This video analyzes the Mackenzie Shirilla documentary to illustrate how dysfunctional family dynamics, including parental denial, lack of accountability, and manipulation, can contribute to the development of Cluster B personality traits such as emotional dysregulation, lack of empathy, and external locus of control in individuals.
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Deep Dive
Psychologist Breaks Down Mackenzie Shirilla and Her ParentsAdded:
Welcome back to the channel as always.
I've missed you. I'm traveling with my family right now and I just watched the Crash documentary on Netflix and and I I have so many thoughts, but I want to be really clear about what I am doing here and what I'm not doing here. I am not going to weigh in on whether or not she did it or if it was intentional. I'm not a legal expert, not a lawyer. Uh and I would say that the the courts have kind of already decided that what I want to talk about is from a psychological standpoint like what do we see in like in my mind it's really there there's two camps. One is what do we see in her parents both from their behaviors and from their kind of style and attitude and what did we see from McKenzie in her style and attitude. If you're new here, my name is David Colaros. I'm a licensed psychologist and I use events in pop culture like this documentary to talk about psychological concepts. Now, before we get into it, I want to thank the sponsor of tonight's video, Better Help. In this video, I'm talking about Mackenzie Sharilla and this and this dysfunctional relationship she had with her boyfriend Dominic. And it just makes me think that we all have we've all experienced relationships that feel dysfunctional where our boundaries are being violated and we have to find a way to take a step back and evaluate, you know, is this what we want? How do I want to navigate this person? We really need to figure out what our boundaries are. And I think a really good place to do that is in therapy, which is why I'm so happy that this video is being sponsored by BetterHelp. I have worked with BetterHelp for years now, and I'm proud to do so because I think that Better Help has really made therapy accessible. As a psychologist, I worry that people don't seek the therapeutic support that they need because they worry about their ability to afford it.
They can't find someone in their geography. They don't know how to find a therapist that has the specific skills and areas of expertise that they're looking for. And BetterHelp takes care of all of that. You sign up and you take a brief survey and as little as 48 hours later, they match you with the therapist that meets all of your needs. And the best part is if for whatever reason that therapist isn't a good fit, Better Help will match you with another therapist free of charge. I also think it's wonderful that BetterHelp makes therapy accessible remotely. You can meet via phone, video, or text. I I really think it's a fantastic platform. And the best news is because you are a valued member of the PopSych YouTube audience, BetterHelp is offering you a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.
All you have to do is go to betterhelp.com/popsych or you can click the link below in the description. I really recommend you try it out. Okay, back to the video. As I jump into this, I think it's important to acknowledge that I have not done any investigative work here. I am just watching a documentary and reacting to it. And at the very end of the documentary, it stands out in my mind.
McKenzie's being asked, "Is there anything else that you would like to share?" And she goes, "I don't think so." And then she looks offcreen to her lawyer and says, "Was that good?" Like it's and it's really clear that McKenzie is trying to manage her impression the way that we see her. And it's also really clear that the director, the people filming this have a story they're trying to tell. And I and I guess I want to acknowledge that as I talk about this case, I am certainly being influenced by the director's eye as he or she built this story. So, that being said, let's let's start with the parents. Throughout the documentary, I had such a strong reaction to them. And not always, it wasn't always negative, but they they just made me feel uneasy. Like, the first example I have is when McKenzie is in the hospital and she's being questioned by the police and she turns to her mom and she says in pig Latin, you know, can we tell them that I've just had a seizure or something? and her mom engages in that conversation. It's weird, right? You have these I mean, it's such a uh an insensitive such a such a dismissive reaction to something so severe. These other these kids have died and McKenzie is trying to find some kind of loophole that she can use to get out of it. And her mom is colluding with her in the conversation.
