Grammar Girls Grind - Sitcom

Added: 2026-06-01

[00:00:08]I need you to both lock in. You're getting the answers wrong. If you get IT WRONG, IT'S THE BUCKET. Give me the answer. 1 2 3 go.

[00:00:14]>> A square + B²= C.

[00:00:16]>> Correct. Who discovered THE PROTON? A WHITE MAN.

[00:00:19]>> SO, I WAS RIGHT.

[00:00:20]>> Half point.

[00:00:22]>> Son's famous motto.

[00:00:25]>> No, I haven't.

[00:00:28]>> A piece of land and bread.

[00:00:51]woman.

[00:00:52]>> No, PLEASE DO IT AGAIN. I'M DOING IT.

[00:00:55]>> Every time, Kian. Every single time.

[00:00:59]A million deaths is a statistic.

[00:01:04]>> B, you don't even take history.

[00:01:06]>> I have a real connection with the dictators.

[00:01:12]>> Stalin was a Sagittarius and I'm a Sagittarius.

[00:01:15]>> Oh, no. That that does make sense.

[00:01:17]>> There is quite a lot of logic to that.

[00:01:18]That is not logical. It's not logical.

[00:01:43]20 21 22 23 24 25 >> Harmon, we want good grades, not a six-pack. Why are we doing press ups?

[00:02:06]>> And I want my mother to stop working late with her accountant, Steve. But we can't all get what we want. 10 more.

[00:02:14]>> There's sweat in the crack of my ass.

[00:02:17]>> Physical activity improves the speed of thinking time by 18%. It is imperative for my regime. We're doing all of this for a few little tests.

[00:02:26]>> Seriously, silly boy. These are not little tests, Kian. These are the first assessments of six form. Okay. They define our status in class for the next 2 years.

[00:02:40]>> Oh, you peed.

[00:02:42]>> Sickening.

[00:02:42]>> No, I No, I I wasn't I like I like her.

[00:02:48]Look, okay, I get it. I want good grades, too. And yes, at my old school, >> the comprehensive >> comprehensive more like the zoo land where they house wild zoo animals.

[00:03:00]>> Yes. Okay. Okay. At my old comprehensive school, we still cared about tests.

[00:03:05]Okay. But it wasn't this intense. We were encouraged to have a life outside of school, you know, to play sport or audition for musicals.

[00:03:13]>> Whether you like it or not, rabbit schools are intense. This is your new normal.

[00:03:27]The nutrients helps me soak up the information.

[00:03:30]>> We are capable. We are smart. Grades should not define us, but realistically they do. So we must do perfectly.

[00:03:39]>> Amen.

[00:03:43]>> A woman.

[00:03:45]>> We have eight minutes.

[00:03:47]>> Do I look okay? Tess are so much harder for ugly people. You should try and cover that.

[00:03:54]>> Oh great, it's little miss. I'm so pretty and oh I'm so perfect when how I love seeing your face. Everyone does. I nervous for today. Apparently, it's an easy baseline, so you should manage to get a C.

[00:04:24]>> Um, well, I suppose you spent your weekend thinking of that subpar insult and didn't have time to revise.

[00:04:32]Stressed?

[00:04:33]>> No. Ew. Stress. I mean, I barely revised, but you know, I said perfect guidance.

[00:04:47]She should be stressed. God only gives guidance on a Sunday. That's like his whole thing.

[00:04:51]>> Did you see how she was looking at me?

[00:04:53]>> Like with her eyes.

[00:04:59]What a [ __ ] >> Right.

[00:05:09]Oh, I'm [ __ ] it. No. I don't know.

[00:05:12]Metaphorically like I'm nervous. I know I shouldn't be. I've got a steady belt, you know. Good vibra and that slight gay lift that people like.

[00:05:25]BOOGIES. WOO. OKAY, that was for my nerves. Sorry. Are you nervous? Of course not. Why should you be? I bet you've done this before. I bet you're a great singer. I mean, like, I haven't heard you sing, but you've got like a real intensity to you. Like I'm like I'm actually kind of scared of you right now.

[00:05:49]I reckon I'm this way because when I caught my dad cheating on my mom, he threatened to kill me if I didn't keep a secret.

