Never Do These Things for a Woman

Hinzugefügt: 2026-05-12

[00:00:00]Hello everybody. I am a practicing therapist and I am also a doctoral student of psychology. Today I wanted to go over things that I think you should really never do for a woman unless you're very, very committed. But actually almost all of these I don't think you should really ever do. Any specifics or caveats we can talk about it when we go through these points. But also I do want to mention this can also work the other way around. I don't [clears throat] think you should do this for really anybody. And so if you're a lady and you're watching this, don't do this for a man. It's the same thing. So the first one is we're going to talk about it in more specifics to a man towards a woman but you can just flip it. But the first one is that I don't think you should ever drive a woman to another man's house. Now I I'm not saying this in a way where I'm making fun of you all, but some of you guys have actually done this and it doesn't it doesn't do any benefit. I know a lot of guys think maybe if I'm nice or I'll care for her, she'll at least see me as the genuine person I am or you guys are just being caring because you don't really care. But yes, I understand sometimes you don't really care and this is not something you're totally attached to. I can get that but you're still being used. It's your gas money, it's your car and it's your time. And so regardless of how you feel about this particular person, you have definitely better things to do. Honestly, you could just sit around and watch an educational you know, documentary or just TV, whatever you want to watch in comparison to this. I I do feel genuinely that will be better for your resources and time.

[00:01:28]It's up to you but I really don't think you should be doing this. And especially if you're trying to get her interested in you. Now some of you guys do this likely if you were like maybe in high school, some guys do this. I get that but it's not going to get you the girl that you want. She's not going to think, "Oh my god, this guy that drove her to his house." She's not going to think, "Okay, this guy was a terrible guy. He mistreated me. I'm going to choose this guy." I mean clearly she's going to his house for a reason. She's giving him something that she probably isn't giving you. So one way or another you're not going to win in that scenario, in my opinion, because she's already given it to him and without him doing any effort.

[00:02:03]So, I think that's really important. The second one is I'm just going to put it briefly, but unfortunately, this is something that some folks have brought up or they've said they were pressured to do so in session with me. They've kind of shared these things and everything you guys share with me is confidential. So, I'm not sharing anything specific. I'm just saying this is a pattern that I notice.

[00:02:21]And if you want to book a session with me, that's pinned in the comments. Um for consulting, you can be anywhere in the world. If you want therapy, you have to be in Virginia or DC. So, committing a crime is what I'm talking about. Some people think, "Okay, if I just do this for her to make her happy or if I just take this, you know, so she can get some resources."

[00:02:40]Some sort of thing, even some fraudulent thing, maybe write off things in her taxes that are not allowed, just to make her maybe make ends meet. It's not your responsibility, but especially committing a crime for anyone is not It's going to really get back at you one day. And so, I really want you guys to consider what you're doing for these people and what that reflects as you as a person. You're You're like you're treating yourself like lack of value.

[00:03:04]So, the next one is um if she always cuts people off or is like uncompromising, you know people like that. I think you do.

[00:03:25]And you always are there for her and she's completely uncompromising, you don't see any progress with her, eventually she's going to find a way to push you away or blame you for something you didn't do and you're not allowing her space to grow and reflect.

[00:03:39]If she's always uncompromising and you're always bending over backwards, eventually she's just going to pick at you for something. Maybe you're going to react and then she's going to blame you for that. And it's not doing her any favors, either. Regardless, you do really care about this girl, you're not you're just going to make her mental health much worse cuz compromising is part of the flexibility of our mind is really important. The next one is if you give her multiple chances after broken promises, if she's violated the terms of your relationship or broke trust without effort to change. People make mistakes.

[00:04:11]I have, you know, I'm not going to talk about those specific things because I've seen so many couples where they have broken lots of promises and they've made change in the relationship and marriage is fine. I've seen that as a therapist, as a couples therapist, I have definitely seen that. So, I'm not necessarily saying this is not feasible, but it's not it's it takes so much work, especially if this is not someone you're married to for 20 years. If she continues breaking these terms of the relationship, she's breaking promises, and she has pretty much no effort to change at all, I would like you to think about like why you're keeping her in your life and what that means for you because it sounds like it's just going to backfire, my opinion.

