Go With The Flow, Raising Close Kids, A Grateful Heart | EP 17

Added: 2026-05-05

[00:00:00]Welcome back to Ryell's Van Talk with Stormmy.

[00:00:03]>> Hello. Hello, >> you guys. Every time we get in the car.

[00:00:07]I have an audio book playing.

[00:00:09]>> Yes. No, it's not fun.

[00:00:11]>> I don't know why it auto plays, but it's like I'm relisting. Well, I've never listened to it before, but I've read all of them, but I'm listening to Acatar right now. I'm on the second book, >> you guys. No. And then all of a sudden, >> just starts talking. I'm like, "Pause, pause, mute, mute." No, she's trying so quickly to try to get her phone to turn off and I'm like, "What is this heavy breathing?"

[00:00:31]>> Mom's like, "Please."

[00:00:33]>> Yeah. I'm like, >> it's like his hand touched my face. And when it's like >> I'm like, "Who has time for that?"

[00:00:40]>> It's called multitasking.

[00:00:42]>> That's why in the future after you guys after your kids are raised, you and Capron are going to be a great pair.

[00:00:48]>> Oh, for sure. I've already said video games and you're going to read your book.

[00:00:52]>> We're going to be set. I'm going to do a whole room. It's going to be just like a fantasy world. So, it's going to be like a half video game console station and then the other side is just like books floor to ceiling all around the whole room. There's going to be dragons in there. It's going to be like >> No. And then when you drive, he'll have his earphones on and you'll have your books.

[00:01:11]>> Yeah. So, it works out.

[00:01:12]>> And I'm not going to be in the car.

[00:01:14]>> I was like, I'm never driving with you guys again. Oh my stars.

[00:01:18]>> I want to drive and chat it up.

[00:01:20]>> I do too. and have such a good time and laugh and sing.

[00:01:23]>> That's why I'm glad you're my driver.

[00:01:25]>> Yeah, that's right. But in the future when they're doing that, >> I might have to get me a book.

[00:01:31]>> Yeah, >> actually, I'll just look at my own photos.

[00:01:34]>> You'll be like scrapbooking.

[00:01:36]>> I just look at my own photos.

[00:01:37]>> Exactly.

[00:01:38]>> I love it.

[00:01:38]>> All righty. We have lovely questions from you today that we screenshotted.

[00:01:43]>> I put them in my I took Yeah. So, they're in my >> So, these ones are from I take them from Spotify and YouTube. cuz I think someone was asking, they're like, "Where do we put the questions?" But yeah, so I screenshotted some. Okay. Love, love, love this podcast. Out of curiosity, who do you two think Ryel's kids resemble in the family? Both physical and personality traits. I'm pretty sure they're all Ryland. Straight up.

[00:02:05]Personalitywise, they're all Ryland. And maybe it's just because he's such a fiery person and he's he's a double fire, but all my kids are fiery. Storm actually, he is a Virgo, so he's Earth, but he still is a spunky little guy.

[00:02:21]>> Um, so personalitywise, they all are like island, but Storm's a little bit like Rocky.

[00:02:27]>> Yes. And I would say Sweetie's a lot like mom.

[00:02:29]>> Yes. Like me.

[00:02:30]>> Very, you know, strong willed.

[00:02:32]>> Stubborn.

[00:02:33]>> Yep. And amazing.

[00:02:35]>> Yes.

[00:02:36]>> And funny. Brings the fun. Makes everybody laugh.

[00:02:39]>> Yeah, she brings the fun. Yep. She does.

[00:02:41]She's so funny.

[00:02:42]>> Super is a lot like Ryland. A lot like Capron. a lot like Capron.

[00:02:45]>> Sugar is maybe like me like right now. I don't know. She's still little obviously, but she's also spunky. It's so funny cuz Super was so fiery and I'm like, "Oh gosh, okay, sweetie maybe will be calm." And then Sweetie's just like crazy Leo fire as well. And I'm like, "Okay, Storm's going to be my calm one."

[00:03:02]And then Storm was like calm. And then one DAY HE'S JUST LIKE, and he's crazy, too. And I'm like, "Okay, we're keeping Sugar really calm." And now she's already fiery as well. I'm like, "They're all spicy." It's because the more they know. Sugar like knows. She knows that what they have she wants. And she tries to grab it and then she books it. Like she already knows.

[00:03:22]>> She's like, "They have a toy. I want it.

[00:03:24]Give it to me now." And >> if you're eating, if you're eating, she's like, you know, she wants what you're eating. She wants everything. So cute.

[00:03:31]>> It's so cute. And she's at the phase like she can't speak yet. So there's a lot of screaming. So she I'm trying to really teach her to sign right now. She finally is saying more and please. It's so cute. And I'm trying to get her to be like all done. But she'll literally like like all the >> cuz Super signed so good.

[00:03:50]>> He did. He could sign so well. He I could teach him a sign a day and he just knew it.

[00:03:55]>> Yes.

[00:03:56]>> In in an instant. It was very impressive.

[00:03:58]>> Storm is so cute because he'll just come and sit on my lap. He'll sit right next to me.

[00:04:02]>> He Rocky was very much like Rocky. Yeah.

[00:04:05]And then looks wise, I mean, they all are very um strong Lynch jeans for sure.

[00:04:10]I feel like as the boys get older, they're starting to look more like Capron. Like Super definitely is looking a lot like Capron. They had such light hair and curls, so it was really like they looked a lot like Ross, I feel like. And actually, Super looked like Ryland straight up. He was like a red head. Isn't that crazy?

[00:04:28]>> He was little when he had that.

[00:04:29]>> He was so pale and had a strawberry blonde hair and we were like, "Wow, you are a clone of Ryland and your personality is Ryland." So yeah, that's my spicy bunch.

[00:04:40]>> And they're all they all are talented like >> very naturally >> talented. Yeah. And that I think that's from Mark Lynch and Capron.

[00:04:47]>> Mhm. They're like very athletic and >> athletic.

[00:04:50]>> Have air awareness as Capron lifestyle.

[00:04:53]>> I'm like, "What are you doing?" He's like practicing my air awareness. I'm like, "Okay."

[00:04:58]>> As he's diving off the roof of my house, I'm like, "Okay."

[00:05:01]>> Right. Like they're like naturally sporty. I have a question on how you would manage older teens who are struggling getting along especially as each of them begins to get into new relationships which leads to less time together.

[00:05:14]>> I'm telling you as series. Yeah, she kind of touched on that back together.

[00:05:18]I'm not even kidding you with teenagers.

[00:05:20]And you have to start something kind of like nowadays. Gosh, what would it be?

[00:05:24]You have to get it kind of like where it's like they shouldn't be watching it but they can with you, >> right? Like Vampire Diaries was a tiny bit like ooh or Alias, >> but those are like those are nothing now.

[00:05:36]>> Nowadays, dude, nowadays like 13-year-olds are watching like Euphoria.

[00:05:40]>> Yeah, I would I wouldn't even recommend that.

[00:05:42]>> I've never watched that. I've just heard about it and I'm like, I don't need to watch that. My cup of tea.

[00:05:47]>> I think I would I would really be like, okay, what's their personality and what do they really like? And then I would try to do a series. I would start it >> something that's very bingeworthy and I would order either make their favorite listen to me. Us moms have have to have a plan. So I would plan it out. I would say okay what's their favorite thing to have their favorite food I whatever it is that's what I would bring in. I would either make it or I would bring it in.

[00:06:13]I'd make the favorite dessert. I would make um popcorn. I >> popcorn surprise. Like you're just hostess with the most >> full full out everything.

[00:06:23]>> But I'm telling you, you know, back in the like we did Battlestar Galactica so good. We did a we did Friday Night Lights.

[00:06:30]>> Oh, that one's a good one. I think >> Vampire Diaries. But the thing >> depending on their ages, >> but like you might be doing Gossip Girl.

[00:06:37]>> It depends. Like I don't know. Like you might not be able to get boys to watch that. Like if you have boys and girls, Ryland watched Gossip Girl with his mom and I once like he was fine with it. All the boys watched Vampire.

[00:06:48]>> All the boys like romance.

[00:06:50]>> But CW does a good job of that where I feel like >> we watched Rain Paul Dark. We love a lot of um what's it called? Like 1800s.

[00:06:59]>> Yes. Yes. So if that I would try to Oh, I would do Yellowstone. I would try to pick something that's like oh it's a tiny bit like ooh we shouldn't be watching this but it keeps Yeah. And it has to keep interest. You have to be like you guys can you believe that happened. You just have to be smart with starting it so that it's a success. The other thing I would do is I would always be cooking keeps everybody coming around. It just does. Food keeps everybody coming around. I think it does 100%.

