One By One: People Are Snapping

Added: 2026-05-27

[00:00:00]There's a reason why it feels like everybody is snapping. It goes beyond just the online world as well, or politics, or family, or work, or even relationships. It's just absolutely everywhere right now, and it feels like people are becoming worse every day.

[00:00:14]But, that's not actually what's happening. They're actually not worse.

[00:00:17]They're just becoming overwhelmed. Every culture has an emotional bandwidth, and when it runs out, people's reactions start to run very hot and fast and sharp, and they become wildly out of proportion to the moment.

[00:00:31]So, if this is what you're experiencing and seeing around you, it's not your imagination. We are witnessing en masse a moment when the system is about to hit its limit. Let's talk about it.

[00:00:47]I'm just going to call it bandwidth.

[00:00:49]It's not emotional intelligence. It's not morality. It's not anything about what people are like these days. It's just bandwidth.

[00:00:58]And for years, people have been carrying more than they can process. And I know that a lot of people are going to be able to identify with this moment. Um, they're they're processing too much information, too much uncertainty.

[00:01:11]There's all this kind of micro crisis that's happening constantly throughout the day, wherever you go. There's too many shifting rules and and too much bureaucracy and too many things to consider, and there are too many things that are just demanding our constant attention.

[00:01:28]And because bandwidth has just become so consumed, and it's sitting at the point where it's about to burst, it actually is starting to crack and fail.

[00:01:38]Reactivity is on the rise. People are just reacting like bonfires to everything, and the threshold between being okay and being kind of seriously not okay is very fine, very thin.

[00:01:52]So, a spark that used to, you know, kind of fly through the air and fizzle out on contact is now setting fire every time.

[00:02:00]The spark itself isn't the problem because life is colorful, man, and there's going to be sparks of good and sparks of bad. What's different now, though, is that the air is really dry and brittle. And so it's like we're living in this huge pile of old leaves that are out in the garden, and every time a spark floats around and ends up in that pile, it just ignites and burns really fast. That's the reason why really small comments become arguments on the internet, but even in family dynamic and relationships, or minor inconveniences become total meltdowns. You know, all of these Karen videos that people keep putting up on the internet, those are really just people who've reached their bandwidth. If you're actually a reasonable person, it's not entertainment. That is witnessing bandwidth um corruption and breakage.

[00:02:52]So, even people who are ordinarily quite steady are feeling this sense of volatility inside them. Sometimes it's just under the surface and they can feel it.

[00:03:05]The snapping isn't a random thing when they do snap. It's a structural thing.

[00:03:10]Now, I have lived this pattern myself and I'm going to tell you a story, but I'm not going to get into the wild specifics. Years ago, and actually it was almost 20 years ago to the day, a woman that I'd never seen before, she made a slight error in judgement.

[00:03:28]What happened was my dog and her dog had an interaction and they didn't get on, and they had one of those moments that dogs sometimes have, and nobody got hurt. And for some reason, this woman responded by making a very personal and offensive comment about my physical appearance.

[00:03:45]She was obviously the kind of personality who has no issue whatsoever attacking a person's visible vulnerabilities to be cruel or to feel as though she's won some kind of competition, whatever it is that that, you know, floats her boat. It was such an out-of-context kind of deliberately cruel comment from a stranger that it actually shocked me for a moment, and I started to walk away, which is what I would normally do.

[00:04:13]I wouldn't bother confronting her, but then suddenly something inside me snapped.

[00:04:19]And that was bandwidth. The bandwidth just snapped. So, what I did was I did what people do when they snap. I doubled back, and I found her. And by the time I found her, she had met up with other people that she was now standing with rather than being alone.

[00:04:36]They were, you know, part of her group, which made this move this moment in time even more out of character for me cuz normally I wouldn't even go there. But hey, you know what? Not on this particular day. On this day, I kind of called out to her and said, "Excuse me.

[00:04:49]Excuse me." She turned around. In fact, all of her group turned around. And then I started.

[00:04:57]I said to her, "You know, lady, a moment ago you thought it would be a really good idea to attack my physical appearance because you thought it was a vulnerability. You don't even know me.

[00:05:07]But you know, that's okay. You've set the bar now, so let's continue. Let's see what your vulnerabilities are right now, shall we?"