[00:05:57]Oh [ __ ] Or maybe it's because I didn't learn to we on my own until I was nine.

[00:06:03]>> Kian Edward me. Yeah, I'm Kian.

[00:06:08]Thanks for listening. I really needed that. Uh oh, Freya. Cool name. See you around.

[00:06:27]Is it time yet?

[00:06:36]Okay. Now. Now. It must be now.

[00:06:42]>> Have you opened them yet?

[00:06:43]>> No. Where have you been? You completely missed the history test yesterday.

[00:06:47]>> I took it off to school because it clashed with the auditions for Greece.

[00:06:52]>> I'm sensing you aced your audition.

[00:06:55]>> Yeah, they loved me. And also, I met this GIRL CALLED A star 98%.

[00:07:10]>> I must do better.

[00:07:11]>> An A.

[00:07:12]>> God damn.

[00:07:14]>> Jesus.

[00:07:17]>> A star.

[00:07:19]>> What?

[00:07:20]>> What? No. That doesn't even make history.

[00:07:22]>> That makes no sense.

[00:07:23]>> OBVIOUSLY CHEATING.

[00:07:24]>> B. You don't even take history.

[00:07:26]>> What's your point?

[00:07:30]I failed. I completely failed.

[00:07:33]>> An F. A U.

[00:07:36]>> I can't even say it.

[00:07:44]>> Oh, an A. That's decent.

[00:07:46]>> Oh, that's decent. Just think THAT'S DECENT. MY NAME'S KIM AND AN A IS DECENT.

[00:07:52]>> Such a stupid idiot.

[00:07:54]>> Shall I sing a little to lighten the mood?

[00:07:58]I got you.

[00:08:11]>> I've gathered you all here today because tomorrow are the headgirl hustings. As my friends, you are socially obligated to support me, right?

[00:08:24]I get perfect grades. I play three instruments. I volunteer with the elderly on Sundays and my therapist worries that I will go over the edge IF I DO NOT get this.

[00:08:38]So, who's with me? The campaign common.

[00:08:49]Wait, I made campaign shots.

[00:09:02]You'll vote for me, right?

[00:09:06]>> No, you're weird.

[00:09:08]>> So last year, she tried to get me to join Dungeons and Dragons.

[00:09:43]Carmen, what are you doing here?

[00:09:51]Not so loud.

[00:09:53]>> Be why are you here?

[00:09:57]>> Sometimes I like to come over and sleep beside you.

[00:10:02]With me by your side, I shall make this school great again. Vote common.

[00:10:10]>> Yay.

[00:10:13]>> Do these look done?

[00:10:21]Happy 5 minutes.

[00:10:27]It's not working. I need the stones.

[00:10:34]>> Moonstone for growth.

[00:10:36]>> Gross.

[00:10:38]>> Jasper for empowerment.

[00:10:44]>> Rose quartz for love. I don't need love.

[00:10:46]I need fear. People must fear the ruler in order TO PUT THEM IN POWER.

[00:10:50]>> I don't think I've got anything for that.

[00:10:52]>> Use the black ones. They look powerful.

[00:10:54]It's not enough.

[00:10:57]>> It's not enough.

[00:10:59]It's >> not enough.

[00:11:01]Carmen, are you okay?

[00:11:06]>> I'm functioning 31% less than my optimum state.

[00:11:10]>> Sweet, silly. Carmen. I listen. Unlike some of the company you keep, you're smart and and hardworking, intense, yet oddly likable.

[00:11:23]You have a genuine shot. A deputy headgirl.

[00:11:28]See, you're there. One chance.

[00:11:32]>> Wow, she is beautiful.

[00:11:34]>> I want to lick her eyelid.

[00:11:35]>> I was thinking the same thing.

[00:11:37]>> One eye each.

[00:11:40]>> Hey. Hey, you are being ridiculous and in fact anti-feminist because there is more to women than their appearance.

[00:11:49]They have souls.

[00:11:52]>> I really like your hair today.

[00:11:54]>> Oh, thank you, Megan.

[00:12:03]Now, let's focus our attention back to Carmen, who is about to smash this speech. A crowned head nerd.

[00:12:12]girl.

[00:12:14]I said what I said.

[00:12:35]They gave her both roles. That has to be a mistake.