[00:07:24]>> And I was always doing breakfast cuz it's the easiest thing to have on hand and it really doesn't go bad.

[00:07:31]>> And so, you know, if kids were in my um kitchen at 10:00 at night, I was whipping up omelets. I was whipping up um pancakes.

[00:07:40]I had potatoes always, you know, doing the potatoes, French toast, pancakes, blueberry muffins. You have to I'm not kidding.

[00:07:48]>> Plus, they're teenagers. I feel like they're always hungry.

[00:07:50]>> The boys are like, "I'm coming over."

[00:07:51]I'm like making the blueberry muffins cuz I want I want my house when they come in to be like, "Oh, this smells so good. What are you making?"

[00:07:58]>> She'll tell me all the time. She'll be like, "Oh, Ross is on his way to my house. I got to go make banana bread."

[00:08:01]And she'll like run and whip something up.

[00:08:03]>> Yeah. And right now it'll be like somebody's coming over. I go, "You need something in the oven, girlfriend." She does. She's something in the oven. What are you doing?

[00:08:10]>> I was having a game night and I literally totally forgot about it. And mom's like, "Here." And she whips up a fruit dip for me real quick and I'm like, "Good thing I got." I forgot about it. And I'm like, and >> I'm like, how do you remember everything? Like, I already am remembering a million things, but I feel like you're even a step up.

[00:08:27]>> But I'm like, Ryell, you can't you have to have some stuff. And I would be having something in the oven where they come and they're like, Rael, what are you making? Like, it seems so, oh my stars, I can't believe you did all that.

[00:08:37]But really, if you get really fast at everything, it's five minutes, >> right? You can >> you can throw it all together. The other thing with your teenagers, I'd be like, who wants Taco Bell? Like you have to be on you have to be going with what you can't be like, "Oh, I'm not eating Taco Bell. No, I'm eating Taco Bell." You You have to be going with it. Who wants out?

[00:08:56]>> You kind of have to Once Once they're teenagers and you're the mom, you kind of have Are you Do you like go with the flow?

[00:09:02]>> Yes.

[00:09:02]>> Or like you whatever they want. It It kind of flips almost.

[00:09:06]>> I kind Well, I'm just like a bigger cheerleader than you are when they're little. And >> it's more just like Yes. Yes. Or what's it called? Um what's the movie? What's the movie? Yes, man. You're just like a yes man.

[00:09:18]>> Like if the kids are like, "Mom, let's go to the movies." You're just like, "Yes, >> let's do it."

[00:09:22]>> Yes. I'm Oh, and if there's a good movie, I I would book. Listen to me. The amount of money I know that nobody has cuz I didn't have it either. I would still do it. I'd be like, I'm going to the movie. I'm taking everybody. I don't care. I'm going to figure out how to pay for it next week, >> right?

[00:09:37]>> Because I'm keeping my crew together.

[00:09:39]I'm keeping my crew together.

[00:09:40]>> So, you're just like, I booked a movie.

[00:09:42]We're all going today at 4:00 and we're just like, "Okay."

[00:09:44]>> And I'd be like, "Oh, is do you guys, you know, does so and so want to come?"

[00:09:48]I would always they could join us. You know what I'm in teenage years? They could join us. But the thing is, when you start watching a series, nobody wants to join you. You're you're in the middle of a series. They don't even care. When you're in a series, they're like, they don't care. They want to come. They want to watch the series. You have something to talk about. I promise.

[00:10:07]Just try it. Try it.

[00:10:08]>> That's fun.

[00:10:08]>> Yes. If your kid wants to wear a crazy outfit or bring something they will get bullied for to school, what do you do as the parent?

[00:10:15]>> I I don't know. I think >> I remember I wore the cutest the the two three years I did go to school, I always dressed so freaking cute, but at that point I already was how old was I? 10, 11, 12, 10, 10 maybe. I already was so sure of myself.

[00:10:34]>> At Monasuri and then at DSA, remember I have a picture of it cuz I was setting up my locker. I had like pink thigh high socks on, a plaid skirt, and like a button-up pink head to toe, pink like kind of heels, I think.

[00:10:45]>> Yes.

[00:10:46]>> And I feel like people said stuff to me, but it didn't even matter cuz at that point, I already was so confident in myself. It just got >> You're hoping that you've already got them who they are by the time, you know, obviously it kids are mean, and kids can be so mean. That's why I I don't want them with other kids at that time in their life. I just would rather not have them around other kids to be so that people are mean to them. I would have Well, at the time when skinny jeans were in fashion, I pretty much wanted to hide everybody's skinny jeans. I'm not going to lie. Then they'd be like, "Mom, do you know where my skinny jeans are?" I'm like, "Haven't seen them.

[00:11:24]>> I don't I don't know where they are." I mean, I'm telling you something that you just >> like subtly help us out, but without saying anything.

[00:11:30]>> I think you want to subt Yes. I want you to I think you need to help them out with be like >> but not not be upfront about it because you don't want to implant the >> no now if we see them we laugh like like crazy we all laugh and it's hilarious but I'm just saying if there's something like that I just think >> fashion wise >> you just have to f to me any fashion is cute if you it doesn't matter if you are standing up tall and you have a posture and you're whatever you have on. You're all about it's going to look good. It's going to look good. In fact, if I was ever questioning something, I would put it on Ross and I was like, "Oh, it looks good."

[00:12:11]>> Well, Ross could wear a trash bag and he >> I'm telling you, I was like, I told you guys it was cute. No one believed me.

[00:12:16]Look at it on >> Oh, yeah. Like the other boys would be like, "I'm not wearing that." And she'll be like, "That's fine. I'll put it on Ross."

[00:12:21]>> I said, "Okay, I get it for Ross." And then they see Ross wearing it. They're like, "Wait a minute."

[00:12:25]>> Yeah. No. And then it would be like, "Oh, that's the new style." Okay. But no, it if you can pull it off, it's going to be great. So, as a parent, you kind of could I guess you could wait to see.

[00:12:35]>> So, what if it's like a younger What if they're talking about a younger kid wants to bring a certain toy or something? Then you just say, "Oh, like our toys stay at home."

[00:12:43]>> Yes. I think you're in control pretty much until they're teenagers. I just do.

[00:12:48]I think that you can be like, "Oh, you know, we're the lynches. This is what we do. We we don't wear that out of the house." What, however you want to say it. And then you have a standard of your house. And that can be also with clothing.

[00:12:59]>> Mhm.

[00:13:00]>> I I wouldn't let my kids choose what they're wearing >> for three, four, 5year-old, 6-year-old.

[00:13:05]I don't When you guys were older and we had our colors. Trust me, a lot of people I did nails on were like, "Do you really want to do that?" I don't know if that's good to dress your kids all the same, have them all in the same color. I liked the team effect it had on us.

[00:13:20]Like, we're all a team. People commented, "Oh, you guys look so cute.

[00:13:24]Every single picture I took looked like I needed to frame it, right?

[00:13:28]>> I just loved it. And then as you guys got older, we just had a color of the day and then they got to choose what they wore, right?

[00:13:34]>> So Ryland would we'd be like, "It's Ryland's day." So it' be red, Riker's Day, or >> whatever color we would pick.

[00:13:39]>> Yeah. And then at when you guys were little, that's what we did when you guys could pick what you want. Then when you got like older, >> teenagers, then we obviously just wear whatever.

[00:13:48]>> Wear what you want. But but in the days when we had the G's when the G's we had everybody could pick a color >> on their own and then we would wear it.

[00:13:55]It was fun.

[00:13:56]>> Love you Stormy. How do you stay so positive with discipline and the way you talk to your kids if you have a toddler who straight up does not listen does not take you seriously when you try to set the boundaries or rules. I feel like I was saying to Ryel all the time when she was little, you're the best listener.

[00:14:12]You're the best listener. And then I was like you're the best listener. You're the best. You just like try to keep the positive. Even though she wasn't listening, she wasn't doing anything I wanted her to do.

[00:14:21]>> Just keep going.

[00:14:22]>> You have to keep going with it because as soon as I say, "You're not listening.

[00:14:25]You're not listening." It then she doesn't. How can you listen? And with Sweetie, Sweetie's different cuz Sweetie thinks she's funny and she is funny. And so we have to try, we try to try not to laugh with her, >> right?

[00:14:36]>> And so it's like you're the best listener, but she's funny about it.

[00:14:39]She's like does these faces and she says things that are funny but I think you have to keep it positive. I think if you cannot keep it positive you have to again remove yourself or remove the child. I think if anytime >> like a reset like put them in their crib just kind of reset.

