VOL 162 | Baddies Be Snoring: Philly Prom, Communicating in Conflict, Manipulation Tactics

Added: 2026-06-02

[00:00:00]Welcome back Adulting Volume 162 Sunday, May 31st coming at you live. This is after Memorial Day, bro. We didn't even mention that it was Memorial Day all last weekend.

[00:00:10]>> Damn.

[00:00:10]>> You got plans?

[00:00:11]>> No.

[00:00:12]>> Did you have plans?

[00:00:12]>> No.

[00:00:13]>> No? I'm on the road Memorial Day weekend. But this this coming out May 31st. Thank you guys for for for checking back in with us at the Adulting Podcast.

[00:00:23]>> Yes. Oh, I'm going to a couple graduations. That's right. I don't know what plans. Like two.

[00:00:28]>> You got a few graduations?

[00:00:29]>> Yeah, one or two and then prom. Prom season.

[00:00:32]>> You going to prom?

[00:00:33]>> No, I'm not going to prom but it's some some family members going to prom.

[00:00:37]I'm going to check out.

[00:00:39]>> What do you mean by that? You going to go check it out?

[00:00:41]>> I'm going to go see them off. You know how you go see them >> like you be at the house taking photos and stuff?

[00:00:45]>> Yeah. Didn't you do that?

[00:00:46]>> Nah.

[00:00:47]>> You didn't go to prom?

[00:00:48]>> I did go to prom.

[00:00:49]>> But you ain't people ain't come see you off?

[00:00:50]>> Nah.

[00:00:51]>> Why?

[00:00:52]>> I don't know. That's not a tradition that we had.

[00:00:54]>> What What do you mean?

[00:00:55]>> Like we just We just didn't have that tradition. Like people >> So, you just You and your girl just left? Drove off?

[00:01:01]>> No, we cuz I like I got ready at my house.

[00:01:04]>> Okay.

[00:01:04]>> And then And then like I I remember at prom we all we all met up at a friend of ours house. She had like the nicest house.

[00:01:12]So, we met up at her house and that's where like the limo picked us up from.

[00:01:16]>> Oh, it's just the same. It was parents out there though.

[00:01:18]>> Her parents?

[00:01:19]>> Yeah. They had music and food and all that. Yeah. Yeah. Same thing.

[00:01:22]>> But I didn't I didn't like you you're going back to Philly for this.

[00:01:25]>> Yeah.

[00:01:26]I'm going back It's It's a niece.

[00:01:28]>> It's your niece?

[00:01:29]>> Yeah.

[00:01:29]>> Yeah. My niece went to prom. I didn't see her off.

[00:01:33]My niece went to prom to see her >> I mean I had nephews that went to prom.

[00:01:36]>> Huh?

[00:01:37]>> I had nephews that went to prom. I didn't go see them off. But I'm going to see her off.

[00:01:40]>> So, like you show up and what do you do when you get there?

[00:01:44]>> to be food. You You been to a black You You black? You been to a prom?

[00:01:47]>> Not a prom.

[00:01:48]>> I mean you been to a send-off. It's just be lit.

[00:01:50]>> to a funeral after That be lit.

[00:01:53]>> It's It's the similar [laughter] It's like you know what you know what the prom send-off It's like baby shower.

[00:01:57]>> Oh, it is?

[00:01:57]>> It's like baby shower for >> And then what happens when the kids go?

[00:01:59]Do y'all keep partying?

[00:02:00]>> Yeah. Keep partying, keep drinking.

[00:02:02]That's what my folks >> come back?

[00:02:03]>> No. Yeah, I mean, >> What if they don't come back?

[00:02:06]>> I mean, they do, but I know when I went on prom, it was like a uh it was a block It was like half the block party, everybody on that side.

[00:02:14]>> Yeah, and I had all these and that.

[00:02:16]>> You you you had a Did you have a limo?

[00:02:19]>> No, we had my dad had a had just bought a new truck.

[00:02:23]So I drove that.

[00:02:25]>> What kind? [laughter] >> It was like a It was a new one. It was like brand new for that year.

[00:02:30]>> But what was it though?

[00:02:32]>> I don't know.

[00:02:33]I got to look at the picture.

[00:02:34]>> Escalade? Like a Denali?

[00:02:36]>> an Escalade. It might have been a It was a white though.

[00:02:38]>> A a Yukon?

[00:02:39]>> It was white.

[00:02:39]>> It's like what they It's like what they use now cuz now nobody uses limos.

[00:02:42]>> Yeah, no.

[00:02:43]>> That's like Are the kids using limos?

[00:02:44]Cuz I I I >> Uh I think it's coming back.

[00:02:47]>> It's coming back?

[00:02:47]>> I think it's coming >> was like there was a time like a couple years ago where I I heard that kids kids would like that's corny.

[00:02:52]>> No, that [ __ ] coming back.

[00:02:53]>> It's coming back. Did you use a limo?

[00:02:55]>> Yeah, we did a big fat limo.

[00:02:57]>> Yeah, we had a limo. We had a Infiniti limo, the Infiniti FX.

[00:03:00]>> had a limo.

[00:03:02]>> You had your dad's car, but did you drive it?

[00:03:04]>> Yes.

[00:03:05]>> You drove the car to prom?

[00:03:06]>> He let me drive his new truck to prom.

[00:03:08]>> And your date was like what, passenger side?

[00:03:09]>> Yeah.

[00:03:10]>> You ain't want to be driven?

[00:03:11]>> No.

[00:03:12]I was I was excited to drive. I was >> And be like alone.

[00:03:15]>> And I drove and >> You had a date?

[00:03:17]>> Yeah. I went on two proms though.

[00:03:20]So wait, maybe I'm getting it confused, but one of those proms I did drive his car.

[00:03:24]>> Did you did you you went with your girl at the time?

[00:03:26]>> Yeah.

[00:03:27]>> Did y'all have sex?

[00:03:28]>> No. Not not prom night.

[00:03:30]>> Not prom night.

[00:03:30]>> We went to the strip club.

[00:03:31]>> Y'all did?

[00:03:32]>> Yeah.

[00:03:33]>> That's That's ghetto fabulous.

[00:03:34]>> It was ghetto fabulous. Went to the strip club, night on Broadway, shout out night on Broadway, in our prom suits, spent all the money that family, you know, family give you money and all that.

[00:03:44]>> No.

[00:03:44]>> Well, >> I You had that? Family gave you money for prom?

[00:03:47]>> me money for prom.

[00:03:48]>> Yeah, they gave It's a It's a It's a culture thing in Philly. They give you a bunch of money. Like graduation. It's basically a graduation.

[00:03:54]>> I could see that.

[00:03:55]>> But it's it's it's the same thing. So people give you money and I went straight to the strip club.

[00:03:59]>> all the money your family gave you?

[00:04:00]>> Blew it.

[00:04:02]Blew it.

[00:04:04]Did you go to prom We went to IHOP and the strip club.

[00:04:06]>> I went to prom with my gay best friend and >> hook up?

[00:04:10]>> [laughter] >> No, but it was it was the [ __ ] because like I still made out with somebody at afters. I made out with my friend's date partner.

[00:04:17]>> If there's one thing you're going to do >> [laughter] >> is make is make out with somebody at afters.

[00:04:22]>> Make out. Um Yeah, we kissed on a trampoline.

[00:04:26]Um >> What did you do after prom?

[00:04:28]>> That is the whitest [ __ ] >> Yeah, that's very white.

[00:04:31]>> You can laugh it up all you want.

[00:04:33]>> said he did. It's fine. He just said he went to the strip club after prom. So we're not doing racism.

[00:04:37]>> [laughter] >> What? I would have never say that. But trampolines are awesome.

[00:04:40]>> I'll think it though.

[00:04:41]>> Um What whatever, but um it's a tradition in like Cincinnati. Well, I guess probably everywhere, but like some people do afters at like a hotel or something. Like we always like somebody's parents who are cool let us all come back to theirs and like drink and then everybody sleeps over and some people have sex.

[00:04:58]>> drink? See, no cuz white people you was like getting drunk at private school.

[00:05:01]You was getting drunk since you was like 13 probably, right? Yeah, like that's the thing for them. I didn't have I didn't have a drink till I was 18.

[00:05:07]>> Wow.

[00:05:07]>> Yeah, I didn't drink either. I didn't drink either.

[00:05:10]>> And I come from a family of drinkers, too.

[00:05:12]>> I think it's the Midwest a little bit.

[00:05:13]Like >> let the kids drink.

[00:05:15]>> Yeah, but there there's like a staunch There's three categories of parents when you grow up in the Midwest. There's parents who enable it and boys love the cool mom. She's typically hot. Who >> This is a thing for real?