[00:04:51]The next one is fund her lifestyle, especially above your means. I've had some patients say they've gone into debt for some ladies. Like, I don't I I understand that you're a man and you can make your own decisions, but I would really consider maybe reflecting on this cuz this is just this is a recipe that you're attracting like manipulative people. Plus, how do you know she actually likes you if you're paying for everything? Does she like you or does she like your money? That's something that if I were you, I would think about.

[00:05:16]The next one is you give her all your free time because she feels easily abandoned. People think that this is something that's going to make her feel better, right? You don't One day, you're going to give her all your free time and she's going to not feel abandoned, and then she's going to give you your free time back. It usually doesn't work like that. If she's very easily abandoned or she's trying to take up all of your time, she doesn't like hobbies that you do, she doesn't like your friends, she doesn't like anything like that, it's just going to get worse because she's not learning to tolerate being by herself. The next one is you listen to all of her concerns and stressors at the expense of your stress and peace. Now, um so many guys do this. It's I think it's just natural. A lot of men think that their concerns are not important.

[00:05:58]They were raised this way. Maybe it's better to say raised this way rather than natural. Um they're always listening to her. They're on the phone with her for like hours and she's just complaining about like a co-worker.

[00:06:07]There like at one point conversations in my opinion, it's like counterproductive.

[00:06:12]You're talking about something really negative and all that's giving you stressed, and kind of wasting your time if I'm being completely honest, and then she's not getting any resolve. I get you want to listen to her for like 5 10 minutes. If it's a really bad thing, maybe 30 minutes, maybe an hour. I don't know the situation. But if it's like cutting into your like sleep time, your your eating time, things like that, this is probably something you have to set boundaries or set boundaries in terms of that relationship entirely if she's not changing. Um the next one is if you constantly get her out of trouble.

[00:06:44]Like I don't know. Maybe you take you take I don't know, the risk for her.

[00:06:48]Whatever it is, you take the fault. This is not healthy for you and it creates strain on the relationship, but she's going to just take advantage of you. And regardless, even if she's not doing it on purpose, this is really unhealthy for her. This is an unhealthy pattern. Not only is she going to push you away, she's going to push away pretty much everyone if she has these behaviors, and she's just going to end up alone and her mental health is going to deteriorate.

[00:07:09]The next one is you pay for her even when she's your ex. Okay. I have actually had some patients admit that they're still paying their ex's rent when it's like an ex-girlfriend. Like there's no obligation. Please don't do that. I don't want to talk about this too much cuz it just it's so frustrating to see men do this their hard-earned money. I I mean, I don't know what country you're from. I'm from America and like things are still difficult. Like your money is your money. I get if you're married or and I don't know what the situation is, but if she's your ex, like I don't I don't understand that. I don't personally I don't understand why you would do that. Like I'm guessing maybe you feel like you still care about her, maybe you don't want her to get mad. I understand maybe if she has your child, but it's just That's just my opinion. I could be wrong, okay? And the next one and the last one is she isolates she isolates herself and then she isolates you. And this pattern kind of is like she's always like staying indoors, she discourages friendships, she doesn't have any friends, she's you know, maybe she's watching like negative stuff on social media, whatever it is, and you have a life outside of her, but she doesn't like that. And so she feels really insecure, so you want to make her happy, and so you slowly cut those support systems, your family ties, your friendships, your hobbies, and you basically end up cutting everything off that makes your identity you and turn it into what she wants of you. You're almost becoming like her like, I don't know, puppet type of thing, and it's really controlling. This is not healthy, this is a sign of abuse. And so if you see that happening, this is something that, you know, reach out to people you care about, reach out to services in your area to protect yourself. I don't know if she's doing it on purpose, but it's just important to set those boundaries early, because you don't want to be in a situation that escalates and then there is nobody to help you. So I hope this video is helpful to somebody, please like, subscribe, I'll see you in the next one.