And so it what stands out to me is clearly these two women have spent time talking to each other in that way. It it's it to me it's it's it has been these two women against the world. And I don't know if it's against the world or if it's against uh her husband, Mckenzie's dad. I don't know what it is, but there's a dynamic there where these two women are willing to manipulate and trick the environment around them. So it feels very unhealthy. And it does make me wonder what are the reasons why McKenzie has had to adapt that behavior before. Why are we learning how to trick authority to that degree? You know, from a psychological standpoint like the fir to that degree, right? You could look at it and you could go, "Wow, no empathy, no boundaries, terrible parenting."
Maybe true. And then you also wonder like what at some point that behavior must have been adaptive. And it makes me wonder why. I I I should say the if I was playing devil's advocate with myself, I would say, well, David, she is under an incredible amount of stress and maybe this is a regression to a better time. Maybe when she was younger, she played with her mom and spoke pig Latin and that's comforting to her and so in this moment she just defaulted to that.
I doubt it. But that would be my that would be the that would be the the counterargument to what I'm saying. The next thing that I noticed in McKenzie's parents' behaviors is the is like this constant positioning of themselves as good parents because they are at all costs defending McKenzie. I understand that as a parent it is your job to believe in and love your kids. True. And I don't think you do that to a degree where you are ignoring reality and ignoring the impact of your kids' behaviors. Throughout the entire documentary, I never clocked them saying her behavior was egregious. I never clocked them acknowledging the pain that she had caused. When McKenzie's mom is talking to the judge, I think at McKenzie's sentencing, she's just talking about how wonderful of a child McKenzie is, and don't take her life from her. And it was enough that the judge even said, "Hey, why are you not acknowledging what she's done and the impact she's had on all these other people here?" and it just feels like there's like this deluded view of their daughter or it's either diluted or it's an absolute decision to ignore everybody else. And and again, I don't I don't know what the what the cause of that outlook is, but it does feel like it's them and their family against the world, and that's how you're supposed to live.
It feels very dysfunctional to me. Which is maybe another segue to McKenzie's dad talking about the fact that McKenzie was high when she had smoked pot when she drove the car into the wall. And he is saying, "Look, I don't have a problem if McKenzie smokes weed. I don't have a problem if I smoke weed." And he turns at the camera. I don't have a problem if you smoke weed. Like he was just dismissing the idea that she was on drugs.
And I guess I should I should say I I also don't care what his take is on weed, but I am shocked by that stance given the fact that she then drove her car into a brick wall and killed two people.
like that.
It just feels again it just feels like they are as a family or as a parental unit totally out of touch with the impact they're having. It's just it's so much protection and so much of a denial of the world around them. So that's kind of the behavioral piece of the parents, but there's also a stylistic component that I want to talk about. When when the parents are being interviewed, I mean, you meet a lot of parents in the documentary, no one seems as relaxed as McKenzie's parents from from their just their look, the way that they're dressed, the, you know, the dad's shirt.
It just feels so over-the-top relaxed. And again, I just feel like it is there's this like tonedeaf inability to understand the severity of what is happening. You know, I think the the favorable look at this in my mind, the favorable look would be historically it has been this family against the world. Um, and they are out of touch with reality.
They're they're they have the LZair style of parenting and they don't they've never really you know they as a consequence they kind of spoiled her.
They never held her accountable and they allowed McKenzie to become a very selfish young woman. I think that's the favorable interpretation.
The less favorable interpretation is that these parents are so sort of narcissistically oriented to themselves and to their family that they have taught McKenzie to never be responsible for her behaviors. They've taught her to manipulate and to maneuver the world around her. Hate authority. We hate rules. We don't we don't respect or appreciate anybody else. like I uh that that stylistically as parents could have happened. And then I guess the the other the the the the worst way to look at it is and I'm again I I can't diagnose from afar, but if you look at McKenzie's behavior, which I'll talk about in a second here, it reeks of cluster B personality disordered behavior. And those cluster B traits often times come from trauma. So when I see McKenzie acting that way, the first thing I do is I wonder, well, how did she grow up? What was the environment that she grew up in where she had that kind of trauma to lead to this kind of a personality? And so the parents would be the first place I look.
I don't know more than that. But I but it would not surprise me if there is more going on in that LZ fair family.