[00:12:41]I thought you smashed your speech.

[00:12:43]>> The part where I threw up on stage or the part where it landed on Miss Jyn.

[00:12:48]>> I thought it was all sick.

[00:12:55]>> No, sorry.

[00:12:56]>> She was She was delusional.

[00:13:02]Okay.

[00:13:08]>> So, was the rest of your day any better?

[00:13:14]>> Now I'm simply just another loser. It's a billion of students.

[00:13:18]>> Did you book a session with Joe?

[00:13:19]>> Who's Joe?

[00:13:20]>> School counselor.

[00:13:21]>> I tried.

[00:13:24]But yesterday was the Victoria Secret fashion show, so half of year 9 was already booked in.

[00:13:29]It's fine.

[00:13:31]I'm sure Oxford offer a few special loser places each year.

[00:13:35]>> Oh, [ __ ] Oxford.

[00:13:37]>> She didn't mean that.

[00:13:40]>> I I just mean that um we're all really proud of you. You know, you're our head girl.

[00:13:53]Thanks guys. Feeling rather elated.

[00:13:56]>> A no touching.

[00:14:00]>> Want to go for some ice cream?

[00:14:02]>> Yes.

[00:14:03]>> No.

[00:14:04]Yeah, please.

[00:14:06]>> Hot chocolate it is.

[00:14:07]>> Okay.

[00:14:12]>> Okay.

[00:14:14]Do that. OH NO. COMING. COMING. Come on.

[00:14:17]Come on. Get up. Go. Go. Get up.

[00:14:23]>> Okay.

[00:14:52]Pen avdan Mary Joseph seven >> four zero 12 >> liar.

[00:15:12]>> WHAT?

[00:15:12]>> THERE IS NO WAY 12 people have had sex with you.

[00:15:17]>> I thought we meant like kisses.

[00:15:19]>> Okay, fine. But stage kisses don't count.

[00:15:22]>> Fine then. Four.

[00:15:23]>> Family doesn't count either.

[00:15:25]>> Okay, one.

[00:15:28]>> Neither does your dog.

[00:15:54]What are you doing?

[00:15:55]>> Having a morning swim.

[00:15:56]>> Oh, can I join?

[00:15:58]>> Willow. Smoking kills accessible on the posters.

[00:16:02]>> You just believe everything you read on these posters.

[00:16:05]>> Yes, I believe in science.

[00:16:07]>> Well, maybe you shouldn't believe such an empirically valuable source. Willow, what is wrong? You haven't been this upset since the day you found out Natasha Leon isn't actually gay.

[00:16:19]>> I've just I've come to the realization that I'm just not as smart as you guys.

[00:16:23]So, it's time I fulfill my potential as the group delinquents.

[00:16:30]She's not.

[00:16:33]>> Thank you everybody.

[00:16:35]Please feel free to stay standing.

[00:16:39]Now, unfortunately, Miss Jim will not be returning to us at the end of TERM DUE TO ILLNESS. PAUL WOULD a bit of anxiety.

[00:16:46]Will we talk by a new trainee, Mr. Long?

[00:16:50]>> Morning, girls. So, sorry I'm late. I saw a dead bird in the road and had to move the poor thing to safety.

[00:16:57]Right, let's get started.

[00:17:10]You need a ticket. You can't just lick it.

[00:17:13]You need a ticket. You can't just the Ukrainian famine.

[00:17:38]I want Mr. Long. It's imperative he's my first kiss.

[00:17:42]>> Okay. And I want a pony.

[00:17:44]>> B. You have a pony. Misty was your 10th birthday present.

[00:17:47]>> Girl, if you want to kiss him, kiss him because you got chips.

[00:17:53]>> No more grease.

[00:17:55]>> First kisses. Carmen. First kisses should always be with an absolute [ __ ] right? The black sheep of the family, a a caterpillar that never becomes a butterfly, a sewer RAT OR OR A HORSE, someone who was just facially challenged. Does that make sense?

[00:18:13]>> I have never understood something less.

[00:18:16]>> I totally understand. I mean, my first kiss was sweaty Sophia. Gross, I know.

[00:18:22]And Willow's first case was >> Do not mention that witch. See, >> I didn't know you liked girls.

