are Amazon. These are from No. I literally copy her. I'm like, send me the link, girl. I should have worn those so we could match.

[00:02:51]>> I know. These are They're my like daily shoe. That's what I wear every single day.

[00:02:56]>> Me, too. I bought these because I'm like, "Yeah, I'm wearing them in every single outfit." But it actually just takes it there. Like it takes it to the next level.

[00:03:04]>> I feel like it gives cool vibes. Cool mom, you know? Exactly. I absolutely love them. Me, too.

[00:03:09]>> And my rings. I've gotten questions on my ring stack and I'm very um I wouldn't say embarrassed, but I just want to say that >> they're tow rings from Zara. Remember when I bought them in Vegas?

[00:03:21]>> I never put them on my toes, but they look so cute. I think a little midfinger ring is such a vibe.

[00:03:27]>> They're just so cute. And then this ring right here is actually an earcuff from Lovisa, but it falls. So, I just wear it on my finger and it's perfect. And then these are from Louis Visa, too. They're the what are they called? the dupes for um say >> they're dupes for some kind of brand.

[00:03:43]Obviously, I don't even know the name because she's too out of my uh price range. Out of my price range budget.

[00:03:50]>> Exactly. But they're so cute. They're like little fidgety rings. And that's our OOTD.

[00:03:55]>> And that's it.

[00:03:56]>> Cute. Love it. Um today we're actually going to talk about things that we're too embarrassed to ask. And I would say not us cuz I feel like we're very open.

[00:04:04]and we're like, "Hey, how do you deal with this with that?" Uh, but I feel like as a mom and as a girl, sometimes you get a little bit embarrassed to ask your mom or your best friend or your sister things.

[00:04:14]>> And we just wanted to be that for you today. Just anonymous questions that you're too embarrassed to ask.

[00:04:20]>> And for example, exactly.

[00:04:25]>> Yeah.

[00:04:26]>> You know what? This is kind of TMI.

[00:04:28]>> Here we go.

[00:04:29]But when I before I had kids, I remember I could go like a day or two without showering.

[00:04:36]>> Really?

[00:04:36]>> Yeah. And I would just like I didn't feel disgusting. I didn't feel gross. I felt like I was still fine. Most likely because I didn't do shites before I had kids. Like I literally sometimes I would go to the gym, but I would be home all day basically >> and I could go at least 2 days without showering. That sound like you.

[00:04:54]>> I know. Now that I think about them, like you're disgusting. Wait, but do you not get like bo?

[00:04:59]>> I I didn't struggle with bo. Well, I didn't struggle with um underarm bo until I had kids. That's when I started getting real smelly. Girl, but before that I didn't.

[00:05:10]>> What?

[00:05:10]>> And right now that's the only thing I struggle with is my underarm squishy.

[00:05:14]>> What's it like?

[00:05:14]>> She using clinical deodorant.

[00:05:17]>> Dang. Well, I guess we're getting TMI too cuz I've shower like I think we've talked about this before. I shower. I try to shower at night just because I >> I've recently like when I was younger, I would just go to sleep in my outside clothes. I would just go to sleep in my like I'm so disgusting. I used to work at this like this place called Cafe. I used to work in the one in Gley. It's kind of like a cudoba vibe.

[00:05:38]>> That place smells like >> like the food like it's just so penetrating. And I used to just go get home from work like when I was in high school and in my work clothes I just fall asleep in my bed. I'm like ew. And now I'm like so funny >> cuz you know I'm mature now. Um but >> back to what I was saying now I try to shower like at night like usually like a quick rinse just like to rinse off the day >> and then I shower in the morning too if I can.

[00:06:03]>> Yeah >> because I have bad bo like I know you were asking me the other day. You're like really you feel like you have to shower. I'm like I've always just had like I'm sure it's like hormonal or something. I could probably take some >> ask the doctor about that one or whatever. But I've always just like I could smell my armpits by the end of the day all the time. Okay.

[00:06:20]>> Yeah. I think that I shower every single night, but I'm not in the morning. I'm not a morning shower.

[00:06:26]>> Yeah. And you've never smelled like I've never not known. If you didn't tell me If you didn't tell me you were a night shower, like if I didn't know that, I would have just thought like you were fresh in the morning. Like you've never Yeah.

[00:06:36]>> Wow. That is such a compliment, honestly.

[00:06:38]>> Yeah. You don't smell, girl. Thanks. I appreciate that. You know, actually, even I had asked Jonathan too. I had to.

[00:06:44]I was like, "Do I stink?" Because I feel like now that I deal with a lot of underarm bio, which I have under control with my clinical deodorant, um I've I've asked him like, "Does my breath smell?

[00:06:55]Do I smell like you know?" And he's like, "I've genuinely never smelled a bad smell coming from you." I'm like, >> literally.

[00:07:02]>> That's my only talent now, I guess.

[00:07:04]>> Yeah. And sometimes you tell me like, "Oh, I haven't washed my hair in however many days." I'm like, "That's insane."

[00:07:09]Like, >> I don't I just You're just God's favorite.

[00:07:12]>> No, baby. I think I just found the right products >> cuz a lot of people ask me about my hair. They're like, "What do you mean you sh you wash your hair once a week?"

[00:07:20]And I always get scared saying that cuz I know I'm going to get [ __ ] for it. Um, but genuinely like one because I hate washing my hair. And two, because I feel like I've just found the right products, you know?

[00:07:30]>> Yeah. No, but I don't think that's crazy. I used to not wash my hair. I used to wash my hair like once a week, too. I've upped it.

[00:07:37]>> I don't know why. I like I don't know why I've upped it, but I upped it just because the vibes, you know.

[00:07:43]>> Yeah. Period. And what? And also during summer I think you have to cuz you sweat more, you go to the pool, you know the vibes.

[00:07:49]>> But yeah, during winter, baby, >> I don't shave and I don't wash my hair about once a week.

[00:07:54]>> Yeah. And you don't have to and don't do it.

[00:07:57]>> Yeah. Exactly. Don't be putting that stress on you, girl. I I just think about it like before I remember every time I showered, I had to wash my hair.

[00:08:05]>> Like why were you doing that to yourself? And I also felt like it was more greasy. It was like prone to >> more, I don't know, dirty looks. I feel like my hair used to look dirty when it was dirty. And I feel like now I got that under control, you know?

[00:08:18]>> Does your mom wash her hair every day?

[00:08:20]>> Every day.

[00:08:20]>> So does mine. And I think that's >> blows it out every day.

[00:08:22]>> She does a blowout every day.

[00:08:24]>> Yeah. My mom hair dries it. Like unless it's a an important event or something or she's going.

[00:08:29]>> My mom, she My mom is like high maintenance.

[00:08:33]>> Really? My mom >> genuinely like >> she is the clean girl aesthetic. She always smells good. She her breath has never stained. She's always drinking tea, kombucha. Um her hair is always done. Her nails are grown out. Her nails are always done. Her toes are always done. Like she's always got a fresh new outfit on, ironed and everything. Like she is that girl.

[00:08:55]>> Wow.

[00:08:56]>> Mhm.

[00:08:56]>> She >> and she's always been like that.

[00:08:58]>> Really?

