This Garbage is Out of Control

Added: 2026-05-04

[00:00:00]There is a cheat code floating around right now that science doesn't want you to know about. It's kind of a well-kept secret, but there is a word that can summon money. It's an ancient incantation that's starting to become a little more popularized. And basically any company that says this word gets a ton of money instantly for nothing. And that word isn't open sesame, it's AI. As long as a company says that word, for some reason, the most brain deadad, insufferable [ __ ] morons will pour endless amounts of money into it. Let me show you the most recent example, and I think quite a few of you have probably seen this because it's blowing up.

[00:00:46]Allirds, or excuse me, what was formerly Allirds and is now Newird AI. Allirds was previously a shoe company. It was once valued at $4 billion and then recently sold for 39 million. They crushed it. They really they they did it. That's big business, baby. And because this was a failing brand, they made a pivot or they announced a pivot two days ago that they were going to become an AI focused company. And the second they made that announcement, their shock stock their stocks shot up 400% and have only continued to climb.

[00:01:21]And keep in mind, this is a company that has nothing. They fired like all of their employees from what I can tell.

[00:01:26]They got rid of all their shoes. They don't manufacture anything or have anything. And they haven't even begun with anything AI outside of an announcement saying, "We're gonna pivot to AI." So right now people are golden showering them with tons of money off of just a thought. Literally the concept of an idea for this company and they changed their name to New Bird AI. That is how out of control this [ __ ] mass psychosis around AI is where people just instantly throw all of their money dumping their wallet at the computer screen just because a brand said the word AI. A brand which by the way is not successful. Again, they sold a $4 billion company for 39 39 million cuz it went straight into the [ __ ] over the last like I don't even know how many years. You see the shoe company pivoting to AI and the stock jumped 800%.

[00:02:17]Allird, I didn't look into that, but I kept seeing that pop up on tons of headlines.

[00:02:25]Basically, it was a it was a complete failure of a shoe company. And then they made like this announcement that they're going all in on AI to get like a bunch of I don't even know what it was, GPUs and like selling computation power to AI services or something and then all of a sudden everyone just pumped their stock.

[00:02:47]I don't know. I didn't look into it. But yeah, this felt like a very interesting thing.

[00:02:55]Allird shares soar on a very 2026 pivot to AI.

[00:03:00]Shares of Allirds the 20 the 2010's pioneer of trendy sneakers. I've never heard of them. An eco-concient eco-conscious millennial marketing took flight in an almost comical fashion Wednesday morning after the company announced an extremely 2026 pivot abandoning its environmental agenda and getting into the AI business. literally every company on the planet.

[00:03:24]The stock, which had been in the gutter since November 2021, shot up more than 600%.

[00:03:30]Closed at 1450, up 582% from Tuesday's close. Catalyst came from Alber's announcement that the company, it once valued at 4 billion, would soon reemerge as a new entity with a focus on AI.

[00:03:43]What? No one's ever done this.

[00:03:47]Oh, I see why everyone started pumping it. Wow. No one's Nobody's doing that.

[00:03:53]What the [ __ ] Can you do that?

[00:03:58]A AI in Oh my god. Wow.

[00:04:06]Essentially, it's going to buy and rent out computing power to tech startups.

[00:04:11]It's genius.

[00:04:14]Whoa.

[00:04:19]The shift comes just weeks after Albert sold its footwear assets and branding to American Exchange Group, which specializes in selling licensed fashion accessories with already existing recognizable brand names for just 39 million. Oh, I bet this company's going to kill it in AI, though. They took a $4 billion business and sold it for 39 million. NFT bros are coming in their little trousers right now with those kind of returns. That's [ __ ] business, baby.

[00:04:50]That's the kind of company that's going to be trailblazing in AI. Again, a highly underutilized market. No one's touching AI right now. They're bucking the trend. They're going where no brands dare to go into an AI pivot. [ __ ] These guys are brave. These guys are so brave.

[00:05:13]All birds which will be recristened Newird AI.

[00:05:19]Oh god, that hurts. Yikes. Terrible name. Newbird AI.

[00:05:28]More like No [ __ ] AI. Yikes.

[00:05:32]said it executed a $50 million deal with an unnamed institutional investor to acquire high performance GPU assets to begin transitioning into a fully integrated GPU as a service. Yes.

[00:05:46]Oh, I can't wait to hear who this unnamed investor is.

[00:05:51]Dead Parrot. Despite the stock's sudden surge though, All Birds remains a shell of its former self. Market value was shy of 150 mil at Wednesday's closing bell.

