Villains Too Stupid To Win Ep.24 - Aku (Samurai Jack)

Added: 2026-05-05

[00:00:00]Welcome to another villains too stupid to win lowhanging fruit edition. Because here at Media, our morals are just as low as the cartoon villains we're picking on. It's Aku from Samurai Jack.

[00:00:13]The mad scientist behind Dexter's Laboratory bruise up another wacky cartoon outing, awkwardly premiering in August 2001. Thankfully, they got their tower burning out of the way in episode 1. Because if that had happened just a month later, the show would have gone down faster than you know what, never mind. Offering a refreshing restbite from the murky moral relativism of the real world, Samurai Jack delivers a black and white clash between the forces of good and evil with a heavy focus on visual storytelling and a dizzying array of genre mixing. An action adventure sci-fi fantasy comedy western with a dash of eastern mysticism that wildly seesaws in tone and setting from lush biospheres feudal societies to dystopian urban hellscapes playing like an anthology show of bizarro fairy tales with an overarching narrative tacked onto it. Consequently, Samurai Jack enjoys a big tent of viewership. its fan base, a bizarre confluence of science fiction nerds, goth chicks, skater stoners, and comparatively innocent children. The latter of which we can thank for the constant stream of bloodless robot minions. It's oily robot smashing fun for the whole family.

[00:01:24]Though, the goth girls get their way in the much darker and later final season.

[00:01:29]A fitting identity crisis considering Jack's pilgrimage offers an exploration of the struggle for purpose and meaning in a confusing crowded world after experiencing profound loss. An internal struggle against the enemies of isolation and loneliness matched by an external struggle against Jack's black dog and primary foil, the far more profound basket case, a coup.

[00:01:51]>> Gather up and bling Jesse off looking stoner. A shape-shifting sorcerer afflicted with a strange duality bestowed with god-like power yet plagued by major character flaws and a gargantuan physical weakness. Aku may be a more fantasmal form of evil, but he's not above a few hammy villainous cliches. Big on theatrics, announcing his plans and weaknesses, toying with his enemies for no reason, prematurely declaring victory, etc. Ak's mustache twirling taking the form of an absolutely fire eyebrow game. Though he serves as a show's primary source of comic relief, make no mistake, he is also a force of profound evil who has a massively damaging effect on the world.

[00:02:34]>> If you think I will allow you to turn this program into a parody, you are sorely mistaken.

[00:02:38]>> He's such a hopeless fiend that even a foul-mouthed standoffish Scotsman comes off like an absolute saint by comparison.

[00:02:45]>> The holiest man ever to slap iron. He killed for your sins. A coup got a star is part of a larger entity of dark matter, a primordial manifestation of evil, hatred, chaos, and entropy until it was blasted to bits by more powerful deities. A little au tailing tumbling towards Earth like a discarded toenail clipping. Aku inadvertedly committing his first atrocity. Turns out this mofo was the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs despite the fact he ended up in Japan and quite far from the Yucatan Peninsula. Though I guess we can't be too myth since he seems to have helped humanity to arise. I'm sure that was just so he'd have somebody to mess with.

[00:03:23]Sitting there existing for 65 million years in an inert plant-like state.

[00:03:27]>> Gosh, you're like really really old.

[00:03:30]>> Seemingly unable to develop further other than to slowly spread like a blight on the land until the emperor of Japan, Jack's father, makes the massive error of firing a poison arrow into this black mass which somehow allowed this ancient cosmic creature to gain sentience. Akum manifesting as the personification of evil, the man adjacent spectre of shadow and fire he presents as today. To be fair, I'm not sure how the emperor could have predicted that outcome, but if anyone had a chance, it would surely be the Buddhist monk who gave him the magic elixir. Drop the ball there, my man.

[00:04:01]What is that bald head good for?

[00:04:04]Milk drinking soy face.

[00:04:08]This oni inspired entity adopting the name Aku, meaning evil in Japanese, but sounding suspiciously like anus in Portuguese. To be honest, evil [ __ ] is a fairly fitting name for him. Just look what he does to Japan. Eventually, Jack's father, bestowed with a magic sword by the aforementioned deities, the ultimate weapon to combat a coup, forged from the innate power of human righteousness. But then the emperor displays nothing but wrongfulness, imprisoning Aku in his previous inert state despite the sword being capable of destroying him.