[00:05:26]>> Yeah, you can come over and have beers at the pool and all of that.

[00:05:29]>> a hot mom?

[00:05:30]>> Yeah, there's always a hot mom or a funny dad for the girls.

[00:05:35]And they're not typically in the same couple. Sometimes they are and they're usually in a mansion. So that's one group. There's the parents that my parents fell into, which is they're not going to enable it, but we don't we just don't see it. but like we know it's happening but we were not talking about it and we trust that you're >> I might be that. I might be that that type of parent.

[00:05:54]>> Where it's like >> Like I don't see it.

[00:05:55]>> Like I I know it's happening but like don't disrespect me and do it in my face cuz that's disrespectful.

[00:06:00]>> And then there's the strict parents whose kids obviously were all went to rehab.

[00:06:06]>> One of my homies parents they she used to let us drink in the basement. Not I was probably started drinking late too but they had a bar in the basement and they used to let us drink and then we used to be like yo your mom is so cool and she told us later she let us do that so she knew cuz she knew so she know where we was at.

[00:06:24]>> Yeah my my mom was like that too. My mom was like that too cuz she would always be like do it just do it here where I can monitor you instead of doing it out in the streets.

[00:06:33]>> we'd have probably went out there and got shot.

[00:06:36]>> You definitely would have got shot.

[00:06:37]>> Yeah.

[00:06:37]>> beating people up.

[00:06:38]>> But to the to that point I think that's like a parenting goal is I think my parents always did a good job of like I never really got yelled at they never had to give me a good speech but they had that silent like it was just a known like don't make a fool of me and like you're my kid and like don't [ __ ] around but I don't know how they did that cuz it wasn't like I wasn't getting yelled at like if I left in like a short skirt >> brothers?

[00:07:05]>> Yeah I have a little brother. He's 6 years younger than me. I'm the oldest of four.

[00:07:08]>> Oh damn.

[00:07:09]>> You got twin sisters too.

[00:07:10]>> Yeah.

[00:07:10]>> Oh really?

[00:07:11]>> Um but I don't know how they I'm like that's the parenting goal is like my mom would just be in the corner with like her book and her glass of white wine she'd be like have fun tonight and I was like [ __ ] okay heard.

[00:07:22]>> Let me ask you this you ever had one of your friends parents or a friend of your your parents like a older person who was trying to like hook up with you when you was like 18?

[00:07:34]>> No.

[00:07:35]>> Never?

[00:07:36]>> Never.

[00:07:36]>> Never even like flirting saying cute stuff?

[00:07:38]>> moms? One of my mom's friends?

[00:07:40]>> Yeah.

[00:07:40]>> Uh no.

[00:07:41]>> One I had one that happened to me.

[00:07:43]>> There was a There was a lady and she was always She would always Her name was Miss Felicia.

[00:07:49]>> Hi, Felicia.

[00:07:50]>> Hi, Felicia. And she go, "Reggie, so hot." Like she'd grab you. She'll say little flirty things.

[00:07:54]>> She'll take you down right now.

[00:07:56]>> Right now?

[00:07:57]>> Yeah.

[00:07:57]>> Oh, no. I wouldn't want her right now.

[00:07:58]>> I know, but I'm saying like if she could >> She's older, but I do remember I do remember Miss Felicia being like handsy and And my mom would just laugh.

[00:08:07]My mom would just be like, "Girl, stop.

[00:08:09]Leave that boy alone." Like, you know, but she was She was a wino and she go, "When you get older" like little [ __ ] like that.

[00:08:16]>> I feel like I feel like I had I had one of my mom's friends That happened with one of my mom's friends, but I was old I was already I was like 21, 22. I was like 22. And And she was like a hot mom. Like the the first She was like a hot mom. But she never really said it to me. She would say it to my mom.

[00:08:35]>> Yeah.

[00:08:35]>> So, my sister would tell me like, "Yo, she My sister was like, 'Yo, she's telling She was saying that she'll take you down.'" Like And I'm like Like she was fine. She was like 50, but she looked She was fine. But you know, at 21 I was like I didn't know what to do with that.

[00:08:49]>> Yeah. You know what?

[00:08:50]>> You ever had that?

[00:08:51]>> I see I feel like in the last three or four years some friends' dads who've been single or going through a divorce have emerged, but it was never when I was in high school or anything. But like now that I'm back for holidays, I'm like, "Let's all do a hand shock." Like on the night before Thanksgiving.

[00:09:07]>> they saying? Like what are they What are they >> It's little things like that slash It's all It's all in the in the eyes and the under >> Are any of them like attractive that you think?

[00:09:18]>> They're doing all this. They're doing this.

[00:09:19]>> Old [laughter] ashes.

[00:09:20]>> Well, you look >> I can't wait to get old enough to do that.

[00:09:23]>> You do that now.

[00:09:25]>> Your eyes are really low.

[00:09:27]>> Yeah. Or what if they I'm saying do you have a even find any of them attractive?

[00:09:30]>> No comment.

[00:09:32]>> Growing up, did you know of anybody of your friends, young people who had hooked up with a with a parent or teacher.

[00:09:42]>> There was a teacher in my grade school who hooked up or not sorry, high school who hooked up with a student.

[00:09:47]>> Yep.

[00:09:48]>> Yeah, me too.

[00:09:49]>> Yeah, but nobody ever hooked up with anybody's parents. I'm sure it's happened though.

[00:09:54]>> the teacher guy girl?

[00:09:56]>> Woman teacher, male student.

[00:09:59]>> Of course.

[00:10:00]>> Why is that a thing?

[00:10:02]>> Is she was she hot?

[00:10:03]>> I can't comment on that.

[00:10:04]>> Teacher was hot.

[00:10:05]>> Pending investigation.

[00:10:06]>> What? Yeah, I don't know.

[00:10:07]>> Yeah, teachers teachers have been cleaning up with young girls.

[00:10:10]>> been cleaning up. In my high school yo, I knew I knew and I can't comment on it, but I knew about I'm not even exaggerating about four or five people in my school who had hooked up with teachers.

[00:10:24]>> Well, my my was school policeman.

[00:10:26]>> Four or five, yeah.

[00:10:26]>> Yeah, mine was school policeman.

[00:10:28]>> What you mean?

[00:10:29]>> School the school security school policeman was [ __ ] the students.

[00:10:33]>> Wait.

[00:10:35]>> What?

[00:10:35]>> Yeah.

[00:10:36]>> How?

[00:10:37]>> I remember that.

[00:10:37]>> You remember you you remember the dude?

[00:10:39]You remember?

[00:10:40]>> He was a school cop.

[00:10:41]>> But I'm saying you remember exactly who it was?

[00:10:43]>> Yeah, but he just did they they fired him and and then it was just a rumor.

[00:10:46]>> But y'all y'all was like 17 18 y'all was already like a little girl.

[00:10:48]>> We was we was in high school though.

[00:10:50]>> I'm saying but you but y'all was already like cuz in high school you could be 13.

[00:10:53]>> that he slept with was definitely [ __ ] >> She look good?

[00:10:57]>> Uh >> I hey.

[00:10:58]>> She was she was 18.

[00:11:00]>> Yeah, so yeah and he was a older school cop and yeah. It happened like twice.

[00:11:05]>> I knew like four or five like different like I know like four or five students and like three or four teachers that had hooked up with a student.

[00:11:15]>> Yeah, high school.

[00:11:16]>> I don't even >> But even now that's a lot of teachers hooking up with with males. There's a lot of teachers hooking up with students today.

[00:11:21]>> Yeah.

[00:11:22]>> And it's like correct the latest one of the girl was like the lady the one of the teachers recorded off her phone having sex with the boys and she said yeah that wasn't that wasn't my best decision. [laughter] So, she said it was like >> my best decision.

[00:11:35]>> Is she They all They all attractive.

[00:11:38]>> Yeah, a lot Sometimes these teachers do with the women teachers they be they be >> Okay, teachers are >> And and they always be married. They always be like married.

[00:11:45]>> I don't know about married, but teachers are very uh hot.

[00:11:48]>> When I started when I was but just to for context, when I started high school at when I I was 14 and I had a teacher in high school at 14 Well, I had it at 14 and I had a I had a different different one at 17 that the teacher was 24.

[00:12:04]So.

[00:12:04]>> But, that's not even a crazy age gap.

[00:12:05]>> Right, like it was like >> Also for teachers it's like I'm not condoning any of this is appropriate, but as we all know >> here here Hold on. I got to clarify this.

