Episode 10: The "Going Under" Checklist: Identifying Your Mental Red Flags

Added: 2026-05-22

[00:00:01][music] [music] [music] >> to English.

[00:00:16]Oh, good.

[00:00:17]I spoke so much English. Yes. What it [laughter] is. What's up?

[00:00:21]I hope you guys heard that. Got you.

[00:00:25]I damn.

[00:00:27]Where does one get a job where they can speak less English? I'm begging because I don't know how we're going to I don't know how we're going to do this episode because the English I spoke today good luck to all of us. How are you?

[00:00:40]>> [laughter] >> We all know my vibe. I'm trying not to say I'm tired. I am good. I am I don't want to say stressed, but like you know, there's a lot going on. There's a lot going on. Lots of things >> Overstimulated. Uh yes, overstimulated definitely. I'm thinking about how like after this I literally still have to work.

[00:01:00]Uh guys, corporate.

[00:01:02]Um but I'm I'm okay. Um I think I'm taking in the state of the world as per usual. And it feels like every week, you know, as we are sort of meeting, it just getting worse. Worse and worse. And I'm like is worse our our base? Dude, I mean I I I was seeing people tweeting about, you know, and posting about you know, if if we get another lockdown, I'm not going to make it. Oh my gosh, guys. Neither am I. The amount of >> Neither am I. The amount of posts that I saw that were like that, I was like, okay.

[00:01:36]>> I literally was just thinking that. I wasn't even seeing posts, but I was Yeah. I was trying not to think about it, but I kept seeing it and I was like, oh my god. Well, I mean, if we get another lockdown, it's like we really need to apply the learnings that we got from the last lockdown We really do. in terms of isolation. Yeah. Please, guys. Because COVID is still very much around, also.

[00:01:59]>> And I think you know, we we've we've kind of we've kind of, you know, we we fell off pretty pretty early.

[00:02:07]Um but I think we really do need to to apply our lessons, Oaks. We we know better. We do.

[00:02:14]We do, and I think I think our country managed it relatively well compared to rest of the world. Um I have faith. Yeah. I have faith. I have faith. We always need to have faith. We have to, yeah. But how how are you? How are you? Um I'm good. I'm excited. I'm in a new chapter of my life. So I'm I'm I'm feeling really good. Um not as energized as I thought I would be, but I think it's because I am feeling a bit down about not being able to run my first marathon now in May anymore. But I think I was having a conversation with myself, and I just reminded myself that the actual goal is to do Comrades. So everything that happens in between doesn't necessarily have to meet a certain date uh for the milestone to be realized. So along the way, there are going to be hiccups. I'm injured right now.

[00:03:07]I'm not trying to put a lot of pressure on myself, so I haven't been running much, which is really not great for my mental because I'm I'm I'm not out there moving my body, which is very important for me.

[00:03:18]So I think that's why I'm not as energized as I typically would be when I'm good. Uh so >> the cause for, you know, all the energy, but I get it. Yeah yeah yeah, but I think I'm going to try. I mean, I've I'm in physio.

[00:03:36]Well, I have my third session yeah tomorrow. So I'm trying I'm trying to try, and I'm going to try to get back into it, get back into my groove, run more frequently. I think April was a bit of a downer.

[00:03:50]Just accepting that I can't do what I had really worked hard towards.

[00:03:55]>> guys, this life is about accepting surrender.

[00:03:57]>> Yeah, so I've surrendered to it and let gave myself some time to feel some type of way and now I'm trying to get myself out of it.

[00:04:07]Um but I think it's a good way for us to introduce our topic for today.

[00:04:14]Today.

[00:04:16]Sure. So season is changing.

[00:04:23]In terms of weather period of the year >> season of the >> and year.

[00:04:29]>> For the longest time, for many, many years, uh this is a topic that we've touched on here before, years ago. But many, many years around this time like May, June, July, August feel so heavy and so down and I would think it was a me problem.

[00:04:51]Like I would chill >> For the longest time, yo. And it was for us >> Worse for us, you know, live well, I don't know how Eastern, you know, in PE how the winter was, but like in Cape Town.

[00:05:01]>> Mhm. Yeah, in Cape Town it's wet. Like wet.

[00:05:04]>> And windy, it's miserable.

[00:05:07]>> so you you you you experiencing all of that and you're like, "Hey, man." Like is it just me that's experiencing it in this way? But also I just have no appetite to do much.

[00:05:17]>> Yeah. Uh even if there isn't something hectic that's happening, I would just be so down.

[00:05:23]>> Yeah. Like you know when you wake up and the day is already uh >> You're like, "Ah, can't wait to go to sleep."

[00:05:27]>> But you're like that every single day.

[00:05:29]Like almost every single day.

