She Finally Met Her Father After 45 YEARS APART - How Did She Find Him in Vietnam?

Added: 2026-05-06

[00:00:08]Hello. Hello. Nice to see you. Nice to see you.

[00:00:09]>> Thank you so much for uh >> yeah, the the last minute um adventure.

[00:00:14]>> 7 minutes after I received Jade's email, I reached out to her on WhatsApp. A few hours later, we met up. Realistically, it was the only day that our schedules aligned before Jade's flight back to the States. So, one of the main reasons I didn't reach out to you until close to the end of my trip was I actually didn't have any information about him whatsoever. My mom had reached out to various cousins and relatives and then shared that information with my stepfather who then was able to transmit the information to me.

[00:00:49]>> Here's what Jade knew. her father's full name, his rough age, he was an eastern medicine herbalist and that he lived across from a Samuay temple in an area of Saigon called Sami.

[00:00:59]>> I looked at the information, I was like, "Holy mackerel, how in the world am I going to find this guy with this kind of information?" The light bulb went off in my head that, you know, I'd been following you for a long time and um you might be able to help. And on the rare chance that you might be free and in Saigon, >> I knew that there was no temples in Somay called Somay Temple. However, I knew that this was predominantly a Catholic neighborhood, so there shouldn't be too many temples, right?

[00:01:28]Well, sounds easier than it seems.

[00:01:30]You'll see.

[00:01:31]>> My parents at the time only had enough money for one person to escape by boat.

[00:01:37]They decided it was best for my mom to to escape to leave by boat because she was pregnant with me at the time. And eventually she made it to Thailand where I was born.

[00:01:48]>> So how I usually do this is I get a feel of the people around, right? How friendly they are and everything and then I'll approach them. But if we're really close to this temple here, we might as well ask people nearby the temple, right?

[00:02:01]>> Yeah. Near nearby the temple and let's see. All right.

[00:02:23]So, my mom and I made it over to the United States and we lived in a roachinfested apartment. She worked multiple jobs. Uh primarily she was the cleaning lady at a local synagogue, but in addition to that, every morning she would also clean uh multiple houses to uh make ends meet. Yet she was sending significant amounts of money as as much as we could scr together to to send to Vietnam in the hopes that he could make it over to the United States as well. I I never had any real toys. Most of the things that I had were donated items. I never had candy. I mean there there were it it was a tough time but I think my mom tried to make it the best that she could.

[00:03:07]>> Yeah.

[00:03:07]>> Like come on. Okay. So it has to be it has to be around here, >> right? It makes sense, right? No ying, right? It could it could be like that house right there.

[00:03:16]>> I don't see anything that is tukbak. But we also don't know if it's like an official kind of tukbak thing or it could just be like house in an alley, you know, type of a deal.

[00:03:41]So meanwhile, my dad was working very hard to try to escape Vietnam as well.

[00:03:47]And so he had had multiple failed attempts. He actually had been imprisoned a couple of times as well.

[00:03:52]Even though he tried very hard to make it over, he was not successful.

[00:04:12]It depends on who you ask, >> right? It all right. Let's take a 10-minute break. Let me go have a seat at this nice cafe.

[00:04:19]>> There were multiple times where we just lost contact with him completely. Not that communication was all that easy anyway. whether it was because of infrastructure issues um and the lack of relations between the United States and Vietnam, it would take roughly 10 11 months to receive a a a letter in return after you've sent one.

[00:04:43]>> But I just don't know if one person made a mistake and they just continue to to spiral, right?

[00:04:49]>> No, but your mom was very clear. It was very clear that she said that, you know.

[00:04:52]>> Yeah, but I mean my parents only heard it from somebody else. Oh, >> that's the thing is it's actually not even my mom. My dad's the one messaging.

[00:04:59]So, he's hearing it from my mom or my aunt who then heard it from somebody else. You see, so there's a possibility through the telephone.

[00:05:08]>> Okay. Okay. So, so, so they could hear like something like or something like that.

[00:05:14]>> Something like that.

[00:05:15]>> Okay. So, meaning that the temple is near and not in. Okay.

[00:05:20]>> Could be.

[00:05:20]>> Yeah.

[00:05:28]Okay.

[00:05:30]>> I knew it.

[00:05:32]>> Shoot. I knew it.