[00:12:14]We at the Adulthood Podcast we do not in any way support the pedophilia, I guess.

[00:12:21]>> Hey, but you know what? I I just want to say >> you mean you know what? No, let me get Let me No, let me get through that.

[00:12:26]>> It's not the same. We got to stop acting like it's the same.

[00:12:29]>> We don't support either way of it.

[00:12:31]>> support it, but it's not the same. Young boys hooking up with teachers isn't the same as young girls hooking up with like it's >> I think some some people argue that it is.

[00:12:42]>> I mean, it's it's cuz it's just not the same.

[00:12:46]>> What do you think, Carmen? You're the voice of reason.

[00:12:48]>> I can't comment on I think it's so situational.

[00:12:51]>> Why?

[00:12:52]>> Look.

[00:12:53]Boy little boys, high schoolers are always being horny.

[00:12:57]They're not being groomed. They're always being horny.

[00:13:01]>> What is Can we talk about what is being groomed really? Like what does that look like for a boy?

[00:13:06]Like how do you groom a guy?

[00:13:08]>> Boys are >> Like anybody's been like being asked to stay late after class, but with comments, touches but in a way where it's there's a I want to spend some time with you, maybe reaching out inappropriately outside of school.

[00:13:22]>> to we got to accept that double standard it's not the same.

[00:13:26]>> Little girls >> I had a teacher Now, let me ask you this. We We going We should start a new segment. Is this grooming or is it not?

[00:13:32]>> [laughter] >> I had a teacher who in in high school, she was super flirty with me. Super Like I had her when I was 15 and she was super flirty with me.

[00:13:44]>> Jesus.

[00:13:44]>> But it was public. She wasn't like hiding It wasn't like behind the scenes.

[00:13:48]She would be like she would just She would say it in front of the Yeah, maybe like I That's why I never took it that way. It was never really in private. Like in the class, she would be like, "Ian, you're the most adorable, cute, whatever." She would say that in front of the whole class.

[00:14:02]>> Like yeah, I know. So I never took it like that. But was that grooming?

[00:14:06]>> No.

[00:14:09]Damn, my teachers hated me.

[00:14:10]>> Cuz you was throwing rocks at their car.

[00:14:12]>> Yeah, I was >> [laughter] >> None of my teachers wanted to [ __ ] me.

[00:14:18][ __ ] >> I went to all girls high school, so I don't have like a ton of context because a lot of my teachers were women and a lot of them were lesbians and the male teachers were like >> Grossed out by you guys?

[00:14:30]>> What?

[00:14:31]>> Grossed out by you guys?

[00:14:32]>> Like had like ponytails and [ __ ] Like yeah, we had I went to like a very nice >> I would hate to teach I don't want to teach at a all girls school. You know, I don't want to be I don't want to be around >> Yeah, me neither.

[00:14:42]>> Especially girls that age, they need they need women to mold them.

[00:14:46]>> Also, yeah, like um we're not like I don't know what men think of like an all girls high school, but like we're like wearing no makeup. Like we're like acting like we're like >> [laughter] >> I was wearing basically the [ __ ] I'm wearing right now, but just in a uniform.

[00:14:59]>> You're You're You're You're hot or you're cold. You come in either full makeup like Like what a teacher Met Met Gala dress >> [laughter] >> Ian will never fail to tell me when I look like [ __ ] >> [laughter] >> He'll be like, "What the hell?"

[00:15:14]>> Whatever happened with the guy? And did he ever get back in your life?

[00:15:17]>> Which one?

[00:15:17]>> The one that you were It was going good and then you had to cut him off.

[00:15:21]>> You know, I walked on out on him at that bar. We have not spoken since.

[00:15:26]>> You told me that. Yeah, I was wondering.

[00:15:28]>> Kind of It's kind of bone-chilling, and I know I'll run >> That's good though. What are you going to talk about? Football?

[00:15:32]>> It's It's talk You're probably talking in a couple months.

[00:15:34]>> I just know he'll I'll run into him.

[00:15:36]>> Yeah.

[00:15:36]>> And that is bone-chilling to me cuz he has status on me.

[00:15:41]>> What do you mean?

[00:15:42]>> Like in his career.

[00:15:44]>> Oh, like he's he's above you?

[00:15:46]>> Successful, yeah.

[00:15:47]>> Oh, okay. Okay. Okay.

[00:15:48]>> Um >> Let me ask you this. Reg, you ever broke up with a girl?

[00:15:52]>> Uh no.

[00:15:54]>> Never in your life?

[00:15:55]>> No, I'm a piece of [ __ ] I normally wait till they leave and then be like, "Oh, she left me."

[00:15:58]>> I'm doing a bit about this. Uh I'm doing I'm doing a bit about it. Yeah. No, no, no. It's It's It's just that topic I'm saying. Like guys don't break up with women.

[00:16:06]>> That sucks.

[00:16:08]>> You ever broke up with a guy?

[00:16:08]>> I I'm not brave enough.

[00:16:10]>> Yeah. How do you break up with guys?

[00:16:12]>> Yeah, you got to do You got to be a piece of [ __ ] as a guy, be a jerk, do >> No.

[00:16:16]>> And then she'll And then she'll get some some some bravery and leave you.

[00:16:20]>> So, I don't I don't want to I don't want to do my I don't want to do my bit, but that but that's the the angle that I that I take on it is is I'm like >> Gabe said he hasn't either though.

[00:16:28]>> Most guys haven't. No, this is the thing. I'm like I I'm like sometimes if I'm telling women like you got to learn to break up with guys cuz some Y'all be having us working mad hard to be shitty. It feel like when you trying to lose You try to get fired from your job so you collect unemployment.

[00:16:43]>> Why don't you leave me? Baby girl, I'm not going nowhere.

[00:16:45]>> Why?

[00:16:46]>> Cuz I'm not man enough.

[00:16:48]>> That's pretty That's pretty manly thing to say.

[00:16:50]>> I'm not man enough.

[00:16:51]>> To admit It's hard. How do you do it?

[00:16:53]How do How do you break up with a person?

[00:16:54]>> I'm always uh a sit-down conversation. Typically in a public place.

[00:16:58]>> to talk.

[00:16:59]>> Yeah. I'm >> You need to talk. You need to talk.

[00:17:00]>> You text that?

[00:17:01]>> Text or call like not we need to talk, but like but effectively, yes. And then >> How How do you frame it?

[00:17:07]>> Cuz I It totally depends on the place.

[00:17:09]>> just thinking about it.

[00:17:11]>> I know, but I'm like I'm like I need to talk to you today is typically how I do it cuz I'm like it's too much tension. I to I don't we meet up in a tip in a neutral place.

[00:17:19]>> Yeah, that's three things. Break up, that's three things. Break up, pregnancy, or STD.

[00:17:25]>> Yeah.

[00:17:26]Or I cheated.

[00:17:27]>> Yeah.

[00:17:28]>> Which Yeah, which is break up, probably.

[00:17:30]>> Yeah.

[00:17:30]>> Wait. So, when you say when you say, "Hey, we got to talk." or do you have like a time limit?

[00:17:36]Like, do you have a a a point like a start, middle, and end?

[00:17:42]>> Like, cuz sometimes >> We need to talk can go on so long.

[00:17:47]>> I actually I >> I actually um I >> You You seem like you're quick into the point.

[00:17:52]>> Well, I That's interesting you say that.

[00:17:54]I journal a lot about my relationships and a big way that I like show up in relationships cuz I I'm so emotional is like I write a lot of letters I don't send of like, "Here's how I feel about this." and like whatever. So, by the time I pull up, I'm like, "Yeah, I kind of have like the the page long paper in my head." and I'm just like, "This is what this is." And also I'm like, "I'm very communicative." So, if we're like if it's the end of the road, it's like nobody's ever been blindsided by me being like >> You let them know that things are winding down.

[00:18:24]>> Yeah.

[00:18:24]>> By your complaints.

[00:18:26]>> Not complaints, but just but but like yeah, it's like I've never blindsided somebody. I'm like, I can point to A through Z exhibit of this isn't a lie.

[00:18:34]>> of this as a breakup tactic? I cuz you mentioned the letter thing. Like, I would like to send a like a email or a text, but then be like, "We can meet up to talk about it. I just wanted to get my words out like clearly, and then we can we can have a conversation about it." But cuz I find this like this is how like when I when I was when I was like moving on from management, this is how I did it also.

[00:19:00]Because I feel like sometimes you when you're trying to get your word out, they'll start gaslighting and doing all this other stuff, and then you can't say what you want to say.

[00:19:06]>> 100% slash um I'm just so pro put everything in writing because >> For legal reasons.