[00:08:58]>> Yeah. Her whole life. you when she was working freaking crazy hours and like every day.

[00:09:04]>> I want to be like her.

[00:09:05]>> Me, too. I'm like, >> now I see why you're like that. My mom is like that kind of, but but no, like, okay, my mom is she wants to look good all the time. Like my mom does like she puts her out, she knows how to put an outfit together. She looks good all the time, but she's like lazy in the way that like she wants her hair to look good, but she doesn't want to style it.

[00:09:26]Like she wants it to air dry to like styled already. And she does like even like when she goes to Misan and stuff, that's when she like gets ready, you know, the house down boots, like does her glam, her hair and everything. But like daytoday like I didn't grow up with her wearing makeup every day and that to me was normal. But then I see other people wearing makeup every day and I'm like, "Oh, like this is like you don't just wear makeup to go out." Like that's how I I grew up kind of, you know?

[00:09:49]>> Exactly.

[00:09:50]>> And she doesn't That's what I'm telling you. She likes to look good. Like she likes to have her nails done. She likes to do this, this, and that. But she's also like not high maintenance in that way. like she just doesn't want to get it done.

[00:10:01]>> Yeah. And I feel like I think that's beautiful too, girl, cuz I don't be doing that every day either. I feel like I'm like so, you know, like I'll get ready and do my makeup or if I have to work, >> but yeah, my mom, she and I think that she's also instilled that in me even now. Like >> I feel like a lot of people don't know that I still take my mom's advice like fully. Like I'm always asking for her approval and she's always telling me literally every single day like Like she is always giving me beauty tips. I love that crazy. My mom, why doesn't she post that?

[00:10:39]>> For real. I'm like, "Mom, you need to start doing morning routines cuz I feel like they would eat cuz my mom Okay, let me tell her you her morning routine."

[00:10:45]And this is crazy because like when I retired her, I I did I did it so like you can sleep in and like come take care of Funko whenever you can at whatever time. Like no set schedule, right?

[00:10:58]>> This lady wakes up at 7:30 in the morning, cleans the whole house, cleans the bathrooms, does her bed, washes, throws the laundry in, and then she showers, and then she does her blowout, and then she does and then she takes her tea, and then she does her breakfast.

[00:11:11]Like, she has a whole morning routine.

[00:11:13]>> She needs to post that.

[00:11:14]>> I Oh, I'm like, wait, >> that's so inspiring.

[00:11:16]>> I'm going to go wake up at 7:30 in the morning and film it and edit it for her.

[00:11:19]>> Yeah.

[00:11:19]>> Yeah. She's really >> That's this This is all making sense.

[00:11:22]Now I know why you are the way you are.

[00:11:24]>> I'm like, wait. Yeah. My grandma. She's the exact same. Yeah. My grandma, she's very like clean girl aesthetic.

[00:11:32]>> Oh my god.

[00:11:32]>> She'd be waking up at 6:00 in the morning to shower. Even when there's like Yeah. Like she sees that girl, too.

[00:11:41]>> Oh my gosh. Do you see how that like I I've been thinking about this like generations of not just routines like habits.

[00:11:50]>> Yeah.

[00:11:50]>> It affects us. Like this is why it's so hard for me to create a routine. It's so hard for me to be consistent. Like there's generations of >> no consistency. Like right now I'm thinking of my grandma and my grandma's super super like she's very very clean.

[00:12:03]But like >> I guess I don't remember how it was like growing up but I remember well like I'll talk to her now and she'll be like I and and so I think we're just used to like waking up later and my mom too like she doesn't wake up early and unless she has to or like it's hard for us to wake up early unless we have something to do or to look forward to.

[00:12:26]>> Yeah. And it's true, like it comes from your grandma and her mom and her, you know, >> there's just things that you cannot change. And I feel like we're always like, why are we like the way we are?

[00:12:35]And I'm like, oh, I'm like, this is because of my grandma or her mom, you know, and her mom needs a too. My mom literally said that my her grandma's grandma was like a porcelain doll, literally.

[00:12:47]>> What?

[00:12:47]>> Mhm.

[00:12:49]>> Oh my. Do you have pictures? I'm like, I want to see pictures of pictures of her grandma.

[00:12:53]I'm like, this is going so off topic, but I'm going to give you the quickest fun fact or like I guess it's a fun fact. It's kind of a sad fact.

[00:13:01]>> My mom's grandma was like very high maintenance, whatever. She was beautiful and her and her husband had a lot of money.

[00:13:07]>> Mhm.

[00:13:08]>> So, when she passed, okay, they found money stacked under the mattress for years.

[00:13:16]So old that it like it didn't have any value anymore.

[00:13:20]>> What? like she were just like a fashion like I have to save all this money >> and when she passed it was not usable anymore. He was so old, no value.

[00:13:30]>> That is a satisfying.

[00:13:33]>> Oh my gosh. And they weren't used they couldn't use any of it.

[00:13:36]>> I I feel like they used what they needed. Like they were literally the like frugal like and mom she's like I can't believe it.

[00:13:44]Like my even my grandma was like what the heck girl like you could have helped so many people like even your family and I guess it was just like her anxiety of like I need to save all this money and yeah when they found it it was no longer of value.

[00:13:58]>> That's a um like a tail like a it starts with a pabola.

[00:14:04]>> Uhhuh.

[00:14:05]>> Like that that's literally like a tail like a you know what I'm saying? Do I sound stupid or >> No, not at all. But isn't that great? I think that's why they say spend your money cuz it like you're she wasn't buried with it and then when they found it it was no like no value and my mom was like it was a lot of money under that mattress.

[00:14:22]>> Oh my god. You should have never told me that because now I'm like I'm going to tell every when my mom's like >> yes like when my mom tells me I'm going to be like this is a fact.

[00:14:40]Exactly. I mean like nowadays you're like yeah you obviously don't get buried with your money and your expensive purses in your house but like enjoy it while you while you can cuz your grandma could have enjoyed it.

[00:14:51]>> Yeah. I feel like she put so many limits on herself and like yeah frugal you know like it was the fear of never having it >> that at the end it didn't matter.

[00:14:59]>> She still didn't have it >> and she didn't help any of her kids or anything like >> oh my gosh.

[00:15:05]>> Yeah. Anyway, >> that is a fun sad fact.

[00:15:08]>> Sorry about that. Um, but yeah, anyways, let's get on let's get into the episode because we did ask you on Instagram to send us your questions and we will do our best to answer them. No filter.

[00:15:19]Spill the beans. Another club. Another club.

[00:15:24]Oh, wow.

[00:15:25]>> Are they a lot?

[00:15:26]>> Well, and the first one I opened and it just >> I'm like, let me give you a preview. The first one I opened and it says anal sex.

[00:15:33]Oo, we're getting spicy today, baby.

[00:15:36]>> Do you want to read what you said?

[00:15:37]>> Yes.

[00:15:38]>> Or here, I'll read it. Yeah. It says, "Send us questions you're too embarrassed to ask. Your mom, your sister, your bestie, anybody. All your friends."

[00:15:46]>> Anybody?

[00:15:48]Here we go.

[00:15:49]>> We'll be your therapist today.

[00:15:50]>> Oh, there is. There is quite a bit.