[00:04:39]>> We are sure to encounter further hostilities when Aku inevitably returns to wreak havoc instead of getting busy hacking him to pieces again. Sending his son away to prepare and train with various cultures around the world, turning him into an anti-acoup human weapon.

[00:04:53]>> But then like when JACK PULL THAT SWIZZARD AND WAS ALL LIKE SWING SWOOP MAN RIDE THROUGH THE CAR. THE COUP GAINING wind of this plan and making just one single attempt to capture the little sproggler. This lack of follow-through his first mistake and the start of a clear pattern. Though that pales in comparison to Aku's true original sin, his first catastrophic error that admittedly gives us the entire TV show. Point one, Aku's procrastination only delays the inevitable, ignoring other more immediate and effective options. So Jack returns from his training junket with a power level over 9,000. Catching up with his mom to grab the sword and returning to Japan to find his father and people enslaved. Confronting the dark lord for a bit of hack and slash, Aku can do nothing against his ultimate weapon other than to shapeshift into ever decreasing ineffective forms while failing to use some of his most powerful attacks. Out of desperation, Aku magics up a time portal that sends Jack to the far future and into a time period where Aku's rule of Earth is absolute kind of.

[00:05:55]I appreciate that this move at least shows the truly awesome power that Aku possesses, but was this really the best way to deal with the Jack problem? It's the cosmic sorcerer procrastination equivalent of choosing to do the dishes tomorrow.

[00:06:09]>> Must be close to bedtime.

[00:06:11]>> Except these dishes will kill you if you don't manage to finish the job. And what's more, this act seems to have taken Jack out of time in more ways than one. He's now biologically immortal.

[00:06:21]Surely, that's something a powerful being such as a coup should have been able to predict. So now, if he's unable to kill Jack in the future, he'll be stuck with his nemesis forever as the only other immortal being. This is potentially disastrous. Okay, sure, go with a portal. Why not a portal to the bottom of the ocean or out into deep space? How about one that functions like a black hole crushing Jack into oblivion? Surely these are within his purview, even in his diminished state. A timetraversing portal is god dare sorcery. Any other type should be child's play for him. Aku also could have escaped by conjuring a time portal to the past. Perhaps building his power from an earlier stage totally beyond Jack's reach. Or keep things simple, he could have just teleported out of there himself. Even doing what he normally does in this situation, turning into a bird and flapping away to fight another day would have been better than what he goes with. majorly prolonging this conflict unnecessarily. Aku seeming to think that his future dominion over Earth will afford him an advantage. I'm sure that means dictator Aku must have everything on lockdown.

[00:07:23]Point two, Aku's disorganized campaign against Jack lacks the consistency needed to succeed and he repeatedly fails to prioritize the most critical target. So Jack is plopped out into a grimy dystopian city at an unspecified time in the far future. Aku apparently conquering the planet not long after Jack was spirited away. The Earth radically transformed after what must be millennia of his despotic rule. Aku grasping for power beyond Earth, opening portals to other star systems, seeking to capitalize on resources and riches.

[00:07:54]His interstellar empire attracting all kinds of alien riffraff to Earth. Our planet now a hive of scum and villain that makes Moss Eley look like Sunday school. A bizarre neoapolitan world filled with alien creatures. strange mutant animals and distinct unrecognizable cultures living in a wild range of disperate environments in which actual baseline humans seem scattered and displaced almost in endangered species. But I will say it's heartening to see that after millennia Scottish culture has remained stubbornly intact because of course it has. Our bewildered fish out of water Jack showing his resolve to be as steely as ever, vowing to wander this future wasteland and find a way to travel back in time. Kill a coup in the past and set things right.

[00:08:38]And it shouldn't be that tough since Bizarro Earth seems to be littered with various means of time travel. The only thing slowing down our pious paragon of righteousness. He just can't help but assist every victim of Ak's rule along the way. After Jack assists some talking canines to break from Ak's tyranny, as you do, the dark lord uncovering Jack's presence in the future. Because despite being a deity capable of temporal meddling, his arrival wasn't something he was able to predict. Sending out a legion of crappy beetle droids to go up against the far more formidable Jack in what will become a bit of a trend. At no point does Aku offer any coordinated campaign to take out his nemesis.