[00:05:31]>> For months.

[00:05:31]>> Um and I think it took some time and other people speaking about it for us to realize that there was such a thing as seasonal depression. So I think today what we're going to speak about is how to identify it >> Yes.

[00:05:48]>> for yourself >> Mhm. um and tools or ways to get through it.

[00:05:55]>> Yeah. Right? Because I think sometimes things happen to us and we think they are unique to us and then it's very difficult for us to get the coping strategies that are out there that might apply specifically to what we're experiencing. Cuz the the thing that like we always say yes, it's you you're the one that's experiencing it for the first time. Therefore, it's a unique experience in that way.

[00:06:19]>> Yeah. But it's not universally unique in the way that somebody else has had that experience Yeah. and somebody else has spoken about it in a way that could be helpful to you. Yeah. And we thought because the season is changing And as the season is changing the same Like I I think I said to myself cuz I was like I just got a new J.O.B.

[00:06:39]Yeah.

[00:06:40]Why am I why am I not like energized?

[00:06:43]Like what I was saying now, why am I not energized? Why am I not Yeah, like spring in your step.

[00:06:49]Where is that spring in my step? Would things be different if I got this J.O.B.

[00:06:53]in January? Mhm. Like Yeah, I know. I mean I wonder actually if we look at the weather. I love that we we are now you know we we talk about the weather nothing is cute so it's like Also But at least we don't have hectic rain because there's flooding Yes, there's a lot of rain that's taking place. Yeah. But I mean at this time of the year we don't usually get rain. But as well if you think about how December went and I mean granted we've been we've been getting rains in December for quite some time.

[00:07:24]But if we look at the weather in December, January >> get a lot of rain.

[00:07:28]We did not get it.

[00:07:30]we're kind of going into that season already kind of like That's why I'm like Yeah. And I was also speaking to the whole thing of like there's certain coping strategies that usually work for me in terms of physical exercise, getting some time away from the phone, from communicating with people, from carrying the weight of the world, and just being in tune with my body. Usually really helps, and forcing myself to do that, but I haven't been in the space where I even have the strength for that. Sure.

[00:08:02]>> So, I think because we've spoken about seasonal um >> affective disorder Yes, affective disorder. Maybe you can define it for people or explain it in a way that's easy to understand or in a way that you've experienced it. So, uh yeah, I mean, I'll try and merge everything if I can remember how I had described it in the other episode.

[00:08:22]>> Girl, it's going to be different.

[00:08:23][laughter] It's been 7 years. It's been 200 years, literally.

[00:08:27]Um but essentially, it's when um the seasons change or weather changes um for a prolonged period, and you effectively start experiencing, you know, uh uh signs of depression, effectively. Uh um um you're down, you you kind of not energized, you know, all the different signs for depression that, you know, uh people experience. Um but most times, you know, it it not most times, let me not say that, but, you know, I think we often think it's tied to, okay, no, because I have been previously diagnosed as, you know, and I'm treating it that it doesn't come and go, but I realized that uh um you know, it actually is one of those things that that it does come and go. And also, I realized it's very much not like seasonal as in winter, autumn, you know, all of that.

[00:09:19]It's actually just within a period of time. I've noticed it, you know, those times where we have rain for like a full week.

[00:09:26]>> Yes, yes. I am not okay. My mood.

[00:09:29]>> And I always externalize the emotion that I'm feeling, right? So, I'll be like, yo, I'm in such a funk because we can't do the laundry, these clothes are all over. This, this, this. And I'll make it about like the things that aren't happening.

[00:09:42]Um instead of actually taking stock of the fact that this is affecting me.

[00:09:46]Literally.

[00:09:47]>> Like this this gloomy thing is affecting me cuz sometimes we or most times we'll speak about a nice rainy day. Oh. Like the perfect scenario is you're booked off sick on your leave and then it starts to rain and you're literally in bed watching something.

[00:10:04]Like and then there's a warm meal, you know.

[00:10:07]>> But then it happens for a week and it feels like a sleepover that you can't leave. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:10:14]>> So I think that's what we're speaking about. The sleepover where your parents aren't coming to pick you up and you've been waiting. There are no special guests coming to be like, "Hey girl, let's let's go outside for a little bit."

[00:10:27]>> seven uh seasons of the series that you're watching and >> you've slept your life away. Like for me I one of the the ways that I know like, "Okay, I'm within." It's wanting to sleep all the time. Like when I wake up immediately I'm like, "Can't wait to go back to sleep." It's quite interesting cuz I really struggle to sleep and go.