[00:19:13]>> What Yeah, I've been really hurt. I've been like just and I'm in a weird friendship moment right now with someone and like I've we've really been like texting it out and I moved the communication to text because on the phone I was like, I hear what you're saying to other people and that's not what where this went down. So like I want to be very [ __ ] clear.

[00:19:33]>> Yeah, I want to be very [ __ ] clear about my intentions and like how I've showed up here and if you don't feel confident about having written receipts, that's your problem. But I'm yeah, I'm pro putting things in writing. I have broken up with someone or like met up with someone and thought it was very obvious that it was a breakup moment and like he kind of blindsided me and the way that he was like, well obviously I want you in my life forever.

[00:19:57]And like I was like, oh, well.

[00:20:00]>> way, that reminds me. Somebody DM Remember last week when we had that when we did the episode when we were like, yo, if you're fighting with somebody, just hit them up and say, I love you.

[00:20:07]>> Two people did that. Like they sent me DMs and they said two people did that.

[00:20:10]>> the success rate?

[00:20:11]>> Yeah, they I mean, you're not I mean, telling somebody you I love you is not going to cause like problems, you know? The both of them they said it was good. They was like it's good. Like it opened up communication again. And I was like, how'd you do it? And both of them was like, I just randomly just sent and I I I just sent, I love you. I said nothing else.

[00:20:27]>> And [laughter] I was like, I love you.

[00:20:29]>> Good. People want to hear that. That's good.

[00:20:31]>> That's really beautiful.

[00:20:32]>> Somebody sent me that recently who I haven't been talking to.

[00:20:34]>> Really?

[00:20:35]>> Yeah.

[00:20:36]>> That's good.

[00:20:36]>> Yeah.

[00:20:36]>> Was it on Mother's Day?

[00:20:38]>> No, it was it was not. It was after.

[00:20:40]>> Oh.

[00:20:40]>> It was after.

[00:20:41]>> Last week.

[00:20:42]>> Um >> Um >> Yeah.

[00:20:43]>> Can I do a Well, this actually leads into one of my adulthood questions.

[00:20:48]Cuz both of you seem to have had like multiple relationships um of varying degrees of success. Um >> We're not thirties. We've been around.

[00:20:57]>> I haven't.

[00:20:58]>> I've been around.

[00:20:58]>> about a relationship one time on this podcast.

[00:21:00]>> in life.

[00:21:01]>> Oh, in life. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:21:04]>> [laughter] >> Well, um Okay, my question is like what is a non-negotiable for you in terms of how someone communicates during a conflict?

[00:21:13]Like what do you need?

[00:21:14]>> Perfect question. I got one, it's easy for me. You can't raise your voice at me.

[00:21:19]You have to like I like as a as a woman if you're dating me, you can have me wrapped around your finger if you approach it with femininity and and and and softness. I would do whatever you do. If you raise your voice at me, you're going to get an opponent and you will never win.

[00:21:39]>> Okay.

[00:21:40]>> An opponent sound like you about to throw up your your hand.

[00:21:43]>> I might if you get loud.

[00:21:45]>> Uh You can get loud with me. That don't bother me.

[00:21:49]>> Some guys like it. Some guys think that's passion. I don't. I don't.

[00:21:52]>> Yeah, it's like you get under their skin and it's like you know that song when you mad?

[00:21:56]>> I'm all about this now, especially now my adult in my adult life it's more about let's communicate with respect.

[00:22:04]>> You can you can raise some voices and and and still be respectful.

[00:22:07]>> I talk pa- I talk uh passionately, but I don't yell.

[00:22:10]>> yelling. Yeah, like I mean I mean I'm talking about like that ghetto like You don't like ghetto. You I'm talking about that, you know, [ __ ] you like like really you can't do that with me. You can't.

[00:22:21]>> No, I don't think I can handle that either, but I don't even talk I don't even talk to girls that like do that.

[00:22:25]>> Yeah, I generally don't like if you cuz you they'll show signs early on, right? And then you'll just be like nah, this ain't it.

[00:22:32]Yeah.

[00:22:33]>> Uh I don't like I don't My last joint, I remember she started crying like out in public.

[00:22:42]And I was like >> stop a girl from crying.

[00:22:44]>> That [ __ ] pissed me off so much.

[00:22:46]>> Um Yo, I be crying.

[00:22:48]>> No, girls be crying. Women be crying.

[00:22:50]>> in public. That looks crazy.

[00:22:52]>> How that don't look crazy, bro?

[00:22:53]Everybody knows women cry.

[00:22:55]>> no. Out in public?

[00:22:57]>> Yes.

[00:22:57]>> Control your [ __ ] tears, okay? You get hold it, you wrap it up.

[00:23:04]We getting a Uber, we go home. Don't do it in a crowded bar.

[00:23:08]>> I'm like this with yelling. I feel like just as passionate as you feel about the crying, I feel like that if you start yelling, especially in public.

[00:23:13]>> Hold your tears unless let's get out of here. Don't cry and then you got people looking at us crazy cuz you boohooing about some [ __ ] Carmen, don't you cry at a bar.

[00:23:27]>> Don't start crying now, Carmen. I've started I've started I've started to cry in public when I've been having but then we always are like, all right, let's >> I don't mind if you cry. I don't mind if you cry.

[00:23:36]>> I'm going to be I'm like I could cry right now.

[00:23:39]>> Yeah, yeah, no, you're good at it. I I don't mind >> I'll be like this.

[00:23:41]>> I'm out of here. Just got to go. No, I don't care if you cry. Like I I I don't want like I'm not a fan and I don't want to get killed for this, but I'm just not a fan of these uh uh women who have like more more regularly more traits that are regularly attributed to men. Like that. Like like the aggressiveness or like the trying to be tough. Like Like yeah like >> Oh, you don't like play fighting?

[00:24:09]>> No, I ain't play fighting with you.

[00:24:11]>> No?

[00:24:11]>> No. I mean we I mean we could like a little bit but like not a little tussle.

[00:24:14]Yeah, a little tussle for fun but don't don't get crazy. Like cuz I I like feminine girls. Is that gay to say?

[00:24:23]I like [laughter] >> Tell us.

[00:24:25]>> I don't I like masculine girls.

[00:24:28]>> I think you do a little bit.

[00:24:30]>> I don't know. I like feminine, too. But I don't mind Yeah, I mean.

[00:24:33]>> Carmen, let's reverse it though. You on a date with a guy, he starts crying in public.

[00:24:37]>> Oh, yeah.

[00:24:38]I have gone through this before.

[00:24:40]>> Blocked.

[00:24:40]>> No.

[00:24:41]>> How do you feel?

[00:24:42]You the type of person you see somebody crying and you're like, can I join in on this?

[00:24:45]>> No.

[00:24:46]>> a glass and then get his tear and go >> [snorts] >> Lick it off his face. No. Um That's happened to me twice. Ugh. in a fight, a guy started crying.

[00:24:57]>> I just get really s- like I just get really quiet. Um it's almost a like like a pause for gameplay.

[00:25:03]>> That's what we That's what happens with us. Like we we like we don't know what >> like, "Yo, shut up." No, I'm joking.

[00:25:09]>> This is why we're not dating, honestly.

[00:25:10]>> You ever a crowd on a on a >> Absolutely.

[00:25:13]>> On a fight? In a d- You did?

[00:25:14]>> Yeah.

[00:25:15]>> I don't think I have.

[00:25:16]>> cried my way out of a lie.

[00:25:18]>> I >> [laughter] >> think you are sh- Oh my god.

[00:25:22]>> So, you got caught up and started crying, bro?

[00:25:24]>> Sometimes you got to do that. Oh, man, don't clip this.

[00:25:26]>> Oh, [ __ ] >> You are toxic.

[00:25:29]>> Why?

[00:25:30]>> This is honesty.

[00:25:31]>> You got caught up and started crying?

[00:25:33]>> You never cry?

[00:25:34]>> No.

[00:25:34]>> No? What do you do? What manipulation tactic do you do?

[00:25:39]Everybody got one.

[00:25:40]>> Well, f- first of all, I I've honest- I've never been caught up.

[00:25:42]>> Okay, but everybody has a manipulation tac- tactic. Go around the room. Gabe, what's your manipulation tactic?

[00:25:49]>> I don't think he got one yet. He's only 23. He ain't developed yet.

[00:25:54]>> He's 24.

[00:25:55]>> I think mine's like pretty simple, like basic level one manipulation.

[00:26:00]>> Mine, no.

[00:26:02]>> Get some bass, come on.