[00:09:16]Instead, he merely puts a bounty on his head and sends an endless stream of brainless assault forces, almost all of whom are no match for Jack, including robotic animal drones, robotic assassins, bounty hunters, and warlords, the occasional moronic state enforcer.

[00:09:31]All of whom are just as unreliable as Aku himself, and all shall perish against the human meat grinder that is Jack. Let's be honest, the fact that Aku is putting all these morons between himself and this samurai hints that he might be scared just a little bit.

[00:09:45]Occasionally, a coup sets a trap for Jack using some kind of hamfisted trickery before showing up personally to get cut to ribbons and taken to the verge of destruction before making a hasty retreat. Let's be honest, Jack could end this back and forth anytime he wants by hunting down a coup and finishing him off. The only reason he doesn't is because he's prioritizing finding a time portal so he can kill the version of Aku that will prevent all this future madness. Aku's schemes are truly legion. But let's take a look at some particularly stupid honorable mentions here. Some assassin droids imply that Aku will pay them money to kill Jack.

[00:10:20]>> Master Aku will pay us greatly for your destruction.

[00:10:24]>> Not sure why robot slaves would require compensation for their work. But more concerningly, Aku poses as this green lady to team up with Jack and find this jewel, which would apparently allow time travel. Along the way, Jack is completely swallowed by quicksand, and for some inexplicable reason, Aku chooses to save him. and he didn't even want the jewel for himself, so it's not like he needed Jack's help with anything. Jack being dead in quicksand could have solved every problem he had.

[00:10:49]Though, I suppose this isn't the worst way this episode could have gone since Jack seemed to have a crush on his new green companion and Aku wasn't exactly shooting down his interest. One of the most impressive forces Ak sends after Jack are these assassin droids made of adamantium. Because apparently samurai Jack exists in the Marvel universe.

[00:11:08]Powered by Aku's dark energy and made by this mad scientist guy, they end up dominating Jack pretty hard. But of course, dumbass Aku has to grasp defeat from the jaws of victory by opting to destroy the scientist village for no reason at all.

[00:11:21]>> Test them. How?

[00:11:24]>> By destroying your village. No, you can't. We had an agreement.

[00:11:30]>> Leading him to go against a coup by helping Jack defeat his own creations. A coup sends his minion to Mango, who acknowledges that Jack is too powerful for Aku, but not for him.

[00:11:40]>> Perhaps too powerful for my master, but not for me.

[00:11:47]>> Which implies that this supernatural being could be a threat to Aku and probably shouldn't be kept around. But of all the various plays Aku is running against Jack, very few are focused on the obvious targets. Firstly, Aku should be tracking down and destroying anything that would allow Jack to travel to the past. But more importantly, he should be primarily focused on destroying or otherwise separating Jack from his magical sword. Eliminating your enemy's ability to hurt you should always be a top priority. Jack without his magic sword is about as threatening as a gnat.

[00:12:18]The man himself is only a secondary concern. And yet, Aku targets the sword only a small number of times, and those schemes were just as poorly executed as his typical shtick. Take these metal munching robots seemingly sent out by a coup to destroy the sword until their internal structure is exposed, at which point they'll be compelled to munch on each other. That seems like something that could have been solved with proper programming. This is the trouble with using untested robots. If those were animals, evolution would have ended that stupidity after one generation. At one point, Aku actually manages to get THE SWORD.

[00:12:53]>> I SHALL destroy the sword and become truly invincible.

[00:12:59]>> Signaling his intent to destroy it, but then squandering his advantage by attacking Jack with it, which seems like the best way for him to get it back when victory could have been as simple as porting it into oblivion. And it turns out the sword won't even work on Jack.

[00:13:12]So, that was all pointless. Aku nearly losing his life thanks to his foolishness. And I believe there's only one other time Aku targets the sword and fails to get it done. But why weren't he and his cronies targeting it every time they pick a fight with him? Put your feelings aside and recognize that the sword should be the primary target. At one point, Jack loses the sword and eventually gets another one magicked up by the same deities who originally created it. But it's not like Aku knows that would happen. It would still be best to deprive Jack of this weapon and then kill him before he can get another.