[00:10:50]Really? I my mind Oh, yeah. Well I Well I sometimes I I I get those but yeah, no. I I like to just if it's too much I think yeah, I get to that point where I Now it's just I've done too much. I've I'm overwhelmed. So usually I when I experience like extreme emotion I then just want to sleep most times. So so even with that where it gets so extreme, you know, that feeling of like uh sadness that like lethargy. I definitely get lethargic for sure. Um for me it's wanting to sleep like literally just thinking about sleep.

[00:11:29]Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep. Um I wake up in the morning and I'm like, "Oh, I really just cannot wait. It's like the end of the work day and I'm like, I'm counting down the hours until it's like 8:00 or 9:00 when I can start, you know, winding down.

[00:11:44]And and yeah, like there's nothing that upsets me more. Also, you know, during during winter especially when I wake up in the wee hours of the morning because I'm going to struggle to go back to sleep and it's like I really wanted to sleep because I don't want to I don't want to deal with all of this. It's so interesting that I My my first [clears throat] sign of of of of not being okay is my poor sleep hygiene.

[00:12:09]So, I know that I'm going through it when I can't sleep. Ah, yes. Um and so I I'll sleep at let's say 3:00 a.m. Yeah, ooh. 3:00 a.m. and then 6:00, 7:00 I'm up. Oh. I can't sleep.

[00:12:25]Um and also a big thing for me is clothes all over. Oh, yes. Oh. Clothes and I'm like, I it always makes me feel like I've lost control. And already it's cold. So, you you're wearing extra clothing. So, that makes it even worse.

[00:12:40]It just it makes me feel like I've lost control. Like right now because last week was quite rainy and then the weekend was fine. Um and then it's just been cold. You You Your mind Your brain works so weirdly where it's like, "Okay, it's cold. So, let me not do laundry."

[00:12:57]But it's not raining, babe.

[00:12:58]>> Yeah.

[00:13:01]But my mind is like it's so I've just got so much laundry right now and it's making me lose my mind.

[00:13:07]>> Yeah. You kind of feel like you don't have any control anymore because it's just it's so much.

[00:13:12]>> Yes, yes. And I used to always think my grand was just so hectic with how she is about "Okay, make sure your laundry is done. Make sure your the clothes in your wardrobe are actually folded and ironed." Cuz that's another thing like Yes, it makes a difference.

[00:13:27]>> I know. I've lost absolute control if my clothes are not ironed.

[00:13:32]>> Yep, that's me.

[00:13:33]>> So, like I know some people it's it's actually quite interesting to see. Some people iron as they go. So, they'll literally iron every single time they get dressed.

[00:13:43]>> I I can't. Like my clothes have to be ironed. I need to be able to see them.

[00:13:47]And my wardrobe has to be packed.

[00:13:49]>> Um and I know I'm I'm need to see the lady about the head once it starts being messy in those departments. Yeah. But the thing is the most difficult thing is the amount of shame that you feel when you're losing that control over the things that help you feel balanced. Especially when you like you know what you're saying about the things that make you feel balanced, but as well the things that we consider as like critical or basic hygiene.

[00:14:18]>> Yes, yes. Ooh, that's that's a big conversation to have, especially >> Listen.

[00:14:24]>> Yeah. Personally, it's also just a thing of like getting up, always wanting to sleep, but also not wanting to get up and shower.

[00:14:34]>> in in in what we Yes, in in in what we consider basic hygiene because >> Yeah. I think there's a really important conversation to be had about the performance of hygiene.

[00:14:44]>> Yes, yeah. And how much shame that adds on when you go through these experiences where you're actually not in a position to look after your body in a certain way. Yeah, in in the way that we've described.

[00:14:58]>> because I I I've seen already people talking about oh guys, don't forget to use roll-on when when you're wearing multiple layers and all of that. And I'm just thinking in the year of 2026, Guys.

[00:15:10]have we not made the connection between hygiene and mental health? Like Uh I I don't understand >> Come on, brother.

[00:15:18]>> why. But like what you were speaking to in terms of there are so many people that experience this thing of just not wanting to engage with I don't even want to call it looking after their body but with the prescribed hygiene rituals that we're supposed to to do. So a lot of people during this time will experience some level of depression and that might make you not feel like brushing your teeth. And not just feel like in the flimsy kind of feel like but you are unable to. You are unable to wake up shower, eat just a basic routine cannot be carried out. Yeah, even me the eating one.

[00:16:04]First to go. Disaster. First to go.

[00:16:07]So I think you actually brought up a on on on hygiene what what you were talking about and I think we're so because we're so prescriptive and so like rigid about when you wake up you must you know floss whatever brush your teeth mouthwash tongue scrape when you shower you must start with a bar yeah and then shower gel then shower oil then don't don't then when you moisturize Like there's there's basic hygiene and then there's the performance of hygiene.