[00:05:16]And then in front of her group, the and also random people in the street, and in fact, by the time I was done, there were people looking through their windows to see what on earth was happening in the street. I began listing every vulnerability that a person might be hiding.

[00:05:34]The things that nobody ever wants anyone else to see about them.

[00:05:39]And then I turned around, and when I was done, I just walked away. I was able to walk away because I felt done, and I didn't feel guilty about it. I didn't In In fact, I kind of felt like it was marvelous.

[00:05:51]And even now, when I'm recalling the story, I can picture it in my mind and it really was marvelous. But most importantly, it just felt like I was done.

[00:06:00]It's now been 20 years, almost to the day, and I've never had another moment like it.

[00:06:05]But that day taught me a few things.

[00:06:07]Firstly, it taught me that the woman probably learned a few lessons in that moment, and maybe next time she won't be quite so confident about trying to hurt a random stranger.

[00:06:17]I also learned that the moment wasn't about anger. It was about capacity. And something finally hit that one nerve inside me that had been holding everything together and carrying way too much for too long.

[00:06:31]And that was bandwidth. It was my bandwidth nerve. And because I can see that pattern, I don't need to snap anymore. So, you know, sometimes I get comments from people about all kinds of things. Sometimes bad things happen, but I'm not really a snappy person because I can see the pattern now. And when I see a person like that, I can see the pattern that relates to them rather than anything to do with me. It's generally about them.

[00:06:57]So, I don't need to get swallowed up inside that pattern, right? I can see it for what it is from a safe distance. So, let's take this little nugget from my life, which I now know a lot of people watching may be able to identify with on a variety of different levels, and let's use it to zoom out a little bit. Okay.

[00:07:17]Millions of people are walking around with no buffer left. They don't have any more emotional slack at all available to them.

[00:07:26]They're at their bandwidth capacity, and just like that big pile of dry leaves that are out in the garden, it's a society of very, very dry leaves.

[00:07:37]And that's why everything feels flammable right now. That's the reason why public conversations escalate so quickly and instantly, and that's why social media platforms feel a bit like pressure cookers, regardless of which one you go to these days. Even companies are feeling it. Do you remember when you used to be able to just go and get customer service from a company?

[00:08:00]And now it's really hard to find that customer service. It's been replaced by all kinds of things, rigid scripts, defensive language, redirects to things like company policy. They don't want to talk to you on the phone anymore because they haven't got bandwidth. So, they put you onto a chatbot instead. The whole point is to avoid dealing with people directly because of the lack of bandwidth that everyone has. The whole culture is a tinderbox of emotions.

[00:08:26]We're not actually in the era of chaos anymore. We have been watching that unfold for many years already. We're now in the era of bandwidth collapse.

[00:08:37]Think of it as having four separate phases. You've got the compression phase. This is when people are holding onto much more than they can process.

[00:08:44]And then you've got the snapping phase.

[00:08:46]This is where reactions become really sharp and less predictable and kind of are happening en masse, a little bit like popcorn popping in a pot. It's one person, two people, then it's 10, then it's 20, then it's 100, then it's 1,000.

[00:08:59]And then we get to the third phase, and that's recalibration. This is when people start seeking stability and clarity and emotional leadership, real leadership. And that's when we can get to the fourth stage, which is the rebuilding stage. This is when the new normal finally starts to become apparent and begins to form around us based on what actually works. We're currently in phase two.

[00:09:27]That snapping that we see all around us is a signal that the system that we've been living in for a really long time is getting ready to shift into something else.

[00:09:37]And that means something really important. The people who can stay steady right now in this moment, in this phase two of our existence, and I'm not talking about being calm or being perfect or anything like that, just steady, you know?

[00:09:52]These people become the anchors for everyone else.

[00:09:56]So, if you can be one of the people who sees the dry leaves all around you and the sparks that are kind of flying around that come and go, and if you can see how it forms a pattern that can be recognized, then you don't have to react to every spark with a fire of your own.

[00:10:15]Instead, what you can do is you can be one of those people who stays one step ahead of every fire. While everyone else is snapping, you can be one of those people who is already recalibrating into your phase four and rebuilding something new.

[00:10:33]Welcome to the new world. If you enjoyed today's show, then you can also find me on Patreon. This is Ellie Dreams and Under. I love knowing you're here, and I'll see you in my dreams.

[00:10:43]Bye.