Lelei provides a compelling analysis of the friction between individual autonomy and the patriarchal expectations embedded in traditional cultural structures. Her work highlights the exhausting but necessary labor of modern women who refuse to let heritage become a tool for their own suppression.
Deep Dive
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Deep Dive
african thought daughter final bossAdded:
Is it even recording? What the flip it What the flip is up guys? I'm back from the dead. I did come down with a debilitating illness for like a week. [music] This is a visual representation of me for the past like eight days.
>> [crying] [laughter] >> But I'm finally back and kicking. I was playing around with my makeup, aka I shaved my eyebrows off again. I just they just keep getting thinner [music] and thinner and thinner. One day you're going to see me on here with no eyebrows. And it's probably going to eat. It is suspiciously nice [music] outside and I want to go I was about to be like, I'm going to go on a jog.
[ __ ] lie. I'm going to get coffee.
But I need to change my clothes and I have no like summer Sorry if I My fan is loud but it's cuz hot as balls. I have no like summer or spring adjacent clothes because I swear to god every year they never fit me again or in like the fall time or end of summer or like when it's about to be winter I'm like I actually own my clothes and those clothes all are low-key my summer clothes. So then I throw them all away and then I'm like wow I'm overheating.
I wear these. I'm going to wear this shirt that I thrifted from my friend >> [music] >> and I've had for like four years.
>> [music] >> Low-key I look that this kind of ugly.
Low-key this kind of ugly actually. I don't even care. [ __ ] stamp update. How it looks so far.
I think it's pretty healed.
I hope you can see it half the time. I mean most of the time it's not really noticeable unless I'm wearing [music] like a crop top like right now, but I hashtag love it. I am not a very I'm not good with pain. I'm very I have a very low pain tolerance. I'm actually very weak willed. But a lot of the things that I do one is because I like how it like contrast my personality. Like I think you wouldn't expect me to have a [ __ ] stamp or a tattoo or whatever.
But and so I like doing things that contrast my personality and throw people for a loop. But also a lot of things I do are low-key like yolo and spur of the moment. If I think [music] too much it's not going to happen.
Weekend go My cousin got married and by married I mean I'm low-key lying because she didn't [music] get married yet. Her actual wedding is in June but That's the outfit. Hold on.
Get a little Get a little dance. Get a little dance.
>> [laughter] >> I'm Kenyan.
Kenyan try not to say their Kenyan challenge. I actually had to get a new bracelet the other day cuz I lost my This is my third one because I had one with my name on it like from Kenya, lost it. But that one lasted three years. And then the one I just had I've had since like 2021 and I like I like don't ever want to wear it to work because I'm like I'm going to because I work at a coffee shop I'm like I'm going to like this is going to get dirty or it's going to like just like I hate wearing bracelets or any jewelry cuz [music] it overstimulates me. But also like at work whenever I wear like a bracelet I get really like I don't know. Like it I hate doing it. I got [ __ ] for not wearing it one day cuz someone was like, are you Kenyan? I didn't wear it and then they were like and I'm actually like [ __ ] I hope you trip. I wore it to work one day and then I am never saw it again. It wasn't the actual [music] wedding. It was more like the it's the pre-wedding and the pre-wedding is a tradition.
Um and it's like to like [music] raise money for the wedding and just it's low-key just a pre-game for the wedding.
But it's [music] just as big and just as much of a big deal I feel like. I was in her pre-wedding and that um wow. And also like when I got [music] home like the next day and we were like debrief when we were actually debriefing in the morning and by morning I mean 6:00 a.m.
because we like attempted like we were all the like all the youth >> [clears throat] >> all the youth got together after and then by the time that was over it was like 5:00 a.m. and then [music] I just we just we had a lot to because people were coming from out of town. So people we haven't seen in so long and people I haven't met before even or haven't met or I have met and I don't remember cuz I was [music] like 10. But we were basically debriefing over a lot of stuff and I remember when I >> [music] >> we actually went to bed it was like 8:00 a.m. and then I got home and I genuinely had to stare at a wall. Like I literally was in bed like this.
Huh. But I'm going to go oh My makeup turned out really good. I learned what bronzer is guys. I did learn what bronzer is and that who knew could make such a difference.
>> [music] >> I LOVE THIS SONG.
There are so many like African stereotypes. [music] Train. Like I hate when they're true.
What the [ __ ] do I even want?
I'm on my own job I don't even know what I think I want. I do that and I'm like, so you get the same thing every time.
Stop playing. If you ever want a Dutch Bros recommendation and you're like, I don't know what to get. I'll tell you what not to get. We had matcha and one of my friends my friend Amina she was like I she I literally go don't get the matcha. She goes and gets the matcha. And she made a video about it and I was in her comments being like, I don't even feel bad for you cuz I literally told you not to get it.
She's like, I wanted to feel connected.
I'm like, girl that's your fault. I don't It was so ass. It was so bad. Now I'm in a random park.
>> [snorts] >> So good. Basically this I've been word I was like word vomiting on the phone [music] with my friend the other night and I was just like, yo. Like Why are people like this? Not not like that but like kind of like that. Those videos that are like oldest African daughter like this that and the third. And I'm not the oldest daughter I'm the youngest but African thought daughter final boss.
Like I might There are so many things that >> [music] >> like the [ __ ] that like like boys get away with it. Like if I did it like my head would be on a platter. It's freaking hilarious. And also the wind.
See they agree. My parents are not Americanized >> [music] >> I feel like at all especially compared to some of my friends who like oh my god like they believe in depression. That's crazy. So I like oh my mom's like famous line is like whenever my room's dirty. Hey. Hey. Hey.