[00:14:57]>> You have to reset everybody.

[00:14:59]>> Yes. Everybody needs a reset. The mom everybody. It's hard cuz we're all busy.

[00:15:04]We're at a fast pace again. take a step back, breathe, and be like, "How important is this that we're going to do when everybody's out of control?"

[00:15:13]>> Right? What was the question?

[00:15:16]How do you stay positive when in your discipline? Like even if the toddler just straight up doesn't listen. So for me, it's like if they straight up are not listening, they have to go immediately to the car seat, the high chair, or the crib. Like a spot where it's just like you are in trouble essentially. I don't call it a timeout or anything. I'm just like, "Oh, shoot."

[00:15:36]And >> shucky darn.

[00:15:36]>> Shucky darn. Whoops.

[00:15:38]>> A lot of times I say to the thing that I say to Ryell is I say, "Ryell, why do you want them to ruin it for everybody?"

[00:15:44]>> Like, you have to remove them.

[00:15:46]Otherwise, the entire team is getting affected. So, you have to remove them right away. If they're not listening, if they're not conforming, if they're not, you have to be like, "Oh, Shucky." And if you if you do it right away, I've found that you keep positive. But if you let it go, let it go, let it go, then you're like, I was always reminding me. She's like, Rayel, the first time >> the first time they don't listen, I'm I have to do it. Which >> and her threatening repeating parenting.

[00:16:12]>> Exactly.

[00:16:12]>> I'm like, oh my stars.

[00:16:14]>> So then they know they can. Yeah. They But they know they can walk all over me if I just don't do it right away. It's like, oh, the fourth time they don't listen, then I take them to their high chair, they're like almost, you know what I mean? Yeah. It's nice to have obviously backup with me and she's like red first time and I'm like okay cuz we get tired though. I'm like I just sat down like I don't want to get up again >> and haul them up the stairs to their crib and break my back. I'm like I'm tired.

[00:16:43]>> But she's like first time let's go.

[00:16:45]>> Cuz if you if you do it the first time, this is how you are the first time. Oh shoot. Shucky darn. Where's my best boy?

[00:16:52]Where the funks? D and you're just like up the stairs. wherever you're going.

[00:16:57]>> If you do it the fifth time, you're like, I you're this animal.

[00:17:01]>> You're more mad. Yeah.

[00:17:02]>> No one can recognize you and you're like, you know, gez, >> right?

[00:17:06]>> So, you have to keep >> and then you then you guilt yourself cuz then you feel bad. I feel like as a parent and then you almost don't even end up disciplining cuz you feel bad how like you acted. You know what I mean?

[00:17:16]Most of it feel bad. I feel like most of it is how you feel bad about how you reacted >> to this sweet little baby or >> who's just learning >> who's just learning and and you love him so much and you're under a need you're under all this stress and pressure and you just want to be a good mom and if everybody listened you would be >> you would be the best mom ever. I just think keep having it fun. Just be having fun. It's all I can say. Have a bunny.

[00:17:45]>> Okay. I love the prepping thing, but I'm afraid that if I prep them for everything, I might raise adults that get very frustrated when something doesn't go as planned, and that the constant prepping will affect their ability to adapt and improvise. As an adult, I know how so many things are not the way we expected. To me, it was rough learning to have a plan, but not be attached to it, cuz things can change.

[00:18:04]And it took me a long time to make peace with the fact that changes aren't bad.

[00:18:07]What do y'all think? I love you. For me, I at the same time I'm doing all the prepping stuff, I constantly am also being like prepping for if something doesn't work.

[00:18:17]>> So, you say maybe next time.

[00:18:18]>> So, I'm like, oh, like what if we get to the restaurant and they don't have color? So, we just say, oh, maybe next time. And we go with the flow. So, I also am prepping for things to not go the right way. So, it's like double the work, but I constantly like, "Oh, we go with the flow. Oh, what if we get to dance today and it's just it's a different teacher?" We just go straight in. We say hi and we and we go with the flow and then maybe miss, you know, whoever will be back next week. No big deal. I Oh, sweetie says that all the time now. But I always am like, "No big deal." And Sweetie's like, "No big deal."

[00:18:49]>> And like I'll like drop food on the floor like or spill my whole water and she's just like, >> "No big deal, mom."

[00:18:56]>> So I'm like, "Okay, at least some of my stuff is working." But yeah, I'm like prepping the other way as well. So it's like it's crazy over here. But it does work cuz I do feel like they go with the flow pretty well because I'm constantly saying that >> lots of things happen.

[00:19:10]>> Mhm.

[00:19:10]>> The line is too long. You can't go. The movie's sold out. There's lots of things that happen, >> right?

[00:19:16]>> You know, um >> Oh, they don't have We go to like Chick-fil-A for breakfast. They don't have the fries yet. We're like, "Oh, they don't have them yet. No big deal.

[00:19:24]Maybe next time." Just >> the hot water's not working. It's cold now. You're like, "Oh, shaky darn. We can't have a bath." Yeah. Oh, we don't have ice in the freezer today, so we don't have ice in our water. No big deal.

[00:19:34]>> Yes, >> we still can drink it.

[00:19:36]>> Yes.

[00:19:36]>> So, I feel like that's a daily thing.

[00:19:38]>> It's not. It's a daily thing.

[00:19:39]>> Something goes wrong every day. So, you kind of always have to preach that.

[00:19:42]>> And the other thing I would say is if you can get your oldest in check and you can even with the last question we just answered, then it keeps everybody on that standard. And the other thing is if you have multiple children and you're letting one not come to the standard, then it brings everybody else down. So, same with same with prepping. If they see Sweetie say, "No big deal." Then Storm and Sugar go, "Oh, it's no big deal."

[00:20:03]>> "Oh, no big deal." They all kind of follow lead. Hey there. Love you guys.

[00:20:07]Question. What is your advice for people who have kiddos with a larger age gap? I have a 7-year-old bonus son and an almost one-year-old baby girl. And while I do want more closer in age, I still want these two to be best friends and for our family to be a teen. Any advice and tips? Whoever's the oldest, I would be like asking for help all the time, like, "Oh, can you get the blanket? Can you get the Can you help me with the bottle? I would keep them included in everything. The old >> seven though, like so how do you start into that? Like maybe he like helps more like oh let's cook brownies. You want to help me? Like more like stuff like that.

[00:20:39]>> Do you have to include them with the baby?

[00:20:40]>> Oh, right.

[00:20:41]>> I think I say now all the time, I need a hero.

[00:20:44]>> She does.

[00:20:45]>> So Super comes running and he's so I don't even have to say that now. And if something's wrong like like um Sugar today, she kind of tumbles and gets her face wet and Super runs with the towel.

[00:20:56]He Yeah. And I didn't ask him to get a towel. Mom didn't. He literally was just like, "Oh, she's wet. I better go get a towel." Like they start seeing it and doing it. Or like Super and Sweetie will play Legos next to each other. And Sweetie's like getting frustrated and Super literally just like, "I got you, sweetie." And he starts helping her.

[00:21:12]>> He starts helping her. Yes. If you try to instill that like they're needed, each one of them is needed in some way and wanted. I think needed and wanted.

[00:21:21]>> I I would just be saying positive things all the time. Oh my god. Yeah. You're the best. We missed you so much today.

[00:21:27]Tell us about your day. Why you're holding the baby and you know I would be like >> what things could they do together with the same >> how old is the younger one?

[00:21:35]>> Is she age?

[00:21:36]>> She's only one. Yeah. So it's almost like super and sugar of a little bit older boy.

[00:21:41]>> I would have a popsicle together, read books together. I would just do all that. The thing is the baby doesn't know a lot of things. So I would cater towards the seven-year-old, but I would have the seven-year-old wanting and needing the baby. So just always including the baby really >> and then the baby will >> the boys older.

[00:21:57]>> Yes. And so I would be like, "Oh, let's have a best friend night and let let's pick a movie and have the baby sitting all together, >> right?"

[00:22:04]>> You just always kind of even though it's really not happening, you kind of make it like it's happening. And then when you're tucking them in at night, I would just say things all the time like, "Oh, aren't you so happy you have a baby brother or baby sister and you did so great today getting that towel for sugar? M you're the best leader.

[00:22:22]>> Yes.

[00:22:23]>> Uh sugar looks up to you so much >> and that's that's at that's at night and then you're just instilling all that stuff.

[00:22:30]>> Yeah, >> it's great. Have a plan and then go for it.

[00:22:33]>> Hello and sending love from Ireland.

[00:22:35]Ooh, question. Would love to know if you have any functional or practical tips about creating your home in conjunction with your parenting style and with kids in mind, etc. Loving the podcast so much. looking for homes soon and would love to know if there's anything you guys look out for >> like like kid proof.

