The “Just Be Confident” Problem

Added: 2026-05-18

[00:00:00]So, I've been thinking a lot about people are always telling guys like, "Oh, just be confident. You don't have to have money or be tall or be super handsome as long as you're just confident. Just be confident." But, like it's not that easy because to have confidence, you need experience practicing confidence, but a lot of guys lack that experience because they don't have the initial confidence to go out there and start building experience.

[00:00:22]It's like when jobs require you to have 10 years in the field before they'll hire you, but you literally just graduated. Or telling someone with anxiety to just stop worrying. It's not that easy. I'll tell you this though, as someone who used to have absolutely no confidence in myself, had a speech impediment until I was 13 where I couldn't say my r's, so my name used to be Lawan, and used to have acne so bad that my face looked like an extra most bestest pepperoni pizza, I have found as a little pro tip that it's a lot easier to be confident when you're doing the right thing. So, like a lot of guys get nervous talking to girls because they're so worried about like having rizz or looking cool or using the moves that pick up artists use. But, it's harder to feel confident being that guy because that's not who you are. But, it's a lot easier to be confident when you're simply being a decent person and doing things that you know are the right things to do. Not many of us lack the confidence to hold the door open for someone or ask if they need help carrying something or asking someone just how their day is. Like my teenage son for example, and I can say this because we've joked about it a ton, has no conventional rizz. He does not have a practiced game. But, I am never going to have to worry about him disrespecting or being mean to a woman because that's just not who he is. And that's why girls like him. Plus, he has a really sick sword collection. So, yeah, it's not easy to just simply be confident, but you will find that it gets easier if you're just doing right by people.