[00:26:03]>> No, mine's pretty simple. I think it's just the like if I say something mean or inst- instantly I'm like, "I'm just joking." That's very simple entry level manipulation.

[00:26:12]>> That's a good one.

[00:26:12]>> You You look You look like you cuz you look like a type of dude who's like easy going, but you It looks like when you get mad, you you don't have a good uh >> I don't have a good mad.

[00:26:23]>> Yeah, like like you're mad like cuz some you take it too far like you might take it too far if you get mad.

[00:26:27]>> Interesting.

[00:26:28]>> Are you that? Like does that happen ever?

[00:26:29]>> I feel like I'm just like I don't know how to act when I get mad, so I instantly just shut down. I'm just like I'm >> bad. That's not Therapy would tell you that's not good.

[00:26:38]>> That's what you get, Gabe. Like shut down, storm off, but not say anything.

[00:26:42]>> I feel I feel like I thought he I thought you might like start cursing, like saying like crazy like cursing. Cuz some people like that. I'm like that, too, but therapy says that's not good, but I think that's better.

[00:26:52]>> Carmen, what's your manipulation move?

[00:26:54]>> I'm not I'm honestly like genuinely I'm very emotional and I've been therapy for years. So, I'm typically in an argument, I'm >> Have you ever weaponized your tears?

[00:27:05]>> Yes.

[00:27:06]>> She has to.

[00:27:07]>> Yeah, I don't even know if I could weaponize it cuz again I just I cry a lot, but I would say my manipulation tactic, I don't know if it's manipulation, but if I'm in a conflict with someone, I'm very good about swaying the court of public opinion in my favor.

[00:27:21]>> Like you make good you make good arguments?

[00:27:23]>> Yeah {slash} I will ensure that the community around us uh hears the side of my story.

[00:27:30]>> Oh my god, that's so [ __ ] that's some foul [ __ ] >> I'm I'm like this too. I'm like this too.

[00:27:35]>> [laughter] >> That's some manipulation that's some white lady [ __ ] >> Don't stoop to me.

[00:27:39]>> I think that's how I got an old enough I've stopped. I don't want to bring nobody into it. Like I'll just I'll just ask my boy or maybe >> I'll go Shut the [ __ ] up and let's get out of here.

[00:27:49]Like that.

[00:27:50]>> I'll I'll do that. I'll do it in a good whisper.

[00:27:52]>> I don't believe you Reggie. I feel like you I feel like women beat you.

[00:27:55]>> What?

[00:27:56]>> No, no, no. I mean I like I like to play fight. I talk [ __ ] So, every now and then you'll get a like that.

[00:28:01]>> women swing on you. I'll [ __ ] >> I'm yeah, I I do get >> [laughter] >> Yeah, I mean sometimes you might want to pop me. Like Carmen has wanted to pop me a couple times. It's just like a pop.

[00:28:11]Shut up. Like that.

[00:28:11]>> whispered, I was like that was attractive.

[00:28:14]>> Oh, but yeah, but I I'll but he said shut up, [ __ ] >> No.

[00:28:18]>> In public in public, I'm like let's get the [ __ ] shut up. Like I I'll whisper that.

[00:28:24]Like I can't do the public [ __ ] I can't do it.

[00:28:26]So, that would drive me crazy.

[00:28:28]>> I feel like I don't know I I I don't know if it's a manipulation a manipulation tactic, but like if I when I'm in a relationship I'm dating a person like if we got into that point she already know the type of person that I am. So, like nine out of 10 times they won't even do no crazy stuff like that. Like like make a scene in public. That's so embarrassing like a a crazy scene. But I guess anyone can lose the control, right? Like you get so mad, you lose control. That could happen to anyone, but I don't I don't I had a girl swing on me one time.

[00:28:57]>> What?

[00:28:57]>> Yeah, one time. Yeah, and that was like a big, big deal breaker.

[00:29:02]>> Yeah.

[00:29:02]>> Yeah.

[00:29:03]>> It's the same thing.

[00:29:04]>> No, Reggie get he get hit at home all the time.

[00:29:06]>> No, no, no, no, no.

[00:29:08]My girl don't swing on me.

[00:29:09]>> Never?

[00:29:10]>> Never.

[00:29:11]I mean, one time >> Yeah.

[00:29:13]>> Yeah, then never.

[00:29:14]>> [laughter] >> No, no, no, she never swung on me.

[00:29:16]>> No, I'm not Yeah, I I can >> We're sweet. I'm I'm I'm I'm sweet, she's sweet. We don't do that.

[00:29:20]>> I shut down, but it's not But I You think that's a manipulation tactic?

[00:29:24]What, shutting down?

[00:29:25]>> Yeah, shutting down the the silent treatment?

[00:29:27]>> Yeah, but it's not the silent treatment.

[00:29:28]I just don't want to say something that I'm going to regret. Like I'm not even I'm not trying to be cute. I'm not trying to like I'm just trying to avoid it getting bigger than it is cuz I know if I just waited out, I'mma get over it.

[00:29:38]So, I'd rather just do that than get into it. I'mma say something that that is going to be harder, you know, to come back from.

[00:29:44]>> Yeah, I mean, I think >> Cuz everything's a little bit everything's a little bit >> I'm manipulating myself if anything.

[00:29:49]I'm like, "Yo, just don't even acknowledge it. Just like get over it and just you'll be over it soon, so you don't got to get into it." I don't think I'm manipulating the other person.

[00:29:58]But maybe it is cuz it's kind of it's kind of like they're like, "Oh, if I mess up, he's not going to talk to >> you're not going to say nothing?

[00:30:02]>> Yeah, yeah, if I mess up, you're not going to talk to me.

[00:30:04]>> You're not going to say nothing? You're going to sit there?

[00:30:07]>> But you ever ran out of You ever like was like, "I I just don't have I don't have anything to say."

[00:30:11]>> Oh, for sure.

[00:30:11]>> ran out of things to say? You never, right?

[00:30:15]>> No, yes. Well, that's what I'm done.

[00:30:17]It's I'm just like, I don't even I'm not even interested in thinking about you anymore.

[00:30:20]>> Yeah, like I have nothing I have nothing left to say.

[00:30:23]>> Yeah. Um okay, can I pivot?

[00:30:26]>> Yeah.

[00:30:27]>> Okay, have you guys heard about the Hanta or Hanta virus?

[00:30:31]>> Yeah.

[00:30:32]>> The Hanta Yeah, it was on a cruise, right?

[00:30:33]>> Yeah. Um I obviously it's not like transmittable like COVID was as as far as we know today.

[00:30:41]But >> say we got hit with another pandemic right now, how would like what is the Now, knowing what we know about how bad COVID was, what is like the first >> first thing I'm doing is I'm going on TikTok and I'm learning every dance. And when we come out of the pandemic, I'm playing arenas.

[00:31:00]>> Period.

[00:31:01]>> I'm not going to let this happen again.

[00:31:03]>> Period. [laughter] >> I'm not going to be at home while y'all learning these dances. I'm learning these TikTok dances.

[00:31:08]>> Period.

[00:31:09]>> Bro, I'm hitting the Fit N All, bro. I'm out of here.

[00:31:12]>> You hitting the what?

[00:31:13]>> The Fit N All. I'll check y'all later.

[00:31:15]>> [laughter] >> You can't go through it again?

[00:31:17]>> I'm out, bro. I can't. I can't, bro. I'm out. I see y'all at the crossroads.

[00:31:23]I hear the trumpets. I can't >> Whatever whatever new thing comes out during the next pandemic, I'm on it, bro. I was chilling during COVID. I thought we was all chilling. People was becoming millionaires.

[00:31:33]>> Yeah, bro. I turned down a lot of stuff during the pandemic. I did go to Tulum, though. That was fun.

[00:31:39]>> During the pandemic?

[00:31:40]>> Yeah, [laughter] I was one of those people. I didn't say anything. I didn't post. I just went.

[00:31:43]>> By yourself?

[00:31:44]>> No, me and my lady.

[00:31:45]>> Oh.

[00:31:45]>> Yeah.

[00:31:45]>> What about you, Carmine?

[00:31:48]>> I think I'm leaving New York. That's for damn sure.

[00:31:50]>> You didn't leave last time?

[00:31:51]>> No, I went home for like 2 months. When like when I saw like the Red Cross ship in the East River, I was like I mean, I was 22 when that when that happened. I was like I had just moved to the city like 6 months prior. I was like I'm >> When that Red Cross boat came into the river, I was like, "This is This is serious."

[00:32:09]>> Yeah. Like it was and it was on like a cloudy day. I was like, "Yeah, I'm not."