[00:22:51]>> So, for instance, I want living room kids. I don't want bedroom kids.

[00:22:56]>> So, like I have all my kids sharing a room. That pissed a lot of people off.

[00:23:02]>> They're just sleeping, you guys. Why?

[00:23:03]>> They're literally sleeping. My kids only read in their room and sleep. They I don't want them in their rooms. I don't want them each in their own room. They share a room on purpose so that they are best friends. They go to bed laughing together. They wake up laughing together. They are having a great time.

[00:23:20]>> Yes. It's a party. It's a sleepover party at night.

[00:23:23]>> Who wants a sleepover party every night?

[00:23:26]Every night we're all in there. We're all reading books. We're all laughing.

[00:23:29]Everyone gets rocked. We're listening to Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star on repeat, their sound machine or whatever.

[00:23:36]>> It's a great time. And so that's something that I did that way. I want them in the living room all together >> playing >> playing for me. Another thing is like well I we have a playroom downstairs so they're either all in there together or we're all in the living room together. I kind of have a couple stations as far as toys kind of go. And then for the longest time like for instance at the cabin mom wanted had all the toys out or whatever. But with my kids personalities like that just does not work because they they come in they just open everything destroy everything. Mom gets every single thing out. It doesn't even matter.

[00:24:10]>> And then they don't ever play with it.

[00:24:11]>> Yes.

[00:24:12]>> And so I started where I have every single toy like in a bin depending on the category. So they'll be like all the cars in a bin, all the magnets in a bin, all of the Mickey Mouse in a bin, all of the dinosaurs in a bin. Whatever the theme is, they're all in a bin. And we can bring in like one bin at a time, maybe two. And then they play with that.

[00:24:30]Then they actually sit and are together and are playing with that one thing for like an hour. And then they have to pick it up before we can get another bin out.

[00:24:38]So all the bins are like locked in the garage essentially.

[00:24:41]>> Yes.

[00:24:41]>> And I still obviously have like some things out all the time, but the things like with a lot of pieces or anything like that are not just out available to access at all times because otherwise they just mess it all up and don't actually ever play with it.

[00:24:53]>> I think that was a great idea. At my house, Super and Sweetie, they can get whatever they want. It's everything's out and but they have to pick it up, pick up their trails. Everybody knows they have to pick up their trails before they get into another trail. Mhm. And she's really good about that and she's on it. But at the cabin with the great room and all four of them, it just like didn't work. So finally she's like, "We're cleaning all these toys up." I'm like, "I told you."

[00:25:14]>> Yeah. I'm only bringing one thing out.

[00:25:16]>> Yeah. Because it's hard. Well, and for me at my house, like a lot sometimes I'm working while they're playing. So I'm not on them like how she's on them. I'm not like, "Pick up your trails." Like sometimes they just already have gotten another toy and I'm like, "Oh crap, on my computer like did it work away?"

[00:25:30]Right.

[00:25:30]>> So that's why also why I really had to separate the toys. And >> I think that's I think that's worked out great honestly.

[00:25:36]>> Oh yes, very much.

[00:25:37]>> I think everybody spicy.

[00:25:38]>> Everybody will like that. I think >> we don't have a TV in any room except for the living room. So like and I don't have a TV in our bedroom.

[00:25:46]>> I would not I would keep it like that.

[00:25:48]The movies bring you together. The TV brings you together. That needs to be like movie night. Brother's night. I called it brother's night. This is so fun. We didn't drink soda, but I was like, "Oh, this Friday we're having movie night. I'm getting root beer. I >> Yeah, it was like a special thing.

[00:26:02]>> Yes. Like I think making it like that, I want them to have root beer together, not with their friends at school. I want I want whatever is happening, I want it to be at the house >> and like come from you. Um Yeah. But that also works too like for me and Capron, like I don't want a TV in our room and we're just like in our bed like blah. I want us to only like sleep in our bed, read books or whatever, but and talk while we're going to sleep.

[00:26:22]Obviously, we have our phones, but need to try and work on that as well. A TV only in the living room. I love >> I mean we don't bring our phones at all in the bedroom.

[00:26:30]>> You and dad?

[00:26:30]>> Mm-m.

[00:26:31]>> Oh, that's nice. Does he turn off your Wi-Fi at night?

[00:26:33]>> No.

[00:26:34]>> Oh, >> that would be something Mark would do, but no.

[00:26:36]>> Yeah, I was going to say that's kind of a thing now.

[00:26:38]>> That is a good idea. Honestly, that's an excellent idea. That's what you should do.

[00:26:42]>> Yeah. Well, you're supposed to like It's bad for It's bad for us to be around Wi-Fi all the time.

[00:26:48]>> Oh, really?

[00:26:49]>> It's very bad. Yeah. A lot of people like a lot of people with really crunchy like smart homes, they you have just like a switch where they have set it up to where they just like turn a light switch off type thing and their Wi-Fi and everything goes off.

[00:27:00]>> That'd have to be so high up. You need a ladder.

[00:27:03]>> Yeah.

[00:27:04]>> I'm like, why isn't the Wi-Fi working?

[00:27:06]Like all the kids are like all day. But yeah, Riker does like Riker does that.

[00:27:10]He turns his Wi-Fi off or he'll turn his phone off fully.

[00:27:12]>> Right. Well, we don't even have it in the room though. But the Wi-Fi is on in the house, >> right? They're saying turn your Wi-Fi off. I'm telling you, ours might not come back on. I'm not kidding. It's like barely works.

[00:27:22]>> Yeah. Right. Trying to think of specifically that goes with parenting styles >> for the house.

[00:27:27]>> For the house.

[00:27:28]>> To me, you want it kid-friendly all the time.

[00:27:30]>> Mhm.

[00:27:31]>> Like everybody's like, "Oh, get a new couch, Mom." I'm like, "No, I don't want I want the kids jumping on it. I want to have popcorn. I don't want to worry about it."

[00:27:38]>> Right.

[00:27:39]>> I don't want stuff where I'm like, "Oh, nobody can sit down. Nobody can eat in here. Nobody can do anything." Oh, I love a onestory home.

[00:27:48]>> I love a ranch style. I love it.

[00:27:50]>> Ours is a twotory, which I still love, but like mom's is a ranch style, and I love that. I think that is really nice as far as parenting goes, cuz then for naps and stuff, you're not like on top of each other.

[00:28:02]>> You're spread out.

[00:28:03]>> Yes.

[00:28:03]>> Uh so you don't ever really have to worry about someone waking up or anything. If I think of something else, I'll chime in. LA, love the podcast. What do you think is the best age gap between kids? Your first four are so close in age. Will you have a close gap with kid five and six?

[00:28:18]I have two that are 16 months apart and we want more. Well, I love my brothers and I's age gap and I love my kids age gap. So, I obviously am going to lean towards that because that's what I've experienced. Uh Super and Sweetie are 16 months. Sweetie and Storm are 13 months.

[00:28:33]So, they're the closest right now. And then that's Ross and Ross.

[00:28:35]>> Um Yeah, exactly. And then, uh Storm and Sugar are 16 months. So, I have 16 13 16. And then I I really did actually I thought I was going to go again like right away like bam bam. But we're not trying for another two right now. If when I'm going to say when cuz I'm putting it out in the universe. When we do have two more I will want them to go bam bam again so that they're close in age. Like I don't want to have one and then wait another like couple years and then have >> But you're going to you're going to I think your wish would be to be pregnant this year.

[00:29:08]>> Oh my that's not your sweetie.

[00:29:10]>> Well, no. My wish would have been to be pregnant in like December of last year, but we're not technically trying.

[00:29:16]>> Your health is the most important thing.

[00:29:17]>> Well, as some of you guys know, my tailbone's been bothering me since Storm's birth, and I kind of have just been like sucking it up, putting it off type thing. But I finally, I think this week, I'm getting a scan on it. So, we'll see if anything's actually >> I think if she's completely healthy, pregnant tomorrow.

[00:29:33]>> Yeah. Right. Um, but what do you think is the actual best age gap?

[00:29:36]>> I think the best age gap is as close as you can have them.

[00:29:39]>> So, 13 months. I like it because you're in you're already in the diapers. You're already in the bottles. You're already like I said, you will thank me later when you have teenagers and you're all at the movie cuz then you can't go.

[00:29:52]You're like, "Oh, I'm home with my 2-year-old. Sorry."

[00:29:54]>> Yeah, I do like that cuz right now I'm in the thick of it and then pretty soon I'm going to be out of it and then I'm like, "Oh god, we got to repeat it all."