[00:18:28]>> It's an all girls school. It's practically a lesbian training camp.

[00:18:31]>> Oh, so are you lesbian or bisexual? You say bisexual.

[00:18:34]>> I transcend those human boxes.

[00:18:38]>> I want Mr. Long. It's imperative he's my first.

[00:18:42]>> Do you think they call him Mr. Long because he's got a massive >> We know torso. Ew, Kian.

[00:18:49]>> Okay. Right. I know I'm the only actual guy here, but I never get to give advice without you guys shutting me down.

[00:18:55]>> You're so right. Spread your wisdom, queen.

[00:18:58]>> Thanks. Okay. Well, I think today we'll focus on the state of the Russian economy.

[00:19:03]>> That's the sexiest part.

[00:19:05]>> Who can tell me?

[00:19:07]Oh, okay. Uh, what caused the fluctuations in the Russian economy?

[00:19:12]>> I would fluctuate him after he gave enthusiastic consent. Of course that but at the same time >> consent was not the issue with that statement >> earlier on.

[00:19:22]>> Do you like short guys?

[00:19:22]>> No, I like >> Yeah, that sounds good.

[00:19:29]>> Oh, sorry.

[00:19:30]>> Sorry.

[00:19:31]>> Oh, sorry. Going that way.

[00:19:33]>> Excuse me.

[00:19:38]>> Carmen, you're not blinking.

[00:19:42]>> You okay?

[00:19:48]Dear Mr. Long, if I were being forward, I would call you mine.

[00:19:55]>> I wrote that bit.

[00:19:56]>> I find myself wanting to climb you as if you were a tree. And I >> come in. I don't think >> she's >> once at the peak. I would place my face closer to your face like a bird returning to the nest.

[00:20:19]Carmen, that was very um expressive and I'm flattered, but uh you're a bit young for me.

[00:20:28]>> Precisely.

[00:20:30]Young girls are what your people seem to like.

[00:20:32]>> My people?

[00:20:34]>> Catholics.

[00:20:36]You don't need to worry. I'm open to your exploitation.

[00:20:58]Is this really necessary?

[00:20:59]>> Absolutely. The bees have stung you.

[00:21:02]>> Bees? Where?

[00:21:03]>> Although the sting theory has no scientific proof, I believe in it entirely. Once you get that first bee, you've been stung. And the string One B, two B's, THREE B'S.

[00:21:13]>> COME WHERE?

[00:21:14]>> I need to break the cycle. I'll do anything. Just please help me.

[00:21:19]>> I cannot risk infection.

[00:21:21]>> Fine, fine, fine, fine.

[00:21:27]>> Distraction.

[00:21:31]>> Spare the rod. Spoil the child.

[00:21:43]No more soccer attempts for 99 anymore.

[00:21:47]>> We'll study harder next time. Your life isn't over. It's okay.

[00:21:53]>> How did you do that?

[00:21:55]>> Do what?

[00:21:56]>> I feel calm. I feel like everything's actually going to be okay. I feel like I can forgive my mother. All that matters is that you feel better because we care about you, right?

[00:22:12]Do >> you know any better?

[00:22:14]>> Yeah.

[00:22:46]Oh my god.

[00:23:06]Okay. OKAY.

[00:23:17]>> This morning we will be having our annual offstead inspection starting with our year 12 history class.

[00:23:27]>> When is still speaking? Stop that. I'll have to meet you in 15 minutes because I'm helping rebuild an orphanage.

[00:23:35]Oh, sorry. Did that sound like I was better than you all? It's because I am made a slight boo boo.

[00:23:48]>> I didn't want to say anything, but that raid makes you look a bit creepy.

[00:23:53]>> Don't freak when I did you not tell me.

[00:23:54]>> Promise you I do not want to know.

[00:23:57]I stole today's history test to buy myself more revision time because I COULDN'T STAND THE THOUGHT OF GETTING ANOTHER BE.

[00:24:06]Are you okay?

[00:24:08]Carmen, I am okay.

[00:24:22]I am freaking out. I am not okay. A bad aura. Such a bad aura.

[00:24:30]>> No, this is Willow's mistake. WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN MR. LONG opened the folder AND SAW THE DESK WERE GONE?