[00:16:42]Because also when we look if we're to assess the products you're using are they antibacterial because that's the that's the crucial thing. That's what we actually need. Which you can get from the bar of soap or you can get from the shower gel. Exactly. Like that everything else is literally a performance and it's fine everything is a performance in general but being prescriptive in a way of suggesting that other people are less than for not engaging their own rituals in hygiene rituals the way that you do is interesting in a derogatory way. And we internalize that stuff. We 100% do because I mean, I was thinking about that and I was like, okay. Well, I mean, as I've gotten, you know, a a older, um I was like, okay, maybe I may not be in the mood for a shower immediately when I get up. What can I do that's hygiene-ish where I can feel like, you know, I cleaned something where I can be like, okay, I at least accomplished that. Like I think I had to start kind of breaking down these things in chunks to say, okay, what can I do that I can be able to say, I ticked this box in a sense without having done that full thing in the way that I usually do in the way that is, you know, sort of expected of me. But I think as well, like guys, you're at home with yourself, hey? Don't What are you doing? Huh?

[00:18:10]Feeling shame.

[00:18:13]How would they know? But also, it's like [laughter] Why must we be I know this is going to be a wild one.

[00:18:20]Sorry to you guys.

[00:18:21]>> this is going to be a wild one. Sorry, you guys. Y'all What must we be so scared about not smelling good to other people? Like, I don't know. Like, bro, when you think about it, it's like, why is this such a stressful thing? Talking about, no, you should care about how you smell to yourself. I don't care about how I smell to myself. That's the point. so much is going on. Yeah. And actually, I don't care any other day, but So, like, why must I now care when it's me in the comfort of my home going through my things? I must be thinking, oh, no. Somebody How would they know?

[00:18:51]How would they know? That you didn't bath. Oh. For one day. For one day.

[00:18:55]Exactly. And even if it goes into those two, three days, you know, we we don't know. When you are in a situation, don't feel shame. No. Don't feel shame. Yeah.

[00:19:05]That That's really what we're trying to say, please, guys. That's That's really what we're trying to say. Yeah. Saying, don't feel shame if you are not feeling like yourself and you are unable to do these things during these trying times that we are about to get into with winter coming. Hey, listen. So so so yeah, I think I wanted to just like zero in on that like hygiene one because that one is a big one. I think it needs its own episode because >> industrial complex?

[00:19:33]>> It's also tied so much to expression in terms of oh, you're a young lady, you should be using a perfume. You should be using a body mist. Oh, now you should be >> to prescribing the the the scent a family that you should use depending on the seasons.

[00:19:52]These are These are suggestions. These are suggestions. Oh, we should be Let me rather say we should be using them as suggestions. Unfortunately, we use them as prescriptions.

[00:20:00]>> people are so prescriptive about these things.

[00:20:03]>> We bug each other down on those things to be like, oh, but why aren't you doing We've spoken about this now. Why are you Like why are you Why are you guys still smelling like caramel?

[00:20:13]Close your nose, actually. [laughter] Close your nose. At this point, I'm about to ask everybody close their noses, which is totally impossible.

[00:20:20]Um I mean, I I I appreciate the experience of somebody passing by and they smell really nice, but it's not critical.

[00:20:27]>> like the most important thing in the world.

[00:20:30]Be mindful of that. Also, be mindful of how you communicate about your experience of other people and their bodies during times like this because I think we rarely speak outside of our necks.

[00:20:44]When you got like under the sun all day, you smelling like soap.

[00:20:48]Babe, have you seen the price of perfume? And also, maybe some people don't want to smell like Like maybe they don't want to smell anything else. They >> [laughter] >> They want to smell like soap. They like that smell. Like leave people alone. And maybe people are still finding their their their their scent, you know? I think there's also just that aspect because now also But also, why must I have a scent? And why must we all smell the same as well? That's also my thing where I'm like You see that's my issue.

[00:21:13]You know, never mind. We'll have a conversation about this, a proper one.

[00:21:17]>> About hygiene.

[00:21:17]>> that for squeeze it in next week.

[00:21:19]>> Absolutely. But but I mean what I wanted to ask was we we have spoken around some of the signs. I mean eating, that's one thing we we definitely struggle with we struggle with that one.

[00:21:32]How do you How do you Have you gone to a point where you can communicate where you've you've spotted that, okay, I think I'm going through this. I need to tell the people around me. I need to socialize people around me or is it a case of yeah.

[00:21:48]>> Let me let you finish your question.