[00:05:35]>> See, that's why I always have to ask.

[00:05:36]Oh, this is cute. It's very cute. That's why I always have to ask multiple times.

[00:05:41]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:05:42]>> Is this in terms of in terms of in terms of geography, it's never clear >> because >> when one neighborhood ends and one begins.

[00:05:52]>> Yeah. That's right. That's right.

[00:05:53]>> We don't know. We don't know.

[00:05:56]>> So, when I was about maybe seven or 8 years old, we received a letter from my biological father saying that he wanted my mom to move on and that he had moved on already. He was remarried and to stop sending him money. It was the first indication that he was no longer coming there. there was no chance of him coming and it it was really openly devastating for me.

[00:06:23]>> So the plan now is to hit up Ja the Samo market and just ask people if they know this man.

[00:06:31]>> After that letter, you guys broke off all contact.

[00:06:34]>> Uh yeah. Yeah, pretty much. That was pretty much the last stagger as far as I'm aware.

[00:06:58]The main thing that prevented me from getting in contact with him earlier was I would say bitterness, resentment, anger. He let us know that he had moved on when I was roughly seven or eight, but it had been rumored, we had heard that there that I had a halfsister roughly 3 years younger than me. So there was a huge time period when we were still sending a lot of money, everything to him. That money was going to somebody else, to a whole different family.

[00:07:48]Yeah.

[00:07:49]>> So, in 2005, we went back to Vietnam and my stepfather shared with me that back then he he told my mom that he thought that I should look for my biological father. And uh I appreciated that a lot.

[00:08:03]But I told them I was not ready. Like if if they had presented me with that option, I would have declined.

[00:08:19]That's definitely a temple.

[00:08:21]And there's homes across.

[00:08:27]After visiting and asking people all around various temples in and around some, we hit a dead end. Nobody knew of this name. Luckily, Jade's mom gave her another clue.

[00:08:36]>> So, the second piece of information my mom provided me was that my biological father had recently met and visited my cousin who lives in Saigon right before my cousin was supposed to travel to Canada. She also was able to provide the address for for my cousin's house. Even though we knew that he wasn't in Vietnam at the time, the hope was that perhaps his wife would be around or, you know, his kids or or somebody that we could talk to in his absence.

[00:09:21]This is Jade's cousin's son-in-law, and we ask him to call his father-in-law.

[00:09:39]Yeah.

[00:09:57]Yeah.

[00:10:05]Yeah.

[00:10:09]Yeah.

[00:10:23]Yeah.

[00:10:25]>> Why didn't your dad ask for you to this cousin?

[00:10:29]>> I had asked him about it and he said he was really afraid of interfering with my life by him reaching out to me or my mom. It could potentially cause a rift between my mom and my stepfather or my stepfather and me. It was not appreciated for anybody to help establish contact with him.

[00:10:53]>> Do you buy that? Do you do you believe that >> there's a tawa shop right there that we can we can go to? But it's it's it should be right on that right on that corner. Right there. Right. If if if what they're saying is true.

[00:11:49]The man working here was very cautious about giving us private information which we understood completely. But in hopes of reassuring him that this was related to a family reunion, I told him about my YouTube channel.

[00:12:04]And so I'm making I knew that in Vietnam, property rental contracts usually had the owner's name and address on them. I asked him if there was a rental contract laying around and he actually had it and he read out the address >> and we were off. Thank you again to him.

[00:12:45]I actually reached out to him to thank him. Today's mission would have ended there if it wasn't for him and his trust and taking a chance on us. So, thank you Joy.

[00:13:04]Hello, Joy.

[00:13:05]Am I?

[00:13:06]>> So, to be honest, uh I was supposed to actually be having dinner with some friends. They had actually uh made a seven course meal and it was getting late and I was getting pretty hungry.

[00:13:18]>> Like there was no break for food whatsoever. Right.

[00:13:22]>> We just kept going. Like there was a coffee break and that was it. Like there was no there was no >> Exactly.

[00:13:28]>> I I was hungry but then I just stopped being hungry, you know, like that adrenaline was like feeding me, right?

[00:13:38]What does that mean?

[00:13:41]>> This one.

[00:13:44]this car.

[00:13:54]Okay. I mean, there's lights inside.