[00:13:44]Aku's fixation on killing Jack directly, one of many symptoms of his poor prioritization, a trend that extends to everything, including how he chooses to rule his domain. Point three, despite a coup being gifted with god-like power, his control over his subjects is anything but absolute. Aku is a being of astonishing power, able to change size at will and shapeshift into any form he desires. Seemingly beyond physical limitations, only hindered by the need to retain a dash of acou pain, capable of breathing fire, telekinesis, and emitting powerfully destructive energy discharges. Impervious to all forms of attack except those infused with plus 1,000 holy magic MOUTH LITTLE YOU. Aku's power level is so high, his abilities so numerous. He's like the final final boss after you defeat five other fake final bosses 20 hours deep into a Final Fantasy side mission.

[00:14:41]>> Perhaps you could tell us how to get back to the lobby.

[00:14:43]>> Presumably, Aku is some form of lower deity, though he seems closer in power to a bonafide god. Not only embodying quasi omnipotence, but also quasi omniresence, able to locate and remote view Jack wherever he is on Earth and teleport to any location instantaneously. But although he may be excelling generally in terms of divine power, Aku is absolutely failing on the omniscience front. He's about as far from all knowing as one can get, lacking the natural inclination and too arrogant to tend to his intellect, which ends up basically being his Achilles heel. Our best defense is knowledge.

[00:15:19]>> His impressive power allows him de facto dominance over the Earth. But his actual control over his subjects is severely lacking. After what must be millennia to sort this stuff out, Aku's enforcement and oversight is unevenly applied.

[00:15:33]Devoid of natural authority and failing to develop any semblance of leadership ability, Aku's rule predicated solely on the threat of force. But even that isn't being supported by the necessary state infrastructure to allow it to be applied effectively. The vast array of distinct cultures on Earth left to develop mostly unimpeded. An incident with a coup in the past, usually the sum total of their experiences with them. The Dark Lord often leaving his enemies alive, choosing enslavement or punishment over killing them. Some areas even appear to be ruled unofficially by lesser warlords. 90% or more of Aku's realm is functionally lawless. Sure, there are some urban areas where Ak's presence is more prominent, but even here, state and forces seem few and far between, and the people aren't exactly living under totalitarian rule. This lack of control allows potential threats and pockets of rebellion to propagate all over the planet. Jack free to wander around unhared most of the time when a sustained campaign against him would have sorted him out much more quickly.

[00:16:33]Even Aku's allies learn how unreliable their leader truly is. Often coming to arrangements with him, only for him to betray their agreement for no other reason than it seems to amuse him. So, it's not like there's a surplus of loyal AU followers ready to make up for his failures of oversight. The only excuse for Ak's failure to provide proper despotic governance after millennia at the helm is that order, stability, and vigilance simply don't agree with his personality.

[00:16:58]>> Do you think you could possibly behave a little less like yourself?

[00:17:02]Fundamentally, Aku is a deity of chaos and disorder, and so his realm reflects his nature. Aku's power is only matched by the sheer depth of his psychological dysfunction and the massive handicap it gives him. Along with being a profound sadist, he's also arrogant, lazy, temperamental, apathetic, easily distracted, and lacks follow-rough.

[00:17:23]>> You promise to do tasks which then go undone.

[00:17:26]>> A psychiatrist could have an absolute field day with this guy. Aku is a conqueror uninterested in ruling over the conquered. Only his invulnerability and immortality keeps him in office.

[00:17:37]Most of the time he seems totally disengaged, sitting around doing absolutely nothing. But then once something happens, he becomes impatient and acts rashly despite having no other pressing matters to attend to. His emotional instability making him a distant, reactive leader with almost zero strategic foresight. Ruling for ruling sake with no ultimate purpose to his actions. Standing in stark contrast to Jack's long-term perseverance, laser focus, and clear strategic goals, Aku's apathy creates a power vacuum, both in leadership, and a lack of state narrative, allowing the legend of Jack to propagate as he roams around Aku's domain, offering assistance and hope to numerous populations.

[00:18:17]>> The seed of rebellion has been planted in them by these tales of heroism.