[00:24:37]>> WELL, THE FOLD IS NOT EMPTY by the sketches of a leprechaorn.

[00:24:42]>> DEATH IS A CRIMINAL EVENT. DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO CRIMINALS?

[00:24:46]>> YES. AND I haven't had time to practice THE ART OF SCISSORING YET.

[00:24:51]>> OH, I CAN'T THINK. I CAN'T PICK. I CAN'T.

[00:24:58]>> The weather is lovely today. My cat died this morning.

[00:25:01]>> Oh. Um, I'm so sorry. Nothing around at the shooting range couldn't solve.

[00:25:11]>> This is all MY FAULT. GET IT.

[00:25:14]>> WE CAN FIX THIS. EVERYONE, calm down.

[00:25:20]Let's rip it. Yeah, let's rip everything. all of the papers in all of the folders and then Mr. Long will think the tests got ripped up too. We'll say some year sevens did it.

[00:25:29]>> That doesn't make any sense.

[00:25:31]>> Fine then dogs.

[00:25:35]>> Genius.

[00:25:37]Okay, people. RIP rip rip.

[00:25:43]>> No, I don't think your son chose emancipation because of your ketamine problem.

[00:25:48]>> You really think?

[00:25:49]>> Yeah, I reckon it was the fourth trip to rehab. Oh, probably.

[00:26:04]>> It needs to look doglike.

[00:26:11]>> It's just DOWN THE HALL.

[00:26:14]>> GRAB THE BAGS AND GO, PEOPLE. I REPEAT, GRAB THE BAGS AND GO.

[00:26:26]I SHOULDN'T even really be around children. Not really sure how I got this job, but I am good at it. Don't you think? I mean, the school is lovely.

[00:26:35]You're lovely. Would you like some ketamine? Wait, wait, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, hold on.

[00:26:41]Hello.

[00:26:43]>> Willow's third friend. You should be in history. The bell's rung. Oh, we just need two minutes. Maybe maybe three minutes of your time.

[00:26:51]>> This is the very important offset inspector and we need to see Mr. >> 7.

[00:27:12]My ex-husband used to sing like that before his accident where they chopped off one of his balls. As much as I enjoy amateur theater, which not even sure I can call it that, we have TO SEE MR. LORD.

[00:27:23]>> WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, NO.

[00:27:27][ __ ] SORRY.

[00:27:29]SORRY, LORD. WILLOW, explain now.

[00:27:32]>> Oh, well, there were. And then, you know, and it came with, so it's with you. See, >> Grenaline, this is not >> a pack of large, vicious, VERY REAL DOGS SUDDENLY RAN INTO THE ROOM. We fought them off as much as we could, but it seems like they got really hungry, so they started um hunting for food and and ripping everything to spreads.

[00:27:56]>> How did the dogs get in?

[00:27:58]>> Through the window.

[00:28:01]>> Those windows have been bolted shut since the Amy Rogers incident of 2019.

[00:28:06]And I know you know that, Kian.

[00:28:11]>> Through the window.

[00:28:15]Well, I believe you completely. I feel calm.

[00:28:19]I feel assured and and warm.

[00:28:23]I feel like forgiving my son.

[00:28:36]Thank you so much for today, guys. I promise to never steal anything ever ever again. We'll accept these.

[00:28:45]>> Another criminal offense. I refuse to participate in the drowning of your sorrows.

[00:28:50]>> This is a celebration.

[00:28:54]>> You're officially undone. No more bees.

[00:28:57]>> Bees.

[00:29:07]Faster.

[00:29:09]Faster.

[00:29:11]Faster.

[00:29:18]Breathe in.

[00:29:23]Breathe out.

[00:29:26]Tomorrow UKcast results come out. But we remain calm.

[00:29:36]If we fail, we book a trip to Thailand and find ourselves.

[00:29:43]I despise these humid climates.

[00:29:46]>> I think I just will be there little.

[00:29:54]>> Hi. Look, I saw you the other day and I >> No distractions.

[00:30:06]All is well.

[00:30:10]This is a safe space.

[00:30:17]>> When I was nine, I had a wet dream about my cousin.

[00:30:22]>> All is well.