[00:15:51]>> My goodness. Okay. Do you want to start at the bottom or at the top?

[00:15:54]>> Yeah. And this is We'll start I'll start at the bottom because this is kind of going into like what we were just talking about.

[00:15:58]>> Perfect.

[00:15:59]>> Okay. Body odor. I'm constantly sweating my feet and hands armpits and it's horrible. Girl, same. Um, my hands and feet don't really sweat that much, but my underarms, my under boobs, my my pussycat, I'm really, really sweaty. Like, I don't get how people like I have friends or people that I know or like even just online, I see people there like finish their Pilates class or finish their gym class or whatever and they just go on about their day and I'm like, I could never. People would be like, "Go home and shower, girl."

[00:16:30]>> Um, >> what has helped me is glycolic acid.

[00:16:33]I've tried the glycolic acid from The Ordinary. That helps tremendously I feel like. And just kind of finding products that um that help with that. Like honestly, just Google on Google on Tik Tok. Google or Tik Tok girl. Both of them work. Um search on Tik Tok like sweaty girl hacks, stuff like that. Um and maybe you have to be like me. Maybe you have to shower at night and in the morning or not a full shower, but like a little rinse, you know, or like what do they call it? like a bird bath when you literally just clean like your down there under your boobs and your armpits and stuff cuz sometimes that's what helps. Um, also if you have excessive sweat you might have hyperhydrosis and that's a that's a let me see say a medical um >> problem that you can't fix yourself like you actually have to go that's it just means excessive sweat.

[00:17:22]>> Okay. Wow.

[00:17:23]>> Um sometimes Botox helps with that. Like I know people get Botox in their armpits.

[00:17:27]>> I have heard of that.

[00:17:28]>> Uhhuh. And maybe you might have to just look into something more if it's like excessive. Um, but honestly, yeah, just looking on TikTok and looking at products. That's how I found the glycolic acid. I know there's shower products that help with that, too.

[00:17:44]>> Um, yeah, it's just >> But just helps. And I'm sure there's other products, like more natural products, too, like maybe something you can find more locally instead of having to spend so much money. But sometimes you just have to put a little more effort in cuz >> Yeah. I've when I talk about my um clinical deodorant, they're like, "Well, is it aluminum free?" I'm like, "I don't think so, baby. I think that's got a lot of chemicals in it, you know." And >> it it sucks because I've been like very interested in doing like the what is it called? Um nature uncle.

[00:18:17]>> Um yes, native >> native like the native clean uh ingredient products. But after these babies, girl, I cannot do nothing.

[00:18:28]Nothing natural. I have to literally use deodorant. And the good thing about it is that I put deodorant in the morning.

[00:18:34]You like by the time I have to shower at night, I don't smell. So good.

[00:18:37]>> Clinical. It's the goma.

[00:18:40]>> Secret clinical gel. I always use gel. I hate the um >> powder powder >> and it's the clean clean natural clean scent. something like that.

[00:18:54]>> Do you know I used to use that and I loved it. I love her. But then I think it started giving me rashes >> because maybe has too much too many chemicals. That's how you know it's good. So I didn't smell but I was like >> scratching myself all day and also kind of sensitive.

[00:19:07]>> My skin's a little sensitive. But if that hasn't I mean it doesn't hurt to try.

[00:19:11]>> Yeah. And try a little bit at a time too, you know, because >> Yeah. Like now that I think about it, I haven't even read the ingredients, girl.

[00:19:17]And I'm not my business. What's on the back of the bottle is not my business.

[00:19:23]Let's see. Okay, I'm going to start with the one that you read earlier and it says, um, "My man likes anal sex better.

[00:19:30]Should I be worried?" Low key, I don't think you should be worried. I feel like everyone's sexual preferences are different.

[00:19:40]Worried for yourself? Maybe a little bit, girl, because that's painful. Yeah.

[00:19:45]Um, I'mma play devil devil's advocate a little bit. I don't know [ __ ] about [ __ ] but I'm done with you.

[00:19:52]>> I've listened to podcasts that say, "Okay, have you ever listened to when she's like, "No." Okay.

[00:20:04]She's literally talked about like she I think her friend I'm sure you guys can correct me, but I think she said her friend found out her husband was gay basically because he like like was getting it in the butt so much. And she she says because it's looser than it like it's not super tight. She she literally there's like clips of this where she's like >> it should be this big. She's like if it's bigger than that she's like he's kidding. Yeah. I don't even know why I'm saying this because it just I've just heard that I don't know from experience obviously, but I've just heard that sometimes it can be a little worrisome.

[00:20:41]Uh if it's only that if it's that's why I'm saying if he likes it better, but maybe just he likes the sensation of it being tighter.

[00:20:48]>> Yeah. Well, that thing like it's not even that it's tighter. It's just tight.

[00:20:52]Like you can't get in there.

[00:20:53]>> Exactly. It's impossible. He loves He loves the thrill of not being able to get in there. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm just playing ED devil's advocate because I I know there's a lot of stigma around that.

[00:21:05]>> Yeah.

[00:21:06]>> Um I don't know. Check his phone.

[00:21:09]>> Um does he flinch when you try to poke his butt at >> Just kidding.

[00:21:14]>> You're on to something.

[00:21:15]>> We're just being besties, by the way.

[00:21:16]You know, like it's just like we're spilling that he has besties. We're not judging.

[00:21:19]>> It's not that. Yeah, it's not that serious.

[00:21:21]>> It's not that It's not that deep. But >> it doesn't hurt to try. It doesn't hurt to poke his butt and see what he does.

[00:21:28]But um honestly, yeah, like I said, everyone has different sexual preferences and >> it could be worrisome if you haven't communicated that you're like, "Hey, why do you?" Because obviously I feel like everyone, even as a wife, a partner, a boyfriend, whatever you are, you're going to ask like, "Hey, why do you like this better? Why is this your favorite position?" So it doesn't hurt to be like, "Hey, like >> this is really traumatic for me."

[00:21:52]>> Yeah. And especially like if you're not enjoying it, if it's just him enjoying it and you're like, "Hey, this hurts."

[00:21:57]cuz I can imagine that >> not being super comfortable, you know?

[00:22:01]>> Yeah. And if he says like, "No, it just like it feels tighter and it feels good," then be like, "All right, let's do it once a week and then I can prepare for it with like two bottles of lube or something, girl." You know?

[00:22:12]>> Yep.

[00:22:15]This one just says dark underarms.

[00:22:17]Again, glycolic acid helps with that.

[00:22:19]>> I'm going to go buy that right now actually cuz I do have dark underarms.

[00:22:22]>> Um I didn't used to have dark dark underarms until I had Penny. So it's just mom things going >> your body gets so messed up like your hormones everything girl I feel like it restarts for the bad >> yeah no literally like there's no control over some of the things you have oh I honestly I also just bought this body wash by medicube um I don't remember what it's called maybe we can link all the maybe we can link everything and medicubis tea honestly love >> um sorry let me turn off the AC cuz I can't hear myself thinking like I can't think Um it is an orange bottle which again like I said will link but that is also for anything um darkness in the body I use it for my underarms and then honestly >> when I after No when I was pregnant I got dark around down here I'm like everything got dark for me.