[00:21:49]>> No, I was going to like you know when You were going to go in. So I don't think I'm I'm good at communicating it, but I think the people around me can tell certain signals. Because I do this very toxic thing of I will create the mess or contribute to the mess and then when I'm lucid like the corner and then I'm I'm taking off my clothes and throwing them on the bean bag. And not like folding, okay, this one I can wear again. Okay, this one needs to go into the washing basket. Not doing that for certain period of time and then a week in I realize, oh my gosh, like I'm falling back into that cycle of creating mess cuz I'm not feeling okay emotionally cuz of the state of the world, cuz of the weather, because of whatever's affecting me during that period.

[00:22:38]>> Yeah.

[00:22:39]And then I'll just lose my mind and clean.

[00:22:42]Like a lot of people speak about women just randomly being in a cleaning mode.

[00:22:47]I do that and I don't communicate and then after I clean I'm so strict to everyone else. Like pick up your shoes.

[00:22:55]Like babe, like you left your shoes on the floor yesterday.

[00:22:58]>> For a smooth 2 weeks. Like literally >> [laughter] >> you came home, you took off your shoes, you left them in the lounge, you wore other shoes. Why are you shouting at us?

[00:23:08]So I know I'm the problem in that way.

[00:23:10][laughter] I get you. I get you. I get what you mean.

[00:23:14]But I think also In other ways I've been able to pick up Like the the sleep hygiene once it starts slipping because that will always affect everything else. Like whether it's on the side of you want to sleep a lot or you don't you're not sleeping at all. It's going to affect your productivity throughout the day and that's going to It's very difficult to control but that's going to seep into your self-esteem and all of that because you don't feel like you're contributing as well as you know you could and also you You know what you're capable of and you know how you are when you're okay. So it's so for me the first signal is my sleep hygiene and I always try work on that to get myself to sleep more. Or sleep a healthy amount because then it always feels like that resets everything else.

[00:24:04]The more I sleep the more energized I am when I wake up then I can go exercise or I have enough space in the day to quickly tidy up and get my work done and all of that. So it all starts with my sleep hygiene.

[00:24:19]But communicating it to my people I have not.

[00:24:23]I have absolutely not. Very good point cuz I I I think I'm I'm just as bad.

[00:24:30]Granted I live on my own but yeah I mean even with the people that I speak to whether it's on a daily or whatever I don't know if I really communicated on some like okay guys well yeah no I don't think so. I think when I spot it in the moment and I realize oh this is what I'm cuz most times I'm like I won't lie like I don't I don't really pick it up immediately until like what you're saying you know when you really sit and you're like, "Oh, oh, oh, the season, this, this, this." You know, for me usually I just take stock. I most times what I do, I when I feel like, "No, man, I'm feeling some type of way.

[00:25:10]This might be outside of what I'm currently experiencing or going through." I then take stock. Like, "Okay, what about this life? What about my life right now?"

[00:25:20]>> Yes. It's so depressing that I can be in an episode.

[00:25:24]>> Literally, because sometimes you'll your life will be going so well.

[00:25:28]>> Yeah.

[00:25:28]>> So well, but your feelings are like >> [screaming] >> And so most times I I've had to start, you know, doing that. I do that when I'm when I'm PMSing and I don't realize it.

[00:25:37]And you know, I'm in my feelings.

[00:25:39]>> before. Yeah, like >> Because for some reason now, it's like I ain't better now. When do we get a break? Because it's literally like the week before your period, you're going through it. The week of your period, you're going through it. The week after your period, you're going through it.

[00:25:53]And then it's the week before your >> before your literally. So, when are we supposed to be fine?

[00:26:00]>> to unlock. We need to unlock that conversation around these cycles. I am I've had enough. Like, and it's getting shorter.

[00:26:07]>> I feel like yes, it's getting shorter, but it's more hectic.

[00:26:10]>> Yeah.

[00:26:10]But I feel like mine is emotionally it's really horrible in winter. Yes, absolutely. Oh, same. I Same. It takes so much to regulate my emotions and then I only realize Yeah. the day it hits.

[00:26:24]>> Yes, that Or the day it comes that this is why >> Mhm. I trials and tribulations.

[00:26:29]>> What I'm experiencing right now.

[00:26:31]Literally, literally my situation where uh I I mostly spot it after I'm like, "Oh, okay, I'm taking stock. There's nothing going on in my life that gives depressed." You know, so That warrants these feelings.

[00:26:45]>> Then that's when I go, "Oh, okay, I'm experiencing, you know, whether it's seasonal depression or it's PMS or whatever it is.

[00:26:54]Um and that that's when I I'm like, "Okay, yeah guys."

[00:26:57]Yeah, tis the season. Um and I think just like what you said, a lot of the people in my life are aware. You know, I think we've we've been in each other's lives for long enough. Um you know, that it's just one of those things where you know, I winter Misho's least favorite season and I definitely complain like outwardly about it. You know, and I and I always say like you know, and people always ask me like, "No, why don't you like winter?" And I'm like, "Because I'm in a mood." But also, why would you?