[00:32:14]>> I went home and it was cuz I knew I knew Philly had some Philly was shut down, but not like New York. New York was shut down.

[00:32:22]>> Shut down, boy. It was >> like, "All right, it's over. I'm going home." And uh Philly was I'm so glad I did that. It was very fun.

[00:32:30]>> Yeah, I remember I remember like I drove like the first week or two of COVID.

[00:32:34]Like I had to do I had to take One of my my my Godfather had COVID, right? And he didn't know it was like the first week he didn't know he had COVID and he he he wanted a thermometer so he could monitor his his fever cuz he didn't know how high it was going to have a thermometer.

[00:32:47]And you know during COVID all of them sold out. So we had one. So I I remember driving it to his house. This is like the Saturday the first Saturday of the shutdown.

[00:32:56]I drove it to his house like at 7:00 p.m. Saturday and not a single car on the road. Saturday night in New York City. That was insane.

[00:33:03]>> New York was crazy.

[00:33:05]>> I was like this is wild.

[00:33:07]>> it weird? I don't know if you guys feel this way. I mean I know a lot of people talk about it online but like I feel like I like blacked out 2020 and 2021 from like my life and it's like do you think that's ever going to come back around for us cuz obviously like a mass public trauma. I mean literally the entire world went through this like very traumatic social isolation and I mean work has never been the same since it happened. Like I keep thinking I'm like if that didn't happen I'd be in an office 5 days a week. Like do you think we're ever going to have to reckon with that like mentally?

[00:33:40]>> you mean like you said people forgot about it?

[00:33:43]>> I just I just like blacked out COVID.

[00:33:46]>> I remember the playoffs and I remember Kobe dying.

[00:33:49]And that was it.

[00:33:50]That's the only thing I remember from COVID.

[00:33:52]>> What when Kobe died it wasn't COVID though. I mean it was we was already out of it. We was coming out.

[00:33:56]>> No, we was just we it was still in the beginning it was January.

[00:33:58]>> out I was on a plane when I found out Kobe died.

[00:34:00]>> Yeah, it was in January. I think it was just starting.

[00:34:03]>> high on a boat in Hawaii.

[00:34:05]>> COVID.

[00:34:05]>> Yeah, I think then COVID happened.

[00:34:07]>> It was it was like the week before COVID happened. I remember.

[00:34:10]>> Yeah, oh okay. Okay. Yeah, cuz >> But it was I was in Europe and they were already masked up at the airport and me and my friend were like what the like we had no idea.

[00:34:18]>> being in LA and it was empty and I just thought I was a dead man.

[00:34:22]>> I was in LA the week before shutdown in New York. Like I was on a I was on all the like I the week before New York shutdown I went I went LA or Hawaii.

[00:34:31]>> and then the masks like I don't want to go through masks again.

[00:34:34]No.

[00:34:35]>> It wasn't that bad.

[00:34:36]>> Masks was awful, man. I want to see faces.

[00:34:38]>> of things, it wasn't that bad.

[00:34:39]>> I want to see faces.

[00:34:40]>> What we got some DM Let's do the DM in the call.

[00:34:43]>> Okay.

[00:34:43]>> Don't forget, guys, uh to send in your DMs on the Instagram page. That's @adulthubpod.

[00:34:49]And leave us a voicemail 347-378-9423.

[00:34:55]Also, I mean, we taped this Obviously, you know you guys know we pre-taped. Today, my episode on the Sherri Shepherd show came out.

[00:35:03]And it's I think it's up on YouTube, so uh go watch it. That was a lot of fun.

[00:35:06]Shout out to Sherri and her whole staff out there. I got a I got a few things coming out in the next few weeks on television. So, if you're a fan, stay tuned.

[00:35:14]What's up, folks? The Grove and Pines Film Festival is a love letter to Fire Island, New York. An LGBTQIA focused film festival taking place in Cherry Grove and the Fire Island Pines. 3 days of exciting film screenings, top-tier entertainment, exclusive parties, and so much more. It is a celebration of authentic queer storytelling. Tickets and passes are on sale now for September 18th, 19th, and 20th. Join us for a stunning celebration of brilliant artistry, community building, and amplifying the voices of marginalized artists to an audience of tastemakers and industry insiders. Come experience the absolute magic of this very special sandbar.

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[00:36:11]>> Here is a DM. Um He said, "Hey, Adulthood. So, I've been seeing this girl on and off for 4.5 years now. We've >> What?

[00:36:21]>> four or five >> Sorry, 4.5 years now.

[00:36:25]>> Yeah, no, I'm still I'm saying just casual, just, you know, seeing where it goes.

[00:36:28]>> We've been exclusive for most of it and officially had a title for 1 month of that.

[00:36:34]>> What?

[00:36:35]>> Most of the breaks have been on her terms, but there was an incident that changed the way I thought about the whole relationship. She went away for work for a few months and we decided to not do distance. I knew and figured she'd go out on dates while there and she confirmed that. Nothing happened out there, parenthesis, she says. I knew when she'd be back in our city and waited for a month to see if she would reach out. She didn't. After a few cocktails, I decided to reach out. We rekindled and hit it off crazy well as if no time had passed.

[00:37:07]But the second time we linked, she told me she had been on a few dates and ended up hooking up with the dude after being in back for a couple weeks. Naturally, an argument ensued, but ultimately she admitted she regretted it and hadn't thought of him since. Weirdly enough, me and the dude had some similarities.

[00:37:25]>> We >> We got over it >> Yeah, heard.

[00:37:28]>> and has been business as usual.

[00:37:29][laughter] >> You guys are brothers.

[00:37:34]>> Um >> Ask him [laughter] about brothers.

[00:37:36]>> She said we got over it and has been business as usual for the past few months. This is the last paragraph. I guess I never forgave her for this and I'm not sure I can. I know she's not good for me, but there's got to be a reason we both keep coming back to this, right? She just called it off again and I think this is the most okay I've ever been with it out of all the other times, but something still tells me there's something more for us. Do you think I should let her walk or offer slash try one last time? Appreciate y'all opinions. Keep up with the good content.

[00:38:03]Peace.

[00:38:05]>> Of course you should let her walk. Come on. 4 and 1/2 years, like what are you waiting for? First of all, the fact that you're even upset about this, this girl, and this isn't adultery, so I consider you family. I don't want you get offended by what I'm about to say. But this girl, in no way, shape, or form does she belong to you at all. And she's been nothing but clear about that. So the idea that you would get mad that she hooked up with somebody is insane.

[00:38:29]She has no ties to you whatsoever and neither do you to her. She has tried to cut it off with you multiple times in 4 and 1/2 years. And yes, she goes back.

[00:38:39]That doesn't mean you guys love each other or it's meant to be. That just means you're horny and you're looking for comfort.

[00:38:45]>> The fact that she told you >> I'm being too rude. I'm being too nice.

[00:38:47]But you need to hear it.

[00:38:49]>> The fact that she told you is like >> it is.

[00:38:51]>> Yeah, it's over, bro.

[00:38:52]>> We got to stop. We got to stop. We got to stop with this. We got to stop. Look, first of all, nobody belongs to nobody.

[00:38:59]Even I would argue even your wife doesn't belong to you.

[00:39:03]>> But that but some some situations get you killed, man.

[00:39:06]>> Yeah, yeah, yeah. But but let's let's stay away from that. Let's stay away from that.

[00:39:09]>> Somebody's wife, they'll kill you.

[00:39:10]>> I I follow the I follow the Buddhist principle. Everyone is borrowed. You don't own anyone. You're just It was just your time. You have 4 and 1/2 years. That's a good run. It's a good run.

[00:39:21]It's done. She's sleeping with other guys. You need to go sleep with other women. Do you.

[00:39:26]>> really love her >> Find your person. This ain't the one for you. If in 4 and 1/2 years it didn't work out, you think it's going to work out now? Come on, brother. You're an adult. You're you're more mature than that.

[00:39:35]>> I also think the trying one more time thing is just like um trying what? Like what have you not tried in the past 4 and 1/2 >> He's mentally masturbating is what he's doing.

[00:39:45]>> What do you mean?

[00:39:45]>> He's masturbating in his mind because he's thinking what it's going to be and thinking it's going to be so good. But it's not good.

[00:39:52]It's going to be bad.

[00:39:53]>> It'll be very bad.

[00:39:55]>> good for like a week. You'll hit it off.

[00:39:56]She has a personality. Obviously you guys have chemistry. But at this point in each other's lives, you're not you're not right for each other, obviously.

[00:40:03]Maybe down the line. Give her some space. Maybe down the line she matures, you mature, you find each other at different points in your life and you can develop that chemistry that you already have. But for now, man, this girl wants to have fun. So leave her alone and send her Send us her Instagram.