[00:06:00]Worth underscoring the sneakers to AI pivot is not exactly part of the standard corporate playbook and the novelty novelty may have amplified investors early enthusiasm investors.

[00:06:11]These are just brainless drones, man.

[00:06:13]These are actual just like hype goblins seeking out any kind of quick pump and dump. Investors my [ __ ] left butt cheek.

[00:06:24]I might short this. I'm not like a big stock guy, but this feels like the easiest, safest short of all time. Am I crazy?

[00:06:33]I feel like everyone's doing that now, though, so it probably won't work. I imagine genuinely everyone is shorting this right now. This is just so bologoney. This is just such barnacles.

[00:06:44]Still not as annoying as Crypto Bros, but it's damn close. It's I I would say it's getting to Crypto Bro level. Like very like you're right. I think Crypto Bro is still more cringe, but this is like right there. Like one little [ __ ] pube away from that level of cringe cuz it's every company.

[00:07:09]Genuinely, all of them. This is a do this is a failing shoe company that all of a sudden just said, "Okay, we're pulling the emergency lever AI." And then they're just getting showered with money. Apparently, Allird was a Kickstarter company that sold shoes made with recycled sugar cane and eucalyptus.

[00:07:26]Ironically, Time magazine even praised their shoes because it reduced carbon emissions.

[00:07:32]And now look at them fully pivoting into AI, the antithesis of that. You love to see it. It's a feel-good story. The name may have changed, but the values are still there. All bird lives on in Newird AI.

[00:07:47]Saving the world. one Grock bikini photo at a time. The shift is notable for another reason. Allird's lowprofile sustainable wool-based shoes quickly became the Silicon Valley wardrobe staple when they launched in 2016.

[00:08:01]Arguably the peak of the lowercase Liberal dogooder era of retail. The hell is that?

[00:08:10]What the [ __ ] is that?

[00:08:13]when marketers convinced upwardly mobile office workers that they could simply shop their way to lowcarbon zerowaste future they believed was in reach. Okay, that I remember that's what they call it. I haven't heard that term.

[00:08:28]Allirds were more than sneakers. They were political statements alerting wearers status to fellow to fellow members of the coastal millennial techno optimist tribe. Oh my god. What the [ __ ] am I? This is This can't be real. This is so embarrassing.

[00:08:46]What?

[00:08:49]Yes. I consider myself something of a techno optimist. You can tell by the shoes on my feet.

[00:08:55]You and I. I feel we'll get along. This narwhal does bacon at midnight. Thanks for asking.

[00:09:01]Now, the go-to tech worker accessory has become the tech itself. And the tech itself is just the abstract promise of compute to power AI products that aren't exactly turning a profit yet. But any day now they will. That's the good thing about it. They're like they're actually going to be spitting and [ __ ] money.

[00:09:19]It's coming and it's going to trickle down to the rest of us. It always does.

[00:09:24]That doesn't mean the new brand new bird AI is doomed. But it does illustrate Silicon Valley and Wall Street's seeming willingness to reward any company that slaps the words artificial intelligence into its pitch. That's true. Very true.

[00:09:39]It's a virus. A genuine [ __ ] virus.

[00:09:44]Underscoring just how much has changed since Albert's heyday. The new company also plans to abandon its foundational commitments to environmental conservation. What?

[00:09:54]I can't believe it. The AI company is now abandoning environmental conservation efforts.

[00:10:00]How? Why? I never The company, which one touted sustainability in every step, was established as a certified BC Corp or a for-profit business with higher than usual standards for its social and environmental impact. But its new business is a notoriously energyintensive process. So, the company plans to ask shareholders next month to approve a charter amendment to remove references to the company being operated for the environmental conservation public benefit according to the regulatory filing which will be approved. No doubt after seeing the stock pump. No doubt.

[00:10:36]To be sure, Albert's footwear business hadn't been going great lately. I certainly never heard of it. The company stumbled as it grew rapidly, opening dozens of stores across multiple continents, but failing to move enough inventory to make them profitable.

[00:10:47]Allirds has gone from being a high-f flyier to a dead parrot.

[00:10:54]Yeah. I mean, it they sold a $4 billion business for 39 mil.

[00:10:59]That's like phase stock. That's brutal.

[00:11:05]Genuinely brutal. The reason for the lack of traction was that All Bird's sustainability pitch has never been a key consideration for most footwear consumers who are more concerned about style, price, and comfort.