[00:23:09]>> My god. Okay thank that cuz I'm going to go buy that too right now girl.

[00:23:12]>> I think you could use it for your butthole too.

[00:23:15]>> I love that. Check your butthole and then use the manicure body.

[00:23:19]>> Exactly. This one says, "Trouble orgasming. Lots of girls deal with it and it's not talked about." I a thousand% agree that it's so taboo and which sucks cuz like if you're having trouble orgasming and everyone's like, "Ah, sex is amazing." You're like, "Girl, it's kind of embarrassing to talk about, you know."

[00:23:41]>> Um, >> and what would you say about that?

[00:23:44]you're like, "Okay, I guess it depends on if you have a partner or not and if um how open your partner is to multiple things." Like, for example, my husband, he actually gets really frustrated like when I can't and it's because well, obviously, like if you you want your partner, you both want to finish. But my my husband's very open to anything. He's like, "Tell me what to do." Like he either he'll try things or he'll tell me like, "Hey, tell me if you like this or that." or he'll notice like when I'm enjoying it more. So he'll do things um getting a little burn.

[00:24:18]>> So he'll he'll just do things that he notices that I like more or like whatever. Um also bringing toys. Like my husband's always like, "Hey, if you think we need a toy in here," like he's like, "I'll go buy one." Which we have used toys before. Um right now I just feel like we're doing good. Like not that we weren't doing good before, but we were very experimentive in that era.

[00:24:37]Yeah.

[00:24:38]>> Um, but trying toys. Um, also let me put you guys on the let me freaking what are they called? The let me play and let me purr girl.

[00:24:46]>> We'll link that down below too, baby.

[00:24:49]>> Yes. Um, I I'm not sure how many like I'm not sure if it like works right away. I feel like I was just kind of taking it daily, but then I wasn't like having sex every day.

[00:25:00]>> But I do find myself kind of like I don't know if it's a placebo or not. And even if it's a placebo, like >> um I don't know. I just feel like you know when you're like ovulating and then you just everything your man does is kind of sexy. It kind of has that effect like where you just kind of like >> it kind of just basically brings your what is it called? Your libido up, your sex drive up a little bit. So um try that and if not maybe try something medical >> like something more like a higher grade.

[00:25:27]I would absolutely say that you have to communicate with your partner and you have to experiment a lot in bed I would say because you have to see like what feels good for you because obviously like our favorite positions are because that's when we feel the most we get the most out of um >> sexy time or whatever. Uh, but yeah, I would say you have to experiment a lot and you have to kind of like teach your husband the way that you can reach an orgasm because there's a lot of girls that can reach it right away and then there's girls that you have to like really like get into it, you know? And also, I feel like it has to do a lot with mental, like how mentally aware you are in that moment.

[00:26:05]Like cuz if you had a rough day and you're like thinking about, oh, I have to do laundry tomorrow and then I have to do the dishes and then I didn't reset the house and then like with all of that, you are not like it's you're not going to orgasm because you're not mentally like ready for it.

[00:26:19]>> Y >> um but yeah, I think you definitely have to communicate and tell him and experiment and be like, "Hey, can you try this or can you do this?" Or >> maybe he doesn't know where the [ __ ] is, you know, like that. It's so important.

[00:26:31]It is so important to know where it is and what's going to get you >> there. And also feel like you have to be so relaxed when you do it too because >> that's what I was going to say. Um >> now I'm just going to tell you basically mine and my husband's routine spill the beans baby.

[00:26:46]>> Um but basically like I said my husband he's like very adamant like he really really gets offended like he takes it personal even though it's not personal.

[00:26:54]So he does he puts in the work. He knows that I need to like he knows that if I'm like if I had a long day or whatever he's like she home girl's not going to want to do it. So he always literally relaxes me in one way or or another.

[00:27:06]Sometimes he literally will like on the TV he'll put like relaxing like spa music, put a candle on, literally like sit there and massage me to try to distract my head cuz he knows like >> this is he's like yes I'm putting in work now but she's going to put in work for me later you know. Um, but yeah, it is important like having having your partner kind of relax you in some It doesn't have to be a whole massage.

[00:27:27]That's just my favorite thing. But >> um I can't think of any other way to relax.

[00:27:32]>> Yeah. Honestly, >> you know, like just trying to take your mind off of things like >> maybe not having a conversation about like the things about the during the day, you know, like I think that could be stressful. Like if you're about to do it and then you're talking to your partner and you're like, "Oh, I have to do this." Like talking to your partner about either your day or what you have to get done. I don't think you're gonna enjoy your sexy time if you're just like you said your thoughts are kind of running. So finding a way to for your partner to relax you or you to relax yourself. Um >> because Yeah. I think there's no way I could finish if I'm thinking about the dishes in the sink. Correct.

[00:28:04]>> Exactly. Yeah. You have to be super relaxed and your partner has to know how to maneuver around down there and how to find the [ __ ] Like you can literally point them to it, you know, and be like, "Hey, I need you to do this. Massage right here, dude. Be gentle. Use your mouth." Like >> Yes. And foreplay is so important because >> Exactly.

[00:28:20]>> I I mean, I don't know, but I'm sure there's men out there that just like want to get it on and go. And I'm like, >> you know, I actually saw a Tik Tok um saying like my husband and I don't kiss anymore. Like it feels like we only kiss when we're in bed and like it doesn't like they don't make out anymore. I'm like that is crazy to think about because >> I feel like when you're dating that's all you want to do. Like you just want to be making out and kissing them. So, I feel like it's really important to keep that alive, too, because if also like if during the day you're not hugging, kissing, um showing like a little bit of intimacy, a little bit of a little squeeze.

[00:28:52]>> Yeah. Like I feel like at night you're like, "Oh, this is the only reason why you're caressing me or the only reason you want to spoon me because you want to have sex, you know?" So, >> yeah, that is so true.

[00:29:01]>> Yeah. Unfortunately, like I feel like people could say sex is so easy. Like just get it in, get it out, and you're done. But it's really not. Like there's a whole science behind it. And when you are married, it is so important to be so open and communicative with your husband and tell him like, "Hey, we need to like for me to be good at night ready to have sex. You need to help me out during the day." And I'm not saying like wash the dishes, but like check in with me, kiss me, show me you love me, appreciate me, you know, and like that's foreplay before the foreplay before sex. Um, but yeah, girl, honestly, like experiment and teach him teach him how to work down there.

[00:29:40]>> You have to train him.

[00:29:41]>> Yes, exactly.

[00:29:43]>> Okay, this one says, "How many days is too many days to wear the same bra?"

[00:29:49]>> See, I'm like, "Yeah, >> I'm on this one."

[00:29:56]>> I'm like, "This puppete, baby." Um, I don't think I'm the one to tell you how many days is too many days, but I'll just tell you. I'll wear my bra up until it stinks.

[00:30:06]Honestly, like, it feels good. I'm going to wear it.

[00:30:09]>> I just found the perfect push-up bra because girl, like, you know, these girls be hanging down to my knees after I breastfed for 2 years. So, >> I um found this ski push-up bra.