[00:30:01]>> But you know, she couldn't be around because she had her younger kids, >> right? Like you you don't want to you want to be the older kids are the ones that Oh, Rocky's FaceTiming me. Let me see. Hey, son.

[00:30:14]>> I was going to text you then. I was like, I'll just FaceTime you. But I definitely Um >> Okay, I'll do it.

[00:30:19]>> Hey, say hi to the podcast.

[00:30:21]>> Yeah. Can you hear me? I was trying to keep a DL.

[00:30:23]>> That's cuz you handled it so well.

[00:30:25]>> No, you handled it so well, Rocky.

[00:30:26]You're just like, wait, I don't think I sent you that video. I said, "Super, who's your best friend?" He said, "Rocky."

[00:30:32]>> Definitely. I need that. I'm going to post on my Instagram. All right. I love you so much. Thanks for calling me.

[00:30:37]>> Yeah, I love y'all. I'll I'll see you all tomorrow.

[00:30:39]>> Okay.

[00:30:39]>> Bye. Rocky and the FaceTiming is the funniest thing ever. He never calls ever. Only a FaceTime.

[00:30:45]>> No, he always FaceTimes me and it's I love it. It makes my whole day.

[00:30:49]>> Okay, next question. Right now, I'm in the 2-year-old and four-month-old stage.

[00:30:52]How do you navigate each kid's needs while in the infant phase? I want to so badly ensure each are getting the time and attention needed during the two totally dramatic phases. I feel like you guys make me a better mom. each listen just by sharing your experiences and notes. A >> what's the answer?

[00:31:07]>> She has a 2-year-old and a four-month-old.

[00:31:09]>> Okay. So, I really feel like I bring kids to the standard no matter what. And then I go, "Oh, shoot." He's like, I would be sometimes like, "Brian, act your age." And he'd be like, "Mom, I'm seven." I'm like, "Oh, yeah, you are seven." But the other day at yesterday at the beach, was it? It was yesterday.

[00:31:29]Wow. yesterday at the beach, whatever the kids want to go to the beach, they have to carry. Obviously, not the umbrella or stuff like that, but if they want like small toy, so Storm always picks a truck and then he picked a plane. So, the plane went in the truck.

[00:31:43]So, they carry it all the way to the beach and then we go pick up your trails and then they carry it back. And Storm, he is carrying it back and he he doesn't want to carry Well, the last time we went to the beach, Capron took his toy and carried it for him. And I was thinking to myself, "Hello, you're breaking the rules."

[00:32:00]>> Well, first of all, I can only have two hands. I can't carry everything. Plus, I have sugar in the wagon and the umbrella.

[00:32:06]>> We cannot carry everything.

[00:32:08]>> And they have to >> They have to help, which is the best when you have a large family. When you have a large family, it makes everybody help. Yeah.

[00:32:15]>> And helping them be self-sufficient.

[00:32:17]>> So, Storm has his truck and he wants me to carry it. And I'm like, "Oh, pick up your trails. You carry your truck. You carry your plane back to the car and have a video of it." Anyways, he's crying and we keep >> He's so He's being so stubborn.

[00:32:28]>> What did you say? You had a good line.

[00:32:30]You're like, "Either I can outstubber him or he'll outst me."

[00:32:34]>> We'll see who can be more stubborn, me or Storm, cuz that's really what it comes down to. And so it was so cute because it was like Ryell and and Sugar and Super and Sweetie here and I'm here and then Storm is clear back here on just won't walk >> on the beach. He won't walk. And I'm thinking he'll walk. He'll walk. Super runs back to try to get his truck to carry it for him, which is that's what I'm talking about. I need a hero. I never said that, but Super's thinking.

[00:33:02]>> It was so nice.

[00:33:03]>> It's unbelievable how I need a hero is working out, you guys, which I never did with my kids, but I'll I'll know the 10,000 hours here. Pretty soon I'll be able to tell you the study. Super runs back. Storm is so mad that he took his toy. So then he has to leave it. And then he runs back to Ryel.

[00:33:18]>> But Sub's just trying to help obviously.

[00:33:19]>> Yeah. And then we're like, "Come on, Storm. Come on." But he like doesn't want any of the kids to take it. He only wants me or mom to take it.

[00:33:25]>> She then is like, "Oh, I'll be the hero." She runs to try to get his truck.

[00:33:29]He's mad. Doesn't want want her to take it. Then she runs back. So then I'm just like, "Okay."

[00:33:33]>> We're like, "You guys are so nice.

[00:33:35]You're the bestest friends. Try to help Storm."

[00:33:38]>> Yeah. You were a hero. Oh my stars. Look at you go. And then I'm like, "Come on, Storm. Look at you carry your truck. I love your truck." You just try to say whatever. Anyways, he's carrying his truck to us. And what made him really kind of carry his truck is because another person was >> another guy was walking behind him.

[00:33:54]>> Behind him he was just like so then he's just like, "I'm coming. I'm coming." And he's he knows how to say, "Wait, wait."

[00:34:00]So we're waiting for him. We get to the um the crosswalk. So he's carried the whole beach. And then I do say, "Oh, Storm, do you need a little help today?

[00:34:09]You want Levy to help you?" And I carry it for him. As I'm getting that and then like last night I go to bed, I'm like, "He's two. He's 2 years old." Nobody would do that. They would be like carrying everything, carrying him on the shoulder, which >> well, we would start feeling bad because even I was like, "Mom, can you just go grab the truck, please?"

[00:34:28]>> But I'm already clear ahead. Oh, and I cut my foot open.

[00:34:31]>> Oh, yeah. I'm right. So, she's hobbling.

[00:34:33]>> So, I'm hobbling already. We're already at the >> end of the beach day. We only there an hour and a half, 2 hours at the most.

[00:34:38]We're like, "Oh my."

[00:34:39]>> I'm like, "I got to keep Sugar awake before she's tired and ready for her bottle."

[00:34:43]>> You know, you never let a child fall asleep for 5 minutes in the car.

[00:34:46]Absolutely not. I'm like, she's going to fall asleep in the wagon right now.

[00:34:49]Like, it's a whole spectacle.

[00:34:50]>> Yeah, but he did it. He did it. And he knows what's expected of him. That's what you do. So, >> Oh, keep going. But I want to >> That's what you do.

[00:34:59]>> Well, I was going to say, remember um the comment the girl was like, uh I think she was like either teacher here or therapist here when we were talking about um the working hard thing. She was like, the reason why the working hard is not working is because there's no actual expectation set. You're just saying work hard and then they do a somersault don't put their hands up and finish it. That's there. You're just like >> I love I love that comment. Thank you so much.

[00:35:25]>> Yes. I can't remember the exact one. Um but she she phrased it so well. I'll have to find it. But she was like um you're also then just praising them for like mediocre work essentially, right?

[00:35:35]>> Like you're just saying like, "Oh, good job working hard even though they didn't try for [ __ ] like in the class."

[00:35:42]>> Right? And so it's like you have to have an expectation and have it set your standard or whatever and then you you're praising you want to get them to that standard. So you're like good job doing it full out 100%. Like so our expectation is you have to do it 100%.

[00:35:57]We're not going to halfass it. We're doing it fully. We're completing 100%.

[00:36:01]>> He's finishing the other and he's finish it. He's going to finish caring. The other thing is when you go to lay him down you're rocking him whatever. That's when you say storm. Wow. But you were so strong walking through the beach carrying your truck. You love your truck, don't you?

[00:36:18]>> Like >> you carried it all by yourself. You're doing so good. La >> and you know where your truck is, right?

[00:36:24]You You put it You know where it is for tomorrow. Like and then they're thinking about Yeah, I do know where it is.

[00:36:29]>> So pretty much you just never shut up.

[00:36:31]>> No, I never I'm like exhausted from talking. Read me the question again.

[00:36:34]>> Um she's saying she is a 2-year-old and a fourmonth-old. I don't even think Wow, we got sidetracked big time. cuz you're saying how do you give both attention?

[00:36:42]>> So two and I think that that's kind of easy cuz you're sitting on the floor. I would recommend sitting on the floor >> and playing >> and playing with both of them.

[00:36:50]>> Like the fourmonth-old does their tummy time and watches you while you build blocks with the 2-year-old Lego.

[00:36:56]>> You're asking that 2-year-old, "Oh, can you hand mommy a diaper? Oh, can you hand me?" And then and then Oh, oh, and then >> let's get the bottle ready. Can you help me make the bottle or whatever? And then your fourmonth-old, you have to be like, "Oh, look. She's handing you a toy or he's handing you." You kind of like just you're inventing it as you're sitting there. You're like, "Oh."