[00:14:05]Got to be one of these.

[00:14:07]>> A good chunk.

[00:14:09]>> Yeah. Okay.

[00:14:12]Okay.

[00:14:15]>> Yay. Your uncle, your dad's younger brother lives here.

[00:14:21]>> Those people that like showed us I think they might have his number.

[00:14:25]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. We'll talk to We'll talk to them.

[00:14:28]>> She's got his number as well.

[00:14:30]>> Yeah.

[00:14:30]>> First. And then >> there has to be a doorbell, right? Like if somebody if somebody wants to see him, maybe he doesn't have any visitors, >> right? But there's there's the I mean, yeah, there's light in the house. Oh, I see a kitty cat.

[00:14:43]>> Hello.

[00:14:51]>> The neighbor gave us his phone number.

[00:14:53]The neighbor knows your dad. What did she say? I couldn't hear her.

[00:14:55]>> She was like, uh, she was like, "Yeah, I was like, >> oh my god. All right, let's call him."

[00:15:02]>> Yeah.

[00:15:40]Huh?

[00:15:52]Huh?

[00:15:53]>> Both of our eyes bulged out as we were looking at each other. We're very confused. And she goes, "Yeah, yeah. I'm his first wife and he lives next door with his other wife.

[00:16:17]Oh my god. Who is this person?

[00:16:23]>> Wow.

[00:16:25]>> Wow.

[00:16:29]>> Oh, look. There he is. There he is.

[00:16:34]>> Oh my god. This is like the great Gatsby.

[00:16:36]>> It really was joyful. I'd heard his name before. My mom had told me about him that he used to be in the movies and you know he used to be an actor and all this kind of other stuff.

[00:16:52]>> I felt immediately welcome but more than welcome.

[00:16:56]>> Yeah. Like they know you like they'd all been like they've been waiting for me.

[00:17:12]Oh my god.

[00:17:18]>> Jade's dad didn't live in Sam, just near there. Jade's aunt-in-law called Jade's dad and he was on his way.

[00:17:24]>> You didn't know what he looked like in the past 45 years, right? You've never seen him in 45 years or something like that. Okay. So when he walked in through the the the door with his wife, tell me what was on your mind.

[00:18:09]The first saying was, "Wow, he's short.

[00:18:11]He's pretty short.

[00:18:14]I'm pretty short." It was just a beautiful feeling, you know? Ah, it's my dad. Um, and I I just felt this this sense of I guess belonging.

[00:19:17]Exactly.

[00:19:26]>> Probably one of the biggest question marks for me was how I would be received by his new wife. And that was always something that in the back of my mind it it could have it could have gone very very differently. But I was welcomed in with with open open arms. Very very much love.

[00:20:32]Mo. Hi.

[00:20:34]Hi.

[00:20:36]Okay.

[00:20:47]Ya. Yay.

[00:21:26]Yay!

[00:21:37]Sally, you want to show yourself a little bit?

[00:22:16]I did not realize that my son had no idea um that that My my stepfather uh was, you know, was my stepfather.

[00:22:27]>> Yeah, >> that's your brother.

[00:22:30]>> That's my brother.

[00:22:35]>> Oh.

[00:22:46]Our other prediction was accurate that he practiced herbal medicine at home and he didn't have a shop. So that makes sense.

[00:23:08]So at least that information wasn't completely inaccurate, right? I didn't expect that I would have such a close relationship with my halfsister. One of the interesting things was when we were having breakfast together, she shared something very emotional uh during her childhood.

[00:23:43]I don't know.

[00:24:18]Uh she she used to ask my dad or our dad uh when she was growing up, you know, what what would happen When you know you you meet my sister, my older sister, will you still love me?

[00:24:47]He said, "Well, you know, your sister hasn't had an opportunity to spend time with me, so yeah, she's, you know, I'm going to have to love her the most. It's it's it's just the way it's got to be."

[00:24:57]My poor sister, you know, as she was saying that, I can only imagine what it was like for like a a young girl to hear her dad say, you know, something like that, even though he was really trying to be honest with her.

[00:25:09]>> So devastating, you know.

[00:25:20]There's just so much to unpack, you know. so much. Like, oh, >> it's just in kindergarten at the time. So, I was around 5 years old and I remember this I mean we had sent multiple boxes to to Vietnam, but this one in particular, I remember sending um some sending something that that meant a lot to me.