[00:30:22]Amazing. We will link it down below. And she's so amazing that I have to wear her every day. Like I literally wear it to the gym because it just makes me like feel like I'm actually working out, you know? I [ __ ] the sports bra. The sports bras don't have no push-up in them.

[00:30:36]>> Um so yeah, I I have to wash it like at least twice a week because I do wear it to the gym. But if I'm like wearing it just like to go out and stuff, I will push it, baby.

[00:30:47]>> So >> yeah, >> we can all goas together.

[00:30:50]>> Exactly.

[00:30:51]>> Unless I mean I I guess I could buy more. Yeah, but those are either but they are expensive. Um, if you don't want to buy the Skiims one, I have the dupe because I get mine from Target and there's only three colors. I already have three colors in rotation. So, >> even then, like I'm still like pushing it, you know? Like, if I don't have a clean bra, I'm going to wear it again.

[00:31:10]I'm not going to I'm not going to sacrifice the way my boobs look to this the cleanliness, I guess.

[00:31:16]>> Yeah.

[00:31:17]>> If it smells, it's going in the wash. If it doesn't smell, it's clean.

[00:31:20]>> Yeah, exactly. That's my mentality. So, is it actually really normal for discharge down there?

[00:31:28]>> Absolutely.

[00:31:30]>> Queen all like this is >> being a girl is >> I know. Here we go.

[00:31:35]>> I think that like we get periods where our uterus literally bleeds out and we still have to get discharged daily and you have to wear [ __ ] what are those protectors? Liners, >> panty liners.

[00:31:47]>> That is so annoying. Honestly, so freaking annoying. But yeah, like it is what's not normal is if it smells and it looks like cottage cheese.

[00:31:55]>> Yeah, >> but at that point it's probably an infection, babe.

[00:31:58]>> No, but let me tell you guys, so I had to take marriage um marital classes, premarital Hello, premarital classes um when Luc and I got married and you have to take a class that's called um natural family planning. And the whole thing is basically based on your discharge.

[00:32:13]That's how you know when you're ovulating. That's how you know when you're not ovulating. I don't know what else to >> I feel like it tells you everything you need to know about your Yeah. So, basically um when you're not really having a lot of discharge, it's because you're the least you're probably in your ludial. And when you have the like the most disgusting like should I describe or no? Do you guys want that or no?

[00:32:36]Spill it.

[00:32:36]>> Um basically, and it tells you like on the sheet, you have a sheet and it tells you this is what it looks like then you're ovulating. So, basically when you have a lot and it's super like >> what could I describe it? like an egg yolk basically. Not an egg yolk, the whites of an egg. It that's basically when you're most fertile.

[00:32:52]>> Um, >> and I guess it makes sense cuz it's like that's when you're like the most lubed up and that's when you you totally totally normal. And I'm sure with um when you have more like >> I know there's like PCOS and or actually they just changed it PC PCMS.

[00:33:12]>> Oh yeah, PCMS they just changed the name cuz it's way more than just your ovaries. um endometriosis and anything like in that relation, you could have um different type of discharge just because you know at that point you're ovulating differently.

[00:33:26]>> Yeah, of course. Yeah. So, it's totally normal unless it smells bad or looks crazy.

[00:33:30]>> Mhm.

[00:33:32]>> This is so real. It's exhausting being a girl. My night routine is tackling my acne, hair loss, dry feet, backne teeth.

[00:33:40]Exactly, queen.

[00:33:41]>> Exactly. Me every night. I'm like, "What do I really need to do tonight?" And you know what's on my feet cuz those girls are >> crack Don't even take a look over here.

[00:33:52]>> That's why I don't show them that often.

[00:33:56]>> Okay. I've never had sex and I'm almost 30. Will a man find that unattractive?

[00:34:01]>> Absolutely not.

[00:34:02]>> And it doesn't matter because the right man will love you if you've had sex or not.

[00:34:08]>> Exactly. So don't ever literally I feel like the one thing I have realized is that we are it's not that we're always like trying to overperform for men but it's like why is there is it so common for be like well do you think a man is going to find like if you're single right do you think a man is going to find me like if I have two kids he's not going to want me if I have dry feet is he not going to want me if I have a dark coochie is he not baby you're The right man will want you regardless of anything.

[00:34:41]>> Yeah. And if he's sitting there nitpicking, I'm sure he has pimples on his butt. Like >> you're literally like it doesn't [ __ ] matter what we're we are all like every single one of us have has something. Oh, I almost called somebody. Every single one of us has something that we're not obsessed with and something that we have no over control with, you know, like insecurities.

[00:35:01]>> Every single one of us, man, female, whatever. Like >> they're going to love us regardless. And wait, I feel like we're going off topic because it has nothing to do with if you've had sex or not. But that's another thing, you know, like maybe somebody there's a man out there that really respects that. I know there's couples that like I worked with somebody that she didn't have sex until she got married.

[00:35:19]>> Um and she just, you know, her she found the man for her. She her and her husband had sex on wedding night and I'm sure that was the best day of her life, you know.

[00:35:27]>> Yeah. And I think that it's also again going back to communication and being like when you feel ready to have sex with a man, maybe you wait till you're married, maybe you wait till it's like a really serious and strong relationship, >> then you're going to know that it's going to be safe for you to bring it up like, "Hey, by the way, before we do anything, like I've never had sex and I really need you to be, you know, gentle or slow."

[00:35:51]>> Um, but no, it is not. What did she say?

[00:35:54]ask if it was >> if if if she thinks a man will find that under >> and if anybody ever does >> that's not the man.

[00:36:02]>> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Like Yeah. My point is that like if you're talking to a man or whatever and he's kind of like icked out about it or whatever he's being feeling some type of way about it.

[00:36:11]>> Maybe that's not the man for you. Don't let him belittle you.

[00:36:15]>> Mhm.

[00:36:16]>> How to get his stuff out properly after letting him finish inside. That's a great question.

[00:36:21]>> Such a good question. Exactly. That's the question we were looking for.

[00:36:24]>> I'm going let you start cuz I started I started every single one.

[00:36:27]>> Like you got to run. Run to the bathroom, baby. And this is only if he finishes inside of you. And if he's finishing inside of you, unless you want to get pregnant, please >> be on birth control, girl. Use condoms.

[00:36:41]>> Yeah. Cuz even I feel like if you're naturally natural family planning and tracking your cycle, >> it's like they say that stays in there for 4 days. So be careful. Um, how do I properly get things out of me?

[00:36:56]This is This is TMI. You got to run. And literally, well, first of all, wait, this is so TMI. Like, if you're any of my family, please don't be watching this.

[00:37:06]>> Literally, you should have been clicked.

[00:37:09]You should not have not even clicked on this. Um, but obviously we always have like, you know, a t-shirt to our >> a rag.

[00:37:16]>> Yeah, a little t-shirt, a rag, a towel.

[00:37:18]Lex say if it's on period days, you know it's a towel, baby. Um, so you have to use a rag and then with that rag, you run to the bathroom and then you pee cuz it's really important for you to pee after you have sex, especially if it's unprotected because I feel like with your pee, I don't know what they say about pee, it has like some kind of chemical that can clean you or something.

[00:37:37]>> Um, so that's going to clean like kind of the outside of it. And then you got to do some kegles kegles. You have to go >> like at least 20 girl and just like is that's hilarious. You have to squeeze it all out.