[00:37:14]>> Or you're like, "Talk to the fourmonth-old and you're like about the sibling. You're like, "Oh my gosh, did you see what he just got for you? He just got your wife diaper. That's so nice."

[00:37:23]>> Yeah. He's building you a tower.

[00:37:24]>> So, you're like talking about the 2-year-old to the fourmonth old.

[00:37:27]>> Yeah. You let the baby knock the tower down with the feet. You just It's constant, you guys. It's constant. But I think if you're on the floor without your phone, you want your phone for pictures obviously and video, but if you're on the floor with your kids, I think it's better. Yeah. And you could be like, "Oh, everybody lay on their tummy. Oh, everybody lay on their back.

[00:37:44]Oh, everybody touch their nose. Oh, the baby can't touch their nose yet." It's just funny. You just make it funny, >> right? Constantly playing games and stuff.

[00:37:53]>> Yes, I think like that.

[00:37:54]>> Back to the working hard thing. Mom, we're like, "Okay, cool. We're never saying that again." cuz but ever since she stopped saying it maybe 2 weeks ago >> it's better >> and it's whenever we said that and it already is so much better.

[00:38:05]>> It's so it's so vague. It's just like oh good job working hard but like yeah what is the expectation?

[00:38:12]>> No, >> they're not hitting it but now they are >> way to finish it. No, the finishing. No, I want to finish. Yeah. I'm so excited.

[00:38:19]Let me tell you something. I'm so excited we flushed that down the toilet.

[00:38:22]Yes. Yes. Yes.

[00:38:23]>> I love photo books, too. who I've been making yearly photo books for the past 8 years with Mixbook. Love the homeschooling talk. I feel like homeschooling is the unpopular opinion in my circle, but it sounds so beneficial and I think it has to be the parents that make it or break it. If you homeschool and don't put your kids in any activities or play outside where they can meet other kids, then they probably won't be very social. How much time do you have to yourself to get your work done and sleep? Um, I pretty much I think if like I get 6 hours of sleep a night, I'm like that's solid. But I probably get on average 7 hours of sleep a night and then I maybe try to work like at least 3 hours a day, 4 hours a day. And if mom takes them like takes the two older kids, then I can work more. But I try to work like 2 hours at night, like when the kids go to sleep, like from, you know, 7:30 to 9:30 or 8 to 10. I try to like do edit as much as I can and then go to sleep. when I'm on a roll and I'm waking up at 5 every day, I try to work and edit, you know, like 5:30 to 6:30, an hour before Super wakes up and then I work in the afternoon during naps. And then like while they're in dance, uh if they're both like a really being well behaved and I can like glance at my phone, I'll try to work on my phone while they're in their activities. So that's helpful, too.

[00:39:35]>> I feel like you sleep.

[00:39:36]>> But I feel like with homeschooling, I feel like you stress about it as a mom as home. But I'm telling Rael all the time, it just it just comes. They learn.

[00:39:44]>> It works out. It works out. They learn as the day goes. They learn everything really amazingly. And you don't have to stress about it. You You would be shocked at how every day is learning.

[00:39:56]And you don't have to be like, "Oh my gosh, my child's not spelling Mississippi yet." It's like >> MI SI SI PBI.

[00:40:03]>> It just it it happens. Everything is so learning as you go every day. They learn every day. And it's really remarkable.

[00:40:11]the eight hours at school. You do not need that.

[00:40:14]>> Well, yeah. I think that I I forget the exact time, but pretty much like for a preschooler and or a kindergarter, they can learn everything that they need to learn like 30 minutes to an hour a day and that's it. Like they're done.

[00:40:27]>> Yeah. You don't have to stress about it.

[00:40:28]And they're going to be social. Trust me, if you're with your child talking, they're going to be social. Everybody's social. You go to the grocery store, there's no way a child's not going to be social if you're talking to your child.

[00:40:39]I just don't see that. parents and like family members.

[00:40:42]>> Yes. And family and extended family unless you're just at home with not saying anything, >> right? Hey ladies, thank you for sharing your experience with us. I have a question for you, Stormmy, directly from Sa Paulo, Brazil. When you say be the cheerleader for your kids and always having the positivity set up for them, how do you manage frustration? Because the real world is not easy and not positive all the time. So, how do you use or still manage the frustration when anything not planned or positive happens? And how do the kids react to frustrations? That kind of a similar question what we said earlier, but go ahead.

[00:41:13]>> Well, what I would what I would say if things were happening with the teacher or somebody instructing my children and they were kind of not on in a good light and kind of mean, I would always tell my kids, oh shoot, they maybe were having a bad day. You know, it's nothing reflected on the children. And so I think, you know, there is always frustration. There is always stuff that can come up. People are all sometimes in a bad mood. something happens in their life and they can take it out on you. If I'm reading a book, somebody's getting their feelings hurt in the book because a lot of books now are on feelings.

[00:41:45]Wouldn't you agree?

[00:41:46]>> Yes.

[00:41:47]>> And I'm like, "Are you kidding me right now?" And I'm like, "Oh, shoot." I go, "Who's in charge of making Lucy happy?"

[00:41:52]And they're like, "Lucy." And I said, "Oh, yeah. So, look at her over here just sitting by herself." I go, "What do you think Lucy could do?" And it's none of this is in the book. None of it is.

[00:42:01]And they're like, "She could go and and she could ask if they could play." And I go, "Oh, yeah. She could be like, "Oh, I can do that with you guys, but if Lucy just sits over here, no one's making Lucy happy and Lucy is not making herself happy." And then I say, "Oh, how can these guys have their hearts jumping out to Lucy?"

[00:42:16]>> And then they answer, "Do they answer?"

[00:42:18]>> They could go ask.

[00:42:19]>> They could ask her. They could say, "Lucy, you want to play with us?" Like, I change the whole story.

[00:42:24]>> They constantly are. You literally constantly are coaching and teaching.

[00:42:28]>> I'm I never turn off. Every second I'm like, "Oh."

[00:42:31]>> You don't I don't think you have it off, but >> No, because I'm like, "Oh, this Crazy.

[00:42:36]Honestly crazy.

[00:42:37]>> The book is like, "Oh, poor Lucy." D.

[00:42:41]And I'm like, "They're making Lucy as a victim. Poor Lucy. She's mad. She's like, >> she's sitting in a corner like moping."

[00:42:47]>> Yeah. And I'm like, "Whose fault is that's Lucy's fault?" I'm like, "Gather around, kids. Listen oneonone." I want good energy. Trust me, you can all have I can have a bad day. I can be like, "Oh, my stars. I can't believe that happened." But you can turn it around.

[00:43:02]Listen, I'm always like, "Wow, my shower works. I'm so excited because we've been on tour and we had no showers for a week and then I'm like, "This is so clean the bedding." Like, we had no clean bedding.

[00:43:16]So, I think if you've witnessed and experienced some of that stuff, you're just like >> so appreciative.

[00:43:21]>> So appreciative. Like literally pubic hairs on the sink and not washed. And we all are like calling and texting.

[00:43:29]>> You mean like in the venues or the hotel?

[00:43:30]>> No, in the hotel. And then we're like, you know, >> we've had some dank hotels.

[00:43:34]>> Yes. Yes. And so it's like time and time again that you're like, so the grateful thing, you pick three things that you're grateful every day, saying what you're grateful for.

[00:43:43]>> Mhm.

[00:43:43]>> I think that's important. And I think if you go out in the world and and just try to have good energy. What was the question?

[00:43:49]>> I'm like I'm just like here I go again.

[00:43:53]On topic, >> you know, I started reading the other question and I got the giggles. Um so I wasn't even listening to you.

[00:43:59]>> Oh my stars. No, you have to bring the energy no matter Listen, if >> Oh, she's just saying, "How do you always have positivity?" I think gas a grateful heart is a happy heart.

[00:44:09]>> Yes. A grateful heart. Like I'm like so glad that the car has gas in it cuz I will drive a car until it has zero gas and then I'll pull it to the driveway saying I need a hero.

[00:44:19]>> Mark Lynch.

[00:44:20]>> Yes.

[00:44:21]>> And then he goes and fills.

[00:44:22]>> So just be I'm so grateful the water tastes good. Like it's just different things, >> right? Like sometimes water does not taste good and if you can't drink water that's hard. I'm so grateful that my daughter lets me come over. Like how great is that?

[00:44:37]>> I'm so grateful my mommy comes over every day.

[00:44:42]>> It's just things like just lots of things. Lots lots of things. Just say what you're grateful for. And I think that that you're just lucky. We're all lucky. All of us are lucky. Find the good. Find what you're lucky for.