[00:27:28]Who cares about the drip? Uh, I don't know, guys. I don't care.

[00:27:31]>> It's so difficult to sustain even that drip because when are your clothes going to dry?

[00:27:36]>> They they must dry. I must wash I must wash them. I must fold them. I must iron them.

[00:27:40]No, guys. You see, it it contributes to this higi haga we're talking about.

[00:27:45]But but uh um yeah, I think I think communicating it directly to say, "Guys, I've never been in my life. I just traumatize the people around me. Like I'm toxic from that perspective. I can own it. Maybe it's something I'll work on and maybe at the end of winter Yeah.

[00:28:01]um this year we'll be able to say, "This winter I was able to communicate in this and this way." But in terms of me being able to identify that A to see you Yeah, you're going under. You're going under is literally sleep. Yeah. And then fixing that, but also always making sure that I get enough time outside Yeah. and I move my body. Because if you're going to listen to winter and just stay inside the house, being in the bed under the blanket, not interact with people, Bad idea. not the goody. Because then you are literally isolated and that voice that is telling you your life is miserable has so much space. Whereas when you busy out and about doing stuff and it doesn't need to be stuff that is expensive or financially taxing. Sometimes it's going for a walk if you have the privilege of having a space where you can do that.

[00:28:55]Sometimes it's just walking next door and having a conversation with the your next door neighbor.

[00:28:59]>> I I like Ember up on the walks in winter like because my body is is a cyclist and I was staying in the house. It's cold.

[00:29:06]>> to go through it.

[00:29:08]>> Like like isolating yourself when you are when you have feelings that you can't place is one of the worst things to do. Yeah. Um to yourself because you the human mind will want to rationalize those feelings and you've got nothing that is challenging them. Nothing that is new that you are experiencing.

[00:29:27]It will kill you.

[00:29:28]>> Oh, I I haven't I haven't, you know, found myself in one of those in a while, but I recently did and that was also the first time in a long time and I think it's sometime in December. I think it was just Yeah, I finally took leave and I think the year was starting to descend on >> [laughter] >> Like the year was it did really really well, but as it is it is what it is. [clears throat] Um [laughter] Like I think yeah, the year was kind of coming down on me. Like I'm now starting to think I've got all this time. I'm like sleeping natural and center. I think at some point I was house sitting, you know, alone while my family was was, you know, out in the Kruger. So, I think I just I was thinking a little too much.

[00:30:12]I'm processing. I almost broke my brain.

[00:30:15]I almost broke my brain. I was like, do I need to Do I need to go >> interesting point that you raised because I remember reflecting on December and just not being excited about going home. Oh, yeah.

[00:30:31]>> Not being like not feeling the Christmas spirit. Just I last year thinking too many thoughts like what you're saying now. Yeah, no. So, I I get what you're saying and when you're alone you're going to to it so much.

[00:30:45]>> It's It's It's It's even worse, and I mean, I work from home to add on to to to the the mess. Thankfully, you know, I think it it it it helps a lot that I'm It work keeps me busy. Like, I have to interact.

[00:31:00]>> some benefits because it's like, I don't feel like waking up and showering today.

[00:31:04]So, imagine if I had to go to the office.

[00:31:06]>> Guys, I had to perform hygiene. Before Before Before COVID pulled up, those were Those were tough days.

[00:31:14]>> were really tough days. And I mean, I I am I remember when, you know, that was happening while I was also, you know, dealing with so much of the anxiety around work, around being at work, and the things that you're experiencing, whether it's bullying, whatever it is. Add on to the you know, the fact that there's there's the the seasonal affective disorder or depression. Add on to that that like, you have to wake up earlier.

[00:31:40]Maybe for me, I had to wake up I had to wake up earlier because I also had to wake up so I can spend an hour or something to go away, you know, before I start, you know, you know, getting ready and then eventually leaving.

[00:31:52]But, I mean, it it was When I think about it, I'm like, yo, guys, it helps a great deal. At the same time, I'm like, you know, there's a part of me that's like, perhaps as well getting up, needing to get up, and needing to perform the hygiene, the basic hygiene, and and getting up and going to the office probably would would help. I think now it's it's just a little bit better because I know better. I've been I've been experiencing >> experiencing, and you you you've identified it. So, you know it for You've known it for quite. But, I think that that feeds really well into my concluding questions because CQ.

[00:32:32]>> [laughter] >> For you touched on something. For the person who is having their first winter Ooh.

[00:32:41]at the office and is feeling these feelings that we were describing now.

[00:32:45]>> Yeah.