I never said I was perfect. As a girl.
As a girl. And my dad says this too like it'll literally be the most like mundane or like normal ass person thing. Like your room's a mess. I don't make my [music] bed or my bathroom's dirty. As a girl. The the sentence always starts like that and I'm just like the things your son has done. I'm like, if I did that this would be like a three three-person family because I wouldn't be alive anymore. There are so many things that I just and yesterday like I just was like remembering that and like it was like it just like even the things they were saying during the ceremony obviously I'm just like, oh this is textbook and like I know like I know this is just how they are and how they talk but just things they say I'm like, whoo.
Like I'm saying this one thing during the pre-wedding that I wish I got on video but I was like barely on my phone during this somehow. My cousin's fiance is Nigerian. The MC kept saying like, when the East and the West come together something beautiful happens. And I just kept laughing cuz he kept saying it. And he was like, if there's any single East and any single West in here something beautiful could happen. And I was literally like There are just so many things especially because she's the first one I think out of like my family [music] and family friends who are like near my age like the youth who was getting married and it just made me think like wow like I don't want is this going to happen if if I get married is this what's going to happen? Oh I don't know if I I just don't I was just thinking about that and I was like, wow that's crazy.
>> [music] >> And obviously my biggest fear is like my culture dying with me and I become like the great great great great grandma that like like >> [music] >> my great grandchild is like, my grandmother is like African like that's my biggest fear. Being like a lost ancestor for someone and nothing is passed down. But there are some things I'm totally okay with staying with my parents and not being passed down.
Example, the idea that you have to completely submit to your husband as their wife. That was something I remember uh that is something I'm like, oh like cut it. Like burn it. That's like not even from a religious standpoint just like that idea in general like is very prevalent in I'd say like [music] a lot of like African culture in general and I'm just like, yeah [ __ ] that. I remember my cousin told me how she was like, yeah like we told them like if they want to MC our like stuff and do all this like that is one of the things like that is not going to happen. And I was really like I'm very happy like I'm very proud or like happy that she said that because that's setting a precedent of like, okay this is my this is my day.
This is for me. You're not going to like take a hold of it. And sometimes some things feel like at the end of the day it's not even for you. Like when I asked her how many people are going to be at the wedding I like I was just like, why did I even ask that? Like I know it's going to be just like a [ __ ] ton of people I've known from like ever like ever I feel like. I'm like, if and when like when I get married if I get most of it is not for me. It's for everyone else. And cuz if I had it my way yo low-key I would elope and then just have a fire reception but that would give everyone a panic attack. I was talking to my cousin my younger cousin and her age gap is the same age gap as me like my brother and I and I was we were talking about just like sometimes >> [music] >> like these events are awkward because people will like come up to you and talk to you and then your parents will get upset that you're quiet and you're shy and it's like, I literally don't know this person. And I literally just like shaking her. I was like, I like, I know what you're saying. That is a very real feeling, and it's a very complicated feeling, because there are people like, >> [music] >> traveling to see, like, imagine people coming and traveling to see you get married or this, that, and the third, and you have no idea who they are. And people are getting like, not upset, well, upset, and just like, just confused [music] like, you don't feel this instant connection with this person, and you're trying to explain the fact that like, okay, like, this is like virtually a stranger. Like, I don't know this person. Like, yes, we're cousins, but like, I don't know this person. I remember I tried to explain it to my parents, and my mom literally, like, my dad literally yelled at me. And he was [music] just like, like, what do you mean? Like, this is your family. Like, it doesn't matter, they're family. I've met them once.
How does that I'm like, I just feel like thing, like, events like this, like that everyone comes together, like, a wedding, or a grad party, or this, that, and the third, or just like, the times that I think about these things the most. [music] You feel really bad, or I feel bad sometimes, and not anymore. When you don't like someone, and they're like a part of your family, or like, they're like a family friend, and you like, don't like them, but then everyone else has this idea of like, oh, they're family.
Like, like, you can't not like them.
I don't like subscribing to that. Like, [music] my parents subscribe to that.
My, like, everyone I know subscribes to that, and I'm just like, I hate that. I don't like that. If you're a bad Why the Why do I have to like I don't like you.
Why does that mean Why do I have to pretend to like you? Like, people will have beef with their family that extends like, like, they don't talk to their sister, they don't do this, that, and the third, but when it comes to showing face, it's like, and I'm like, this is very odd. And that's how I felt the other day. And obviously, and then there were like, all these other things where I'm just like, yo, [music] like, the difference between men and women is crazy. I love being I love being Kenyan. Obviously, there was a time where I didn't, and then I wanted to die.
As much as I love it, there are things that I don't like, and that I don't like about just the African the like, African mindset in general, and just like, you know, things that, um, not wanting to evolve, which I think is not good, but I also met one of my TikTok mutuals, like, in at this wedding. And I literally was like, what the [ __ ] Welcome to the vlog. It's 1:05, but Link of the century, though. Cousin reveal.
>> [laughter] >> It was really funny, cuz I was like, yo, like, why are you here? So random. And, um, the moral of this This was a vlog. I don't know what the freak I don't know what it turned into, and me just like, if you can hashtag relate, comment down below. What are the What are the What is the African community like where you live?
What are What are even What If you liked If you liked that, if you Hey.
If you like My Instagram is @kelsylalei, l a l e i, if you want.
If you want, my TikTok is Annabeth Duke, with a three.
And I will see you guys on Saturday.
>> [snorts and music] >> Hello, B, >> [singing] >> who can make my life complete.
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