[00:44:55]>> Love it.

[00:44:55]>> Yeah.

[00:44:56]>> Okay. I desperately need Stormmy and Ryell advice. My brother has been dating a woman for three years. That my >> Oh, wait.

[00:45:03]>> Come on. I'm not going to say anything.

[00:45:05]Let me finish. That my fam and I both think they're just not a right match at all. It's so hard to sit back and be silent and not voice our opinion when they're so so >> Why are you laughing? She's like >> when they're so not a match. We're a pretty close family and in these three years, she's never asked what we think about her, which makes me thinking which makes me think he knows our answer. Advice on what to do allowing your family member to date someone that we all know isn't right for them but they can't see. Thanks. Love you both.

[00:45:37]This is my recommendation. Listen, as soon as you accept that they are dating and as soon as you accept that that's who it is >> and you like them, you you truly truly like them. Genuinely, you're like and you find >> genuinely accept them.

[00:45:55]>> You find the good in them, you see the good, you see the good. As soon as you do that, and if the person is not right for your brother, he will then call it off.

[00:46:05]>> He'll figure it out >> as soon as you like them. almost a rebellious stage. Even at teenagers, you cannot be like, "Oh, I don't like them."

[00:46:15]You have to be like, "Oh, I love them."

[00:46:17]And then hopefully they see, >> right?

[00:46:20]>> If your whatever your gut is saying as a mom or whatever, but you have to like them with your whole heart >> and accept them, >> see the good and then as soon as that happens, then they're not trying to prove to you guys that they're >> oh no, they're amaz. They try to prove and they're rebellious.

[00:46:37]>> Two things. So I would like them. I would invite them. I would >> Yeah. plan, hang out, do all the things.

[00:46:43]Do all the things. See what happens >> and let it be.

[00:46:47]>> Yes.

[00:46:48]>> Cuz obviously it is not up to you, which is hard.

[00:46:51]>> No, it's not up to you at all.

[00:46:52]>> We know that you have obviously the best intentions ever. And you know your brother probably better than anyone.

[00:47:00]>> But you have to be okay with who they choose to love.

[00:47:05]And as a mother, I don't know why she's laughing so much because >> this is funny because I'm the only sisters. I have four brothers. So, it's just funny.

[00:47:13]>> But listen to me. Whoever they love with their whole heart, yes, >> I am going to love.

[00:47:20]>> I am going to love whoever they love.

[00:47:23]And whatever they want to do, I'm going to be okay with. I'm going to love it.

[00:47:26]I'm going to love everything.

[00:47:28]>> Mhm.

[00:47:28]>> I'm telling you right now. And that's the way you go into it, >> right?

[00:47:32]>> That's the way you go into it. I promise >> it works. It works. I don't have the 10,000 hours in it, but I'm getting out there.

[00:47:39]>> Pretty soon she will. What do you say when your kids want to sleep in your bed and cry about it for hours at night? Is it different if they have siblings or not? Their age? Love you guys. Um >> I mean the best of that you have all your kids in the same room.

[00:47:50]>> Yeah, mine are all Yeah, mine are all together. So they never have I mean like maybe a handful of times they've asked to sleep in my bed, but I think I just kind of turn it around. I'm like, "Oh, you're having a sleepover with Super are in our spot." Super does end up in our bed like in the middle of the night often. I'd say maybe twice a week he ends up in our bedish. But then also what I like to do is I'm like, "Oh, like the next time we're at a hotel, we all get to sleep in the big bed." So I kind of make that like >> cuz he has growing pains.

[00:48:20]>> Yeah. He come he comes in cuz one either he has to pee, so he wakes up, comes and pees, and then he gets in bed with me.

[00:48:25]Or Yeah. His legs always are hurting right now cuz he's getting so tall.

[00:48:30]Especially if we like don't do a bath or a shower before bed and like kind of let him soak the magnesium. His legs are hurting.

[00:48:36]>> I laid with my kids till they fell asleep.

[00:48:38]>> Yeah.

[00:48:38]>> So they pretty much thought I was probably sleeping with them.

[00:48:42]>> They didn't know. The only thing I would say I had Ross, Ryland, and Rocky in the same room just like you have.

[00:48:47]>> Mhm.

[00:48:48]>> And I would say my hardest child would be Ross to put to bed.

[00:48:52]>> Well, and Ross shared a room with me for a minute. Did he do okay at that point or was when he got older?

[00:48:57]>> He was a little bit Well, no, he he always Did you guys see six sense?

[00:49:05]>> He always has been kind of spooked.

[00:49:07]>> He He had Okay. I didn't know really.

[00:49:10]Honestly, kids are intuitive and they see things and I feel like he was that child, but I didn't know it at the time, right?

[00:49:18]>> And I had never, you know, like again, you can't Google, you can't do anything.

[00:49:23]You just are living your life and seeing what's happening. Like you're not can't do any of that. You have to go get a book. You have to whatever call the people to be like, >> "Right, what's the power of Christ compels you? The power of Christ compels."

[00:49:38]>> Well, supposedly because kids like because they're fresh spirits. They're so such new spirits. Their spirit is still tethered to like wherever you want whatever you want to call it, the other world, the other realm. See, and I was raised Mormon, so they don't they don't really believe in that. But Mark believes in other lives. And which has been great because he's like, "Storm, why are you doing that?" I go, "It's from my other life.

[00:50:00]>> It's from my other life."

[00:50:02]>> You just blame it on that, babe.

[00:50:04]>> I'm a hoarder. Because of my past life, obviously.

[00:50:07]>> Why do you want so many bunnies? It's from my >> It's from my other life.

[00:50:11]>> No, I'm Mark says, "Anything I go, oh >> oh, >> I don't know. It must be from my other life, >> right? I kind of now, you know, in my do I believe that now? I think maybe I do.

[00:50:23]I don't I don't know. I got to really think about what I truly truly believe in, >> right?

[00:50:28]>> But I do know from my experiences that >> Ross for sure saw ghosts.

[00:50:36]>> Literally, I would be feeding Ross. I'd sit on the floor and I'd have a little chair because you guys were all running around, all my kids, you know. So, I literally would sit on the floor and his high chair was on the floor, his little chair. And I'd be feeding him and he would look past me like somebody was stand. I was afraid to turn around.

[00:50:54]That's what his eyes look like.

[00:50:55]>> I'd be afraid to be alone.

[00:50:56]>> I would be like like I'd be like like I was like, "Oh my god." And then I'd be like, "Sure. Can you come over?" He's like, he's like, "Uh." Everybody was a little bit nervous cuz it was so real.

[00:51:08]Ross would say, "Hi, ghost." He always I feel like hadn't like an imaginary friend. He's always talking >> and he'd like point and I That's what Sugar's doing. Ooh.

[00:51:17]She does point all the time.

[00:51:19]>> He like Sugar's like woo woo.

[00:51:21]>> Yeah, Sugar might. And I had no idea.

[00:51:23]And then he would never want to go to bed.

[00:51:26]>> Yeah, I wouldn't either if I was seeing ghosts and they're talking to me.

[00:51:30]>> He always forget it.

[00:51:31]>> And so finally I just kind of gave into it because he'd literally I'd vacuum.

[00:51:36]Everybody would be dead asleep. He'd vacuum with me. I'd be doing the wash.

[00:51:39]He'd be sitting on the washer. And then he'd finally say, "Mom, how about you and me go to bed?" Cuz he was exhausted.

[00:51:45]And I'd be like, "Okay, son." He'd have to get so tired to not have it, I think.

[00:51:50]>> Yeah.

[00:51:50]>> But him and Ryland, then when they got older, they were in the bunk bed.

[00:51:54]>> Wait, they have the funniest stories.

[00:51:56]>> They would tell.

[00:51:57]>> They need to come on and tell them themselves because it will be even funnier. But it's the funniest.

[00:52:01]>> We'll wait to have them on and tell the stories. But I'm not kidding you when I tell you. I went and I saw Six Sense and I was like, "Oh my stars, are you kidding me?" Mhm.

[00:52:12]>> If you haven't seen that movie, it's like you've got to be kidding.

[00:52:15]>> I actually don't think I've seen it, but I know what it's about from you talking about it.

[00:52:19]>> Yeah. That's crazy, honestly. So, so I was like, "Oh, you know, Ross needs us and needs, you know, it's just different, >> right?" Yeah. I guess it just depends on the kids.

[00:52:30]>> We could be performing in a really old old theater and Ross would not go on stage >> because it's haunted.

[00:52:37]>> Yeah, I think it was haunt. I'm not joking.

[00:52:40]>> Probably. No, I believe it. 100,000%.

