I started a grief garden and it changed my life

Added: 2026-05-05

[00:00:00]Sometimes when I'm stressed, whether it's about the state of the world or just the state of my life, I need a reminder that not only is there value in small sustainable projects, but doing those projects brings me a great amount of peace. And I think we could probably all do with a bit more of that.

[00:00:21]The summer after my parents died, I started gardening. I'd been listening to homesteading podcasts all winter while waiting through all the admin that goes along with death, and the idea of growing my own food appealed to me. I only had a tiny garden at the time, but that summer I grew tomatoes and potatoes and misshapen carrots in pots, empty rubbish bins, and old supermarket carrier bags.

[00:00:47]It took 3 years, a house move, and a lot of sweat equity, but I finally have the sort of vegetable garden that I dreamt about that first summer.

[00:01:13]As well as fixing up the greenhouse and building raised beds, I planted fruit trees and rhubarb crowns and then had to dig up the fruit trees and replant them when I realized they were far too close to the fence. I'm definitely still at the beginner end of the gardening spectrum, and I doubt I'll ever be close to self-sufficient. But last year, I managed to grow quite a lot of food with the help of some very good books and a healthy dose of beginner's luck.

[00:01:42]In the same way chopping firewood warms you twice, growing your own food has multiple moments of joy and satisfaction. Just getting my hands in the soil makes me feel better, which is something I forget during winter and I'm always surprised by when spring rolls around again.

[00:02:01]Watching things grow feels magical. And when I was deep in grief, going outside every morning to check on my garden gave me something to look forward to.

[00:02:13]I told myself I wasn't going to grow as much this summer because there's only so many hours in the day and I've got a renovation to plan, temporary living accommodation to organize, and outuildings that need demolishing. But I don't think cutting out something that brings me joy and gives me a small amount of food security is my best idea, especially as all of those things are quite stressful. I've already got onions, garlic, leaks, raspberries, strawberries, and cabbages in the ground. And I'm planning on planting potatoes, beans, squash, and carrots, among other things. And I'll probably live to regret it in the middle of summer when it's taking me hours to keep everything watered.

[00:03:24]This is not supposed to be a group project.

[00:03:30]I'm trying to add some greenery to the chicken enclosure that the chickens won't destroy.

[00:03:36]>> Oh, get out of the way.

[00:03:40]>> It's not going well.

[00:03:45]>> Stop pecking that.

[00:03:51]>> I didn't realize that chickens are pretty much archaeologists. They will dig up almost anything.

[00:04:07]Are you going?

[00:04:29]I would love to be this relaxed, but then I would never get anything finished. We've partnered with Katkin for this week's ad, and Sven loves it when we work with them because food and attention are two of his favorite things. I've had a few questions about Sven's origin story recently. So, if you haven't been here since the early days of about 18 months ago, I adopted Sven from a rescue back in November 2024. He was an ex barn cat, and when I first brought him home, he spent all his time hiding under the sofa. He has come a long way since then. He's gone from hunting all his own food to eating fancy fresh food from catkin. And now the mice are just fun bonus snacks and presents for me, which is great. Who doesn't love a mouse present? Most cat food from leading brands is highly processed, full of grains and fillers, and packed with preservatives. Catkin wanted to change that and give cats the same standard of food we'd expect for ourselves. They make fresh meals that put cats first by putting their food in the fridge, where fresh food belongs. Their recipes are crafted by a boardcertified vet nutritionist and contain nothing but 100% real human grade meat. Gently cooked to retain natural nutrients. It's perfectly portioned to your cat's age, weight, and activity levels. We switched to catkin back in September, and since then, Sven's really come out of his shell. He's been getting a lot of compliments on how glossy his fur is, and most importantly, he's full of energy, just in time for the spring reopening of the Rodent Buffet. I've had quite a few messages from people who've tried out Catkin. But if you haven't and you'd like to upgrade your cat's meal times, you can get 50% off your first box with a code spend 50 at the link below or scan the QR code on screen.

[00:06:16]If you told me 5 years ago how much enjoyment I'd get out of composting, I'd have laughed at you. And I'm still kind of laughing at myself even now. I'm in a composting Facebook group because apparently that's the sort of person I am these days. And it turns out people have very strong opinions about compost.

