Do People Only Want to Be Your Friend Because You're Famous?

Added: 2026-05-28

[00:00:00]Do you both feel that people want to be your friends for what you do and not you as a person? And this is a a pretty cool topic as, you know, some people as people who are, I guess, more publicly recognized now. Maybe you you're a little newer than me. I mean just now since, you know, they're they're finally realizing that you have a name that you're not just Kamaka DISS as bro a sister.

[00:00:24]So, you have an identity now. So, I'm really happy for you that you're finally stepping out of the shadow of being Um I mean, I never was in a shadow. I was always shining in the sun. That's why I'm so much more brown than Kamaka is.

[00:00:38]Oh, because I'm working so hard indoors.

[00:00:41]Whatever that means.

[00:00:42]>> Yeah.

[00:00:43]Um do I feel that way? Um not necessarily.

[00:00:48]I don't feel that way because I don't choose to feel that way. Like I don't think I care enough about myself.

[00:00:55]>> Yeah. And this isn't self-deprecating.

[00:00:57]It's not saying like I don't care about myself in that way. It's more so I don't think It's not even saying I don't think highly of myself. It's just that I don't consider myself more important than the next person. So, I don't think like this person's only trying to get something out of me.

[00:01:13]Um because I'm also wise about my decisions that I, you know, like my wise about my relationships. So, it's not like I'm just giving things away to people other than my time and my aloha.

[00:01:24]And I also feel like even if someone were taking advantage of me in that moment or if someone were to have ulterior motives in being my friend, that's not my business. And that sounds kind of stupid, but it's not my business to care about what you think of me because again, I'm minding my own business and I can only control what I can control. I can't control how you act. And it also doesn't give me any pleasure to give less love to someone. I don't feel like it's it's beneficial to me in with holding love to people.

[00:02:02]I feel like it's something that I enjoy and it's something that excites me. I like making friends with people. I love um giving people my time and so even if I feel like I should guard myself in situations why would I do that? Like it's not it's not fun. It's not what I was put on earth to do and it's just it's boring.

[00:02:27]If I was If I was walking around life guarded all the time, I would not experience life to its fullest. Yeah, I think it's different levels too cuz like if we were on like Jason Momoa's or Bruno Mars or Nick Jonas, they have to really be aware of like who they let into their circles. It's probably cuz I don't have money.

[00:02:45]>> [laughter] >> So I don't know.

[00:02:46]>> and fame will do that to people. Maybe like Max Holloway, you know, people like that.

[00:02:51]>> Um but for us like we're just normal >> are just regular normal [laughter] people and we don't really think about stuff like that.

[00:02:58]And for me like I I can answer it in two ways. First of all like people being my friends cuz of what I like I got like three friends. I don't need any more. Like plus I'm older. I'm I'm in like in my 30s at like >> Like I don't I'm at the point where I have My friends are have been my friends for 20 plus years, you know, like I got my Hilo boys. I got people that I've met here that are close I'm close with. So I don't like I'm not looking for new friends, you know, it doesn't matter like what I'm doing now. It's like I'll also say >> my friends.

[00:03:30]>> I feel like people who see clips of your podcast, not even watch a podcast, assume that all of your guests are your friends. Oh my gosh, yeah, because because we have such good rapport.

[00:03:40]That's the reason >> what It's like what I say is like it's a quote from Community. Um it's called chemistry. I have it with everybody.

[00:03:48][laughter] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:03:50]>> Yeah, it's like it's literally just shooting the Like we can just talk story. Doesn't mean I'm best friends with Josh Green.

[00:03:58]>> [laughter] >> Yeah, no. It's It's funny cuz just because you're nice to somebody they associate you with them cuz like Now you have a platform and you have the power and >> that the one the one who will not be named, you know, the the guest who was probably will never come back on.

[00:04:14]>> [laughter] >> Um I remember seeing like somebody sending me a a tweet one time or like a threads post one time and it's like the fact that Kamaka Diaz, this person, this person, this person are friends really says a lot. I'm like I've never hung out with these people in my life outside of them coming on my podcast. [laughter] I'm like what? It's so It's very parasocial. Like that's a thing. Oh my god. Very and parasocial isn't just about like thinking you're friends with someone online. It's thinking that you have enough entitlement to say things about their life. Like Um I think it's very parasocial to even be a hater. Like to actively hate on a person.

[00:04:57]>> Yeah. Like to assume It's parasocial to assume that you're friends with everyone that you interview on the podcast. It's just room for conversation. That's like saying like Oh, um Jimmy Fallon is best friends with I don't know. That's That's not a good I delete that. Delete that.

[00:05:12]>> does seem [laughter] like when people go on those talk shows that and they have a good rapport like they they're close friends.

[00:05:16]>> the show though. It's cuz like you're not going to watch something that's awkward and >> Yeah, awkward, uncomfortable. Like maybe he will. I don't know. Maybe we should try that.