[00:37:51]>> Literally.

[00:37:52]>> Literally.

[00:37:52]>> You'll see it on this toilet maybe.

[00:37:55]>> And you have to be like what's that?

[00:37:57]wasn't all and just kind of sit there, shake it out, watch a few Tik Toks, 20 minute YouTube video, literally like literally this hala cuz if not, you don't want to be waking up in the morning with some >> some of that in your underwear.

[00:38:15]>> Yeah. Um I was going to say the same thing again with that class. This that's basically what they told me. You have to just sit there, squat, and just do Keeles to try to get it all out and just just wait for it to come out basically.

[00:38:27]>> Yeah. Literally rinse it out with some pee.

[00:38:29]>> Yeah. And then rinse it out. And then I mean probably preferably taking a shower after that.

[00:38:34]>> Yeah. Like rinse off for sure after that >> because also I feel like something that is not talked about a lot is that a male's sperm, depending on how healthy they are, like how healthy they eat, what their diet is, can be really acidic and bad for your pH levels. So >> get it out. It could also like throw off your pH balance and then your discharge and then your smell and then you're going to feel a little bit more icky. So definitely like you have to do a little bit a few extra steps after you're done having sex too.

[00:39:04]>> So if you don't want to be doing no extra steps, just have them wrap it up.

[00:39:08]>> Wrap finish outside of you. I mean whatever you're perfectionist, whatever.

[00:39:13]>> I'm done.

[00:39:16]It's so dumb but true. So embarrassed for someone in the bathroom to hear me change my pad or tampon.

[00:39:22]>> Literally >> what?

[00:39:24]>> You don't embarrass me. Like I know.

[00:39:28]>> They know. Literally.

[00:39:29]>> Yeah.

[00:39:30]>> No, not I feel like that is not something you should be embarrassed about.

[00:39:33]>> Yeah, that'll see. That's where I draw the line. Um, yeah. I don't like I think that's something that you should work on mentally and be like okay first of all every single girl in here has a period has had one is or will have right now >> every single girl has had a chinton a pad everything so I feel like just you know how they're like I guess this just goes back to when you have stage fright or whatever and they're like just imagine everyone in the crowd is naked >> and it's literally that like just imagine that every single person in the bathroom is on their period and changing a pad, too, and just be like, "You know what, girl? I'mma do it. I don't care.

[00:40:14]Don't be like opening it slowly. Just do it, girl.

[00:40:18]>> What happened inside the bathroom is nobody's business. Just let it be done."

[00:40:22]>> Mhm.

[00:40:23]>> These two are kind of similar, so I'm going to kind of I'm going to read them both and then we'll answer them.

[00:40:27]Perfect.

[00:40:28]>> My sex drive is so low. It's been about 2 to 3 weeks since sex. We argue about it. And then she put red flag. I know.

[00:40:33]Um and then like a upside down smiley face. And then this one says, "Why is my sex drive so low? Like fr. I love my man. I just I think it's just me, girl.

[00:40:43]It is not just you. Like, there's something in our bodies like I swear as women there I know more women that have a low sex drive than I know that have a high sex drive.

[00:40:52]>> Exactly.

[00:40:53]>> And I think it's just hormonal. Like I think that it's out of our control. But like I said, I think there's things we can take like supplements we can take to help. And I think we just need to start taking matters into our own hands.

[00:41:04]>> Yeah. It's like vitamins, you know, like if you feel like your hair is thinning out, you're going to start taking vitamins. And >> I feel like libido is usually maybe not our first priority cuz we have so much going on as a woman as a woman already.

[00:41:17]>> Um, but honestly, like we said, go ahead and look at the let me purr.

[00:41:21]>> And it doesn't have to be those. Like you can literally just again go on TikTok and look for different type of vitamins.

[00:41:27]>> Have you seen those packets that they eat?

[00:41:29]>> No. It's like the um and they eat it and like in 20 minutes they're ready to go or something.

[00:41:35]>> So I mean genuinely like Tik Tok has changed the game for everything everything that you struggle with. So if you feel like you have a low sex drive definitely and if and if you want to work on it absolutely go ahead and start taking all these supplements because but soon you know >> but also I feel like it has a lot to do with our with us mentally as well which isn't that crazy like your me your mental health >> controls basically your whole life >> everything. Everything. Our brains literally literally are in charge of everything.

[00:42:06]>> Yeah. And that's when you have to be so open and honest about everything like hey I'm >> like I'm stressed. What do you mean? I'm stressed. I'm a new mom, first time mom, or I'm postpartum or I don't know, like this big life change happened and I can't just be of service to you. Like, I need you to help me out somewhere.

[00:42:21]>> And if you feel like it's just like your partner's present, he's doing everything he can, and you just feel like you're not in the mood, I think that's when it comes into buy some lube, get some vitamins. Yep.

[00:42:35]I feel like that sucks. I feel like there's You're right. There's so many girls that struggle with that. And I feel like especially postpartum that's when I was postpartum I was 6 months postpartum. I was like girl like I don't want nothing in there still please.

[00:42:49]>> This one is kind of similar to it's hating or the ones I'm going to read are the same kind of so it's hating my body because of my new stretch marks and weight gain during breastfeeding and not feeling like myself postpartum and not knowing how to dress myself.

[00:43:03]I feel like that's so valid. When you're postpartum you literally everything changes. not only your body but your hormones, your mental health, your life, like your life changes, >> every every single aspect. I wish there was like a like a a way we can put it visually because I know we hear these things. We hear it all the time. I wish we could like visually put it in like um kind of like a >> like an analogy to better understand because I feel like even as women like we understand it because we've been through it. But >> when I had moms like you when I wasn't a mom and you were and you would tell me these things and even then like we didn't talk about it that much because it's like well I'm not I can't relate to you like you would tell me things but not in the way that we speak about it now because we relate to it. It is so much. It's literally like being taken apart in every single part of you. Like being taken apart and being put back together like is what it feels like >> differently. And you don't know yourself at all. You have this identity crisis where it's like, well, now you have this person that you have to take care of, a baby that you don't know.

[00:44:09]>> And on top of that, you have everything changed about you. Everything. And I feel like there's no way to know how your postpartum is going to go. And I feel like I what I wish there was more of too on social media is more realistic like a more realistic way to put expectations on postpartum moms because what I do see now and I guess this is I think it has a lot to do with the people that you follow and the the content you consume but what I've seen lately from uh influencer moms that I follow is that at the 6 week mark they're already at the gym. They're like, "I just got cleared yesterday. I'm going to the gym today." And then or even like 3 weeks postpartum, I'm going outside and taking a one mile walk with my baby and doing this and doing that.

[00:44:58]And I feel like that puts so much pressure on other moms that are like, I'm 3 weeks postpartum and I'm still bleeding and I feel like [ __ ] and I don't want to be out walking. I don't want to go outside. So, I feel like I wish there was more around the literally just rot in bed with your newborn, you know? And that's the one thing I would say. It's you have to raw in bed with your newborn and accept it. Like, yep, my boobs are huge and my stomach is huge and I'm bleeding and I'm bloated and I don't know what to wear because obviously when you come home and you're postpartum, you're so chal and you don't want to wear any of the outfits you have.