[00:52:43]>> I never got mad. I just was like, "Ooh."

[00:52:46]I was thinking to myself, "Who's sitting by me right now?"

[00:52:48]>> Right.

[00:52:50]>> Somebody's somebody's sitting on your lap.

[00:52:52]>> Yeah. Like it's >> somebody's tickling your back right now.

[00:52:55]>> It's scary. It's It's scary to think about.

[00:52:57]>> We've all seen a a medium now, too, which if you're if you believe in that or not. Mom hasn't gone and and Ryland and Riker have not gone, but me, Dad, Ross, and Rocky have all gone to the same one, and it's crazy.

[00:53:10]No.

[00:53:10]>> So, I definitely think >> you know what's crazy about it is it's it's before I found out um I was sick and every time they went she was saying, >> "Is your mom okay?" She say that to every child.

[00:53:23]>> And I'm like pissed at all of us cuz she said it to dad. Did dad go first? She said it to dad. Then she said it to Rocky. Then she said it to me. Then did Ryland go? No. She said it to Ross.

[00:53:31]She's like, "Guys, I'm seeing something like on your mom like right here. Are her lungs okay?" like and we all just kind of brushed it off which is weird >> but I I wasn't sick. I was like you weren't sick but we were just like I I was just like oh like she gets bronchitis often like she has a cough sometimes but she was like she just kept saying is your mom okay? Like can your mom come see me? Like I would love to see your mom.

[00:53:55]>> I really want to meet your mom. Like can she come see me?

[00:53:58]>> But we never thought about it. I was like oh really she wants to see me? I was thinking to myself oh great. We're like, "Oh, there's so many angels up there just waiting in line to talk to Stormy."

[00:54:06]>> Like, that's kind of what we were thinking. And she was like, "Maybe like tell her to just relax, like stop cleaning so much and and sit down for a bit." And they're like, "Get rid of like all the cleaning chemicals, like no more chemicals in the house." Like, but we were not thinking, "Oh, she has cancer."

[00:54:21]>> I pretty much always used um natural cleaning stuff.

[00:54:24]>> Right. Right.

[00:54:24]>> But anyways, it I didn't know that I had that and it was weird that she was saying that.

[00:54:28]>> And she kept she said it to each one of us separately. like I I really need to see your mom. I'm seeing something here.

[00:54:34]Is she okay? And then after the fact, we find out she had cancer.

[00:54:39]>> The thing with me is my energy and Riker feels the same way. Our energy and our we we don't want to go to somebody and be like something's wrong cuz we don't think anything's wrong. We think everything's great. And so, >> well, that's more of like a psychic.

[00:54:52]She's a medium. So, it's different.

[00:54:55]>> Had to turn the air up a little bit.

[00:54:56]She's not like this is going to happen to you in 2 months and I'm going to I'm probably going to end up seeing her because she's going to tell me how, you know, amazing I am and that I'm doing great, >> right? No, she more like talks to your angels and your spirits and stuff like that if you're if you believe in that as well.

[00:55:12]>> Yeah. They're like somebody's in the room that she knows who's in the room and all that. It's really interesting.

[00:55:17]>> Like I've talked to papa. She's like, "Oh, your your papa's here. Like he just passed." like she she she's like he said this and this and this and I'm like how would she know that unless he was telling her so it's it's you have to obviously believe in that but it's very interesting and she's awesome and oh like when I was having super the morning of I had him like when did I have him I have him that night she text my dad and was like I'm feeling strong baby boy energy today and then I had him that day it was funny her and my dad are besties now >> Mark Lynch is besties >> with everybody but yeah we can the boys can tell you all their medium stories and stuff too.

[00:55:54]>> Did we answer that question?

[00:55:55]>> Yeah, cuz I was like I said I try to turn it around. I'm like sleepover.

[00:55:59]>> But I don't think there's anything wrong with sleeping. I do think co-s sleeping would be >> Yeah. I mean a lot of people co-sleep.

[00:56:05]>> This is what I think with your animals.

[00:56:08]They can all sleep in the bed. They can all have treats. A million treats. They could do whatever because they don't have to stand on their own two feet. Get a job one day. Drive a car one day. Be an adult. It's like you're practicing being an adult. that's what you're doing, >> right?

[00:56:22]>> So all that great, but when it comes to children, you have to think they have to be an adult one day. They have to be an adult. What am I doing >> to make them a better adult? I think that that is the whole thing. Does that make sense?

[00:56:33]>> Yeah. No, it makes sense. But I and I think it just depends on so many things in your situation. Like so for me, for instance, I I literally like I'm a stay-at-home working mom. I have to work once they go to sleep. So I can't I mean they the thing is they obviously could fall asleep in my bed and I could sneak out sneak out. fall asleep.

[00:56:50]>> I fall asleep and then I'm like, "Shoot, I I can't you have to do your whatever's working for you, you have to."

[00:56:56]>> So, like I like at the cabin Supra, I was falling asleep with him and I'm like, "Crap, now I can't edit because I I fell asleep." And so it just depends, >> right? Cuz we'd be like, "Let's watch a movie." And then we'd go up to lay with the kids and then it's like we both fall asleep, >> right? Cuz at the cabin they sleep like in the bed with us, the big bed. But um also I never really had to deal with too much of that because I've always done the wake windows, nap schedule, nursing schedule. So they always have kind of just been really good sleepers, I think, from the beginning.

[00:57:26]>> Yeah, that's definitely.

[00:57:27]>> So that's been very helpful. And obviously if you want to co-s sleep, I think that's great. Like I've seen I always see like moms with like the double like king beds and all their kids are in the bed. I think that's so sweet and I love that.

[00:57:38]>> And that's what I have at the cabin. I have two king beds together. I love it.

[00:57:41]I love it. Yeah. So, everybody in the bed, it's hard because you're trying to make a great human being a great adult.

[00:57:49]>> And so, it's like how do you cut that off where they can't sleep with you anymore if they're sleeping with you every single night? And I I don't know cuz I didn't have that >> except with with Ross or >> But no, Ross would start in his own bed, but he would get scared >> and then come to you. So, that's kind of like super. He always starts in his own bed, but then he comes to get in bed with me.

[00:58:07]>> Yes. I think again there's different situations, >> right? But remember, you're raising adults. I think that's a key statement.

[00:58:14]>> So then some people are like massive advocates for co-sleeping. So it definitely is a big split and I don't have any judgment either way.

[00:58:21]>> Like I said, I love it. Like I Mark would be like absolutely not. When Mark goes out of town, I want every animal in the bed. Every animal. He does not want anybody in the bed.

[00:58:31]>> Capron would be more okay with it. I'm the one that's kind of more I'm a lighter sleeper. Yes.

[00:58:35]>> So the thing is when they the times like at a hotel when they all are in the bed, I don't sleep at all. I'm like I'm >> I can sleep I can sleep anywhere with anybody, >> right? And then Cronin's snoring. I'm just like I'm so glad you slept so good.

[00:58:50]>> But even like at the hotel we just went to >> Even Sweetie slept in a twin.

[00:58:53]>> In a twin, >> right?

[00:58:55]>> And I'm just like I can sleep. It's It's fully fine. That's impressive.

[00:58:59]>> I'm And she's right here and we're in a twin. And >> she's a good sleeper though. I like being kicked a couple times.

[00:59:05]>> She But she doesn't move a ton. Super does a full 360.

[00:59:09]>> Yeah.

[00:59:10]>> All night. And I'm just like, "Okay, I have bruises on my leg."

[00:59:14]>> I love it. I would sleep with everybody.

[00:59:16]But I think that the scheduling is the key here. And a good schedule is always the best. We would nap. I would nap with you guys all the time. We'd come home from feeding the ducks or at the slab and we would all do our shower and then we all get in the bed.

[00:59:30]>> You could get us all to nap in the bed with you.

[00:59:32]>> Yes. in the in the king-size bed and then Ryker impressive. Everybody would have to be quiet.

[00:59:36]>> If I did that, my kids would be somersaulting monkeys jumping on the bed. And I'd say to parkour that would never >> because Riker was getting, you know, Ryker's like five, >> right?

[00:59:45]>> And I'd say, Ryker, we're just going to lay here and then we're going to go get chips and salsa.

[00:59:49]>> A >> and so we would lay there with you guys, get you all sleep, and then we would sneak out.

[00:59:54]>> That's cute.

[00:59:54]>> So, I do love that part of it. I do think that that's amazing to co-s sleep, but then a schedule is also amazing. So, it's whatever's working for your household.

[01:00:04]>> Love it.

[01:00:04]>> Okay. Love you guys.

[01:00:05]>> Toodles.

[01:00:06]>> Bye.