[00:05:25]But yeah, I I'm I like to think I'm friends with the people that come on my podcast and I I build a rapport with them on the podcast if I didn't know um them before. Um but so yeah, I don't I don't think I don't think of myself highly enough to be like people want to be my friends. Like I tell people I'm not as cool as you think.

[00:05:42]Yeah. [laughter] >> I mean there are There are some people that will or like come out and do this, come out and you know, hang out. I'm like, no, honestly, I'm old. I want to just be at home.

[00:05:50]>> Yeah, I love just being an old lady.

[00:05:53]>> That So, the other side of that is that I I am aware of and I kind of it's kind of making me avoid going out to certain events. Like like Merrie Monarch was really overwhelming this year for me and I I kind of like stayed low-key. I only went to like two or three craft fairs. I didn't go out at night. It's cuz I was a little like with because I have the platform in the podcast, a lot of people want to be on it. Um and sometimes like even people have meetings with me. I see people out and they're like, get this person on the podcast. Hey, I should be on your podcast. So, it's a lot of people like saying like, get me on the podcast or you should get this person on the podcast and trying to pitch themselves or pitch somebody else.

[00:06:34]>> uncomfortable.

[00:06:34]>> And like I don't I don't like having to answer that directly in person. Like >> Yeah. Like, hey, you should get me on the podcast. I'm like >> your shot.

[00:06:42]>> Yeah, shoot your shot. But like it's fine if you DM me. But if you do it 10 times, it's probably not I just like and like people like will be like, hey, we want to meet, we want to collab like let's I want to collab with you on something. And they always say they always say this. It's like, let's collab on something. Let's collab and like, what are you thinking of? And they're like, oh, getting me on the podcast or getting this person on the podcast. So, I'd rather people just be direct and be like, hey, we want to work out with you cuz we want to work with you because we want to get this person on the podcast instead of like hey, let's I want to work on this partnership with you. I want to like collab. Like, how how can we help each other out? But it's just like and then it goes on and it's like their real intention is just to get somebody on the podcast or me go go to their business and film an episode about their place on the podcast, give them an episode for free, basically. So, that's the only thing that kind of I don't I love when people recognize me and they they're like, thank you so much for the podcast. But it's just the people that are trying to get on the podcast or have some sort of angle. So, I don't love that and I think that does come with the territory of this. But, they're not trying to be my friends.

[00:07:45]They're just trying to >> get something out of you.

[00:07:47]>> Yeah, they >> [laughter] >> they're just trying to get in my circle to get to uh boost themselves. Yeah, yeah, so >> to use They don't They're not using you cuz they like you.

[00:07:58]>> Yeah, They don't like They just want to be on the podcast.

[00:08:00]>> Exactly.

[00:08:01]>> [laughter] >> So, I'm fine with that. Like, you [snorts] don't >> hate you.

[00:08:04]I'm pretty sure. They're just pretending to like me.

[00:08:06]So, yeah, that does happen. And um Yeah, I don't really >> I I I try to avoid going I honest like I stopped drinking for that reason because I didn't like and I don't I don't get nuts. I don't I don't change as a person when I'm under the influence, but I felt like Actually, this happened once last year. I was at the Maoli concert and I had like two beers, but I was just having fun like singing, dancing really loud dancing really loud like singing really loudly.

[00:08:39]And just kind of being silly.

[00:08:41]Um but when I drink, I get a little bit puffy and red. And so, this was right after the Hawaiian Host thing and um I became the face of Aloha Marks.

[00:08:50]And after the show ended, these two young girls came up to me and asked me for a picture. And I was I felt kind of shame in that moment because I was like, well, they're young girls and here I am setting an example of someone who's getting like blessed at a concert, you know?

[00:09:04]And you know, they're for all I know, they're doing that. High school High schoolers drink now, right? But I just want to make sure that I'm representing these brands, these multi-million dollar companies in a positive way and I don't want to jeopardize that. Um and honestly like alcohol was just something I decided was kind of getting in the way of that or could make things complicated. So, I can drink like within moderation, but I haven't gone out in a really long time.

[00:09:32]Like, I haven't been to Moani's or any of the bars.

[00:09:37]And it's fine. I'm I'm really happy, but Well, I think you're in a relationship, too, which changes things.

[00:09:42]>> Not to it. Really makes you so boring.

[00:09:44]Like my friends like I knew as soon as I moved into this [clears throat] house with this man, I was like, "Good luck to my friends cuz they're never seeing me ever again." Yeah, I think you [laughter] get to a point, too, and I I try don't take it personally when friends can't hang out and stuff. You get to a certain age. You got work, you know, you got a relationship, and you you can't hang out all the time and >> it's different when you're actively leaving someone on red. Like if if like they're trying to hang out with me and I'm ignoring them, then that's a different. I think that's that's more Yeah, yeah, respond to people. That's what I >> a little bit disrespectful to them if I were to do that.

[00:10:18]Yeah. Anyway.