[00:45:33]So, I would say when you feel like that, you feel like you hate your body, you feel like you don't know how to dress yourself, you're having like this identity crisis, I would say that you have to be more graceful to yourself and say you literally just brought a life into this earth and you're their everything. Like you are their food source, their comfort source, everything. So stop I would say stop talking bad to yourself about yourself, you know, >> making yourself a burden. You're not a burden to yourself.

[00:46:06]>> Exactly.

[00:46:06]>> Like you're everything to this person.

[00:46:08]>> Yeah.

[00:46:08]>> To this little tiny human being.

[00:46:10]>> Yeah. And of course you had stretch marks because your body stretched. Like isn't that beautiful? Like wow, my body stretched enough to have this baby in my belly and this is what I get afterwards.

[00:46:19]Stretch marks. And everyone has them and not everyone shows them. And I wish they did a little bit more. But everyone has stretch marks whether it's in their belly, their legs, their arms, their boobs. And everyone deals with the same thing postpartum. It's just that now like on the media and like on TV, all you see is like these beautiful girls that have all the help postpartum and are at the gym and they're eating healthy or, you know, having their salads. I'm like, "Girl, I was having a ros leche 24/7 after I gave birth, you know?"

[00:46:52]>> Yeah. I think we need to change the words bounce back because you're never ever ever ever ever going to be back to where you were like period. You might be worse, you might be better, but you're not going to be back to where you were before. It's just the reality. And that's why it's so hard to >> to take that in. It's so hard to like accept and realize that we're not going to be who we were before. And that is like it is so crazy. Like it's actually crazy insane. But it is our reality and we do have to just accept that like our body is not the same. Our brains is are not the same. Like I never experienced anxiety before being pregnant and having my child and now I'm like anxiety 24/7.

[00:47:28]Just call me anxiety cuz that's where I'm at.

[00:47:32]>> Um and same with like she kind of talked about like the way you dress and stuff like that. You kind of have to just n navigate through it. Um before I had my daughter, I literally my wardrobe was like crop tops. like everything was crop tops, everything was like um everything was everything I wore was tight basically. Even when I was like up in weight, I didn't care. Like I still would wear crop tops. And even and now I'm like I don't own not one crop top cuz I just don't feel comfortable in it.

[00:48:00]Um, also like I have I didn't really get stretch marks um around my stomach, but I have a lot of loose skin and even like when I sit down I'm like man like I feel like I don't know if this is I'm I'm sure like we as women especially after having kids we think about this like I wish I could get this done and get this done >> and then and then I think about it and I'm like girl like why are you why are you trying to hide everything like it happened Nemo? Like I don't know. It's just it's so it's it's so much pressure for we put on ourselves >> Yeah.

[00:48:35]>> to feel and look a certain way. And I think social media does um kind of push you. But I think it's also different realities like you said like you were relaxing with your newborn um newborns cuz you you typically practice at Guarentina. For me I felt like those women that I not in the working out aspect cuz I wasn't working out before.

[00:48:57]I've never been more active in my life than I was like in this era of my life.

[00:49:01]But to me it was like I cannot sit and rott in bed because to me I was like I can't let this like I don't want to quote unquote catch postpartum depression. And so to me I was like I have to be up and moving every single day which I don't think was right. Like I remember >> um a few days after I had Penny, I had just had a C-section >> and I wanted to be as active as I could but I remember we went to Best Buy to get something. It was like our one outing of the day. Um me, Louis, and Penny went to Best Buy and I remember all we did was like walk around the store like one time and then we were in line and line was the line was so long and I remember I was literally sitting there like about to cry because I was in so much pain and I was so uncomfortable and I was like this line it needs to go like I started sweating because I felt like [ __ ] But for me, I felt like I had to like get up and move and I had to get up and go do things because I didn't want to like fall into that, which I know like postpartum depression, it's going to get you no matter if you're outside or in the house, but to me in my head, I was like, I just have to like I can't sit here and stay home all these days. I have to have something to look forward every single day. And I'm kind of like that >> like dayto-day anyway. So for me, I was like, okay, I'm going to use this opportunity that my husband's home.

[00:50:10]Also, my husband was able to get a month off of work, which he's always 24/7 he's working. So, to me, I'm like, I need to take advantage and do things with him.

[00:50:17]>> Yeah.

[00:50:17]>> Even though I'm like, I should have been staying, you know, >> not I don't know. I think there's a good balance. I just think I was putting that pressure on myself. Yeah, for sure. I think that when you become a mom, like we said, your whole life changes and you genuinely don't know how to navigate the change and it's different for everybody.

[00:50:35]some want to be out do going on walks and do and I feel like it also helped that I had Franco when he was it was like the thick of winter you know it was cold and I actually genuinely couldn't go out where my mom would kick my ass >> but it's just I think it's being so graceful and saying like everyone went through this like you know like that Tik Tok trend that was like the photo I posted and what I really saw and it's like a beautiful photo and then they zoom into their arms and then all the comments are like we would have never noticed that you know And it's the it's the same thing for us when we're postpartum. I feel like you want to bounce back and you want to be the same person you were before and you want to look you want to fit into the same outfits you used to wear prior and you're like, "Oh, all these people are probably looking at me and saying like, damn, say h or she let herself go." But it's like genuinely everybody is living everything for the first time. So give yourself grace and acceptance like you know what I just had a baby and of course I'm going to be a little bit bigger and of course I have stretch marks and you know what in a few months you're going to feel a lot better and you're going to go and buy a new wardrobe and say you know what the leggings and crop tops I used to wear.

[00:51:41]They're not part of me anymore. That was part of an era before I was a mom. Now I'm a mom and this is what I feel comfortable wearing, you know. And I think that that it it just goes such a long way to be patient with yourself and to accept exactly where you are because I feel like when you're going through such a hard transition in life, you right away want to feel good, right?

[00:52:04]Like you need your mental health to be like, I need to feel good. Like I need to feel like myself. And it just doesn't work like that because of the transition you're going through. Like realistically, your brain chemistry is changing altogether.

[00:52:15]>> Mhm. So that's what I would say is like you have to give yourself grace. You have to give yourself time. And the one thing I've always said and told all my friends like you get your pink back and it might be in a year or two years, but you do. So I I would say just focus like the first year of your baby's life and be like this is the year that I'm pouring everything into my newborn and into this child that is brand new to the world. And then when I start feeling myself again, then I'm going to start pouring into myself. You know, >> give yourself those like time periods.

[00:52:45]It's it's really hard to be patient with yourself. It's really hard and in anyway like physically, mentally, it's hard to be patient, but it's going to happen.

[00:52:52]And whether it's >> a new version of you or you start to get like your pink back, like you said, it's >> you're not going to be in this void that you fill forever. Absolutely.

[00:53:02]>> It is really hard to just kind of feel patient and just kind of wait it out, but it is what's going to happen. And >> I'm like I know it it just sucks. It's like it's just something we have to go through kind of like there's no way over it.