Things that she has seen, things that she ways in which McKenzie was victimized earlier on that led her to be the way she is today. Okay, let's talk about McKenzie's behavior. The first one that I just want to talk about and sort of acknowledge is McKenzie's social media. During the court case, the prosecutors pull up her old Tik Tok videos or whatever and she is, you know, there are videos that make her look like she is, you know, dismissive and of people around her and controlling and hypersexualized and those kinds of things. I don't know if those characteristics are true of her. What I can tell you is I thought it was a little bit ridiculous for the prosecutors to use that as evidence.
These are videos that are, you know, years old. It's McKenzie just hopping hopping on a trend. I thought it was much to do about nothing.
But the pictures of McKenzie on Halloween dressed like a dead person, character or otherwise, a couple weeks after she has just killed two people, is wild to me. And it's wild to me that her parents were unable to clock how inappropriate that was. And I guess it tells you again how out of touch McKenzie and her parents are. I mean, they are clearly trying to manipulate and maneuver the world around them. And the fact that neither McKenzie or her parents thought, "Hey, gez, this outfit is not a good it's not a good look right now tells you how seriously they were taking things." Now, what I thought was much e even more impactful from a let's understand McKenzie's psychology standpoint was the depiction of the fights that she had with Dominic. You know, when we when we look at her text messages, there was this style of I love you, I want to be with you, it's the two of us together, we're going to get married. This very imshed and I would argue kind of hypersexualized relationship.
And then days or even hours later, she would switch to a very aggressive, very unhinged, you know, conflict style. I hate you.
Lose my number. I'm going to cut you off. This this this all on all off all on all off just shows you it feels to me like she was very much emotionally disregulated and and unhinged.
Now again I can't diagnose from afar but I can tell you that any psychologist reading that would have alarm bells going off for some kind of personality issue. You know, and with that in mind, if I think about that fateful night, it wouldn't be a surprise to me if earlier in the day their relationship seemed fine, fine enough for Dominic and DaVon to get in the car with McKenzie and then things escalate to a fight. McKenzie loses control, lose, absolutely lose loses composure and wants to punish her boyfriend. Right? the like the classic cluster B borderline personality disorder style is I'm going to hurt myself and I want you to see it. That kind of manipulation using life and death. If I had to guess like that progression would make sense to me. Now from a stylistic standpoint watching McKenzie interviewed honestly it just it gave me the creeps. And whenever I feel that I would say this when anybody when whenever you feel that way when you're watching something you should stop and try and figure out well like what's the what's happening that's making me feel uneasy with McKenzie. I think it's a couple of things. The first is she does not I mean very rarely does she on her own acknowledge the pain that she has caused for other people. Right? She's she's not talking about how Dominic's family feels or the impact on Davian's sister, right?
It's it's there's no connection there.
It's all kind of self-referential.
This is sad for me. Look at the things that I have lost. I was going to have this kind of life with Dominic. Oh, poor me. Right? And you know, she's trying to present in a favorable way. And it's almost like even when she's trying to feain empathy, she can only feain empathy for the thing that she cares about, which is her. I don't think she really gets the pain that's being experienced by other people. And again, that that style reeks of personality issues.
I also thought that her her kind of a effect her her she showed very little emotional range. Even when she's crying, it doesn't look like she's trying to hold back crying, right? It looks like there's nothing there. Very blunted, very flat. It as if she's trying on emotion versus actually feeling the emotion. And it it's interesting when she's when she's talking about what she did.
She's not saying I did this and because I you know because I did this these people died. She's kind of saying this happened to us. The the locus of control is not with McKenzie. It's it's somewhere else. It's something else. The world is happening to us, but I'm not the driver of it. Again, there's zero accountability. Now, I have to say if I was again, if I was playing devil's advocate to my own interpretation of this, I would say, well, maybe she has dissociated. Maybe she's in shock.
Maybe uh it's also been several years. I I have a hard time believing that for several years she is processing that way where she is still dissociated and still in shock. It feels very unlikely to me. So those are my thoughts. That's my reaction to it. Let me know what you think in the comments below.
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