[00:11:20]When in doubt, pivot. Albert is hardly the first to do a full 180 to chase momentum around new tech. It's also not uncommon for such pivots to signify a bit of irrational exuberance in the market.

[00:11:31]Take one-time soft drink maker Long Island Iced Tea Corp, which capitalized on the crypto craze of 2017 to rebrand as a blockchain technology company, even renaming itself Long Blockchain.

[00:11:44]What?

[00:11:46]While the initial pivot sent this stock up 380%, it didn't quite work out in the long run. The Securities and Exchange Commission charged three people with insider trading. The company never became an operational player in blockchain tech and its shares were delisted in 2021.

[00:12:02]I had no clue.

[00:12:04]I never even heard that.

[00:12:09]Well, that's positive historical data to pull from for newbird investors.

[00:12:15]It's It's looking good. The future's looking bright.

[00:12:19]Surely AI uh compute infrastructure won't go the the way of crypto craze and NFTTS. Wouldn't do that. Wouldn't do that. Showing no signs of it. And as the tide has turned for crypto, several Bitcoin mining firms have restructured themselves to focus on AI infrastructure instead. But the extreme market reaction all birds move may be without precedent.

[00:12:42]Motivation behind the corporate pivot is pivot is sensible. The market reaction less so. A 6x or 7x move for a company that is literally ditching its prior business model for one in which has in which it has no demonstrated expertise says quite a bit about a market froth and investor willingness to chase moves.

[00:13:01]Yeah. Because these people don't care.

[00:13:03]These worms, they do not care.

[00:13:07]If it says AI, they will put their money into it. They won't give it even a second of thought. Silicon Valley the article heard like 50 buzzwords and multiple nothing statements. Pretty much I mean pretty much. Yeah, that sounds about right. Just trying to dump the bag onto someone else. That was the entire NFT pitch.

[00:13:31]Dump the bag onto someone else. Don't be the last one holding the bag dick in your hand. And that is exactly the same [ __ ] that's happening right now. Let's see what's going on with Newbird.

[00:13:44]Have they even begun doing anything besides this partnership with an unnamed investor for 50 million to acquire high performance GPUs?

[00:13:57]This could be anyone.

[00:13:59]They might have partnered with God to just manifest infinite high performance GPUs for New Bird AI.

[00:14:07]Excited to see who it is. Can't wait.

[00:14:10]Don't these guys make running shoes? Not anymore. That's That's for the birds.

[00:14:14]That's caveman [ __ ] They now make nothing. Literally nothing. By the way, they actually don't have anything. They have a statement. They have literally an idea. The idea of them doing something that literally every other company on the planet is doing. Guys, we're no longer making anything. Instead, AI thoughts, thoughts, money, money, thoughts, money. And they have nothing to show. There's nothing. Tim Brown, co-founder and co-chairman of Albird.

[00:14:48]Go to the Albird subreddit top.

[00:14:50]Apparently, they fired all their employees two months ago with only a three-hour notice. So, do they do they not have any employees?

[00:15:00]So, now it's a company that has no employees and the founder of just said, "AI, we're AI now. Now we're newbird AI." And people are giving him money. Is is that actually what's happening? Well, maybe he's going to have chat GPT run it for him. Chat GPT is going to be his sole employee.

[00:15:18]Dear team, I'm writing to share difficult news. After careful consideration, we have made the difficult decision to permanently close a number of our US fullric retail stores, which includes your store.

[00:15:26]Consequently, January 26 marks your last day of employment. Despite great efforts, these stores have achieved have not achieved sustainable performance.

[00:15:34]This is not a reflection of your effort or execution. The work was meaningful and impactful, but not sufficient to reach our objective.

[00:15:41]So sorry to hear about this, OP. All birds did not handle this well at all.

[00:15:44]I'm an all birds nerd, and this is really making me reconsider, continued, and buy their products. Well, good news.

[00:15:49]You don't even have to consider it because they don't have any products anymore. They got rid of all their products in order to have nothing. But you can invest in the concept of a business that has the word AI attached to it. So all in all, a net win from nothing to nothing.

[00:16:10]Started from the bottom and the bottom is where it stays, but with a new name.

[00:16:15]Investing in thoughts and [ __ ] So true.

[00:16:20]Actually, so true.

[00:16:22]Tim Brown said said a thought he had in his head and I liked it. So here's a lot of money invested in his company even though there's nothing there. It's not even really a company at the moment.