[00:26:04]Uh there was a cassette tape where um you could you know back in the day you could record things on the on the cassette tape and I at the time I think I sang um my mom had me sing Old McDonald and a song in Vietnamese uh which is like Ferrajaka in Vietnamese.

[00:26:26]And um in addition to that, she she was on the tape as well um talking, describing what life was like, how difficult it was over in the United States, crying, you name it, everything.

[00:26:39]And I just remember cuz it was nighttime. I'm listening to her recite how how how much she misses him and she's crying. Anyway, so that that um tape along with a lot of other pictures throughout the years, too. I think that that they you know we had sent like probably our best our best pictures. My mom said it was my best baby pictures that always went over to Vietnam. Um but uh in that particular package there was there was this one tape and uh so you know we ship it off and hadn't heard anything but like I would say like a couple years later somehow that same tape had shown up. Uh we we have a really really big extended family in Vietnam. At least we used to. And somehow I think someone in my extended family had purchased this exact same tape from some local like like a like a market, you know, like one of the uh you know where you can buy like secondhand things like that.

[00:27:38]>> And yeah, like a flea market. So they bring it home and thought it was empty um and but they they they pop it into the the cassette player and notice that there's a a child's voice singing and um a woman's voice talking and crying and after they heard listened to it a couple times it it it occurred to them they recognized the voice and it was my mom's voice. Uh and so in my the way we conclude what what we concluded was he had he had sold this tape. It was it meant nothing because it wasn't very expensive. You know what I mean? It's a sentimental thing. It was meant to be a sentimental thing. Um, so it was it was I I I felt like it was heart-wrenching um to know that something that was so sentimental and and had so much love built into it could be discarded so easily and that added to a lot of my um my anger growing up.

[00:28:38]>> And now that you've met him, what did he say about the tape?

[00:29:23]No one had any recollection of any kind of tape. And they said that they they would never throw something like that away. And and I believe them. I believe them. I think they're they're pretty darn sentimental people. that little cassette tape. To me growing up, it was sort of a symbol of my father's rejection of of me. And to find out that that that was actually untrue, um that we had misunderstood him, that all my photos had been retained and and preserved and and actually loved. It was really um actually heartwarming and it made me feel a lot lot better.

[00:30:19]Jade's mom and dad had a daughter before her who passed away. Her father and her stepmom regularly visits her older sister, first at her grave and later on now at their local church.

[00:30:49]Not only did they say, "We've been waiting for you. We've been trying to find you." But they also recited over and over, "We we miss your mom. you.

[00:30:59]We've been trying to find your mom forever. We miss her so much. So, it wasn't it wasn't just my reunion. It was it was their reunion, too. You know, they were in-laws and they were actually all very very close at one time.

[00:31:42]Yeah.

[00:32:00]I think an apology to my mom would also be really really helpful. Maybe words to my mom directly to apologize for really what had transpired. I I think would would also be um maybe a good bit of closure for for her. And that time it was the first time that your mom and your dad ever saw each other after 45 years.

[00:32:23]>> Right. Oh man.

[00:32:25]>> Hi.

[00:32:26]>> Hi.

[00:32:26]>> Hi Maya.

[00:32:29]>> Y >> I just wanted to thank you so much again to have you encourage me to keep going because we were so close. um really really meant a lot because I think had I not had those extra words I it it it probably would not have happened that night. So I really really appreciated having you.

[00:33:02]Isn't there a little bit of you that wonders like why he didn't try harder?

[00:33:08]Because I know some viewers are going to be like if he really cared that much, why didn't he try harder, right? Like I understand from your reasoning like with your stepdad and stuff like that, but like if he had that contact with that cousin already, couldn't he directly ask that cousin, hey, can you give me her phone number, her her address or anything like that? But he never did. He never asked that cousin. He would come over and and talk to the cousin about herbal medication. And he didn't leave his phone number. He didn't leave his address or anything like that.

[00:33:44]>> Have you met my mom?

[00:33:47]Um, he probably knew. I mean, he knows my mom's a ball buster. He knew that uh a lot of of things had transpired. And I I think you know innately I think he understood that when I was ready I would come looking for him.