[00:30:27]I will never learn how to love romantically because of my mother's emotional neglect and my father's physical absence.

[00:30:36]>> All is well.

[00:30:39]>> We are safe.

[00:30:41]We are warm.

[00:30:44]We >> We're under attack.

[00:31:06]guys. It's just so crazy. EVERYBODY'S NAME IS WRITTEN DOWN. MY NAME, YOUR NAME.

[00:31:10]>> You better be quick because Keem does many.

[00:31:12]>> Don't say our land.

[00:31:14]>> What is this?

[00:31:15]>> The school can't effectively stop us from spreading [ __ ] rumors about each other. So, they encourage us to write it on this. and I quote, "Bitchboard."

[00:31:22]>> Kian Edwards has the ugliest smile I've ever seen in my life.

[00:31:26]>> Well, that's just slander because it's it's not true.

[00:31:32]>> Doesn't have to be true. Just has to hurt you. That's the power of a woman scorned.

[00:31:37]>> Hip down, Jane Austin. Let's see this.

[00:31:40]>> Willow Moyo has a crush on Gwen, but Gwen's out of her league.

[00:31:45]>> Oh, seems like some of them are true.

[00:31:47]Calming was made in a lab.

[00:31:49]Yes, in my dreams I do live in a lab.

[00:31:52]>> [ __ ] I riches for spotting loting lips with a certain Irish history teacher.

[00:31:58]>> This was never a safe. IT'S A LIE. CAR kiss when you lie.

[00:32:03]>> Ladies, lock in. We have bigger fish to fry. Who would spread such hateful rumors? Who would try to tear a GROUP OF YOUNG WOMEN DOWN AT a school filled WITH WOMEN THEMSELVES?

[00:32:17]women themselves.

[00:32:20]Well, that's not Lotty. So, that's the hockey team crossed off cuz they are just too busy sleeping with each other.

[00:32:29]Cross off the net team. Same reason.

[00:32:37]That leaves us with Megan, Gwen, and Charlie. It could be any of them.

[00:32:43]If we apply Okam's razor, the simplest answer is usually the correct one. And seeing as Gwen's name was mentioned in Willow's note, she's most likely behind our smear campaign.

[00:32:53]>> Be's right. It must be Gwen. That slimy stunning [ __ ] >> That nasty lying.

[00:33:01]>> May can't say the B word.

[00:33:04]>> But I just >> No, >> [ __ ] SO, you confessed to your [ __ ] board crimes?

[00:33:15]>> You have been sitting in silence for 32 minutes. I have said nothing. And quite frankly, >> she's going to freak me out.

[00:33:22]>> Don't have a single paw.

[00:33:24]>> Don't make me get angry with you, Missy.

[00:33:26]We'll sit here until you confess.

[00:33:29]>> You can't do that as we have French in 6 minutes. But I'm getting bored, so I'll comply.

[00:33:34]>> I think I'm in love.

[00:33:37]>> It was me. I spread the rumors.

[00:33:40]>> Aren't you a Christian?

[00:33:41]>> I mainly follow the Old Testament.

[00:33:44]>> No, but but why? Why bother attacking us?

[00:33:47]>> The moon was in retrograde. I >> We misbehave in retrograde.

[00:33:53]>> No, no, it it still doesn't make any sense. Why' you go for us? How on earth did you know about Bee and Mr. Long?

[00:34:01]>> We know >> betrayal. Then why IF YOU ARE SO ABOVE US would you waste your time ON BEING SUCH A RAGING PETTY [ __ ] She's leaking.

[00:34:27]It just gets so tiring having so many mindless admirers.

[00:34:32]was begging for my attention.

[00:34:34]>> Feeling a lot less sympathy.

[00:34:36]>> I mean, have you seen my eyelids?

[00:34:38]>> They are breathtaking.

[00:34:39]>> I get straight A's. I play center in net pool. I transitioned my anorexia to bulimia to keep my mother happy by eating a family function.

[00:34:49]I head girl without giving a speech. And I keep my entire body whack.

[00:34:57]Yes, even throughout the winter months.

[00:35:04]It had to be a cry for help, a breakdown. I mean, eyes duped so low, I asked Ricky Freya for help stealing your diaries.

[00:35:20]Hey girls, I've missed you.