Rock, Paper, Scissors | 🔥ROASTED🔥

Añadido: 2026-06-04

[00:00:14]ROCK.

[00:00:15]>> STOP. IS THIS WHAT WE DO? NOT EVEN A SECOND IN AND ALREADY GOT THE ZESTY ASS SEDIMENTS ON MY SCREEN. YOU DON'T GET YOUR LONELY DUCK TRIO LOOKING ASS THE [ __ ] OUT THE SPOT. [ __ ] LOOK AT THIS FEMININE ASS ROOM. THIS [ __ ] LIVING IN A BARBIE DREAM HOUSE. BRO, CUT IT OUT.

[00:00:28]THIS [ __ ] ISN'T CUTE. TWINK NAME SLICK BACK LOOKING ASS.

[00:00:32]>> PAPER.

[00:00:33]>> WHEN DID THE MAP GET HIS OWN SHOW? AND WHY IS HE TINKERING WITH GIZMOS AND GADGETS? THIS AIN'T EVEN YOUR FIELD OF WORK. TAKE YOUR ASS BACK TO SHOWING [ __ ] WHERE TO GO. [ __ ] THINK HE WIDGET OFF OF WOW WOW WUBBZY. HOW IN THE HELL YOU EVEN GET THAT THING TO EXPLODE IN THE FIRST PLACE? ALL YOU DID WAS TWIST A SCREWDRIVER. YOU ARE A DAMN FAILURE. THAT AIN'T A SCREWDRIVER, THAT'S A DAMN MONKEY WRENCH.

[00:00:53]>> SCISSORS.

[00:00:55]>> IF YOU DON'T TAKE YOUR BEEP BEEP I'M A SHEEP LOOKING ASS. FAKE ASS PIZZA STEVE LOOKING ASS DUDE. TOP FLIPS OFF OF SANJAY AND CRAIG LOOKING ASS DUDE. WHAT THE HELL YOU GOT A OILED UP SQUIGGLY AND FANCY SUN UMBRELLA ON YOUR DAMN HEAD?

[00:01:08]WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE DAMN DISAPPOINTING ASS LEGS?

[00:01:13]LOOKING ASS. [ __ ] LEGS [clears throat] LOOK LIKE QUARTER NOTES.

[00:01:17]>> [applause] >> LOOKING ASS. [screaming] [ __ ] LOOK LIKE ONE OF THEM DAMN BIKERS OFF OF TEEN BEACH MOVIE.

[00:01:23]>> You better run run run cuz here we come revving our engines under the sun. Your crew's in for A BRUISING.

[00:01:33]>> LOOKING ASS DUDE.

[00:01:35]>> ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS.

[00:01:36]>> BRO, THIS SHOW IS FOR ALL OF Y'ALL. WHY Y'ALL FIGHTING OVER THE SCREEN? ANGRY BEAVERS ASS [ __ ] The hell ARE THESE DAMN VOODOO EXPERIMENTS DOING UNDERWATER? FIRST OF ALL, THAT'S A ROCK. HOW ARE YOU NOT SINKING? SECOND OF ALL, DUDE, YOU'RE PAPER. HOW ARE YOU NOT DISINTEGRATING?

[00:01:50]AND THIRD OF ALL, HOW IS THE SCISSORS [ __ ] NOT RUSTING? YOU'RE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN. AND THEY AIN'T THEY'RE TO HAVE THE NERVE TO HAVE ON THESE DAMN FLIPPERS LIKE THEY FINNA DO SOMETHING. I OUGHT TO SLAP THE LIFE OUT OF ALL OF Y'ALL.

[00:02:01]WHAT THE ALL RIGHT, SO IF Y'ALL DON'T GET THESE [ __ ] Temu ass Octonauts out of my face, like come on. What are we doing, SON? WHY Y'ALL EVEN AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN FIGHTING THE DAMN KRAKEN?

[00:02:11]DISCOVERING SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T EXIST ASS [ __ ] YO, IF THAT AIN'T THE FAKEST [ __ ] YO, COME ON. Y'ALL AIN'T SEE THIS BACKSTABBING ASS DUDE HAND HIM OVER? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

[00:02:23]WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YO, IF Y'ALL DON'T KICK THIS DUDE OFF THE TEAM. HOW DID YOU EVEN GET A HOLD OF THIS DESPICABLE ME ASS CONTRAPTION IN THE SHORT TIME THAT I WAS LOOKING AT Y'ALL? EVERYTHING THAT HE'S DONE SO FAR HAS EITHER BEEN DESTRUCTIVE OR DETRIMENTAL TO THE TEAM.

[00:02:35]WHY IS HE HERE? WHAT DOES HE EVEN DO?

[00:02:38]AND THEN Y'ALL WANT TO ACT ALL SWEET AND SAVORY LIKE Y'ALL NOT HURTLING TOWARDS THE BOTTOM OF A BIG ASS HILL. WHAT ARE WE DOING, SON? DEAD ASS, WHAT ARE WE DOING? WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THE FURNITURE? THIS SHIMMER AND SHINE ASS TEACUP.

[00:02:51]THAT DUDE HAS THE SURVIVAL instincts of well, a rock. Why are you trying to hitch a ride with [ __ ] Invader Zim?

[00:02:59]And of course Scissors just so happens to have a bat ON STANDBY. THIS DESTRUCTIVE ass dude just has anything that has something TO DO WITH BREAKING [ __ ] And here go this Pickles and Peanut ass explosion. What is this show even about, like See, I don't [music] even know what's going on.

[00:03:16]If you don't get THIS ANGRY ASS TRASH CANS. It's the first time you've been on screen the entire intro when you're already mad. YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE NOTHING TO BE MAD ABOUT. YOU JUST GRUMPITY MAKE GRUMP PANTS. WHAT THE [ __ ] So not only Y'ALL GOT BEEF WITH A DAMN TRASH CAN, y'all beefing with the hantavirus. [ __ ] IS THAT TIMMY TURNER?

[00:03:32]>> [music] >> OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. DISREGARD THIS BIG ASS OONSKI THE GREAT BUILT ASS HIPPO.

[00:03:40]DISREGARD THIS BIG ASS SELTZER LOOKING ASS [ __ ] NELVANA LOOKING ASS POLAR BEAR. WHAT THE HELL [screaming] IS THAT?

[00:03:46]WHY Y'ALL WHY Y'ALL FIGHTING A BIG ASS BOOGER?

[00:03:49]HOW? I'M DONE. I'M DONE. I GIVE UP. I'M SO DONE. I'm done. [ __ ] THIS SHOW.

[00:03:54]GET SCORCHED. [screaming] >> [music] [music]