[00:06:34]I am not a compost purist. I just like the idea that it breaks down things that would otherwise be wasted. Kitchen scraps, chicken manure, weeds, grass cutings, dead leaves, paper and cardboard into something useful and nourishing. And it doesn't cost anything. I've got several different composting systems because at some point I turned into a compost nerd. I've got a leaf mold bin for my autumn leaves, a standard three-bay compost bin system for kitchen scraps and garden waste, and bicashi bins, which is an anorobic form of composting, good for meat and dairy and cooked food scraps. I've also got a little compost bay in the chicken run for the chickens to turn over because they love being involved.

[00:07:25]I spent a small fortune on compost when I was setting up my garden last year. I built my pallet compost bins pretty much as soon as I moved in, but composting is a slow process and I needed a lot of it.

[00:07:52]This year, I've managed to top off all of my raised beds with a combination of homemade compost and well-rotted manure from the cows in the field next door. I did buy a couple of bags of multi-purpose compost for seed sewing, but nowhere near the amount I bought last year, which is the sort of achievement I can get on board with.

[00:08:22]I upgraded my compost bins recently and they're now conveniently located next to the vegetable garden instead of almost as far away from it as physically possible. And I've been meaning to get around to putting fronts on them to keep everything contained for a while. My plan was to buy gravel boards and slot them into the gaps at the front, but the rest of the bins are made out of leftovers and salvage materials. So, it seems silly to buy something when I've got plenty of planks of wood in the barn that I could use instead. Sven, get out of the compost.

[00:08:58]This wood was originally for building another row of raised beds, but I changed my mind about where I wanted them to go, and I don't really need another four beds this year. So, I'm going to use a couple of planks for the front of the compost bins. It's probably a bit too nice for it, but it makes sense to use what I have when I don't have anything better to do with it right now. And at some point in the future, I'm not going to have anywhere to store it.

[00:09:43]I learned about yakisugi, the Japanese art of wood preservation, when I was researching ways to prolong the life of my raised beds without using chemicals.

[00:09:52]Charring the wood helps prevent rot and insect damage, and it was a fun excuse to buy a blowtorrch.

[00:10:24]I love a practical project. It's not perfect, but it will keep the compost in, and I can slide the slats out when I want to access it.

[00:10:54]I've seen this done with a pyography tool, but I don't have a pyography tool.

[00:10:59]I did try using my dad's old soldering iron, but it didn't work. So, I'm using a bro. I quite like the idea of getting a pyography tool, but I've got no business starting more hobbies. I've still got a tiny jewelry blow torch that I have never used from when I thought I was going to do silver smithing until I realized that silver is expensive. And at that point, I didn't have a job.

[00:11:35]This might not have been the best use of my time, but sometimes I just need a little craft project.

[00:11:45]When there's a big project on the horizon, it's really easy to think, what's the point in spending time on smaller projects if they don't directly benefit this one big thing? But I didn't move here just to renovate a house.

[00:12:08]I don't really grow a lot of plants that I can't eat, but I inherited a couple of hostas from my mom who inherited them from her mom who died before I was born.

[00:12:17]And I've been meaning to split them apart for a couple of years, but I always miss the window. So, I'm going to do that today before I miss it again.

[00:12:26]This is going to be one of those jobs that was easier said than done because I think these hosters have probably been in this pot for about a decade.

[00:12:43]Oh yes, just a little bit pot.

[00:13:02]I thought I'd plant a couple of these in the shady spot behind the chicken run because hostas like shade and the chickens would eat the slugs that would eat the hostas. But I just did a search to see if hostas are safe to have around chickens and apparently they love eating them and they'd get destroyed straight away. So that's probably not the best idea. Chickens are why we can't have nice things. Back in pots. It is.

[00:13:36]Eventually, I'll probably put a couple of hostas in the ground as part of my plan to make this big grassy area a bit less lawn and a bit more plant. But a chunk of it is probably going to need to be dug up to run more drainage out to the septic tank as part of the work that needs to be done on the house. So, it's going to have to wait a while.

[00:13:56]I put a lot of pressure on myself to get things done quickly for instant gratification and for satisfying before and after transformation photos. But growing things and being out in nature is an excellent reminder that good things can take time, which is reassuring as I'm about to embark on what will probably be the world's slowest renovation project. See you next weekend. In the meantime, you can find me on Instagram and Patreon as Reing Jude.