[00:32:46]What would you recommend to them for them to get through it? To get through it. So, what I would recommend um to get through it is one, if you do need that hour, that extra hour to to go through your things before you get ready, just do it. Do it. Give yourself that, you know, because I think you're also not You're not helping yourself if you're beating yourself up about needing time to to whether it's to regulate yourself, whether it's to defrost or whatever. But, I think um as much as you must allow yourself that, I think it's also about using that time wisely. And I I don't want us to get bogged down in I wasn't productive. I didn't do Just in a sense of okay, I'm processing emotions. I'm regulating myself, whether you're using it for meditation to pray, to to I don't know, journal before you start the day.

[00:33:41]Give yourself that.

[00:33:42]>> a pre-day. Have a Yeah, have a pre-day ritual. I think I think that's really helpful, but I think what I'm saying is have a pre-day ritual, but don't make it just about wallowing in that, you know, because I think for the longest time for me it was like I'm Every day I'm going to get up and I'm going to melt down.

[00:33:59]I'm going to And there was no sense of like, okay, do we say affirmations? Do we You know, how about I empower myself? Perhaps [clears throat] Maybe try and try and use that time >> Do a blossom. Yeah.

[00:34:12]Pla Yeah, like >> blossom gospel. Yeah, like like do something that isn't wallowing, you know, just wallowing. I think you definitely can You definitely can freak out if you need to, but just remember to bring yourself back. Um move your body.

[00:34:27]Please do. You know, ooh, that that's definitely a crucial one. I suppose when >> the most important thing So crucial.

[00:34:33]>> we can all do for ourselves.

[00:34:35]>> So so so crucial. Um don't sleep on that.

[00:34:38]>> And moving your body doesn't mean these intense things. It literally can be a 5-minute walk. Can be a 10-minute walk.

[00:34:44]It can be you watching something on YouTube and moving your body to it. It can be you shaking your ass in front of the speaker. Just moving your body.

[00:34:54]Literally. Literally, that's it. Um don't let go of your like the things that your interests.

[00:35:03]>> Mhm. Because the weather is like, you know, >> [laughter] >> because the weather's, you know, cold or whatever. Like it's easy to not want to show up for your >> that trap.

[00:35:12]>> rehearsal, for your >> or your run or whatever.

[00:35:15]>> Pilates class, your pole class. All of these things. It's it's, you know, try and keep stick to your commitments regardless of the discomfort, regardless of the weather. And then I think, you know, socialize. Um I'm definitely guilty of, you know, not wanting to socialize cuz I just want to be in the house and like, "Oh, you know, it's so cold and I have to get up and I have to put on layers and oh, I'd rather be at home." But personally, um I mean, I we have a a winter hike club because, you know, it's it's hot in summer, but I think, you know, when I when I really think about it, it's actually really helpful because it it forces us to get out.

[00:35:52]>> Do something. Yeah. You have to get out.

[00:35:54]So, you know, we usually on Saturdays we meet up Saturday morning. We meet up. We um like one day in the in the month. Um We meet up. We hike. And then afterwards we, you know, socialize. Um and then everybody goes home. And there, you know, you are then filled. You you feel like, "Okay, I I I at least interacted with people. I wasn't just on my own."

[00:36:19]Um so so that's what I would I I would say. Like I think if you can find, you know, a group of like-minded people who want to to hike, who want to walk, who want to do these things.

[00:36:30]Um I would definitely recommend it.

[00:36:32]Um yeah, and and be warm. I don't know. Be warm. Be warm. Be warm. What would you What would you recommend?

[00:36:38]>> me it's like get the help that you need. Yeah. The help that is accessible to you, take it. Take your vitamins. If it must be vitamins that are going to help you get through because it is moving from it being optional, your productivity, to you having to be productive for certain amount of time during the week is a huge shift.

[00:37:04]>> Yeah. Having to then do that during a time where you just like, "Oh, it's it's so cold. I don't feel great. This weather's horrible. I'm miserable. Like I'm you know?" It's going to be very very tough. So the things that you can get help with, get help for them.

[00:37:23]>> If it means and paying people fairly and equally, means getting a helper to help you or domestic worker to assist with your clothing, your laundry, your ironing, whatever that it is that is struggling and you feeling that you lack control over, get that help because it will make such a huge difference. And there are people who are professionally trained to do that. And they exist and you can access that labor fairly. Um I'm actually nodding in agreement with that. from you because that's a huge part of huge how you you can feel that your your life is spinning cuz once you lose control of how the upkeep of your space, Yeah. you you absolutely feel like I definitely feel that. you don't know left from right. So >> Excuse me, that to me would be one of the things that are really key. If you can afford to do it in a fair way.

[00:38:25]Number one. Number two, like you said, moving your body and finding people to do that with you is very, very key.