[00:18:23]easily managing to gain allies and assistance despite having almost zero charisma or skills beyond his swordsmanship. It isn't long until he becomes a bonafide folk hero and a coup's attempts at reframing the story are about as childish as it gets.

[00:18:37]>> I'd be curious to know what you've made up thus far.

[00:18:40]>> The people feeling so empowered by the myth of the righteous warrior who has the will and the weapon to stand against the coup. Some are even willing to rebel against their overlord without Jack's assistance. As futile as it may be, though, I suppose the Scots need to channel their internal William Wallace every now and again. In our more maturely themed season 5, released a whopping 14 years after season 4 and set 50 years later, we see the rebellion against Aku's reign come to a head. Jack has been listlessly wandering the world after losing his sword. And Aku is even worse, seemingly clinically depressed.

[00:19:15]Snibling worm might hen walk while studying color tatty >> after he destroyed what was said to be the last time portal aku has become so lazy he resolved to wait until his nemesis dies of old age >> I just assumed that eventually over time HE WOULD JUST DIE >> when Jack could have potentially shown up at any time and turned them into confetti both characters tired of their endless stalemate seemingly giving up except the coup could have ended ended their conflict anytime he wanted to if he'd bothered to check in on Jack and seeing that he lost his sword, which he apparently didn't do, despite somehow knowing that Jack now has a beard.

[00:19:54]>> He just grew that stupid beard.

[00:19:57]>> I'm starting to suspect Aku is one of these villains who would probably have a full-blown mental breakdown if he actually defeated his enemy. Weirdly, despite seemingly having no interest in defeating Jack, he's also been tending to a long-term scheme to do just that through dark magic and a spritz of Akuz gunk. This priestess birthed some unholy offspring who thankfully didn't inherit their father's looks. Receiving combat training and brainwashed to hate Jack, raised on tales of his supposed vileeness, a fiction that falls apart 5 seconds after you engage with this achingly nice gentleman. And concerningly, despite their origins, they've been equipped with free will.

[00:20:34]Jack saving this ashy girl, eventually turning her against a coup, and her in turn helping Jack get his mojo back. And I'm not talking about the 70-year-old virgin finally being on the brink of getting some action. Jack visiting the gods to pick up another sword and a shave and a haircut, no less. Good service around here. About time these slackers did something. Aku finally informed of Jack's lack of sword just after he got another one. Bringing out the darkness within Ashi, giving her access to his power, which seems extremely dangerous should she still be capable of resisting his influence.

[00:21:05]>> Tap into his strengths and make them your own. Jack powerless to resist his love for her. But then a coup stay in her hand for the sake of having a pointless gloat, foolishly broadcasting his supposed victory around the world, exposing his true origins and clearly dispelling the flimsy state narrative of Ak's benevolence, signaling clearly to the entire planet that this will be the last possible chance to defeat him. Dude basically just lit the beacons of Gondor to call for aid against himself. And so, mirroring the original global coalition that trained Jack, the kooky future tribes of the world come together, inspired by Jack for a final assault against a coup.

[00:21:45]>> You've done it now. preing their folk hero and dividing Aku's attention at a key moment. Predictably, Ashi able to resist Aku thanks to her feelings for Jack, magicking up a time portal to send them both back in time, where Jack, with his quest at 99% completion, makes up for years of apathy by ferociously attacking a pre-weakened a coup in the past and not making the same mistake as his father, slashing away until not one scrap remains. Like that full Ultron before him, Aku wasn't strategic enough to squirrel away a part of himself, even though he'd be perfectly capable of it.

[00:22:20]The Aku Bizarro world of the far future, erased from existence along with Ashi, her disappearance from the past, while tragic, also serving as confirmation that Aku is gone for good. A small price to pay for a future with humanity in charge of their own destiny. Jack, Prince of Japan, saving his country and the entire world, I'm sure won't have trouble finding another girlfriend. A bonus 50 years of existence in exchange for a bit of psychological baggage, also seems like a decent tradeoff. Aku, despite being the supreme ruler of a galactic empire and gifted with unrivaled power, letting his own hang-ups get the better of him. This deity not able to withstand a lowly warrior noble posing as a samurai.

[00:23:05]Oh my slain.