[00:40:19]>> Yeah.

[00:40:20]Yeah, definitely do that part.

[00:40:22]>> [laughter] >> What's his name? Shout out to him.

[00:40:25]>> Um his Instagram handle is Fidel Cash Flow.

[00:40:28]>> Shout out to Fidel. Look, shout out to Fidel. Look, don't don't take you know this is a comedy podcast.

[00:40:33]>> his Instagram that's his name on Instagram. His handle is @loriharveysimp.

[00:40:38]>> That's his handle?

[00:40:39]>> [laughter] >> Shout out to Lori Harvey Simp, man.

[00:40:43]Look, you an adult and your family.

[00:40:46]Don't take what we say personally, but as much as I'm joking, that is the reality. This girl clearly clearly she's on a different time that you are. Hit up Lori Harvey. See what she's doing. Let us see your Instagram handle.

[00:40:59]>> Get wasted start DMing celebs.

[00:41:01]>> Yeah, one of them is going to answer.

[00:41:03]One of them is going to answer. I saw my boy >> not going to answer, they'll look though. You'll see that seen.

[00:41:08]>> Bro, this is how this is where Instagram takes you. I saw my boy Usama. Obviously we both know Usama, very funny comic.

[00:41:14]>> Shout out to Usama.

[00:41:16]>> Yeah, Usama Siddique on Funny AF, one of the finalists. But I saw I saw he posted on Instagram like yesterday. He DM'd Ariana Grande and she replied.

[00:41:25]>> Yeah, she did. She did.

[00:41:27]>> She replied.

[00:41:28]This is what a Netflix show will get you. Don't let me get on television.

[00:41:32]>> Right.

[00:41:33]>> What's you on television?

[00:41:35]>> No, I mean like real for real.

[00:41:37]Like something with millions of you know millions of millions of viewers.

[00:41:40]>> God.

[00:41:40]>> Who's the most famous person following you?

[00:41:42]>> Following me? I got some NBA players.

[00:41:46]Like this that's probably it. Some NBA players. Some baseball players too, huh?

[00:41:49]>> Any baddies?

[00:41:49]>> Baddies? No not famous ones, but like a couple Miami things.

[00:41:53]>> Okay.

[00:41:53]>> You know? Which which which that's like famous.

[00:41:57]>> Oh, yeah.

[00:41:57]>> As far as women go.

[00:41:59]Uh sorry. Uh can we can we do the phone call?

[00:42:03]>> Yeah, but we really can't hear it.

[00:42:04]>> All right, so um we got a phone call.

[00:42:06]Make sure when you send us these voicemails that you're calling from a place that has good service and we can hear it cuz >> Stand up.

[00:42:12]>> we don't want to miss the stuff that you're saying, but uh they transcribed it here, so we're going to try to you think we could read it?

[00:42:19]>> Um, yeah, so So, he shouts us out and he says, "Okay, so today is 4 years. There was a girl that my older brother is coming, right? I'm assuming seen. And she has a homegirl that comes along with her like every time we go on a date.

[00:42:40]Every time my older brother goes on a date, she comes along. So, my brother takes me to have her like preoccupied or be with her so they can have fun, right?

[00:42:48]Mind you, we drive like 45 minutes to see those girls and we've been seeing those girls for a minute now. And when I see um, my older brother's date end up with like uh I see my older brother's date end up like happy, laughing, and giggling, right? But when we book a hotel, the only thing my girl wants to do is cuddling and she snores like a pig at night.

[00:43:11]>> Wow, not our words.

[00:43:12]>> Sometimes >> not our words.

[00:43:14]>> Sometimes I go to my car >> women to animals on this podcast.

[00:43:18]>> [laughter] >> Sometimes >> I'm glad Carmen is reading this.

[00:43:21]>> Sometimes I go to my car and sleep there. Also, I'm so >> That's terrible, bro.

[00:43:26]>> [laughter] >> Um Also, I'm spending like my money, my time, everything. How do I make um, like this [ __ ] work and like clap this [ __ ] And yeah, like how do I make things work cuz the only thing she keeps saying is I'm on my period, blah, blah, blah.

[00:43:44]Yeah, uh I think that's all I got. Thanks for listening.

[00:43:49]>> First of all, first of all, first of all, I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say AI transcribed this phone call. So, we don't know if this is actually what he said.

[00:43:58]>> I think snoring like a pig is uh >> That one came through clear.

[00:44:02]That one came through clear. But with everything else, we don't know if this is exactly what you said, so we don't want to put this on you. That's the first thing. Second of all, if you're calling the Adulthood Podcast asking us how to get you laid, >> He said he >> that is not what we're here for.

[00:44:15]>> He said he was >> for adulting purposes only. This is a show about growing up.

[00:44:21]But if every time you hang out, the girl just happens to be on her menstrual cycle, let it go, bro. You're on a two-man mission that's going nowhere.

[00:44:30]Now you're stuck with this snoring um what's the word he used?

[00:44:35]>> She snores like a pig.

[00:44:37]>> Right. This snoring similar to what a pig not that she is.

[00:44:40]>> in your car when you paid for a hotel.

[00:44:42]>> That's insane. That is insane.

[00:44:44]>> What what >> Also, see your brother can get laid. I'm like, your brother can have sex on his own. It sounds like him and that girl what do you say? Laugh and giggling smiling. I'm like, you stop accompanying your brother on these dates.

[00:44:55]>> The fact that you did this more than one You know what? Twice. I'll give you two times. One time One time she had a menstrual cycle. Let me try again. I put in the work before. Let me try again on the second time. After the second time, the fact that you kept coming to this, you're a sadist.

[00:45:09]>> I don't Yeah.

[00:45:10]>> Does that make you a sadist? Does that make sense? You like pain?

[00:45:13]>> Yeah.

[00:45:13]>> Or is he a masochist?

[00:45:15]>> Bro, he's trying to clap.

[00:45:17]>> Asking us like we could save him. This is done. First of all, you see how she snores?

[00:45:23]It's not going to be good.

[00:45:25]>> [laughter] >> I can't get over I'm sleeping in my car.

[00:45:29]>> Sleeping in your car is madness. You're homeless, poor girl.

[00:45:34]>> Also, why are you booking a hotel when they only live 45 minutes away?

[00:45:37]>> Cuz they're trying to do the thing. He's trying to clap.

[00:45:41]>> And she snort?

[00:45:43]>> Sorry, I shouldn't have done that.

[00:45:45]>> Yeah, if you know she snore, bro, you got to bring your headphones. You shouldn't have to sleep in your car.

[00:45:48]>> I ain't going nowhere. At this big age, I'm I know you like to snore. I I ain't going nowhere with nobody snores.

[00:45:55]Nobody. I'm not putting up with that. I need my sleep. I can't sleep through it.

[00:45:59]It's not Like a little casual snore is fine, but like not like a pig. You snore like a pig?

[00:46:04]>> Uh I don't think so.

[00:46:07]>> I can't do it.

[00:46:08]>> Lori Harvey people.

[00:46:09]>> Yeah. Yeah, I can't do it.

[00:46:10]>> I can't get over snores like [laughter] a pig. I can't believe that. Um >> How you even attracted to that?

[00:46:18]>> I mean, baddies be snoring though.

[00:46:20]>> Baddies be snoring.

[00:46:23]That's the thing.

[00:46:24]>> App title. Also, yeah, I I think like my God, I'm so disap- It's not that I'm disap- pointing these DMs. I just want to empower these men.

[00:46:32]>> Okay.

[00:46:33]>> You are in control of your own life.

[00:46:35]>> You this is Remember who you're talking to. This is Lar- Lori Harvey simp that you're speaking to.

[00:46:39]>> Lori Harvey simp.

[00:46:40]>> just know the type of Okay.

[00:46:42]>> a pig. Great. Um There are women out there who will sleep with you. These two women are not those women.

[00:46:52]>> Oh, no.

[00:46:53]>> Lori Harvey simp is an adulterer, so he's one of ours.

[00:46:56]>> Yeah.

[00:46:57]>> We're not We're not >> ask him why is the name? What made him go with that?

[00:47:01]>> Yeah, maybe Maybe we should start doing follow-ups.

[00:47:04]When people say >> When we recorded you, we talked about your DM. We have a few follow-up questions.

