A Healthy Marriage Can Change a Child’s Life

[00:00:00]Back to our ask me anything. Do you label yourself a comic writer culture commentator?

[00:00:06]Uh, no dudes. I'm I I don't label myself man.

[00:00:11]>> You can't own property man.

[00:00:14]>> have to I I just always say writer and comedian because that's all encompassing.

[00:00:20]And mom and wife.

[00:00:23]I don't know. I I'm yeah, I guess like media personality is the one that makes me want to throw up in my mouth, but it's also true.

[00:00:32]>> [laughter] >> Gen X auntie.

[00:00:35]>> Gen X auntie that you know you needed.

[00:00:38]>> You sure about that?

[00:00:41]You sure about that?

[00:00:42]>> Do you always actually schedule out your writing time or do you do a bit of the other bit of on the fly as well?

[00:00:50]>> [laughter] >> Oh, scheduling my writing time you old so-and-so. How type A are you? These two questions kind of go hand in hand. Um, I do schedule writing time when I'm but I also don't.

[00:01:07]>> What?

[00:01:09]Bro, what are you talking about man?

[00:01:11]>> I will often schedule writing time and I will be very disciplined and then just goes off the rails. I'm not type A. I thought I was type A. I don't know why I thought this because I always wanted to be organized, but I have I think my ADHD like just completely overwhelms my type A-ness. I'm more of like a nutty professor.

[00:01:34]I'm type type Z.

[00:01:37]I don't know. I I'm not I I've been around type A people like my husband who's super type A. He's zero inbox, not me. That's how you know if someone's type A or not. Do they have a zero inbox? If they do they're type A. If they don't, they're crazy person.

[00:01:55]>> [music] >> We got a lot of questions about sobriety and I think it deserves its own AMA. So, if you have questions about me and being sober and how I got sober, why I got sober, that deserves its own ask me anything because it is I could talk endlessly about that and I know a lot of my audience is sober or trying to get sober or struggles of staying sober and I it is my favorite thing to talk about.

[00:02:27]I could I could just pivot to sober content because I've quit everything.

[00:02:33]I've quit heroin, I've quit coke, I've quit cigarettes, I've quit drinking, I've quit all of the things.

[00:02:40]Weed, my true love, my true love. So, I will talk endlessly about that and we don't really have enough time. So, we'll do our separate ask me anything just about that.

[00:02:52]>> Let's do this. Let's put a pin in it.

[00:02:55]Pin in. There you go.

[00:02:56]>> And what is our last question?

[00:02:59]>> As the father of two girls, I wonder if you would talk about what current you would tell little girl you after your life's experiences.

[00:03:06]>> Oh, Jesus Christ.

[00:03:10]>> Your best one best piece of advice.

[00:03:13]>> What would current me tell little girl you after your life's experiences?

[00:03:21]>> If you get the opportunity, you should kill yourself.

[00:03:24]>> Or what would you tell your daughter?

[00:03:25]Like what's your best piece of advice you could give your daughter?

[00:03:28]>> I wouldn't give my daughter advice. I would give current me the advice to prioritize my marriage and make it work no matter what because the best thing that you can give your kids is a healthy marriage and my life would have been completely different if my parents had stayed together. That's just a fact. I'm not blaming anyone. I don't I'm not saying like oh, like I haven't I've I've done a lot of work. I've gotten over all this stuff. I'm just saying it is factually accurate that the a healthy marriage is the best thing you can give your your children.

[00:04:11]>> [music] >> And so I would give current me that advice. Prioritize your marriage. Make sure that it's healthy so that your little girl has the best possible chance at not becoming a heroin addict.

[00:04:27][laughter] >> All right, then what would you teach what's the number one thing you'd teach her? Like what's important for your little girl to know?

[00:04:34]>> Um One of the things I was dealing with today and I've noticed this and she does not suffer from this. My daughter is very she's like allergic to thirstiness of any kind which I actually respect a lot from people. Like she's allergic to it from people. I would say and I noticed this even myself today because I'm trying to work out a deal and I have this tendency to placate the men around me and be like, oh, I'm not trying to be a pain in the ass. No. Be high maintenance. Be okay with being high maintenance. I when she was born, I was like, I think my daughter might be high maintenance and all the women in my chat were like, oh, that means she'll have a great life. And I was like, yeah. I probably should have been a little more high maintenance and I don't mean that in a bad way. I just mean advocate for yourself. Ask yourself the question, would this person you're negotiating with say this to a man ever in a million years? And the answer is often usually no. So don't be afraid to stick up for yourself. She's not. She already she's already ahead of the game on this, but this is what I would say to all little girls. I noticed this when I was teaching little girls yoga. I used to go into like Watts and teach yoga, and I would ask the girls what would was one thing that they liked about themselves, and they could not name one single thing. It was so hard for They could easily criticize themselves, but it was so hard for them to name a single thing that they liked about themselves and that they were proud of. And I would say to my little girl to be proud of herself, and I hope that she internalizes not Mommy's proud of you, Daddy's proud of you, that she should be proud of herself, and that I hope little girls everywhere learn to internalize some kind of voice that teaches them to be proud of themselves that is not relying on external circumstances or people.