[00:38:34]They hold you accountable.

[00:38:36]And it's so good for your mental health, especially when it's just so gloomy and you can find yourself feeling like you didn't do anything the whole day. Like especially on weekends. And that's just it's not a nice feeling.

[00:38:50]When Sunday comes, you're tired but you didn't do anything that you can point to that makes you feel like oh wow, I actually accomplished this this weekend or I got this done or whatever. But also sometimes you need those weekends where you don't get anything done. So there's that balance as well. And then I think number three, I would literally say a lot of workplaces have assistants in place.

[00:39:16]We don't use those resources enough.

[00:39:20]They definitely will be a third party that you can speak to about how you're feeling that you will have access to as very professional in most corporate spaces. So tap into that as well because sometimes you might think that what you're feeling is extremely isolated or it's nothing but like Michelle said, sometimes life is going well but you have this feeling and you can't place it anywhere and having a word with a professional that you would have access through access to via work or via a local clinic can make such a huge difference. So I think one of the mistakes that we really make is not reaching out for help because we think what we're feeling is too minor.

[00:40:05]But sometimes that feeling can grow into so much when we are not intentional about it not existing or not taking up too much space. So yes, so that would be the most important thing for me because we spoke about how sometimes you just not feel like even showering.

[00:40:22]>> Yeah. And in social settings like an office, it can become such a big thing when it shouldn't be.

[00:40:27]>> Yeah. Yeah. Like where people now weaponize your personal hygiene against you instead of having an adult and reasonable conversation with you. Now all of a sudden you're feeling isolated and all these other things because you're not realizing that what you're feeling and how it's impacting how you move your physical body and what you do is now causing this weird social element within your workplace or professional life. Yeah. So >> that now that you mentioned that I I I was going to mention around that that element of the hygiene part where it's like make the necessary accommodations you know to to be able to if you need to step out of the house to be able to to to have performed the hygiene without putting yourself perhaps in a situation where you really just Yeah, like something you really don't want to.

[00:41:22]>> Yeah. There's actually a creator I will try and find them somewhere. I need to just look for them, but they usually provide really really cool you know like tips and tricks and what not for for disabled people or people who are recovering, you know, you bedridden essentially or people who are actually depressed like she actually says like if you are going through a funk, these are some you know >> [clears throat] >> funk.

[00:41:50]These are some you know these are some tips you know some some tools that you can use. So she suggests you know certain products that you can use instead of you know if you don't feel like doing a full shower. She she does those kind of things certain deodorants and you know the the ingredients >> Different options that exist to help you when you need the support.

[00:42:11]>> you when you need the support. So So I will try and share that.

[00:42:16]But but try and accommodate, you know, yourself where you can.

[00:42:21]I think at the crux of this is being kind to yourself. The most important thing is being kind to yourself. And sometimes the kindest thing you can do is actually seek out help. Or giving yourself a better chance this year than last year by being able to identify the things that cause you to spiral. Or key signs that oh, I'm about to, you know, go under. And I think outside of the hygiene factor, there's also the social element to it in terms of classical, how do we treat those around us?

[00:42:56]>> be mindful, guys. Yes, yes, because let's be mindful. We can sometimes lose crucial, important relationships because we were in such a funk that we started to treat people really carelessly.

[00:43:09]So that's That's another thing. And that that happens a lot during times like this or during periods like this where you cannot explain why you have certain feelings. And that makes you short with the rest of the world because you're feeling a frustration with yourself. So those would be my top tips. Please let us know how you get through the winter blues.

[00:43:32]And what you would recommend to others to get through it. Please comment, like, subscribe. We really really love your comments across all the platforms.

[00:43:43]I was going to do that today. Yeah, love it. Like, why am I so itchy like my whole body is itchy today?

[00:43:49]>> It's winter. It's also the season of dry skin.

[00:43:53]Someone's going to say it's cuz you didn't lotion.

[00:43:57]And that's fine. I don't care if they think I don't lotion. [laughter] Like I'm like I don't care if they think I don't lotion.

[00:44:02]>> my ash have to do with you?

[00:44:03]>> if you see me with ashy feet. Like I I genuinely don't care. Like, it adds no value. Sorry, guys.

[00:44:11]>> But, please, continue to leave comments. Yes.

[00:44:14]Continue to engage. And, yeah. Thank you. Yeah.

[00:44:19]Yeah, like, comment, subscribe.

[00:44:22]Check us out every Monday. We drop every Monday on Spotify. Audio and video. And then, Thursday is YouTube. So, yeah. And everywhere else. So, so yeah, check us out. My name is Misha. My name is Ntsiki.

[00:44:36]>> listening to Sisterhood of the Traveling Go.

[00:44:42]>> [music] [music]