[00:47:08]>> Yeah, when people send us questions, maybe we should start sending follow-ups. No, but look, um Lori He had He actually had a He has the girl for and a half years, but, you know, I I think that >> I think both of these guys is like Both of these guys are too stuck. You need to You need to move on. Move on. There's There's more out there. And you And you're young. You're in your 20s, 30s, 40s. I'm going to go I'm going to go into the 40s. 20, 30, 40s. This This This is your young Like this is the youngest you'll ever be. Go out there.

[00:47:33]Go date. Meet new people. Like if something ain't working out, you don't need to be You don't need to be sleeping in your car, man.

[00:47:39]>> Go to a wedding.

[00:47:41]>> Get your ass grabbed.

[00:47:43]Go to a wedding with Carmen. That's what happens when you're outside. When you go places, people grab your ass.

[00:47:49]So stop >> And now we've gotten to starting.

[00:47:51]>> Stop simping off one person when you could be out getting your ass grabbed by multiple >> Two or three.

[00:47:57]>> by multiple people. Let's get a grow up and then we get out of here.

[00:48:01]>> Oh, I don't go you go first.

[00:48:03]>> You got a grow up?

[00:48:03]>> Uh what's my grow up? What's my grow up? Uh [ __ ] I said something earlier.

[00:48:09]I can't think.

[00:48:10]>> You got a grow up? You got one coming?

[00:48:11]>> Can I say I this I don't want to launch to a whole other thing, but I'm I'm torn with my grow up. I'm in like a I'm in a friend conflict where like obviously you're hearing it from me, but like >> Um >> the other party is being very difficult to just come to the table and like after months of conflict just have a conversation and I think honestly Ian inspired me with the text I love you. I haven't gotten the balls to send her this text, but I think prioritizing like if you want a relationship with this person, you have to prioritize the relationship over your own pride and I think >> Oh, big time.

[00:48:51]>> I'm at a point where I just need to double down on my text and be like cut the [ __ ] Like I miss you and I want to have a conversation.

[00:49:00]>> This is the only way and every relationship is the only way it works. I was speaking to a friend recently, they were telling me about a problem they were having with their with their parents and I was like somebody has to give. Like if if you're both you're you're both just stubborn and you're both somebody has to give.

[00:49:15]>> really [ __ ] up here. So that's why I'm like it's frustrating that like and I'm not I know you're hearing it from my end, but like trust me the stubbornness is coming from I don't want to have to admit >> But you didn't make you So if she's messed up, you have to like you didn't make the choice of like she's so messed up that I'm going to move on with my life without her. So that makes then that puts you in a position where then you have to give.

[00:49:38]Like even though she messed up, you have to give or you have the option of moving on and cutting out your life. But if you want her into your life, you got to give.

[00:49:47]>> Yeah, I think I just like I've gone enough time with taking space and being like I fine. Like if you're going to act like this." And I think about her every day. And yeah.

[00:49:55]>> Some people you got to meet them where they're at, and that sucks as an adult.

[00:49:58]>> It It's really It's really >> Yeah. Cuz you think like, "Why can't we just meet at an objective place?"

[00:50:05]>> And >> The middle.

[00:50:06]>> And then it's uh risking like am I putting myself in the exact same position to get hurt again?

[00:50:13]>> Yes.

[00:50:13]>> If you're going to act like this, and I think that's what I'm sitting with. So, it's not a grow up. It's more so like uh reck- I'm just at a real serious crossroads of like she's really treated me in a way that I'm like not okay with.

[00:50:27]And I love her.

[00:50:30]>> Yeah, I mean you You only option is move on with life without her, without her being an important part of your life, or come to the table. And I imagine you already said all the things, right? Like you've You've said all the things about you feel about it to her.

[00:50:44]>> Kind of, but like it's also she just hasn't been willing to like have a conversation.

[00:50:48]>> Maybe Maybe you guys need to see each other in person. Maybe in person things will get better.

[00:50:52]>> I've been trying to do.

[00:50:53]>> So, it doesn't doesn't feel like as combative as it can feel through text or phone. Maybe that's a thing. But I mean, she should know also if if we're going to be Like, you should be like, "If we're going to be friends, you're going to have to give. Like, I'm giving.

[00:51:05]I feel like you're completely wrong, and I'm coming to the table. I'm giving.

[00:51:08]You're going to have to give. If you're telling me you're not willing to give, then that's fine. Then we just can't be friends because it's never going to work like this."

[00:51:14]>> Yeah.

[00:51:14]>> And like if if you're willing to give, I'm giving. I I think you're [ __ ] up and wrong, but I'm I'm willing to talk to you about it. And if you're not willing, then let's just let's just wrap this up, I think.

[00:51:25]>> Yeah.

[00:51:26]>> Cuz >> Yeah, but I think you're right. It's just worth the like the last, I guess, in-person conversation, and just make sure there's nothing left unsaid.

[00:51:34]>> Yeah.

[00:51:35]>> But it's hard.

[00:51:36]>> Yeah.

[00:51:37]>> Yeah.

[00:51:37]>> It is hard. It is especially dealing with friends cuz friends could be sometimes be harder than like a a relationship cuz a relationship you just like, "I'll just find a new person." But with a friend you're like, "I don't know if I could find a new friend like that.

[00:51:47]You can find friends, but you you don't know if you can find that same bond you know, with other people.

[00:51:51]>> Yeah.

[00:51:51]>> Um I had a I had a grow up. I went and I got a big big adult went and got a tune-up on my car.

[00:51:58]>> Wow.

[00:51:59]>> Yeah, and it is a thousand like a thousand dollars, bro.

[00:52:02]>> There you go.

[00:52:03]>> And I don't know what they did. Like it's the same. The car's the same runs the same. Like it's a it's a new car.

[00:52:07]>> jerking they be jerking at these mechanic shops.

[00:52:10]>> Yeah, it's a new car so it it just runs good. But a thousand dollars you know, I went up I went to the mechanic. They were like, you know, you know you know your engine needs a you know, a new Johnson you know, rod and I was like, all right, whatever. I'll do it. So paid it out paid it ate it up ate it ate the payment just was like, I'm going to be an adult. I'm going to be responsible. I'm going to take care of my car. I want it to last.

[00:52:33]I'm going to be a good owner and and that's that's part of adulting. Most of adulting is us just losing money to be honest.

[00:52:40]>> Losing, yeah, it's just living.

[00:52:41]>> Yeah, yeah.

[00:52:42]>> Living in America.

[00:52:44]>> Yep, you got anything?

[00:52:46]>> Oh, yelling is okay.

[00:52:48]>> What do you mean?

[00:52:49]>> Yelling, little little little little tone raiser thrown a back and forth.

[00:52:53]>> That's your that's your grow up?

[00:52:54]>> Yeah, it's fine.

[00:52:56]>> I I I think I think it depends.

[00:52:59]>> Crying at a bar and crying in public over a back and forth is not adulting.

[00:53:05]>> But yelling is.

[00:53:06]>> Yelling is adulting.

[00:53:07]>> There you have it.

[00:53:08]Reggie >> No tears, raise your voice.

[00:53:12]>> Yeah, you got anything Gabe?

[00:53:13]You good? Um >> The pillars >> Yelling is better than crying.

[00:53:17]>> Yes.

[00:53:18]>> you ever feel like you're going to yell and you're around Reggie, I mean you're going to cry you're around Reggie, yell instead. He can take that. Um part of being in a friendship a relationship is giving. You have to give. You can't just take take take. You have to come to the table. That's how you maintain adult relationships.

[00:53:33]And if you're paying for stuff, if you have bills, if you have car repairs, whatever you have, tickets, whatever you have to pay, instead of getting upset when you have to pay it, be thankful that you have the the the money to pay it. That is very adult of you to have money to pay your bills. It's very grown up. Even if you had to borrow it, the fact that you can get it is a very grown up thing to do. Kids have trouble getting money.

[00:53:59]As an adult, you have money to pay your bills and you're grown and you should be proud of that. Adult Hookah Podcast, if you're a single woman, DM Lori Harvey Simp. And uh >> Yes.

[00:54:11]>> Take him out on a date cuz I he's not going to take you. Um volume 162. [laughter] Adult Hookah Pod. Thank y'all for listening. [music] Come back next week.

[00:54:18]Peace.

[00:54:19]>> Yo, what's up, adulters? Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode [music] of the Adult Hookah Podcast. If you want to see me on the road, ianlarrylive.com for tickets. I'm in Tulsa, Washington, D.C., Birmingham, Alabama, [music] Charlotte, South Carolina. I got Raleigh coming up. I have Dominican [music] Republic. I have uh Connecticut. I'm going back to California. Check ianlarrylive.com for all tickets and please please share this episode. Give us a thumbs up and a like and tell your friends to come hang out weekly with the Adult Hookah Podcast. Peace.