[00:53:15]>> Yeah. You have to go through it and I I think you have to be very vocal to your support system whether it's your husband, your mom, your sisters and say, "Hey, you know what? Like I really need you to be supportive right now and like lift me up, you know, >> because sometimes that's all you need too is like words of reassurance like you're so beautiful, babe. Like you just brought this baby into this life. Like you just gave us the best gift, you know, and just have people that uplift you and be very vocal about your needs."

[00:53:39]For sure.

[00:53:39]>> Yeah. I remember I was thinking about this. Um I gained like 20 lbs after having Penny. Like this was for me it was very traumatic mentally because I was the heaviest I had ever been and then I got pregnant and then I lost a lot of weight because I don't know what hormones my hormones did but my hormones loved me when I was pregnant. I lost a lot of weight. I felt amazing when I was pregnant. Um like physically I felt amazing. I was skinny with a little belly. You know my outfits were like the best ever cuz when you when you style that bump it's like nobody can tell you nothing. Exactly.

[00:54:09]>> And then after um I remember when Blanca had Franco, she was like, "Oh, breastfeeding like literally like took everything like took all your weight."

[00:54:17]And I'm like, "I can't wait for this, you know?" I'm like, "I'm going to breastfeed for 3 years like my skin forever."

[00:54:23]>> And for me, it was the opposite actually. I had to I was eating way way more, like way more because I had to keep up with the milk. And so I just was like eating more and craving more cuz when you're breastfeeding, everything's so yummy.

[00:54:35]>> Absolutely. So, I gained like 20 lbs.

[00:54:38]And for me, like I was just trying to do everything and anything to feel myself.

[00:54:42]Like I was trying to find myself. I cut my hair three months postpartum because I wanted to look different to feel different and to focus on something other than my weight cuz like I was trying my best, but I had to feed my baby, you know, at that point. Like I was like, who cares about my weight?

[00:54:55]Like who cares about what I look and feel like? My child needs to be fed. Um, where was I going with that? There was a there was a point to that story. Oh, that I cuz you said that your partner needs to be supportive. And I know like I just know I obviously I felt like [ __ ] I felt like I looked crazy. Like I just felt like I wasn't in my body. And even still every single day like L would tell me, "You're so beautiful." And I'd be like, "I just feel so fat, this and that." And he'd be like, "No, you're not." And like I know he was lying to my face and he'd be like, "No, you're not."

[00:55:26]He's like, "That ass still fat. You look so good. This, this, and that."

[00:55:29]>> Yeah. Being your heist man.

[00:55:31]>> Exactly. And I'm like, I'm sure he like, not that he wasn't attracted to me or anything, like I know he's always going to love me and feel attracted to me, like he still always wanted to have sexy time, whatever. But he was still, even if he was lying out of his ass, I don't care. He made me feel like I was like still a baddie. And like we would go out and he never would be like, I don't know, like it's the bare minimum, you know? But like men are a different thing. But I'm like we would go out and I never felt like he was like looking at other girls. like I still felt like he was like I was his everything. Even though I felt like my absolute worst, he still made me feel like I was that a baddie basically. So that's why it's important to have the right men. Not the right men. The right men >> or men.

[00:56:12]>> I meant to say men as like all of us. We all need the right men around us, but the right the right man with you. And like you said, even if you don't have a man, if you're going postpartum and you don't have a husband, whatever, just the right people, the right >> your the right people. That's >> Yeah. Absolutely. You have to have the right support system and be like, "Hey, I need you to uplift me a little bit."

[00:56:31]You know, and it's true like everybody goes through this. I remember when I had villain, too. I was like, "Oh, I'm going to snatch the [ __ ] up when I breastfeed her." Absolutely not, baby. That was a different story. The same thing happened to me. Like, I started retaining so much fat because I I had to keep up with my breast um milk and I was eating so much.

[00:56:50]I'm like, "Ah, it's just going to slide off. Who cares?" It didn't. Okay. And I remember like I was I looked back and I was retaining so much liquid. I was chunky. I did not feel my best. I also chopped my hair off. Who like this is a universal experience by the way.

[00:57:05]>> And I just remember like I didn't feel good you know. And it was having that support system like girl you look good or babe you look fine. Like I love your new hair or I love this I love that.

[00:57:17]>> And that's what you need. like you just kind of need words of affirmation and reassurance and you know because slowly but surely you will be back >> to a mental health or to a safe mental health state where you're like you know what I just had a baby and I can do whatever I want basically you know pat yourself on the back babe because that's amazing and beautiful you know >> and also really quick to add on to that I feel like also what helped me feel better was I was trying different styles on myself like I was trying to dress up more and I know we can get really lost in like just wearing you know, like I I know like either loose clothing, which not saying loose clothing is bad, but when you're just kind of wearing sweats and a t-shirt and not styling it, just kind of wearing it. When you start kind of wearing clothes that make you feel good, even though you're you feel big >> and you don't feel like yourself, if you kind of start just styling your outfits better, start doing your makeup a little bit, your hair a little bit, not anything extravagant, but that's literally how you start to feel better.

[00:58:12]And then that way you're going to get motivated to do everything else. It's like because I was getting ready every day, I'm like, well, I should kind of start working out since I'm getting ready or I should start, you know, it's just like a cycle of things. You start kind of feeling better after you put more effort into yourself.

[00:58:26]>> Yeah. And I would say that this is also a great time to start experimenting with your makeup, your hair, your outfits.

[00:58:33]Like, yeah, you go through this phase where you're like, maybe I shouldn't have cut my hair or maybe I shouldn't have worn those jeans. But it's such a good place to start, you know, because you slowly start seeing what your new body, your new confidence is going to feel good in, you know, and I feel like, girl, I've been called crazy for the outfits I put on. But genuinely, it's me being like, no, you know what? This hides my FOA or this hides my arms and I hate my arms and I feel good. And that's all you need. Like reassurance and acceptance of yourself so that nobody else can dim your light, baby. I have mic drop.

[00:59:05]>> Mic drop.

[00:59:07]Never.

[00:59:09]>> But yeah, girls. I I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. I think we did spill the beans a little bit. Maybe now you guys think we're coaching Maranas with the same bra for a week, but >> I know >> sometimes you just got to do what you got to do. All right.

[00:59:21]>> I think it's a universal experience.

[00:59:22]>> Change it every 3 hours to get a bra.

[00:59:26]>> Yeah.

[00:59:27]>> Yeah. I feel like I have all types of different underwears like for the gym, for sleeping, for you know. Yeah. And let us know if you want a part two. This is so informative and fun to do and I feel like it's >> like I love this because I feel like I'm learning things about like how girls live or what we're the way we're supposed to do things quote unquote or whatever. So if you want a part two of this, I feel like there's more like more things we could talk about hygiene wise or like anything.

[00:59:52]>> Yeah. And I hope that you guys feel so like what say they say >> like seen >> like seen and reassured and heard because genuinely unless we were talking about this we would all think like we're coachina Maranas like all these girls are so clean girl aesthetic but genuinely like everybody farts everybody poops everybody picks their nose like >> everybody makes mistakes makes mistakes so it's it's nice to feel like oh I'm not the only person that deals with discharge or low libido or you know >> so let us knowactly in the comments or what other kind of episodes you would like to listen to and we will give them to you. Yep. Perfect. And with that, we'll see you in the next one. Bye.

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